#the administrative nightmare that is Izzy Hands

[triflesandparsnips]

Unfortunate Theories (NOW EDITED TO REMOVE NONSENSE AND TO BETTER PROMOTE NEW FAV IBRAHIM THE QUARTERMASTER):

Izzy Hands was not, in fact, Blackbeard's First Mate. Not on Blackbeard's ship, anyway. There's another guy over there, a Quartermaster, let's call him Ibrahim. Ibrahim is watching all these shenanigans from a good distance away, drinking endless cups of coffee and making a note in the log every time a new crazy flag goes up or down the Revenge's main mast.

So who was Izzy?

We know that, canonically, Ed's actual direct requests of Izzy seem to be comprised of:

Collect gossip for Ed

Do small tasks that could otherwise be given to others for Ed

Make Ed tea

Fetch people who Ed would rather talk to

Listen to Ed as he describes clouds

Help Ed down from his high-wire act

These... are not matters for the second-most important person on the crew.

So my questionable theory? It's Ibrahim the quartermaster who does a bang-up job of actually running the dang ship for Ed. But Izzy... is basically Ed's assistant.

(...maybe rising to the level of Toxic Personal Assistant. But even that is giving him a level of management over Ed's actual day-to-day life that just isn't present in the canon. He doesn't even own a Blackberry.)

So Izzy's whole Thing about getting to have power of his own really starts with him coming over to the Revenge and no longer just being responsible, primarily, for random gofering. But hey, we believe in upward mobility! Shadowing opportunities! Gaining important industry experience in a competitive field! Izzy's been in the same position for a while and hasn't really developed the additional skillsets it takes to earn a promotion, so Ed thinks this is a nice chance for Izzy to maybe try taking on more responsibility in a low-impact environment, giving him a title he absolutely doesn't have the experience for but doesn't particularly need to be great at anyway while he gets some key on-the-job training with his fellow staffing professionals.

Meanwhile, Ed is on this rather nice office retreat with his new friend Stede.

(Ibrahim is, in fact, also having a nice time back on the Queen Anne, having the crew tidy up the decorations from the most recent fuckery, meditatively making himself endless pots of coffee, and drawing up new pages in the inventory so everything is set for the new fiscal year. It's great.)

But anyway. Izzy, unlike everyone else, is not have a good time. He's fairly sure he's acing this First Mate thing, but Ed doesn't seem to be giving him the, ahem, Respect he deserves now that he's no longer a lowly assistant. (Izzy is still very much an assistant.) Izzy still somehow has admin-things he has to do (help Ed down from the fuckery! also probably do the laundry!), but no real First Mate duties, and even his previous daily tasks seem to have taken a cut (he didn't make the best cup of tea or whatever, and it was certainly no task for a Very Important First Mate, but... now Stede was making it? What the fuck?)

So Izzy, rather than seeing all this for the relaxing vacation and/or training module it could be -- as, in fact, everybody else on the ship has decided it is -- takes all this as some kind of, well, demotion. And, from there, decides to become what even the kindest HR rep would term "a goddamn nightmare."

So we end season 1 in a significantly worse state than we started: Ed, saddled with an admin who could at any moment poison his tea and yet still thinks he should have access to Ed's calendar; Izzy, attempting to both recreate his previous job and engage in a low-level administrative coup that wreaks havoc with everyone's work-life balance in the process; and Stede, who's fucked off to a conference without telling his team or remembering to charge his phone, thereby putting the whole retreat off schedule.

Suppliers are raising prices, stocks are going down, and the company newsletter is three days late. Disaster.

(But, completely uninvolved in this extended office drama, there's Ibrahim. He finally has a chance to shift everything in the hold for the first time since November, really get the crew in there to scrub the corners, do the regular repair work, it's great. He wonders if this is that "vacation" thing he's heard so much about. He loves being able to really catch up on all these backburner projects.)

(...This is his coffee pot.)

(...and okay, I have spent too long as an admin. Write me fic about Ibrahim the quartermaster instead, I want him drinking coffee and being competent, I beg of you.)

#NOW EDITED AND UPDATED so please reblog this version if any #our flag means death #unfortunate theories #izzy hands #edward teach #ed teach #the administrative nightmare that is Izzy Hands #the quartermaster of queen anne's revenge #ofmd oc: Ibrahim the Quartermaster #I've decided he's my new favorite #free plot bunnies #if you write it link it #do the thing

[mkayani]

Blossoming of the Mind and Soul: Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

Life had been looking better. A few months had passed since the incident. My boss had been hinting at me about a promotion. Something I had been hoping for quite a while. Even better than that, Isabella, Dimitri and I had been working hard to decorate the nursery for the new baby. Or babies should I say. Apparently, Isabella was having twins. There would be two miniature Izzys running around soon. What a nightmare. She joked about giving one to me as a birthday present as their due date fell right around the time. Despite it being a joke, it really made me feel a part of their happy family. I was feeling very positive and optimistic. And I hardly ever thought about my rose anymore. Except occasionally I would find that my hand unknowingly had wandered, hovering above the petals, feels the strange combination of chill and warmth radiating off of it. It was calming in a peculiar way.

I was in this position, standing in the company kitchen in front of the coffee machine, my hand a few centimeters away from my hip, when I was assaulted with a rather harsh poke to the right shoulder. I turned around to face Isabella, the great melon of town. The twins had turned her into a mighty pumpkin. I decided that I was going to be the one who would teach them to high five.

“What are you smirking about? You’re thinking something mean aren’t you?” Isabella gave me an exaggerated frown making me snicker.

“No. Of course not, Ms. Bumpasaurus.”

“Hey! No more nicknames! I get it! I’m fat! How would you like it if you were incubating not one but two babies?”

“Ok, I’m sorry. I had to. I came up with that one last night.”

“Very clever,” she said with an eye roll.

“Anyway, what was that poke for? There are gentler ways to get someone’s attention.”

“You don’t deserve them.”

“Rude.”

“Actually I came to tell you that Karla is looking for you,” Isabella gave me a huge grin.

“Oh. Oh my. Is it happening?”

“Go and find out!”

I nodded and immediately jogged over to my boss’s office. I peered inside the door and saw her flipping through an endless pile of papers. I knocked lightly on her door to get her attention. She looked up with an annoyed look on her face, but her expression quickly changed on she saw it was me.

“Oh! Come in, come in! I was looking for you.”

“Yeah, Iz…ummm, I mean, Isabella told me.”

“Well, have a seat,” Karla said with a smile.

I sit down, anxiousness running through me. Karla laughed.

“No need to be so nervous. We’re just going to have a friendly little chat. So how have you liked working here?”

“I’ve liked it. It’s nice.” I wringed my hands together. Karla was right about not needing to be nervous, but I couldn’t help it. It was really the anticipated promotion I was worried about, but more so I felt uneasy sitting in front of Karla.

“Good. That’s good. Well, I can see you aren’t in much of a mood to talk to me. So I’ll make this short. You’ve been working very hard lately and I am very glad to have you a part of the team. I think you would be great in a more leading role. Although you are a bit more reserved, I’m sure having a higher position would help you open up more. So with nothing further to do, congratulations! I’m promoting you to chief administrator if you are to accept.”

“I…I do! Thank you! Thanks a lot!”

“Well then! Let’s get some paperwork going?”

Karla brought out several sheets of papers and had me read them over and sign some. The rest she told me to take home to read over once more and make my final decision by the end of the week. Afterwards she invited me to go have lunch with her as her treat. Not wanting to be impolite I agreed and we headed to a nearby restaurant.

I sat seated in front of Karla, feeling as awkward as ever. I liked Karla but she seemed so distant. Her eyes seemed lifeless and it intimidated me. Not to mention the shiver I felt whenever I saw her shriveled up rose on her ankle.

“What going on in your mind?,” Karla asked me.

“Oh. Nothing.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you who the lucky person is.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, I know you’ve been trying to hide it, but I couldn’t help but notice that,” Karla said, tilted her head forward slightly and looking at my hip.

Suddenly I felt very exposed and even more tense than before. I yanked my shirt down even though I was already covered completely.

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just curious.”

“It’s…complicated,” I responded with my head hanging down.

“Well, I definitely know how that feels.”

And then on the verge of making things even more awkward, I decided to ask the taboo question.

“Karla, if you don’t mind me asking, what was your story?”

That definitely caught Karla by surprise. She took in a sharp breath and straightened up, her eyebrows furrowing. And then sorrow consumed her face.

“The story is no secret.”

“Yes, but if you’d be willing to share it, I’d like to hear it from you.”

“Well, I was born with my rose. All my life I felt so proud to have my flower before anyone else. But then I got older and people started saying things, teasing me. Everyone would laugh at me. The girl whose soulmate is her own mother. What a joke, right? So I became ashamed of my flower. I would yell at her. Almost everyday. More than once usually, too. For little things. I would tell her how I couldn’t wait to get away from her. And I did. I left a soon as I graduated high school. And I never turned back. I met my husband. We planned our wedding. I was happy I would have a real soulmate. But I didn’t understand the meaning of the word. Not until it was too late. The day of my wedding, I got a call. My mother was sick and she wanted to see me. I hung up. As I was saying my vows, I felt it. It was like my heart had been ripped out. My breath caught in my throat. And I knew. My mother had passed. I remember looking down and seeing the first petal fall. At that moment, the world seemed so empty. And I felt so alone. I finished my vows and was married. Bittersweet, would be an understatement. I was happy to be a part of my husband’s life but I realized the difference between a romantic love and a soulmate. My mother, my soulmate, was someone who always kept me grounded to the world. Who believed in me. Who gave me courage to keep going. She was the one person who truly understood me. But I couldn’t do the same for her. And now I never can.”

Karla was crying. Streams of tears coated her face. Her breathing was shallow. I had never seen her so vulnerable. I reached over and squeezed her hand.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No. No, it’s fine. I’m glad you did. I hope if anything this story will help you. Don’t let confusion and fear get in the way of your bond with your soulmate.”

Karla smiled at me. Genuinely. And I was moved by her openness, but what she was saying couldn’t help me. Because I didn’t even know who my soulmate was. And likely I never would.

#original story #writing #soulmates #stories