#the doctor's always been a sentimental idiot where river's concerned | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

riversofmars · 3 years

Note

I must offer you a prompt: River finding the Doctor asleep in a chair somewhere in the TARDIS

Thank you for the lovely prompt! It turned out a bit more emotional than planned... hope you didn’t need your heart anymore :’)

Rating: G

Gerne: angst, hurt/comfort

Word count: 1850

Read below or on AO3

Rest

“You sentimental idiot, you just couldn’t stay away could you.“ River stepped into the TARDIS and stopped in the doorway, surprised. The TARDIS had changed its appearance from when she had last seen it. Gone were the steel, the books cases, the walkways, the “round things“, as the Doctor liked to call them… Instead, large arms of crystal surrounded the console, giving off a warm yellow light.

“A new face then?“ River mused with a smirk and the TARDIS hummed in greeting and confirmation. “Honey, I’m home!“ She called out but there was no answer. Slowly, River made her way up to the console and pressed her hand to the crystal. “Nice to see you, too. Where is he then?“ The TARDIS hummed in response and River raised her eyebrows.

“Is that so?“ She grinned in excitement. “Now, I can’t wait to see that!“ The TARDIS wheezed again and River smiled. “To the study it is then.“

River crossed the console room and headed further into the TARDIS. The corridors hadn’t changed much and she found her way quite easily.

“Doctor?“ She knocked on the door of the study, announcing herself. The rest of the TARDIS was dead quiet. River frowned when she didn’t get a response and pushed the door open slowly. The first thing she noticed was the mess, books, photos, notes, all sorts of items, were spread out across the floor. She followed the trail of chaos with her eyes and finally spotted the Doctor behind the desk. She was fast asleep in the big leather chair. River smile softly and walked inside the room, careful not to tread on anything.

It was a change for sure. Milky skin, blonde hair, petite frame… River took a moment just to look at her. Her wife. What struck River more than the change of gender, however, was the fact that although she appeared younger than her previous body, she looked incredibly worn out and tired. There were dark shadows under her eyes and her pretty face was drawn into a deep frown. What had happened to her? And where was everyone else? She had not known the Doctor to travel alone and she had always advised them against it.

River crouched down to have a closer look at the things spread across the floor. She noticed the pictures first. Photos of all of the Doctor’s previous faces. Diary entries. Newspaper clippings. Database print offs. Books upon books from all sorts of planets and civilisations, passages highlighted. River picked up a few of them and every passage she read referred to the Doctor, some by name, some by description, some by only mentioning a mysterious traveller in a blue box. They were records of a life. The Doctor’s life. The many passages of it, spread all across time and space…

The Doctor mumbled unintelligibly in her sleep and River put the books down and looked back over to her. She looked uneasy, though she was fast asleep, her eyes flitting behind close eyelids, she was most likely dreaming. River frowned when the Doctor groaned, shifting positions, clearly uncomfortable.

It was rare to see the Doctor asleep at all. Even when they had stayed together on Darillium, the Doctor rarely slept. He had always insisted he didn’t need as much sleep as humans did but River had always known that there was more to it. It was about the dreams that came when he had least expected them. Of the people he couldn’t save. Of the destruction he had seen. The suffering. His own failures. Everything he had been through throughout the course of his many lives. It had taken a toll and when he was awake and busy, he wouldn’t think of it, but when he did finally close his eyes, the nightmares came more often than not. In their twenty-four years together, things had gotten better. By the end, they would go to sleep together and River would hold the Doctor and they would both sleep, much better than either of them had in all their lives.

Looking at the Doctor now, River's heart sank. What had happened to them since Darillium? For River, it hadn’t been long at all, she had only just gotten back to Luna University after twenty-four years of bliss, but for the Doctor… she looked so much older, so worn out and tired. Something had happened to her.

River made her way over to her wife.

“No, don’t do it…“ The Doctor mumbled uneasily and River paused for a moment. Should she wake her? She clearly needed to rest, it looked as if she had been working on something until her body had finally given in to its exhaustion… but it wasn’t exactly a restful sleep, was it?

“Sweetie?“ River said softly and gently moved the chair around.

“No, please.“ The Doctor whimpered. “Help…“

“It’s okay, I’m here, Sweetie.“ River felt her hearts break. There was a sort of desperation in her wife’s voice that she had never heard before. Maybe she would be able to rest more easily in her bed, away from all this.

River glanced to the papers on the desk. Hand-drawn diagrams, timelines… the Doctor’s own timeline… interrupted by large gaps and voids, question marks and barely legible notes and theories… River shook her head to herself. The Doctor would have to tell her when she was ready, there was no point in theorising what this was about. She turned away from the notes and back to her wife who was whimpering in her sleep.

Carefully, River wrapped her arms around her and scooped her up into her arms. She was light enough and easy to carry.

“It’s alright, Sweetie, it’ll be fine.“ River whispered and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head that was now resting against her chest. The Doctor gave a sigh in her sleep and River felt a bit better as she seemed to relax a little in her arms. “Let’s get you to bed, Darling.“ River hummed as she carried her across the messy floor, away from the obvious source of her discomfort.

The TARDIS hummed in approval around them as River carried the Doctor to her bedroom.

“You came here on purpose, didn’t you?“ River whispered and the space time machine hummed again in confirmation. The Doctor was in a bad place and she needed her wife.

“Here we are…“ In no time at all, River pushed open the door to her wife’s bedroom. It was just as messy as the study but in a more comforting way. There were photo albums spread across the floor. Smiling pictures of the Doctor’s many friends and travel companions looking up at them. River carried her to the bed and stalled for a moment. One half of the bed was covered in pictures too and she had to fight hard to keep her composure. They were all pictures of River herself. Some with, some without the Doctor, covering the side of the bed that she always used to sleep on when she had stayed in the TARDIS.

Gently, she placed the Doctor on the bed and then leaned over to have a closer look at the pictures. Half of them, she had never even seen before or had been aware of them being taken. There were newspaper clippings too, from scientific journals she had published in and such. River felt tears welling up in her eyes, getting a sense of the Doctor’s loneliness.

“River…?“ River snapped out of her thoughts when the Doctor mumbled her name. She looked down and met her glance of sleepy confusion.

“Yes, Sweetie, I’m here.“ River replied softly and sat on the side of the bed brushing her wife’s hair out of her face as she slowly came round.

“You’re not really here, are you?“ The sadness and disbelief in the Doctor’s eyes made River’s hearts break all over again.

“I’m really here.“ She reassured her and reached for her hand. “The TARDIS turned up… I thought you’d come to wave me off… or to steel me away for another adventure before I go… but I found you fast asleep.“ She explained.

“You’re alive?“ The Doctor mumbled and River chuckled.

“Of course I am, silly.“ River bopped her nose. “But you don’t exactly look well… what happened?“ She asked, her voice full of concern. She gave her hand a squeeze.

“I…“ The Doctor couldn’t find words. How was she going to explain what she had been through since they’d last met? How was she going to tell her about all the lies of the timelords, about the timeless child, about the destruction of Gallifrey? And all in the little time they had before River would go to the Library. The Doctor chocked up, she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself not to think about how close River was to meeting her inevitable fate. She couldn’t think about it, it would overwhelm and break her.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Darling.“ River noticed the change in her demeanour immediately, recognising the mental strain, the inability to face whatever she was thinking about. Quickly she lay down next to her and gathered her into her arms. “It’s okay, Sweetie, I’m here.“ She whispered gently kissing her forehead, running her fingers through her hair soothingly, as she had so many times on Darillium. “We don’t have to talk about it, we can just lie here.“ She reassured her kissing her cheek, her temple, her hair, she held her close and the Doctor clung on to her. She dug her nails into her arms, into her back, just to hold on as tightly as she could and it broken River’s hearts.

“River.“ The Doctor whimpered and River cradled her wife’s head against her chest, kissing the top of her head, so she wouldn’t see the tears welling up in her own eyes, for seeing the state her wife was in.

“Whatever it is, it’ll be fine.“ She assured her, kissing and stroking her hair, again and again. Her eyes fell on the photos on the bed again and she noticed how wrinkled some of them were, stained with tears. “I’ve got you, my love.“

“I can’t sleep without you next to me.“ The Doctor sobbed into her chest, she shook her head in desperation. How was she supposed to do this by herself? How was she supposed to deal with the things thrown her way when she couldn’t turn to her wife for strength and comfort. She hadn’t had a restful night’s sleep since Darillium and now, she needed her rest so very much.

“I’m here now, Darling.“ River whispered. “Get some rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.“

“Promise?“ The Doctor’s voice was weak and desperate.

“Always.“ River held her tightly. “I could do with a good night’s sleep too, before going off on that expedition…“

“I love you, River.“ The Doctor whimpered, as if River’s words were hurting her even more and River took a deep breath, trying to compose herself.

“I love you too, Sweetie. Rest now.“

#Doctor who #fanfiction #River song #thirteen #thirteenth doctor #space wives #river x thirteen #thirteen/river #femslash #hurt/comfort #angst #emotional #otp #the towers sang and you cried #yowzah #timeless child

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