#thank you so much for the help mom

[wooldawn]

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims #simblr #daisy's bc #hemming legacy #theo by lou-from-moonwood #<3 #i dont have a lot to add bcause im tired BUT #if u sent me a sim for this 1 THANK YOU 543958493 times #i legitimately was thinking of giving her more than 1 spouse because i loved them so much ;-; #i had that poll up but then figured it probably wasnt entirely fair so i just had my mom look at my posts and help me decide ;-; #2 if you sent me a sim expect a message from me soon!!

[grapejuicegay]

a little love for pat ft. patpran protection squad

#yes i consider pat's mom part of the patpran protection squad #she earned it in ep 12 4/4 #anyway pat deserves some love #so here is him getting a bunch #bad buddy #bad buddy series #bad buddy brain rot #badbuddyrewatch #kk.gifs #can't believe the rewatch is over already! #hate that i couldn't be there for so much of it #but i'm back for the end with this little thing so! #also lin if you see this!! #i didn't forget the set i promised you #it's just turning into a bigger beast than i had planned... #and thanks for the help julian <33 i cracked it

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

I donated a little money, it’s not much but I love this blog and you’ve fueled my love for the spooky boy and inspired some fanfic.

It is so much though, because it all adds up and I appreciate the thought. Thank you so much for your donation, my mom thanks you too. <333

#thank you so much #we have almost 50 in donations now #and that'll help til mom gets home

[sage-nebula]

I've decided to make my own post because I am not an idiot, but full disclosure that this post is 50% based on thoughts I was having while I was driving home from the auto repair shop yesterday and 50% a response to a post I saw just now that conflated "redemption arcs" (things fictional characters go through in fictional stories) with "community support" (things real life people offer to other real life people in real life) and how this relates to "fixing people" (making someone who mistreats or abuses themself or others not mistreat or abuse themself or others anymore).

Read my words very carefully.

In fiction, it is more than okay to like whatever type of toxic or fantastical relationship you want. If you like to read stories about toxic, codependent people who are absolutely horrible to one another and will never, ever change, you read those stories. If you like to read stories about a tortured man who just needs The Right Person to teach him to be better, and then he is, sometimes exclusively only to them though, then you read those stories. Sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and fails spectacularly, and sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and succeeds spectacularly, and either way, you read whatever stories you want, whatever makes you happy, I'm sure it's somewhere in this vast Archive that we call Our Own.

However, in real life?

First of all, "arcs" aren't things real life people have. An arc is something that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Real life people don't have those, because our stories don't end until we die. Unlike a character, whose life presumably continues even after their story ends (except in circumstances where they die at the end but you know what I mean), we have to keep living day by day, with all the rises and falls that come with it. Now, this does not mean that a person cannot change, or that a person can't get better and learn from their mistakes; but it DOES mean that we can't have a "redemption arc" where we complete a checklist of story beats and then suddenly we're a better person who has experienced the necessary growth to be forgiven. First off, no amount of growth or change ever requires any victims to forgive. And second, that's just not how life works. That's not how change works. Change and growth are baby steps taken each day, and sometimes you go backwards, and you get angry with yourself, but then you pick yourself up and you try again the next day, and the next, and the next. It's an ongoing journey that does not end until you die. That's life.

But second and more importantly, the real idea that I think the original post was trying to get at, but missing the mark on was . . . okay.

So, the original OP of the post (and the person who replied to OP) got angry at the idea that the strawman they had invented (the person who had theoretically said "you can't fix him!") would deny support to someone who needs that help to grow and change as a person. The person who had replied in support of OP added that the strawman clearly believed in punitive justice over rehabilitative justice as well. On the surface, I can see where they are coming from. After all, on the whole humans are a social species and do need support networks in order to not only thrive, but survive. People such as drug addicts need support and assistance in order to get into better places in their lives, and the prison system has been proven to be far less effective at preventing repeated offenses than rehabilitative programs. This is all true.

However.

The reason why "you can't fix them" is still true, and needs to be said and understood particularly by those who are susceptible to falling into abusive relationships (e.g. people who have been abused before, particularly in childhood or adolescence) is because of free will. Specifically, the free will that each of us has, but specifically the other person. Person A can want so, so, so badly to "fix" Person B so that they stop being an abusive alcoholic 75% of the time. But if Person B doesn't actually want to stop being an abusive alcoholic (even if they say they do during the 25% of the time they aren't smacking Person A around), and refuses to put in the work that it takes to become sober and be a better person, then guess what? Nothing Person A does will ever make them be a sober, non-abusive partner. They will be unable to fix Person B. It doesn't matter how much time, energy, money, or commitment they pour into that person. It doesn't matter how much they genuinely, honestly, earnestly love them. Because unless Person B wants to change, and will put the work into doing so, then they will not change, and Person A, for their own health, safety, and sanity, needs to exit that relationship.

Now, does that mean that if, ten years down the line, Person B decides they are ready to put in the work to get their alcoholism under control, no one should help them? Of course not! They should absolutely be put in touch with sober counselors, support groups, medical professionals, friends and family who can help them. Person A could potentially forgive them, if Person A chooses. But that willingness to change and put in the work has to come from within Person B first.

I've been in the position where I've seen people in awful situations just tanking their lives, people I loved and cared about, people I begged to just listen to me and get help, only for them to not . . . and ultimately I had to accept that I couldn't fix them. I could be there to offer support when they were ready to fix themselves, but the core work that needed to be done had to come from within themselves. I couldn't provide that. Not because I was inadequate, not because I didn't love them, but because I couldn't force them to do anything they didn't want, or weren't ready, to do.

So at the end of the day, "you can't fix them" isn't about not giving support. It's about recognizing your limitations as a human being. It's about knowing that:

You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do.

You cannot force someone to do something they are not ready to do.

Not being able to help or save someone is not a moral failing of yours.

Not being able to help or save someone does not mean you do not love or care about them.

Providing support should never come at risk of your own health and safety, physical or otherwise.

When you love someone, it can be really hard to accept this. You think, "I know I can make them want to try. I know I can inspire them to want to change. I know they love me, so if I just love them a little harder, they will want to change." Nine times out of ten, though, that is just not true. And if someone is abusing you, it is not worth the literal risk to your life to keep trying. You are worth more than that. You are more than just someone else's band-aid.

Keep yourselves safe in 2024.

#not an abuse scenario but: my mom died of covid-19 #it's relevant to this discussion bc she was a trump-supporting republican who refused to get vaccinated #bc the far-right propaganda shows she watched told her the vaccine ''wasn't a real vaccine'' #and i know this bc when i literally BEGGED MY PARENTS to get the vaccine my mother LAUGHED IN MY FACE and TOLD ME ''it's not a real vaccine #so anyway both my parents got it. my father almost died from it #my mom seemed like she was doing much better . . . except she CONTINUED to smoke heavily while both having covid #and recovering from covid #and once again i said hey don't you think you should not smoke cigarettes while recovering from a serious respiratory disease #and once again she laughed at me #anyway 2 months later her heart gave out in her sleep and she died #bc her body couldn't handle the stress of the cigarettes + alcohol (she was also an alcoholic) after covid had done its thing to her #she was only 56yo #so this was a case where i wanted to fix my mother. i tried so hard. and i've similarly tried to fix my father (who is still alive) #but i can't! my dad almost died and my mom DID die and my dad STILL won't get the vaccine #I HAVE BEGGED THIS MAN. WHO IS NOW 73. TO GET VACCINATED. AND HE STILL WILL NOT. #you can't fix people!!! you can't!!! you can offer them support if they want to fix themselves #you can help them fix themselves but you can't fix them. you just can't. no matter how much you love them #and in abuse cases it can be really fucking dangerous to keep trying. #anyway. that's my TED talk. thanks for attending or w/e it is they say

[withoutalice]

Show us that old art gurl

I-

These were drawn approximately ~5 years ago based on the time stamp. i remember drawing both of these in the car on a long road trip with my Ibis Paint X app + finger on my S4 lmfao

but yeah i had (still have) a furry phase and have always wanted to build fursuits and draw people's OC's, just hadn't (haven't :/) found my community yet...

...granted I was like 12 when I started furry art, and only 10 when I started my art journey in the first place. the internet was def no bueno for someone my age (i had an aminoapps FNAF/undertale account i can't say SHIT xD)

#withoutalicespeaks! #asks #wyrm I trust you (sideeyes you but like in the nervous dog way) so I'm showing you the easiest most cringe art I've got #wyrmwithawhy #thanks so much for the ask! #new tag alert!!! #alice-lore! #i once bought ~$200 worth of fursuit material (faux fur/foam/head base from etsy) #I had my OC all designed and a pretty solid body suit pattern/plan #I must've been 13 #anyway it's all in my sewing closet to this day bc my mom wouldnt let me make it bc she thought...well...lets not shall we? #HELP PLEASE THIS IS MY OLD ART FROM MIDDLE. SCHOOL. THIS IS NOT MY ART NOW PLEEASSEEE #PLEASE IM A STAR #my art #my OLD art #furry art #furry artist

[opens-up-4-nobody]

God. One of my little sisters is such a bitch. She's done me some genuine damage in exacerbating my already social bad anxiety. But when I have dreams where she's been hurt or killed, it's so horrible bc she's still my lil sister :-(

#its bc last night my dad had a dream she was in a car wreck. he transferred that anxiety onto me #shes such a bitch tho.just like intolerant of things she doesnt understand. and she does not understand my unwell brain #i think she likes my youngest sistsr best now. which fair bc i do too but we used to be besties. we used to explore in the woods together #and play ellos and barbies and legos and poly pockets and magnets. and now we never text eachother. its sorta sad #its not just me tho. my youngest sister and i have a 4 year gap so we weren't really interacting much when were were little bc she was too #bby to me but shes such a genuinely lovely person now. shes a special ed and preschool teacher. i asked her mom how she ended up with both #of my sisters bc my middle sister is the most like entitled person i kno. like my parents r very generous and she doesnt think for a moment #about not accepthing things from them. she thinks shes owed that amd more. its so strange #and my mom was like. thank goodness i got the youngest bc otherwise id think something was wrong with me #im prob somewhere in the middle of them. my brain is just more fucked up so like im greatful but im struggling. theres not a ton of like #really obvious mental illness in my family tho. just here and there someone should b diagnosed and get a bit of help. my uncle is the only #other one who could possibly be bipo1ar but hes also got a lot of problems: severe adhd and possibly b0rderline. so it could just b that but #my dad says when u talk to him sometimes things just doent make sense bc hes had convos in his head wuth you so he thinks u kno already #idk. its interesting tho #unrelated

[pastafossa]

I read your response to the vampire message in your inbox and then proceeded to continue on with my current reread of TRT

AND THEN

AND THEN

I CAME ACROSS THIS PART OF CHAPTER 54 AND NEARLY CHOKED WITH LAUGHTER

"'Look,' Foggy slurred, taking on the pose of a professor about to dispense true enlightenment, one arm behind his back and the other shoved up so he could stab a finger in the air. ''M not saying Matt doesn’t—sure, he punches bad people and gets all bloody, and that’s not super romantic. Not unless you’re kinky, or a vampire.'

Shit. I’d happily kiss the fuck out of Matt when he’s all feral and bloody. 

Were you… were you a vampire?"

Anyway that line just tied in so nicely with the whole vampire thing and I thought I'd mention it.

P.S. I'm so so so happy for you that you got to meet Charlie and also you are SO pretty omg, ALSO I love your story recounting what he said to you at the autograph table, that must have meant the world to you <3

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT LINE! 😂 I mean, if you add in that I would, much like Jane, totally kiss Matt when he's feral and bloody, welp, pasta vampire status confirmed.

And thank you so much! 😭 It really did mean the absolute world to me. Matt's arc on the show helped me heal and process so much, and season 3 was especially meaningful to me (including the... really really dark moments, which, without getting too specific for TWs, I really related to). I don't know that I've ever seen a character that I felt mirrored what I'd gone through like he did. I'd managed to claw my way into a better headspace by the time DD came out, but there was still a lot of emotional/mental scarring and trauma I was dealing with in addition to the ongoing management of my health issues/chronic pain/disability. And watching Matt deal with, process, and work through what felt like the exact same situation with the exact same reactions I'd had, just... it did so much for me. It felt validating, because my mind works in story, processes as story, and now, here was a story like mine, a character who knew exactly what I was feeling. There's something healing about watching Matt struggling with the same questions, the same pain, the same anger, the same grief, before finding his way through it. I still watch it when my mood dips.

Charlie's performance, the work he put in, the respectful way he treated it, did so, so much for me, more than I could ever say. I really, really wanted to tell him that, and finally, I was able to! And he seemed to recognize it for what it was, and how much it meant to me. That moment of genuine connection, that respect, that chance he gave me to tell him what his performance meant and how it helped me, is something I'll treasure, and I hope if he ever feels down about something, he remembers how much what he does means to all of us in return. ❤️

#charlie cox #daredevil #matt murdock #i do not have words for how much watching matt heal and process helped *me* heal and process #my mom literally looked at me repeatedly during S3 and went 'did they talk to you for this???' because it just MIRRORED #and whenever matt said something like 'cotton feels like sandpaper' i just like oh hey it's me been there #and on top of that if I hadn't felt that connection thanks to Charlie and the writers #I wouldn't have started TRT #which has changed my life further #What Charlie did essentially altered the course of my life for the better #so getting a chance to tell him that and the way he understood is something that will stick with me for a long long time

[queen0fm0nsterz]

I saw you post about Seafarers, but to me, your finest work will always be Fifteen Notes to You, reread all of it the other day and... yeah, it still hits like a fucking bullet train.

I genuinely don't think it's possible to capture Mono's descent into insanity better than you did here. It reminds me a little of The Last Weekend from the anthology Inside no.9, in that, you know, both from the story itself and the context it exists in, that it won't have a happy ending, but the humanization of the characters just forces you to cling to hope that something will go right. But that rarely, if ever, happens in The Nowhere.

FNTY... Now THAT'S a name I haven't heard in years...

Thank you so much!!!! I'm super grateful to see folks still enjoy my old stories :)it seems to be the general consensus even among my friends that FNTY is the best complete fic I've put out. Reading thru the comments, I remember one of a person who told me that it made them cry - and the comment made ME cry LMAOOOOOOO😭

I'm very proud of it myself as it was not only my first published fic, but my first multichaptered fic I ever completed as well. Though I am a slow writer (SEAFARERS CHAPTER 5 IS IN THE WORKS😭), for FNTY it was never because I had excessive trouble figuring out what to put on paper - especially never when in regards to the letters themselves. The most troubling parts were the in betweens, funnily enough.

Mono and Thin Man come very naturally to me when writing. I think it may be because I tend to interpret them as having very big feelings... like myself, I guess. And since the story itself is short, I suppose that I managed to make the thing itself feel like there are many big feelings in a tiny box. I will admit I got emotional myself a couple of times... then went on to edit like nothing was wrong LMAOOOO like this is how I looked writing and then editing vvv

For Seafarers, the emotional payoff has yet to come, and it will be different -- considering we have World's Most Emotionally Constipated Woman and Our Strongest Soldier (the PTSD has yet to hit because she's still actively experiencing the horrors) as the protagonists this time.

Six and the Lady are both considerably harder to write for me. I had my chance to write the Big Feeler at the very beginning because the stakes there were skyrocketing from the getgo, but now things have gotten considerably more... silent. The feelings are there but they're all kept in. OUGHHHHHHHHH

I also can't wait to introduce more stuff; I've been writing down concepts for shadow magic and powers, how the Maw works, the various things the Lady of the Maw has to look after to keep it afloat... and the Ladies. Look, I'll say that I'm really happy with what I'm doing with Teapot and Rascal. And with Teapot in general. I really like the characterization I pulled out of my ass LMAOOOOOO and the DESIGN... ok so I'm willing to share a couple of the Teapot's I've doodled

(She's genuinely very silly [read: sick in the head]... i gave all the Ladies some nice additional details because. Ik the point is that they all look very similar but I love designing outfits fuck it this is MY au i do what I want)

So right now I have a suspicion that Seafarers will hit better when it's finished and can be read from beginning to end. Since it's longer (I plan it to be... around 15 chapters? A bit longer if the events require it to be.), there will be more time to let the stuff brew until it reaches its climax as intended.

#carols.txt #Seafarers (Lady Mom AU) #ftny #my writing #{HELP IM SORRY YOU DID *NOT* ASK FOR ALL OF THIS #i went off the rails... #anyway. thank you SO much #so so much #all i can say is the grind never stops and i always strive to get better #seafarers is a different genre so i dont expect it to draw the same reactions out of people but im sure it #will find its crowd👹 #again off the rails but i remember peeps commenting that they liked my characterization of the Lady and that had me twirling my hair #giggling like omggg.... fr.... really... thank you! i know her personally and intimately #you could say carnally #HELP #shes so nice to me i would bake her the uncooked beans in the cans ... shes my baked bean (she's high) #INFKDKGMGH #someone send help for six because at this rate she'll lose her mind before the whole 《ladyfication》 process is even beginning}

[keirawantstocry]

.

#i have multiple discord servers for vent shit but unfortanely my sister is on all of them and i dont wanna bother her so #yeah everyone ignore this i just need to fucking explode #my mother is pissing me off so fucking much rn #she never shuts the fuck up #only cares about her own damn fucking problems #shes going on about how she cant find a book and she needs my help and im like mom #i just spilled water on my laptop can you stfu #and you know what she fucking says? #well maybe if you didnt always hide in your room with your computer #first of all im a fucking adult and istg once i have enough money im blowing this fucking stand in a heartbeat #and second of al #I WAS OUTSIDE #BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY FUCKING LIFE I WAS TRYING TO GET SOME FRESH AIR #IM SICK OF BEING INSIDE #BUT WHEN I GO OUTSIDE SHE CAN COME TO ME WHICH I HATE MORE #so i try to go outside for once and what does it fucking get me #well the fucking water on my computer and audio issues #which thank God i fixed but ugh am i still pissed the fuck off #and my fucking “best friend” can barely give me the fucking time of day #leaves me on delivered for days at a time #and then straight up ignores my questions and wont fucking talk to me #but oh they'll call me randomly if they need my help #like is that all i fucking am to you? #UGH #trying to breathe #im going to put on headphones and writing gay fanfiction that always cheers me up

[dewitty1]

Saturday Six (Stuff)

I'd been feeling severely anxious and depressed about my business being dead, and the thought of having to talk to my parents and ask for help again, but luckily my whinging (an Ad) on Facebook seems to have worked, and I got a nice little customer job. Plus some stuff from my BFF and her family (possibly).( ´͈ ॢꇴ `͈ॢ)･*♡

Plus I'm getting weird customer messages. Always a good time.(⑅ ‘﹃’ )

Leeloo is a cute kitten, but she is seriously a little bit of a terrorist. When I say she gets into everything I mean it. (^・ω・^ )

I do not like having this sinus crud that's going around.(*｀へ´*)

I know both options for the USA presidency are terrible. But one (CHUMP) is more terrible. I'm tired of the argument. I'm gonna stick with the slightly better Grandpa Joe. Not because I love him, because I don't. But because he's the one that'll get us closer to where we need to go. We may take three steps forward and two steps back, but at least we're going in the right direction. Whereas the other guy has no idea where he's going. Maybe towards Vladimir. More likely than you think.( •̀ω•́ )σ

I can't believe I'm going to be five and a half decades old in a little over a month. Jfc. I don't feel that old. (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

#Saturday Six #February 24 2024 #About me #Personal #Please do not rebloggle #Carey rambles about life and stuff and things and being really effing depressed and not even kidding about that #And yeah maybe I should go back to therapy but my therapist said I was cured!!? #So annoying #Anyway I'm considering it #But yeah life has been shite these past few months and I've just been sitting here in it #But I'm glad I made the post asking for help on Fb and people stepped up and shared so that was cool #And it seemed to help because I got one project so that helps #Anyway thank you all for reading my nonsensical rambles whenever I post them #I appreciate y'all so much #I hope you have a great day or night wherever you are #Hugsss from mom or just a friend whatever you need right now because I know I need hugsss too٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤💜💙💚💛❤️💗💕💖 #Now back to your regularly scheduled programming

[dredshirtroberts]

yeah guys idk I'm just thinking maybe the lightheadedness and desire to sit down about halfway through putting away groceries my whole life might not have just been a reaction to the way my parents were when i was a kid and the accompanying anxiety and sudden flurry of movement, but also possibly maybe i have a Health Thing about this...

#thank god i finally scheduled that doctor's appointment #Jan 15 cannot come quickly enough tbh #like i've streamlined getting shit put away and i hurry as soon as the wooziness starts hitting because i know i'm on borrowed time #and that's when the trauma reaction kicks in of ''i can't stop halfway through i'll be in trouble'' anxiety #because i *enjoy* putting away groceries and organizing the kitchen #i just also can't without a lot of assistance and plenty of spoons and time to prepare myself physically and mentally beforehand #this post brought to you by i had this realization doing the groceries and now i'm having like a lot of thoughts about it #i can't do it all in one go ever and i have never been able to without someone else handling about half of it #no matter how much i get or of what i can only get about half put away before time's up and i gotta sit down #it's why so much of my food was non-perishable when i was on my own #cause i'd get the cold things put away because they *had* to be #and then i couldn't physically do any more - especially if the groceries that week were more cold than non-perishable #but like yeah if i had to stop or take a break in putting away the groceries (despite also having gone to the grocery store #and walked around the whole store and grabbed items AND carried the heavy things into the house because i was the heavy lifter #AND i was in sports and had probably either just done a lot of exercise or was still in recovery from the day before/earlier that day) #i got fussed at for not helping out #so that's fucked up and fuck my mom actually she sucks #ugh

[kateclaire]

hi again! Secret Santa here... :)

I was wondering what some of your favorite things about Claire are? Are there certain ways you do / don't like to see her characterized?

One of my favourite things about her is she's a very fun mix of being a genuinely really sweet and like. sunshine-y person, but also not hiding when she's sick of people's bullshit (getting snarky with the psychic on the phone in her flashbacks, getting mad at the adoptive parents in flash-sideways, insisting Rousseau doesn't hide information from her during maternity leave, a lot of scenes with Charlie, etc).

Re: her being sweet, I really liked in Walkabout when she was the one to suggest holding a memorial service after going through the wreckage, and just leading it herself when Jack didn't want to. Just very earnestly reading whatever random facts they could cobble together.

I like that she's creative (like her plan to attach a note to the birds in par avion, but also her being a tattoo artist in flashbacks), and determined and stubborn. The fact that she's able to be the way she is in season 1 despite believing herself to be guilty for her mom being in a coma, and being ditched by her boyfriend who was going to raise the baby with her, and stuck on a desert island knowing she's about to give birth any day now (nightmare) is incredible. And her being able to break through 3 years of like. brainwashing or whatever tf was going on in s6 to accept help and get away from the Island shows a lot of resilience as well, although it is kind of hard to take that plot entirely seriously with how little information they gave on it.

Oh also I liked her goth phase <3

The main things I didn't like for her in the show is that they sidelined her a lot outside of being pregnant/a mom, and when they needed her for Charlie's storyline or to get kidnapped or whatever. And then in s6 they just didn't bother going into what she went through, and her plot was more focused on Kate's side of things (saying this as someone who loves both Kate and her plot to bring Claire back to the outside world lol, I just wish they'd gotten into Claire's perspective more after not seeing her for a season). I don't think I've seen any super bad characterization for her before tbh, my grievance with fanworks about her was always more along the lines of so many of them being Charlie-focused (they do have cute scenes together! I just didn't like having to wade through 10 peanut butter gifsets before finding anything about Claire herself or her relationships with other characters, but that's more of a 2015 problem I think.)

#asks #anonymous #lss2023 #claire #sorry for the late reply! hope this helps & thanks for asking <3 love to think about Her #idk if this is clear but i do love aaron and think him and claire are super sweet together so def feel free to include him if you want! #i just didn't like how much of the show was JUST about her being aaron's mom at the expense of other plotlines they could've given her

[tj-crochets]

A girl I went to school with had a heart defect, so she was fully ambulatory, but she needed to be pushed in a wheelchair if she got overexerted.

She had an all-terrain wheelchair that someone else would just push when she wasn't using it.

I have no idea if that's helpful or useful info, but it thought it might a similar situation.

Thanks! It sounds like it is a very similar situation, and it's very good to know all-terrain wheelchairs are a thing that exists. I'm still leaning towards getting one that's a combo rollator/transport chair (or wheelchair), because sometimes leaning on something makes it easier for me to walk or balance if I'm dizzy but my blood pressure's okay, but I might end up going with a wheelchair

#ask away! #thanks! #I am struggling a bit with the whole 'I don't want my family to have to push around a wheelchair for me just in case I need it' #and 'I don't want them to have to push my wheelchair because I know my dad would but his shoulder is messed up' #balancing with 'this really would improve my quality of life significantly on the days I need it' #and 'you've gotta let people help you' #which is something I say a lot to my mom and my grandma #but uh. it's hitting a little different saying it to myself #you know? (the you in this case being you in general not you specifically nonny) #and if I get a wheelchair it would have to be one someone else pushes for me #because if I get to the point where I need to sit down I need to stop exerting myself in general #but like...this would improve my ability to go places SO MUCH #because it would mean I don't have to wait for good blood pressure days to go places #I could just go! any time I'm not having an allergy flare up!

[straydogged]

...huh.

#I think I may have finally put my finger on why I struggle so much to let people help me let alone ask for help #it's because if I had to ask for help from my parents it would inevitably be thrown back in my face later and/or #I would be made to feel inadequate and useless #that mixed with mistakes not being tolerated has made me so phobic of fucking up in front of other people #this. should not be such a revolutionary thought and yet! #thank you mom for my toxic and pathological hyper-independence #idfk how to work on this. I've been treated like I was overly dependent and needy my whole life so it's hard to really feel like #it's a bad thing for me to be like this?

[causeimanartist]

Hi, I just wanted to send you some hugs and appreciation from Germany! I'm usually very shy when interacting online, so I hope my message doesn't make you feel awkward or uncomfortable, I just don't have much practice interacting this way... (Also I apologize in advance for the length of this message!) I discovered your blog just a short time ago and have been binge-watching it :) I have to say, I fell totally in love with it (especially your Bruce art). Your blog is a place filled with beautiful art and kindness. My job (I'm an EMT ) can be pretty exhausting and sad sometimes. Sometimes, you just can't stay detached from a tragedy you witness, you get insulted and screamed at for parking your ambulance on a street, get verbally or physically abused by rude or intoxicated patients or you are just exhausted from having many transports or emergencies in a row without a break, food or water. That's why I treasure every moment I have where I can just curl up somewhere, be it back at the station or just in the seat of the ambulance and let my mind come to a rest scrolling through tumblr and watch a bit of beautiful and funny content. Blogs like yours are my ray of sunshine on some bad days. You are a very nice person, and your blog spreads happiness and love through amazing art and wholesome interaction. I just want you to know that what you do is important! I hope I don't make you to feel pressured, because your mental health and personal life is still the more important thing! I just wanted you to know that people like you are a reminder sometimes, that there is still so much kindness out there and that's a big reason for me to go to work with a smile on my face every day regardless of all the negative things. Thank you for spreading so much joy. I wish you all the best for the future!

I don't think I have the right words to express how much this ask means to me. I teared up reading it, I'm tearing up now. Just, thank you so much for your kind words. I'm so happy and so so honored that my art can bring happiness to you and others. The fact I can bring even a small bit of light into the world is incredible

Thank you, dear dear anon

#my art #causeimanartist #drawing of me #seriously #after I read the message I immediately went to find my mom to show her #because this is truly one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to or about me #I've been struggling with long term art block #but after reading this I was just filled with a desire to create #because I do love drawing and I love getting to share it with all of you #the world can be cruel and hard #as an EMT I can only imagine what you've seen #so I'm so happy and honored I can help bring some relief to your day #I will be thinking about this for days #it made me smile so much #I'm still smiling and crying a bit haha #thank you so much for this dear anon #(also you're from Germany omg I wanna go to Germany so badly)

[runawaymarbles]

the eternal struggle between “don’t say something about someone’s family member that might come back to bite you if they reconcile or might make your friend look bad in divorce court” and “agreeing with a teenage friend that she’s 100% right, her father is an emotionally immature piece of shit who makes me want to commit violence, and is in fact the only person I’ve ever met who I feel genuine hatred for and i hope she spits in his drink while she has covid”

#i want to set him on fire #also still kind of annoyed at my mom for telling some mutual friends #that she was surprised at how helpful he was being so maybe he wasn't all bad #or as bad as i made him out to be #thus making it seem like even thought i was exaggerating #when the reason he's sooo helpfullll is because he likes making things about him #and so if it's not an inconvenience he loves to step forward and be The Guy #and get the thanks and praise and accolades and reputation points and win people over #he is bar none the most self-absorbed person i have ever met #she now realizes he's like that but i don't know if she realizes how much she undercut me in that conversation #if you spend a full year feuding with someone it's hard enough to get mutual friends to believe you about anything #one of those mutual friends his ex wife and i were talking a couple weeks ago #and his ex wife said something and the mutual friend was like It Never Occurred To Me That He Might Think/Do That #and i'm just like #where have you been WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN #I'm not actually crazy and neither is his wife and neither are his kids #laskdflaksjdf;laksjfaliewfj;lajsldkjda;lfskdja;lkjds;lkj #op #to be deleted probably