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#that's a joke i love cows
daydadahlias · 11 months
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you telling the anon you pavlov'd us into thinking of you when we see cows its funny because i was walking home the other day and i saw quite a few cows at this field near my house and i was like "oh look cows, wonder how jess is doing" and kept walking land that was very funny reaction soaksoaksoaks
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you are all losers and fell right into my trap
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bovineblogger · 6 months
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not to be that guy but i feel like,, occasionally,, some of the cows you rate five stars,, are not five star cows..
i'll kill you.
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marc--chilton · 4 months
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house and wilson. but they are cats. warrior cats, if you will,
(bases by googaoo!)
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something tumblr loves to do is recreating the big bad straw man vegan because it's easier than reevaluating your beliefs and god forbid changing your habits, again and again and again and ag
#oh yes this is about the vegan to ecofasc post#so we are ecofascists because we do not support animal abuse???#get this. veganism is For the animals. first and foremost.#they are not objects. we do not own them. they do not exist to benefit us humans. we are not entitled to their bodies.#yes! i too used to say oh i could never go vegan. but it's not about me. it's about them. i dont want baby chickens to be ground to death#i dont want cows to be raped again and again just so i can drink milk from their udders wtf#i dont want whales and dolphins to be sentenced to a lifetime inside a tank with no contact with their kin#i dont want another ryder lying on the streets of new york because he was exploited so tourists could prance around#i dont want beagles or rats or monkeys suffering inside laboratories getting experiments done on them#animals do not exist so we can abuse them#i loved fried chicken too much and my favorite food was sushi and i didnt see animals as beings#and all i see now is the mass suffering that we cause and im ashamed and i wish people on this goddamn website understood#because when i was at the supermarket someone made a joke pointing to the dead bodies of baby turkeys frozen and wrapped up in plastic#and they thought it was funny and i would've thought so too before. and now it's just . a fridge with corpses. and we had no right.#and it's victims you're making fun of. it's not vegans.#now go post in support of all other social movements. as long as they're human-centered of course#vegan#boohoo to anyone and everyone getting mad at this or saying i missed the point . i did not .#the only time carnists reblog vegan posts is when said post puts veganism in a bad light. pleather or quinoa or almond milk or ???#oh but dont you dare compare humans to animals!! why the fuck not . antivegs will be the first ones to say animals eat other animals.#im so tired so fucking tired and it's this tumblr toxic troll behavior whenever veganism is mentioned
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laceratedlamiaceae · 1 year
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Stede Bonnet drinks almond milk despite the environmental impact because he thinks it tastes better than soy milk
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cowcowwow · 1 year
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Black cat bum bum bum bu bum bum
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samuel-is-an-idiot · 1 year
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Y'all I'm disappointed in this fandom... We all collectively agreed (and the fact that it's canon helped a tad) that Caduceus is a cow man and not once have I seen a fanart of a blow dried Caduceus Clay looking like one of those blow dried cows...
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daydadahlias · 6 months
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AHHH LOVE THE PFP BESTIE MOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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* moos back at you but sassily *
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bovineblogger · 7 months
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What do you think about Postal 2 cows? (If someone didn't ask that already ofc)
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VIDEO GAME: POSTAL 2
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PERSONAL RATING: ★★★★★ 5/5
wghy would you show me this.............. im so upset...
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burger-louise · 4 months
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this seems like something worth sharing. you know how we love to point and say "cows!" when we see cows? well, my family has a version of that that stemmed from a joke I made one time where instead of that, we say "oh look, a cow-ncil meeting"
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skelekins · 8 months
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Cross betrays the Noot Squad so they put him in a boo box and drop mini cows on him
youtube
edit: WAIT they call it the
MOO BOX
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dollpoetry · 2 years
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ya my parents don’t like my tattoos but everywhere i go, gals will stop me just to compliment them 
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biillys · 2 years
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idk something something billy hitting that thing w his car on that dark as fuck night, getting out to see what the hell just happened and staring at the seriously injured but still somehow alive remains of the thing and being like. what in the actual fuck.
what the hell is wrong with this town.
the creature whimpers pathetically but also growls whenever billy gets too close, and billy doesn't wanna like. fucking die or anything. so he makes to walk away. but then the dog lets out another whine, and turns out, billy's not actually that heartless, so he turns around and he picks that fucker up, shoves it on the backseat, climbs in the drivers seat, and realises he's got absolutely no clue what to do next.
he sits and stares at the cracks in the windscreen for a moment, already painfully imagining the rest of the damage that's probably been done to the camero's side and front, and lets the anxiety and shock set in. starts to tap his fingers on the steering wheel whilst contemplating best case scenarios becos, like. he's Fucked.
he's so fucking fucked.
"you broke my car, you know how much this shit is gonna cost me?"
biting his thumbnail for a second before taking a few deep breathes, he tries to come up with a plan. once his heart calms down a bit and his breaths start coming easier, he realises his phone's sitting right beside him, ready to call or google what ever he wants. the entire world and internet at his fingertips.
first things first, definitely not calling anyone. what the hell's he gonna say, "yo 911, i think i just hit some chupacabras fucked up cousin with my car, where's the closest vet?," fuck no.
googling though, googling could work.
turns out, googling 'fucked up flower face dog' doesn't get you many realistic results, and the creature in the backseat's getting quieter and weaker the longer billy sits there and does nothing, so billy flicks out of his search and brings up youtube, types in 'how to stitch up dog in emergency,' starts the car, and floors it.
neil and susan have already retired to bed by the time he gets home, which is good becos billy can't think of a single good explanation for this. he parks his car as close as he can get to the garage, opens the loud as fuck door as quietly as possible, regretting every time he shrugged off putting the WD-40 on the rusted hinges like neil asked, and drags the dog out as gently and as gracefully as he physically can.
once the dog more or less flops and falls out of his arms and onto the floor, billy grabs the first aid kit, internally bitches out max for never restocking it after her skateboard stacks, and up-ends the box onto the ground before finally stopping to take a look at this thing in the actual light.
"well, shit."
taking a deep breath, then two more for good measure, he presses play on the youtube video and hopes for the best. watches the key parts of the video a few more times before he grabs the things he needs, and starts to move in close.
the dog growls, showing a hint of teeth.
an entire mouth full of teeth.
"fuck!," billy falls back flat on his ass then takes a quick second to double check he hasn't just been eaten alive. finding all limbs and organs intact, he shakes himself off and gets straight back into it.
"what, you gonna stitch your own side up with those opposable thumbs you got?," his palms are sweaty and his voice nearly cracks, but mostly he keeps his shit together. "that's what i fuckin' thought, fuck me." he mumbles as he threads the needle, thinks that he probably should actually check himself out too.
ain't no way he's sitting on his garage floor playing surgeon, operating on a dog that has yet to be discovered by the entire scientific world, without some major brain damage.
a concussion at least.
eventually all the cuts that billy trusts himself enough to handle are stitched up and the wounds are as clean as they're gonna get and billys throwing away as much evidence as he can. the dog lets out a few more whines before it lies still and silent, but its chest is still rising and falling, so maybe billy's found his fucking calling.
idk idk uhh billy w his bff the demodog, which he names sunflower, cos she's got a face like a sunflower <3 sunflower makes decent progress, gets stronger and healthier with time, but the camero really did a number on her, so she never quite gets back to her full strength. billy tries to release her back to her natural habitat — aka, he opens the door — a few times, but she's not welcome back in the pack anymore, survival of the fittest and all that, so she just comes straight back, knows all of billy's regular haunts. billy's still none the wiser about the upside down, just thinks that satan himself put him on speeddial for petsitting, and who the fuck is billy to argue with that.
would like to think about when max finally discovers sunflower, which happens in like the second week, becos billy cant hide a full fledged fucking alien for shit.
very spiderman pointing at each other dot jpeg with billy trying to pretend he's got control of the situation and 'you can not tell anyone about her, do you understand?' and max going from fucking speechless to furious like 'can't tell anyone? can't tell anyone? i'm not even meant to be telling you about the demodogs!' cut to them both looking at each other in shock then 'demodogs?!' 'her?!'
anyway, eventually the yelling gets repetitive and aimless, so they begrudgingly decide to talk rationally like civilised siblings, and finally some information gets shared. max makes billy start, becos she's the one that's signed various government nda's and she is not dealing with the fallout of blabbing about this stuff without knowing what shes blabbing for, and then billy spends 15 minutes yelling at her for being stupid enough to sign shit handed to her from the fucking government.
so, billy tells her what he knows. which isn't much factwise, but sunflower wise? he's got a lot to say. she's his buddy. turns out, tacky fridge magnets were right, dogs really are a mans best friend. especially when they're not even a real fucking dog.
max is not chill with this. she's seen those fuckers up close, seen the damage the leave, the deaths they cause. fought them with her bare hands. seen what happened with dart and dustin.
she understands that demodogs can imprint on humans, but it's not enough, they're always gonna have their natural instincts and behaviours. living along side humans isn't apart of that, not longterm. she tries to rationalise with billy, make him understand the danger that literally the entire town's in just by this creature being here.
and billy hears her, okay, he fucking gets it. but he's tried to get sunflower to leave. not that hard, of course, but like, he put in a solid effort. straight up just locked her out of the garage. opened the door an hour later to see her laying in the shade, waiting for the door to open. watched as she picked herself up and wandered straight past him, settling on top of the pile of shitty clothes he's never gonna be able to salvage, and gave him the evil eye. billy doesn't even know if she has eyes but it was just the general vibe of it all, and that was that.
at some stage, you've just gotta give in, y'know.
reluctantly, they compromise. max wants it dead, billy just wants her to go to her home, that's why be stitched her up in the first place. so, they set up a plan. drive her to where billy originally hit her with his car, and hope she finds her way to a portal to go live free in the upside down.
they sneak out in the middle of the night, get her in the backseat, and drive.
it's a 7 minute drive at most, and billy drags it out to last a full 12 at least. max gets twitchy about it, constantly turning around to make sure sunflower's still there. billy gets tense. when they eventually pull to a stop, max immediately jumps out. billy rubs a hand over his face before getting out and following.
sunflower does not budge.
"it has to go, billy."
"heard you the first twenty fucking times, max."
they try. they both really fucking try. max pushes, yells, offers up her hands to sniff like she has a treat, like she'd even know what a demodog would like, nougat aside. gets more and more frustrated the longer they're out there. billy watches and waits, gives max time to exhaust herself, before crouching down and sitting against the side of the car, door open. talks gently to sunny, no raised voices or physical force, just waits her out.
she crawls out eventually and slowly lowers to take a seat beside him. max watches on with distrust written all over her face.
"can you chill the fuck out already? you literally just tried to push her out of my car and she did nothing to you. calm the fuck down."
"yeah, well, i figured if she hasn't attacked you yet, i should be fine."
billy stares up at max with a twitch of the lips, a barely there smile, the first one max has seen in days.
"you said 'she'."
max blows some hair out of her face and mumbles something about billy being a shitty influence before stepping in close, impatient.
"okay," she leans down and makes a move to grab her, "she's gotta go, billy. can we please get rid of her."
billy smacks her arms out of the way before max can fully grab her, bitching about how ‘her side’s fucked, shitbird, do you want her to eat you? fuck,’ and gently gets his hands scooped underneath before lifting.
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queen-of-the-boos · 2 years
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I bet y'all wouldn't guess I'm from the deep South huh
I'm a little tired of hiding that part of myself/being ashamed of it
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Skyrim giants yeeting you into the sky isn't a bug or a feature. It's about the anger these giants have I mean every time someone gets close they either get stabbed or shot or hit. So now anytime anyone comes close they just lash out out of fear. And when they finally win they throw you in celebration.
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daydadahlias · 1 year
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Just dropping in to say 'Hi'👋, and I hope you're having/gonna have/had a good day 🌟
don't tell me what to do
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