#taking this with a bowl of salt

[hanafubukki]

Omg??? Both visited me right after the other 🥹💞💚

Hehehe this makes me happy and feel better 🥹💙

#hana rambles #they came to take care of me while I’m sick #mal save me from Lilia cooking #my mom gave me a bowl of oranges with salt and told me to eat it all #that it would cure me lolol #guess who has a giant bowl of oranges to finish’s

[sidleyparkhermit]

Because of serious dental pain I am currently eating spoonfuls of dip, and let me tell you our babygirl is NOT on to something. This is a bad scene.

#oliver putnam #I dressed it up a little bit. little bowl of hummus and baba ghanouj and a scoop of labneh with a small amount of chopped up pickled veg #olive oil and salt and za'atar #I cannot fool my mouth into thinking this is something I should be eating straight with a utensil #martin short takes his craft very seriously

[dexteraspberries]

literally the most shit easy meal ever to make is cook some rice (u basically just ignore it for 20 minutes) cook some beans (u basically just ignore it for 30 minutes to an hour) and roast some frozen veggies (u basically just ignore it for 20 minutes).

just add like. barbecue sauce. or salsa. or a seasoning mix u like. some salt and pepper. maybe season your rice. it's so cheap easy and filling. and the ingredients are so accessible.

#i just fed my family with a cup of dry rice a cup of dry lentils and half a bag of frozen broccoli and i just threw some teriyaki sauce and- #-garlic salt on that shit and my husband and FIL are like THIS IS FIRE #like it literally just set the beans then the rice then the veggies and ignored it fully for 20 minutes #and it was done i just had to scoop it into bowls. #and u can change it up so much #theres so many different kinds of beans and different ways to cook them and so many different frozen veggies it never fails #like that meal cost around a dollar for the fuckin 3 of us plus what im taking to work for dinner #being vegan is CHEAP. sorry it's true.

[jet-apologistmybadhomies]

oooooh tell me more how u feel abt striker! me, personally, i adore him in oops but don't care for how he was handled in western energy 😒 the fight scene against mnm is my fave in show, tho!

oh my god i been waiting for this question!! everytime an ep drops with him in it i spamm my Friends about how i feel

me everytime hes on Screen

so i must apolgize this Just all my thoughts written into one messy text

u gotta know tho i absolutely love that Western outlaw bullshit like the Moment someone looks like that? i am eating it up its a gulity pleasure

his first appearnce was so cool i mean i did find the whole "hes the better Version" jealously trope kinda boring

but Striker was so cool during and did not acutally have anything"romantic" going on with millie just saved that for me

he has at least in his first ep that eat the rich mentallity that Always wins my heart the fact that hes queer also maybe did make me like him more cuz Cowboys should be gay 😁 nah fr he was giving me queer outlaw and the fact that everytime he Attacked someone it was acutally "scary" at least for the characters like sorry but

in a show thats about Killing and yk treats it as a joke to make him choke moxxie and have it genuinly feel threating was just awesome

u just knew he was different from the other villains

his Style was honestly fake Cowboy but i think we all know that the thing is its so stylish that i just dont care

Striker just eats with almost everything he did in the ep and the voice only made it better i even honestly like his second voice actor too but that may be cuz i am based

and yk its all good until the next time he Shows up and they start to make jokes 🥲 and its like WHY like he even swears like all the time which he didnt before and it takes from his whole vibe away ☹️ but yk i can forgive that cuz he literally Kidnapped stolas and the fact that hes working for stella gives him that lil hypocritic that i just love so i was yea its okay especially when he was on that horse 😙

and the fight scene was also awesome and i tbh found even "Harder" joke funny Where he just keeps having his fights be sexual and hes like wtf ACUTALLY if that would have been his first 'fuck' in the show it would have been 💯 funnier

but u could like feel that he gotten a whole less scary even tho he acutally harmed stolas

and that that mess of the third ep where he still has this cool vibe but its just completly runied by the fact that hes not scary that he has in the lost his cool and every other character is just weirdly useless next to him

him working with moxxies dad could be Potential for Angst tol but i honestly dont like Striker working with ppl i Think he is that loner and it fits him yk? but thats fine until he totally loses to blitzo and fizz even if his other fights were so cool? and now he looks like a rat which is still funny but kinda sad yk?

its Basically i can appricate the funny parts but its also so sad to his such a cool character be the butt of a joke 🥲 like it ruins him

BUT i still love him and i wish we acutally got to know more? like his Mixed , hates royals , is homeless and works with stella? like the Potential is so wasted

and i cant even see it working if they do try because even tho we have this whole opression shit going on the show keeps fucking it up? like imps supposed go be low?? but theres one thats a Mafia head theres on thats a star like sure they can be that but if so many can do that then blitzo and Striker just look dramatic next to it

or the fact that they keep making the sins nice at least some of the rich nice its just it makes Striker look like hes upset over nothing

anyway with all that out of the way .. i also think hes hot i am sorry especially the whole snake sounds and shit he has going on? yea idk

ps

i do kinda like him getting more unhinged the more he shows up? like ooo hes crazy too i love that

#striker helluva boss #take this with a grain of salt #striker #helluva boss Striker #helluva boss #just my thoughts in a big bowl #also i really like to headcanon him as ace #and make him use sex as a Manipulation tatic #“why is Always gotta be a sex thing” #so real Striker

[loop-deloo]

the vent diagram between funny n genius should be a circle, btw.

#i’m tipsy take everything i say with a fun little bowl of salt pls

[subsequentibis]

dungeon meshi was so right food is good and cooking is fun

#ignore me #i tried a new recipe and found out i like eggplant! WIN! #this is so necessary bc i have been stuck in the rut of my usual safe foods #now i have something new i can take for lunch YAY #hey sometimes you're 15 and you don't like food or eating much and you think like. #well i just won't make it to adulthood where i have to feed myself will i. #listen kid. beat 3 eggs til frothy. mix 1 cup flour 1 tbsp salt 1 tbsp pepper in a bowl. dice 1 eggplant. #soak eggplant in a mix of 1 tbsp mirin 1/2 tbsp soy sauce grated garlic & salt to taste for 10 min #coat eggplant in flour mix then beaten egg then breadcrumbs #heat 1 inch veg oil in a deep pan to 350 degrees and cook eggplant 1 min either side or til golden brown #eat the second it comes out of the pan. eat it while you cook the rest.

[bunnyb34r]

Ahhh! Things are good this Wednesday! I FINALLY got my time off approved for next week (just two days but I've been stressing ab them not approving it and having to dip into my pto time instead of just getting unpaid time off)

AND!!! I can hear one of the crabs moving around in the tank!! They both went down to molt within a week of each other and I thought they both passed away :( fingers crossed that they both come up and that the one and about rn doesn't uh eat the other) but one of them is up and moving under the dirt!!! :D

I can now go back to sleep peacefully and enjoy my day off sgdggdggf

#marquilla #im praying that the one thats up leaves the other be bc uh speedy died when he was under and they ate him... im hoping it was natural #causes and they were just being obligate cannibals and ate him bc theyre scavengers and not that they murdered him #i say that he was raptured bc we only found his shell when i finally had the courage to look for him #anyway funny that they start moving NOW bc i just removed the salt water bowl yesterday like well why waste saltwater if theyre both down #theyre like bitch?? hello??? ill fix it when i actually get up for the day agdgdgdg but they have food and fresh water dont worry #im both so relived and so anxious like oh thank god im still a crab mom but also uhhhh please dont eat your brother :((( please please??? #anyway im going back to bed sgdgdg i just got up to take my meds and on a whim checked my schedule and heard the crab(s)

[cextra-loz]

My mom doesn't understand the the concept that if she doesn't allow me to eat from the family breakfast that means I have to cook my own meal earlier. My mom doesn't understand the the concept if she wants me to be more independent it means I get to choose what meals I can prepare at what time, not on her time and not what she wants me to eat, she's flabbergasted

#rant #she wants me to eat salted avocado #like a bowl of avocado #all my meals are cold already i want this one to be warm #i can only stand on my feet for a few mins at a time i cant be preparing meals all day i have to choose my times strategically #she thinks im a dumb dumb that doesnt know how to cook #im not a dumb dumb im just physically incapable #im so upset but ill probably get over it after i adjust to the change #ive reverted back to eating salted cereal every morning like during my youth #its actually good but i miss warm food #tuna avocado sandwhich is my greatest achievement yet it takes like 8 mins to prepare and it taste great #problem is i think it might be lacking vitamins or something idk #luckily the cheerios seem to have a lot of essential vitamins so I eat that twice a day

[kiefbowl]

okay take about 430g of flour and 2 tps of yeast and 2 tps of salt, and put all that in a bowl you haven't greased. pour some water and mix, you'll want it to be sticky and gooey. okay so then when you like it you cover it up, and you let it sit room temperature somewhere for 2-3 hours until it doubles. if it hasn't doubled just wait longer, or maybe your yeast isn't doing it's job right, in any case it doesn't matter whatever we make will be edible in the end even if it wasn't what you were going for. you can use this time to preheat your oven to maybe about 475 F, idk what that is celcius sorry. once you're ready, you'll probably have enough dough for two loaves, so plop that big gooey baby on a floured surface and cut it roughly in half. then you can put them on some greased pans and bake for idk 20 minutes. you can always do more. you can also score the bread before it goes in, that's when you cut it on top. frankly, idk even why you do that, science or something. anyway, that's how you make bread. yeah yeah, baking is supposed to be precise, blah blah blah. do it once like this, and maybe it's wrong. maybe you live on a mountain or you use too much water or whatever. fine. it'll still be edible and you can just do it again and fix it and fix it and fix it until you can make bread just the way you like it. if our cave dwelling ancestors figured out how to make shitty pieces of bread by a cave fire with naught a worry but yum yum yummy in my tum tum tummy you can use your high tech oven and figure out how to make a four ingredient bread by doing some goof ups. don't let baking scare you. you aren't making petit four for a queen. you're making some yum yum for your tum tum to save $7.85 each week. do it. do it now. go make some bread.

[tl-trashtalk]

Fermin/Cancelo Not!Fic

while post of the barca players have their heads hanging low in defeat, cancelo still had energy to burn. angry at the outcome, at their performance, at the entire backline including himself. he was keyed up and it was throwing off the energy of the changing rooms.

fermin watched cancelo carefully and was feeling particularly keyed up himself, barely getting minutes in the match, like he was finally getting started right when the match ended. fermin quickened his movements, in time with cancelo's so that he could follow him out to the parking lot. when cancelo reached his car, fermin pulled cancelo back by the arm, his free hand pushing cancelo back against the car. cancelo's eyes were wide and a little crazy. fermin just gripped cancelo's jaw, looking up at him with a steel gaze.

***read more below the cut***

"let me come home with you. you look like you could still go a few rounds. i could too." very direct, simple, but not pushy or rude. cancelo is fascinated by fermin immediately.

cancelo turns his head, tries to look away. fermin lets go of him, but stands close in cancelo's space.

"are you sure you trust me right now?" cancelo finally looks at fermin with a question in his eyes.

fermin nods, pulling cancelo's face down to his and kissing him with confidence and ease. Cancelo melts a little bit at first, but he quickly turns hunger, urged on by Fermin's wandering hands. fermin reluctantly pulls back, catching his breath.

"you can be a little rough with me, joao" fermin's fingers dance up cancelo's chest and neck, teasing his lips, "i really enjoy it"

cancelo's throat goes a little dry and so he clears it, hand gripping fermin's wrist suddenly, stopping his movement. fermin's eyes meet cancelo's, giving back a sweet smile that has fermin's laugh lines crinkling around his eyes. he gives cancelo the tiniest nod of approval. and in the next moment cancelo's hand is wrapping around fermin's throat and lower jaw.

Cancelo's touch is perfect, practiced, he's Done this before. Fermin's blood runs hot both from the pleasure of being right about cancelo's sexual preferences and also because it's been quite some time since he had a Dom that would be like putty in the palm of his hand. And Cancelo was perfect. he was smart enough to take direction, but just simple enough that he would never notice that fermin was really the one with all the power here.

whatever other line of thinking fermin's mind was following is very much put to a hault, because the older man is kissing him. fermin lets his hands wander to whatever part of cancelo he can reach. and eventually the wander under his shirt, seeking the hot skin there like a mistle. cancelo cant help but react to his touch and eventually is pulling back and letting fermin go.

the sound of laughter across the parking lot pushes the two of them a part. fermin peaks around the side of the car and sees joao and pedri talking quietly and looking moody. he turns his attenion quickly back to cancelo and says quietly, "we should take this back to mine. follow me?"

cancelo hesitates. fermin knows its because he wants fermin to ride with him. he's done this song and dance before. he knows how dom's can be when theyre thinking with their dick. before cancelo can even say anything, fermin answers the question in his eyes.

"i cant leave my car here. it will be suspicious" fermin's fingers tangle with cancelo's, "im really close to here. no more than 10 minutes, i swear"

"fine. ill follow back to yours. as long as youre sure about this?" cancelo asks, his hand cradling fermin's jaw. he's still focused, turned on, but the concern, the softness is unexpected. fermin's stomach flip flops. that was not a part of the deal.

fermin nods, clearing his throat and stepping back, "yes very sure. and i do appreciate the concern, but i dont want joao and pedri seeing my dick hard so let's…" he jerked this thumb over his shoulder.

cancelo chuckled a bit and after fermin got into his car, cancelo followed him out of the parking lot. and back to his place….

fermin would probably start off in cancelo's lap, making out for a bit, cancelo would hold on tightly, to his hips, fingers in his hair, maybe slap his ass a little. and when he got tired of that, fermin would get between his legs, let cancelo fuck his throat (even tho hes not very good at it) so it doesnt last long. joao would haul fermin up and carry him to the bedroom, where he'd take time, really fingering fermin taking his time just for the sake of playing with him for a bit. fermin would be so good, even tho he'd be dying to yell at cancelo to hurry up. not this time, tho. he doesnt want to be Too bratty their first go around. when they finally fuck, i think it would prob be face to face in some fashion, cancelo would be brutal with his pace tho, maybe just a standard, fermin almost folded in half, the back of thighs pink from where joao had slapped them a little earlier during fingering. i could even see cancelo's fingers ending up in fermin's mouth at one point. oh wait and fermins arms/hands are def tied above his head. nothing too tight that he couldnt get out of. but the illusion is enough to satisfy. and cancelo def feels like a marker to me. he'd pull out and cum all over fermin's stomach and maybe suck him off when fermin doesnt get off before him. fermin would be impressed that cancelo swallows every last drop, not letting up once.

the after care would be nice cancelo would be really soft, light and tender. lost of washing, cuddling, and kissing. fermin would love that cancelo feeds him grapes one by one and run his fingers through his curls, looking just a little enamoured. i think he'd prob even stay at his own insistence. fermin swearing he can go, that he's fine. so maybe there wouldnt be more cuddling during the night, both of the rather independent sleepers, but in the morning, fermin would Love the feeling of cancelo waking up, and wrapping around fermin from behind while theyre still on their side. just holding and kissing his neck.

fin.

#not!fic #a fermin/cancelo not!fic specifically #fermin #cancelo #fermin lopez #joao cancelo #m/m fic #barca fic #please take this with a grain of salt #ive smoked a bowl okay #my fic #my writing #my fan fic

[todayisafridaynight]

Sooooo if they did an updated version of that sexy Yakuza men list, where do you think Ichiban would place, I feel like he would be at least top 3 or even number one.

i need to restate that the initial list i posted wasnt an attractiveness tierlist but one of popularity- i dont know what deranged macaroni brain shit i was on????? to say the former?????? but. yeah. it was a popularity poll

in regards to popularity i'd HOPE bro would be... dare i say.... number one..... though i know better because majima fans scare me and would make sure he gets number one regardless if not number two or three at least. an expected outcome but still... i love him.. i think he deserves number one...

as for sexiness ?? uhhh idk. idk <:)

#snap chats #dont ask me for what i think people would find sexy people yelled at me for my baddie baddies list #it wasnt even a controversial list tbh i just put every bitch over 50 in the top two tiers im p sure #NOT EVEN THE ONLY OTHER ELDERLY BITCH I PUT UP THERE WAS HORINOUCHI AND YUTA'S DAD. HOW OLD IS TENDO ??? #im not reviewing this list. point is i didnt put EVERY old man up there i have SOME standards #everyone got so mad at me for shimano........ everyone so mean to me........ and horinouchi but i stand firm on that one idc #i need to move on if i look at this anymore im going to laugh #anyways no i dont know ?? i dont really find any characters sexy #at least i dont think in the same way everyone else does #sexy doesnt even mean sex-y to me like 'sexy' is just a regular adjecetive #anything can be sexy a bowl of cereal can be fucking sexy for all i know #and it is. god i want cereal so bad... #but no ichi especially isnt sexy to me. he's HANDSOEM and GORGEOUS and i LOVE HIM #but not sexy. sex doesn't apply anywhere near him for me #But Again sex isn't even in my brain 99% of the time so take whatever i say with the SMALLEST grain of salt

[kedreeva]

You can hear this bread. One second I'll show you. Please listen to my bread

This is a loaf of asiago chunk sourdough. Inside there are chunks of asiago. The dough was mixed with mashed garlic as well. The sound in the video is the cheese bubbling in the interior, echoing in the air pockets of the loaf. I'm going to eat the shit out of this for breakfast tomorrow.

This is the world's easiest sourdough loaf too, with only 6 hours total rising/proofing time!

Ingredients:

455g white bread flour

1 tsp sea salt

285g warm water

100g active, bubbly starter

120g Asiago cheese

(optional) crushed garlic to taste (I use about 2 cloves worth and it's a lot)

Asiago chunk sourdough bread

Cut asiago into smallish chunks

Combine flour and salt in one bowl

Combine starter and water in another bowl, stir until starter is dissolved.

Mix flour into the wet mixture until a dough begins to form. Knead on a well-floured surface until dough is smooth.

Mix in cheese (and garlic) until well incorporated

Dust rising bowl (solid! Not a basket!) with flour. Let dough rise 1 hour in warm spot, covered with plastic wrap

Fold over around the edges, place back in bowl seal-side down for 1 more hour

Repeat folding over around the edges, place back in bowl seal-side down for 1 more hour (3 total rising hours to here)

Shape dough into round if not, and place into proofing basket for 3 hours. Toward the end of this, preheat oven to 450F, with the cast iron pot so it's HOT when you add the dough.

Dump your dough onto your kneading board, fold over around the edges one more time, slice the top DEEPLY.

Bake 30 minutes seam-side down in covered cast iron pot at 450F. Remove lid, bake for another 30-40 minutes with lid off. (Cook time may vary on location and oven... MY OVEN takes this long. I just baked a loaf at a friend's that baked WAY differently, it was done in about 40 minutes total)

Remove and let cool completely before slicing. You can freeze it but slice it first.

#bread #sourdough #breadventure #I'm very excited #i baked this once before but i used a mix of parmesan and asiago #and the flavor was too much at once #too many different ones #so i did just asiago this time and it smells a lot better already #recipes #this one probably could have gone another 5 minutes but I'm sleepy

[gallusrostromegalus]

hi i see that you have much smart dog experience. i may have accidentally purchased such a dog. she's only 10 weeks, and ive had her 1, and she's already outmatched every puzzle feeder i got or have made. to the point that she is morosely disappointed when her food comes in an actual food bowl. do you know where i can find like. "heres 100 enrichment toys you can make out of free trash so your dog stops eating fucking rocks for enrichment" lists. i only have so many paper towel tubes XD

Herschel now just disassembles puzzle feeders, so I've been focusing on "Toys that, even if he already knows how to operate them, will still take TIME for him to collect the treat from" to give him something to fuss with.

Herschel eats all his meals out of a Kong Wobbler, because he will otherwise eat so fast he will literally inhale and choke on his kibble and I do not need him developing pneumonia from aspiration. Even though it's a "Simple" toy it slows him down and he does have to think a bit to tip it in the most efficient manner possible. Kong's "Flipz", "Gyro" and "Rewards Wally" are also really good "dog needs to think/carefully manipulate the toy for food" toys that act as both mental stimulation and exercise and "give human a break for up to twelve minutes" toys.

I highly reccomend KONG as a brand- they're local to Denver and have an impeccable saftey record and all of the toys I have gotten from them have held up extremely well vs. the ravages of three entirely too smart and strong-jawed dogs at once.

Some more thoughts:

If she's not prone to shredding rubber, the kind of treat toys she has to chew are also good stimulation.

If you don't want to give her That Many treats, my vet said that dogs can have as many green beans as they want. Just make sure that the beans haven't had salt added to them- canned usually does, but frozen green beans usually don't, but always check the label.

You can make nearly any toy last longer, or make a cheap long-puzzle by freezing the treats so they take longer to eat AND provides hydration. Herschel's most favorite treat of all time is literally a wad of sliced green beans in a dixie cup, filled with water and frozen. Just peel off the cup and hand him the chunk of ice and he's good for up to half an hour and more chill afterwards.

You can also freeze lick mats

If your girl is like Charlie and doesn't like greenbeans, you can also try freezing paper cups of: Canned pumpkin, apple slices in water, putting some ice cubes in the bottom of the cup, a gob of peanut butter in the middle and then fill it with water to make a peanutbutter filled ice cube.

If your girl is REALLY like charlie who has figured out how to use labor negotiation and strike tactics for better treats: boiled chicken chunks frozen in some of the water you boiled them in.

Walkies are as much mental stimulation as they are physical exercise. Take her out and let her sniff to her heart's content.

Also Puppies in particular need like, SO MUCH exercise.

Let her participate in activities with you. Herschel and charlie sit in the kitchen and I narrate cooking dinner to them, which seems to interest them, even if I don't have spare veggie ends to give them. I also frequently bring them along in the car if I'm running errands when it's cold enough to do that, so they have something new to look at, and get to participate. I also am more likely to stop at a new park and give myself some exercise and mental stimulation.

Training her to do tasks is GREAT Smart Dog enrichment- esp if she's a herding or heeler, they LOVE being helpful. I taught the dogs they get a small treat if they come in from the yard without me having to go chase them down, which saved me a lot of hassle, and now I'm working on teaching herschel to pick things up off the floor for me if I drop them and alert for chickpeas, which my housemate is allergic to.

A lot of dogs like cat-type toys. Tie a stick or some fleece to some paracord and drag or flycast it around for her to chase/play tug with when she catches it. Toys that bounce unexpectedly were also a huge hit. or just wave the string around the cat and the corgi both like that.

If you live in farm country or know other people with pets, you can grab something with the scent of another animal on it and bring it home for her to smell. Charlie and Herschel spent the better part of three days investigating the wad of horse undercoat I brought home and put in the spare wobbler for them to smell.

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Well, well, well if it isn’t the consequences (scratchy and sore throat and making me unable to talk) to my actions (having visceral, excited and loud reactions to things on tv for two days in a row).

#payton goes to: college #I hate it here #I gargled some warm salt water and almost vomited the first time #had the saddest bowl of oatmeal ever #I need to take some Robitussin before class and root around in the suite to see if there might be a whiteboard I can use to communicate with

[zoethebitch]

Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna take 4 russet potatoes. You're gonna peel them and dice them. You're gonna set them in a bowl of cold water so they don't oxidize. Then you're gonna cook a half pound of bacon until crispy and set it aside. You're gonna melt 4 tablespoons of butter in a dutch oven. No more, no less. Add some diced onion and garlic to that. Saute it for a couple minutes. Then you're gonna add 4 tablespoons of flour and make a roux. You're gonna add 3 cups of milk to the roux. Slowly. Don't get in a hurry. Then add 3 cups of chicken stock. Add plenty of salt and pepper. Bring it to a boil. Add your potatoes in. Let that simmer for 20 minutes. Then you're gonna add some sour cream, the chopped up bacon from earlier, and some grated cheddar. You're gonna stir that together for 5 minutes. And then garnish it with a little green onion and shredded cheddar. You got it?

#not my recipe I got it from @bibo

[eiightysixbaby]

older! eddie finally having enough of reader calling him old man and he decides to show her how much of an old man he really is😏😏😏

“old man yeah?” he says grinning ear to ear when you whine pathetically underneath him, “wanna say that again?” he coos

18+ only pleaaaase!

The ball rolls down the lane, heavy and awkward, knocking into the pins and only sending a couple falling.

“That was possibly the worst throw of the night, Munson!” Robin says, smiling proudly when Eddie glares at her.

He groans, swiveling his arm to stretch out his shoulder.

“Not fair, this shit used to be easy. ‘S fuckin’ killing my shoulder tonight,” he comments, picking up his bottle of beer and clinking it with the top of Steve’s in a sort of pity toast to his bad turn.

“Oh, come on, old man!” you tease, standing to take your turn. You pick up your bowling ball from the bunch, giving Eddie a devious glance. “Let me show you how it’s done, sans any shoulder pain or back pain or pain in any other body part,” you smirk, earning a laugh from Steve.

“Ouch,” he says. “She’s got you there, Ed. Shoulder pain, really? When we’re not even halfway through this game.”

“Oh fuck off, Harrington. Wasn’t it two nights ago I saw you buying Epsom salts complaining about sore muscles? From a day at the pool with your kids?”

“Listen, the amount of times I had to pick them up and toss them into the water—”

You giggle, letting the two of them bicker as you take your turn. You let the ball go in a more elegant manner than Eddie, standing at the end of the lane as you wait to see the outcome. Sure enough, all ten pins fall with a scattered crash, and you bounce up and down eagerly.

“Woo!” Robin and Steve cheer, Eddie rolling his eyes as you high-five them.

“Alright, sweetheart, so you think you’re the superior bowler?” he asks, pulling you against him.

“I know I am, old man,” you draw out the last two words, pressing a polished finger to his chest. “Unless you really think you can show me up. But I wouldn’t want you hurting that shoulder while you try,” you pout, seeing the way the look in his eyes changes at your teasing. “Can’t have you doing too much… physical activity.”

“Alright, so that’s how you want to be, hm?” he asks, his voice low. “Just wait ‘til we get home, darling.”

The comment makes you shiver, his figure slipping away from you as soon as the words are out of his mouth. You watch him leave to get another drink, your mouth slightly agape as film reels run through your head, showcasing the activities that probably await you when you return home. Chewing on your lip, you return to your seat next to Robin, knowing full well you’re going to get under Eddie’s skin as much as you possibly can before the night is over.

Stumbling through the door just before midnight, a couple shitty bowling-alley-bar mixed drinks in your system, Eddie’s got his finger hooked in the waistband of your too-tight jeans, pulling you into him.

“That was real fucking cute, the way you kept mocking me all night,” he rasps, his warm breath fanning your ear, his lips barely grazing the shell of it. “If I had to hear you call me an old man one more time, I swear I was going to put you in the car and fuck you right there in the parking lot,” he says, kissing at your jaw.

You whine a little, tilting your head to the side to allow him better access.

“This is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?” he asks, knowing the answer.

“Ed—” you pant, trying to paw at the buckle on his jeans.

“It is, god of course it’s what you wanted. I know your angles, baby,” he purrs, his voice dripping with lust.

He presses a hot kiss to your mouth, his tongue licking against your teeth. Your hands climb up his back, clawing at the fabric of his shirt as if your plan is to rip it off of him. He picks you up, carrying you down the hallway without breaking the kiss. He’s tossing you on the bed before he pulls his shirt off, exposing his modest muscles from years of hard work at the shop. You never tire of looking at the tattoos that decorate his pale skin, the ink fading with time.

He’s undoing his belt while you’re stripping bare on his bed, feeling your face heat when you catch him staring at your tits.

“Damn, I’m going to fuck the absolute shit out of you tonight,” he breathes, smiling boyishly, betraying his age despite the soft wrinkles in his face.

“Are you?” you ask, one final taunt, pushing him over the edge.

“Oh, sweetheart. G’na have you crying for me,” he says, moving to hover on top of you on the bed. “You’re not gonna be able to fucking walk tomorrow,” he murmurs, nipping at your earlobe.

It’s quick and without warning when he slips two fingers inside of you, making you mewl as your hands tangle in his hair. He curls them expertly, he knows your body like the back of his hand by now, knows exactly what to do to have you screaming for him.

His eager mouth licks and sucks on your breasts, tugging your nipples gently with his teeth as your back arches. Your body accepts a third finger from him easily, sucking him right in as wet, filthy noises fill the bedroom.

“Eddie,” you whine, already on the edge of your orgasm. Your breathing is heavy, eyes pinched shut beneath him as he works you to your breaking point.

You cum around his fingers with a cry, body shaking violently as he works you through it. You feel like you’re on fire, his touch igniting every inch of you. All you want is more.

“Old man, huh?” Eddie muses as you come down from your first high of the evening. “Looks like this old man still knows how to please. So do you wanna call me that again, sweetheart?”

You shake your head, knowing you’re already in for quite the night.

“Good,” he says, dipping down to kiss your lips, your jaw, your neck. “Cause we’re just getting started.”

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