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softscottlang · 6 years

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Breathe (Tom Holland)

[Tom Holland x Reader]

Warning: accusations of cheating and panic attack

Summary: Tom has been suspicious so you do some snooping to find out what he’s actually been doing.

A/N: I love Big Time Rush

Word Count: 1.5k

You and Tom had been dating for almost two years now, and you were both happy together. The two of you lived in England and used to go to school together. That was until he started getting gigs and you wouldn’t see him as often. Now you lived in London for school and you had a part time job at a local café.

You thought everything had been going fine with your relationship with Tom, perfect even! But you were getting suspicious. Every time he would look at his phone he would smile or laugh, you had to admit this made you self-conscious. Were you that unnoticeable? or maybe he was getting bored with you.

For at least a month you had put it off as just him seeing a funny meme or something but when you tried to peek at his phone, he would hide it from you and walk away. But not without planting a kiss on your cheek.

Now he would just get up out of the room and take his phone with him where ever he went. This made you feel anxious, like your chest was filled with air, but you couldn’t breathe. So, you made the decision to figure out what was going on.

When Tom went to shower the next morning, you noticed that his phone was left on the charger. The black case stood out against the white bedside table. You had an internal debate with yourself, if you looked, you would be betraying his trust. If you didn’t, you would keep wondering what if.

Quickly your hand grasped the iPhone and hit the home button. You noticed how the screensaver was a picture one of the guys had taken of you two cuddled on the couch a few weeks ago. The smile on your face was evident as you saw the picture.

But not even half a minute later, his phone flashed signaling he got a text. You closed your eyes out of fear that it could be the girl he was cheating on you with.

It took all the strength you had to open your eyes, what you were met with was exactly what you didn’t want to see. You felt your chest concave, like you heart was now missing from it being broken. You felt the tears weld up in your eyes.

Melissa 💍

Hey! I finally got that photo you wanted! 💕

(one attachment)

As much as you wanted to look away, you couldn’t. It was just too much to take in at one time. He had actually gone behind your back and been with another woman. You felt the first of many tears to fall down your face. After two whole years, this was the thanks you got, being used and taken for granted.

You were so consumed in your own thought, you didn’t even notice Tom walk into the room in a pair of sweats and a towel in his hand.

“Darling? What’s wrong?” His voice made you look at him, suddenly your sadness bubbled into rage. He used you!

You pushed yourself off of the bed and stalked over to him, his phone in your hand still. You felt a burning sensation in your chest, you were never this mad before.

“Why don’t you just go call Melissa ‘Darling’, you obviously like her more than you do me.” You say shoving his phone into his chest before storming towards the door. Just as you were about to grab the handle, Tom pulled your wrist towards him.

“Y/N, what are you talking about?” He looked genuinely confused, causing you to be even more infuriated at him. Did he really think you wouldn’t find out?

“I know you cheated on me” You say with as much confidence as you could muster at that moment. “I thought you loved me Tom.” It was that moment that you broke. You felt everything around you start to spin, your head started pounding.

“I do love you Y/N, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” His voice was calm, soothing even. You would have missed him if the circumstances were different.

“I saw her text, she obviously doesn’t think that you love me, or she knows and doesn’t care.” You said looking past his face, if you made eye contact with him, you knew you’d never be able to finish this conversation. You wouldn’t be able to push down the feeling of unworthiness that you had been holding for years now.

“You read my text? I can’t believe you!” Tom said throwing his hand without his phone in the air. “I never did that to you, not in the two years we have been dating! I thought we respected each other’s privacy enough to not push those boundaries.” He said before turning towards the closet to grab a shirt. You hadn’t noticed he wasn’t wearing one, but you didn’t have time to swoon right now.

“So, it’s ok for me to feel self-conscious about myself because you became interested in someone else? If you aren’t in love with me anymore then tell me, don’t string me along until you don’t need me anymore!” You felt all the anger go from your chest, through your throat and out of your mouth. Now you were left with the sadness again, the empty feeling in your heart.

“I never said that! I am so in love with you, so much so that I was planning on proposing to you tomorrow night, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you Y/N! Melissa is a jeweler at the Jewelry shop in town that you love. She was sending me pictures of the ring do I could make sure it was perfect for tomorrow!” He said throwing his phone on the bed then turning towards you with pitiful eyes. “I spent a month getting this ring to be just right for you!”

You were at a loss for words, you knew you shouldn’t have looked at his phone, but you needed answers and you thought he would understand that. Out of his whole rant, one thing stood out to you.

“Wanted? You don’t anymore?” You felt your voice crack from the amount of emotions you were having all at once. You felt sadness, confusion, desperation and above all, stupidity. It was a feeling you had become accustomed to, no matter how much it hurt to say in your mind.

“Now I’m not so sure, if it was that easy for you to think I was cheating on you, then maybe we shouldn’t be together anymore.” He couldn’t even look you in the eyes, instead he looked at the floor while you looked at him in exasperation. Your heart was torn, ripped and shattered just by his simple sentences that rendered the last two years of your life meaningless.

Everything was suddenly spinning; the outer rim of your vision was turning black. Your breathe was slipping away from you, causing you to feel as though you were suffocating.

You wanted to move towards him, to draw him close and into your embrace and apologize a thousand times but you were so scared, you couldn’t move. No matter how hard you willed your body to, you were stuck in one spot unable to become mobile.

It was as if you had pushed the mute button on the world and you were stuck on pause. You were scared out of your mind! The more you tried to move, the more it seemed that you were never going to be able to. You felt your insides twist and turn with fear as you internal freaked out.

Tom must have noticed because he grabbed your hand and sat you on to the bed, he stared straight into your eyes. His brown eyes piercing yours, he started talking soothingly to you, but your ears were buzzing so much you couldn’t hear what he was saying. You knew what was happening to you, a panic attack. You hadn’t had one since you got together with Tom, but he seemed to be able to figure out what to do.

“Breathe baby, you have to breathe” You could finally hear what he was saying. He kept saying the same phrase over and over until you nodded your head indicating that you understood and agreed with what he was saying.

“Breath In,” You did exactly what he told you to as you stared directly into his eyes. “Breath Out.” You continued this process for a few more minutes before you felt your hands move towards him and pull him close to you. He quickly wrapped around your torso and bury his face onto the nape of your neck.

“I’m so sorry Tom. I should have just trusted you.” You say after a few minutes of just holding each other.

“It’s okay baby, we will be okay.” And you guys were, you were okay.

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Tom Holland Tags: @yourwonderbelle @ironspiderman98 @leasly @jadedjules @blueeyedbesson @jophiehoe @embrace-themagic @stevieboyharrington @justapotatonow @confusionboner @annymcervantes @cherryhao @robfangirl @katiekinzs @theheartlocker @determinedpines @starryrevelations @logan8546 @anitalasirenita @mortumnoctis @cherrym4rk @emmyfignewton @infinityonfiction @tom-hollands-eyelash @fandomsfavorite @caitlyn-blackwell @damnhisfaceisliketheskyatnight @Mae @Pasty-buns @thirteenreasons-whynot @supernaturalpllfan1 @jtorresuck @my-shameless-bouquet @kawaii-girl-101 @Tomhollandishy @allurasparker @Marauders_Trash @marauders_trash_forever @jeremiah-crane @quitetommy @bookgirlunicorn @protecthefuckingbees @kittenclever @da5haexowin @emilyackles @lunatardisblue @obsessedlittleangel @theasgardiansmidgardian @fab-notfat @xxxxdelenaxxxx @spideyyypeter @babyyhollandd

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