#thanks kid

[loveryss]

I'm dying. Caught a stomach bug from my kid and now I'm vomiting every 20 minutes ☠️

#thanks kid #I just wanna be able to sleep ok but I feel like crap #loveryrambles

[soldez]

a kid who i've already met multiple times before introduced himself to me today by saying "Hi, I'm [his name]. I'm a troublemaker and I like to break things." then started swinging around a large stick presumably with the intent to harm

#i fucking love this specific group of kids they're so funny #another one said i have a swarm of angry monkeys on my head and they're attacking #so i said oh my god what do i do and he said you'd better jump into the water over therr #so i pretended to jump in the water and said oh my god oh my god are they gone. The monkeys #and he said yes but now you have dangerous fish on your head and they're even angrier #and he was also like. i like to torment my mom with mice and my dad with caterpillars because they dont like those animals #and his dad is my coworker so now i know his weakness #thanks kid

[alatar-and-pallando]

I love it when kids are overly precise. I was telling this kid about the bug zoo's summer volunteer program for teens -- he was a a few years too young for it but I could tell he'd love it once he's old enough. He responds with, "We have a volunteer at my school! Her name's Miss May, or just May if you're an adult."

#thanks kid #idk it just delights me #maybe because i'm not quite sure what level of detail is necessary/appropriate in many social situations myself #stories #kids #my posts

[mushroomwillow]

4yo “Mama why did you take so long to go?”

“Because I couldn’t see if there were cars coming.”

“But you have eyes.”

#mushroomwillow rambles #thanks kid #kids are silly #kids

[lostinthewrongfandom]

You don’t know true confused horror until a four year old that looks like the ghost of a Victorian child turns to you and with no prompting says “You’re not dead…”

#I’m a daycare teacher for context #the parents had just explained the concept of death to the kid #and he had labeled others as alive but me as ‘not dead’ #thanks kid #exactly what I want to be #‘not dead’ #not ‘alive’ #but ‘not dead’ #also he has the most sickly little Victorian child look ever #first time I saw him I thought he was a ghost #so goddamn pale

[wordsbyrian]

You are amazing, don’t let this get to your head now 🙄

But seriously quite funny, mostly good advice and great talks. You are in need of a new job and a sleep schedule (no judgment)

You where for sure between top 3 and 5 of blogs I started talking over DMs too and yeah now you are stuck with my stupid ass 🤭😈

Yup chill person, now forget everything about this otherwise your head will explode from your ego

…

wow look at this blank message!

…

#do you wanna know? #thanks kid #ask game

[medicus-felini]

🌶️ pet play?

❝ My captain calls me cat everyday. Don't think I can get horny from being called those things after that. ❞

#Kid ruined it for her #thanks Kid #Best captain tho nya nya we stan :)))) *sweats* #⚕ ⦅ Consultation hour. ⦆⠀⠀/ ic . #⚕ ⦅ purrs ⦆⠀⠀/ suggestive .

[saltedsolenoid]

#thanks kid

[geturasstomars]

im going baby mode *spits a piece of wet bread into my hand and offers it to you while making direct eye contact*

#mine. #thanks kid #i was needing one singular bite of soggy bread in my open hand

[kindsoulbuddy]

I can’t tell y’all how many times one of my kids (at ages 2-4) have pointed to a strange man in public and said “Daddy!”

That’s so embarrassing fr

#thanks kid #embarrassing #I can’t be alone in this

[elisabethhobbeswrites]

My kid made me this and I feel so old. 😫😂

#breaking bad #walter white #book tumblr #teenagers #i’m too old for this #thanks kid #romance books #historical romance

[sansheritageposts]

youre looking pretty snassy today

merry crisis

merry krismas

#thanks kid #i try my best #by not trying at all

[bastard--bunny]

"Sve bi seke ljubile mornare" ili u izdanju moje nećakinje "sve bi seke limunade". Masterpiece.

#sad se i meni pije limunada #thanks kid

[khaleesa]

Whooooooa the 12yo just told my husband and me we’re cool. Then he clarified, “I mean, you’re cool, but you’re still parents.” 😭💀 But then he clarified again, “You’re some of the coolest parents. You’re not boring and strict.”

#thanks kid #i’ll take it

[room-on-broom]

uuuuugh the new trainee (A) who i put in a good word for turned round and refured to another kid (B) behind called him special and specialst of special complaining about him. so my gut reaction as the adult was to say lay off ant then later say hey that is out of order don't be a dick to him.

but a has told b and now a is saying suddenly thier besties and that apprently what they call each other. okay? but i am not part of your injoke and you called him it while on the floor?

and a is now accusing me (possiblly even to our manager) of being unfair and taking it to far. blowing up at him and not doing my job. fuck off kid, you did not make it sound like a joke or add im joking on the end.

like yeah i could have handeled it better yeah i should have taken the concern up with managemnt. but idnt want to get in trainie in trouble and now im the one looking like a bitch.

A has come to me crying when they worked in a diffrent department over other people in the work place and guests have said derotitory things to them. i feel ive been had or i being messaround here

#dont reblog #vent #legit worried i could loose my job now #thanks kid #like i know i am bad at reading tones and taking things at face vaule but for crying out loud #that word has connotations #espeilly said about behind B's back like #if i suddenly open commision slots in the coming weeks thats why

[chase-prairie]

Loving reminder from your land history auntie:

North American golf courses have had 50-100 years of arsenic and mercury based fungicide and herbicides applied to their soils.

Do not eat anything that has been grown on a golf course or downstream from a golf course. I know it sounds cool and radical, but you are too valuable to poison yourself with heavy metals.

Protect each other, turn your local golf course into a pollinator garden, not a sex forest or community garden.

#i am over here worrying about all you kiddos #also please dont forage on railway corridors either #love yourselves protect yourselves #lmao at the replies saying 'but why not sex forest anyway' #you do you kids #im personally a no thank you on the lead arsenic mercury sex forest personally #if you havent seen it there's a popular book about making golf course a sex forest #that isn't a random pull