#that's his fucking name wtf

[thelaststarship]

Seeing all this stuff about Ghost from Modern Warfare had me feeling nostalgic for the good old day on MW2 from 2009-2012. I put probably a thousand hours into that multiplayer. The campaign was solid. So it's really cool to see people talking about these characters again, even if they are from the new games.

But, uh...I'm now learning that Ghost is some guy named Simon?

I was always in the Ghost=Gaz camp, and I'm not seeing anyone on here talk about it.

Gaz is one of your squadmates from Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (2007). He gets shot at the end of the game by the big bad. The same voice actor, Craig Fairbrass, plays Ghost in Modern Warfare 2 (2009).

I like the idea that Gaz was either:

a) brought back from the dead and went back to work as a special ops guy, or

b) somehow survived getting shot in the fucking head by a desert eagle and went back to work as a special ops guy

...but now he's got a cool ghost mask on. And all his friends agreed to call him by his awesome nickname, since, ya know, he got shot in the fucking head.

But now he's just some dude named Simon. These kids don't know how good we used to have it.

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod #modern warfare #mw2 #cod mw2 #call of duty ghost #simon ghost riley #that's his fucking name wtf #cod mw #modern warfare 2 #modern warfare 2 (2009) #soap mctavish #captain price #people are thirsting after these characters now that's hilarious to me #the second game is fucking amazing (the one from 09) but mw3 was not the greatest conclusion

[goopyknife]

going backwards through my art folder, this is my FIRST bg3 fanart

#your honor hes just a little middle aged guy ok #gale i love you #and your creaky knees #bg3 #gale dekarios #dont ask me why i always tag astarion as astarion and gale with his full name #i just live like this #anyway where was i #digital art #digital doodle #jupart #wtf else #erm #HOLY FUCK ITS 1:30AM (not when this post will go up #) i am queueing things #bg3 fanart

[manitapaleta]

listen,….. we don’t know y hermie didn’t grow up with his dads but i already know its going to DEVASTATE ME when anthony tells us bc i know they would have loved the little joker, our sweet little thespian (also big brother nick hellooooooo)

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #dndaddies #jodie foster #scam likely #hermie the unworthy #scam actually #nick close #nick foster #nicholas foster #nicholas close #scodie #idk wtf is their ship name someone help #my art #wasn’t originally gonna make a lil comic but then i was like what if they didn’t tell nick and he comes home one day to hell and hermie is j #just there and everyone’s like o FUCK WE DIDNT TELL U LOL #also the idea that hermie is just now learning of his true family and he has a uncle and brother and two dads he’s never met but (i hope i b #believe i want it to be true) they love him v v much and the thought of nick meeting hermie and immediately taking on a big brother role mal #makes me wanna CRY bc he’s already taylor’s friend and yeah he said trust no one but he’s good to his son and he’s his baby brother who he’s #never met but what if he just feels v protective over him bc he’s been thru so much already and is now having an identity crisis bc WHO IS H #HERMIE??? like idk it’s a bit melancholic to think abt what if they were in each other’s lives??? how would have nick been as a big bro??? #sigh it’s 2am and i have work in 5 ish hours but i just had to get this outttt

[pepperpixel]

- IM A MAGIC MAN -

Betty and magic man art!!!! Cuz!!!! Look me in the eyes and fuckin TELL me these two were not a fucked up / death spiral / make each other worse duo… you CANNOT!!! THEY ARE THE SAME!!! THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!! IN A WAY NO ONE ELSE POSSIBLY COULD… and! I just rlly wanted to draw them ghghg- cuz! I think there whole thing is interesting! Complicated as hell! Yes! But also interesting! Also made an extra meme thing w em too:

#adventure time #betty grof #magic man #normal man #king man #at magic man #adventure time magic man #doodles #THIS GUYS FUCKING NAME… bane of my existence… #I wanna like. scour the internet for any old fan content of him but it’s SO DIFFICULT… cuz of his stupid fucking name!!! #but uh. yeah anyway… THESE TWO ARE SO INTERESTING TO ME IM SORRY #cinematic parallels… they are dealing w the same fucking shit. #they can see themselves in each other… but they hate themselves… #it paradoxically makes them both viscous w each other yet also having this solidarity and understanding!!! #and I love that!!!!! #i wanna kno wtf they were doing together when they weren’t on screen!!!! how did they meet!!! what got them to first work together!!! #it’s so interesting!!!! I kno I keep repeating that but it’s cuz it’s true ghfh- #ignore the lil bar at the bottom of the meme image it’s from my phone ghg #I guess they probably first met and stuff cuz of Betty’s research into wizards and stuff actually.. that mystery has been solved ghgh #but STILL… I wanna… I want more of them interacting they like scratch an itch in my brain idek how to describe it ghg #also if… any of the words or tags in this post make no sense… it’s cuz I wrote all this after drawing for like 8 hours straight.. #also I refused to turn my music off while trying to write which. didn’t help ghgh- #I stand by the fact that these two have an extremely interesting dynamic that I want to see more ppl talk about tho! #I just. feel there’s a chance I probably didn’t articulate my thoughts on it well on account of my brain being mush ghghg #also n regards to the ‘make each other worse’ thing. I actually think after U Forgot Ur Floaties magic man is actually trying to help Betty #he just fucking sucks at it gHG- but he is trying! #I kinda think betty is trying to be nice to him too honestly… like even tho bringing up trying to save margles is actually SUPER fucked up #I think it IS betty trying to be nice to him.. like ‘ur my friend! I’m gonna save my guy. we can fuckin save ur guy too…’ like!!! #these 2 are both trying to be helpful in there own ways but they both are fucking dog shit at it ghgh-

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first three are written in Hindi. The fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Tamil there, much less any other South Indian language. Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

#long post + more tags that kinda spiral away BUT expand on the points above AND kinda puts everything together concisely #BROS THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOD ESSAY #THAT HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY HEART FOR A WHILE NOW. SIMMERING FOR MONTHS BEFORE FINALLY BOILING OVER IN THE LAST WEEK #genuinely hope you read MOST of it because yes it has Quite A Lot Of Exposition but it all matters nonetheless #put in a lot of thought into this so i expect you to do your part and challenge your thoughts as well #you see how i'm not asking for you to listen to me. but to actually Think. i want you to cook your thoughts and add some spice and flavour #and give it a good mix so you can come out of this a little more wiser than before #because!!! yeah!!!! spider man india is just that!! he's indian!!!!! we don't need to collectively agree on where he comes from #bc it gets rid of that relatability factor of spider man. at the most basic level #think of it as a schrodinger's. he is every single culture and none of them at the same time. therefore none of us are wrong!! sick!!!! #pavitr's first priority is making sure HIS PEOPLE are safe. that's probably as far as we can go that relates him back to peter parker spide #he loves his people and working in the name of justice to FIGHT for HIS PEOPLE is just the duty/responsibility he takes up #it makes sense that he loves everyone and every culture he engages with bc that's the nature of spider man i suppose #if peter parker spidey acts as the guardian for the regular folk.. then in my mind pavitr spidey stands as the bridge uniting the people #because society as its core is very fragmented. and having pavitr act as a connection to other folks.... mmmmm beautiful #that's what i'm talking abouttttt !!! #anyways guys this is literally 3001 words on my document EXCLUDING THE TITLE. THAT'S 7 PAGES AT 11pt FONT. i'm literally cryingggg wtf #pavitr prabhakar #spider man #spider man india #desi #desiblr #atsv #across the spiderverse #atsv pavitr #indian culture #india #desi tumblr #what the fuck do i tag this as #agnirambles

[alphabetboyluvr]

just read the new yu chapter and i can't stop crying

i'm literally

i really thought they-

*sobs*

i just think they needed a little more room to grow away from each other!! their brains still needed a little time to develop!!!

i know exactly what i think happens after the chapter ends tho he he

#neva obv has to fly back to london #and jungkook goes to ny #but they're both a little restless about things and how it was left #cassie visits neva the next weekend and she's like neva u do realise that the universe is trying to force u two together right?? #and so she's like :( fuck :( #pulls a sickie #grabs a last minute flight to ny #and is like #if it's really fate then ill bump into him #but cassie is like ur so dumb so messages jungkook like ok don't freak out but neva is gonna be in NY this weekend and he's like ??? #but then cassie is like that's all I can tell u soz #so jungkook is like right.... ok. wtf am I meant to do with this. #but he's also like #if i was neva #where would i go...... #but is like stumped cause she's never been to ny so the possibilities are endless so he's like fuck it #checks flight maps and works out when she arrives (aka the only flight from London that aligns with the time she left) and goes to arrivals #has a lil sign with her name on it :( #tweaks his brows when he spots her #and has a little smirk on it face #says smth dumb like u could have just sent a text #and she's like.... why r u here..... #and he's like... me??!! why are YOU here???????? #and anyways they spend the weekend in luv and making up for lost time and they're both confused about how it's gonna work #and it's gonna be hard!! #a lot of those damn you up? texts #and it's gonna take a lot of effort!! #but they're gonna do it!!! #third time lucky <3333 #they'll elope in ny one random weekend when she's visiting and not tell anyone about it not even cassie or jimin

[moderndaypandora]

Got tagged by @notallsandmen for a WIP paragraph game, and I’m incredibly flattered, considering ... this doesn’t feel on the level of fic, this is fun little sketches of dialogue at most. But this is what I had, so here’s more of the mortal dreamling silliness (previous bits: modern day mortal dreamling and newlyweds with ravens)

How Hob asked Johanna to be his witness for his wedding:

He texted her asking if she was free that afternoon, because he needed her for something.  Historically "something" has meant anything from "taste-testing 3 different scone recipe variations to figure out the best one" to "hustling drunk pricks at darts". Likewise, Hob has done her favors ranging from picking up tampons to providing an alibi. In theory there is a ledger of favors owed, but in reality there will never be a balancing of books (because they're best friends, even if Johanna is too prickly to admit it and Hob is too smart to).

Johanna texted back "yeah, what's up?", and practically broke a land speed record pressing "Call" when she got the response.

Johanna: what the fuck kind of text exchange is confirming I'm around and then sending "getting married today, hello, witness!" and a selfie of you and some goth twink?

Hob: it felt pretty self-explanatory

Johanna: last I'd checked, you weren't even seeing anybody!

Hob: things change?

Johanna: I got dinner with you 5 weeks ago, you bastard, and you were single then.

Hob: ... things change fast?

Johanna: how the fuck did you even meet him?

Hob: I was running back from class during that awful rainstorm last month, and he was just outside my tube station.

Johanna: Hob.

Hob: His umbrella'd broken and he was soaking wet, and he looked absolutely miserable, poor darling.

Johanna: ...

Hob: So I offered him towels and dry clothes, since my flat was just up the road. And by the time the rain stopped I knew I wanted to marry him, and he said yes.

Johanna: what lunatic just follows strange men home?

Hob: he was pretty suspicious until I gave him my phone so he could text my address to his sister.

Johanna: and she was somehow fine with it, like 'yeah, go on'?


Hob:

Hob: he got a bit distracted by my phone background and never actually texted her.

Johanna: the fuck

Hob: you know Julian of Norwich is gorgeous

Johanna: your cat is a lesser demon escaped from hell. I'm going to exorcise your cat someday

Hob: Jules is a sweetheart. She doesn't even hunt birds!

Johanna: That thing won't kill any of the bloody birds in your neighborhood because she's saving all her energy to someday murder me and you know it.

Hob: ... undeserved paranoia about my extremely photogenic cat aside --

Johanna: WELL-deserved!

Hob: --will you be my witness?

Johanna: Left it a bit late, if you're asking me today. Did everybody else say no?

Hob: Didn't ask anybody else. Been planning to ask you since Dream said yes, but I figured if I gave you too much notice you'd flee the country.

Johanna: [tearing up, because even if you're an independent badass, it's nice to hear you're somebody's person] you're fucking right I would.

(Johanna's custom ringtone on Hob's phone is from Sweeney Todd, the final verse in Johanna where you can hear the body drop ("Wake up, Johanna, another bright red day"), because Hob and Johanna are black-hearted bastards/absolutely in cahoots with each other and think it’s funny. Hob's ringtone is Being Alive from Company ("Somebody need me too much...").  Sondheim all the way, motherfuckers)

#dreamling #hob is a medievalist and he would name his cat after an anchoress #i don't make the rules except when i do #johanna: wtf do i even wear to be a witness #hob: idk nothing obviously bloody or stained? #johanna: mm. what are you wearing? #hob: khakis and a button up #johanna: not the high-waisted ones right? #hob: there is nothing wrong with them #johanna: you're going to look like the slutty professor wannabe you are #johanna: and i bet you're going to roll your sleeves up #hob mid-sleeve roll: can't i look nice for my future husband? #johanna: yeah nice. not Mr April from an Academia Gone Wild calendar #hob: ... how am i supposed to take that #johanna: as a suggestion to look like a respectable spousal candidate #hob: we got engaged on less than 24 hours' acquaintance #hob: there is no chance of respectability #johanna: jesus fucking christ #johanna: you're paying for all my drinks at the reception #hob: by reception do you mean at the pub afterwards #johanna: clearly you prick. and it's going to be decent liquor. none of that bottom shelf swill #hob: we are celebrating my marriage afterall #johanna: [groaning] text me the address and don't give me any shit when i show up with a flask #johanna: you absolute bastard #hob: <3 #dream is 'sir not appearing in this sketch' because he had to go back to his flat and get his own appropriate clothing #and also provide proof of life and zero mental impairment to death #because she was still hoping it was a joke/she could talk him around to waiting longer

[justabackroundcharacter]

Dose anyone else have this experience:

You are working on a story with someone else

Everything is going fucking fantastic and then….. you accidentally unlock an OC that had literally no purpose in the story but now the fucked up little character lives in your head rent free!?! Like what IS THAT

#personal rant #this man I STG #HES A VILLAN #He loves his partner #they are both evil #and very fucked up people #also we call him right hand rn #I know everything about this mans BUT NOT HIS NAME #I’ve never experienced something like this before #I’m insane #it’s fine #the fic is cursed #the person writing with me watched me develop this man as an oc in real time #never done that before #it’s just idk #wtf

[hijinxinprogress]

I like the Tim drake loves coffee thing but you’re telling me this unhinged maniac is drinking the same amount of caffeine as regular civilian college students?? I’ve made some weird shit with an espresso machine but Tim??? I don’t know what’s in that man’s cup but it’s not coffee are you seriously gonna tell me this kid was chasing after Batman at 3am when he was in elementary school after a couple cups of coffee?? I mean I’d believe you if you told me he was hopping rooftops after mixing energy drinks (my guy got sad, made an underground mad scientist lab, and then tried to recreate his dead friends a couple hundred times with a homemade cloning machine) and an entire coffee pot is too tame of a choice for the maniac who’s favorite pizza toppings include artichoke hearts so I promise you if that mf has a cup it’s not coffee, it’s a zesti and at least six different energy drinks because he’s a fucking weirdo like he probably carries a 76 oz travel mug full of that shit and one time Bart drank out of it and everyone else on young justice refuses to let Tim hand Bart any sort of beverage and he claims he doesn’t have a problem bc he drinks tea and it’s herbal tea that’s surprisingly not overly sweet bc he and Alfred are both tea snobs so there’s no tea that costs less than $3000 in either of their cabinets

#tim drake #young justice #kon kent #bart allen #red robin #batman #My guy is mixing zesti with monster bang redbull five hour energy and rockstar #You draw the line at pineapples?? Wtf are artichoke hearts Timothy??? #And I think his favorite food is shepherds pie like my guy what are we doing stop #Once Cassie said she was thirsty so Tim tossed her his thermos and after a sip she fucking collapsed from like 300 ft in the air #Bart had a single cup he was smelling colors for a week #He changed his name to red energy for a week after losing a bet #Everyone thought he was Anita’s sidekick 💀

[apple-of-my-pie]

hands down the best part of the unspoken name for me was looking at the blurb on the back cover, thinking ‘what the hell is an evil found family?’ and then reading the book and going ah. I see

#csorwe tal and sethennai’s Dynamic cannot be described better #evil wizard and his two lieutenants who hate each other so so so bad #one is loyal in a dutiful knight way but also he saved her life and she owes him. and he’s like her dad but he’s very much not like a dad. #and he values her mostly for her ability to perform tasks but that’s the way she’s always been treated. at least w him the task isn’t death #and the Other one is loyal bc 1) wtf Else is he gonna do w his life 2) he wants to fuck his evil wizard boss so bad it makes him look stupid #evil found family of all time methinks #i didn’t even finish the book lol #the unspoken name #bay’s originals

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

made a little zine abt some of my favorite things in my room :]

#zine #mini zine #my art #i didnt explain the paul thing very well bc i had limited space. essentially tbis dude called me like six three in a row when i was hanging #with my friend #i got annoyed and answered to tell him he had the wrong number. despite this he called back AGAIN. hing uo after being told again he had #the wring number THEN TEXTED ME GOING 'wrong number this is paul' #LILE BRO WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME WHO YOU ARE IF ITS CLEAR YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER 😭 #anyways my friend and i found this guy hilarious and we had a fucking insane conversation with him. we texted him a few times MONTHS later #and then he blocked me bc i wouldnt tell him 'who i was' or 'why i started texting him' which like. HELLO??? I DIDNT START TEXTING YOU #WHY WOULD I TELL YOU WHO I AM WHEN ITS CLEAR WE DONT FUCKING KNOW EACH OTHER 😭 YOURE THE ONE WHO TEXTED ME WTF #anyways i gave him a fake first name which for some reason wasnt good enough for him so he blocked me :// sad. #i dont even knoe if the pic i have is actually of him or if his real name is paul so *shrugs*. either way he now sits on my wall in the #mouth of a hippo picture frame #bc it reminds me of a funny time with a friend :]

[pulchrasilva]

Gryffon and Queen are qpps to me actually. I'm having so many thoughts about them rn

#just... oigh i love them yknow #also last episode is still making me insane #i think they should talk about what happened. queen was terrified and gryffon probably feels guilty #and i think gryffon should give her a fucking hug because wtf. why does he not remember being hugged #and then i think queen should start singing to soothe themself and gryffon #and then gryffon joins in and his voice rumbles through the both of them #and eventually queen falls asleep listening to him sing to them #SOBING I CANT #i cant do it i cant #gryffon and queen are besties agenda #also theres a ship name for them now!! #popshot #jrwi spoilers #riptide spoilers

[no1ryomafan]

Oh all the things I could possibly criticize or nitpick about the fact that ishikawa wrote ryoma having a partner just so takuma could have a justified existence the one smallest thing I will always critic is that while it could’ve just been a arc anime thing her name was revealed to be “Ryo” and while the mental image of “ah someone at a tournament must’ve said they’re names and that’s how they met” is really funny, apart from the how uncreative of a name this is for her I low key wish her name had “Taku” in it just so it’s clicks that “oh they really named their son after their ship name” instead of “we need a name that isn’t just Ryo because the wife took it”.

#meg text #getter robo #also this would give takuma more of a crisis which is hilarious to think about #and make his mom that more fucking insane about ryoma because she’s clearly the one who named him💀 #granted if ryoma was around he would make up the worst name for his kid probably #oh and this isn’t a critic towards arc fyi because arc team deserves more love and admittedly I have hayaryo bias #but even if ryoma and hayato are meant to be friends I don’t understand why Ken wrote them having wives only to kill them off #hayato I know it was to prove a point and takuma it was to give him a motive but like- idk it could’ve been handle better #like maybe introduce them a bit more prior instead of just a couple pages in💀 #know for sure ryo wasn’t planned because she’s never mentioned in go #also wtf is the ship name even for ryoma and his wife for the small population who ships them? RyoRyo? Sobs

[evilkaeya]

"My six eyes tell me you're Geto Suguru, but my soul knows otherwise" GEGE AKUTAMI BFFR RN

#MY JAW DROPPED #I'VE HEARD THIS LINE BEFORE BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THE CONTEXT #NOW THAT I KNOW #WTF #AND. AND THE WAY GETO CHOCKED HIMSELF WHEN GOJO TOLD HIM TO SNAP OUT OF IT? WHEN HE CALLED HIM SUGURU? #JUST GOJO SAYING HIS NAME WAS ENOUGH FOR GETO'S BODY TO REACT TO IT #FUCKING. UNBELIEVABLE. #I HATE GAY PEOPLE HOLY SHIT

[ssreeder]

I am so bored and ive been meaning to find a way to harass you so consider this harassment ❤️❤️

This made me laugh until my side hurt. Great job 10/10 no notes

#seriously max wtf I know you’re funny but when did you get HILARIOUS?!?! #I was sitting there enjoying some tea and bam you hit me with this & I swear I laughed until my face hurt haha #these are so true #I feel so exposed with my server name being not the author hahaha #I keep forgetting I’m not the author haha #I’m actually writing so much DILF content next chapter I think y’all will explode #it’s seriously just dilfs and zukka #so like… fucking dream chapter #I swear middle aged men aren’t allowed to be this dramatic and this funny #anyway max I love that you made this #also I’m so interested how much people are talking about Zara #like it’s the moment everyone’s like WHATS THAT BITCH GUNNA DO???? #& I will say…. you won’t be finding out next chapter #sokka was DONE having her steal any of his word count #so he took it back with force #but the DILFs can share haha #also the … IS THIS HEALING?? #hahaha #every time someone comments on liab and says please let the boys heal please #I cackle because how they gunna heal that fast?? we need YEARS before we see a decline in level 10 trauma outbursts #so this squiggly path of healing is what you get haha #sometimes we’re UP & sometimes we’re DOWN depends on the day #anyway max stop being so great #& I’ll think about killing iroh #zuko really needs another thing for real haha #liab #ITF #maxxx #maaaxx #(​ I fucking HATE that I can’t see my fucking tags I am so annoyed)

[evilkitten3]

so i'm at my mom's and i decide to round up all the naruto volumes we have in the house (currently i've found 37, 45, 50, 51, 53, 54, 56, 58, and 60) bc that's where my brain is these days and i flipped through 'em a bit and like.

ok so in volume 53 (the birth of naruto) there's a flashback to the kyuubi attack and a bunch of people dying. we see naruto's parents (mostly kushina) monologue to him pre-kicking it, we see iruka's parents giving their lives for him, and then there's kurenai's dad.

"you're a girl so make sure you live long enough to give me grandkids" bro i hope the kyuubi got you and i hope it hurt

#naruto #we never see him again like. ever #i think he showed up in one of the databooks or something and that's why we know his name but. dude wtf #iruka's parents: it's a parent's duty to sacrifice their lives for their child #naruto's parents: we love you so much #kurenai's dad: make sure u live long enough to get knocked up #like i know it's meant to be referring to the fact that she was pregnant in canon at that point but like #the scene is set up in a way that implies that he's gonna die and that's the only thing we see him say to his daughter #what the hell man #also it's really sad that sasuke goes from genuinely caring about his teammates in vol 45 to what happens in vol 51 #like both times with karin specifically #when amaterasu hits her juugo just goes ''well she's fucked the rest of us should go right now bye karin'' #meanwhile sasuke cares so hard he figures out how to stop the fire that's whole thing is not being stoppable #then when danzou grabs her he's just. nah girl ur too slow fuck u #i mean i know a lot's been going on but yeesh man #like he saves her at least once (maybe twice? not super clear) in vol 50 #so. idk maybe seeing danzou's arm pushed him over the edge #naruto shippuden