#the horror of being 14

[dabblingreturns]

I have seen alot of really good analysis of caviler being a gender....rather than a job....and the fetishiasion of cavilers by necromancers like cytherea.

And with that in mind, there is something a bit heartbreaking about the dinner party scene in Gideon the Ninth.

Image: [highlighted text from chapter 15 of Gideon the ninth. "“This is going to be a weird question,” said Jeannemary. Gideon dropped her arm and tilted her head quizzically. A little bit of blood drained from the teen’s face, and Gideon almost felt sorry for her.....“Ninth … how big are your biceps?” It seemed to be long after Gideon was forced to supinate and flex at the whim of a teenage girl"]

Followed up by this exchange

Image: [highlighted text from chapter 15 of Gideon the ninth. "Gideon looked. Isaac and Jeannemary were standing close to the table, Jeannemary’s sleeves pulled down to reveal her biceps. They were the muscles of an athletic and determined fourteen-year-old, which was to say, unripped but full of potential; her floppy-haired teen-in-crime was wearily measuring them with his hands as they carried on a conversation in whispers— (“I told you so.” “Yours are fine?” “Isaac.” “It’s not like this is a bicep competition?” “Dumbest thing you ever said?”)"]

It's a funny conversation....except when you relize that it's a 14 year old comparing thier body to their older peers and finding thier own bodies to be wanting....Gideons thought that Jeannemary's biceps are "unripe but full of potential" is a much better response, even though it's unspoken...then Isaac's "it's not like its a biceps competition"...because that's not calming down Jeannemary's worry about her body.

And its not like other cavs font have wierd body stuff going on too

Colums body is bespoke, it's not a fighters body...but it is optimized for his duty as a cav. And I bet all the cav's (except gideon) are aware of that.

Naberius and Protessalous are both ripped. Protessalous to an unsettling extent.

Camilla physique isn't notable, but her skills are and her body is a wepon of war in service to herself and her family.

And Marta exact shape is hidden under some nice tailoring, But I assume it's honed by training and battle.

Magnus has a dadbod...but Abigail likes his dadbod....and Magnus never was a traditional caviler.

Jeannemary is looking all around, trying to figure out what shape society wants her body to be. And freaking out as it doesn't quite match up. It's understandable, but also tragic

And the cav who is closest in age to Jeannemary, and to whom Jeannemary looks up to, just happens to possess some of the best biceps in the nine house.

It's enough to give a poor cav a complex.

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #tlt #gideon nav #jeannemary chatur #caviler #gender and body images #body image #the horror of being 14 #tlt meta #cav as gender

[haunted-xander]

I think Ryne would have a kinda skewed sense of what's normal. Like, she may technically know what's "normal" for most people, but what's normal for her is way different. She's raised by two men who are both Weird, only one of which can even pretend to be normal (and like hell Thancred bothered with that while on the run with Ryne lol)

Ryne thinks that talking circles round pixies is common knowledge from her many stays in Il Mheg. It is not. She also thinks knowing how to and being able to stomach skinning and gutting animals for food is normal. It's certainly more common, but unless you're a hunter it absolutely does not come as easily. Being able to walk and run around quietly is something she technically knows is unusual, but since her company has mainly consisted of a professional spy and a man who barely leaves home she tends to forget that most people can't do that.

I can't come up with anymore atm but. Ryne should get to be just a little weird(er) I think

#i also think this would make interactions with gaia funnier #bc for all of gaias Baggage she is more or less a normal teenager #who has normal reactions to things (mostly) #ryne & gaia go camping a bit and ryne finds and hunts down like a boar #and gaia watches in horror as ryne just guts it right there bc ryne forgot most ppl dont like to see that process #(and then she repeatedly apologizes for her oversight and promises not to do it in front of her again) #(gaia didnt care THAT much but appreciates the thought anyway) #anyway. my little baby girl i love her and want her the best always #ryne waters #thancred waters #urianger augurelt #< just mentioned (sorta) #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #xander being insane about ryne #not the typical deep ranting BUT IT COUNTS

[starry-bi-sky]

more cfau miscellaneous things because Childhood Friends Danny and Jason have my head and heart always and I need to finish rewriting chapter two dammit (and redo the half-finished chapter 4 because its just Not The Vibes). i'm almost through I need to get through the graveyard scene. (i just stubbornly refuse to have it be shorter than the original chapter and thats the little death. that is the mind killer.)

Danny and jason’s ghost forms both smell faintly like burnt flesh and cigarettes. However, Jason has a more smokey smell while Danny’s smells almost,,, electrical? In a sense? Like he just straight up smells like burnt flesh and sulphur while Jason smells like someone put him in a smoker first.

It’s very much an unpleasant smell but Danny finds an odd comfort in it just as much as he finds a comfort in the smell of nicotine.

(Jason post-revival smells burnt flesh once and is immediately offput by the fact that it brings him an instinctive comfort. He doesn’t realize its because it reminds him of Danny, and is uncomfortable by it.)

-

In an au of an au, Danny’s altercation with Rath ends with Rath regaining enough of his sanity to snap out of the grieving state and ends with him breaking down. Instead of being souped and imprisoned, Rath, who is permanently 14, decides to Move On into the unknown. He’s exhausted, heartbroken, and tired.

(Is this influenced heavily by the ParaNorman scene where he talks to Agatha and helps her move on? Yes. But it doesn’t fit with the Original Storyline so im shoving it into an Au of an Au.)

Rath tells Danny that Jason lied to them (which he genuinely believes), and that he’s tired of waiting/looking for him/grieving. Jason is gone. He isn’t coming back, he abandoned them. And he wants his mom and dad, and his sister, and his friends. And he’s ready to join them.

He leads Danny out to Gotham, which other than Amity Park might’ve been the only city left untouched due to Rath’s own mental block on the place. They go out to the park he and Jason used to frequent or up to one of crime alley’s rooftops, and there Rath lies down and goes to sleep. Only to never wake up again, materializing into nothing as his soul moves on.

Before Rath leaves, he forces Danny to promise him that he’ll only wait for Jason for ten years. After that if he doesn’t find him, or if Jason doesn’t show, then Danny has to move on. Whether that be like how Rath does, or if its inly mentally/emotionally, doesn’t matter. He has to move on. Don’t wait for him. Don’t waste his time any more.

(“Oh, and if you find him, kick his ass for me.”)

Danny reluctantly agrees, and Rath lies down. Danny sings to him as he falls asleep.

(Angsty points if the vigilantes including Red Hood caught wind of their presence and were silently watching from the shadows. Rath might know they’re there, but Danny’s too focused on Rath to notice.)

(If only so that Red Hood realizes that this is what happened to Danny, and that Danny is gone before he can make things right. The tragedy, folks. The angst. The initial realization that Danny was Rath, and then also that Danny was dead and has been dead for years, and that before he moved on, he moved on believing that Jason abandoned him.)

(like i said it doesn't fit in the original timeline/storyline hence why its an au of an au and isn't nearly a fleshed out, but i was largely just focusing on the tragedy of Rath moving on and Jason being alive to see it and realize just who Rath is.)

-

Just like how the Lazarus pits shot Jason's twiggy 4'6-5'4 (depending on what you find) feet tall and 86lb ass up like a tree an essentially fixed his malnutrition, the portal did the same thing for Danny.

(granted i forgot about malnutrition and danny's likely stunted growth at first -- his family lived in crime alley and despite both his parents working, I don't think they had enough food all the time. He probably wasn't as badly malnourished as Jason was, but he wasn't healthy either.)

Granted his ghost in its "natural" state (14) is short, and his growth spurts were slow at first, it did result in him reaching his dad's height. There were points where it just happened overnight, like a baby. He went to bed one night 5’6 and woke up the next day 5’10.

Jazz is shorter than him. Although I have't decided if she's even liminal at all (and if she is, it didn't cure everything because she would have also suffered childhood malnutrition, and since in au canon their parents didn't get their hands on physical ectoplasm until after they got to Amity Park. So the exposure is less.)

-

Danny's voice absolutely sounds like canon Dan's. It kinda just dropped one day when he was 16-17 and never went back up. Sam and Tucker sometimes ask him to just talk about anything because they find his voice soothing.

I'm not sure yet how Danny would feel about it at first considering Rath, but I imagine that Rath, when he did speak, would have had a quieter and scratchier/weaker voice considering he's spent the last decade shrieking and crying.

(and i suppose technically that shouldn't have any effect on his throat considering he's a ghost and idk if that would actually affect him, but i like the idea so im keeping it)

In the beginning you could hear him from a mile away by the sound of his loud, echoing wails, but ten years later you can only really hear him by the soft, shuddering sobs he makes. Like he's gasping for air that isn't there. The future is full of very quiet survivors.

And it's much easier to speak when you pitch your voice upwards (especially when whispering/speaking quietly) so he might've spoken in a higher, airy pitch in order to be heard. So Danny might actually find a comfort in having a lower voice.

#tw mentions of gore #cw gore #i suppose this counts as gore #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dpxdc crossover #childhood friends au #cfau #really leaning into the idea of rath just being a horror. the horrors! i am delighted in the horrors! #im having fun with it #i swear to god turning 19 turned a switch on in my brain because i am much more comfortable with gore and heavy injury now than i was l #literally a year ago. the urge to write about some of danny's most horrific injuries in his fights is STRONG #like the hORRORS folks. *th horrors*. i dont think i'll ever write a dissection fic because that icks me out but the idea that danny's had #to stitch up his own throat because it got slit in a fight nd he cant shift back to human until he's done because his ghost will survive bu #his body wont #the idea that he's been impaled multiple times before and it hurts each fucking time but he still gets up and hurls the hurt right back in #equal measure. because that's how you wanna play? okay. lets play. he's 14 and his best friend is dead. he can play. #and the idea that all ghosts have 'corpse' forms where their ghosts look exactly like how they died. and danny is utterly unrecognizable #jazz being liminal or not just isnt important to me because she's barely gonna show up in the story anyways #same reason why i hardly use the headcanon that ellie becomes danny's daughter because what use is she to me like that? she'll hardly have #an impact on the story and i refuse to treat characters like props. if they can't help progress the story then they aren't included

[aq2003]

ive been emotionally put through the washing machine and i rly have nothing super coherent to say abt wild blue yonder rn other than a) this is one of my favorite doctor who episodes of all time and b) david and catherine are two of the most talented actors on the planet

#like i said i wanted it to be tonally midnight/turn left and GOD. I FUCKING GOT IT. AND IM LOSING MY MIND #midnight/turn left are abt the horrors of the doctor and donna being apart from one another #wild blue yonder turned it on its head and went what if the doctor and donna are their own horrors. #so fucking fantastic i hate it and i love it sooooo so much #dr who #dw spoilers #the way fourteen kisses donna's head at the end . what if i die what if i die WHAT IF I DIEEEEEE #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #14 era

[postal-ech]

I have found a gem here while killing time at work

There is something just fascinating about learning the history of this god-forsaken clown-tier space station roleplaying game.

It's also fascinating learning about some of the other stuff it crosses with, like did you know there was once a LISA content creator named SpaceHippie (aka AdmiralHippie, Scruffy the Janitor, etc) that owned his own server which incorporated LISA: The Painful stuff? You could play as a syndicate operative who learned the ways of the Armstrong Style. That just sounds fun as shit.

Sadly, that doesn't exist anymore. I hope SpaceHippie is doing well out there.

But yeah, give the short documentary a look when you guys can

Also check out Space Station 14 when you can, its just Space Station 13 but on an improved engine that won't make you feel like you're playing on the world's most unstable game

And also, go ahead and share some stories of your time with these games, if any of you have any stories on hand. Always fun to spin a yarn on this shitpost of a game.

EDIT: Okay I also need to add onto this, it is absolutely fucking wild that SS13 had the likes of the YOGSCAST and FACEPUNCH make their own servers as well. This game is just truly something else.

HONK!

#Space Station 13 #Space Station 14 #internet archaeology #God i love being a clown on this game #the horrors one wroughts as an agent of the Honkmother #Praise be to the Honkmother #HONK! #Youtube

[qc-wiggles]

ive said this on discord and ill say it again. an au where the 14 fears are a videogame/series of games and elias makes jon play it

#it could be a tma gamers au #elias is the manager of jon martin tim and sasha #the idea started because i was imagining them playing horror games and being comically terrified out of their minds #jon's like my asshole manager is making me play these weird ass games from a dev who names his own company after himself what a loser #and then gets traumatised 14 times over #talks

[mayoiayasep]

fuyume profile calling him “a boy who’s often blinded by devotion and selfishness”. like oh i’m gonna get really obsessed with him won’t i…

#the horrors of being 14 years old…i get him i do… #enstars tag

[latenitewaffles]

Makes an X-Men oc so I can pass down my teen angst

#he's just a little guy #<- going through the horrors of being an omega-level 14 year old mutant

[vellichorsdesire]

embarrassing kind of BUT i’ve scheduled like a date with f/o for like the first time ever because i keep on putting it off and i’ve been a little stressed this week so it’s a nice reward….!!! might draw something for the occasion and i might just schedule these kind of dates more often because it kind of feels really nice to do

#don’t mind me being embarrassed that’s just cuz sometimes i still feel so doing f/o gushes or whatever BUT i’m trying to get over it… #the movie will be 500 days of summer cuz i haven’t watched that before… dragging them to watch the things i like with me #i feel like during movie decisions we have a HARD time and then theyll go ‘ok before u say anything i love u but- #-we are not watching hit movie detective conan movie 14’ and id jokingly go like ‘aww’ But i understand i’ve watched it 6 times. Um #ive always thought of them as like a horror liker cuz its silly but i think they appreciate screenwriting and will just watch any movie tbh #whilst i’m a more romance movie person… recent faves are la la land and shall we dance i never watch so much #and i miss. planning dates… super super fun I HOPE THIS PLAN GOES THROUGH i’ll be kind of upset otherwise honestly… #i don’t have saturday night free unfortunately so <//3 #❥ vels ramblings

[andr0nap-wf]

i need to start putting misha in more situations, ive been too nice to them

#andro talks #gotta keep them humble #i say as drifter misha is currently having a god awful time in our timeline experiencing the continuous horrors of war #finally understanding why operator misha is so jaded despite being like... 14 #drifter unfortunately still has too much empathy #you know its bad when you start missing being stuck in a timeloop

[swiftcast-selene]

Day 6: Road

"aye, aye, I know. it's cold, it's miserable. but count your lucky stars we know these roads at night, and the Imperials don't."

#BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE: I HAND POSED ALL 10 PEOPLE IN THIS IMAGE. PLEASE CLAP. I DID NOT KNOW YOU COULD IMPORT POSES. #however it is far too late now. i have gone insane #miqomarch #miqomarch 2024 #ffxiv miqo'te #seeker of the sun #final fantasy 14 #gposers #PLEASE fullview these i will cry soo so so hard if you don't #ANYWAY. this would be maybe a year or 2 after the calamity...... #he was in the conjurer's guild when it happened and like. the scope and sheer horror of it just cemented the idea he had #that he had to go out there and do what little he was able to do to help #and who was MORE affected by it all than the Ala Mhigans? #post-calamity; in the midst of Garlean invasion; and barred from their one escape route thru the Shroud? #so he spent a few years out there #not necessarily with the Resistance. but with bands of refugees #being passed around as the one magical healer willing to stick around #going to wherever there are the most injured or elderly or sick or kids #trying his hardest to make a difference even though the losses are nearly too much to bear on good days #i'd imagine they had routes where they could accompany people through Gyr Abania so they could make it to safer areas #or where they'd pick up supplies en route or patrol for safety #it's also where he realized like. ohhh. people *will* accept me. i just need to find the right ones. #spent many a night in some stranger's arms not knowing if they'd both still be there the next day... #until the Scions eventually picked him up~ #and promised him he *could* make a difference.

[applecherry108]

Guess I’m starting a tag bc I cannot be stopped.

The AGONY of the faint leitmotif of “leaves on the vine” while iroh talks about how he owes Zuko 😭😭😭😭😭😭

#I’m on episode 4 now and GENUINELY do not understand where all the hate is coming from #no it’s not as good as the source material and that’s fine #that doesn’t make it bad #I think theyve made a lot of very smart decisions as far as adaptation goes #like centering multiple plots within Omashu. that’s smart as fuck! #and sure there’s not as much breathing room for filler but the characters?? are still?? having mini side quests??? #ffs TAO is here. that in and of itself is shocking #also they are straight up burning people alive on screen on the regular. #I think this adaptation has already justified itself by casting literal children and just. letting them face the horrors of war #it’s easy to forget how young these characters are when animated but it’s fucking hard NOT to be constantly reminded #when watching actual 12 and 14 year olds. #azula hasn’t done much yet but fuck dude. THATS A CHILD! THATS A MIDDLE SCHOOL CLIQUE! #also maybe I’m overly forgiving of the younger actors being a little stiff and awkward. but like. they’re kids. it’s okay. #apple talks #apple reacts to Netflix atla

[nerdyenby]

Btw 30 is young. If you’re under 35 you’re young. Hell, if you’re under 45 and chill, you’re still young in my book. There’s nothing wrong with being old but you ain’t there yet chief. You’ve got so much time. So many more people to meet, so much more media to enjoy, so many more places to see, so many more opportunities to come. You have time, you deserve to live like it.

#saying this as a 20 year old #age in my mind is as follows: #0-5 = baby #6-14 = child #15-18 = too young to go through the horrors but still a YA protagonist for some reason #19-24 = adult but approachable #25-30 = adult but has stuff figured out maybe #31-42 = adult but I respect the hell out of you (if you support trans people) #43-55 = adult but if you’re a cis man I’m scared of you (more than the normal amount) #56+ = old /pos #ageism is fucking disgusting #there’s nothing wrong with being old but 30 IS NOT OLD

[pomellon]

Yeah Dead Space hyper fixation is really going brrr and I be think of aus 

#pom talks #I'm either thinking something with Dream Sap George Punz Karl and Foosh #with half of them being on the crew of the Ishimura and the others being part of the crew that responds to the distress call #OR #dnn with Dream being crew and Sap and George responding to the call in hopes of seeing their bf #And then add Punz Foosh and Karl joining the 2nd game setting #Also if I remember correctly none of these guys are good with horror? #they're all getting traumatized uvu #potential aus #anyways this is a super old hyper fixation of mine so I've been really happy digging back into the lore :D #original game came out when I was 14-15 like jfc that's half my life time ago #and the remake is so so good like hands down the best game remake I've seen #and it's traumatizing me all over again <3

[erabundus]

i  know  it's  established  ren  has  a  high  pain  tolerance,  but  i  think  the  fact  he's  only  displayed  a real response to  being  hurt  THREE  TIMES  during  the  course  of  this  entire  blog  really  puts  it  into  perspective.

#𝟎𝟎𝟒 : 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥. ◟ hc .◝ #gore tw #body horror tw #( once when dottore was disassembling him like a shredded chicken. ) #( once when xiao gave him approximately 14 concussions in quick succession & slowly drove a spear into his chest. ) #( once when he had to extract a piece of metal that was twisted in his vitals ( after being impaled & falling a great distance ) ) #( even then his reactions are generally pretty tame. ) #( at worst he'll pass out for a bit. he won't really yell or panic. ) #( pre-fatui & especially pre-furnace he actually reacted to pain like any other person. ) #( but mundane injuries don't bother him anymore because he's grown so accustomed to enduring much much worse. ) #( he's apathetic. ) #( & it doesn't help that he's used to seeing himself as an object either. )

[straycalamities]

those late night epiphanies where you just want to completely reinvent a part of yourself (or the whole self) into a new person

#txt #like i do enjoy being a very character-heavy artist #but sometimes i wish i was better at thinking of compositions that expressed myself more uh abstractly? #not so literally #as i usually do :| #i wanna be a horror/weirdcore artist so bad #i wanna be reposted on every 14 year old's socmed #and on every aesthetic pinterest board :( #do you understand