#that all nighter i pulled after finishing the anime reading a bunch of stories and i still went to class. slept through half of it though

[ayakinari]

of all the ways i expected 2022 to go becoming an enstarrie was not one of them

#negative or positively i cant say honestly its just baffling in itself #tell me this last year and i wouldve laughed #acanthe and valkyrie was one reason. another was actually so i could talk to this really cool girl in my class and having 0 social skills i #had to resort to a common interest i didnt think id get in this deep what is wrong w me #well on the bright side i did manage to befriend her and some other nice classmates of mine!!! #got to hang out w her outside of classes a couple times with some of her friends too it was fun actually socializing for once #what i wasnt expecting was being emotionally devastated at nearly every single story i read i was absolutely in shambles in my friend's dms #i thought it was just another idol series. i was wrong! #that all nighter i pulled after finishing the anime reading a bunch of stories and i still went to class. slept through half of it though #terrible experience would not recommend doing that #duck rants about something #honestly was never particularly interested in idol guys considering ive been into stuff like aikatsu and pripara among other things but damn #ok maybe it was also bc of naru her tgirl swag piqued my curiosity and that led to learning what the hell was up w eichi and wataru #somehow #further leading to watching the anime and wow i am never getting out of here am i #○|￣|_ #incredibly sorry for the person ive become. kind of. not really #worst story experiences would probably be sweet halloween‚ meteor impact‚ and human comedy in no particular order #meteor impact especially was. augh. i was crying in a call trying to reread it #ive read it like? three times now i think? it rly broke something in me #chiakana truly the world i love them and their ryusei family so much #and shu's development always makes me. *punches a wall and cries* #you'd think stories with ''comedy'' in the title would be lighthearted and comedic but no all it does is rip my heart out of my chest #and cause me to sob uncontrollably #putting off actually reading marionette though it already broke me in the anime idk if i can sit through the actual reminiscence story #rly like steampunk museum though its just nice!! the ending was :]]] #knights slowly growing on me too next time theres an opportunity i might cosplay as one of them #i think i have a bad habit of making one sentence personal posts and then writing a dozen tags. i will not change this #too embarrassed to make actual coherent posts so talking in the tags >>>>>>>>> #back to agonizing over schoolwork i guess

[craigwinslow]

2 0 1 6 👋

Go, Hustle, Be.

Personally, I’ve had a breakthrough of a year. I feel more confident, more financially stable, and just damn proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish.

Landing the Adobe Creative Residency back in April has propelled my independent design career in wonderful ways. It’s given me a massive platform to promote my work, share my process, and educate others along the way.

99U wrote a feature on Projecting West. Creative Review and then FastCo Design covered my work from the London Design Festival. Most affirming of all— one of my favorite publications, The Great Discontent, did a fantastic long-form interview on me.

I’ve met an incredible amount of new people, produced an impressive amount of work, but by the end of 2016 I had one big problem. One that’s hard to admit.

I’m completely overwhelmed.

I made a bunch of work in quick succession and it’s all piled up. Finding time to document work is a common struggle if you have another immediate project to jump to next. I push myself hard, but in the pressure put on myself to make the most of this residency, I’m drowning by being overly ambitious. 

Hell— even finishing this recap post has a been a crazy-daunting task. I haven’t even posted on my blog since I got the residency in April. That needs to change. I miss writing about bits of process & behind the scenes of projects.

Typically when I get stressed, I let myself go on a tangent and work on whatever I really want to work on. That usually means I start another new idea, but so long as I’m happy & being productive, it works. Eventually I’ll snap out of it, and stay up all night churning out actual work to get out of a creative rut. This time, I completely shut down instead.

So, I spent the holidays reflecting, took some good time with friends and family, and disconnected— slowed down to better move forward.

I’ve succeeded in many ways this year, grown personally more than any other year in my life, yet I can’t help but be self-critical and focus on the ways I failed. 

Here’s what I did this year.

january

Future is Inevitable

I kicked off 2016 with my first solo art show, which turned on just before midnight. Neutrally named, passers by stared into a magic doorway containing fleeting future memories.

Scoble Show — Napa Valley

Robert Scoble invited me to his 2nd annual party and I made a fun impromptu light installation on a tower of wine barrels and vineyard doors.

White Noise Now Announce Video

After quietly experimenting with materials and bouncing ideas, I filmed and edited this launch teaser for a new collaborative with movement artist Erika Senft Miller and sound designer Miles Dean. (Scroll down, we launched the first performance in VT in Oct!)

february

Take F(light)

An impromptu short made with two other PWLF artists, flying a glass airplane with a custom-built drone, to promote our creative works for the Portland Winter Light Festival.

Between Them — Portland Winter Light Festival

Bringing the bridges of Portland to life, imagining what inside jokes the pillars must have about these interesting Portland-folk. Given a spare projector, I showed the Future is Inevitable doorways on two neighboring pillars.

ZX + Future is Inevitable at AFRU Gallery

Same weekend as the PWLF, I showed these two pieces in a group show called ByteMe 5.0.

march

Object Theory Branding

I was fortunate to work with creative director Amy Hillman to create a visual brand for Object Theory, named Most Innovative AR/VR Companies of 2016 by Fast Company.

Epiccurence — The Montues

Invited by Dann Petty to augment the space, ended up creating an impromptu projection with live visuals. I met so many amazing creative humans.

Portland Monthly

I did a couple projection mapping installations at various events for Portland Monthly. One of them was ruined by an amazing sunset.

Applied for Adobe Creative Residency

My good friend Mike Ackerman told me about some creative residency thing but the deadline was only 2 days away. I stayed up all night and submitted my Light Capsules concept for it. Glad I pulled that all-nighter.

april

Soundtoys / Julianna Barwick

Projection mapping live graphics on a cyc wall at Soundtoys while responding to the beautiful sounds of Julianna Barwick.

Jackson Hole Road Trip

Drove out to Jackson, WY to hang out with a close friend Nick, scope out ghostsigns, and mentally prepare for the upcoming year of residency work.

Preparing for Residency

Adobe sent a video team to Portland to create an intro, announcing my residency. You’ll find that video directly above these words you’re reading.

may

Full Moon Masquerade with Greg Davis

Projection mapping into a fish tank, stairwell, and shipwreck at ECHO Aquarium. Thanks to my friends at Signal Kitchen for bringing me on!

Light Capsules — Adobe Creative Residency

For my residency I proposed a project I had in mind since Day 6 of Projecting West, projection mapping ghost signage around the world, bringing the previous layers of history back to life.

Light Capsule 001 — Burlington, VT

To kick off my residency project, I thought it was only right to start on the building where my design career truly began.

Light Capsule 002 — Joseph, OR

During a camping trip, I brought my generator and projectors, and found this little Shell sign and brought it to life at sunset.

Light Capsule 003 — Portland, OR

For a promotional live news segment about the project and my residency. Stay tuned for a Portland takeover for Portland Winter Light Festival 2017!

june

Light Capsule 004 — Astoria, OR

The first palimpsest of my residency project, the whole process from research to projection, was shared on Adobe’s Snapchat. I also wrote a big process post published for Adobe Create Magazine.

99U Article — Projecting West

After being interviewed by Matt McCue, he wrote a long piece on 99U about the story and origins behind our road trip kickstarter adventure, Projecting West.

july

Light Capsule 005 — Cincinnati, OH

Visited the incredible American Sign Museum, worked with Ronny Salerno, and revived the last remaining wall by sign painter Chuck Keiger.

PBR Unicorn Mask

Totally forgot to share this one. I worked with Jen Fuller Studios to design & produce a kit to make your own unicorn head out of a PBR box. They shipped the guide for Halloween 2016. You can get your own template for free on PBR’s site. Oh, and here’s the video I shot/edited as a making-of.

august

NikeLab x RT

As soon as I began the residency, I was separately approached by NikeLab for an animation/installation project. Adobe completely encouraged me to pursue it, taking time to focus on what resulted in an animated Ricardo Tischi pattern that was shown globally.

Light Capsule 006 — Portland, ME

Of course I had to put my hometown on the map. This one was quite a challenge to figure out, with a few mysteries that remain... Read more about it in my latest article on Adobe Create Magazine.

Light Capsule 007 —Portland, ME

For a “ghost sign,” this one wasn’t too worn, but I couldn’t resist using it to confuse people in the Portland out west.

september

XOXOFEST 2016

Collaborative light installation with my studiomate Ben Purdy. To commemorate the 5th year and impending hiatus of the festival, we blended glitched recap & speaker videos of past with a secret live feed from the bar. This was our first time actually working together on a project. (We’ve actually been paid to not work together before, but that’s another story.)

London Design Festival

Whoa. Huge trip to London to bring a series of Light Capsules across the pond. Collaborated with Sam Roberts of Ghostsigns. I was also honored to kick off the festival by speaking at the V&A Museum and share my story & process.

Light Capsule 008 — Take Courage

I couldn’t not do this sign for Courage Beer. The message actually comes from war time era, and ‘take’ is used like ‘take your medicine.’ So many meanings and history in this simple two-word phrase. So good in fact, we did this sign twice, the Saturday to start the festival, and the following Saturday to end it.

Light Capsule 009 — Barlow & Roberts

Up close & personal, this wooden sign tucked under a bridge and squeezed between two structures was a great way to demonstrate the projection mapping technique and process.

Light Capsule 010 — Cakebread Robey

Another palimpsest, this one up in Stoke Newington, it was interesting to analyze the two layers and see what changed as the business changed and grew.

Light Capsule Worldwide Party — Distillery Bar

Halfway through the London Design Festival, we took over a blank wall and brought to it a digital collection of signs from all over the world.

Light Capsule 011 — Wire Works

The left part of this sign was on the corner of a building that collapsed during the war. When it was rebuilt, they filled in the bricks, but didn't repaint.

Light Capsule 012 — Westminster Gillette

As the finale of the London Design Festival series, we brought to life this triple palimpsest that took some special figuring out using historical photographs.

october

White Noise Now presents — SALT

When we announced this back in January, I had no idea the second half of my year would get so insane. Fortunately, Adobe was super supportive of the WNN project, funded it, and I roped it into my residency. It was named Best Art Installations of 2016 by Seven Days. We’re very close to sharing the video of this performance installation, and I can’t wait to grow this collaborative further.

Light Capsule 013 — Detroit, MI

Pushing the Light Capsules project further, I collaborated with Miss Van to augment her mural alongside an existing ghost sign. This was also recorded in 360º on a Gear 360.

november

Adobe MAX Speaker

Third talk of the year, and the biggest of my life. I broke down a 60 min talk into a 10 min backstory, 20 min on Projecting West, and 20 min on Light Capsules. It went super well.

Adobe MAX BASH — Entrance

I created a light installation at the entrance to the MAX BASH, projection mapping on a sculpture of 42 surfboards. Naturally, I titled this MAX BORTS.

december

New work studio

Prior to the closing of the XOXO Outpost, my studiomate Ben Purdy noticed a new studio on craigslist… with a ghost sign in it. We toured a few other places, but the Goldsmith Blocks are pretty great and now I work up close with Big Philip.

New loft apartment

In another crazy timing circumstance, my roommate was moving out and I noticed a dream apartment opened up downtown: a big gorgeous studio loft in a converted historical industrial building. Pulled the trigger on it. Moved everything in a day. First time living alone, too, but it feels just right.

Monster Project SF

My mentor at Adobe, Stefano Corazza, organized an incredible gallery show for The Monster Project, hosted in the freshly renovated Adobe SF Headquarters. I flew down to create something fun and impulsive for it. With only a day to put something together, I brought on my pal Mike Ackerman and we ended up getting a bunch of paper lanterns and turned a festive tree into a creepy monster.

1 Hotels

Another side venture started in 2015 that is gaining some solid momentum, I’m working with 1 Hotel to realize an experimental new type of immersion room in their South Beach location. Details to come!

This recap post.

Last year I was in the same situation, everything piles up, holidays hit, and I bury myself in unrealistic expectations for a massive end of year post. (You know, something epic like what Mailchimp does.) This year, I reached a limit, and quietly imploded.

2 0 1 6 mantra. Go, Hustle, Be.

GO. — I certainly went. Even hit my goal to go international, too. London, Vancouver, Tijuana, plus lots around the states.

HUSTLE. — Looking at the above, I definitely got a lot done this year. Biggest accomplishment by far was landing the residency of my dreams.

BE. — I’m proud of the quality time I’ve had with many of the new people in my life, but I still need to dedicate more time to reflection and sharing my process.

2 0 1 7 mantra. Let’s do this. (smarter, better, together)

Everything is lining up for me to propel myself forward with the momentum gained through this residency with Adobe. I want to do some incredible things next… but I can’t possibly do this alone. Nor do I want to. 

Especially in the wake of this volatile election, I want to band together with my creative peers to build projects that bring people together and create ripples of positive impact.

This year I’m going to take serious steps to work smarter, optimize my workflow, and take more time for myself. I’ve stopped flying around like an idiot for a bit, and started an actual routine. I wake up at a certain time, make breakfast, coffee, read a chapter of a book, then walk to the studio. 

And now I’ve completed this post, and can somewhat satisfyingly check it off my list, and move forward.

Let’s do this, 2017. —Craig

A FEW THINGS COMING UP 2017:

Jan 20 — Speaking at Adobe Creative Jam Portland, PSU Feb 1-4 — Light Capsules series at Portland Winter Light Festival Feb/Mar — Light Capsules road trip to SXSW from LA to Austin Mar 30 — Immersive visuals for Beowulf at Princeton University.

[booksbroadwaybbc]

House in order part 3 confessing what's been holding me back via /r/selfimprovement

House in order part 3 confessing what's been holding me back

​

House in order part 3 confessing what's been holding me back

📷

Hello again this is going to be my post relating to my situation before I start actual progress in fixing my life again.

A few ago I laid my feelings relating to my situation.

But I didn't tell you everything.

So I'm just going lay out how and why I came to this situation that I'm in now.

We'll It started when I got into the sheridan animation program . Throughout my entire time there was painfully since it's very competitive art program and I was moderately talented I tried 3 times to get in and this was the third time.

So I got in .first yearwas hard since I didn't know except how to draw traditionally and I was trying to compet with all the other students but I made a lot if friends with a bunch kids so I got some help but still struggled I pulled an all nighter every night.

2nd year I was pushed to my limit. I got bashed everyday by the head story direcyor for getting sonething weekly i was having a hard time understand the programs . I was Thinking abut my life and wanting to move out of families house and had a mental breAK down from all the stress. And went through a severy depression where I constantly fought my parents over me wanting to leave but they didn't want me to. They wanted me to get a degree in something

So I stayed and hated it. For the next 2 years I hated art related I hated drawing and painting and I wanted to leave. I almost fought it everyday. I just didn't know what to do. The only reason I survived 3rd year was because of help from a friend.

It was at this I started to become more of an asshole and was a bit more open in supporting trump I knew a couple of students who were also trump supporters (Asians suprisingly. And had enough with college.

Then my coop job was a diaster because I hated the job and barely did any work that summer

Then I went back for the fourth year and was given 8 months to make an animated. I barely did any work and for reason I passed and got the degree I didn't even finish the film but I handed everything and after that I just think program was just happy to see me leave.

I'm still wondering why I passed.

The graduation ceremony was annoying I just wanted to grab my degree and leave the director told me that there's always jobs in animation.

That was 6 months ago

As of now. I've done accept play video games read books , apply to some jobs and get some interviews and animation tests that have lead to no where. And I still use the same portfolio I made a year ago.

My family has tried finish film and portfolio but but I bit their hand because I'm not sure of going and paying for the program was worth it . All its done is make me more miserable

And now I just sit at home still applying for a job while friends win awards work in amazing studios. And watch jealously at their work approves.

I'm not even some times if I made the right choice . I didn't anything for so long because I hated my once greatest passion and have become impatient with the art prices and the making and critiquing of it.

Now here I graduated the lowest in my year group. I squandered many opportunities I've become too much a coward or too negative. My "friends "from college no longer talk to me . Unless I start the conversion. And lately really wants to talk to me so I'm lonely and angry and hate but love my friends.

I'm sorry for such a long winded post

Forgive me there is any spelling errors in this post. If they are confusion post, message me I'll clarify any confusion.

Submitted November 15, 2018 at 02:46AM by Pascal2512 via reddit https://ift.tt/2OJvCaE

#IFTTT #reddit