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#that might be for another different post
yeyayeya · 9 months
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@astra-blade-13 I accidentally deleted your ask while trying to answer it, but I at least copied it
astra-blade-13 asked: Please tell me about your Scáthach headcanons, this guy deserves more love
I apologize for the delay, as I was on a trip and didn’t have time to answer it before. Thank you so much tho! I really wasn’t expecting anyone to even reach out and ask my opinion on Scáthach as I said that on a whim, but I really appreciate!
This post might be a bit long, and these are just purely headcanons on my part, so none of this is exactly canon as I am just trying to fill in the gaps (also this is me talking a bit about other characters that I have headcanons for)
Scáthach, I’m pretty sure, is the more tame of the Ayra twins, so majority of the time he’s trying to get Larcei out of trouble because of how impulsive she is
I know it’s canon that Iuchar and Iucharba are head-over-heels for Larcei, but to me, they’re both bi and are ALSO head-over-heels for Scáthach. Tho they’re both really difficult to flirty with, as Larcei would probably yell and fight them as a rejection, while Scáthach would either ignore them or try to be nice on a rejection
I made a post a while back about Scáthach having a crush on Oifey, and that was his gay awakening
I actually don’t have a headcanon for his sexuality (although I do lean a bit more on him being bisexual) and to me it feels right for him to be unlabeled. Tbh i don’t think he would care
Other side ships for me would be Lana and Julia, aka childhood friends to lovers/princess & bodyguard
He has relationship experience, and has dated Lana before and dated Julia for a while, and still treats them as close friends even after their breakups
He is a BIG Lana/Julia shipper, and once he realizes that they have mutual feelings, he makes it his personal mission to get them together
Larcei to me feels like she’s very expressive, and wears her emotions very clearly on her face. Scá, on the other hand, tries his best to hide them and doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s feeling, especially when he’s either feeling depressed or is showing emotions that he’s not used to. This occurred a lot as he was more and more active on the battlefield
He especially tries to hide his troubles thoughts from Larcei and Shannan, as he feels they have more pressing matters than him
Relationship wise, I like to think he’s very smooth, and actually knows how to properly flirt. It’s not anything dramatic or over-the-top, but his flirting is genuine and it’s only to those he’s close enough to want a relationship with
He’s definitely more comfortable around women, and he finds it easier to be friends with them
He knows how to use a bow (somewhat) from Lester since they grew up together, and he and Diarmuid frequently spar together. He also somehow managed to be their wingman since he was always in the middle of those two, and he’s happy to see that his efforts payed off.
He crochés. Idk why but to me it’s just something that he would do? It’s just a calming hobby of his and he likes giving his works to those close to him
He’s a romantic at heart, and a sucker for romance novels.
He’s just very calm and patient? Out of the Tirnanog gang, he’s the one that doesn’t panic much in a stressful situation. You would believe it would be either Seliph or Lana, but in reality, it’s him
He’s a very hard person to anger and rile up, and it takes a LOT to do so. Unless you threaten to hurt his friends, and that’s when you’re dead
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tamagoneko · 2 months
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variety pack of boyfriend flavors ❤️💙
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sevenrs · 10 months
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so like
we're all aware that the religion practiced in rain world by the ancients (iterators, and some of the slugcats by extension) is heavily inspired by buddism-- karma, reincarnation, ascension that leads to enlightenment where the need for the life/death cycle is past you now because you no longer feel suffering
five pebbles tells survivor and monk to go west.
west.
like in journey to the west? the great classical chinese novel, an allegorical journey about human perseverance?
in a game that is so incredibly difficult that beating it would require persistence?
was this intentional? did videocult know this? why haven't i seen anyone talk about this before?
im losing my mind right now
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ghost-proofbaby · 7 months
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my little scaredy cat
request: [anon] i would love to see watching horror movies with best friend!eddie and reader instinctively grabs his arm and hides herself against him and it leads to feelings and confessions haha
warnings: none! except it's unedited, which would be scary if that wasn't 90% of my writing on here lmao
pairing: eddie x fem!reader
wc: 3.1k+
i had a lot of fun busting this one out. it's just so cute and certainly how i wish i was spending my halloween! also, rest assured, i am also eyeing the other request you submitting anon. <3 happy haunting, my friends.
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This was such a stupid idea. Such a stupid, stupid idea. 
You’ve always been a scaredy cat. Everyone in your friend group was well aware of it – you loved the idea of Halloween, but your poor heart just couldn’t take most of the frights that came with the eccentric holiday. 
It was fine, most of the time. If anyone had the urge to plan out a day at a pumpkin patch, you were eagerly accepting the invitation. If anyone wanted to bake any sort of sweet treats laced with pumpkin spice or caramel apple flavor profiles, you were already in your car and armed with the perfect recipe to help them. Someone wanted to peruse the decoration aisles of various stores? Wait no more, the perfect shopping buddy could be found in you. You, who could handle most of the trivial and sweet aspects of the holiday. You, who divulged in the more aesthetic side of it all rather than the scary side of it. 
Your distaste of being jumpscared or unnerved by gore and ghouls alike only really caused issues when it came to your best friend, Eddie Munson. 
His taste in experience of the frightful time of year was entirely the opposite of yours. It’s not that he didn’t like decorating caramel apples with you or that he didn’t find your choice in decorations cute, because he did. But he liked the terrifying aspect of it all – he liked the adrenaline rush of fictional danger. 
And friendship, in all its glory, is about give and take, is it not? 
Compromise. That’s what he called it when he’d begged and pleaded for you to join him in a movie night. Because the moment the suggestion fell from his lips, you both knew he had no intentions of watching one of your usual festive movies that only teased about the creatures that crept through the night. PG-13 films that didn’t really do it for him. No, Eddie Munson had insisted you join him for a movie night, and you both knew exactly what kind of movie he intended to play. 
You just hadn’t anticipated the scariest fucking movie you’d ever endured for the boy beside you on the couch. 
“Shit!” 
Your squeak is muffled over by the crescendo of creepy instrumental echoing from the small TV across the room. A cycle had quickly been found during this movie night; the movie would fall eerily silent as a tense scene arrived, you’d tense every single muscle so hard that Eddie could feel you shaking from the other side of the couch, and then once the jumpscare occurred and your small squeals were let out involuntarily, his own laughter would follow. 
“Oh, come on,” he coos a little, leaning closer to the middle of the couch, still a fair distance away from your figure bundled up in blankets that were being used more as shields than anything at this point, “That one wasn’t even that bad!” 
“To you!” you snap, yanking the fabric back down from your eyes only to glare at Eddie rather than look at whatever grotesque was plaguing the screen, “I’m a scaredy cat, remember?” 
And oh, remember he does. In all your years of friendship, Eddie had called you that nickname more times than either of you could count. He never meant it with ill will, but it was easier to tease you than to admit just how adorable he found your small reactions. 
Easier to tease than to admit just how badly he wishes you would seek protection or refuge from him during the scares he put you through. 
His face falls slightly, but he doesn’t let his small grin slip up, not wanting to give himself or his twinge of guilt away, “I’m sorry, kitty cat. C’mere – I can protect you from all the big bad monsters-”
Eddie’s opened arms are only met with one of the pillows you’d stolen off his bed to make the couch more comfortable. It smacks into the center of his chest with deadly aim and ferocious power, making him let out an exaggerated oomph. 
“Fuck you,” you grumble, adjusting the blanket around your shoulders now that the scare had passed. You almost tack on a comment about how he’s lucky you like him, because you would never endure this for anyone else.
Robin had tried. Steve had tried. Nancy had tried. They’d all tried to entice you in the scarier, classic Halloween experiences to no avail. Every offer of going to a haunted house, or attending the premiere of the newest horror movies at the local theater, were shot down before they even finished their sentences. 
Only one person could break your staunch demeanor on your limits. And right now, you sort of hated his guts. 
Eddie softens a bit, watching the way you pout and curl into yourself just a little tighter.
“Sweetheart,” he finally drops the cool guy demeanor, his voice gentle as he leans over with genuine concern, “We can turn it off, if you really want. Hell, if you want me to, I’ll put on something in your taste. Little Shop of Horrors, or maybe Beetlejuice? Those don’t usually scare you.” 
The offer is enticing. But you have a point to prove. 
“No,” you sit up a little straighter, square your shoulders with a little more defiance and faux bravery, “No, you wanted to watch…” 
You pause, and Eddie smiles softly as he supplies the title of his film of choice, “Poltergeist.” 
“Right, yes, Poltergeist. You wanted to watch it, so we’re gonna watch it.” 
Your stubbornness is admirable. 
Even when it falters. Even when another jumpscare has you ever so slightly scooching towards the center of the couch, no longer pressed to the opposite arm from Eddie in defiance. Even when Eddie spreads his legs casually, and you bump your knee into his thigh, the slightest touch bringing immense comfort.  
Once you discover that, it all seems downhill from there. 
A press of a knee against the side of his thigh turns into your side brushing his. Suddenly, the blanket you’d wielded like a weapon becomes shared. Moments where you try to hold up a barrier between your eyes and the screen cause slight disturbances in Eddie’s own vision. And then, it happens.
The thing he’d been diabolically planning for years. The one scenario he’d dreamt of every Halloween season, the one intention he’d held secretly every time he’d put your through endless scares. 
The one touch that could send him into cardiac arrest. 
He almost missed it, it happens so suddenly. One moment, you’re just curling up a little bit closer to him. The next, your arms fully wiggly their way around his bicep, capturing his arm in your grasp as your face buries into his shoulder. He can no longer smell the buttery popcorn or faint chocolate on his breath as you invade his space. It’s all sweet shampoo and subtle perfume that tickles his nose, skin against skin in a quick flush as he can hear the vibrations of your predictable scream against the fabric of his shirt. 
You hardly seem to notice the sudden entanglement of your bodies in all your fear — your knees practically in his lap and your torso clinging onto his forearm for dear life. You’re acting on instinct, seeking out humane comfort without considering what you were doing.
When you do notice, you don’t let go, only slacken your grip. 
“Oh, I-“ you stutter, pulling back slightly to look up at a stunned Eddie, “I’m sorry, that’s- I just- I was scared and-“ 
“It’s fine,” he cuts you off, eyes blown wide, “It’s… it’s fine.” 
It’s more than fine.
His heart races in a way no horror movie or haunted house could incite. Every nerve ending tingles, everywhere his body connects to yours burning in delicious warmth. He wants to spend an eternity like this — you, curled up to him, clinging to him like your holy savior. 
Years, and years, and years of wait pays off. Patience is surely virtue as those big eyes of yours look into his. 
After a couple awkward beats of silence, you whisper, “I don’t think I like Poltergeist.” 
Just like that, you have him laughing again. It’s slow and steady, a gentle chuckle that stirs from his chest in disbelief as he tries to thaw from his shock and yearning.
“You think?” he breathes out, tone not nearly teasing enough to cover up the shakiness. 
He swears he can feel your heart pounding against his shoulder. 
“Don’t be mean,” you start to scowl, slowly unfurling. But he stops you — angles his arm so you can’t slip your arms away as easily as before, tilting his head in closer.
“Mean? I could never be mean to you, my little scaredy cat.” 
“You’re literally being mean as we speak-“
And so, he decides to stop speaking. 
It’s impulsive and an even dumber idea than you enduring such a scary movie to be around him. But you look so fucking cute, his heart is tearing up his throat, and suddenly his lips are on yours in his largest spurt of bravery to date. Even more brave than the time he’d made himself a human shield between you and that dude with a chainsaw at the local haunted house, despite the way chainsaws actually kind of made him shit himself.
You don’t fully reciprocate at first. His lips are pressed hard against yours, tips of noses crushed and eyes fluttered shut, and he starts to believe he’s made a mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake that just washed years of friendship down the drain. 
Until your hands tighten on his bicep. Until that soft squeeze comes, and it feels like he can breathe again despite sharing the air with you. 
He breaks away for just a second, “I-“
“Don’t be mean,” you repeat your earlier words with entirely new meaning now. He opens his eyes and finds yours already pleading up at his face, glossy and desperate, movie forgotten. 
Those hands once squeezing his bicep let go and move to the collar of his t-shirt. Normally, he’d make a comment about you stretching it out, deforming the perfect fit that took him ages to wear in, but he can’t be bothered to feel anything but delight when you’re tugging him back in for another kiss. 
And the last thing he wants to be is mean. So he kisses you kindly, kisses you with all the care in the world that he had buried beneath his skin since the day he met you. Kisses you like it could scare away all the monsters that wait in the shadows. Like he’d lay down his life to protect you from the very frights he’d been subjecting you to for far too long now. 
“Hey,” he mumbles, pulling back briefly, “Hey.”
This time, his forehead doesn’t leave yours as he pauses the kisses. 
“God, Munson, I’ve waited for this God knows how long, sat through so many fucking scary movies, and you’re really going to-“ 
“Hold on, what?”
He’s grinning so hard, it aches. In his cheeks, in his chest, in the back of his head. Your words sink in and he relishes each syllable, even in your frustration.
“I- Uh,” you pull back suddenly, fingers still loosely tangled in his t-shirt, “I-“
“Enlighten me, sweetheart,” he insists, eyes finally fluttering back open to catch the embarrassment painted plainly across your face. You wear a nearly painful expression that only tightens as you know he’s watching you, “Just how many scary movies have you sat through wanting me to kiss you?” 
“Fuck off,” you sigh out, shaking your head a little, “I mean it. Fuck right off-“
“Cause I could probably give a ballpark number for how many times I’ve wanted to kiss you during them,” he continues on quickly, “Actually, I bet I could count how many times I suggested watching these fuckin’ films just for this moment only to chicken out.” 
Your eyes are open again in an instant. Sparkling with hope and realization of what he was getting at. “Excuse me?”
“Do you really think I’m that mean?” he scoffs, finally reaching up for your hands, surprisingly calm despite the delightful storm wreaking havoc in his chest. He takes your knuckles in his and lets his thumb trail right over them, “No offense, but if I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t have-“
“You like me?” 
Your voice is sweet as honey, bright and drowning out the horror movie still playing. 
He smiles, boyish glint and all, as he confirms, “I like you.” 
You put the first real amount of distance between the two of you since you’d started to cling to him out of fear, almost as if signaling that bravery beginning to bubble over in your chest, “You actually like me?”
“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?”
“No, I- Well, maybe,” you bite your lip, and he’s suddenly dizzy with the need to capture it between his own teeth, “I just… I always thought you might like someone a little braver.”
His nose wrinkles, hands still twisting yours in his, “Excuse me? I think you’re plenty brave.” 
“Eddie, you’ve said it yourself, I’m a goddamn scaredy cat.”
“So?”
“So,” you persist, shuffling so that your legs fold beneath you and you gain some leverage over him, “You’re the exact opposite. You love scary things. Not even just during Halloween, but year round. And you’re telling me you like me even though I’m a scaredy cat.” 
“I like you because you’re a scaredy cat, thank you very much,” he corrects you immediately, “I love the way you always need me to protect you. I know, I know — not very feminist of me. I’m sorry. It’s just- it’s really fuckin’ cute, y’know?” now that his floodgates have opened, he’s pouring out all the words he’s held back for so long, “And besides, you’re more than just a scaredy cat. You’re also so smart, so beautiful, so funny. Yeah, you scare easily, but you’re also the same person who is the first to put me in my place when I’m being an absolute little shit. And don’t even get me started on all the cute faces you make when you’re talking about things you actually like, or when you’ve been baking with Nance and have flour all over your cheeks-“ 
“Okay, okay,” you stop his rambling before he can embarrass you any further. Any more affection, and your face might end up buried in his shoulder again, “I get it. You like me.” 
It’s quiet for a few moments. The two of you only stare, both smiling stupid, the screams of whatever climax occurring in the movie not even reaching your ears. All you can hear is the echo of his words, of his admission. And all he can hear is the pretty way your breath catches when he gives a small squeeze to your palm. 
It’s nice. It should be more anxiety inducing, it should be more dramatic. Eddie Munson should be absolutely losing his mind right now because he just kissed his best friend he’s been in love with for ages, but he isn’t. Actually, for the first time in a while, it feels as though he’s finally found it — he’s found his mind, he’s found his peace as he’s staring at your shy expression. It just feels right. Like a sigh of relief from the Universe. 
“I like you, too,” you break the silence, unable to meet his gaze, “I mean, you probably already got that, but-“
“Say it again.”
“Huh?”
“I did gather that, but my God, please say it again.” 
Your eyes meet him, and another piece clicks into place. 
Right. It’s so fucking right.
“I like you,” you repeat yourself, a smile beginning to dance on your lips. He can’t help himself — he leans forward and pecks the corner of your upturned mouth, “I like you,” the repetition is music to his ears as he plants a second kiss on your cheek, “I like you, Munson.” 
His peppered kisses mark every inch of skin available to him, making giggles begin to escape you. You even try to hide from his onslaught, but it’s no use. He’s quick to drop your hands and wrap his arms around you, tugging you in close and trapping you against him as each kiss grows more obnoxious. Loud smacking sounds, deliberately leaving spit behind that has you squealing. It’s nothing like the squeaks from when you were watching the movie; these small noises are filled with a little more joy, a little more happiness that only fuels Eddie.
“Eddie!” you try to scold, placing two hands on his solid chest, “Oh my God, stop it. You’re gross.” 
“You love it,” he mutters with his mouth fully pressed to your temple, nose buried in your hair. That sweet, sweet shampoo intoxicating him.
You like him. He didn’t fuck it up. 
You finally go slack in his touch, succumbing and letting him place you in his lap, curled up comfortably as you sigh, “Yeah. Okay, maybe I do. Whatever.” 
“Oh, don’t act all tough now, kitty cat.” 
Your hands are curled back in the fabric against his chest and you share the wonderful ache he had been feeling in his own cheeks and bones as you look down at him with playfully squinted eyes.
When he ducks down for another kiss, you stop him easily, “Nope. First, I have a request.” 
“Anything.”
“Anything?”
“Anything. Name it, and it’s yours.” 
“Please turn off that goddamn movie.” 
He throws his head back in laughter that shoots straight for your heart. The kind of laughter that haunts a chilled autumn night as children prance the streets for candy, as teenagers get into mischief in distant bonfire parties, as elderly couples enjoy morning coffees over eerie fog. 
It kind of feels like home. It kind of feels like everything is as it should be, finally. 
“I suppose I can do that for you, my little scaredy cat,” he muses as his head tilts back forward, chest swelling with affection, “Besides, I think I know something we can do that’s a little more fun than watching the Poltergeist.” 
“Oh, yeah? And what would that be?”
His arms tighten around you as he suddenly throws the two of you to lay down on the couch, his body hovering over yours and pick necklace nipping at your chin while he reaches out to click off the TV. The weight of him between your hips feels even better than either of your wildest dreams.
Years. You couldn’t believe it had taken years for this, and neither could he. But patience is virtue, and he probably would have waited another thousand years for this feeling, truth be told. 
“This,” he says boldly once the TV buzzes in sudden silence, dipping down and continuing where the two of you left off. Two sets of lips fit together like the world’s easiest jigsaw puzzle.
It’s safe to say the rest of the night, any further squeaks and squeals you let out aren’t due to ghosts.
eddie's taglist: @capricornrisingsstuff @thisisktrying @hideoutside @vol2eddie @corrcdedcoffin @ches-86 @alovesongtheywrote @its-not-rain @feralchaospixie @cheesypuffkins87 @thebook-hobbit @babez-a-licious @eddies-acousticguitar @gagasbee @d64d-n0t-sl66p1ng @aysheashea @kellsck @cosmorant @billyhvrgrove-main @micheledawn1975 @eddiesxangel @siriuslysmoking @witchwolflea @tlclick73 @magicalchocolatecheesecake @mizzfizz @nanaminswhore @mikiepeach @ali-r3n
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averlym · 7 months
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litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)
#at some point i wanted to make an illustration for each character but in retrospect maybe each is multiple song-coded..#drew the sketch for a quincy thing after a chat with a mutual reminded me this song existed dfsghjkl and then spent weeks rendering this#quincy cynthius martin#adamandi#i'm finally done with this! the saints especially were joys to paint and the halo a menace.... this has been the most ambitious one so far.#but it also took quite long because i only worked on it <engages with quincy> when mentally okay to deal with the themes. i'm not religious#but i do identify with the irrational(?ish) guilt + family legacy + academic achievement + disregard for self. also more complex thoughts#about love [but depsite quincent being a large part of quincy's character this piece deals with mostly the Rest of it. so another time..]#anyways! in the original sketch- the saints had heads bent towards quincy so the halo spikes pointed at him. but this worked better! halos#of the saints implying/creating one for quincy was a concept from the start though. in the show they don't touch him directly here but#differences in mediums i think- i don't have time in an image to craft a narrative so everything has to be happening. also artistic liberty#misc inspiration for this includes stained glass windows. i might have maybe misinterpreted the saint costume but i think i logic-ed it out#as the cloth part following a nun's habit w the hood. and then halo above. the material is also more transparent originally but i had. um.#too much fun painting fabric folds.. if you look closely you can see the basis of faces though behind the cloth; but only the vague shapes#because smth obscurity + inhumanness// cassian is the only one i gave a mouth though. that stems from melliot's post about the saints and#st cassian as spokesperson (<- did research teehee!) that's also how i found out which costume = which saint. speaking of which.#left to right: 'st lucy take my hand' // 'st lawrence give me strength' (presses quincy forward; but hand on shoulder connotates guidance)#/'st cassian help me smile' (quincy's mouth is btwn a grimace and a smile; tilts up at side. also no direct touch bc added insidiousness.)#//'st jude [...] i hope your causes burn' (jude's hand is in two places to show movement- nearing the flame and then snatching back; burnt)#other notes: at the midst of the flame the core is shaped like a human heart /the saints and their wax are all melting like the candle for#fun visual effect and also this way they are even less tangible <real>. perks of painting as a medium i guess. // also insp from icarus?#wax and burning imagery; looking at the halo and rays as parallel to sun that burns. too close to the sun; melting; hurting; hurtling //#candles at bottom are a nod to the frankly gorgeous set// also the entire composition kind of stems from the lyric <what use is a candle if#both ends aren't burning>; the two sides between the concepts of catholic guilt and academic perfection that spur quincy#the halo above (saints and guilt; litanyofthemartyrs) and the 'halo' below (academic papers; insp from choreo for perfect at school)#the papers were originally supposed to be more glowy. but i like the idea of it now being a reflection of how quincy's priorities shift#also of note is that <candle> in centre = quincy; w burning candle + aforementioned heart in flame -> most human; idea of love + passion#last thoughts: kneeling + hands close tgt = prayer //wax dripping onto the red As make an effect that looks like blood. because i like#hiding that within the adamandi pieces :OO continuity!! // i've run out of tags but yeah! had fun with this one! every so often i go a#little insane in making art and the final result astounds even me. ngl i'm quite proud of this one. pretty colours <3333
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coquelicoq · 1 month
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as a huge unreliable narrator enjoyer i love the fact that the raven tower is narrated by someone who cannot lie. so the narration is not unreliable, and any kind of uncertainty is always couched in "here is a story i have heard" or "i imagine", but it scratches the same itch as unreliable narration because the evidentiality of the narration is still so central, just in the opposite way. stories that don't care about where the narrator is getting their information or what biases are present in the way that information is shared with us are on one end of a spectrum, and stories that do care about those things are on the other end, and the raven tower is firmly situated alongside the unreliably narrated stories even though the whole point is that the narrator is as motivated as it is possible to be to never say something that is untrue. and it's fascinating to see how ann leckie manages to build suspense and subvert expectations without really at any point deliberately misleading the reader. every time i reread one of her books, the bouncing of the dvd screensaver in my brain gets a little more frenetic. how does she do what she does. ann leckie what is your secret.
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Help for when you’re having a rough time
(If you're looking for my old pinned post with my whump masterlists, you can find it here.)
In light of some deeply sad news in the whump community today, I’m thinking about how many of us here struggle with mental health, sometimes including physical or mental self-harm and suicidality. Since I know lots of folks might be having a hard time right now, I wanted to share some resources that have helped me in rough moments. Please feel free to add on to this post (or make your own, if you want!) with the resources that have worked for you. 
First, a note:
Trauma, shame, and suicidality all tend to isolate - they make us feel like we’re all alone in the world, like no one else would understand us, and like the only solutions we have available to us are ones we can think of all by ourselves. In my experience, the antidote to that is connection. If you’re feeling scared or alone, you can hop into my asks or DMs if you want. I’m sure there are other folks in this community who would offer that, too. Many of us have grappled with mental health struggles, including suicidal ideation, and sometimes we can offer each other the care that can be hard to offer ourselves. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need support.
A quick note about location: I live in the US, but about half the resources in this post are written guides you can access from anywhere. The hotlines and warmlines linked below are US-based. One or two are accessible in Canada or have an online chat or moderated forum that could be accessed anywhere. If you have good local resources from another place, please reblog and add them! (Thank you, @straight-to-the-pain, for flagging this in the notes!)
That said, here’s my absolute first recommendation if you’re feeling generally awful and don’t know what to do:
1. You Feel Like Shit (also available at its original site here)
If you’ve read a lot of ~self care tips~ in your life (and if you’re a bit of a salty bitch like me), you might be sick of being told to eat something and take a nap. (I don’t think we can hydrate our way out of long-term trauma and late-stage capitalistic hell, but thanks.) That said, I’ve found this site REALLY helpful. Personally, I have ADHD and CPTSD, a combination that makes it ROUGH for me to know how to take care of myself sometimes. This site speaks to you calmly, like a non-judgemental friend, and walks you through steps that you might struggle with if you have a hard time with executive function in general, or if you’re ill, grieving, overwhelmed, or otherwise just off your game. I pretty much always walk away feeling at least a little better, even if I don’t complete every step.
There are more suggestions and resources below the cut. Wishing everyone in this community love and care. <3
2. The 15-Minute Rule (info available in many places; after a quick google, I really like this site as a place to start)
One key principle to understanding the resources I’ve put together here is the 15-minute rule. If you’re feeling an urge towards physical or mental self-harm or suicide, studies show that the urge is unlikely to last more than about 15 minutes at its peak intensity. (Sorry I don’t have data on this off the bat - anecdotally, I can tell you that this rule also tracks with my own personal experience.) This means that, if you’re presently feeling overwhelmed by grief or pain that’s turning inwards on you, if you can stay afloat through the next few minutes, the tide of it is likely to ebb. The site I linked above has information about this concept and some great harm-reduction ideas, too. (Another resource on this that I liked in my quick search is here.)
3. Read This First (a compassionate distraction from feelings of self-harm)
I’m gonna be honest; this resource is aimed at folks having urges towards physical self-harm, but it looks like something I would find helpful with urges towards emotional self-harm, too. (It also looks like it could be handy for body-focused repetitive behaviors - BFRBs - like dermatillomania/skin-picking or trichotillomania/hair-pulling).
4. Resources from Pete Walker, psychotherapist and author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
Obviously not everyone reading this will have complex PTSD (also called C-PTSD), but if you’re a person who, in general, tends to beat yourself up a lot, I’d highly recommend checking Pete Walker’s work out. If some of it doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay - take what you need, and leave the rest. This site (and the book it references most heavily) assumes you may have had parents who were emotionally or physically abusive or neglectful. If that doesn’t ring true for you, but other parts of the resources seem helpful, use them anyway! A handy place to start maybe this page on Shrinking the Inner Critic in Complex PTSD (that is, reducing the volume of the voice that screeches unpleasantness at you when you feel ashamed or scared).
As a note: this website looks VERY mid-2000s (which I kind of love). Most of the resources you want will be in the right-hand column full of links. Some of those links will open new pages, and some will automatically try to download a PDF of the article you want to read. 
5. Warmlines:
This is something I just learned today - if you’re feeling really lonely and sad, but you’re not in immediate crisis, there are warmlines you can contact! These seem to be numbers where you can call (or sometimes text) to talk with a counselor or trained peer when you need support and connection. I can’t vouch for any of these numbers personally, but as someone who has definitely thought, “It’s not bad enough to REALLY need help,” I think this is a fabulous idea. Here’s a list of warmlines you can check out in the US.
6. Specialized hotlines: 
There are lots of good crisis hotlines out there, but some may be better for your needs than others. For one thing, if you’re feeling seriously suicidal, it’s good to know the policies of the hotline you’re calling. In my opinion, everyone deserves bodily autonomy and the right to refuse care; for that reason, I think it’s important to know the policy of the hotline you’re calling as to whether or not they’ll call emergency services without your consent. Everyone has to make their own judgment call on this one, and I’m a little too (lightly!) triggered to go deep into my analysis on this right now, but I wanted to flag that it’s something to be aware of - if you’re going to call a hotline, you can try to look up their policy on calling emergency services before you contact them. You could probably even ask them in the beginning of the call. (A script: “Before we start, can you tell me what your policy is about contacting emergency services on behalf of callers?” If this is true, you can add: “I’m having some feelings of [suicidality/self-harm], but I’m safe and am not in danger of hurting myself or others.”)
With that in mind, here are some hotlines that seem promising to me, in no particular order:
A. For queer and trans folks in general:
Trans LifeLine
Available in the US (1-877-565-8860) and Canada (1-877-330-6366)
Available in English and Spanish
Will NOT call emergency services without your consent (you can read more about this policy on their website, including here)
Peer to peer support for transgender and questioning folks; also, microgrants (small amounts of money) for trans-related needs!
Does not offer text/chat-based support
I’ve never used Trans LifeLine myself, but I’ve heard excellent things about it from peers who have.
The Trevor Project:
Support from trained counselors for queer, trans, and questioning folks
Definitely available in the US; I’m not sure where else.
Offers support via phone (1-866-488-7386), text message (678-678), and online chat (link here - scroll down to Start Chat)
Also offers an online peer support space, TrevorSpace, for folks ages 13-24
Their site says, “In very specific instances of abuse or a clear concern of an in-progress or imminent suicide, Trevor counselors may need to contact a child welfare agency or emergency service.” When you click Learn More, it takes you to their Terms of Service (informative, but in legalese that might be hard to parse if you’re in crisis).
Again, not a service I’ve used myself, but I’ve heard good things!
B. For BIPOC folks (Black folks, Indigenous folks, and people of color more broadly), especially those who also hold LQBTQI identities:
Call Blackline:
Available via phone or text (both at 1-800-604-5841)
Available for people in crisis. Call Blackline can also help connect you with local community organizers and officials if you need to report a negative, inappropriate, or physical interaction with police, other law enforcement, or vigilantes.
From their website:
Call BlackLine® provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences for folxs who are most impacted by systematic oppression with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens.Call BlackLine® prioritizes BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). By us for us.
Here’s what I found regarding their policy on emergency services:
You do not have to provide any personal information to use the service. All calls remain private and will never be shared with law enforcement or state agencies of any kind.
Of course, a BIPOC person can contact any hotline for support, but for people dealing with racism, anti-Blackness, and other specific bigotries, I can very much see the importance of talking to someone who shares or understands that experience.
C. For folks processing bad psychedelic trips:
Fireside Project:
This one is something I didn’t even know existed! They do call- or text-based support (1-623-473-7433, or 1-62-FIRESIDE) for people processing psychedelic drug experiences, available 11am to 11pm Pacific time. I don’t have a ton more info, but their site seems really interesting and like they’re serving a unique need.
7. A soothing distraction:
One of the glories of the internet is the fact that it enables us to conjure up images of kittens at a moment’s notice. In that vein, I want to offer up a VERY cute distraction: Peptoc is a hotline (1-707-873-7862, or 1-707-8PEPTOC) where you can hear encouraging messages in English or Spanish from kindergarteners. How sweet is that? (Thanks to the wonderful @newbornwhumperfly for this suggestion!)
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Beloved whump community, I want to know about things that help you when you’re struggling. Please feel free to share them if you want.
And, Moya - we’ll miss you so, so much, even those of us (like me) who didn’t know you well. May your memory be an absolute blessing. <3
(I was going to put this in the tags, but oops, it’s going up here - I really hope this post will be helpful to someone, but it was also helpful to me to build. I feel better in a crisis when I can find a way to help - it’s how I soothe myself when I’m sad or scared. I really hope this doesn’t seem preachy or self-aggrandizing - it’s really just me processing-processing-processing. <3)
One more note: if this post makes you think you might want to follow my blog, you're totally welcome, but you should check out my note here first. This is not a DNI list; it's just a heads-up about my content, which could be inappropriate or triggering for some people.
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transform-ink · 29 days
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Finally finished the Earthspark basic Bluestreak.
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I changed some of the headgear to make him look a little more different from Prowl. I also used a blue undertone to get his name to match him more.
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wheucto · 3 months
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arttsuka · 5 months
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Guess what movie I watched yesterday (it was 'Chicken run: dawn of the nugget')
Anyway British chicken am I right 🐓 (I know that this is a rooster but I didn't like the chicken emoji)
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shorthaltsjester · 6 months
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once again, begging, BEGGING everyone in the cr fandom to stop making posts critiquing how the fandom is being weird about one cast member by saying "if it was x, the fandom would love this/hate this even more." it turns out the cr fandom contains Multitudes of weird ass people and just because you haven't seen those reactions (or, even funnier if you are making claims about what the fandom does/does not do to other cast members, were not in the fandom during c1/c2) does not mean they do not exist. like there are certainly different social dynamics and injustices at play in some of the reactions the audience has to cast members, but almost always it is less a case of misogyny/queerphobia and more a case of people forgetting that storytelling is about understanding choices you would not yourself make and watching characters develop through conflict/struggle.
like, you can have the most salient point to make in the world about how shitty the reaction of the fandom to a certain cast member's (not their character, but the cast member as a person) choices but you immediately undo that if you make a claim like "if liam did this, the fandom would love it." perhaps the part of the fandom you are in, but certainly not the fandom that wanted to persecute him for having vax choose keyelth over gilmore, certainly not the fandom that consistently manufactured actual dislike between him and marisha throughout campaign 2 because of character choices.
likewise you might be absolutely right in criticizing the choices of the character that one of the cast members is playing, but if then in turn you say, "if this was a female cast member, everyone would hate it." my brother in christ, You are already the person who hates that character choice and it Wasn't a female cast member, so what is the truth? unless you have the statistics on the opinions every person who engages with the cr fandom has, truly just. you can make your point without appealing to a sense of misogyny/queerphobia/favouritism or whatever that you have no actual grounds for believing exists except for the fact that misogyny in general exists.
this isn't to say that things like misogyny don't influence how people react to things, all of our opinions are mediated through the social and material conditions in which we live. obviously, misogyny exists. however, truly, truly, the bigger problem in the cr fandom (at least on twitter/tumblr, idk about reddit and that is a choice I've intentionally made) is the consistent expectation that the cast adheres to what so many fans call 'comfort media' and a requirement that one's own opinions be validated by what the majority of the fandom believes (which aside from the obvious, is also an absurd expectation because trying to gauge the 'majority' of the cr fandom would be truly so much data). the cast have made it explicit many times that they value things like high stakes and big risks in their storytelling, and sometimes that means stupid character choices, character deaths, or interparty conflict. so much of the fandom has decided to engage with cr regardless of this and then gets upset when the liveplay of a ttrpg built around conflict contains conflict. similarly, people who claim to enjoy this conflict then get pissed off when other people in the fandom disagree with them and give away the ghost that what they want is validation by arguing that it is somehow problematic for the other side to have their opinions. it is much easier to blame any lack of satisfaction on how, actually, your section of the fandom has the right opinion and, actually, if everyone else wasn't queerphobic/misogynistic then they would see the proverbial light.
anyway, this is just me ranting out of both literal and metaphorical exhaustion with the "persuasive" (heavy quotes) tactics that some people in this fandom use. please look up some tips on like, how to avoid logical fallacies or formal critical thinking or just like. state your opinions and say you dislike the other options without thinking you need to provide some (often blatantly and horribly incorrect) rationale for how you're right. accept the pretentious bastard within yourself and stop seeking validation for your opinions in the fandom around you, your opinions are already correct if you assume them to be.
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tea-earl-grey · 6 months
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i had an itching for comfort media so i went back to watch some s1 voyager episodes and s1 is soooo much better than i remembered. the later seasons appeal to my tastes a bit more but all the characters in s1 are so earnest and hopeful even when they butt heads and disagree and i'm just sitting here like "oh god they don't know what the next 7 years have in store..." i doubt it was that purposeful on the writers' part but it's so compelling how all of the characters have pretty open insecurities and are clearly people with lives and dreams beyond Voyager and bit by bit that's chipped away in later seasons. yes everyone becomes more confident and competent but is that really who they are or are they just losing themselves along the journey? (unfortunately the Doyalist explanation is just that the writers stopped putting focus on like. half of the main cast but shh i'm here for Watsonian analysis.)
like it's particularly noticeable with Janeway. she's definitely always been written as a strong leader but i forgot how much in early seasons we get to see her insecurities and vulnerabilities, how different she acts from when she's acting as captain to when she's alone, how often she questions her morality and whether she has the right to make decisions for her crew (and how often others questioned that right). then in the later seasons (around s3 and definitely by s4), she almost never questions her moral decisions, she rarely shows doubt, she plans heists on Borg cubes without a second thought, she dispenses her justice to the Equinox crew without really considering their position, she regulates others' autonomy (especially with Seven and the Doctor) without seeming to realize how easily that can go wrong. and don't get me wrong i love this development and think it's incredibly realistic for Janeway to deeply internalize her role and authority as a Captain and for it to permanently change her sense of self. Endgame is the perfect closure for Janeway's character because her future self exerts that same authority that she's been practicing over herself (also Janeway gets to live out her martyr complex one last time). i just wish the show was a little bit more self-aware that it was writing Janeway (and other characters) like this because there could be so many more interesting character conflicts.
anyways rewatching early ds9 made me say "aww these characters don't know that one day they'll all grow together and basically become family" and rewatching early voyager has me saying "uhohhhh these characters don't know the unhealthy relationships and neuroses they're going to uncover and develop". toxic found family for the win.
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ride-a-dromedary · 2 months
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the darkest of nights, in truth, still dazzles.
a halsin fanmix  [listen]
01. Heart of Spring - david arkenstone | 02. Cé Hé Mise Le Ulaingt? / The Two Trees - loreena mckennit | 03. Pussywillows, Cat-tails - gordon lightfoot | 04. Maybe Tomorrow - f&m | 05. Don't Stop Me Now - queen | 06. I Was Born Under a Wand'rin' Star  - bryn terfel  | 07. A Tenuous Bond - derek duke | 08. Closer - nine inch nails | 09.  Into the Darkness - jeremy soule  | 10.  Colorblind - counting crows | 11. Natural Light - ludovico einaudi | 12. Under the Greenwood Tree - royal shakespeare company | 13. The Grove - bear mccreary | 14. Blood Upon the Snow - hozier & bear mccreary | 15. A Quiet Darkness - houses | 16. Spellplague - alderfall | 17. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - jonathan antoine | 18. Only Everyone Can Judge Me - crywank | 19. Blue Skies - kathryn calder | 20. The Buzzard - old blind dogs | 21. Constant Craving - k.d. lang | 22. The Cave - mumford and sons | 23. Jim Cain - bill callahan | 24. I Won't Back Down - johnny cash | 25. The Ash Grove - laura wright | 26. The Wind - yusuf/cat stevens | 27. To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) - hozier | 28. The Logical Song - supertramp | 29. Tapestry - don mclean | 30. Big Yellow Taxi - joni mitchell | 31. Eat Your Young (Bekon's Choral Version) - hozier | 32. The Flock - david maxxim micic | 33. Changes - david bowie | 34. Ri Na Cruinne - clanaad | 35. The Moments of Happiness - ken page | 36. My Back Pages - the byrds | 37. If This Journey - tom hanford | 38. Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There is a Season) - Live - pete seeger
#BG3 Musing#BG3 Fanmix#Halsin BG3#Halsin#Halsin Posting#my fanmix#i give up this is about as done as it will ever be - i've been talking about this enough i need to get it away from me#i could have made at least one or two other playlists with the number of songs i cut from this#there were some things that hurt me to cut but i figured others had them in their playlists so they're out there#(the impossible dream you will always be famous i am so sorry :(()#i had three goals with this 1. make it more of a timeline in that it follows a narrative order (which hopefully is easy enough to follow)#(it makes sense to me about as much as it is ever going to lol)#2. try to avoid using songs that other individuals have used in their playlists (with a handful of exceptions - i highly encourage you also#take a listen to the others around! lots of good stuff and i figured if you were missing it from this one you can find another with it)#(and if i did use one the context might be different#'closer here is being used in a different way than i usually see it - it's putting more emphasis on the 'you can have my isolation' bit use#in context of the matron and patron for example)#and 3. focus as much as possible on non-romance path elements of halsin's character - i.e. again that's a topic that is highly explored#in other fanmixes to great success - this one is about the childhood he references and the adventures and the capture in the underdark#and the shadow curse and the burying of people he loved and the uptaking of the archdruid position and the healing he did#and possibly did not do#and the radicalization he comes into when his goals are met and he's faced with injustices#and the struggle he has of redefining himself and figuring out who he is after all of it#hopefully the 'eras' are clearly defined but hey it's all gravy from here#honestly if there is one song to listen to that encapsulates halsin for me it's tapestry - highly recommend that#anyway i am blabbing - let the lyrics and such talk for themselves jemi please#but if fanmixes aren't your speed have a kinda nice edit i guess#edit: now with bonus song i just had to add after shamefully forgetting it
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oheck-trainwreck · 8 months
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I love Bad’s 5 stages of grief thing that he’s got going, but I also love how underneath everything to do with denial or anger, there is just the underlying sense of hopelessness. Because even though he’s experiencing many of the other symptoms of grief at the same time, he’s already stuck at depression.
The eggs were his whole purpose for logging in for most days. I was scrolling through his vods channel today, just to look through all the QSMP vods, and you can see that his first streams were only about 2-3 hours, but once he got Dapper, they became pretty consistently 5 hours or more. But now, they’re gone again, and he has no reason to stay on more than about 3 hours.
So tomorrow is going to be bargaining. Maybe he’ll try to convince cucurucho to give him information, or try to contact the mysterious man, but deep down he will know that nothing he tries will work. The day after will be depression without any filters. It’s probably going to be the saddest yet. And then the day after that…
Depression again.
And again.
And again.
Until something changes, he will just be numb and hopeless and helpless to do anything to save the eggs.
I wouldn’t be surprised if that sort of hopelessness continued past the egg-napping arc, however it ends. I’m curious to see how it will continue to color (or desaturate) his character beyond the foreseeable story.
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averlym · 7 months
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"now, doesn't that look nice?" [insp]
#*chanting* skask skask skask skask-#vincent aurelius lin#adamandi#hello. let's talk about what's going on here! i've been tossing the idea about here wrt skin translucency ever since that post came out#(it's linked above fyi. but to quote it.) 'attempting to pursue this unachievable white ideal of the young academic; maybe leading to gory#representations of mimicry; replacement; taking on someone else's skin; altering the self'#this is primarily key in vincent and the skask; in the actual show iirc they used a jockey mask or smth? but i was thinking about the#delightful way skin is semi-transparent. and so a literal layer of skin alone would be unlikely to provide the whiteness pursued-#the under layer of the original tone would be there. so smth about the failure and unattainable.#additionally; at this point of the show the skin would have been likely yellowing or greying due to post-mortem development? so even more#Not white. from observations (as a kid;comparing skin tones?) white people have a pinker undertone (this might be. a generalisation but.)#here the lighting is yellowish to further push the difference + give the super harsh lighting that if you suspend disbelief has some hair#appear as blonde to further the ambrose-ness.#also the hair- messier on the non-ambrose side; a reference to the whole monologue about the haircuts they got#we bring to you also another episode of <i like drawing fabric folds> in the jacket symbolism! from bottom right to top left; it tracks#vincent throughout act two: the initial long jacket for standing out (nonchalance?) at ardess is removed; the yellow coat is put on- aided#here by ambrose's ghost which is represented by the hand! (it is very very slightly transparent- you can see the jacket pattern through it)#(if you look close) and then the satchel goes over it; this mimics the clothes in <oh ms reporter>#and then the Actual Ambrose jacket goes above along with the skask; following the outfit from the pyre scene at the end.#the spark/star thing is partially foreshadowing for the upcoming stabby eye trauma thing (@quincy) and partially just so i could highlight#the eye of the mask/ the place where vincent's eye probably is Behind the mask. because i liked the idea of merging faces; intersection.#back to the translucency of skin - you can kind of make out where the rest of his face is from the darker bit? aka it's not the same colour#as the skask. smth smth limited effectiveness...#tldr? face skin. jacket skin. altering appearance over time; unfeasibleness#when i was doing this i suddenly remembered covering my skin in talcum powder as a kid... hm. i'd forgotten about that.#anyways! when i posted my first ever adamandi thing i had the thought of 'this musical makes me want to paint' and surreally enough#that has proved to be so so true. and ngl i am really enjoying it? love it when the motivation to create is there haha#i will add as a disclaimer that i'm literally chinese and if the colours look off.. i did not mean to make a caricature. please be nice#that said because stage lighting tends to shift colours about a Lot i essentially used my own skin as a reference under yellow light?#so hopefully that checks out. <disappears>
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coquelicoq · 1 year
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i've been dying for a poll option ever since i saw my followers' answers to that text post from february 2022 asking people whether they pronounce beloved as "be-lov-ed" or "be-loved". many people were emphatic about only using one option, and many others use both but were not always able to articulate when they use 2 syllables vs. 3. so out of the goodness of my heart and my insatiable lust for knowledge i have gone through the notes on that post and written down some likely contenders! you're welcome!!!!
BEFORE YOU ANSWER! think about how you would pronounce beloved in the following syntactic contexts:
noun, talking directly to the beloved: hey there beloved
noun, talking about rather than to the beloved: my beloved lives in a pineapple under the sea
adjective in a noun phrase: my beloved x lives in a pineapple under the sea
verb participle: x is beloved by y
okay poll time! there are no wrong answers!! and apologies in advance if i didn't capture your truth, i only had 10 options and life is a rich tapestry!!
#oh man i could have easily come up with another 5-8 options but they cap you at 10. which is probably a good thing#one person said they say 'my be-lov-ed x' but 'my much be-loved x'. the only difference being the 'much'. couldn't fit that one on here#someone else said they use 3 syllables in a possessive noun phrase (my be-lov-ed x) but 2 if it's not possessive (the be-loved x)#one person said it depends on whether it's past or present & i wasn't exactly sure what that meant. 'x is beloved' vs. 'x was beloved'?#i also think there's likely a distinction for some people between 'x was beloved' and 'x was beloved by y' but couldn't get into that#oh and then there's 'beloved by' vs. 'beloved of'#and since some of these are syntactic distinctions and some are semantic or otherwise i'm sure there's a whole matrix of combinations#like '3-syll noun if it's a person but 2 if it's a thing. 2-syll adjective/verb participle for both people and things'#that was beyond the scope of this poll lol#but mostly why i'm so curious is because people will very emphatically say something that might not mean what they think it means#like for instance i got the impression that at least some of the people saying 'be-lov-ed when i'm talking to them‚ be-loved when i'm#talking about them' actually mean they use be-lov-ed as a noun and be-loved otherwise#and some of the people saying 'always 2 syllables' probably have exceptions that they weren't thinking of at the moment#in particular 'dearly beloved'#and i'm very curious to know if 3-syllable people still use 3 syllables in the construction 'he was beloved by all'#so i think people's answers might change when given a list of more detailed options#fun with pronunciation#prosody#my posts#also i stressed for so long about what to call beloved in the 'x is beloved by y' construction#but settled on verb participle because i think it's fairly descriptive and accurate#so hopefully that's not too confusing? like it is a verb participle but for a verb that doesn't exist anymore (other than the participle)?#and even in 'my beloved x' beloved is a verb participle being used as an adjective if you're thinking more etymologically#but a lot of people were distinguishing 'be-loved as a verb' from other forms and i assume what they meant by that was 'x is beloved'
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