#that’s all I can say right now. lmao

[its-simply-rose]

His room mate would get so flustered... Your guy would definitely think your a good girl letting a pretty girl fuck your face as you hungrily sucked and licked her pussy 👌 maybe a couple of fingers inside her too... As he prepared your holes 🤔 OK ok fuck!

😩😩😩

#{answered} #fuck me 😩 #that’s all I can say right now. lmao

[timotheechalmet]

BONES AND ALL (2022) dir. Luca Guadagnino

#bones and all #taylor russell #timothee chalamet #trusselledit #tchalametedit #bonesandalledit #timothée chalamet #movieedit #filmedit #moviegifs #filmgifs #* #my gifs #i'm gonna be real with you all i can hardly hear right now so sorry if this is not exactly what maren and lee are actually saying lmao #i can't find a video with official subtitles please just smile and nod

[manglam-marfach]

dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden

#chilaios #that's a lie i understand breeding kink very well lmao #HOWEVER IT MUST BE SAID #they finish up a great scene. hot lesbian sex. all going well. #and laios lies back with her eyes closed. still flushed and sweaty. she rests her naked hand on her naked lower stomach and says. 'hah.... #'did you know ...that tallmen and halflings can have kids together?' Like its just another fun monster fact. #she's trailing her fingers absentmindedly over her stomach now. tracing idle patterns. #'with our lifespans being so similar it isn't even as big a deal as it is for elves and humans. they're even fertile and that's ... #that's really rare for hybrids.' her eyes are still closed. she swallows hard. She's more red now than she was when they fucked. #'you should talk about that next time you're in me. i'd like it...' and she cracks one eye open a sliver #to see chilchuck . BEET. RED. #because Chilchuck DID NOT. KNOW. #She was already fucked out and now she's dying?? she's dying. Laios still has her huge hand resting on her huge smooth stomach #miles and miles of soft skin...that she wants chilchuck to put a BABY in #she's thought about the hypothetical lifespan and safety of the hypothetical baby! is this just a sex thing? is this a for real thing? #chilchuck does not know and does not know which one she's hoping for now!! cause both sound GREAT #AND OF COURSE THERE'S ALSO #chilchuck remembering that conversaion next time Laios's huge huge fingers are inside her. Laios's hot wet breathing by her ear. #Laios's breathing going ragged even though no one is touching HER she is the one toying with Chilchuck right now. She always does that. #between the breathing and the fingers and the warmth and the smell Laios is all around her and she just thinks - #'Laios is so huge. Laios's baby would be so huge. I'd be so huge. Pregnant with it.' And she cums. #rattles her to her fucking core. Chilchuck who HAS BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE realising. holy shit. #i want this fluffy haired socially awkward 26 year old doggirl to . to fuck a baby into me. in a sexy way. #i think . I think it's hot. #enough to turn you to drink isn't it! #u may ask - hey how come chilchuck has a girlcock and has got pregnant? can laios get chilchuck pregnant? #does anyone even have a womb in this situation? I may answer - don't worry about it #a wizard did it. whatever. its a fantasy world. #whatever is sexiest in the moment i don't care #lesbiance

[moreaugriffins]

Every day i just want to write a post that just says "The Brigadier is so damn autistic."

but I then worry about what other people might say if I do that

but fuck it

The Brigadier is so fucking autistic, and nobody can change my mind

#classic doctor who #brigadier lethbridge stewart #'hes just like that because hes a military man' no he's like that because he's autistic and in the military. there's a difference #(please - we see so many soldiers in classic who and he's so different to them) #lack of expressions (especially s7) which caused others to comment his 'lack of emotions' in certain situations (he has commented that he #does in fact feel..) #the constant swagger stick with him (they arent common for soldiers nor officers to have.. havent been since past WW2 i believe) which he f #fiddles with and holds #stickler for the rules and hates disorder (things not being done 'right') #(thinking of the 'rules arent rules for alistair' bit from Daddy Fights Monsters) #his reaction to mushrooms in The Green Death. that's it. that's the point (he just hates mushrooms and so do i) #he's so.. military when he speaks even when speaking to civilians or when he's off duty. ik that's not much of a point but in the military #you're told exactly how to speak and interact with others and to be blunt and clear and to the point with your words. you're saying he does #find comfort in it? #and this man's strong sense of morals! my god. he can have quite black and white thinking in situations (so does 3 which would probably #explain why they butt heads often) and he is insanely stubborn #im sure i'll think of more things as time goes on but this is all i have for now #also im sorry i might be a bit tipsy when posting this but i really need courage lmao

[mattodore]

if i can get these hair ties to work first try i'll be unstoppable

#river dipping #blender #got home and immediately opened blender where i've been for the last few hours #i made some draft hair ties which were just circles i popped into s4s and tested in cas #took me at least four attempts to figure out how to get the uv maps to work but now that i've got it!! #i'm working on the actual hair ties i want. i just finished getting both hair ties all nice and snug with matthias's wrist #so now i'm onto the actual uv mapping and vertex assigning... #i'm going to make three packages one with both hair ties joined and two with them separated then i'll merge them into one #i'll also scale them down and fit them onto theo's wrists after #like... they ARE for theo's hair after all so he should get to wear them too lmao it's just... yk. matthias's acts of service... #gotta make sure he has them on him at all times so he can put up theo's hair for him #now that i'm thinking abt it tho theo is right handed unlike matthias... so for him the hair ties should be on his other arm... #i think you can mirror meshes right??? idk if i can't figure that out i'll just make new ones #...also hello <3 i've been offline for most of the day #would feel weird not saying hi here bc of it lmao #.....had to change the caption bc i was like. ykw maybe i shouldn't say that abt someone i don't know just bc they made something #<- tags typed after looking through the guy's likes on twitter lmaoooooooooooooo

[sweetsuke]

narukana bffs. you agree 🫶

#listen listen. theyre friends #i think they shouldve bonded more during the moonlight disco story #i think arashi should've painted kanata's nails blue with waterproof nailpolish #i think they would have fun “swimming” together too (kanata floating while arashi splashes around) #arashi would make kanata wear sunscreen lmao #omg now im imagining kanata cooking arashi dinner as thanks for doing his nails/hanging out with him/etc #it'd probably just be sushi or smth similar since he only likes cooking cold food + loves fish #but i feel like arashi would l o v e sushi so there's no problem there (if there's any story that says she doesnt please lmk) #anyways i also think arashi would love just like. venting/gossiping to kanata too because he's really chill and a good listener #like she can just vent without worrying that he's gonna try to give her advice she doesn't want #she's like “i had the *worst* experience with someone at my modeling shoot today” and goes on a long rant #all kanata says at the end of it is “puka-puka-ing makes all bad ”emotions“ float away~” #and arashi's like “omg you're right a bath *does* sound good right now” #they have matching friendship bracelets also. i think that would be cute #okay headcanon dump over for now #ensemble stars #enstars #kanata shinkai #arashi narukami #narukana #idk what their ship name is 🤔 #arashi x kanata #kanata x arashi #<- figured i'd go ahead and tag these even though i dont ship them romantically

[limbel]

nice! a customer said something so awful to me today that i spent 10 minutes crying in the bathroom

#he straight up made a joke saying i was fat right to my fucking face lmao #uhm what the fuck is wrong with people #like i understand it's not that big of a deal and im not even looking for sympathy im just #so fucking angry that i couldnt stand up for myself #years and years of fighting terrible thoughts about myself and body dysmorphia and all that shit just for one random dude to come to me and #just fucking destroy everything ive been working so hard for #i was finally starting to feel comfortable in my own skin and now i can feel all he insecurities and self doubt and shame resurfacing #and the only thing i can do is write everything here because im so fucking ashamed of what happened i dont even want to talk to anyone #fuck this honestly #shut up mila #delete later?

[good-beanswrites]

My translyrics for Salamander, written out under the cut :D

This one was much more difficult than the last, but I'm still very satisfied with it! 😤 I'm both sad that my version lost a lot of the fun soundplay of the original, and also waaay more impressed with the lyrics and vocals after digging it like this! I tried to keep it balanced between the original and Fuuta's version, though maybe it ended up leaning more toward the cover, idk. Leaving my specific notes in the tags 👍

Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?

"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.

It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.

I want a taste, but all this spice may prove more than I can take, (eh?)

Something's on your mind. So spit it out and tell me, don't waste my time, kay?

I'm hooked on this, pass me a dish.

The way I'm starving here without you -- it's a crime

A spicy treat, put on repeat,

Can I get seconds with the same heat? One more time!

Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?

"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.

It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.

I can't stop anything, although I wouldn't want to stop, oh no --

Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.

I want a bite, I can't help giving in to this new appetite.

Again, again, I want to be on fire when I get to the end.

We live too fast, we burn to ash,

I never handled spices well and it's a crime.

A spicy treat, put on repeat,

Can I get seconds with the same heat? One more time!

I want to burn bright red

I want to burn bright red

Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?

"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.

Tell me I'm not alone in my mind!

Salamander~ Look what's happened to me. This pa- passion's crazy

Tell me I'm not delirious, I'm being serious.

It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.

I can't stop anything, although I wouldn't want to stop, oh no --

Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.

I want to leave I want to go, but I can never stop, oh no --

Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #deco*27 #this time i can confidently say this is my fav milgram song lmao #literally the hardest line of the whole song was the very first one #still not 100% satisfied but compared to my dozens of draft lines its pretty good #i really wanted the 'po's to be within a word like the original and went digging through so many words with the sound in the middle LMAO #i wanted something focused more on heat/spice but alas it had to be passion -_- #there was very little space to get across the idea of 'its not a big deal right?' so i hope 'fine' conveys what i want it to hmm... #forever missing the sound of 'ripiccha itai/ piriccha itai' but the treat/repeat lines still worked out well! #so mad english doesnt have a nice onomatopoeia like 'fuu' :( #i needed to keep the long u to finish of the first stanza the long o in a few lines -- i absolutely love how arthur lounsbery sings those #my ace ass appreciates his commitment to singing such a steamy song so harsh and turning the seductive whispers into angry grumbling 😂 #me too man #the struggle of trying to write fun food lines and going 'oh NO that sounds even dirtier now' 😭😭😭 #i actually did record myself singing and i knew it was gonna be bad but it was Really Awful adsfdsfd so sorry #just take my word for it!!! it all works perfectly!!! #(once again if anyone wants to cover it hmu hehe :3) #oops spelled delirious wrong in my chart shhhhhh #lyrics

[bunnihearted]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[brittlebutch]

Desperately trying to make sense of Alex's motivations in Season Two and you know, I do eventually have to wonder if maybe Alex wasn't actually lying in the majority of those tapes.

Like, we tend to assume that Alex's motivations have been a consistent throughline since the college years, but do we actually know that that's the case? Do we know for sure that Alex was acting in deliberate, calculated ways in 2006; or could it be that he's telling the Truth on those olds tapes when he says he's blacking out and can't remember what's happening to anyone? After all, if we're assuming that Season 2 Alex's motivations are the exact same as his motives in Season 3, then it doesn't make any sense at all that he spend months working with Jay to try to find Amy; Season 3 Alex would have attempted to kill Jay like, on sight just to get things over with as quickly as possible and contain the spread of contamination as best as he could.

But, maybe, if Alex really had been separated from Amy after the events of the 04-04-10 tape, and if he really doesn't know where she is, then maybe that could make things start to make more sense. Maybe he really had been watching Jay's channel, and seeing Jay start going through the same things he went through in college without things devolving into violence and disappearances, and wondered if things maybe could play out differently this time. Maybe he really did send that tape to Jay to ask him for help, maybe he really was just trying to find Amy.

But then, instead of actually being helpful, Jay makes it extremely clear that he's a lot more interested in stalking Alex than he is in finding Amy. Alex asked for help, and instead there's a bunch of masked dudes on Jay's heels that keep attacking him, Jay is breaking into his house, stealing his things, leading the Operator right to him all over again, keeps trying to get other people (namely: Jessica -- if Alex is being honest when he says that his call reassuring her that Amy had been found was an effort to make Sure she stayed away from everything that was happening) involved; and instead of anything getting better, instead of anyone finding Amy, things are just getting worse all over again.

It's not until after the incident at the tunnel that things seem to start rapidly devolving. Rather than a calculated attempt to finally follow through with his need to curb the spread of contamination, this is very clearly an outburst of rage and terror. Alex's "I told you not to follow me" line in conjunction with Jay speculating that Alex didn't know who that guy was, to me, pretty firmly seems to speak to Alex having mistaken that stranger for Jay. From his point of view, Alex knows that Jay and totheark know where he live, have broken in before, he suspects that Jay stole a key to make it easier to get into his house, and he's been followed on the daily for months -- Alex is sitting at the tunnel because he doesn't know where else he can go without being constantly surveilled, hunted, and assaulted. And instead of getting a moment by himself to breathe, Jay followed him out there all over again (it feels like Alex looks directly at the camera in Jay's footage of him from this day; he knew for a fact that Jay was there), and then to make matters worse now 'Jay' won't even keep his distance anymore.

So Alex lashes out. And it's not until afterwards that he looks down and finally recognizes that this wasn't Jay -- it was someone completely innocent. Things have finally reached the low point he was at in college all over again; maybe even worse this time. If Alex doesn't remember attacking anyone in college, but he was at least partially conscious of it this time, then things have reached an entirely new rock bottom, they've reached an absolute point of no return.

He has no idea what happened to Amy, and he's spent months trying to find her with no hint of where she could be; he doesn't know where Jay actually is or what additional trouble he could be causing at this point; he does know that now innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire (in regards to the stranger in the tunnel, and also Jessica now that Jay has her phone number, and the untold number of people Jay got involved when he started posting videos to the Marble Hornets channel); things are spiraling out of control and there's no one left to ask for help. The situation isn't getting better, it's getting worse; things aren't getting easier to handle, they're just getting more out of hand; the negative impact is spreading and who knows how much further it can still go?

So, Alex decides to go scorched earth. He disfigures the body with the rock either to hide evidence or to make sure the guy would actually stay dead and not just get back up to start his own cycle of contamination in a few years. He tries to give Jay one last chance to back off, and Jay instead admits he's been talking to Jessica, acts obstinate and lies about not having Alex's spare key, and then breaks into Alex's house a second time (minimum). If Alex doesn't stop him now, who will? Alex met with Jay planning to kill the others, and then himself, so he could put a stop to this once and for all and keep things from getting any worse than they already were.

Maybe it makes a lot more sense if, rather than being a strangely incomprehensible detour on what should have been a straight path, the events of Season Two were the breaking point that put Alex on that path to begin with.

#N posts stuff #idk!!! I've been thinking a lot lately about the tendency to take Characters at Face Value; when they tell us things we tend to #automatically believe them despite what evidence we might have to the contrary. & like when it comes to deciphering what #went down during the college film project it's mostly totheark that posits that Alex was Definitely Lying and Definitely Acting on Purpose #(even Jay is largely ambivalent - wondering which way it leans and basically saying it could go either way) #but. do we KNOW that they know that? Do we Know that they're Right when they claim that? Or are they just Assuming based off #of their own rage and animosity towards Alex due to what happened? Do we Know for Sure that Alex Was Lying in s1? #i don't know if we do!! And so without Knowing that for sure; how can we speak to Alex's motivations in season one OR season two? #now TO BE CLEAR: I am not saying this in an attempt to claim that Alex is somehow completely innocent of all guilt and that like. #Jay is the 'Real Antagonist' of the series - not at all my intention. this is just More of my usual 'look. Everyone in this series is #all kinds of Morally Grey; no recurring character in this series is free of guilt they ALL have unique fatal flaws & trends towards #antagonism that makes things worse and dooms them all' shtick - a la 'everyone Thinks they're doing the Right Thing but No One Is' #BUT i Am wondering if this Does help to like. clear up some of the ambiguity/uncertainty of Season Two - and even Season One - and #lets the series as a whole read a little bit clearer? idk i know that Jay does Claim to think that Alex was bullshitting him #the whole time & was Actually planning on tying up loose ends the whole time but AGAIN it doesn't make Sense he'd wait so long #idk - Am i making sense? does any of this track? i'm trying to figure it out; i am open to comments on the subject to help #i haven't rewatched season 3 yet today and so maybe there's stuff in there that contradicts this whole theory lmao but i'm taking a break #and just posting this anyway; we'll see what happens lol #marble hornets #mh lb

[moeblob]

I started fanart today but my thumb kinda hurts so I can't finish it so take OC art I never posted as my 'art of the day'.

Melo (mute) and Lody (can talk) are the twin advisors to the demon lord Sascha. They're probably his two most trusted demons and they adore him and respect him. While everyone in the demon army calls him "boss", Lody addresses him as "my lord" or "our lord" if with Melo.

Their pink/yellow eyes are actually a link of sorts. Whatever Melo sees, Lody can see. Whatever Lody sees, Melo can see. So they often travel apart from each other to have a wider range of what's going on in order to help Sascha determine the wisest course of action.

#my characters #i wish i could post the fanart but it feels WRONG to post only two of the four characters lmao #they are friends do not separate if possible #anyway eventually reynold finds out the twins admire sascha and view him as a fatherly role #so he volunteers to be the mom since the twins want to keep sascha in high rank #and so when lody next greets him (while she is next to melo and sascha) she says hello mother #and reynold beams and is SO HAPPY and sascha is too shocked to say anything bc #reynold has joked or so he thought it was joking about adopting the demon army as their kids #and now one of his advisors just called him mother #there is something unusual about this and it takes reynold all day to click #so while in the middle of the night he just sits upright and goes YOURE JEALOUS ARENT YOU #and hes right actually...... sascha is jealous #so reynold convinces him to just tell the girls they can call him dad or father or something omg this is so cute #and sascha ... does #anyway sascha named the twins after finding them years before #and their names are two halves of a Melody #and they honestly adore their names and when reynold hears their names hes like that is #the cutest thing i have ever heard omg i love that you two have such cute names #and lody doesnt tell reynold that sascha named them but she DOES tell sascha that reynold approved

[fruitybashir]

I'm actually really wondering how Bojan feels about... everything, cause Kris is just in denial but he's clearly very deeply in love. But what about Bojan? Does he know that he is in love with Kris? Is he also in denial? I don't think he really knows but maybe he does feel it but can't place the feeling?

You probably can't really answer this without spoiling, but I just had to ask.

😌

sorry i started typing out two tags and then just kept going i shouldve just put this all here but now its too late argh. sorry </3

#well .... we will hear about bojans side a bit later but i can say that at least right now this very moment neither of them have fully #defined romantic feelings for each other? theyre definitely SO slipping into it but without even noticing it #ofc ofc you can all interpret it in your own way as well but from my perspective its like. hm. #not DEFINITELY romantic yet but a weird limbo between platonic and romantic that theyve slipped into and i mean we all know its not gonna #stay platonic forever lmao but THEY dont know that yet 😌 #but we'll get more into how bojan experiences it in a later chapter dont worry ✌🏼 #inbox #apfel07 #txt #chapter spoilers #like especially for kris i can say this: #him realising hes not in love with anja anymore / doesnt mourn the breakup anymore is HUGE and its a combination of #a) being forced out of his isolation that he put himself in after the breakup aka he is more social now he hangs out with the guys and #hes having fun and making connections and that helped him so much to get to this point #and b) the connection he has with bojan. developing new feelings (although hesitantly so) drew his focus away from clinging to what hes los #from anja #-> and then now that he stopped clinging to that loss those feelings hes starting to have for bojan have full freedom to develop further #so thats where hes at at the moment

[bylertruther]

some byIers be like "well, yeah everyone in hawkins from kids to teens to adults knew that will was gay and called him all sorts of slurs and made fun of his clothes and laughed at him but that's just because they had secret knowledge bestowed upon them by a higher power or something about him being gay. clearly it wasn't because will is visibly gay and does not act like other boys (aka is gnc) or fit in with them aside from his party who are also outcasts for different reasons. everyone knew that he was gay even though will has never tried or done anything with another boy, and it has NOTHING to do with how we're told in many ways that he does not act like, dress like, or like the same things as everyone else in literally under the first twenty minutes of this show. will is our conforming #hypermasc king who isn't ever scared of anything, has never needed to be saved (and definitely not repeatedly), never cries, never gets called slurs aimed at feminine men, is on par with hopper when it comes to being a manly macho all american man, and would fight anyone and everyone with pure ice in his veins. fuck you if you call him sensitive or acknowledge that he runs away and hides when confronted with danger bc obviously being scared and fighting in any not offensive&aggressive way is Bad and Emasculating and something to be Ashamed of. embracing will's canon traits is Bad and instead acting exactly like lonnie does is Good and makes you an exemplary ally btw. so is taking everything about will and plastering it onto mike instead somehow for mental gymnastics reasons that i will never explain to you bc i know it's dumb."

and somehow..... i'm supposed to respect some of u and ur opinions? 🤨

#rmr when i said tht will gets scared easily n is often scared and ppl got mad at me. #or when i repeated exactly what joyce said to hopper and ppl got mad. #or when i pointed out what the st bible says and people got mad. #or when i pointed out tht will never fired his gun. how he never chooses violence until it's his only option left. how mike is the one that #swoops in to protect and save him and he moves behind him. and so on and so forth. #and how that's all okay and there's nothing inherently bad or shameful in that. #but somehow THAT'S the Bad opinion. even though it isn't an opinion; it's literally just canon #and you can go and see it for yourself right now if you want lmao. #like.............. naurrrrrrrr idc girl i don't have amnesia or suffer from memory loss and also i actually #like this show n the characters how they are and wouldn't change them at all. not even s3 mike #LMAO #but anyway.

[anotherpapercut]

working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do

#yesterday i got really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point because this one little girl keeps getting really upset when she cant help me #like shell ask to help and i wont have a task (or ive run out bc shes already helped) shes capable of so i tell her that #and thank her for being thoughtful and helpful. admittedly the first time this happened i was really frustrated w her already #bc she had made a huge mess doing something i told her not to do and then didnt want to clean it up and she only came back #and asked to help because her friend had been helping me. so i was like girl. you didnt even clean up the last mess #but i also had nothing for her to do. anyway she started screaming and hid under a table so then her friend did it sith her just. because. #idk kids will see their friend freaking out and they do it too. and i understand it but my god. i dont deal well with really loud noise #and she did it again yesterday. i let her help me and then i ran out of tasks and she started crying and saying i never let her help #and for some reason there were like 6 other kids in there all wanting to help so then several of them started freaking out #and i could not handle it. i literally told my coworker like im about to cry right now lmao #and later the little girl was like wanting to hug me and talk to me and acting like nothing happened and i found myself wanting to withdraw #like i was feeling like i wanted to avoid her and not speak to her or be cold but i also knew i didnt want to treat her that way #and i took a couple minutes by myself and thought about why i felt that way‚ what the effects of that would be‚ and how the kid felt #and i really just had to remind myself that she was feeling just as many emotions as i was but that shes only had 6 years #to learn how to manage them and deal with them in a productive way. she wasnt trying to upset me. she wasnt trying to make me mad #she was just dealing with her emotions in the only way she knew how. and im an adult and if she can get over it i really need to get over it #long ass tag story sorry

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

When will this end, exactly?

Seriously, can I have a specific date or something because I've sure as hell had enough and am begging everyone to just *move on* already.

#i'm sorry nobody has ever heard of breaking the fourth wall #because that's literally all that was - judi dench reading poetry to the audience for several minutes #like you know they just use them as the thumbnail too because it'll get clicks #when i can assure you there have been SO many more movies with shit endings #but that doesnt get lazy views right? #we get it cats 2019 had its issues - but if you do not like or get cats to begin with #i think you should have your rights to say anything about this movie taken away #anyway lmao this is boiling my beans way more #extemporize backchat #like how many times had watchmojo used cats now as a clickbait thumbnail - too many #and yeah theyre *watchmojo* so who cares but they are playing towards an audience who very much #eats consistent cheap shots up - it's a consistent fuel of a fire that should have been suffocated years ago #because you've beaten the horse to death

[tchaikovskaya]

😜

ed tw in notes

#i committed to working out again (as of like a week ago) which I do sincerely need to do #but even post recovery I like. see muscles move under my skin and I remember what they looked like when they were so developed #and I had zero body fat then lmao. like Back In The Day i would be so thin I could look at this #*those muscles when I was even getting up from a chair. #I could see the contour of their boundaries (?) and even my ligaments/tendons sometimes. thru my skin. bc I was so thin #and when I look at my legs and arms move forward sometimes that’s all I can #think about. ‘u used to be able to see that move under ur skin but u can’t now bc there’s too much fat in the way’ #I should be talking about this with a therapist I guess but I hate all of them and I don’t have a billion dollars and a whole decade to spen #*spend finding The Right One who is a good fit and is trained in this stuff specifically and can actually help me #idk what I’m even saying here anymore whatever I’m just…. ugh fuck.