#staying in 1 room all day

[jimmy3shoes]

i need to get out of this house so so bad

#snac munches #don't open tags i'm ve/nting ok #432462464362 #231321421421 #43243242352 #etc. to block it #sorry if these are actual tags somehow. my bad #i will not go into details but this blogger may not be here by the week #literally just staying in this house with 3 other people #staying in 1 room all day #no job no money no food friends moved on #like what do i even do #my mom is the only one of those 3 that talks to me and it's never about me #never [how are you feeling] [do you wanna go out] [wanna do something together?] #just about my future so much pressure GOD #i never thought i'd have one of those i thought i'd be dead before 16 #Can i have a moment. Pelase #and i TRY i try to get out of my room #i spend time with my mom but it's so one-sided #i listen to her when she talks and i watch shows with her and go places she likes #the moment i bring up one of my interests she brings out her phone or goes [i wasn't listening what?] #Mann I Couldn't even get anything for my birthday sobbing #And now that i think abt it my mom didn't get me anything either?? i get that we're short on money but like #i didn't even get a [happy birthday] #And we've been infested with beetles for 4 YEARS nothing's been done #I am at my limit fr #a2t #<- jic

[kirby-the-gorb]

#kirby #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #bad news lads (gender neutral) turns out I just don't like camping #we'd already set it up so I would only stay one night because I knew I'd probably need to go home early for one reason or another #so it's nbd #but it turns out camping is kinda pointless if you're with literally any other people at all #I could see the appeal if it was literally me alone and like not even my partners or anything #but we were in a group of like. 20 people. 1/3rd children. #but even without all the extra people if it's not like Total Isolation it's like. #I could still go spend all day in the woods and just also sleep in a bed after yknow? #it only loses you like 10 minutes of tree-time depending where you are #and like I kind like being inside a tent! it's cozy! but I could just. sleep in a room. with a tv and a microwave. #idk bro it's not for me #even without sleeping in the mud and being woken up for a guard shift in the middle of the night. #even if the children had not been there. #and I wonder if it's like a ~toughness~ thing for some people but like. #come on man. #(I know it is also often a lot cheaper especially for big families than other vacation accommodations) #(at least after the upfront investment on gear) #(which like that's fair! but it's not an applicable concern for me!) #(it's not a big enough difference that we could afford one and not the other as a family of 3 adults)

[moonchild-in-blue]

Just got here. Tf is happening?

#strawbebies?? #halo my love are you okay?? #everyone clap i spent the last 4 hours totally offline 👍 <- was playing sims #(game is going well in case you're wondering) #(yes i am still building jorgen and mona's house. it took me a while to get everything exactly right) #(we are decorating now FINALLY) #it's been 4 days yes i know. listen. i take this seriously #no they are not my active family. they are simply my Sims's besties #yes im aware i will spend very little time inside their house. so what. i want my friends to have pretty and luxurious homes #the helvigs are living GOOD. got them a little inside pool and all #because why not #it pains me to make it all celebrity white minimalism but i gotta stay true to them. #the Scandinavian architecture does make it a lot better. nice warm wood accents and floors to make it less sterile #still. i gave them the most obnoxious wood centre table for the main living room and put exactly one (1) single flower there #i don't mind minimalism but this is too much uhg. i hate how vogue catalog this is turning out #ngl i am very seriously considering getting a minor only degree in interior design. like. I'm halfway there already #ANYWAYS. how is everyone? all we are alive still? facing the horrors? being brave?

[rithmeres]

genuinely these panels are going to make me ugly cry

#i'm not back for real yet i think i want to stay away longer. i'm just here to put more things in the queue and answer messages #i really enjoyed trimax vol 4 idk something about it was less miserable than 1-3 #might have been the first volume that i wasn't grimacing the entire time i read it. or maybe i'm just desensitized now. #unironically this prayer is soooo beautiful to me. give us this day our daily bread. not bread for the week not bread for a year #just enough for today. #lately when i've been praying it just looks like #please for the love of god please please please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPL #things are not looking good for the community house.. lots bureaucracy with the city. and the church that funded us is falling apart #i don't know what i'm going to do if we get shut down it's the one thing in my life that's worth anything #all those kids... where are they going to go. who is going to help them. where is the neighborhood going to get their food. #in two days it will be the anniversary of [REDACTED] and i am so so so scared #just sat in my room today and fruitlessly scrolled thru jobs im not qualified for & tried not to think about thinking about killing myself #i don't WANT to kill myself i don't want to think about it i hate thinking about killing myself i will never ever kill myself or even try #but there is a demon or perhaps a ghost or evil wizard that tells me there's an easy way everything can go away. and it's A STUPID. BITCH. #please do not reply to this post i know you all mean well but i just don't think i can handle it. #talking about it i mean. and hearing people say nice but empty things. #i just wish i had someone to sit next to me. #personal #i don't want to go to church tomorrow :( it all feels so fake and i do not ever feel fed.

[villainsidestep]

got sad abt fawn’s little motel room again 😞

#gideon shut the hell up challenge #we were thinking abt it in canon but then thought abt it in v3/v3au so. now we have to talk abt those #themmy who gets to be the first to get invited over. it takes a bit to build up to it and then even after they all think they’re ready #it takes another few days to actually Work Up To It. themmy gets first pick bc they’re the least intrusive of the group #the ortegas are close to the group ofc but they are nosy and pushy but this is The Becker���s space. so they get told no when they ask #if they can tag along. (they ofc get approval later after a few times of themmy getting to visit #bc 1. they won’t stop asking but 2. they’re more comfortable w the permitted intrusion that they get a test run) #honestly I feel like one of the ortegas would offhandedly ask Whose room it is (bc they expect them each to have their own) #and the siblings are like no it’s Ours. plural. and then the topic gets dropped bc they’re skittish enough already they won’t push more rn #ohhh the besties giving them little house warming gifts to help spruce the place up but next time they go over it still looks just as plain #except u ask ‘hey what happened to [xyz]?’ and they retrieve it from wherever it’s squirreled away #solo!survivor au…. imagine having to go back to the motel room alone for the first time #you know where the traces of your siblings are hidden. but they aren’t in immediate sight so it feels so Empty. #digging out all of their belongings just to have them closer to you even if it goes against everything you’ve all done this whole time #maybe you don’t stay alone. maybe you invite an ortega over. maybe you invite both. #maybe they show up with a bottle of wine each and none of you say anything bc you don’t know what you even would #maybe they help you pack up everything to move apartments. maybe you don’t let them touch anything. maybe them just being there is enough

[silverislander]

rereading a book i loved in high school to annotate a copy. remembering why it connected w me so much

#its the miseducation of cameron post btw #i read it literally 3 times in the space of 2mos almost back to back #i brought it on two trips- that was the year we went to austria and the year i went to national music camp #and like. yeah. yeah i guess that was why #smth abt that book just really cuts to the heart of what it was like for me growing up in the church #my church wasnt the wbc or anything ofc but like. they also werent/arent queer affirming and its hard to explain how it hurt me #bc everyone expects a story where someone sits me down and like. threatens to beat me if im gay or whatever #that didnt happen. its just that i figured out by osmosis from this environment that i was wrong and that i should be ashamed #and nobody ever challenged that assertion so it stuck for years afterwards #its like growing up in a house w mold in it youll never really know that its there until youre told but you know smth is hurting you #and by the time you realize what it is its gonna take fucking forever to remove #and thats how it is w cameron! she knows long before shes sent to the camp #i just keep coming back to how everyone who went to nationals w me came back talking abt this amazing spiritual experience they had #and how much it meant to them to be able to go #and all i was thinking was that i didnt make even 1 friend and everyone treated me like i was fucking diseased the entire time #the guys didnt want me around bc i was a girl and the girls didnt want me around bc i wasnt a girl to them #my roommate acted scared of me from day fucking one and i still dont really know why. wouldnt stay in the room w me #i would sit down somewhere in the common area and people physically turned away from me to have their own conversations #i think they knew. i wasnt out at camp ofc but im p sure they knew smth was up w me #levi.txt #idk. i dont have a Trauma to point to but i feel like calling the effects of what the church did to me religious trauma is appropriate #it fucked me up so so bad. i had to work through so much shit and im still not out of it #today im not ashamed of being queer but im still discovering new issues that living like that gave me all the time #ultimately. im ok rn dw just thinking a lot. its a great book im glad to reread it and really analyze it! its fun

[entropys]

spent the entire day on my bed/couch playing sudoku 🫠 it was fun tho 10/10 would do again

#mitigating the pain im feeling by focusing on sudoku instead #brain 1 body 0 #taking a mental health break this weekend to recover from uni work #the mental health break meant completely ignoring that im a student #i cleaned my entire room and stayed with the kids all day on thursday so friday my body gave up on me and now im a couch potato #its nice to not have my brain fogged with midterms for once

[fideidefenswhore]

🔥 whatever you like

Thanks!

So, there's been a few articles in the past decade or so that express distaste at the comparison of Princess Diana & AB (and a fair amount of umbrage in misc comments on social media at any parallels being drawn whatsoever, generally, I'm not gonna lie, from C/oA stans...Catherine was the Princess of Wales, Catherine was the one that was popular and beloved by the people, I think these are the broader strokes they believe should be associated with her more...that Catherine was the older of the pair does not seem to matter, that Catherine was, like Camilla, the one that knew 'the prince' the longest doesn't matter, because Camilla was Other Woman and AB was Other Woman, and as such they were both hated by the public, they will never see past any other elements of the story/stereotypes than those, esp. because ultimately they believe all the animus directed at both of those women was/is entirely deserved and justified);

But what's interesting is it's not even so much on the grounds that there are always pitfalls in sanctifying people in general, it's generally pearl-clutching about how Diana deserves sanctification, deserves every possible iteration to be made of her life, and AB does not...the answer to the 'moral quandary' presented in the The Times' BSR review, "Anne Boleyn is being rebooted — but was the tragic Tudor queen a whore and a witch or the Princess Diana of the Tudor age?" by Alison W/eir was basically that she wasn't a whore or a witch, but again, her oh-the-humanity answer of "she wasn't a very nice person" and deserved her "unpopularity in her own time", and was so far from Princess Di, woe to those that popularize AB, somehow she omits herself from that list, how stupid they are to ever believe otherwise, etc

The implication of the above is more what's funny to me... she shouldn't be treated as Princess Diana, because Anne 'had a mean streak' (using "words as one would not address to a dog", from a source no less than above reproach than that of an ex-flame)... but, Diana didn't? The woman who pushed her stepmother down a flight of stairs? The woman who confronted her children's nanny with an entirely personal, private (and leaked, to her belief, although it was later revealed it was another doctoring by Bashir) medical document? Diana was sanctified because she died tragically; if she were still alive today, she would almost certainly be "cancelled"; famous (women, particularly...they are generally judged more harshly) people have been cancelled for much less.

And then we have author Vanora Bennett, who did compare them, but not favorably, and rather misogynistically (to other women, as well):

[Anne] didn’t have the knack for self-reinvention that has brought modern celebrities such as Victoria Beckham long-term success, or the tight-lipped compliance that saw Kate Middleton claim her prize after eight years of waiting for Prince William to propose.

If anything, Anne reminds me more of Princess Diana – both of them charming and glamorous, yet unable to maintain smooth relations with the royals around them; manipulative and sometimes vindictive, yet posthumously elevated to icons of victimhood; dying too soon and leaving young children to cope with their tragic legacy.

Unfortunately this assessment has also been given academic gloss, but luckily this has mainly been limited to GW Bernard's asinine, quasi-profound remark that since Diana had sex outside of her marriage, AB probably did, too.

Idk, I've honestly just been thinking about this because I've been thinking about fan reactions as I watch The Crown, puzzled by how Peter Morgan is so good at writing those royals, but so bad at writing these royals...

Because, really, I think there are elements of both Camilla and Diana's stories in AB's? On the surface level, you have ebullient, charismatic, cheated on by her husband, husband dated her sister 1st, (honestly, never not going to be a weird thing, it must have been borne out of...I suppose, both the utterly limited society of 'acceptable' people to interact with for those of extreme wealth and the entitlement and belief you're above such provincial concerns as ‘That's Weird’), which is probably what led to that being motif in the Kristen Stewart as Diana movie.

And then, Anne was unpopular, but it was said basically, that...those who knew her, loved her, and those that didn't were, at the least, captivated by her despite themselves.

How much of her contemporary slander was from people that had only ever glimpsed her? I think we forget that when we forget how late the sixth-finger and other misc. deformities were alleged. 'Goggle-eyed whore' is the mark of someone who saw her from enough of an distance that the only feature of note was those infamous, large eyes.

Often people confuse charisma with popularity, very often they go together but they are not interchangeable, not synonymous. Charisma can only take effect within intimate contexts. As such, it's true that Anne had one but not so much the other.

Who knows how she might have fared, popularity-wise, if she'd had the powers of radio, TV, etc at her disposal...they're creative reimaginings out of her control/remit, but she has those now and seems to have done better on that front in immortality than she did in mortality/life.

What we have basically is two elements -- "royal mistress" and "threatening the image of the monarchy", and maybe even a little “marrying for love [when royal]”. These are all broad narrative stripes that are seen as “scandalous”, all seen as disruptive, against status quo, so they are always going to inspire creators. At the end of the day, the hand-wringing over that inspiration rings ... insipid? Naiive? Take your pick. 

#i just want to be hated.gif #this ask is showing how old i am aghbrfsdkl #katherynparr #which is just . ancient #i do hate the kids just cancelling everyone left right and center these days and like. the bloodsport glee they get out of it; tbh #it allows no room for humanity or redemption. i just see all the glittery tiktok edits of diana by them nowadays #and am like...you would hate her? HATE her is she were still alive. #she was human and complex and flawed and 'difficult' #but yeah that catherine was the older of the pair does not matter at all; i guess it's more the idea of her being first? #there are now two edits to the 'i'll get older but your lovers stay my age' which.. hgofsd. alright #1) when you know what relationship that song is inspired by. one with an age gap but larger and in the reverse...kind of funny #2) catherine howard was 24; was she? catherine parr? b e s s i e b l o u n t? #you can hate henry for other reasons but he wasn't a leo dicaprio figure when it came to his romantic relationships #they were all (some of them; very) different women of different ages... #YA BURNT tho .

[mangostar]

going out with a social worker soon.. I HATE THIS!!!

#shes to help me to get get use to like. going out w/o my mum and do things on my own #i wish i could just stay in my room and play sdv all day wahhhhh #buttt at least im going to the bookstore #thats why idont go outside but i need to because life but I DONT WANT TO!!!!!!!!!I HATE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 #social anxiety sucks !!!

[wander-over-the-words]

Things that I discovered about Free Ride mode that I actually love:

You can change the weather and the time of day!!

YOU CAN BE A TAXI DRIVER AGAIN

#wandering over the words #August plays games #Tommy sounds so sweet when you finish giving people lifts too #''No problem. Have a nice day!'' :'3c #I changed it to rain and then went around being a cabbie again so ngnrg #in universe it just made it look like Tommy was getting people out of the rain for free nrngn #(I haven't been able to play cause my aunt was staying w/ us and slept in the only room I can game in ngnrgn #wanted to play some Free Ride on 1 before going back to playing 2) #(I got all the secret cars too!! which is neat c:)

[doctorweebmd]

Honestly I am very good at being at home

#but I would be an awful stay at home spouse…. #I can’t cook cleaning is eh and im kinda lazy #I have absolutely no sense of internal motivation #born to be a rich kid locked in room playing video games all day #made to make a career and be a ‘productive member of society’ #…… I’m not even doing my hobbies right #I did replay dangenronpa 1 and 2… since I had them in my steam library and was bored #last played in 2017 #I will agree I find komaeda a lot more interesting this time around #…anyway #somebody help me without structure #in my day I literally fall apart #also you would think that at like… this age I would be more normal about being around other people #but I’m still avoiding going to things in person so I can avoid others because I’m so awkward #like… #how is this high school mentality still in my brain #anyway….. #thanks random tumble tag system for being my therapist

[a-heartshaped-object]

i’m finally back home

#ye olde text post #i really enjoyed my stay at the hospital. i feel like the therapy helped #but im glad to be back (i really missed my bed) #going back to regular life feels kinda weird tho #and not being around people all the time is also kinda strange #i mean i do have room mates but its not the same because 1. we're 4 instead of 25 and 2. people usually stay in the room the entire da #day* #ah well enough rambling #im happy to be back

[xstarkillerx]

again, sorry for being so slow to get to asks, editing this film is making me genuinely want to die, things keep going wrong and I want it out of my site

#I got an extension because i got locked out of my editing room due to a faulty fucking lock #and all my stuff was inside so i had to stay on campus overnight with nothing but my phone and fucking toiletries bag #i was locked out from 10:30pm to 1:30pm the next day and i was still expected to edit #the audio i got was shit because the sound department art fucking hacks and didn't mount the mic #our director is a misogynistic idiot who didn't bother to record room tone #my fucking ex somehow got involved with the production so i have to edit around his shit acting #our cinematographer keeps hounding me to submit it #to a fucking film festival because she shot it relatively decently #BUT EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT IT IS TRASH why would you want to show that publically? #which btw our idiot director thinks we got personally invited to show our film at a screening... it was a general email sent to the whole #student body and i had to spend 5 minutes explaining that to him #men keep giving me 'advice' which is literally common knowledge like keep your levels between -21 and -6dB #which is wrong by the way #and all of this is happening a week after one of the worst shoots of my life that went so astronomically bad me and the other producers #are now doing damage control and setting up a meeting with the director to explain that you can't treat people like shit on set you're not #stanley fucking kubric autour theory is over and we want money out of his pocket for how we were treated #oh yeah and my fucking sex addiction is acting up which is making it really fucking hard to get shit done

[nomaishuttle]

im blowing somebody up immediately

#ughhhhhh today is so slow. can my guests fucking leave !!!! #with 4 rooms and 1 deepclean i should get out at 11.45. but its 10.17 and ive only got one room done bc my other ones WONT LEAVE !!!!! #check8ut isnt until 11 and ine of them is a noon checkout 😐😐😐 #i hope the cunts just stay iver ughhh i sanna go home #i ws so excited t only have 4 today i was so excited to have a short day and get home an hour early #abd ik th short days r actually Not good at all. for my paycheck ATLEAST! Stares at my last check (261 or something for the entire 2 weeks) #but. consider: i want.to go.home #and i feel gross bc th stairwells r. idk theres something in the air theyre simultaneously likee. sohumid but also the air is so thin #so i just end up feeling gross u see #basically i wanna go.homeeee i wanna go.home and also i want my 2 weeks to be done already (i havent even put my 2 weeks in yet) #UGH. AND I NEED TO ASK FOR TH 20TH OFF bc my mom rescheduled my appt to then.. #i wish she had fone for likee. the 26th or somefing bc then i wouldnrt have work t worry abt anymore

[vakta]

spiders that always stay in one corner of the room my beloved <3

#spiders are cool #but i hate when they just disappear i mean when i see a spider and then next time its not there anymore #it freaks me out and thats why i usually want all spiders out of my room so that they dont disappear myseriously #but theres this spider in my room rn who has been staying in 1 corner for days now #its just chilling there #and i rly like the little guy we are friends #hopefully he wont betray me and disappear #oh the pronouns are rly all over the place here lmao i just never know what to use when talking abt an animal #but i dont think this spider has preferences so ig its ok

[urbanfiltered]

can’t breathe

#i am so fucking overwhelmed and depressed jesus!!!!!!!! #i feel like i’m unwraveling i feel like my parents sit at night and scheme to make sure i lose my grip on reality day by day #i can’t fucking breathe #it’s like the millisecond i get off work i do not have one single solitary second to myself #any moment not spent with my parents is such an ultimate sin #it’s making me sick #i feel like a parent in many ways #and my parents are the todflers and i spend all day just like #managing their emotions and planning play dates and playtime activities for them and putting on movies and shit #and i HAVE TO bc if they don’t get enough enrichment time they start getting restless and begin ripping into me instead #better to take my mother shopping for the fifth time this week instead of be her punching bag #im like crying in the bathroom as i type this im like not built to live like this #i lived on the floor of a 1 bedroom apt for 2 months with no privacy whatsoever and then i live here with my parents and #i just spent a whole week couch surfing on my various friends’ couches and it’s like #i just never get to be alone unless i stay up till 3 am which makes my next day so much worse and i just don’t think it’s #long term sustianable #might need to check myself into a psych ward or something #to sit in a solitary confinement room for a few days idk #i might genuinely die if i don’t #i can’t explain what i’m feeling but i think my actual body is breaking down #the sickest thing is all the weight i’ve gained in the past few motnhs making it harder on my body to just do things #like i’m never this heavy and i FEEL IT slowing me down #and my mom will yell at me till the cows come home about my eating habits but i can’t find time to go the gym if i’m constantly sitting #there with them participating in the 10th conversation of the day #i’m a wittle introvert baby i wasn’t meant to handle this #also if i try to leave the house alone they narrow their eyes because ‘going to the gym’ means i must be out there doing every drug #known to man or something #tbh in many ways moving away from each other was harder bc now when i’m around they pay unbearable amounts of attention to me #i can’t sleep anymore idk i wish i was dead a little bit