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a-little-ray-of-fantasy · 2 years

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I saw your post about Stolas possibly being in the spectrum and I just wanted to ask for more details about your observation and reason. Please do not take this the wrong way as I'm trying to understand how to tell if someone is or isn't.

I'm politely disagreeing that him, jumping out of excitement is something to attribute to autism or neurodivergence. Can it not be a mannerism or habit of his? Or a common indication of him being happy over something thrilling? The same reason applies to his likeness to plants, specific book choices, and raptor hands.

Does it mean that everyone who shares the same mannerisms as Stolas and preference of book and knowledge is also neurodivergent?

I mean no offense, I genuinely would just like to know how you came upon that observation. Thank you :) Hope to be enlightened with a different perspective.

Hey! Thank you for the message! It's no problem at all! ^^

Ok, so, before I start explaining my reasonings, I want to be clear and say that Stolas being autistic is a headcanon: there's no official source that says he is, and it's mostly a thought supported by some canon elements I've seen in the show, and it makes me happy, considering I'm neurodivergent and have been noted I have some autistic traits.

Having said that, I want to explain what led me to this headcanon.

Autistic people often fidget, or stim, when they feel certain emotions, like being happy or agitated. It's a way to help the person release tension or energy by making repeated movements.

I've seen Stolas has made several movements when idle or happy: when he's seated he often moves his leg.

When on his phone his body, especially his hands, is always moving. When he talks with Blitzo on the phone, he's especially happy, and thus he plays with the cord, scratches around or moves around.

And, as seen in the last two episodes so far, when he's especially excited, he hops.

These are all actions that are rather frequent, coming from him. And stimming is usually an indicator that someone is on the spectrum.

As are raptor hands: from what I've read is a way of keeping your hands close to you chest, as if you were a raptor. It's a trait that's especially noticeable in people who are confirmed as neurodivergent, and Stolas has done this pose fairly often.

Infodumping is basically sharing everything you know about something you're especially passionate about.

Putting his finger up as he explaining something...

...and generally keeping his arms inward when he walks or feels happy...

...are recurring movements I've noticed in him.

Also: the first he does when Blitzo comes to his home, when they're children, is showing all his books and infodumping everything he knows about plants; he's especially sad when Blitzo states that books and plants are boring.

People in the spectrum have special interests, or hyperfixations, in which they're extremely knowledgable about, and it's especially good sharing that passion with others. More often than not tho' that interest is so specific, or the info is just so complex and detailed, that others struggle in following along, or are bored by it all.

Stolas loves herbology and is an expert in astronomy: there's plants everywhere and his palace has a star aesthetic. Even on Instagram he often shares what he knows about space or flowers. It's also suggested he read a lot, when he was a child. The fact that he knew so much about herbology and animals at such a young age, and got sad that he wasn't able to share what he knew, is a struggle that many autistic people often face.

And finally, his struggle with relationships.

Stolas has no friends, and has little to no experience with bonding with people. Especially because his biggest problem is reading the room or realize that what he feels is usually not what the other feels, especially when he gets really caught up in something that brings him joy.

Stolas is compassionate, but his struggle to aknowledge Blitzo's distress over their relationship, or Octavia's fear of losing him, have caused a good deal of trouble for everyone involved. When Stolas realizes this distress, he's very quick to apologize and fix himself, but it's not an automatic response for him, it usually requires someone else to point things out to him.

Some people in the spectrum struggle with this, being able to read the other's emotions. It's not a case of lack of empathy or such: it's just that emotions are hard to read, especially if they're from someone else. And considering Stolas doesn't seem like he's had much experience with bonding even after meeting Blitzo for the first time, this wouldn't surprise me.

Emotions on his own are an interesting point about him: I sense the reason why he gets excited so easily is also a result of his status that imposed him to be as cool headed as possible, and often numbed himself down with drinks. Now that he's starting to find himself again, he gets giddy for any new opportunity as a way to make up for all the lost time. As someone who is neurodivergent and has been emotionally guarded for so long when she was young, I often do the same as him: reacting with glee and amazement even at the smallest new stuff I see, even if at my age such a behaviour could be considered childish.

And, not to mention his love for soap operas: he even ends up looking like the main character of his favorite Hellanovela by putting some white on his hair. It seems he enjoys replaying what he sees on his favorite shows and stories: as far as I'm aware, roleplaying or relating to fictional situations and characters is something that feels very good when you're in the spectrum.

And, I dunno, I think I said everything I had to say. I've stated everything I've managed to find, going off with what I know about the matter and how I personally experience as a neurodivergent person.

Again, not everyone in the spectrum acts the same way, no one acts more autistic than another. It simply means that many have different experiences with autism. And while there's no confirmation on whether or not Stolas is autistic, there's IS enough evidence that he's neurodivergent, considering his many quirks.

I'm sorry this got so long, I guess I'm really passionate about how Stolas is written and, as neurodivergent myself, maybe I do see something about myself in him. Maybe that's why I headcanon him as neurodivergent. But it still makes me happy that some fans headcanon him as autistic as well, so maybe everything I've said does hold some water. It feels validating, you know?

...sorry, I'm rambling, I'm starting to feel rather sleepy. ^^

I hope all of this answered your questions. Thank you once again for inquiring me about my post: it allowed me to further explore one of my favorite characters ever.

Wish you many good things. ^^

#Answered Ask #Vivziepop #Helluva Boss #Stolas #Stolas Goetia #Prince Stolas #Helluva Boss Stolas #Fave Character #Autism #Autistic Headcanons #Personal Rambles

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agirlunderarock · 2 years

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Long over due character ask

@azorell You sent me a character ask like a long time ago, and I thought I had it saved in my drafts but apparently when I moved to answer the question tonight and saved in drafts on mobile, Tumblr decided to eat the whole thing. But I had my notes so I know you asked about Bilbo, because you know I could ramble about Boromir forever, and I’m finally going to get to answer that, because you are absolutely right I can ramble about Bilbo forever too!

Its just taken me a while to answer this because of course my hyperfixation is on star wars right now and I just never log into tumblr on my desktop- BUT THAT ENDS TODAY!!

What I've come to realize recently, is that I love and adore Boromir, he's a fascinating character, he's not one that brings me a lot of comfort. In the narrative of lord of the rings he makes me happy, but he also stresses me out in that I start viewing the other characters from his perspective and-

We're getting off track

So second of all

Bilbo Baggins though 😏 there's a little lad I haven't raved about

First impression: So my introduction to the lord of the rings came when I was 9 and lacked a lot of big brain critical thinking skills to recognize Bilbo as anything other than Frodo's weird uncle who sometimes looks like a demon, and has instilled the fear of getting old in little me. Honestly I can't say I had much of an opinion on him aside from that.

Impression now: Let me just say, after having read, watched, and written fanfiction for the Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins is by far one of my FAVORITE characters. Does he bring me a whole lot of comfort? Sometimes. Like if I grow up (I say this like I'm not in my mid twenties) to be someone's eccentric aunt with piles of books and unfinished manuscripts laying around my house while I learn to make my own wine and throw elaborate parties just to vanish before I have to clean up, then I might end up decently satisfied late in life. I don't know, Bilbo is an interesting character to me. He's written to represent the "proper" English Boys who went off to fight in WWI and then come back to a completely different life. I mean Frodo does it do a lot more drastically than Bilbo, but I think Bilbo is a fun character to look at for a model when trying to get a hold on character development. Like reading, and even watching the Hobbit, you can see each chapter he's learning something and growing in some way from the previous one.

Favorite moment: Clearly his birthday left an impression on me lol but honestly my favorite scene in the books and the movies, is when he comes home and is standing in his freshly ransacked house. That scene just hits so hard, and is the true reminder that, even though you’re back home, you’re back where you started, you’re never truly the same person, and home is never going to feel quite the same. In the movie the color difference between the opening shot of Baggend is so bright, and we see light coming in through the windows, and just that center frame of him in the door way hits so hard. I think the first time I saw the movie- like I cried through the whole thing- I started my last round of crying when he’s just standing in the doorway. Its like getting closure but its not the kind that makes you feel whole. Its the same feeling I had when I graduated high school and university, and nothing but that scene ever seemed to really capture that feeling for me.

Idea for a story: Now am I going to be the one to write this? No. But I would absolutely read the heck out of Bilbo doing the actual planning for his party or even one of him having to get all hist stuff back from his neighbors. Mundane maybe, but I feel like you could have so much fun with it in making up so many different Hobbit ocs as Bilbo tries to gather up his things and re furnish his house. Also though if you add any of the weight from the afore mentioned scene to the story, I’ll probably cry and thats always a win.

Unpopular Opinion: I don’t know if its unpopular or not, but I do know a lot of the fandom says Bilbo is gay, I’m a personal fan of him being asexual/aromantic. I feel like both work, but my personal interpretation is aroace. And I have this listed as an unpopular opinion just because I know people used to get really defensive about the shipping and stuff, and like even today, people start acting like clowns when you say a character is ace or aro instead of gay. So unfortunately this goes under unpopular opinions. Like to each your own, engage in fandom how you want my dudes, I know how to curate my dash, ya know? So maybe its not so unpopular anymore, I hope its not, I’d like to see more aroace characters that are more dynamic and fun and sweet and charming.

Favorite Relationship: In the book it was Bilbo and Balin. I loved their friendship so much, they just stuck together for most of the journey. I like to imagine they had tea or beers together if not both. Bilbo is the type who’s eager to learn and Balin is more than happy to tell him what he wants to know- this happens a bit in the movies too. From the movies specifically though Bilbo and Bofur were my absolute favorite! Like Bofur is always asking for and looking out for Bilbo through the journey, and then in Lake Town, Bilbo is looking for him. They’re chaotic + responsible friends and I love that for them. I love that in the Extended Edition of Battle of the Five Armies, Bofur is the one who sees/catches Bilbo leaving Erebor and that whole conversation is lovely and tells us so much about what the dwarves think of the situation.

Favorite Headcanon: I actually don’t have many headcanons for Bilbo, again the only one being that he’s aroace. There are just so many other people who have actually really good headcanons about him and the other hobbits. My interest was more in the dwarves, specifically Thorin’s brother and sister who of course are never mentioned by name in the movies I could wait and look to see out of the people I follow who has given my favorite headcanon, but like then I won’t publish this for another four months and its been waiting in my ask box long enough

Once again though thanks for the ask! Next time I promise not lose it!

If anyone else would like to send in a character the ask list is here and my ask box is always open!

#character asks #ask game #One day I'll answer these on time #Bilbo Baggins #Boromir #Lotr characters

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raevenlywrites · 3 years

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Okay, so. The point I wanted to make earlier was something like this:

TL;DR: Not knowing that hyperfixations were a thing hurt me, and cost me not only enjoyment of a thing, but more serious social and emotional growth potential. More kids need access to a broader range of what Normal is, and Normal needs to be opened up and expanded to include things that are perfectly harmless because the harm of excluding those things is immeasurable.

(Did I just put a tldr at the START of my post? why yes I did. why? because i’m about to drop this entire damned ESSAY under a read more because it’s dash destroying (think of it as an abstract on a scientific paper) ... (no, it is nothing like an abstract on a scientific paper. wtf did I say that) ... (anyways))

(Can you tell its an ADHD night? are there enough parenthetical asides in this yet?)

...

(no)

ANYWAYS

When I was a teen, I read a book called In The Forests Of The Night. I’m sure you’ve heard me mention it before, but believe it or not, it was only TONIGHT that it occurred to me that this book and its fellows is my hyperfixation. Because, for the first TWO THIRDS OF MY LIFE, I didn’t know to think of myself as someone with hyperfixations. Hell, I didn’t even know what a hyperfixation was. I am one of the countless adults who has self diagnosed as ADHD or autistic or SOMETHING, and this is the story of how not having a diagnosis growing up hurt me.

So. I read this book. My now-wife-then-unbeknownst-crush gave it to me as part of our ignorant teen courtship. You’ll like this, she said, trying to share an interest with me in order to bond. Thank you, I said, not knowing I wanted to smooch her face. Unimportant, but I like reminding myself when I look at back my teen years how queer I already was without knowing. And this story is mostly for my benefit of getting it off my chest, so smoochy thoughts included.

So I read this book. It’s short, 200 pages or so, and if I’m honest with myself as an informed adult, nothing spectacular. It’s not bad, but its not ground breaking. None of the books are. But they broke new ground in Me, and what grew out of them has literally shaped the course of my entire personality.

Raev, I hear you say, it’s not great to base your entire personality on a bit of pop culture.

Shut up, I said, I’m telling this story and anyways insert-edgy-media-here dudebros have been doing it forever. Anyways.

So I read this book. I read it again, and again. I read all the books that went with it, but I stayed especially hung up on Forests. Why? Partially because it was the first one I read. Partially because the MC and I share a name, and therefore in my little teen head a connection. It was the first time “Rachel” felt like an identity, instead of just an identifier, and one that way too many of my classmates shared. Rachel was a badass, stifled by her Christian upbringing and the expectations of the day on women. I was a badass, stifled by my Christian upbringing and the expectations of the day on women. Rachel became a vampire, spiteful and spitfire the entire way. She did it on her own terms (so my teen reading of the text went), spurning every attempt of her kind to show her the ways of the vampire. She had a nemesis, a clear, concrete reason for her pain, and took charge of that pain and overcame it to be a complete and utter badass by the end of the book (again, so my teen reading went. Part of the problem here was my teenness. Part of it was my neurodivergence, which I will get to (you didn’t think this would be a SHORT story, did you? I warned you I have ADHD and that this was my hyperfixation; how did you think this was gonna go?))

So I identified heavily with the protag, and with its shocking author. This lifechanging book was written by a teen, like me! Holy cats, I said to myself, why, if she can do it, so can I! I had just started writing my own first novel (a shameless retelling of Star Wars, hyperfixation of my grade school years), and immediately trashed it to write my own vampire thing. Because vampires were clearly IT and I was gonna be a cool badass author hero, just like the MC of the second book.

Then the shapeshifter books came out, and so did I.

It’s really unrelated, but that was a fun transition, and as previously stated, author-type. Anyways.

So I came out to my girlcrush, angsted about that a lot, and continued to gobble up the books. Did you know there’s a website, she said. There’s like a whole fan community and everything.

Now, part of the problem here was being part of the first generation on the internet. It was relatively new, and so stranger danger and not being entirely comfortable on the internet and all that had its part to play. But this is also where the hyperfixation finally comes into play.

I liked Nyeusigrube A LOT. A lot a lot. So much so that I made my own conlang, my own mythos, my own entire story universe patterned after this one but not exactly this one. For whatever reason, it never occurred to me to self-insert, just to shamelessly copy. That one I can’t explain, but this one I can now understand through the lens of an adult.

Nyeusigrube was my especially special interest, and I had no idea that was a normal, healthy thing.

So tangled up in all this was my raised-too-conservative freak out about being Not Straight. I had finally figured out I liked girlfriend, if not that I was incredibly bisexual yet, and that was a Big Deal. Super cool author I hero-worshiped was one of those “Do I want to BE her or just want her?” kind of idolations, but again, didn’t know that at the time either. So these two very normal things that I knew NOTHING about were getting tangled together in a rat king of Issues with a generous slathering of Shame glue to hold them all together. Add to it the paranoia/RSD/general not-great-at-social sides of my neurodivergence, and basically I had decided I was Too Weird and liked this book Too Much and if I so much as LOOKED at the websites/forums/etc, everyone would know and that would be Bad.

Did I have a clear idea of how that would look? Not really? I didn’t need to. Just the thought of checking out the fansites was enough to send me into a panicking guilt/shame spiral about how much I enjoyed the books. Everyone will KNOW, I thought, and it will be BAD. The End. It was Not Normal how much I liked the books and I will freak everyone out.

So.

If I had just KNOWN that hyperfixations were a thing, I might have still felt weird, but I don’t think I would have AGONIZED (and I do mean fucking AGONIZED) over how shockingly Not Normal my level of interest went. I might have still felt bad, because I didn’t have a diagnosis, and therefore probably wouldn’t have given myself permission of admit I had a hyperfixation, but at least I wouldn’t have wallowed in ignorance. Now, if I’d had the knowledge and the diagnosis, I probably would have still been too shy to interact, but I wouldnt’ have wasted hours of my life in panicked/guilt/shame spirals. If I’d have a diagnosis and a support group? If I’d had a diagnosis and been raised with the normalization of being queer? If I’d had medication, role models, a safe place to open up and communicate, so on and so on? Like, you get the idea, right?

I consider myself immeasurably lucky that my love of writing and vampires and high school girlfriend survived all this. (My equally intense boy crush of the time did not (not because I don’t like boys but because I fell down another hyperfixation spiral and no PERSON should ever be subjected to that but I digress)). As I said, this is my especially special hyperfixation. I can’t imagine how many hours of enjoyment I might have gotten out of the forums, the fan arts, the roleplaying groups, the FRIENDSHIPS, my gods, can you imagine the friendships? Anyways, what I’m really saying is that it caused me real emotional Pain and Trauma, thinking something was Wrong with me for my level of interest. A lot of people have regrets about like not trying out for the team or not asking so and so out or whatever, but mine is a stupid fansite. I have deep and palpable regrets about letting my fear and shame keep me from something so harmless and silly, and as I said before I don’t think I have a concise or tidy ending, but this was what I wanted to say on the matter so there it is.

TL;DR: (hey, didn’t you already post this part? Yes, yes I did. I’m doing it again, but this time its the In Conclusion bit instead of the summary bit) ...(abstract. they’re called abstracts)...(this is still FAR from a scientific paper) (ANYWAYS) Not knowing that hyperfixations were a thing hurt me, and cost me not only enjoyment of a thing, but more serious social and emotional growth potential. I was stunted and harmed by this lack of education, and I guess my point is I hope no one else has to go through that. If my stupid little story can fix a thing, I want it to be that. More kids needs access to a broader range of what Normal is, and Normal needs to be opened up and expanded to include things that are perfectly harmless because the harm of excluding those things is immeasurable. Thank you for coming to my TED talk

#raev rambles

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ca1e70-deactivated · 4 years

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a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years.

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid.

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best.

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever.

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment)

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair.

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going.

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

#theres probably so many more i mean #ive been on parp for at least 5-6 years now #ive been on cherubplay probably the same amount of time #and my memory is totally shot to fuck but these are just what i know ive done in the last YEAR #or thought were wild enough to remember #i put it under a read more bc frankly its really fucking long #and i dont want this to represent me entirely #these are also heavily situational based and not like. emotion or reaction based much?#some of them are #i guess i could rename this to like. things ive done on parp #but theyre technically still headcanons a lot of them can coincide with whatever #so theyre not very specific situations #anyways #this took me an hour

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liberatingflame · 6 years

Note

1-169, asshole

lol i love you

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

like 6′ would be perfect

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

uh. dragon? dragon.

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

anything that you look at and you can’t decide if it’s jock or goth

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

spyro was the only series i was allowed to play and i lived for it

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

whatever i’m hyperfixated on that month, sleep, and ciaran

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

warning: nearly pure taurus energy, scorpio ascending

7: What is your opinion on alpacas?

they’re fluffy and better than llamas

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

melancholic is what i just got, but it switches between that and sanguine all the time

9: Are you ticklish?

yes.

10: Are you allergic to anything?

am i not allergic to anything?

11: What’s your sexuality?

pan

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

cocoa or tea, just never coffee

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

cat

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

merperson hands fucking down

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

bazza or muselk probably

16: How tall are you?

5′6ish

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

uh. well. you see. it’s jay.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

lmao no

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

yes, i do

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

i’m a “look at those stars” kind of person, but my room growing up was painted like it was underwater, so. both.

21: Are you religious?

lmao

22: Pet peeves?

harley licking my things

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

i’d rather be diurnal because, uh, functioning human. i am nocturnal though.

24: Favorite constellation?

dickbutt

25: Favorite star?

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

i don’t like dolls, but those are the cutest

27: Any phobias or fears?

sure

28: Do you think global warming is real?

look outside right now and tell me it’s not

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

yeah, there have been enough instances of actual cases that it’s pretty hard for me to personally deny, so

30: Favorite movie?

it cycles, i still love heathers tho

31: Do you get scared easily?

kind of? not really?

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

not counting fish and including harley, 7

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

valid to eat fingers

34: What is a color that calms you?

blue and certain shades of red

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

i’m really liking washington?? i’d like to travel anywhere

36: Where were you born?

sanford, florida. hrugh.

37: What is your eye color?

blue-green

38: Introvert or extrovert?

extroverted introvert?

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

it gets spooky sometimes, but like. not on a basic level for sure.

40: Hugs or kisses?

depends

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

ngl, my sisters

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

everyone i love? uh

43: Any piercings you want?

re-pierce my cartilage and get a few more lobe piercings and just like stab me and put something in it and i’ll love it

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

yes.

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?

i’ve smoked weed, but like. eh. cigarettes are gross, they smell and feel and taste awful.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

i don’t have a crush on anyone lol

47: What is a sound you really hate?

ticking

48: A sound you really love?

trains really late at night.

49: Can you do a backflip?

50: Can you do the splits?

the splits? no

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

winona ryder

52: Favorite movie?

uh h hh h i already answered this

53: How are you feeling right now?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

i just dyed it but i really want it to be red again. it was like a sunset red for a while during the fading process and i’d kill for that all the time.

55: When did you feel happiest?

when a cat touched me with her tiny feet

56: Something that calms you down?

cats and their tiny feet

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

58: What does your URL mean?

it’s based on something i said when i was not myself. i said i’d died before and i’d do it again. so i’m functionally immortal.

59: What three words describe you the most?

really fucking tired

60: Do you believe in evolution?

it’s. science.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

a lot. i’m not above doing things for petty reasons.

62: What makes you follow a blog?

being interested in what they post??

63: Favorite kind of person:

64: Favorite animal(s):

cats, snakes, birds

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

@heathersadapt, @heatherspoisson, @dirtyheathersconfessions

66: Favorite emoticon:

:}€

67: Favorite meme:

horse memes. like. valid to eat fingers.

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

infp

69: What is your star sign:

taurus

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

lmao no

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

my work clothes or my pajamas

72: Post a selfie or two?

73: Do you have platform shoes?

GOD I WISH

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

i’m the bird friend

75: Can you do a front flip?

76: Do you like birds?

i love birds

77: Do you like to swim?

of course i do

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

swimming

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

do you want to see my blacklist or something

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

fire magic. i wish fire magic were real.

81: Piercings you have?

just ears at the moment, cartilage closed up lmao

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

sleeping, eating ice cream, listening to music. pick from my faves.

83: Favorite person to talk to:

ciaran??

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

god it sucks here

85: How many followers do you have?

222 and only 111 of them are spam

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

in middle school, which was the last time i tried, i ran a mile in 6 minutes and 46 seconds

87: Do your socks always match?

fuck no that’s hard

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

yes

89: What are your birthstones?

diamond? stones?

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

a cockatoo probably

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

i don’t fucking know

92: A store you hate?

walmart and the ones that smell bad in the mall

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

many, but i hate coffee so i drink none

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

fly, i don’t want to know what’s going through anyone else’s mind

95: Do you like to wear camo?

no. i did in elementary school.

96: Winter or summer?

winter

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

long enough to cross the bridge in spirited away

98: Least favorite person?

it’s all family all the way

99: Someone you look up to:

myself

100: A store you love?

target, lush

101: Favorite type of shoes

boots!! boots!!!! i also like sneakers

102: Where do you live?

outside of seattle

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

no i like meat

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

uhhhh opals are the most diverse and coolest?

105: Do you drink milk?

106: Do you like bugs?

107: Do you like spiders?

108: Something you get paranoid about?

hhhh

109: Can you draw:

yes, but is it good? absolutely not

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

this one

111: A question you hate being asked?

this one

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

i lived in florida. yes.

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

i love them

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

cloudy, i moved to washington for a reason

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

i’m comfortable right now actually

116: Favorite cloud type:

the kind in the sky

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

i wish i caught the sunset today

118: Do you have freckles?

no :(

119: Favorite thing about a person:

varies person to person

120: Fruits or vegetables?

i’m allergic to most fruits i like, but i like them more than vegetables anyways, so.

121: Something you want to do right now:

sleep or play bbs

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

they’re both gorgeous, fuck off

123: Sweet or sour foods?

depends on the mood

124: Bright or dim lights?

dim, mostly

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

me, i believe in me

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

tumblr

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

friends

128: What do you think about the least?

i don’t think about it, i don’t know

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

believe it

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

i have a list

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

not normally, no

133: Computer or TV?

computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

yes

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

only sometimes

136: Are your ears lobed or attached

attached

137: Do you believe in karma?

no, bad people don’t always get what’s coming to them and it sucks

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

like 5?

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

hate nicknames

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

nah

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

yeah, she sucked

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

it depends on the person???? i’m both

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

both are good!

144: What makes you angry

family

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

none, i can’t speak

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

yes

147: Are you androgynous?

god i wish, my boobs are too big

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

my hair is so fucking fluffy

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

i don’t have one

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

ciaran, i’m good.

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

BT: before trump

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

no, but i’m on it all the time.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

i met my partner in being broke in high school

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

156: What embarrasses you?

i just told ciaran i wore camo in elementary school and that’s embarrassing

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

anxiety

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

idk i don’t keep track

159: How many people are you following?

451

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

14199

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

4190

163: Last time you cried and why:

i dont remember

164: Do you have long or short hair?

mid length

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

to my butt

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

i was raised roman catholic by overbearing adults with racist views so im not friends w religion anymore

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

sometimes

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

#lunatroph

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suteshiro · 5 years

Note

1-30 truths and 1-30 dares. ;3c

I don’t think that’s how that ask meme was supposed to work kfjvskjfv

1: (truth) Who was your first major celebrity crush? (dare) Put your music player on shuffle and post the first five songs.

Truth: Uuuh I don’t think I’ve had any celebrity crushes really?? And if I have I don’t believe I could tell you who the first one was

Dare:

-Our lady of the underground (Hadestown)

-Take me to church (Hozier)

-You spin me round (Like a record) (Ninja Sex Party cover)

-Miss Jackson (Panic! at the disco)

-Looking like this (Lyre Le Temps)

2: (truth) What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you in the past week? (dare) Refresh your dashboard and send an anonymous compliment to the person who posted whatever’s at the top of your dash.

Truth: I don’t have that much memory, pal

Dare: done!

3: (truth) What are your three favorite things about your appearance? (dare) List all nine of your tumblr crushes, and describe each blog/blogger in one word.

Truth: uuuh,,,

I think my hair looks really nice when I am able to care for it,, I also like my eyes. They’re nice. I’m very Fuzzy I like that too

Dare: I’ll be honest I looked at my tumblr crush list and didn’t recognize many of them so uuh nah

4: (truth) What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? (dare) Post the oldest selfie on your camera roll.

Truth: @gaysaiyaman called me “a literal fairy of a person” once

Dare: I’m not on mobile so nah

5: (truth) If your parents knew everything you’ve ever done, what would they think is the worst thing? (dare) Tag the three nonmutuals you admire most.

Truth: I don’t wanna think about that,,

Dare: uuuh @biteghostblogs @tiarasnteakettles I can’t think of anyone else..

6: (truth) What is the last thing you purchased? (dare) Tag three people you’ve thirst followed.

Truth: Really nice pens!!!! I love them!!!!!!!

Dare: I’ve never thirst followed anyone skjvnskvf

7: (truth) How many hours did you sleep last night? (dare) Send an anonymous compliment to the last person who followed you.

Truth: Like 6?

Dare: done

8: (truth) If you could go on a date with any of your mutuals, who would it be and what would you do? (dare) Send an anonymous compliment to one of your four “Biggest Fans” on tumblr.

Truth: I don’t wanna answer that

Dare: done

9: (truth) How did you meet your best friend? (dare) Refresh your dashboard. Open the blog of the person who posted whatever’s at the top of your dash. Reblog their most recent selfie.

Truth: @feycreature messaged me bc I’d reblogged pictures of his ocs and he was like “oh wow”

Dare: she doesn’t have a selfie tag so f

10: (truth) What was your favorite band five years ago? (dare) Tag a blog that posts very different content from yours, but that you couldn’t imagine not following.

Truth: Bold of you to assume I know who I was five years ago?? Let’s say Evanescence

Dare: @araeph

11: (truth) Where did you get each article of clothing you’re wearing right now? (dare) Pick up the closest book to you. Turn to page 39 and copy down line 7.

Truth: Literally all of them were gifts

Dare: “I must don my floppy ears and become their queen again”

12: (truth) What are your five favorite girls’ names and five favorite boys’ names? (dare) Copy and paste the 14th line of text from the last document you worked on in Word or Google Drive.

Truth: Aurora, Lucina, Minerva, María, Magnolia - Dante, Apollo, Ariel, Sirius, Cygnus

Dare: “Does he know what he did?”

13: (truth) What’s your most irrational fear? (dare) Tag five mutuals who take amazing selfies.

Truth: I don’t feel like saying

Dare: only one that comes to mind is @masayoshihazama. very nice selfies

14: (truth) If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life (consisting of clothes you already own), what would it be? (dare) Tag someone you follow who has amazing fashion sense.

Truth: dress pants. guns ‘n roses tshirt. plaid shirt on top. black shoes. hell ya

Dare: @zuramaru has rlly nice taste

15: (truth) If you could rock any unusual article of clothing/makeup technique/hairstyle, what would it be? (dare) Go to the blog of the last person you reblogged a text post from. Reblog your favorite of their selfies.

Truth: lots of lacy stuff,,,,,, those shirts that are almost transparent except for beautiful patterns that seem to just be hugging the skin,,,, really sexy

Dare: nah

16: (truth) What is your dream job? (dare) Post the four most recent pictures in your camera roll.

Truth: Writer,

Dare: Not on my phone

17: (truth) Where is the last place you went that took over two hours to get to? (dare) Post screenshots of your phone’s lock screen and home screen.

Truth: my familys place,,,,,, terrible

Dare:

im maybe a little in love

18: (truth) How old were you when you had your first kiss? If you haven’t had it yet, how old do you want to be? (dare) Go to the last app/tab you opened. Post a screenshot.

Truth: i haven’t yet, and uuuh. part of me wants to be kissed Right Now, part of me isnt particularly interested

Dare:

Pressed enter a bunch until everything looked blank bc thats Spoilery Writing but ya i was writing a thing for a character

19: (truth) What is the first thing you remember having to keep secret? (dare) Tag five bloggers who you associate with being obsessed with something particular, and list what each of them is obsessed with.

Truth: I don’t remember Shit

Dare: @gaysaiyaman keeps putting 10 posts in a row in my dash of whatever the interest of the Moment is and @the-carmevore and i are Same Hyperfixation mood with a campaign we’re in

20: (truth) What does your bedroom look like? (dare) Take one selfie and post it. You only get one shot! (No old selfies or retrying, even if you think you look bad)

Truth: It’s a bit messy ngl,,

Dare: Nah

21: (truth) What three fictional characters would you most like to meet? (dare) Write your name down on a piece of paper and draw a quick picture of yourself. Take a photo of it and post it.

Truth: all I can think about rn is my oc Ruby

Dare: Not feeling up to anything with pictures bc that implies phone usage

22: (truth) What are three things you’re looking forward to? (dare) Tag the last three people you reblogged posts from, and estimate how many followers they have.

Truth: I’m not feeling really like looking forward to anything rn,, got really depressed all of a sudden

Dare: nah

23: (truth) What are your three biggest turn ons, and your three biggest turn offs? (dare) Put your music player on shuffle. Without actually listening to it, write the lyrics to the chorus of the first song.

Truth: I don’t feel like giving too much information to unsuspecting people but like if ur curious and wanna dm me or ask privately im not a secretive person

Dare: “Freeze your brain / Swim in the ice, get lost in the pain / Happiness comes when everything numbs / Who needs cocaine? / Freeze your brain”

24: (truth) If you could only own five material objects (not counting life necessities like food/water/a house/etc) what would they be? (dare) Put your music player on shuffle. Post what the first three songs are, and for each one, tag a blog that the song reminds you of.

Truth: Computer, phone, im gonna put stationery all in one category, controller, ps4

Dare: Nah

25: (truth) What is the last thing you lied about? (dare) Tag three people you want to know better and ask them each three questions about themselves.

Truth: I don’t wanna talk about that!

Dare: nah

26: (truth) What’s the last movie you watched? (dare) Reblog the most recent of your own selfies posted on tumblr, and in the tags say two things you like about your appearance in it?

Truth: I watched like 40 minutes of The Godfather. before that I think I watched Inside Out

Dare: nah

27: (truth) What are three things you like about yourself unrelated to your appearance? (dare) Post a picture from your camera roll that you’ve been meaning to post on tumblr.

Truth: I like that I actively try to be nice,,, I like my voice,,, I uh. like that ive kept myself alive?

Dare: see above in relation to Camera Roll im a lazy bastard

28: (truth) How do you take your coffee? (dare) Post the last picture you posted on a social media platform other than tumblr.

Truth: probably cold, definitely sweetened to death, but i never take coffee by itself honestly

Dare: nah

29: (truth) What are your worst habits? (dare) Put your Top 25 Most Played songs on shuffle and list the first five.

Truth: not a habit by itself but rather my inability to form positive habits and try to take control of my life and do the things i wanna do,, ya

30: (truth) What is the last thing you did that you have to keep secret from someone? Who do you have to keep it secret from? (dare) Tag five blogs with great URLs.

Truth: I’m keeping a Bunch of secrets bc dnd. mostly from @the-carmevore bc Sovereign Stars,, Control

Dare: @vampfucker666 @masayoshihazama @feycreature uuuuh ill leave that there

#the crow speaks #Anonymous

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