#sweetangelpalacebagel

[meetmeatthecoda]

Coda, how are you doing?

If you have time, can I ask about Director’s Cut on “Epsy”?

Hello, my dear friend!! 😄 I'm doing well, thank you so much for asking!! 😍 I hope you are doing fabulous!! 🥰 I certainly have time for this (at least now I do - I'm sorry for the delay on this 😂) & I am flattered you want to hear more about Espy - I had fun with it! - so I'll put my notes under a read more for convenience!! ❤️

So, I basically wrote this fic around the idea of Liz having second thoughts about her revenge mission on Red, him getting hurt in the crossfire, Liz panicking about it & rethinking things, & - ultimately - Liz observing Red when he can't see her, like in the end of the Borne Supremacy where Jason Borne is looking at Pam Lundy (unbeknownst to her) & tells her to "get some rest, you look tired". Weird inspiration, I know, but I just loved that twist at this point in season 8 for Red & Liz. (That's also why I chose the title "espy" 😁)

I had specific settings in mind for both scenes in this fic & I loved the idea of Liz, Skip, & Agnes at a fountain for the first scene with Agnes having fun looking at the ducks 😊🦆

I remember having a hard time writing Liz's mental state in the beginning of this but, at this point, I find it kind of necessary to always define the current mentality of either Red or Liz, given that writing Lizzington always comes with a certain amount of mental gymnastics & AU 😒😒😒 But I think I established what I wanted to, which was Liz feeling confident but - overall - that the physical distance is giving her some mental clarity & making her question her motivations which imo it definitely should have.

I also really enjoyed putting Skip firmly in the role of bad guy/T*m replacement in terms of sliminess. He rubbed me the wrong way from the start, so it was super satisfying to draw parallels from him to T*m & establish Liz's mistrust of him which imo she should have had.

I also got tons of petty satisfaction from writing him completely horrible with Agnes & having Liz make the parenthetical observation that Red would never treat Agnes that way, tee hee.

I wrote Liz's scheme falling through mostly bc this was on the heels of the ep where she endangered a whole plane full of innocent passengers for her own stupid goals, while the only chance of saving them rested in the completely uninformed Task Force's hands, so it could have easily been a disaster. That was appalling to me at the time (way to go TPTB) so this scenario was meant to be a bit of a reality check for Liz while keeping innocent people out of the way & only banging up Red a bit, something which would serve as a wake-up call for her in more ways than one.

I loved writing the ultimate confrontation between Liz & Skip, occurring over her feelings about Red, & for some reason I adored the line about Liz feeling a bland satisfaction at being able to push around Skip & parenthetically wishing that "Tom and all the damage he did would stay dead where they belong." I thought that line hit different & I liked it.

(I had fun making Agnes understanding & agreeable & excited about playing princesses on the plane, cause we barely got any decent mommy!Liz moments in canon & it's really sad 🥲)

And the "she has someone she needs to see." line before the break was meant to be a nod to the title, as well as foreshadowing.

I remember having a little trouble writing Red's opening paragraphs, establishing his perspective on what happened & more so on his injuries, which is something - along with action - I'm not very good at writing LOL

But I liked the mental image of Red booking it out of an empty building while Aram is counting down on the phone stuck in his pocket. Poor thing.

(I also needed Dembe strictly in the role of caretaker while not being technically in the fic & I got a chuckle out of writing that he dropped Red off to investigate the empty building & peace-d out to go get a cheeseburger, cause he has such a canon love for food 😂)

I also liked the idea of Liz's apparent betrayal hurting Red more than any injury he sustained cause I love angstttttt 🥲

I loved the idea of Red being too tired & sore to even get a drink when alcohol was surely something he relied on in that time when Liz was out to get him, meanwhile him collapsing in the chair instead of a bed was more of a necessity plot-wise so Liz could see him through the window wall - which I also remember was hard to describe. I kept fiddling with the description.

The attempted verbal sparring & Red's befuddlement over Liz's unexpected concern was very fun to write.

I couldn't help but include that whiplash line, it made me snort 😏

I liked the lighter, softer conversation of Red asking where Liz is, Liz calmly declining to answer but bringing up Agnes, & Red asking how she is.

I almost didn't include Liz saying that Agnes asks about Red, that was a last minute addition, but I once I thought of it & realized it fit in pretty well, I liked the added emotional depth & it being the climax of the conversation with Red's desperate "it doesn't have to be this way -" followed by Liz just not being ready for the next part of the conversation & Red accepting that & letting her go with a wish for her to be safe.

And of course the little twist of the Jason Bourne-esque ending - I remember tweaking and re-tweaking that paragraph & the subsequent ending bc it's the real center of the fic & I wanted it to be good.

And the last line is a reference to the title as well 😊

Well, there you go, my friend, I hope this was interesting/entertaining for you to read!! 😅 Thank you so much again for asking about this fic, I really appreciate!! 🥰 Much love to you, my friend!! ❤️

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #fanfic #espy #ask games #fanfic writers: director's cut #mine #ask #sweetangelpalacebagel #here you go my friend #:D #i hope you like this #:) #much love to you!! #<3