#the bar is underground for abused kids lol

[filmnoirsbian]

I don't have a bad mother figure, but man I sure did have a bad dad. And your writing resonates really well with my family, still, because my father had the same expectations and relationship with his sons.

I didn't get Elektra for a while because I literally thought "why would you get revenge on your shitty ass father who sacrificed one of your siblings??" but. If I reversed it for mother I would. I would get her. I would avenge my mother if this happened, too.

Thank you so much for making this complex matter both mkre complex and understandable to me. May our sacrificed Iphigeneias live on <3

💝

#even before i read more of the oresteia and sophocles' version was all i knew i read it less as electra avenging her father #and more as avenging herself as an abused girl taking up arms against her abusers #even if agamemnon was not a perfect father like she remembers. he was still the parent that did not hurt her #and speaking from experience it's easy to idolize the parent that didn't directly abuse you. even if they weren't a good parent themselves #the bar is underground for abused kids lol

[starlightshore]

barring the no mercy route being an influence in this case, how would you describe chara's personality? I cannot describe them well at all despite them being my favorite character. they're too complex lol. all of the meta i can find at this time as them described at both extremes of innocent & evil but i don't think that's accurate

TW: discussions of canon dark topics such as abuse , death and suicide

i love talking about chara, i've talked about them at length before lmao. thank u for giving me a chance to talk about my beloved child.

you can actually read a character exploration i'm doing in a mini-arc for Askfallenroyalty. actually, if you want one condensed post, this comic sums up chara's motives

My interpretation:

chara is an abused kid and suicidal kid*(1) who ran to mount ebott to die.*(2) upon learning that monsters are made of love and humans aren't*(3), chara began to hate humanity. the deltarune prophecy*(4) makes them to be The Angel despite being a human. Feeling undeserving of this title and obligated to fulfill it, Chara wanted to be a good kid more than anything.

But then the buttercup pie incident happened. They've accidentally*(5) poisoned asgore and came up with a plan to ensure the prophecy could be fulfilled and take a hit against humanity. Two birds with one stone -who cares if it's also a personal win too? then obviously the plan goes up in flames and they and asriel are murdered. then asgore wants to kill of all humanity.

your influence*(6) gets Chara onto a path of redemption or a path of destruction, mirroring the deltarune prophecy's two main interpretations.*(7)

in summery: chara is a scared kid trying to fit into a world that demands violence by the past actions of the previous generations. The war massacred monsters and locked them up with a kill-solution -ensuring that further violence would be needed to be free, thus continuing the cycle of violence.

chara is just a kid. they knit, they make macaroni art, they loved their family and had a best friend forever.* (8) but they're also vengeful, they cared so deeply for monsterkind they were ready to die and had no idea they'd be awake as a soul, they were prepared for death. they're complicated, you can't have one side without the other. while i’ve never wanted to murder anyone, i can still relate deeply to chara and see myself in them a lot. the tragedy of them -the fact they never really got a “happy ending” like everyone else just haunts me and it’s why I spend so much time making AFR. I just... love this character so much, i want this kid to be happy. (not that it could ever be easy to get there, happy endings aren’t free.)

And frankly, seeing this hurt kid get demonized just rubs me the wrong way, and it feels completely against the morals Undertale tries to tell with it’s story. I see it as a cautionary tale against violence and dehumanizing others for the sake of hate and violence. how kids can be influenced by the violence -or kindness around them. you don’t need to forgive the ones who hurt you, but killing them is not always the solution -though sometimes necessary as framed in the Undyne the Undying fight.

People get both Undertale’s themes and chara wrong the most, and for the game that’s meant the world to me it bothers me more than it should lol. It’s a Good Story, and I don’t mean to frame my interpretation of the character or themes as 100% canon and I know Mr.Fox’s brain to confirm it kinda deal, but with all the time I’ve spent analyzing and thinking it over I do think it’s not off in the general direction of it lol. And besides the author’s intent isn’t really the end-all-to-be-all. It’s what you get out of the story and the themes that matter and stick with you. No one can take that away from you.

Sources and evidence:

"* If you're cuter, monsters won't hit you as hard." -faded ribbion flavor text * "The ends of the tools have been filed down to make them safer." -gardening tools in New Home (and iirc Toriel's home as well, too lazy to double check rn) * Where are the knives. -no mercy chara (this and paired with the previous imply there are no sharp objects in reach of chara's home because chara can't be trusted with sharp objects out of self harm. This doesn't necessarily mean abuse but paired with them hating humanity so deeply, being suicidal and a child it paints a picture of abuse.

"* I know why (chara) climbed the mountain.* It wasn't for a very happy reason." -asriel post pacifist epilogue dialogue

"* Love, hope, compassion... * This is what people say monster SOULs are made of. * But the absolute nature of "SOUL" is unknown. * After all, humans have proven their SOULs don't need these things to exist." -Library book on monster souls)

* Legend has it, an 'angel' who has seen the surface will descend from above and bring us freedom. - gerson

"* It takes at least a human soul... * And a monster soul. * ...* If you want to go home... * You'll have to take his soul. * You'll have to kill ASGORE." -Alphys. Because boss monster souls are the exception and can persist after death for a short period of time, Chara could of killed any of the family members to escape the underground. this implies escaping wasn't the goal -it was to die (considering they already attempted suicide to fall underground the first time, this is explicitly suicide.) the plaque doesn't mention or speak like monster/human fusion's consumed soul would be aware. chara had no way of knowing they'd be awake. also the whole thing with the pie is a prank. cups of butter. -> buttercups. putting flowers in a pie is a joke to do, we see Chara is similar to Toriel (they mimic her speech in the no mercy monologue, they say “greetings” as she does like how Asriel says “howdy” like Flowey does. Chara makes puns and jokes in the flavor text all the time.

https://imgur.com/a/zP18P -dog food bag at different LV. "When the protagonist first encounters Mad Dummy, they are given the option to beat it up. Choosing to beat it up prompts one of three responses depending on the protagonist's LOVE." (source: undertale wiki)

If the protagonist’s LV is 1, the response becomes "(You tap the dummy with your fist.) (You feel bad.)"

If the protagonist's LV is between 2 and 4, the response becomes "(You hit the dummy lightly.) (You don't feel like you learned anything.)"

If the protagonist’s LV is between 5 and 7, the response becomes "(You sock the dummy.) (Who cares?)"

If the protagonist’s LV is 8 or higher, the response becomes "(You punch the dummy at full force.) (Feels good.)"" This implies Chara (who is the narrator) will feel different about the dog food -which references the classic phrase of "glass half empty/full" showing your out look in life. Then hitting the dummy show's Frisk's out look on violence depending on LV. Note that by the end of it, it's no longer "you feel..." but "feels good" This is Chara.

      7. “* Lately, the people have been  taking a bleaker outlook...* Callin' that winged circle the  'Angel of Death.' “ -gerson “* Only the fearless may proceed. * Brave ones, foolish ones. * Both walk not the middle road. “ -the first plaque in the first puzzle room with Toriel. The idea is to walk on both the left and right sides -you can’t go half way in the middle. this mirrors the “true” endings are only accomplished if you stick to no mercy or pacifist only.

     8. literally their home in New Home is a treasure trove of pre-game chara characterization.

#personal stuff #ut tag #character analysis #chara analysis #ask to tag #i put the warnings up top tho

[90slevi]

dating dabi headcanons

this is much longer than i expected lol

- dabi is a sadist in general. he enjoys inflicting pain on people, which is why he’s such a dangerous villain. of course, he’d never hurt you on purpose, but he can sometimes overstep boundaries by accident, so your relationship would survive on communication.

- he’d hate getting you involved in the league. unless you were a villain yourself, of course. but if you weren’t, he’d make sure to keep you far out of that sort of stuff.

- dabi is protective as FUCK. sometimes he could be a little over-protective to the point it’s a little toxic, but once again, communication.

- he’s incredibly physical. sexually and non-sexually. dabi is not the type to dish out compliments 24/7, and he’s definitely not into PDA (unless he purposefully wants to make someone jealous), but in private, he’s very touchy. he wants to make you feel loved, and sometimes he needs to be reminded that you care about him too. 

- although dabi is very secretive, he’ll eventually open up to you about everything that happened. and if you dare reveal any of it, he’d be completely and utterly destroyed/betrayed. once that’s happened, there’s no making up, and you don’t wanna know what’d happen next.

- dating dabi can sometimes be very intense. it’s impossible to settle down at one place as he’s constantly on the run, but you knew this would happen before even dating. 

- if dabi starts a relationship with ANYBODY, he deeply cares about them. maybe he’d have a fuck buddy once or twice, but once he’s in a relationship, he is committed. 

- you’re the only person he cares about. yes, maybe he’s formed bonds with people in the league, but you? if anything happened to you, he’d go on a rampage. 

- dabi hasn’t loved anybody since he was a child. he loved his brother and his mother, and that was it. since he was a kid, he’s loved nobody. so relationships are very... difficult for him, but he’d try his damned best.

- surprisingly, dabi is very good at cooking! mainly because he had to fend for himself for years, so he naturally adapted, but he really likes cooking you meals and making sure you don’t go hungry. 

- when you buy him gifts, he doesn’t know how to accept them but is grateful nonetheless. 

- dabi’s sense of humour is very dry, and he’s incredibly sarcastic. but that doesn’t mean he won’t laugh at things you do or say. 

- sometimes, dabi will go missing for weeks on end. usually, he’ll leave a note telling you where he is, but every time he returns, he’ll never leave your side.

- dabi would most likely fall for someone who can ease his pain, both physical and emotional, even just a little bit. he’ll fall for someone like this sub-consciously, as he believes he’d like someone as fucked up as he is, but in reality he’d fall for someone who can bring him back to earth.

- although he can be very rough, consent is key. he may be a villain and a sadist, but he’d never do anything you don’t want to do. like i said earlier, your relationship would rely a lot on communication and trust.

- dabi is very weary of bringing you to the league. surrounding you with people like mr compress and twice would be alright, but shigaraki and toga? an absolute nightmare. shigaraki would most likely insult you, and toga would... well, it’s toga.

- he’s not that fond of surprises.

- public dates such as going to a restaurant are completely out of the picture. it’s difficult for dabi to go out in public due to being recognised, so most dates happen at home or in a secluded area, such as a forest/woods, an underground bar specifically for villains, or an empty park.

- because of his skin, he refuses to bathe alone. showering/bathing is pretty painful for him, so he prefers to do it with you. it doesn’t even have to be sexual, he just likes to be distracted and have you there to comfort him. 

- dabi never cries. he physically can’t because his tear ducts have been burnt, but you know when he’s in a bad mood or upset. most of the time, he spends time alone when he’s angry, in fear of hurting you, but when he’s upset, he acts distant. but holding you makes him feel better, despite him never admitting it.

- surprisingly, he prefers praising you than degrading you. his favourite nicknames include ‘doll’, ‘babygirl’ and ‘kitten’. although... when it gets a little steamy, he can dish out both degrading and praising nicknames/phrases. 

- there’s a difference between teasing and fully pissing him off. he enjoys teasing deep down, but do not piss him off. ever.

- kids?! a fat no. he’s too scared he’ll end up like his own father, and as much as he’s thought about having children before, he’s always ended up at the same conclusion. he’d hate to be an abusive father, and although you’ve told him so many times that he’d never be that type of person, he just... doesn’t want to. he hates the idea of screaming children, so maybe not.

- it’d take him FOREVER to say ‘i love you’. but once he says it once, he can’t stop.

- “i love you, doll. don’t you fucking forget that.”

- “d-dabi? did you just-”

- “shut up.”

- if any creep or weirdo or some sort of villain touched you, they’re dead. and that’s no exaggeration. dabi would probably kill them.

- when you’re upset, dabi will do anything to make you feel better. he’s not the best at advice or making someone cheer up, so he often just hugs you tightly and lets you vent to him. if it’s a person who’s upset you, he’ll find that person when you’re not looking and kill them. if you’ve specifically told him not to kill them, then he won’t. instead he’ll scare the shit out of that person.

- “dabi... i just got a call from {insert name here}. did you hit them with a goddamn car?!”

- “i could’ve done worse, y/n.”

- “dabi for god’s sake!!”

- “what?! they upset you! what was i supposed to do? sit here and accept that?”

- “yes!!”

- dabi is incredibly interested in things you enjoy. he’s much more of a listener than a talker, and he enjoys listening to you when you rant to him about your hobbies, or a tv show you’d just watched. he’ll act like he’s not that bothered, but it certainly makes him smile inside.

- dabi can be a hard and a soft dom. he likes taking care of you but he also likes being rough. it all depends on how he’s feeling, really. but at the end of the day, you’re the only person he deeply cares about. and he does try his best to show you that, even if it comes out... a little differently than he’d intended.

#dabi #dabi x reader #dabi headcanons #touya todoroki #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #anime #league of villains

[mydisasteracademia]

Random Shigaraki Headcanons

This boi. This grubby boi. I love him so much but at the same time he would probably literally dust me so... (oof this one kinda dragged on and on... lol)

Literally has no idea about real-life relationship dynamics outside of what he’s observed in his own parents, in Sensei, and in Kurogiri. All he thinks in the beginning is that people who claim to love you will stand by and let you be hurt, that villains took care of him better than any damn hero, and that he can only truly rely on himself. (And Sensei.)

It takes a loooooooong time of interacting with other people to break himself out of this mindset, and even then, sometimes it comes creeping back if bad things happen.

Getting into canon territory with this one, but really, really, reeeeeeeeally hates heroes because they didn’t even bother to help him when he was going through a whole mental breakdown. Literally one of the only reasons he hates them so much. I know this is pretty much canon, but I doubt he would ever grasp Stain’s ideology of ‘maybe some are good’ because in his eyes, not even the underground pro heroes even bothered to see if he was okay. Remember the scene from the manga with the old lady when he was a child? Yeah. There were bound to be heroes he bumped into, even off-duty ones, and nobody even gave him another glance.

Has extremely bad abandonment issues. If he likes you, he’s gonna want to keep you because he didn’t really have anything nice to call his own while growing up, and Sensei kept him fairly isolated so he literally tolerates nobody else other than him and Kurogiri at first. Reacts horribly when his friends want to break off the friendship. Goes through a whole depressive episode for a while, his old insecurities pop back up, and he really thinks he’s worse than trash and not worth anyone’s time or attention for a while. Prime time for Sensei to further twist his mind.

On that same note, if you’re dating, for the love of everything still good in this world do not break his heart. He will never forgive you. Literally will go to the grave before he forgives you for doing what you did (whether it be cheating on him or completely dropping him like a hot potato). Although this might also extend to little issues that make him feel like you don’t love him enough, he’ll forgive you if you show him plenty of attention and apologize for whatever he was upset over. If you cannot remain patient through his toxic mindsets, it’s best not to get into a relationship in the first place with him if you want to still remain friends afterward, because breaking it off means instant heartbreak.

Anyway! Back to happier, funnier hcs!!

The whole embodiment of the “Wears black in summer because I look good and am willing to suffer” vine. Will not give up his comfy black shirt and sweats for anything because yes, he does look good in black, and yes, he is willing to suffer. He’ll switch to a v-neck tee though. Even he’s not that masochistic.

Really prone to dry skin. I know that’s canon, but just... this poor man can’t keep moisturized to save his own life. Constantly has to apply a special moisturizer that’s specifically made for ultra-sensitive skin and has no scents whatsoever.

Will gripe about having to spend so much money on ointment and moisturizer for both him and Dabi. It’s one of the very few things they bond over, other than having a shitty father and pushover family... and their hatred of All Might.

Shigaraki 100% would be Dabi’s alibi if he actually managed to kill Endeavor. When it comes to the shitty dad club, he’s a fuckin’ ride-or-die.

Kinda sensitive over the fact that both he and Midoriya have the same sort of red shoes, but he loves his pair too much to throw them out. Purposefully aims for Midoriya’s shoes every single time they meet each other on the off chance that they get ruined enough for him to get different shoes, unknowing that he literally can’t just... get differently-colored shoes due to him being originally Quirkless (yes, The Shoes™ theory strikes again)

Literally never forgets a single thing about people he cares about. He’s the type of person who will remember every single thing you tell him about yourself, and especially birthdays. While he doesn’t exactly show his affection very loudly, he would be the type of person who tell you “happy birthday” on the day of as soon as he first sees you, and would treat you a little nicer all day that day.

This boy just has the biggest, scarred heart for his ‘good crowd’. I cannot stress enough just how much like Midoriya he could’ve turned out if he hadn’t been abandoned by society. This mf would give the green bean a run for his motherfuckin money.

“I really just hate the world and everything in it... except for you, maybe I could make an exception for you because you’re nice to me and I appreciate your company too much”

Even though I hc quite a few League members to be like cats when it comes to affection, Shigaraki’s spirit animal is a cat. Likes to lounge about in off-moments, slow to affection and very quick to remember exactly how people treat him, yet if he likes you he shows affection quietly enough that it’s not obvious at first. Like “oh, you’re in the same room as me. It’s not like I missed you or anything, me sitting right next to you at the bar when it’s totally empty means nothing. The fact that I’m looking right at you when you’re talking doesn’t mean I like you.”

LOVES HUGS. If you hug him and he likes you, you’ve probably made his whole day. Depending on how things are going, probably his whole fucking week. Just please hug him, he needs positive affection so bad

Major tsun-tsun. The most tsun-tsun. Grumpy until you get to know him, and if he likes you he’ll show you in little ways: listening to your ideas more, letting you stay closer for longer, maybe getting you something like food.

AFRAID OF TOUCH. I REPEAT, AFRAID OF TOUCH. Not from anyone he likes, of course; this baby is so touch-starved that he deserves a thousand hugs. But if he likes you, he will not initiate physical affection because he’s so afraid of accidentally dusting you. The memories of his family dying (except for his father, because #FuckKotaro2k21) haunt him almost every time he dreams (and if that doesn’t, then other traumatizing events certainly do), and he absolutely would not forgive himself if he dusted his favorite League member/civilian.

Definitely likens the rest of the League to his MVPs after a while of knowing them. Knowing how he operates, it’s adorable.

Would begrudgingly let Toga play around with his hair. I can just see him sitting blank-faced, staring at the mirror as she talks about whatever while brushing and braiding it into a cute plait. He would be hesitant to undo her hard work afterward, no matter how much he grouches that it “ruins his boss vibe”.

The kind of person to go to McDonalds at 3 AM just because he was craving chicken nuggets and ranch. Yes, ranch. He’s an old-school mf who don’t got no time for no barbecue.

Gets really irritated over Toga mooning over Uraraka and Midoriya, but doesn’t stop her from talking about how much she wants to ‘be’ them. (Encourages homicide. Advises homicide. Spinner has to stop her from actually getting ready to commit homicide.)

Disgruntled™

G L O A T S about the time he took away Overhaul’s chance to use his Quirk. “Yeah, we would’ve been satisfied with Compress taking his left arm away to be petty, but then Overhaul had to be a sentient piece of dick cheese, and well, y’know I couldn’t let him get away with that”

It’s becoming a problem. The others have learnt to tune him out once he gets going. Compress just smiles under the mask when he remembers it. Nobody knows what he’s really thinking.

His damn crowning moment. His apex point. There’s no going further beyond that (until he finally defeats Midoriya and takes over Japan as the world’s most feared villain of all time).

“Shigaraki, I’mma let you finish, but AFO still holds the record for being the most infamous villain of all time! Of all time!” <-- let the boy dream okay, he’s been waiting for this moment his whole damn life

Can you tell that I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass? Because I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass

Chronic emo phase. Hears the G note and just sighs heavily

Has probably seen hentai. Doesn’t really get the appeal of high-pitched feminine screams. Probably more of a tiddy man than an ass man. Just... boobie

His first fictional crush was Aeris/Aerith. Legitimately lost his shit when she died.

Man Crush Monday is Sephiroth all the way. Especially his one-winged angel form. Wanted to cosplay him for Halloween but didn’t because the cosplay was too costly.

Will make “That’s what she said” jokes in the most deadpan voice. At least Mustard kinda snickers at them.

Probably would’ve been pretty patient with Eri. Her traumatic past certainly would’ve pitted her as a kindred spirit with him, and he would think her Quirk would be a powerful asset if used right. Probably would’ve practiced it by destroying something and then telling her to rewind it so that he can break it again.

Shigaraki, holding Eri by her armpits: “I’ve only had her for ten minutes but if anything happened to her I’d dust everyone in the room to make her feel better”

The rest of the League: “???????? Okay?????”

Legitimately holds a powerful grudge against parents who abuse or neglect their children, especially against abusive fathers. Almost as powerful as his hatred for All Might. Will actively go after someone he sees is abusive to their children and will not let them live.

Would probably adopt an orphan after killing their abusive parents. “Oh, that was your dad/mom/parent? Well guess you’re mine now. Let’s go get chicken nuggets, kid”

Might somehow rope Dabi into going abusive-parent-hunting with him during a raid. Takes great pleasure in seeing the guilty party’s horrified, pained look on their face as they slowly dissolve into a pile of ash.

#shigaraki headcanons

[rainythefox]

Nightfall (Ch.14)

Synopsis: Pre-Resident Evil 1, slight-AU/Canon Divergence. Claire Redfield comes home to visit her  brother Chris for the holidays but gets caught up in a dangerous game of  cat and mouse with Albert Wesker, the Captain of STARS, after stumbling  upon dark secrets. She can’t call the law; Wesker is the law, and she  can’t tell Chris. She is trapped…Claire/Wesker & Slight Chris/Jill (There’s Wesker & William Bromance too lol). Rated M for eventual smut, language, violence, adult content.

AO3 Link

Chapter 14: On the Trail

The journey through NEST seemed to take ages this time. Claire was super lost now. How did these people know where they were going? The directions painted on the walls seemed alien to her.

She stayed close to Wesker, although the two barely spoke as he led her through the underground facility once more. That was fine by her. The redhead was still overwhelmed and distracted with what just happened. She tried not to think about it right now. It was something she'd need to process once she was back home, away from his scrutiny. As long as no one ever found out, especially Chris, she would be able to handle it.

The younger Redfield thought that was reasonable…until Dr. William Birkin stepped around the next corner, looking at some papers and whistling a tune.

Claire panicked inside. Wesker better not boast about what happened or she would kill them both…somehow. She remained calm on the outside, glancing up at Wesker. His expression was unreadable, except maybe it had eased up on his usual seriousness when spotting Will.

William looked up from his documents, noticing them. He took just one glance between the two of them before a wicked, all-knowing grin broke out on his face and Claire inwardly cringed. Could these two read each other's minds or what?!

She prepared herself for whatever cracks were about to come out of William's mouth.

"Dear God, it finally happened! Anne owes me fifty bu-" Wesker's hand smacked Will's face and knocked it back into the wall. "Ow!"

"Not a word," Wesker stated as his best friend rubbed the back of his head with a shit-eating grin.

This close, Claire realized the documents he had been reading were the same ones she had stolen from Raccoon University. She wondered what dark secrets they contained.

The eccentric researcher put up his free hand in mock surrender. "Okay, okay! I would never disrespect Claire that way...and expect to survive." His eyes found her and she instinctively balled a fist, ready to punch him where it counted. "Are you alright, Claire? I can castrate him if you wish. Unless you enjoyed it, of course."

Claire punched him in the gut. Will curled over, holding his stomach, wheezing. "So that's a no then...right?"

The redhead glared daggers at him as he slowly recovered from her punch.

"Never mind Claire, I deserved that, and Anne will kiss my boo-boo better tonight, so no harm done. I should thank you...", Birkin squeezed out, rubbing his abused belly.

"Dr. William Birkin, your presence is urgently needed in the incubation center," came the mechanical female voice on the intercom.

He hobbled away, mumbling to his partner. "She hits fucking hard. You're two are meant to be, Al."

Claire glared at his back as he went down another hallway, but Wesker got her attention by clearing his throat. "Shall we?" He looked amused by what had just happened, but Claire felt it was best to leave it alone. Once they made it up to the surface, Wesker surprised her.

"William is a complex man. It may not have seemed like it, but he was genuinely concerned when he asked your well-being." He opened the passenger door to his Jaguar for her, but she hesitated getting in.

"Your point?" Claire asked, looking him directly in the eyes, still disturbed and confused over all that happened tonight.

The STARS Captain half-shrugged, hand still propped on the open door. "Perhaps to spare him another of your retaliations, deserved or not, as much fun as they surely are. Besides, punishing him is my job."

She rolled her eyes and got inside the luxury sports car. Wesker shut her in and got in the driver seat. Claire stared out the window, flurries of snow falling in sheets now. It was just after 11p.m. according to the car's radio. She was ready to get home, bury herself in a mass of blankets and forget this whole nightmare. Boy, had she dug herself a hole so deep she could no longer see the light! She looked over at Wesker. The redhead cursed his good looks and silver tongue. But ultimately, she had done this to herself. She could've walked out that door. Could've said no, refused him. But no, she just had to prove to herself just how attracted to trouble she was...

As long as Chris doesn't find out…and he stays safe. That's all that matters.

For added measure, she wanted to take a whole week's worth of birth control, even if she had been diligently taking it for over a year. She couldn't imagine trying to come up with a story for that scenario if Wesker managed to knock her up.

It would probably come out looking just like him, blond hair, wearing sunglasses and all. No paternity test needed to explain that! She joked crudely, but soon dismissed it. Don't jinx yourself. He obviously didn't care about protection tonight. He got what he wanted.

"Something wrong?" Wesker asked, stirring her from her thoughts.

Claire blushed, realizing she had been staring at him, and hid her embarrassment with the first jeer to fly from her tongue. "For someone who doesn't like or want kids, you sure as hell didn't care about protection back there." Facepalm. Way to go, Claire, you fucking idiot.

A soft snort came from her brother's boss, and the sly smile that quirked made her heart do a funny flip. "You're on contraception, yes? Safyrallin?"

A strange, icy feeling bit its way into her spine. He knew what medications she was taking? Should she be surprised anymore? His satisfied half-glance her way confirmed he had revealed that knowledge with the sole intent to unnerve her even more. And it had worked.

"Don't act surprised, dear heart. I know nearly everything of all my quarries, including medical histories and prescriptions. Comes in handy where it counts."

I'm sure it does…

"Nothing surprises me with you and your lows anymore."

"Good. You're learning."

She shot him a glare just before they came to a stop at a red light. He looked at her, serious, piercing steel blue eyes freezing her in place. "I told you before I control most of this city and you thought I was bluffing. Do you still believe I am?"

Claire quietly shook her head. He smirked. His hand made contact with her thigh, caressing down and squeezing her knee. "I thought so."

The light turned green. His hand left her thigh, its burning, tingling touch slowly fading away within Claire's flesh beneath her jeans and she shivered.

Claire was relieved to finally see home come into view. Chris's truck was gone, but Wesker just pulled over to the curb. She was ready to get the hell out of that car, but her door was locked. She knew he would have one last thing to say to her, and so she turned to him, ready to get it over with.

"I'll be in touch soon, dear heart. The same conditions apply. Keep your stories straight and Chris nescient."

"I will," she snarked. "Now let me out."

Her door clicked, unlocking. Claire grabbed the door handle, but Wesker asked a question she wasn't at all expecting.

"Why did you use your mother's name tonight at the university?"

She wasn't shocked he knew her mother's name or that he asked her reasoning for using it tonight as her cover. But she was surprised by how he asked it. It was pure curiosity; no scorn, no teasing, no patronizing. Claire shrugged, not really knowing herself as she dug for an answer.

"I don't know. It was the first name I thought of. She went there when she was my age. Raced dirt bikes and motorcycles back when they had that." She stopped herself from rambling. "Why?"

"I would refrain from using family names in the future, especially one as unique as hers. It could get you into trouble. Always use fabricated aliases."

She nodded. "Okay." In a weird way, she knew he was advising her for her protection. She got out of the Jaguar and closed the door. The car sped away, the sleek black body disappearing into darkness, fading in flurries of snow.

It was nice to finally pull into his own driveway after most of the evening spent at the bar. Chris made sure Jill got home okay in her car. She had more to drink than him and the snowfall had picked up since they left. His partner told him to let her know if she was needed, in case Claire didn't come home. She also made sure to point out not to jump right in demanding answers for her supposedly being spotted with Wesker across town the other day. Well, no promises there. It had eaten at him more than he thought it would.

It was the moment of truth as he hit the front porch, stomping his boots to knock the snow off. He hoped his little sister had returned. It was nearly midnight! If she wasn't home, Chris swore he would hunt down this William Birkin fellow at his house. Just as he reached for his keys, hands frozen because he forgot his gloves (again), the front door opened. His heart skyrocketed. Claire! She was home! She was safe!

"Chris, get in here, ya goof! It's cold out there!" She grinned.

"Hell yeah, it is!"

He entered the warm house, stripping off his coat and boots and placing them near the door. He tossed his keys and wallet onto the nearby counter as he waltzed into the kitchen. Sizzling ham and cheese permeated the air. Claire flipped the grilling sandwich on the stove.

"You're hungry this late? Did you not eat at that guy's house?"

"I cooked a small meal for me and his daughter, but it was early. I didn't want to be rude and raid their kitchen waiting for them to get home while Sherry slept."

"Oh." That sounded honest enough. "So, how's the whole babysitting thing going?"

Claire's eyes dipped down, and she quickly made her plate. "It's been fine. Sherry's a real doll, and her parents are…nice." Okay, not as honest sounding, but maybe she was just tired.

Claire didn't bother sitting down to eat, just leaned against the kitchen counter as she took a big bite of her hot sandwich.

"Well that's…nice," Chris awkwardly replied. "Who told you about this job again?"

His sister chewed slowly, giving him a look. Chris' bullshit sensor went online immediately to filter her reaction for any dishonesty or half-truths, but she instantly was onto him. "Eh fren of eh fren."

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

She swallowed. "Don't ask me dumb questions while I'm trying to eat."

"I'm not! I'm just…making sure everything is okay with you. You've been gone a lot recently. And…honestly, I'm starting to think you're hiding something from me, Sis."

"Bro, come on. I'm fine. Look at me! Just babysitting! I'm not getting into trouble, Jesus! You should know me better than that!"

She was getting a little defensive. Which meant she was telling the truth and getting mad he didn't believe her, or she was lying and was trying to cover it up. It was hard to say with his headstrong sister at times.

The older Redfield sighed. He was just going to have to come out and say it. "Look, Kendo told me he saw you and Captain Wesker together the other day across town. You got into his car. I'm just…wondering why? And you never mentioned it to me."

Claire nearly dropped her plate taking it to the sink. She had scarfed down her small meal as quickly as she could, probably to sooner get away from him and avoid his questions. It took her a moment to face him, trembling slightly as she rinsed off her dishes. When she turned around, she looked as though that sandwich did not agree with her stomach.

"Yeah? I was with him the other day, so what?"

He was stunned. "Why?"

"Does it matter?"

Chris kept his temper in check. "It does. He's my boss."

"You think we're bumping uglies or something? That'll be the day..."

"What?! N-No! I, I…" Chris stammered, completely thrown off by her accusation…even if Forest and Joseph's teasing of that particular subject had gotten under his skin. "I know Wesker wouldn't do that, I just…"

Claire snorted a laugh, and he didn't particularly know why. "Are we really doing this, Bro? We really gonna fight over something this stupid? If you don't think anything bad is going on between us, then why so goddamn nosy about it?"

"Why so defensive, if it's so innocent?"

"Because you're pissing me off with your constant police interrogations! I'm your sister, not a suspect! And I'm an adult! You really want to know why I was with Wesker? I bumped into him while picking up some things before going to William's. He offered me a fucking ride because he was being nice and looking out for me. He knows the fucking guy! They're friends. Are you happy now?!"

Silence. Thick, unbearable silence.

"Sorry, Sis…I just…" He was relieved, but he was far from happy. Maybe he had gone too far. He had done it before…a few times. Still, even with all this new information at the cost of a fight with Claire, something still didn't feel right.

"I'm taking a shower."

His little sister was mad now. But she also had tears in her eyes. Claire didn't typically cry when she was mad. Maybe she was just really frustrated with this whole mess. She stormed out of the kitchen and through the living room, taking to the hallway to her room. The door slammed shut, echoing across the house and rattling some pictures.

Chris rubbed the back of his neck. Yeah…he done fucked up.

This night had taken its toll on her. Claire screamed into her pillow, frustration, dread, anger, all suffocating her. Chris was making this so much harder. It didn't matter if he was just protecting her. She could protect herself, he knew that! But more so, he was pushing them both closer and closer to the edge where she would no longer be able to protect him. She had to figure out a way to get Chris off her back before he found out too much. But she had no idea how!

The younger Redfield needed a shower, badly. Not just to wash away all this tension and stress, but to wash away all where Wesker had touched and kissed and claimed. She could still feel his seed oozing within her, leaking between her tightly pressed thighs. And his hands roaming her body, igniting every single nerve.

Claire jumped to her feet, stripping. Disgusted, she tossed her dirty clothes into the hamper and entered her bathroom. She looked herself over in the full-size mirror. Wesker had kept his promise to not leave any marks where anyone could see, but she did notice the light bruises from his grip around her hips. One of her breasts had a small bruise too…from his mouth? Maybe? When she turned, she saw the faint marbling on her lower back from hanging over the back of the couch. Yeah, she's gonna be feeling that tomorrow! She was already feeling a lot of it. Her pussy was sore from all the friction with Wesker's large member. Her legs were still questionable with walking and balancing.

She was soon distracted by cold seepage between her legs, courtesy of Wesker. Gross! Claire wrinkled her nose in displeasure and quickly grabbed up a sponge as she turned on the shower, getting it as hot as she could stand. Steam filled the bathroom soon after. She would clean every single inch of herself from him, if only to make her feel that Wesker hadn't somehow laid complete claim to her tonight. No, she would wash it all away, she would refuse him next time. And, by God, she would find some way to keep Chris from finding out the truth…

The following morning went as expected. Claire didn't get up to greet him good morning or join him for breakfast. Chris didn't let it bother him. After all, Claire could hold a grudge longer than he could. It was his fault anyway. He left her the key to his truck just in case and caught a ride with Jill.

"I told you! Didn't I tell you?!"

Jill berated him (and slugged him hard in the chest) as they got coffee and made their way to the STARS Office. The Raccoon Police Department was already a hustle and bustle.

"I know, I know! I'm stupid, okay?"

"I know you're just trying to be a good big brother," Jill reassured. "I know all the hardships you two have been through and you worry for her. But she is an adult, and you taught her how to take care of herself really well! You don't want to spend Christmas fighting, do you?"

He couldn't believe Christmas was less than a week away. "No…"

"Then make up with Claire and let go of whatever's making you obsess over something being wrong with her. She's fine!"

The partners dodged heavy foot traffic of police officers, civilians, detectives and desk workers, taking the stairs. On the second floor of the main hall near the Lion Statue, they spotted Chief Irons bitching at the Captain and Vice-Captain of STARS. Enrico looked tired, after all, he'd been here all night, and looked as though he toned out the Police Chief, dreaming about his bed instead. Wesker rolled his neck, apathetic of Irons's rant. He noticed them but didn't say anything as they walked by.

"Poor Wesker and Enrico. I don't know how they deal with that asshole constantly," Jill sighed.

"Enrico says he just hears the sounds that Charlie Brown's parents made," Chris joked. "And I'm pretty sure Wesker just thinks of all the ways he could murder him."

"Who hasn't?"

They both laughed.

Jill stopped to pet her favorite K9, Vance, in the hallway just down from their office. The RPD used Dobermans for their K9 officers over the more popular German Shepherd. The old red Doberman was close to retirement, having served six years so far. Chris high-fived the dog and they went on.

When they entered the STARS Office, they were greeted with the usual faces, but also a familiar one they didn't see as often. Barry, Joseph, and Brad were chatting with Kevin Ryman, an outgoing fellow police officer. Barry leaned on one desk, arms folded, grinning as Kevin exuberantly told a story about a disturbance call for a party.

"The guy was handcuffed to the bed with a horse mask and socks on only! He even had the gall to neigh when we were arresting him! Weirdest shit ever, I couldn't keep a straight face, man."

"Sounds like one hell of a party, damn!" Joseph laughed.

"Oh, so you weren't in the horse mask this time, Kev?" Chris ribbed.

Kevin noticed them and laughed, bumping firsts with Chris. "Redfield! You wish. You know I always use a unicorn mask, bro! Rainbow mane!" He flipped his dark hair dramatically.

"Oh lord," Jill shook her head, smiling.

"Badass Jill, looking lovely as always. How do you get through the day surrounded by these dweebs all the time?"

"Funny," Chris interrupted, knowing Kevin was just joshing, but he was a little defensive because he knew he was also flirting. "What're you doing up here anyway?"

"Oh, dropped off my paperwork again. Another STARS exam test coming up! I got a good feeling about this one!"

"Again?" Joseph asked, skeptical, but was smacked by Barry. He rubbed his arm in pain.

Kevin had tried the exam for STARS twice now, and failed both. It wasn't as though Kevin didn't have the necessary qualities. He was a great cop and a nice guy. But he was still inexperienced, and well, a little too carefree at times.

"Best of luck when the time comes, Kevin!" Brad encouraged. "You can do it."

"Yeah, just keep training," Chris said.

"And studying," Jill added.

Kevin nodded with a grin. "Will do!"

The door to the STARS Office creaked open and finally their Captain had escaped Irons' tirade. Chris just hoped it didn't put him in an awful mood. That always made for long days. Wesker glared at Kevin behind dark shades. The young police officer shrank a little under the scrutiny.

"Ryman! What are you doing in my office?"

"Uhh, sorry, sir! Just turned in my paperwork for the next exam. It's on your desk."

"You're trying...again?"

"Yessir! Third time's a charm, ain't that what they say?"

Wesker walked over to their huddle, coffee cup in hand. "Perhaps you should give yourself more time for training? Save face, yes? There's no shame in that."

Kevin chuckled. "Of course I'll save my face for the new STARS poster! Besides, I have no shame!"

Barry facepalmed for everyone.

With one eyebrow raised, it was obvious Wesker couldn't decide if Kevin was joking or just dumb. "Clearly..."

"Just you wait, Captain Wesker! In a few months I'll be the newest Alpha member!"

"Bravo. It's for Bravo...if you even bothered reading the memo."

"Oh...yeah." Kevin snorted. "I knew that!"

Wesker smirked. "Good. Then that means you also read the qualifications needed. Chemical science, pathology and toxicology. You know, chromatography, spectrophotometry, ballistics, post mortems, the simple things. Oh, and let's certainly not forget that they need to be a healthcare specialist as well."

Kevin gulped. "Uh, is that all?"

"The basics. I'm sure you'll do fine. You're a smart lad, after all."

"Yeah...okay." The young cop gathered himself up and cleared his throat. "Well, I better get back to my desk and get some paperwork filed. See ya guys later!"

"See ya, Kev."

Once the door shut, they all looked to their Captain. Barry scratched the back of his head. "Jesus, Wesker, you really go for the kill, don't ya? Did you have to humiliate the kid so much?"

"He'll be fine. Builds character. Besides, some people are impervious to humiliation. Look at Frost."

"Hey!"

"It was a compliment, you idiot."

"Oh…"

"So, it's true then? Kenneth's gonna retire in a couple of years?" Jill asked.

"That's the plan," Wesker answered after a sip of coffee. "It'll take me months to find someone promising, I'm sure, even with scouting outside the state."

Barry sighed. "If 'ol Ken does an early retirement, I might have to as well."

"Don't you dare, Barry," Chris threatened light-heartedly. "Although getting weapons supervisor would be pretty awesome."

Barry snorted a chuckle. "You sound mighty sure of yourself there, 'ol buddy."

"I already promised Chris he would get it," Wesker informed.

"Hey, no fair. Don't I get a say in who would get my spot?"

"Would you rather me give it to Frost?"

Just as Joseph grinned, Barry ruined the moment. "Hell no!"

Barry slapped his large hand into Joseph's back playfully.

"Okay then," Wesker said, glancing at his watch when the phone on his desk started ringing. "Besides Barry, if you retire early, I'd have to blackmail you to stay, and I currently have too many blackmailing affairs to manage another."

They laughed as he left them to answer his phone. Chris nudged Jill and they went to their desks to get to work.

"Sometimes he sounds a little too serious when he says stuff like that," Brad said, his chair squeaking as he sat down.

"I'm telling you guys, secretly a supervillain," Joseph joked as he signed into his computer.

Chris rolled his eyes. "It's called dry humor, Brad. You should know him by now."

"I know that! It's just...I don't know, sometimes I think he really means what he says."

They focused on their work for a while. Chris tried hard not to let his sister and their fight distract him, but he did find himself zoning off for minutes at a time. He stared at the picture he had of them together on his desk, CDs, pens, and change scattered around the small frame. A hand touched his as it hovered just over his keyboard, and he pulled out of his thoughts to look at Jill.

Her reassuring smile centered him quickly and he returned it. No soon after did their Captain emerge from his room, taking his shades off long enough to rub his eyes. He looked a little tired, but Chris knew that wasn't all that abnormal.

"I do hope you all remembered that today is marksmanship training? I have to turn in all the paperwork by the end of the day."

Brad groaned softly and made himself smaller, but that only caused Wesker to single him out faster. "Vickers, front and center."

"Yes sir," he mumbled, getting up and plodding over to the door.

The two left the STARS Office, presumably heading down to the B1 floor of the police department where the firing range was. Chris, Jill, Barry, and Joseph remained, typing reports for previous and ongoing investigations. As an elite force, the STARS was subject to ongoing training and development. It wasn't anything new. Usually, marksmanship training was an extra forty hours every year, give or take. There was also training in defense tactics, legal education, and rescue procedures, to name a few.

Over the course of the morning and early afternoon, Brad, Jill, Joseph, and Barry got their training and returned to the office, informing the next member to go to the firing range. Chris was last, nodding as Barry jerked his thumb over his shoulder towards the door.

He made his way down to the B1 floor, mind flooded with thoughts of Claire and how he would fix their situation, torn on burying his instincts and letting it go to make up with his sister, or continue following his gut to figure out exactly what he was missing here.

"Chris, am I happy to see you. Means I'm about done wasting my time for the day."

Chris chuckled at Wesker. "How'd the others do?"

"Fine, as to be expected. But they still don't shoot anything like you. So, why don't you be a showoff and ace the training so we can get out of here?"

Wesker was never one to beat around the bush. Chris respected the man more for his direct nature, even if he was an asshole at times. Though he was well mannered and professional around most, and even a little friendly to those he liked, the STARS Captain wasn't known for sugar coating or being amenable.

Perhaps that was why he and Chris bumped heads at times, as Chris couldn't help his own rebellious, straightforward nature that got him canned many a times for insubordination, including his career in the Air Force. The other STARS members may have joked that he was a favorite to their pragmatic Captain, but he wasn't a stranger to any of his rebukes or discipline. Still, Chris was grateful that Wesker allowed him on the team despite his history, and was willing to work with and advise Chris as he, well, grew up a little.

Chris nodded, faintly smiling. "Sure."

As he walked over to the selection of weapons on the table, he hoped he could suppress his worries of Claire and all that was going on long enough to concentrate on the marksmanship training. Then again, sharpshooting came as natural to him as breathing. So, he had nothing to worry about...right?

First up on the list was the W870. Chris fitted his earmuffs and walked over to his booth in the firing range. He used the 12-gauge shotgun to clear the targets in a quick amount of time, and also reloaded and took apart the gun. Wesker didn't say anything, and didn't even mark anything on the sheet, arms folded, bored. It was typical of Chris to ace the whole training, and so it wasn't anything new that Wesker took this time to be absorbed into his own thoughts. Although, Chris distinctly detected that the Captain seemed distracted today.

Chris dismissed it and grabbed the next gun. MQ11. Not his favorite, but it was a handy little machine gun. He taught Claire how to shoot one of these. She liked it a lot, he recalled. She also liked the GM79 he "accidentally took home but actually took out to the country to shoot on more than one occasion". She was a good shot with that thing!

Jill was right...He did teach Claire how to take care of herself, quite well. She was a good shot with all kinds of weapons, even ones not supposed to be in the hands of civvies. He taught her self-defense, and she was so smart. Smarter than he was at that age. So why was he so worried that something was wrong?

As he reloaded and took apart the small machine gun, he really picked at it. He at first thought maybe she was in trouble somehow, but now he didn't really feel that way. His gut kept telling him she was hiding something from him, but what? If she wasn't in trouble or danger, what could she be hiding?

He picked up the Samurai Edge next, the Kendo-modified M92F handgun all STARS were issued with. As he checked the gun over and lined up his sights, it finally hit him.

"A friend of a friend."

"He offered me a fucking ride because he was being nice and looking out for me. He knows the fucking guy! They're friends. Are you happy now?!"

He pulled the trigger, appalled by that connection - and completely missed his mark...

He despised days like these. Unfortunately, it was protocol, and Wesker needed to keep up appearances. The Captain supposed it could be worse. The stoic leader of Alpha team actually liked most of his subordinates. The marksmanship training was simple, but time consuming. It often made his mind wander, which he usually didn't care for. That is, if his co-workers didn't feel the need to be chatty with him as they trained.

While enduring today's lackluster training sessions, most of his thoughts consisted of something he wasn't expecting: Claire. He tried to focus on more important matters, like his and William's next step against Roth, or even the next set of experiments for G. But they would soon all go back to her. The way she sounded and moved underneath him, the way she tasted, the way she felt. That little taste was an addiction for sure, and he found himself craving to take her again.

Yet, he hated distractions. So why was he letting her consume his thoughts so much?

Seeing Chris was a relief. He was the last one for training, and he always finished in impeccable timing. Soon he could get out of this noisy dungeon and put his mind to something more productive.

Everything was going smoothly until Chris missed a target. Wesker did a double take to make sure he not only heard correctly, but saw correctly. Chris faltered, but the next few trigger squeezes came swiftly. He hit the remaining targets, but his aim was off. It didn't look like much, but to sharpshooters like Chris, it was concerning.

"Redfield, what's your problem?"

His point man flinched, staring across the way at the targets. He lowered the handgun, his eyes slowly turning his way. His usual, and occasionally annoying, aura of confidence was shaky now. Wesker didn't appreciate how Chris was looking at him.

Great, a heart-to-heart I have to pretend to care about. This day just keeps getting better by the minute.

"So-Sorry, Captain. I, uh, don't know what happened," he said when Wesker approached him.

"Do you wish me to write these marks down on your sheet?"

"No! I can redo it! I...I just had bad ammunition, is all."

Wesker grabbed the gun from the table and quickly fired one-handed down the range, emptying the remaining magazine. Five shots perforated the bulls-eye of one target. "Seems fine to me."

Chris looked away, rubbing the back of his head. It was unlike him at all. Wesker would've preferred that Redfield temper that usually tested him on the worst of days.

Wesker sighed. "So, let's hear it."

"What? I'm fine. I'm just having an off day…"

"You're distracted. I cannot have one of my best men in such a state. I need you focused. This team relies on you, and so do I."

Chris didn't say anything. Wesker contained his irritation. He hated his time wasted. Apparently, he needed to give him a little push, since Wesker had a suspicion he knew exactly what was bothering him.

"Let me guess, trouble at home?"

That wide-eyed, nostril-flaring stare told him he was correct. No surprise.

"How did you-"

"I have ears," Wesker cut him off. "You've mentioned it once or twice, not to mention Jill and Barry talk as well."

"Oh...right."

"You obviously need to vent. I'm here to listen and give advice, if you choose so. It is my responsibility to look after you and make sure you are fit to do your job - physically, mentally, and emotionally."

"Thanks, that's alright, Wesker. I appreciate it. You probably wouldn't understand...not having a sister and all."

"I do have a sister, actually."

At least, that is what they proclaim her to be…

He pushed those vexing thoughts aside. For now, there was a more pertinent problem at hand.

"You have a sister?" Chris didn't hide the disbelief in his voice.

"I'll give you the whole family tree one day, if you will just focus on you," he dismissed.

"Alright, alright." Chris sighed heavily, scowling. He gathered his thoughts, still perturbed. "Well, Claire and I had a big fight last night. I kind of...accused her of hiding something from me."

I detest insignificant euphemisms...

"You either did or you didn't, so which is it?"

"Okay, sheesh, I accused her! She blew up...she's got a temper like me."

As I've seen…

"What do you think she is hiding?"

Chris thought hard. "I...don't know. I feel it. I know her. It's been going on for a week now, ever since she went to that damn hiking trail. I-I thought maybe she got herself into some trouble, but now…"

"Time for some hard reality, Chris: your sister is an adult. She can live her life however she chooses. Do you really believe you should be able to have a say in every aspect of her life?"

"Well, I..."

It was a rhetorical question, you fool.

"Forgive my candor, but you are only pushing her away. If she is hiding something from you, perhaps it is because she fears your judgment or overprotective propensities. You should put more trust into her."

"I know that…"

Despite his agreement, the STARS Captain still sensed conflict within him. He wasn't particularly worried about Chris's instinct about Claire, but did find it impressive.

"If you know that, then why still so insecure?"

"Look...there's something else bothering me, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way...but Kendo said he saw you and Claire together the other day. She got into your car…"

Interesting. Wesker kept a straight face, knowing Chris would gauge his reaction. Little did his subordinate know, he was a master at this game.

"And?"

Chris's eyebrows furrowed, and he frowned. "I guess I'm just surprised you didn't say anything about it to me."

"Why would I?"

He didn't say anything, eyes shifty, fidgeting instead, like William often did when he was uncomfortable. Wesker sighed, deciding to push him even further.

"You asked Claire about it. It's what started the feud." It was a random guess, but the way Chris squirmed told him he was right on the money. This was almost too easy! "And what did she say to that?"

"N-Nothing really."

"Humor me."

"I guess she thought I was implying that something...indecent happened between you two. But I wasn't! I swear! I know you wouldn't do that!"

Don't lie, Chris! This had to be the highlight of his day, so far. It took a lot of willpower to keep himself composed.

"That's exactly what happened between us," Wesker said in the driest tone he could manage.

Chris grimaced and quickly shook his head. "No! Come on, Wesker, I didn't mean it like that, she just took it that way! She said you gave her a ride to William's to babysit after running into her across town. I didn't know you were the one who told her about the job!"

Oh, I certainly did give her a ride...

"I did. I overheard Barry say she watched his daughters and William needed somebody short notice. I'm sorry, am I missing something here? Was I supposed to leave your sister in a questionable part of town with only a cab?"

"No, no, of course not! I appreciate it, Captain, really."

"Then what is your problem, exactly? I can understand why Claire lost her temper. You seem awfully worked up over nothing, Chris."

Chris smacked a hand to his face, groaning. "I'm sorry, okay? It's this...gut feeling. I can't shake it."

"Instinct is useless when inhibited by emotions." Chris looked away, considering his words, still unsure. As frustrating as he was, Wesker had to commend his point man for his intuition. "You said this all started after Claire went hiking?"

"Yeah. She was fine until she came home that day. Hasn't been right since. I think something happened out there."

"Did you go out there and look for yourself?"

He shook his head.

"Why not?"

Chris shrugged. "I guess because I know I won't find anything, or that it's a foolish endeavor."

Wesker sighed. "Indeed, quite foolish. But I suppose we better get it over with."

"Huh? What do ya mean?"

"The sooner we go out to this hiking trail and put your worries to rest, the sooner we can put this behind us and you can focus on your job. Now come along, that's an order."

Chris trudged forward with a groan. "Yes sir…"

Chris was thankful for the sunshine when they pulled up to the Arklay Hiking Trails. The trails were open, but they were the only ones around. Most people didn't want to run or hike in freezing weather, although with the sun out it wasn't as bad as it's been. They got out of the STARS marked Ford Expedition and looked around.

"Please tell me you know which trail she took?" Wesker asked.

"Yeah." Chris motioned to the two-mile trail nearby. "This one. We walk it a lot."

"Lead the way."

The two men took to the pathway, straight into the woods. Chris checked his watch. It was lunch time. Hopefully, Jill wasn't too worried. He and Wesker had left straight from the gun range to the parking lot and out in the squad car, not bothering to tell anyone. Jill probably assumed he went home for lunch to see Claire. Although, if they found out he was with Wesker, it wouldn't be too out of the ordinary. Their Captain preferred to do his own thing on his lunch hour mostly, but he did eat lunch with them on occasion.

Chris was certain Wesker would've preferred utilizing his lunch break in a more practical way.

"You really didn't have to do this, Wesker. It's a stupid thing, I know. I shouldn't let home affect my work."

"Don't mention it, Chris. Really. Don't. Let's just focus on finding whatever you're looking for."

Yep, that was his no-nonsense boss. Most people would've taken his remark all wrong, but Chris knew better and took no offense.

They followed the forest trail. The sun reflected off melting snow and there were a lot of deer, birds, and rabbits. Chris told Wesker how Claire had made the comment about being freaked out by a dead deer out here.

"And you don't believe that?" Wesker inquired. "Seems plausible."

"Nah, Claire doesn't scare easily...and isn't squeamish."

They were probably a little over halfway through the trail, Chris about ready to give up, when he spotted something not far off the trail. It was easily missed, but he somehow caught it contrasting on a knotted root, soaked from melted snow, and glinting in the sun.

He broke away from Wesker and the road to get a closer look.

Chris's blind trust in him was almost too much. While they travelled the path, Chris doing most of the talking while looking out for any clues, Wesker weighed his options here.

Thanks to his brotherly instincts and innate perception as a cop, Chris was close enough on the proverbial trail that he could become a threat. Sniffing away like a hound hot on the scent. And he was close to baying. It was Wesker's job to shoot the hounds before they found the foxhole.

Wesker would actually hate to have to put this dog down. Such a waste. And so when Chris left the path to kneel next to a muddy mound of leaves and roots, he pulled his gun out from its holster and aimed it at the back of his head.

Too easy. Only a few people saw them leave together, and that was easily manipulated. The surveillance footage in the underground parking lot could be deleted with one order to Irons.

Perhaps he could throw him off the scent? He was an important asset, and yet Wesker actually liked him. Then again, this was business, and assets could change on a whim.

He itched to pull the trigger, to blow his unsuspecting subordinate's head to pieces just like the last fool he killed out here.

Why?

Claire, he finally admitted. He wanted her with no obstacles to stop him.

He ultimately lowered the gun, holstering it. Killing Chris now gave him no advantage, and wasn't beneficial in any way, especially with Claire. So, he would do this favor for her, and she would owe him for his mercy.

"Find something?" Wesker asked.

"A watch," Chris answered, standing up, looking it over, none the wiser of what could have been his end. "From who though?"

Wesker looked at it. He recognized the broken wristwatch. Ned Finley's, probably lost when he and William caught him out here alone. He had only killed the man a week ago, but this small item was missed by the cleanup crew. Luckily, it wasn't anything incriminating. People lost watches all the time.

"From your dead deer perhaps?"

Chris sighed, downhearted, and cast the watch away. "I don't know anymore. I must be losing it."

"Honestly, I just think you're conflicted, Chris. You know she's an adult, but old habits die hard, and you worry that you cannot be there at all times for her anymore. You think something is wrong, but there isn't. Just stress and emotions."

"Well, yeah, I know that. She's been living off on her own and doing her own thing for two years, so I'm used to it. I thought this was something different…"

Wesker crossed his arms, welcoming the chill on the wind. "It takes time to fully realize it. As she explores her life more, relationships, goals, and the like. Again, you just need to trust her more."

"I do trust her. I just...She's all I have...after what happened to our parents. I don't want anything to happen to her."

"That's the idea, isn't it?" Wesker asked. "If you don't let anything happen to her, nothing will happen to her. You take the good with the bad. Unfortunately, that is life."

Chris slowly nodded, taking in his words, finally pacifying. "You know what, you're right...Thanks, Wesker."

Wesker was relieved. Seemed like he was able to finally get through to him, and throw him off the scent. He was ready to put this behind them and move on. He clapped Chris on the shoulder. "Come on, we should get back. You have training to finish."

"C'mon Al, I neeeeeeeed details!"

"I've already told you all I'm willing to share. Is it still not enough?"

"No!"

"Quit chewing my ears off Will, I swear you're worse than Mike Tyson. And that's saying something..."

"You both are despicable." Annette typed away on a small laptop behind Wesker and William, logging recent findings.

Wesker tried to ignore them both and do his work. This whole day had been a complete headache to him, and he wanted to finish out the night with some worthwhile results. Although working beside his partner as he drooled for more details on his coupling with Claire, he doubted he would succeed. William's sly grin in his peripheral vision was highly aggravating and distracting.

"I will break your nose again," Wesker warned.

"Oh, come on! Was she just a fling…or, ya know…is it something more? I can tell you like her a lot. Is she the one? Because, I'm thinking…she needs to be."

Wesker pinched his nose, his headache inflating by the second. "I'm sure I'm about to regret asking, but what is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying! Hear me out…I may - or may not - have gotten a sample of Claire's DNA and ran some tests. And according to my results that I, ahem, may have received, her genetics compliments yours greatly!"

Annette turned around with a glare. "William! Really? Didn't you do this with Anezka?"

Wesker clenched his jaw, hand closing tight on the pen he was trying not to stab into his best friend's jugular vein.

"SHHH, don't say her name!" William hissed. "You'll put Al in a sour mood! Besides, I did not! She…beat me up when I tried. So violent...Al sure likes 'em feisty!"

William's wife rolled her eyes, flipping the notes on her clipboard. "Get over yourselves. Both of you. We have much more important matters at stake here."

William waved her off. "Claire's good breeding for you, Al. Just saying. Besides, it's obvious to me that you like her. You just refuse to admit it, even to yourself."

"I'm concerned on multiple levels on why you are so obsessed with me procreating."

The Golgotha creator fidgeted under Wesker's glare, pulling at his shirt collar. "Hey! I beg to differ, buddy. I'm just trying to help you find love since you're absolutely hopeless at it without me!"

Wesker shook his head and turned back to his work. "Drop it. I made a point with Claire yesterday. That's all it was."

"Whatever you say, pal."

William sure was testing him tonight. Gratefully, he fell quiet after that and the three of them were able to start a fresh round of tests on William's new phase of the G-Virus. While Annette typed away behind them, the two partners worked in perfect sync, programming the computer to handle most of the work and watching the analysis onscreen.

"So, what else did Nikolai want in payment for his service besides money? You never told me."

Wesker flipped through some of William's notes to make sure all the sequences were matching up. "He wanted the Colonel's confidential list of Monitors in the UBCS."

"Why? That's not suspicious at all. Ain't Sergei his bestest bud?"

Wesker sighed. "Don't know. Don't care. I assume Nikolai wishes to have it in case he can use it to his advantage in the future. He likes to think ahead, like us."

William tapped his pen impatiently. "Yeah, well, as long as he stays out of our way."

The next hour played out smoothly, without errors or hiccups. They got a lot of work done, and Wesker was impressed with William's ingenious theses. His old friend was always a bit better at the scientific research side of things.

Wesker's headache was just about gone now that they were close to finishing up for the night, when the Birkins started up another conversation.

"Anne, did you hear Sherry say she wants to become a professional artist?"

"Really? When did she say that?"

"This morning getting ready for school. I mean, she is quite the artist, but she's definitely becoming a researcher."

Anne frowned, fiddling with her glasses hanging around her neck. "Ya know…I often wonder what Sherry will become when she's an adult. What kind of life she will lead. Who she will marry and have kids with. Don't you ever wonder that, Will?"

"Why? When I know she's gonna become a researcher like me?" Will snorted. "My beautiful girl is gonna follow in her daddy's footsteps!"

Anne sighed and turned to Wesker. "What do you think, Albert?"

"She'll probably end up with a cocky, foul-mouthed delinquent who gets her into nothing but trouble," Wesker made up. Anne's glare was worth it.

"...and have his pretty babies," he added with a smirk, just because he knew it would drive the Birkins nuts.

"Over my dead body!" William huffed. "In fact, no dating until she's like…thirty…maybe! She won't be having no miscreant's offspring either!"

Wesker snickered as his partner went off on an incoherent rant about Sherry's future love life. Annette tried to smite him with her eyes and then had to bring her husband to his senses.

"-and if he has a motorcycle, that's it, hell no. I'm getting the shotgun! No, scratch that, he'll become my next guinea pig!"

"Will, Christ, shut up. Albert's just busting your balls as usual. Can we please get back to work? I swear your two are even more pains in my ass when you're together."

"He started it!"

"Real mature, William."

"Just stating the facts, partner."

"If we're stating facts, you actually started it, old friend, with your incessant whining for more details of my personal engagements."

"I explicitly offered you to draw me diagrams instead if you're too embarrassed, but noooo…you still don't wanna share, ya prude old party pooper."

Annette groaned "I'm gonna kill you both."

A video screen popped up on William's computer, covering his work and showing the hallway just outside the laboratory. The word "Caution" flashed. It showed the guard standing by the door with a familiar face waiting impatiently. The guard's voice filtered through the computer's speakers. "Dr. Birkin? Sorry to interrupt but you have a visitor that's not on the schedule. A Miss Ada Wong?"

Wesker nodded at William, but not without hearing Anne's mutter of disapproval.

"Yep, send her in, Johnny!"

"Yessir."

Annette crossed her arms. "Is there a reason why you two are still allowing her in here to do business? Can it not be handled somewhere else?"

"Be nice, honey! Ada's on our side."

"I have a feeling one day she won't be."

"You worry too much, Anne," Wesker added. "As long as I'm around, you have nothing to worry about with Ada."

"Coming from you, that does not relieve me in the slightest."

The double agent entered the laboratory and instantly made herself at home when she found them in the back. She greeted them with her usual charm and grace. Birkin responded like a hormone-stricken adolescent, making his nearby wife roll her eyes and gather up her things.

"Excuse me."

"Dinner time already, Annie?" Ada teased.

"Definitely not. I've suddenly lost my appetite."

"Again?" Ada slyly smiled. "You keep that up, you'll shrivel up even more than you are now."

Annette didn't take the bait, and sauntered out of the laboratory. Ada shrugged, unimpressed from not getting any witty banter back, and turned to the two infamous partners in crime. Wesker could tell something was bothering Ada, but she kept it well hidden as she noticed William wriggling in his seat with a stupid grin on his face.

"What's your problem, Will?"

"Guess what - Al banged Claire last night!"

Wesker glared at his partner. William winced, expecting retaliation that he was about to deliver, but the way Ada subtly flinched intrigued him more. He temporarily let his old friend off the hook, if only to study the agent more closely.

"Would you like to announce it to Sergei and Spencer as well? Or how about her brother? Do I need to cut your tongue out and feed it to one of your less successful 'experiments'? Because you sure are tempting me tonight."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself! Ada's good at keeping secrets, that's the only reason I told her."

Ada casually shrugged it off, but Wesker knew her half-smile to be not only forced, but bothered. It would have fooled anyone else. She was a great actress, after all. "And this is something I should know or care about because…?"

William expertly leaned just out of his best friend's reach. "No reason really, maybe just to see how you'd react."

"How would you expect me to react? I don't know the girl. I wasn't able to pick her up last night because of the change in plans. Nikolai picked her up, remember? I just know what you two have told me. It's none of my business what Albert does in his personal time. And same with you, William, because I don't think it's anything I want to know about."

Hmm, so his speculations were correct. Ada had met Claire personally, and the two of them were keeping it in secret. But why was Claire such an interest to Ada? So much that she exposed herself like so? At first, he considered maybe he should be concerned with her behavior, wondering if she was siphoning information to the Colonel behind his back instead of keeping him at bay.

Wesker soon dismissed it. Ada was clever. Such a situation with Sergei could expose them all, and Ada had too much at stake to risk dealing such a hand. Not while he had her under his thumb. And certainly not while Umbrella's rival had big expectations from them both.

More than likely, Ada met with Claire to get as much information as she could about her and why Wesker was keeping her alive. Not just because of the assignment Sergei had given her, but because of her own curiosity; to give herself the best odds at dissuading the Colonel's interest in the matter. Perhaps she had sympathy for Claire, or sought something to use against Wesker. The latter was unlikely, as the two of them were in the same boat, no matter what. Too useful to each other to kill and too detrimental to expose the other.

"If you want more details, you're gonna have to use your charm," William joked. "He's staying tight-lipped with me. And I'm his best friend! We're supposed to tell each other this stuff! Bros before hoes, Al!"

"No thanks," Ada declined. "Look, we have a serious problem on our hands. I trailed Roth last night and he met in secret with two men...one of them was Irons. Mueller joined them later and was complaining about something big, something about mass producing Tyrants."

William snorted a laugh. "What? You gotta be shitting me. The T-002 is gonna be a failure, even if they perfect the Epsilon strain. Those idiots won't listen to me...no offense. I know you like John and all. I wouldn't mass produce that thing. If they don't stabilize the mutagens within that strain's genome, it'll be Beta two all over again. The Tyrant's brain will deteriorate. They'll be lucky if it's smarter than those damn zombies. I mean, I could fix it for them in a matter of weeks...if it was my project. Then they would have a Tyrant that'll take orders and utilize secondary exposures for more Crimson Heads...win-win. Although, with a little modification, Crimson Heads can become something far more deadly." He paused, noticing their glares. "What? I'm just saying!"

Wesker looked to Ada, used to William's ramblings. "Who was with Irons?"

"Beats me. Didn't recognize him. Roth seemed to know him really well though. Also, I should mention, Mueller wanted out. He accused them of what happened at the university. He apparently doesn't want his secret project used in this mass production." Ada frowned. "What of Irons, you think? I have a bad feeling about this, Albert. He knows about Crawford, Finley, and Claire. He's been trying to set you up, just like Sergei. You're going to get cornered."

"You leave Irons to us. Find out what you can from Mueller, threaten him if you must, but we need him alive." He hated that speaking that last name still bothered him, even if it was spelled differently, even if it was a completely different person.

"And what of Sergei? I can't keep him at bay forever. Especially if Irons or Nikolai reported to him."

"Nikolai got what he wanted. He won't volunteer anything to the Colonel because I gave him knowledge that could cost him his life. Irons, on the other hand, doesn't have the temerity to say anything...yet. But William and I will remind him how that will be detrimental to his health."

"Yeah, an intervention you might say." William smirked, tapping his steepled fingers. "And he's long overdue for one of ours."

#resident evil #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil fanfic #claire x wesker #clairexwesker #Albert Wesker #Claire Redfield #chris x jill #Chris Redfield #Jill Valentine #William Birkin #sherry birkin #My writing #AO3 fanfic

[todorosy]

Keep You // Dabi

Author’s Note: For Dabi being my fave character in bnha, I never write about him lol. Here’s this little angsty nsfwish thing.

TW: angst, NSFWish

Dabi was never so fond of his birthday. It was up until his 12 birthday when they would stop celebrating. Dad was always too busy dealing with Shouto, Mom was too “ill” to pay attention. His other siblings tried their best to lighten the day with surprise gifts and goodies, but he had always resented the day. 

“Don’t be such a downer!” Spinners says, popping his collar in the mirror. “Tonight we are going to fucking go out and have a good fucking time whether you like it or not. Shit, we might even buy you a prostitute.” He cackles.

“Hard pass, lizard. I can’t get my own bitch without buying one.” Dabi rolls his eyes.

“Shut up, you two. I just want to get stupid drunk tonight without having to hear you blabber about pointless shit.” Shigaraki rolls his eyes. “Kurogiri make the portal, I’m ready to get out of here.

“If you guys get caught doing stupid shit, I’m just going to pretend like I don’t know you. Don’t embarrass me.”

“Dabi, we know we wouldn’t embarrass you on your birthday!” Twice gives him a good pat on the back. “At least not yet. The night just started!”

They had arrived at the grimy underground club. Sleezy guys blowing their hot beer breath into slutty girls’ ears. Nothing about this place sounded appealing to Dabi. Frankly, he just wanted to get stupid drunk. So intoxicated he wouldn’t be able to remember the moment he woke up on this dreaded day.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” The bartender says in her sultry voice as she laid out a row of shots for him.

“You know me too well.” He lets out a low chuckle.

“Maybe after my shift I can give you your present?” She leans over and runs her index finger up his neck.

“Maybe next time.” He bluntly says, shaking her hand off of him. Normally he would gladly accept any of the women throwing themselves at him. However, tonight was not the night. A part of him wanted to go home and sulk, a part of him wanted to light the city on fire, a part of him wanted to disappear. Nothing about tonight felt normal.

Nonetheless, he downed his shots like a breathe of fresh air.

-

“That girl.” Kurogiri says, breaking Dabi’s silent bubble and turning to Shigaraki. “She’s the one.” he whispers 

On the stage, there was a lone girl dancing on the cheap poles. The way her hair hung down to her shoulder blades, the way she carried herself across the stage and down to the crowd. You were the life of the party.

“Around back after she’s done.” Shigaraki swirls his drink with his pinky. “Let Dabi have the night of his life."

You and the man by the bar had been exchanging glances  for the past two songs. He seemed rough- damn near broken, but whole enough to catch your attention. Your final song was over. You had been in the suffocating club for the past several hours and the only thing on your mind was taking off these killer heels.

-

You were dead tired. You wanted to go home but the offer was too good to turn down. Your heels gave your blisters, your makeup felt heavy on your skin, but you continued to powder your nose and forehead.

Just one night. Just one more night. Then I’ll finally be done. 

You sat on the foreign bed. letting the soft comforter cushion your nearly nude body. You felt disgusting. Used. Worthless. Never in a million years would you imagine selling your body like this, but it was worth the money.

Once you heard the bedroom door jiggle, you straighten your posture and pouted your lips. You had to look desirable no matter how undesirable you really thought you were.

Once the door opened, your eyes met with blazing blue one.

“Took you long enough.” You lowly say, standing up and slowly walking over to him. “Happy birthday.” You whisper in his ear, pushing his jacket off of his shoulders.

He suddenly bursts out in laughter, leaving you paused in your tracks.

“God, they are so fucking pathetic. Hiring someone like you. Sorry for wasting your time, but I’m not interested. My friends are just a bunch of dickheads.” He chuckles.

You deadpanned. He was drunk, it was his birthday, and you were anything but a narcissist, but you knew you looked hot. You weren’t complaining, though.

“Not interested? But it’s your birthday. They paid for the night.” You cocked your eyebrow. “Aren’t you drunk too?”

“Why? Planning on taking advantage of me?” He sets the rest of his things on the bedside desk. “I’m not nearly as drunk as I wish I was.”

“Well, that’s fine with me. If you’re not interested, mind if I change in here? I don’t feel too comfortable leaving the building in this whole getup.” You ask as you begin taking off your heels. 

“Who says you’re leaving? You got paid for the night, right?” He smirked. “I wouldn’t want them to have their money wasted. You can do what you need to do, but some distraction for the night wouldn’t hurt.”

You slowly nodded your head, remembering the pocket in which you left your pepper spray in your duffle bag just in case this guy got too creepy.

“Feel free to take a shower too. You smell like shit.” He points to the door that extended from his bedroom. “I’ll be getting a drink out there” He closes the door behind him without saying another word.

-

After removing every speck of makeup off of your face and changing into something much more comfortable, you walked out of the bedroom to find the man leaning up against the kitchen counter with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

“What’s a pretty face like that doing in a disgusting industry like that?” He eyes, obviously eyeing your body up and down.

“Paying bills.” You roll your eyes. “What’s a sleezy guy like you doing turning down a birthday present like this? On your birthday too?”

He laughs. His eyes twinkle at your snarky comeback.

“Birthdays aren’t my cup of tea.” He shrugs.

“No kidding.” You take a seat at the counter, facing him. You take the glass of whiskey from his hands and down the rest of the dark liquor. “What about it got you do traumatized?...If you don’t mind telling me.”

“Shitty childhood. Abusive dad. Sick mom. No support. The list goes on and on.” Dabi silently cursed at himself for the sudden openness. He wanted to forget about everything, not relive it through this stranger.

You purse your lips, pouring yourself another drink.

“My mom got sick on my birthday.” You sigh. “I dropped out of college to take care of her, and it eventually lead me to this job. All I needed was some quick money so here I am. Getting paid to sleep with birthday boys like you.”

“Sounds fucked. The only thing about aging is that you’re closer to dying everyday, I guess.” He shugs.

“I wouldn’t say it like that. You’re closer to finding something to live for.” You lowly say.

“That’s stupidly cheesy.” He rolls his eyes.

“What can I say? I’m an optimist. Good things are coming. I have hope that my mom will get better and I have hope that you’ll find something good out of your birthday.” You shrug.

“What’s your name?” He lowly asks, leaning close enough so that you could smell the liquor off his breath. “Not your stripper name either. Your real name.”

“Y/N.” 

“Y/N, huh?” He repeats, twirling a strand of your hand between his finger,

You two were close enough to touch noses. You were able to see the depth of his blazing eyes, the scars that ran across his jawline, the overgrown hair that shadowed his forehead.

“Dabi. That’s my name.”

“Dabi.” You say, letting it roll off your tongue. “How intoxicating.”

“Can you...can you do me a favor, Y/N?” He smirks.

“Anything. I’m being paid, after all.” You rest your head on the palm of your hand, looking up at the tall man with a smirk playing at your lips.

“Help me forget about the rest of this bullshit day.” He licks his lips. "Not as someone who got hired to fuck me, not as someone who pities me, but as someone who cares. Or at least can pretend to, at least."

“You want to have sex?” You cock an eyebrow. You internally groan. You just wanted one night to yourself and not have to do any sort of performance for anyone. You genuinely thought this guy was different too. 

“No.” He scoffs. “Unless you wanted to, sweetheart, but I was thinking about something different. Something more human.” 

You couldn’t keep yourself from smiling. “Alright, how about this. I’m no wife, but we’ll be human for a night and then you’ll never see me again. How does that sound.”

“Perfect.”

-

Dabi didn’t particularly know what “normal” felt like, but nothing like having a stranger rummage through his fridge and closet to throw unnecessary items out define it for him. He didn’t lay a finger on her that night. They sat and discussed of stars and philosophy and the future for Japan as they sat on the living room floor. Nothing had felt so normal. So human.

They had managed to clean the whole apartment, throw out half of the contents in his fridge, light a plant on fire, go through a blunt, and made a pleasant late night dinner.

Dabi felt his blood run thicker, the alcohol clearing out of his head, and his limbs feeling a little less heavy.

You felt time running out. You felt your little fantasy coming close to an end, causing your heart to be a ticking timebomb.

You two had eventually fallen asleep on the living room floor. You had woken up before him. Seeing him sprawled out on the floor, still in his jeans, made you smile. He seemed like a bad guy but you had known better. Just damaged goods.

You were to sadly face your reality.

Dabi,

As hard as you tried to push it out of your head tonight, Decent Birthday. Maybe not a happy birthday, but you have many many many more opportunities in the future for it to be a happy one. Everyday is a chance to redeem your past. I hope you take the opportunity to do so. Thank you for the night.

                                                                   -Y/N

#boku no hero academia #bnha #mha #my hero academia #bnha x reader #dabi x reader #dabi #dabixreader

[garbageivereleasedintothevoid]

10-08-19 (Tuesday)

God things were different back then. I don't miss it. It was awful. But some part of me still feels like I'm chasing it. Like maybe I belonged there. In that time. In that situation. Fucked up as it was... I felt more equipped to deal with it.

I realize that's the trauma. It's the realization that the coping skills I'd developed for over two decades are no longer applicable and grasping in vain at the past because it was what I knew.

Because I understood how to navigate that situation. And I... find myself more and more looking back at my early involvement with TSA as the source of that feeling. There's one moment that sticks out in my mind.

Youth Group still met at the YWCA and it was within a year of my joining. This one group that usually came together. Billy, Fatalany, and Mitchell (now called Maya). They all left to go to their car and some old dude drove by in his car and threatened them and called them faggots and they ran back inside. I was ready to bust heads. I was so new at it and I didn't realize the danger I could be in. And everyone looked at me like I was crazy. It was commonly accepted you just felt grateful to be alive and moved on, remembered their face, and kept going.

In that moment, I felt helpless. I couldn't save them. I had to leave the room and go to the bathroom and rage. I had to let it out.

When I got back out, they'd gotten to their car safe and left. But I remember feeling... So broken. It was like a wave of realization hit me. My life was changing. I was less safe.

And then... At last year's TDOR, I saw Elliot staring at the candles. And he was crying. He was having that same moment. It just didn't manifest as rage so much for him. There was definitely anger in his voice as he described his emotions but... he just looked so dejected. He was realizing the long hard road before him. Like I had. Ever since then, I have tried to send upbeat trans memes to the ever-dying group chat, hoping he'll find something good in that.

I wonder if that's what my face looked like. Defeated.

Elliot is a strong kid and I really hate that he and other queer and trans kids will have to go through these things. I hate it. But right now... It's a thing I cannot change for them.

I also just... Everything was far more underground feeling if that makes sense. Like, it... Wasn't as advertised for a long time. There were no news spotlights about our events. Good or bad. And... A core group of the time would show up. People would come and go but I would just sit there watching, never leaving. Always there. Sometimes people would move away. Sometimes they'd feud with the group. And sometimes... They died. And left their books to TSA. I still have a copy of the celluloid closet I have thusfar refused to read. It's too much. I can't.

There's this rich history of queerness in America. And we all know it. We queers know our history. But like many, ours is a story told orally. Very few written records exist of the early days of consistent uprising. Because you could get thrown in jail and that'd be proof of your homosexuality.

I know a fair bit of Evansville's (and the surrounding area's) history. But mostly a couple years before I joined (joined 2008) onward. I know there was a bar called Equals in Owensboro a few years back. Couldn't tell you when it closed but it was before my parents booted me(2013) but after I'd graduated high school (early 2010). Used to see ads for it in the newsletter. Never went. Was never old enough and it was in Owensboro. Went to Brickhouse once before it shut down. With Jessi. Ran into Jake Svetska. Hadn't seen him in years. Jake wasn't the brightest bulb in the box but deep down, he was a good guy. Josh on the other hand... Manipulative and kind of shithead in general. But dumb as a box if rocks. They dated for like a week before Josh upped the cling to maximum overload and Jake was like "Um, no."

Josh is "engaged" nowadays. And he's actually been engaged for years as opposed to how he used to declare he and a guy engaged and then they'd break up after like a minute of that because he hadn't even proposed and we were all like 15 - 18 year olds. He and Randy (Randi at the time) would go through twelve people a day between the two of them it seemed. Randy would find a new girl and have her calling him all kinds of names before he'd basically dump all his shit to be an ass to her. And then act like this had never happened twenty thousand times before and that she was crazy. He was a control freak and honestly probably abusive. Idk.

And Caitlin. Heard she is doing well. Can't remember if she moved away or not. Eliot (not Elliot) is doing great things. Super proud of him. Does a lot of radical work.

Katie... She's... An ex-gay therapy advocate. And works with Eren. One day she stopped coming and I asked eventually and was told "She has a boyfriend. She's saying she's not gay now. We're leaving it alone." Learned later that her parents forced her into it. College tuition or be a gay. Saddest thing too. She was a nice person. I hope one day she can unlearn all that and be happy.

Emily is still around and is still a waitress. She and Kris broke up a couple years back but are still close friends. Emily is poly anyway so she probs saw no real need to be bitter. I don't think Kris was really cut out for being poly/with someone who's poly. And that's fair and Emily is smart enough to understand that (Honestly believe she's super smart.)

Jim has severe health issues and will probably die within the next five years.

Eddie is still with the same guy he no longer loves.

Mark is still a flaming garbage can who thinks he's better than everyone and has this deep fetish for british culture as if it's superior (which he has explicitly stated btw)

Paul... Still creeps me out. Like he's been a dick to me before. But like... He creeps me out and I am not entirely sure why.

There were more. But... I'm not sure the others were really worth getting into. Those were the ones I knew best.

Zed is still around clearly. Working for the city. But... They... Things were weird back in the day. We kinda hated each other. Like a lot. We were absolutely awful to each other and idk how we ended up friends but it's definitely Grover and the fact that we were both fighting against Wally together.

I don't need to tell you all about what's happened on Wally's front lol.

Michael moved away and Married Ricky. Always hated Michael. He was such a self-important ass with no concept of the idea that throwing perfectly good things out was wasteful and taking things home that would otherwise be in the trash is not greedy. Ricky was chill though.

Gabriel overdosed too much and has seizures now.

There were a few more but I'm blanking on them.

Things are different. I'm... Still expecting things to suddenly go back. Like... One day I'll wake up in my parent's house. In my bed. And it'll be 2011. And I'll have my coping mechanisms set to what they can do to help me. Which... I don't truly want that. My life really sucks sometimes but there are some very good moments, too. And... Idk. If that did happen, I think I'd just get off my parent's insurance, get into ECHO and pay out of pocket (I would still have money in bonds) and wait. For Sara. Or maybe I'd just go find her outside of ECHO. Idk. Something. Drop out of school if I even started yet. Get a place, apply for SSI. But... Idk that's all just what ifs. I don't have those what ifs. I have now. And here. And idk. I think I needed to get all that out.