#sorry ive been listening to the same handful of bands for the past 15 years. i will continue to do so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vanityloves · 3 years

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anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime

piss

ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.

also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo

AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"

"man hands on misery to man, yknow"

THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.

oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.

oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.

the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become

getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"

maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy

MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD

a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols

black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.

became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort

heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based

hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable

he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?

international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?

MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)

alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"

'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'

he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk

he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'

help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"

alright, 1997,,,

2d stuff

loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles

both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac

[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]

SUMTHINK.

truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!

excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room

jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)

i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue

big tiddy nurse mommy,,,

went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??

oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕

messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king

MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP

oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd

but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love

ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh

"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok

jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.

how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.

2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"

"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH

RUSS TIME

oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??

AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.

"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?

"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"

'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.

murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?

"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-

HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.

ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺

HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.

idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"

DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭

went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?

was in a coma for 4 years?

hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.

his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it

PAULA.

HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤

yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure

why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch

also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?

HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD

sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD

MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*

NOODLE TIME

"small japanese person!"

2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!

im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'

noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY

JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA

2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".

THE RECORD LABEL GUY.

one song is all it took i ❤ good for them

just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.

A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK

ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.

MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'

but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"

HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude

nov 31 1998: started recording :]

40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit

KONG STUDIOS 🤲

hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu

webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit

noodle learning ab kong studios omfg

JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD

built in 1739?

the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'

theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE

the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire

murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.

grim weather

the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg

#rip lol i feel annoying but my blog my rights ig #brainworm ivy #gorillaz rambles

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years

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You’re my best friend; John Deacon x reader

*Author’s note*

Okay wow I can’t believe I almost missed this deadline but I had this story already up on my Wattpad for the past 2 months so I wanted to transfer it once this deadline came. This is for @writing-of-a-british-bitch‘s 1k challenge and I asked to do the “Your my best friend” song choice.

Now some things had transpired between joining this contest and the time I decided to write it and I really needed to get this pain out. As some of you may know from a post over 2 months ago, I lost my baby black kitty Sassy to Kidney failure. And I realize this was meant to be a fluff fic but I couldn’t help but really write this fic in memory of my baby girl. So some fluff and angst but sadly mostly angst is in this fic. So I apologize if I kinda went back on my word Phoebe but I hope this is still okay for your contest.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@queendeakyy

@simonedk

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@kairosfreddie

@dancingcoolcat

@geek-and-proud

____________________________________________________________

Kidney Failure. Those are two words that no pet owner wants to hear. My beautiful baby girl Sassy had officially been diagnosed with Kidney failure as well as Kidney stones. At first with her not eating I thought she was just being a little stubborn, then after doing some scary research on why senior cats won't eat, it showed signs of her dying. Then after seeing her cough up some blood early one morning before I wanted to go see a movie, I was told by my parents to take her straight to the vet.

And since I was dealing with this all alone, I was forced to be told by myself and suffer for a full day of the news of my precious black kitty. I had gotten her 15 years ago shortly after my first cat Missy died. She was rescued by an independent rescue woman who had a house full of cats, out of thousands of cats she had, a small, tiny and very skittish kitten stood out of all the rest. Even though at the time my mom wanted a white cat with blue eyes and pink ears, we fell in love with this cute little girl, and I named her Sassy after the cat from Homeward Bound.

For years she was always the skittish girl. Anytime a doorbell would ring, she'd rush out and hide all day. But she was the sweetest cat anyone could ask for. I would always bring her up into my room whenever things got too stressful in my life, or I just wanted to be with her. I'd put her on my bed and just let her sleep there for all hours of the day.

As time went on, she even came to my own rescue like when I got my wisdom teeth removed and I had to recover up in my room. The first night, Sassy had actually came up into my room willingly, hopped right on my bed and slept right beside me for about 3 hours. She's my baby and now she's suffering the same fate my male cat did just several years ago.

My girl's always been the one with health problems throughout her life. First it was the UTI's, then bladder stones, and now she has to take some pills for her thyroid for the rest of her life (she's been on the thyroid pills for roughly about 3 years now), but this—this just blows everything out the window cause now it's evident that she's possibly coming close to the end of her days.

The vet told me what all needed to happen, a couple days of IV to get her fully hydrated, some anti-biotics, and just keeping her as comfortable as possible. So she went through the two days of IV, she's currently on the antibiotic and just has 3 more days to take it while still taking her thyroid pills (I now had to resort to giving it to her liquidly through a syringe since she no longer does the pill pockets anymore).

I don't wanna lose my baby girl. She's my life, my baby, my best friend and I—I don't know what I'm gonna do when the time comes for her when she finally.....

"(Y/n)?" I looked up and there was my dad.

"Hey dad."

"Sweetie, how are you doing? Really?" he said as he came into my room and sat down by my bed.

"I—I'm scared dad. I don't wanna lose my girl. On top with all the stress of trying to find a job, I just can't even focus on anything else but my baby girl."

"I know, I know sweetie." He brought me closer for a hug and I allowed the tears to softly fall down my face. "Maybe—you should get out of the house. Go see those friends of yours, isn't that offer for you to join them at the farm still available?"

"But dad I don't wanna leave Sassy behind. What if she dies while I'm away? That's already what happened to both Hudson and Missy because of school. And I promised that if it ever came Sassy's time I wouldn't allow anything to keep me away from her."

"But if you just solely keep focused on her, you're only gonna make yourself sick. What you need now is time to yourself, spend it with your friends, maybe they can help you out. Maybe even John can help you see. Cause at this rate I feel like you'll only listen to that boyfriend of yours." I softly chuckled as he did to.

"I think I'll just surprise them. They always drop by unannounced at my place either way." He chuckled and said.

"Whatever you want to do. I will watch Sassy for you and make sure she's comfortable. And I promise you if anything does happen, I'll give you a call."

"Thanks dad. I'm glad you came back early."

"Of course. Sassy's important to all of us." I nodded. "You get some sleep now okay sweetie, you've got a long drive ahead of you." I nodded again as my dad kissed the top of my head and gave me a big bear hug.

Once he left my room after shutting my door, I lay there on my bed and allowed the tears to continue to fall as I silently cried myself to sleep.

A few hours later I was on the open road heading towards Rockfield farm where my friends and boyfriend John Deacon. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, John Deacon of Queen is my long time boyfriend. We got together roughly at around Year 10 of secondary school, and even though we ended up going to different colleges, we still kept close to each other with visits and holiday stuff.

In fact, I was the one who convinced him to try out for Queen since I had Freddie Mercury in an art class of mine. And he just decided to take me in as his best friend since we both loved cats (the first time I showed him a picture of my two furbabies he was hooked and wanted to know everything about them).

So I introduced John to the band when Fred told me they needed a new bassist, he auditioned and—the rest was history. As mentioned earlier they were currently at Rockfield farm studios recording their next album 'A Night at the Opera'. Deacy had offered the chance for me to tag along as moral support/citizen critic but when I told him that I was worried about Sassy, he understood but kept the offer open in case I changed my mind.

After what felt like an eternity of driving I finally arrived at the farm just a little bit after 10:30am. I parked the car right next to a blue beetle and got out of my car after shutting off the engine. I looked around the place and saw that it was definitely far out of civilization and distractions, maybe this could be what I needed.

"(Y/n)?" I heard a voice say. I turned around and wearing a pink woman's top and white pants holding a cigarette between his fingers was none other than Freddie Mercury.

"Hey Fred."

"Oh darling it's been so long come here!" I walked over to him as he tossed the cigarette aside into the gravel and extended his arms out. I was then given the biggest bear hug that Freddie is known to give. "Why didn't you tell us we were coming?"

"Figured I surprise you all. You're not pissed are you?"

"Absolutely not dear, a visit from you is like seeing an angel grace our presence. And maybe this time Deacy can pick up the slack." I softly giggled as we separated from each other. "So how are things at home? Deacy said poor Sassy was feeling under the weather, how is the little dear?" at that point I grew sad again. "(Y/n)? Dear was it something I said?"

"Freddie I—the reason I came here was because of Sassy. She's—not doing so good." At that point his face grew worried.

"Come darling, let's sit on the porch swing and talk. You look like you're about to burst into tears." He wrapped an arm around me as we walked towards the front porch of the house and sat down on the cushioned porch swing. Freddie sat to my left and said, "Now then darling, tell me everything." I took a deep breath and proceeded to tell him.

"Last Sunday Mary and I were planning on going to see a movie, but as I was getting around I had seen Sassy laying near where she had just spit up, but what scared me was that there was blood mixed with the phlegm that she had puked up. So I called Mary and told her I had to take her to the vet, they ran some tests on her and......" I sniffled and felt the tears starting to come back. "Freddie she's suffering from kidney failure." He gasped in horror as he covered his mouth with his hand.

"Oh my god......(y/n) I—I'm so sorry dear. Oh come here you." He brought me close into his chest and tears once again began to fall down my face. "Oh my poor dear, I can't imagine what you must be feeling. If it were one of my darlings, I'd be feeling just as heartbroken as you. How—how long has she got?"

"Well thankfully the doctor said if we just keep an eye on her. Cause she's still drinking water, going to the bathroom, and eating when she wants to she could live a little while longer. But Freddie—she's 6lbs now and every time you hold her—you can just feel her bones. It's like picking up a stuffed animal at this point."

"Oh the poor little darling. Does she still walk?"

"Yeah she can still walk, but she—she drags her back legs or stumbles around before just giving up. We're trying to keep her on the main level of our house trying to limit the amount of times of her going either up or down the stairs. Sometimes she'll eat twice a day, sometimes it'll take her well over 24 hours before she eats again."

"Okay. So what all have you done for her?"

"Well she had to do 2 days of IV to get her rehydrated. Now she's on an antibiotic for the next ten days, she'll be done with it in three days so my dad's gonna finish it all off. He said I needed a break from all the stress cause along with her being sick and me struggling to find a job, I've barely been able to keep myself together."

"Your dad's a smart man. Cause dear no offense but you really look like shit."

"Gee thanks Freddie." I sassed back sarcastically.

"Now, now I don't mean any offense by it. I'm just—"

"I know what you mean Fred. Its just—I don't wanna lose my baby girl. I know she's getting older hell she's 16 years old. But I—I don't wanna lose my baby just yet. Not when my life is fully about to begin."

"I know darling, I know." He comforted me as he rubbed my back. I felt him kiss the crown of my head. "Listen to me, okay? You gave that beautiful black cat the best 16 years of her life. And who knows maybe she'll tough it out and stick with you for another 3 years. She knows you love her, and knows that you are doing everything to take care of her."

"You truly are the cat guru Freddie."

"Well comes with experience. But I've seen for myself the love you've given that precious thing. And, god forbid, when the day does come for her to move on, she'll have you to thank for being the best mummy cat she's ever had. And loved her even with her being the skittish thing that she was. Cause other than you, I would've been the only one to see the potential in her."

"Yeah she was a precious thing when I saw her and briefly got to play with her when she was just a kitten." Freddie wiped my tears away with the sleeve of his shirt and he asked me.

"Feeling any better?"

"A little. Thanks Freddie. It takes a cat parent to understand just what I'm going through."

"I'm always here for you dear. And hey, just so you know, my furbabies are your furbabies. They love you just as much as your own do, so anytime you need to come over, they'll be happy to see you."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Shall I get Deacy?"

"Actually I would like to come in, I've been driving since 1am this morning and I could really use a bed right now."

"Or is it just so you and Deacy can—"

"Get your mind out of the gutter you rotter!" he chuckled and said.

"Of course dear, come in come in I'll grab your bags." I went to protest but he stopped me, "No darling I will not take no for an answer." He grabbed my suitcases and we entered inside the house.

It was a charming little house of sorts with old knick-knacks, pictures whether painted or old photographs, and completely wooded interior. Kinda reminded me of my grandparent's place a little bit, a true country home.

"My darlings, we've got a surprise visitor with us to—" Freddie announced as we came into the kitchen. "Oh fuck seriously Roger? I thought I heard a crash but never did I think you'd go that far."

"What else do you expect Fred? Brian said my song wasn't strong enough so I figured I'd show him if this was strong enough!!"

"Perhaps I shouldn't have come after all." I made myself known. At that point Deacy popped right out of his seat and rushed right over towards me and embraced me. I hugged him back and buried my face into his neck. God every time I got a hug from the love of my life, I was already happy and at home with him.

"Why didn't you call and tell me you were coming?"

"And miss the surprise look on your face? I don't think so." He chuckled before separating from me to cup the side of my face. I felt his calloused thumb stroke my cheek gingerly and he placed a soft kiss to my brow.

"Ugh it's too early for you guys to act all lovie-dovie!" Roger complained.

"Oh put a sock in it Rog!" I sassed at him.

"It really is good to see you here (y/n). so what brought on this surprise visit?" asked Brian. My smile dropped and I solemnly looked down.

"My love?" Deacy asked concerned.

"Deacy dear why don't you take (y/n) downstairs to your room and get her situated. She could really use some sleep right now, then come back up and I'll explain everything." Freddie set my stuff down and went up to Brian and Roger and wrapped his arms around their shoulders to guide them out of the kitchen.

"What's he talking about love?"

"It's—the reason why I'm here isn't a happy reason. I wish it was but I—"

"Okay, okay, okay relax. Calm down my love. Come on let's go downstairs, though I must warn you the room isn't very big."

"I'll take whatever it is Johnny." He grabbed my suitcases as wrapped an arm around me as he guided me towards the basement stairs.

And boy was he ever right. How could my beloved possible sleep in a room this cramped, not to mention cold? He set my stuff right by his before guiding me to the bed. He sat down close to me and said.

"Do you want to tell me? Or should I go up to see Freddie?"

"I—I can tell you."

"You sure?" I nodded. "Alright, if you say so. But before you speak, take a couple of deep breaths with me, okay?" he slowly breathed in and I followed behind him. We held our breath for three seconds before slowly exhaling out for five. We did this together over and over and over again till finally I was ready to tell him, and I told him everything in regard to Sassy.

As I explained everything, every now and then I would stop because I could feel tears springing in my eyes. Jesus just when I thought I had cried my last tear, they still keep coming. But my sweet, loving John had tissues at the ready and he would hand me one to wipe my face, before sitting himself even closer to me resting his head on top of mine while his arms were wrapped around me rubbing either my back or arms comfortingly.

"Oh my love. You should've called me as soon as you were told the news. You know I would've dropped everything just to be with you, to comfort you through this." He said once I had finished telling him everything.

"I didn't want to disturb you John. This album is really important to Queen and I—didn't want to distract you."

"Fuck the album, you're my first priority."

"John."

"I mean it (y/n). if you ever asked me to leave the band I will."

"You know I would never ask that of you."

"I know, I'm just saying I would. I just—I just hate the fact that I had to let you get the news alone. I knew your dad left to spend time with your mum for their anniversary together which left you to take care of Sassy and Phoebe, and to get such news all on your own." He kissed my cheek and softly stroked my cheek.

"Why are you so good to me?"

"Your my best friend, (y/n). I'll always be good to you." He leaned in and captured my lips in a soft kiss. I cupped the side of his face before separating from him and pressing my forehead to his while I felt his nose graze against mine.

I then wrapped my arms around his neck while I felt his arms wrap around my waist. He pulled me close to him so that I practically sitting on his lap. I felt his hand rub comforting circles on my back before slowly leaning back. The slightly rickety bed creaked and it was definitely a tight squeeze, but we somehow made it work with me practically lying on top of him, our legs tangled up with each other's and my head resting against his chest.

"God how did you manage to sleep on this tiny bed?" I asked.

"Trust me it's not easy. But somehow I've managed."

"The boys didn't boot you down here did they?"

"No, Paul actually gave me this room. Said that small ones don't get nearly as cold."

"Aww Deacy I'm so sorry." I cupped his jawline to which he nuzzled against my hand and gave my palm a kiss.

"Not your fault. But how are you, really (y/n)."

"Truthfully my head is literally killing me."

"Probably from dehydration from all the crying you must've been doing." He said as I felt him stroke down my hair. He kissed my forehead and set me down on the bed. "I'll get you some water and snacks for you. Gotta get you rehydrated and eating again." He pecked my nose and I smiled at him.

"Thank you Johnny."

"Anytime my love. Stay here, I'll be right back." He brushed the hair out of my face before giving me a soft peck before heading upstairs. I sighed and rested my head onto the pillows and inhaled John's scent from his shampoo that I had bought for him. It gave me a sense of comfort even while he was gone for a brief moment.

He came back down with a bottle of water and a couple bags of crisps.

"You really went all out didn't you?" I teased.

"Well if I know you, I know that when you get really sad, you tend to skip meals. And I know this isn't really the best thing for you to eat right now, but it's all we've got since Roger knocked down the leftovers bitching about his car song."

"His car song?"

"It's better if you don't ask." He sat down on the floor beside me and laid out the bags of crisps then unscrewed the bottle cap of water before placing the straw in. He held it out to me and I took a sip of it. After taking a long drink, he set it down on the nightstand right beside the bed and opened up one of the bags of crisps and proceeded to feed me.

"I can feed myself you know."

"I know, but you've been under a lot of pressure lately. With the unsuccessful job hunts as well as Sassy being sick, the least I can do is pamper you my darling. Now c'mon open up." He guided a potato crisp towards my mouth and I opened my mouth as he popped it inside my mouth.

Deacy kept on feeding me as well as giving me sips of water. Finally after feeling full from the crisps, he set them aside and crawled back into the bed with me.

"Wait, don't you have some recording to do?"

"I talked to the guys about it, I'm gonna stay here and take care of my baby today."

"No Deacy I—I'll just delay your schedule......"

"It's already said and done love, besides Freddie insisted that I stay with you. I can make up my bits tomorrow." I looked up at him and said.

"Thank you Deacy, it—this means a lot. Really, with Sassy being—"

"Shhhh, shhh. Just sleep my love. You really need it." He whispered as he gingerly stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers. I closed my eyes and cuddled close to him, his hand tucked underneath my shirt and I felt his nails gently stroke up and down my back comfortingly. The mixture of his scent, his breathing and his heartbeat was like a lullaby that soothed me to sleep.

A week later, I was starting to feel a bit better than I had back at home. Deacy and the boys provided the perfect distraction, Freddie gave me a mini piano lesson as he was practicing his latest masterpiece that he deemed was going to change music forever, Brian and I would take pictures of the guys whether for his scrapbooking or just out of plain goofiness, and Roger—well Roger spent three days in a cupboard but at least he was still willing to talk to me even through the cupboard.

And of course Deacy was an angel with the warm cuddles and bass playing. I've always found comfort in seeing him play the bass, he was in his element and it was amazing to see him break out of the shy exterior and just be him. I was laying on the couch in the studio and he was fiddling around with his bass.

"Can you play me something?" I asked. He looked up and he asked.

"What would you like me to play? Liar? White Queen?"

"Do you think you can give me a sneak peek at a song from this album?"

"Well legally I'm not allowed to but....off the record if there were no Prenter nor sound engineer to be around." He stated as he got up and went over to the sound station and flipped a couple of switches.

"You clever, devious man." I giggled.

"That's why you love me. C'mere." I got up from the couch and went up to the chair he was now sitting at. He extended his hand as I got closer to him and I took his hand. He then had me sit down on his lap and I felt his arm wrap around my waist. "This was finished the night before you came to the farm. I.....I had you in mind when I was writing it."

"Oh god Deacy please tell me it's nothing like Misfire was."

"No not this time. I promise, and in a way....you can think of this song as yours and Sassy's song." He turned on the switch and soon playing through the speakers was an electric sounding instrument. "That's me on the electric piano."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Fred wanted absolutely no part of it so I sat down all night learning how to play it so that I could have it ready for recording." I awed at him and he gave me a peck to my temple and I soon heard the magnificent vocalizations of all four of my boys singing at once, their voices backtracked by their own voices making it sound like there was an entire choir backing them up. Freddie's god-like voice singing the gentle melody of the words.

"What's it called?"

"You're my best friend." He lay my head on his shoulder and the two of us listened to the song together. I'll admit the lyrics did fit Sassy to a T. She has been there for me before in the past and she was always the one I turned to when things got rough and no one else was there for me.

When the song finally ended, I turned to John and hugged him, my arms wrapped around his neck.

"That is literally the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me. Thank you John."

"I'm glad you liked it love."

"Like? Deacy 'like' doesn't even begin to describe what this song meant to me. You and Sassy are both my best friends."

"And I'm happy to share you, even if it is with a feline." I giggled and playfully nudged his shoulder which made him chuckle. "God I've really missed seeing you smile."

"What are you talking about? I've been smiling the whole time I was here."

"Oh you mean the ones that don't reach up to your eyes, the smiles that don't make your eyes twinkle and a laugh come out of that beautiful mouth of yours. Yeah those were real smiles." He sassed sarcastically.

"Okay smartass. Maybe I've—still been depressed about not being with my girl."

"And there's nothing wrong with missing her. But you also need to learn to take care of yourself as well. You looked absolutely exhausted when you first arrived, it was like you'd hardly slept a wink." I looked down shamefully. "I just want you to realize that in order for you to be there for Sassy, you also need to learn to take care of yourself. Do you understand what I'm trying to say my love?"

"Yes Deacy, I understand. I'm sorry."

"Hey, you've got no reason to be sorry. You caring about Sassy this much proves that you're a good cat mum. And maybe in the future, you'll be the same way with our own child." I smiled through a choked sob. I buried my face into John's neck as I felt his hand go underneath my shirt and once again stroking my bare skin sending comforting shivers up my back.

"I love you so much John Deacon."

"I love you so much too (y/n) (l/n)." I looked up at him and he smiled down at me softly and kissed the center of my forehead, the tip of my nose, both cheeks then finally a soft and loving kiss to my lips. "Besides, I always knew one surefire way to get that beautiful smile on your face." Oh shit.

I immediately got off his lap and went back to the couch and held the pillow out in front of me.

"Why ever did you flee from me my love?" he asked in a mocked hurt tone.

"Not another step Deacon. I know what your method is and you're not doing it."

"Whatever do you mean?" oh that little rotter he was taunting me.

"Don't make me say it Deacy!" I begged as I buried my body into the covers leaving only my head to the outside world.

"Well you're gonna have to cause all I'm doing is walking towards you and all you're doing is trying to hide yourself under the blankets and pillows." He continued to taunt as he now hovered over me, his body pinning mine to the couch.

"Deacy no!" I whined.

"No what?"

"Deacy!"

"You're gonna have to specify what I can't do my darling." He cupped the side of my face after tucking some hair behind my ear and captured my lips in a seductive kiss. He almost had me under his spell, that was until I felt him squeeze my sides through the blanket. I squealed and tried to buck him off me but he stayed on top of me. "My, my, my, what have we here?"

"John I swear to god I'll kill you if you do it."

"Do what? All I did was just graze your sides and you just reacted to it. Now what do they call that thing again when people get so sensitive to a light touch?" he pondered.

My god this little shit was good. He was trying to force me to say it.

"John please!" I begged to him with the best puppy dog eyes I could muster.

"Aww look at you pleading and begging with those eyes, it's so adorable. But it won't stop me. Now answer my question." I felt him squeeze my sides again and I let out a soft shrieked laugh. "God if I didn't know any better I'd say you didn't want me to......"

"Tickle me!" I blurted out.

"What a wonderful idea! You always were terribly ticklish." I then pushed him off of me and decked out of the recording studio and began racing around the barn.

I went inside the barn and tried to duck through or go around any beams I could find.

"You're not going to escape from me (n/n). You know you were always the slowest runner."

"Shut up Deacon! It's cause you always cheated with those long legs of yours!" I snapped as I ducked through the hay storage bin before getting out on the other side.

Deacy continued to chase after me for what felt like forever. And I don't know when they became involved or why they chose to do it, but somehow Roger and Freddie got involved with the chase and I was soon tackled out in the field by Roger and he was the first to start tickling me before Freddie then finally my boyfriend Deacy joined in the attack.

The three of them tickling me non-stop till I was red in the face and could barely breathe. Fred and Rog would've gone on forever had John not stopped them and forced them to let me breathe. Once I was able to catch my breath, I turned towards the two troublemakers and said.

"Where.....in the hell.....did you two.....come from?"

"From London." Freddie bluntly shrugged.

"I know that smartass. I meant during the chase." I groaned.

"Oh that well when we saw Deacy chasing you, Fred and I just want in on the action. It didn't matter what we had to do, just as long as it got you to smile kid." Roger said as he gave my hair a ruffle, messing it up.

"Roger! Rog you're messing up my hair!" I said as I tried to get his hand off my head but he would keep putting it back on top and messing my hair up even further.

"But you've got to admit darling, we did get you to smile that fabulous smile that can only be compared to Mary's." said Freddie as he wrapped an arm around me. "Plus didn't that help you just a little bit?"

"Yeah I guess so. Thanks guys, for real this week has—literally been a life saver. I think I'm ready to head back home tomorrow."

"What so soon? But darling we were just having so much fun!" whined Freddie as he brought me close to his chest.

"Plus you help lessen the stress that Prenter causes us." Said Rog.

"And the stress we cause each other. You sure you can't stay a bit longer?"

"Sorry Deacy, I gotta get back to my girl." He rubbed my back and said.

"Okay. Just—promise to call me in case anything happens. You know I'll gladly drop things here to be with you." I cupped the side of his face and stared at him lovingly.

"I'll even allow us to take time off the album so that all of us can be there for you darling." Fred said I turned towards him and Roger and saw that Roger nodded agreeing with both Fred and Deacy.

"You guys—how did I ever get lucky to have such good friends like you all?"

"You've honestly been a blessing to us dear. Never doubt that." Soon I was in a group hug with the front man, the drummer and the bassist of Queen.

The next morning I was all packed up and was hugging the guys goodbye and thanking them for helping me out this past week. I had just gotten done hugging Rog and Bri and I was now at Freddie. He smiled at me and embraced me tightly and he said in my ear.

"You be sure to call us with any updates Sassy's got."

"I will I promise." He separated from me and kissed both my cheeks.

"Drive safe (y/n) dear."

"Will do Fred." I then turned towards the love of my life, my best friend. He held his arms out and I immediately went into them and hugged him back.

"I'm so glad that you came to visit love. Drive safely back home, and call me whenever you get there."

"I will, promise me you'll continue to work hard on the album."

"Will do love." He kissed me but it was shortly interrupted by Prenter exclaiming.

"Enough of this already the boys need to get back to work!"

"Alright Prenter that's it come here!" Roger then charged after Prenter which made John and I laugh softly.

"Should we try to stop him?" I asked.

"Nah, let him take his prey. Besides he deserves it, Prenter's an arsehole anyway." He kissed my temple softly before hugging me one last time. I got into my car and waved goodbye to the guys one last time before taking off back down towards the main road.

Three days later after returning from the farm, I was back at home just waking up for the day. I once again saw Sassy lying there on the couch just like she was last night. I sighed and went up to Sassy and pet her and she shot her head up and looked at me.

"Hey baby girl, ready for your medicine?" she just looked at me before laying her head down. I went over to the sink and prepped the water bottle cap (at this point she had stopped taking the pill pockets, and since I could no longer force it down her, I resorted to liquidating the ¼ pill).

After waiting a couple of minutes I sucked the water into a syringe and walked back over to the couch. Gently as I could, I picked her up and she let out a weak meow.

"I know baby, I know. But this is just the water one this time. You got done with the antibiotic awhile ago." I placed the syringe into her mouth and she weakly opened her mouth but was still able to take in the water. Once she took it all in, I kissed her and took her over to the water bowl cause I knew she probably drink any water since last night. "Here we go baby, drink up."

I gently set her down and she merely just lay there for a moment before realizing where she was. Her head shot up and she reached her paw over the water bowl like how she normally drinks and went face first into the water, her usual way of drinking water.

Once she had her fill after lying down a few times before going back up again to drink some more. I picked her up once more and set her back down on the couch. Since it was a sunny day for the first time in a while, I decided to let my girl sunbathe, her favorite thing to do whenever the sun was out.

"Here you go little mama." I cooed as I stroked her head and kissed it. I then went back upstairs and got ready for the day. The phone rang and I picked it up and answered, "Hello?"

'Hey sweetie. Whatcha doin?' it was my dad's voice.

"Oh just—getting around and all that."

'Ahh I see. How's our girl doing?'

"She's....hanging in there." I looked towards her to see her still breathing.

'Okay good, good. So what have you got on the agenda for today?'

"Well Mikaela is coming to pick me up and we're gonna hang out for my graduation/pre b-day plans."

'Ahh I see, what time is she coming over?'

"About 10ish."

'Okay well you girls have fun and I will talk at you later okay?'

"Okay daddy, love you."

'Love you too sweetie, bye.'

"Bye." I hung up the phone and turned back towards my baby. I walked up to her and as I touched her, her paws twitched and she turned and looked up at me. "I love you so much baby girl." I kissed her head and she turned away from me. With a heavy sigh, I walked back upstairs and got around.

A couple minutes later at 10:07am I walked back downstairs to see Phoebe sitting up on the table looking at Sassy's food bowl that was there.

"Phoebe get down!" I snapped at her. She meowed as she hopped down and ran off. That's when I looked down to see the most horrifying sight I would ever see in my life.

Sassy's eyes were glazed over, and I couldn't see her breathing anymore.

"Sassy? Sassy? Sassy!" I touched her fur hoping to see her react but when he jaw went slacked, tears sprung in my eyes and I fell to my knees. I picked her up in my arms and held her close to me as I sobbed. "Sassy! No! No! No! Sassy please no!" I sobbed as I paced around the room hoping that she would wake up but all she did was lay limp against my shoulder. I placed her down on the loveseat to see if she would breathe again but she didn't.

Sassy was gone.

I ran up to the phone and dialed my dad's number and pleaded softly that he would pick up.

'Hello?' he asked.

"Daddy."

'Yeah?' his voice sounded concerned as soon as he heard the heartbreak in my voice.

"I think Sassy's dead!" I sobbed out.

'Oh my god our cat just died.'

"She was fine earlier as I said. She drank some water but when I came back downstairs I noticed that she's no longer breathing, her eyes are glazed over and she's just limp every time I hold her!"

'Okay, okay (y/n) calm down okay sweetie. Calm down. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to get her cat carrier and a towel.'

"Okay."

'Okay? Then put the towel in the cat carrier and then I want you to gently put her in and take her to the vet, okay? They'll work out the cremation process.'

"Okay."

'And sweetie listen to me. At least she died at home, okay? She passed away peacefully, safe and at home instead of a cold, strange metal table. Because I had to go through that with Hudson and it was not a pretty sight. It broke me, but you gave Sassy a happy life and even with you taking care of her on your own for a while she knew you loved her.' I choked out a sob and nodded.

"I know."

'Okay but go take her to the vet, I'll call your mom and she'll get in touch with the vet.' I nodded.

"Okay I'll take her to the vet."

'Okay now your mom will be available all day for you if you need to get in touch with her. I've got a meeting to get to in the next while. But call your mom anytime you need to talk.'

"Okay."

'Okay I love you sweetheart, it's gonna be okay. At least she's not suffering anymore and that she's now at peace.'

"Yeah."

'Alright sweetie, I love you so much.'

"I love you too."

'Bye.'

"Bye." I hung up the phone and proceeded to get her ready to take her to the vet one last time. I grabbed a towel from my bathroom and tucked it in her cat carrier. I looked down at my baby with tears pouring down my face. Once I got her in the cat carrier on her side, I quickly wrote a note for Mikaela and taped it to the door before finally rushing out to my car and race towards the vet.

When I got there, I stood there waiting for what felt like forever in the small vet clinic till finally one of the vet techs came in. She walked over to me, empathy in her eyes and she said.

"Your mum called and told us what happened. We'll get started with the cremation process, are there any questions you have for us?"

"Just.....just make sure that this is for real. I—don't wanna try anything unless I know it's for real."

"Okay." She took my cat carrier and walked into the back room. I sat down by the window trying to calm myself down. The doors opened and there stood my best friend Mikaela.

"Hey I got your message, are you okay?"

"I don't know dude. Thank god you're here though."

"Of course, of course." She sat down beside me and wrapped an arm around me. It was then the vet came in from the back room and he greeted me.

"She has passed away. Along with the kidney stones and failure, she also suffered a stroke." I covered my mouth with my hand and allowed the tears to pour down my face even more. "We can prep the cremation. Would you like the pawprint as well as her ashes or just the pawprint?"

"Just the pawprint." I replied.

"Okay, before we take her away would you like to see her?" I turned to Mikaela before turning back to the vet and said.

"Yes."

"Okay. Come back with me." I followed behind him and Mikaela told me she'd wait outside. I went through the back door and right there on the table I saw my baby girl lying right on her stomach, her front paws extended outwards and her eyes still glassed over, her fangs exposed as her jaw was still slightly lacked.

"Take all the time you need." the vet told me as one of the technicians came and covered up just her lower body. I nodded before leaning down and pet her one last time, trying to imprint her soft fur into my hand, and my memory.

"At least she died at home, where she was most happiest." Said one of the female vet technicians.

"Yeah. She—she was sunbathing on the couch. She always loved it when the sun was out and I would open up the blinds."

"Yeah. I'll bet she really appreciated it."

"It just—with all the health problems she's had throughout her life I just hoped that....."

"I understand. Especially with all that she had been through for the past week." I nodded before turning back to my baby girl. I knelt down and gave her one final kiss before finally saying.

"Okay. Okay I—I think I'm ready." Then another vet tech came up and fully covered up my baby girl forever, the final step in pronouncing her dead.

"We'll get in contact with your mom about the billing. Again we're so sorry for your loss." The same vet tech that I was talking to earlier about my baby girl.

"Thank you." I said thanks the vet techs as well as the vet for all that they've done for Sassy for her last 2 weeks of life. I walked out of the back room and Mikaela came up and hugged me as we left the vet.

When I got back home I called my mom and told her that she could take care of the billing. After that I said.

"I'm sorry about all this dude I know we had plans and all but—"

"No, no, no, no it's fine. Do—you wanna call John and tell him? Or do you want me to talk for you?"

"I think I can tell him. He loved Sassy as much as I did." I picked the phone up once more and dialed the number for the farm that Deacy gave me before they left. It rang about five times before I heard a voice say.

'Hello?' Oh god why did it have to be him?

"Paul. Can I speak to John please?"

'Oh (y/n) I'm afraid he's too busy to talk right now. Since you distracted the guys they're way behind schedule with the album. They have to work twice as long just to meet the upcoming deadline.'

'Oi Prenter why are you answering the phone!? Thought I told you that you weren't allowed to take calls anymore!' Roger's loud voice proclaimed. I then heard the signs of a struggle and Paul's painful cry as Roger's voice spoke up. 'Talk to me.'

"Rog."

'(Y/n), hey what's going on?'

"Is Deacy too busy to talk?"

'Oh absolutely not, hang on a second love okay? OI DEACY!!! YOUR GIRL'S ON THE LINE COME OVER HERE!' Once again there was silence before I heard John's voice at last.

'(Y/n)? What's going on love is everything okay?' my lip quivered as I gasped out a sob. '(Y/n)? Love you're scaring me.'

"She's gone Deacy." I choked out.

'Oh my god. (N/n) I—I'm so sorry. Was she—'

"On the couch in the sun. It was almost an hour ago."

'Jesus Christ. But (y/n) you were there for her like you always said you wanted to be, and she's no longer in any pain, she's at peace. And she's up in heaven with her brother and meeting her older sister. The cat you had before you got her.'

"I know. I'm—I'm sorry I'm distracting you—"

'No, no, no, no, no, no love shhh, shhh, shshshsh. You are by no means a distraction. I'm glad you called me (y/n). I wish I could be there with you right now holding you in my arms.'

"I want that too Deacy."

'Are you going to get the pawprint?'

"Yeah, it should be ready in a day or two."

'That's good. I love you so much my brave mama cat, you know that right?'

"I love you too. I just—wish you were here John."

'I know. I wish I was there too. Is anyone with you right now?'

"Mikaela is, and I—think I'm gonna call Mary."

'That's good. Surround yourself with those two right now since they know what's happening. Do whatever you feel like you need to do right now okay?'

"I will. I do know I wanna get out of the house. I can't...I just can't be in here."

'Okay then do that. Go to Biba, the record store, see a movie, whatever. Hey, it's gonna be okay, alright?'

"Okay. I just—I miss her so much Deacy."

'I know love, I know. I miss her too. Hey listen, I gotta go, the guys are looking at me wanting to know what's going on.'

"I'll let you go then. I maybe out the whole day but I'll give you a call later tonight, okay?"

'Okay my love. I'll talk to you soon. Call me anytime.'

"I will, bye Deacy."

'Bye my love.' I hung up the phone and took a deep breath.

"You sure you wanna get out of the house? It's cool if you just wanna stay here."

"No Mikaela I just—I really can't be in this house anymore. I need to get away from here for a while."

"Okay, okay. But let's get you calm down first before we head on out, okay? I'll talk to Mary this time and you just sit down and drink some water." I nodded and walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle before sitting down at the kitchen table while Mikaela made the call to Mary and explained everything.

A little while later Mikaela told me that Mary is willing to meet us at the movies since we were planning on seeing that new shark movie that was out now. After recomposing myself and drying my eyes up to show no signs that I had been crying, Mikaela and I stepped out and drove on to meet Mary at the movie theater.

The whole day was spent having a girl's day out. Mary paid for our movie tickets (we chose a later showing than originally planned due to all of this), and then Mikaela paid for our lunch. When it got close to our movie time, we all drove back to the theater (thank god it was literally just across the street) and we got our seats.

For the next 2 hours the film JAWS both terrified and had me at the edge of my seat. By the end of the film when Chief Brody shot the shark, the entire audience actually applauded. After the film, we spent the rest of the afternoon doing a little shopping to help cheer me up until it got dark and I knew I had to get back in order to feed Phoebe.

Mikaela and Mary both came back to the house with me to bid me a final goodbye and to give their final condolences on my loss today. They told me that if I ever needed to talk about today or vent, cry or hang out I could always call them. I thanked them before finally entering back inside the house.

When I got inside, the first things I had noticed was that my hall lights were on and Phoebe was currently eating at her food bowl. At that point my heart started racing a bit because my dad was still at work by now since he had requested some overtime so I know that he'd usually would be on his way home but not here, here. I then heard footsteps coming down the stairs and that's when I was shocked to see Deacy coming down the stairs.

"I thought that might've been you. Had it been your dad it would've been awkward."

"Wha—but.....how are you....."

"Before you ask any questions, how are you feeling? Truthfully?" I looked down and sniffled.

"Heartbroken. I miss her Deacy! I miss my baby so much!"

"I know, I know sweetheart. I do too." He said as he immediately embraced me and rocked me back and forth. "Sassy will forever live in your heart and in your memories, you gave her a good life till the end. And she at least passed away in a peaceful, safe environment. She knew you were there and that you took care of her right to the end."

"It all just happened so fast I mean—she was diagnosed with kidney failure just short of 2 weeks and now she—"

"Shhhh, shh I know. I know. But there was nothing you could do love, there was nothing anyone could've done. She—she was an old cat and.....it was just meant to be her time now. You wouldn't want her to keep suffering would you?"

"Never."

"Exactly, no one does. I know it's selfish but she at least died here at home. And she'll be right there with you."

"I just wish she could've stuck around longer, till I at least found a job. It's stressing enough getting no responses cause of my lack of job experiences now I just....."

"I know love. I know. But you know you've got me right? I can be your stress reliever now, hmm? What do you say?" his nose gently grazed against mine. I sniffled and looked up at him to see him softly smile down at me, his eyes softly shining with empathy.

"Thank you Deacy. I'm happy you came back for me."

"I'll always come to you whenever you need me. You're my best friend (y/n)."

"And you're mine John Deacon." For the rest of the night Deacy pampered me with a warm bath filled with my favorite bath bombs and favorite scented candles. When the bath was done, he helped me into my favorite snuggly pj's before placing me on my bed and snuggling up close to me. My head resting over his chest and his arms wrapped around me snug and tight.

His hand rubbed my back comfortingly and every now and then I felt him kiss the crown of my forehead every time I sniffled or whimpered. Even though he always said he wasn't a singer, I heard him hum the tune to our song 'you're my best friend' and all the while I kept thinking of my baby girl.

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xmxisxforxmaybe · 5 years

Text

Remnants, Part VII

I’m so sorry to do this to you, but the angst was inevitable. If you’ve got questions, shoot me an ask and I’ll answer if it won’t spoil the plot : )

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI

Summary: You are in the midst of formulating your dissertation, but you’ve hit a wall. Your doting aunt, Rebecca, has a solution that brings you face to face with Ahkmenrah, Fourth King of the Fourth King. As the connection between you and Ahkmenrah grows, and as the secrets of his ancient tablet unlock, the once-king will find himself faced with a difficult choice.

Thanks so much to @kitkatcronch @kpopperotp12 @seafrost-fangirl @sassystrawberryk @perfect-rami @txmel and @limabein for reading : ) If anyone else wants added to the taglist, let me know. I’ve greatly appreciated the feedback!

Warnings: Smut. Ahk is a solid 20 years of age to be certain to avoid any squick factor.

“My god . . . we’re in Thebes.”

Ahkmenrah’s expression darkened at your use of the Greek name for his beloved city.

“I prefer its true name to that of the conquerors, but yes, that is where you now are.”

“This is incredible,” you uttered, walking toward the outer wall of what was clearly a palace, laying your hand against the warm stone, half expecting your hand to just fall through it like a ghost’s.

You looked at Ahk and your mouth dropped open into a smile of awe. Your heart was thudding inside of your chest, and you thought that this is what it must feel like when someone is about to die from happiness.

Ahkmenrah’s face returned your joyful grin, and he asked, “Are you ready to go inside?”

Your ecstatic smile fell from your face as you took in his appearance and your own.

“Ahk! Our clothes—we can’t be seen here like this. I can’t be seen at all! I don’t look like an Egyptian!”

Ahkmenrah reached out and grasped your upper arms, locking his eyes onto yours, steadying you.

“It is okay, Y/N,” he spoke slowly. “This is a memory. Or what I have come to call an ‘advanced memory.’”

“Advanced?”

“While the tablet seems to be able to open a portal to the underworld, it cannot, as far as I have figured out, open a door to the past, unless it is through a memory. So, I focused on a specific part of my childhood, wanting desperately to see my parents and siblings again, and when I configured the tablet, a door opened and brought me here.”

“So, we really are in the past?”

“Sort of. We are inside of my memory of the past. People cannot see me, but I am as the Akh in my ability to interact with them.”

“Interact? The Akh? As in one’s spiritual self who returns to earth to re-do wrongs, or something like that?”

“Come. It’s easier to show you,” Ahkmenrah said, before asking if he could put the tablet in your backpack for safe keeping.

You shook your head and after he zipped up the tablet, he reached for your hand, pulling you forward as he pushed open the palace door.

As archeologists unearthed more of ancient Egypt, they had discovered that the dusty stone palaces were once bright and colorful, all thanks to some hunks of stone that had been sheltered from the elements for a few millennia.

But looking at a small section of colorful stone could only allow the human imagination to delve so deep. Being there, in Ahk’s past memory, you were overwhelmed by the richness of the colors, by the ornateness of the details on everything from the floors to the walls to the ceilings. Depictions of the gods and their actions were everywhere, along with idioms, almost reminiscent of those found in today’s homes, although you had yet to read anything that was quite as cliché as something like, “Home is Where the Heart is.”

You could’ve spent a lifetime analyzing what was just an entry room, but the great wooden door thunked closed behind you. The sets of guards standing on either side glanced in your direction but made no movement that indicated they saw you or felt your presence.

“I am not really sure what they see when we interact with inanimate things,” Ahkmenrah explained. “If they do see anything at all.”

As Ahk lead you inward, you noticed that the room was getting taller. It was such a gradual change that you marveled at the engineering. After you had been walking for several minutes, you also noticed that there was a bright, golden sun carved into each stone, and as you stepped forward it was also growing larger.

Every pillar was painted and held intricate carvings that were clearly telling a story; Ahkmenrah explained that they told many of the same stories that had been immortalized in his papyruses.

“Though, these stories tend to focus more on the members of our royal line of succession than on my common relatives,” he explained.

By the time you reached the throne room, the pillars were so tall that they seemed to disappear into the ceiling, and the sun had grown so large that as you entered the throne room, it took up almost the entire space of the floor, its brightness deafening.

You wanted to look elsewhere, but the yellow paint of the sun held your gaze, and then you realized why the paint in the throne room was different than that on the stone walkway—

“Ahkmenrah,” you whispered as you dropped to the floor and touched the sun in disbelief. “This is . . . it’s made of . . . of gold.”

Ahkmenrah laughed, a deep laugh that echoed through the room. You glanced up, your eyes scanning the rows of the guards that lined the throne room and the small crowds of people that milled about, but his laughter caused no disturbance.

“Yes, Y/N. As are many, many things that you will encounter in the palace. What’s a bit of gold to the king of Egypt?” Ahkmenrah said through a smirk that did nothing to hide his pride at your reaction.

“I think I need a minute to just sit here.”

Ahkmenrah held his hand out to you, stating, “That is one thing we do not have a lot of. According to my calculations, 15 minutes inside of my memory is nearly 45 minutes in reality. I don’t think I want to know what happens if I fail to return to the present before dawn.”

You let Ahkmenrah help you up and lead you up the stairs to the throne. You stepped past a man, clearly a foreigner, who was kneeling on the stairs and speaking in an unfamiliar language.

You stopped and stared as you took in a young Ahkmenrah, clearly only a boy of 8 or 9 years old. He was so adorable that you felt your heart swell and your face break into a grin. His curls were closely cropped, and he wore a small golden crown. He was shirtless, not yet old enough to don something as sophisticated as a Wesekh, but he wore a thick band of gold as a necklace that was connected by two golden, painted Horuses. His shendyt was short, flowing, and dyed a deep blue with ribbons of bright purple threading. He stood stoically beside his father while his father listened to the man on the stairs.

On the other side stood Kahmunrah, clearly bored and far too old to be entertaining himself by stepping on a line of ants that were moving between two of the stones on the floor. Looking between the two boys, you saw that Kahmunrah was Ahkmenrah’s opposite in almost every way. While they shared the same dark, curly hair, stature, and skin tone, Kahmunrah’s face was cruel instead of kind, his eyes dark, like his father’s, and his lips were thin, prone to curling into a sneer as he made no point to hide his boredom.

You whispered to Ahk, “I can’t recall the name of your father.”

“Merenkahre.”

Merenkahre was handsome and emitted a strong feeling of ancient power from the way he sat statue-still to the boom of his voice as he addressed the man on the stairs. Merenkahre seemed to bear only a slight resemblance to his youngest son, and you wondered if Ahk’s appearance favored his mother.

Ahkmenrah interrupted your observations as he spoke up from beside you, “Let me show you how I can interact with them.”

He moved closer to his younger self and bent to ask, “What are you thinking about in this moment?”

No one but you and Ahkmenrah paid any attention as his younger self spoke in a hushed, hurried tone, almost as if he were speaking in a stream-of-consciousness.

You picked up on a word, maybe two, but looked at Ahk, puzzled.

“He, well, I said, ‘I wonder what this man’s village looks like because his clothes are reflective of the very strife of which he speaks. I need to ask father to show me where the village lies on the great map in his office. Perhaps he does not honor the gods in the same way as us, so they punish him and his people? If so, we need to help because we have the means to do so. No one should be starving while we have so much.’”

“Were you always so serious?” you asked, smiling at this little version of Ahkmenrah who returned to studying the man as if he had never even spoken.

“In the throne room, yes. I understood what it meant to be a king. My brother never did. Come, watch this.”

Ahkmenrah moved to stand beside his brother and asked of him the same thing.

“Boring, bored, boring. Why doesn’t father just kill him? He has the power of Ra. He could squash him like all these tiny ants. ANTS tremble before me, the great Kahmunrah and future king of all of things great and small! Ha! Ha-ha!”

“Good god,” you said. “He’s. . .”

“Disturbed. I know, well, I certainly know that now. This is mild compared to some of the other thoughts I have pulled out of him during my visits. He hid the more extreme aspects of himself well, but not well enough since my parents skipped him and crowned me instead.”

Ahkmenrah gave Kahmunrah one more forlorn look before taking your hand and leading you out of the throne room.

Instead of exiting through the entrance of the throne room, you went off to the right. Ahk led you through an archway that headed into an outdoor hallway that ended by opening into an elaborate garden. It was a small oasis with grass and large fern-like plants, trees cropped up in tall clusters and provided ample shade, and flowers that you had never seen before blossomed along tiny streams that flowed out of a large fountain.

Ahkmenrah’s feet followed a well-worn path to a hammock-like seat in the upper corner of the garden.

“This was one of my favorite places as a child. It is in the center of the palace and separates our house from our place of business. I played here in peace or with my sisters. Kahmun never had much interest in our games or in nature. See that tree over there, how it is much smaller than the others? Kah cut it down when we were playing a game, but Sitmut and I nursed it back to life.”

You were quiet for a few moments, the weight of your question filling you with dread.

“Ahk, have you returned to the time of your death?”

Ahkmenrah took a deep breath and looked at you with shame in his eyes.

“I want to know, Y/N. I have always wanted to know, but I am not sure I am ready. I am not sure I can do it alone.”

“Get that damn look off your face. You have nothing to be ashamed of—who, in their right mind, wouldn’t feel afraid to witness their own death? You don’t have to do anything alone, Ahkmenrah. You have me.”

Ahkmenrah looked at your face, his eyes searching to make sure you were serious.

“When I am ready, will you return with me to that memory?”

“Of course,” you said, cupping his face and kissing him.

“Thank you.”

You and Ahk sat together, enjoying the garden for a few more minutes before Ahkmenrah whispered that he’d like for you to meet his mother.

He took your hand again and lead you out of the north end of the garden. You walked for what felt like forever through hallway after hallway. You couldn’t believe the size of this palace; your precious books fell so short in comparison to being here, seeing, smelling, touching everything you had only ever read about, and it made you feel heady, overwhelmed in the most delightful way.

Finally, you could hear voices, the pretty trill of feminine laughter spilling out beneath a door. As Ahkmenrah pushed open the door, you found yourself squinting into the sunlight until you realized that the courtyard was not only full of sunlight, but full of women, mostly in white, flowing garments, while white linens hung in the doorways that led into other hallways, all billowing in the slight breeze. You looked around, your head moving comically fast as you noted just how diverse the body types of the women were. Ancient Egyptians were vain, believing that however they painted themselves on their tombs would be however they were resurrected. If only they had known how beautiful their diversity actually made them. Perhaps you didn’t give modernity and progress enough credit sometimes.

Many of the women were topless, their breasts shaped, once again, with a diversity that was lacking in their paintings. While their skirts or gowns were mostly white, their jewelry was colorful, many of them having jewels beaded into their dark hair. You had started to walk closer to a group of women who were chatting, wanting to look at their makeup, when Ahk pulled you along into another garden. This one, however, was more subdued, filled mostly with flowers.

You knew her from her aura before you even registered the regality of her clothing. She had the same largess of presence that her son did, and the same warmth radiated from her smile as she turned and saw young Ahkmenrah approaching.

Shepseheret was dressed in a sheer bright blue skirt, her skin much darker than Ahk’s or his father’s. Her skirt was wrapped around her hips and she wore a golden belt that matched the golden beads that mixed with other colors of beads within her Wesekh. She wore no top, instead only an arm cape of a matching bright blue, mixed with another layer of purple. Her Wesekh was ornate and left only the undersides of her breasts exposed. She looked like the goddess Isis herself.

Young Ahk bowed to his mother and she opened her arms, pulling him into a tight hug that he relaxed into. Then, he began to talk to her, rapidly, as a young child with much to tell was wont to do.

Ahkmenrah translated their conversation as you observed their body language. It was clear how much love the two had for one another and it hurt you to think about how much he must miss her. She fussed over his curls and ran her hand down the side of his face before kissing his forehead.

Young Ahkmenrah had confessed his concern over Kahmun’s lack of interest in the foreigner, and his mother reassured him that Kahmun would learn to embrace his duty, and if he did not, it was up to her and Merenkahre to worry about it, not her youngest son. She praised Ahk for his sensitivity, his quiet skills of observation and told him that they were strong qualities, qualities that he must nurture.

“Ahk, she’s achingly beautiful, so warm and loving. You have her eyes and her presence.”

“I miss her very much,” Ahkmenrah said, the sadness and loneliness from the first night you met filling his eyes.

You squeezed his hand before Ahkmenrah let go to approach his mother. He looked at her face for a long moment before asking her what she was thinking.

She whispered a short, simple sentence, and Ahkmenrah translated it with a thickness in his voice.

“Ahkmen, my sweet, loving boy. I wish I could keep you safe with me, here, always.”

Your eyes filled with tears at the genuineness of her love for her son, and you looked away, feeling like you were intruding on something deeply intimate.

Ahkmenrah, not missing your reaction stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“What is it?”

“The two of you. . . you’re just so pure, so raw in your emotion. She loves you so much, and it’s almost as if she knew that fate was going to take you from her.”

Ahkmenrah gripped you tightly and kissed your temple.

“So many retellings of our history are rife with betrayal, anger, and a hunger for power. But I was so happy here, so happy with my parents and sisters, even my brother. This is what I was hoping you would understand—we were unafraid of loving, of sharing, of truly living each day to its potential.”

“And it was cut so short for you. I’m sorry for that, Ahk. Sorry that you never got to experience having a family of your own.”

“It makes me sorry, too. But,” Ahkmenrah said, turning you in his arms, “fate brought me to you.”

You smiled, his words wrapping you in a warmth that rivaled the heat of the desert.

“How much time do we have left?”

Ahkmenrah pulled a watch out of his pocket.

“Another hour. What would you like to see?”

“How about your room?”

Ahkmenrah led you down another series of corridors, not too far from his mother’s wing of the palace. His room was as you had imagined a young prince’s room would be—large, ornate, and with a great view. His room opened onto a balcony that overlooked the Nile and the many farms of Egypt that littered the banks. The view took your breath away, and once again, you found yourself wishing you could spend an eternity here, just gazing out over the land of this ancient civilization.

Ahk’s movements inside his room drew your attention back to him. He was laid out on what you assumed was a bed. It was small, and it was comprised of a woven mat. Ahk’s head currently rested on a curved slab of marble, and you scoffed, unable to believe that living people slept like that. You had always assumed the Egyptians’ discovered version of a pillow was used only for entombment. Apparently, you were wrong.

“I guess the luxury of a big bed with fluffy pillows wasn’t something that came about until people got a bit lazier,” you said as you poked at the bed.

Ahk twisted out and gestured for you to get in. You cautiously laid down, terrified you were going to fall through it, wondering how the hell anyone could’ve copulated on such a thing.

You fit your head onto the pillow, and fixed Ahkmenrah with a look of disgust.

“No, not lazier. People just got smart enough to realize that sleeping on a rock sucks.”

Ahkmenrah chuckled and then fixed you with a slightly lecherous look. “I know that is not all you are wondering about.”

You huffed and sat up, attempting to bounce slightly on the bed only to realize that there was absolutely no give on the mat.

“Care to show me how that worked then?”

Ahkmenrah ushered you into an adjoining room, this one even more private than his bedroom.

Your mouth dropped open as you took in the elaborateness of this room. In the center was a large bath, closer to how you would define a small swimming pool than a bathtub. It had four carved pillars that formed fountain heads in the shape of the god, Min, that were running with water flowing from—

“Ahkmenrah, I think this room is vastly inappropriate for a child.”

He laughed, explaining, “We are educated about sex at a young age. We grow up knowing that it is our responsibility to pray to the gods for fertility, not only to propagate amongst ourselves but to also propagate the land. Fertility was the center of most of our worship, and that,” Ahkmenrah said, gesturing to the very prominent phallic fountain head, “was a very strong sign of it.”

For the millionth time that evening, you found yourself caught up in the disproportion of reading about something versus actually experiencing it.

You went back to studying the room and noted that the water itself was littered with petals. It smelled so sweet it was almost like a narcotic, rushing to calm your mind.

All around the bath were various steps or stone curves with blankets and squares of stuffed fabric that resembled pillows. Also littered around the room were mirrors, some of them directing beams of sunlight from openings in the roof directly into the bath.

“The mirrors—that’s how the bath was kept warm. How clever!”

“Most of the mirrors serve that purpose, yes. As you can see, once I got older, this is where I would . . . entertain.”

You looked around the room once more, taking it all in. You imagined what it would have been like to have been a guest of young king Ahkmenrah—except you didn’t really have to only imagine it.

“How much time do we have again?”

“Mmm, about 40 minutes now.”

You turned to face Ahk, your chin tilted up in a haughty stance, and declared, “I’d like to conduct some research.”

His face split into a wicked grin as he pulled off his t-shirt and stalked to you, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. Quickly, you both undressed, but you hesitated, clearly unsure about how this would work.

“I think you need to command me, my king,” you said with a shy smile.

Ahkmenrah looked at you with half-lidded eyes, a lazy smile on his lips as he stepped into the bath, settling with arms spread out to either side of him, completely relaxed.

“Come here, my queen. Slowly. I want to watch you.”

You walked to the edge of the bath, eyeing the steps inside of it. You sedately entered, allowing the warmth of the water to pull you further and further in.

Once the water was up to your collar bones, standing on your tiptoes, you hesitated, waiting for another command.

“Sit on my lap.”

You moved slowly through the deep water and back into the shallow as you stepped up to take a seat on Ahkmenrah’s lap. The water ran down your freshly exposed skin in tiny rivulets, cooling your breasts and making your nipples impossibly hard.

“Kiss me.”

You bent your head and kissed him, languishing in the taste and feel of his tongue as it swirled with your own. You ran your hands along as much of his skin as you could touch, and when you were both nearly breathless, Ahkmenrah tilted his head back, breaking the kiss. He looked into your eyes, his pupils dilated. You watched his lips form the command that sent a shiver of lust down your spine.

“Fuck me.”

The starkness of his command, the pure power that radiated from his eyes as he looked at you when he said it, made you wetter than the bath itself.

When you centered yourself above his cock, slowly lowering onto him, you noticed that you could see yourself in one of the mirrors that was directly behind the bath, and that mirror pointed directly at a mirror Ahkmenrah was staring into. You looked at him and he gave you that wicked grin again.

Your breathing picked up at the thought of just how sensual this was, and both of your moans mingled and reverberated through the room as you sunk down and engulfed his hard length.

Ahkmenrah never moved his arms from their place on the edge of the tub as you rode him, so you shifted your own hips and chased your own orgasm as you leaned back, your breasts a tantalizing sight for him as you bounced, splashing water over the sides of the bath. Never once did he buck his hips. Never once did he reach out to cup your breasts or bend to take a nipple between his lips. Never once did he grasp your hips to control your movements.

You were almost flabbergasted by how quickly you found your orgasm, watching your mirror-self bite your lip as your climax took hold, eyes rolling back, surprised at just how erotic it had been to be commanded by your soft, sweet Ahk.

It was clear that this was his place, his time, and he was a king here.

You slowed down a bit to catch your breath, but Ahkmenrah commanded, this time in a more biting tone to remind you who was in charge, “Fuck me.”

You entered a new state of bliss as you continued to drive Ahkmenrah to his own peak of pleasure, your thighs trembling with your continued movements, your hands digging into his shoulders, leaving tiny nail marks in his skin. When his mouth finally parted as his head lolled back, a stream of ancient Egyptian tumbled from his lips in a deep growl as he climaxed, his hands tightening on the edge of the bath.

You, fully enmeshed in this fantasy, didn’t stop moving until Ahkmenrah commanded it, the muscles of his own thighs twitching beneath yours.

Once his breathing steadied, he raised his head to meet your eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” you breathed, his softening cock still inside of you.

“Of course,” he whispered, clearly returning to the persona of Ahk that you were used to, and as you kissed him, he wrapped his arms around you, finally shifting to pull his cock from inside of you as he moved you to the center of the bath to ease the goosebumps on your upper arms.

You were wrapped up inside the warmth of the water and of Ahk’s arms and longed for this to be your life. No more stress, no more decisions, no more school, no more need for money, nothing but Ancient Egypt and Ahkmenrah.

Except this was only a memory, a place confined to the limits of Ahk’s own experiences.

And as if he read your mind, Ahkmenrah pulled you out of your thoughts as he said, “I’m sorry, Y/N, but we need to return.”

You looked at him, taking his face in your hands, running a watery hand through his hair.

“Thank you for bringing me here. This is . . . incredible. I was just wishing that we could—”

“Do not get stuck in that wish, Y/N. It would be too easy for us to just stay here, to just be stuck inside of this, but that is what we would be. Stuck.”

You raised your brow and with an alarming sincerity said, “I could be okay with stuck.”

Ahkmenrah laughed softly and kissed your nose. “I appreciate that, but we both know it isn’t true. Come on, my queen. Let us redress in our regal clothing of the present.”

You chuckled at Ahk’s quip and climbed out of the bath to dress. He pulled the tablet from your backpack and opened a doorway that led you out of his memory and back to the museum.

* * * * *

After experiencing Ahkmenrah’s memory, you redoubled your efforts on your dissertation, finding that your writing flowed with a new ease. If you wrote anything that needed backed up with more research, your chairs would catch it. After all, every good thesis took some risks that sometimes took their authors their entire life to fully prove.

For the next two weeks, you built time into your routine to visit Ahk and explore his memories. The two of you had worked your way up to his crowning and through the first few years of his rule. It was almost time to return to the night of Ahkmenrah’s death, that thought filling you both with dread.

However, Ahk didn’t know that you were also carrying another heavy burden; you had to make a decision about Ryan’s invitation.

It was once again the first Saturday of the month, so you were headed to the museum’s after-dark tours. Your latest chapter was submitted to your chairs, and that gave you a little time to relax while you waited on their feedback.

Ahkmenrah was standing in the lobby in his full regalia, waiting for one of the volunteers to count out the members of his tour group. You gave him a wave, and his face brightened when he saw you.

“Can I join this group, please?” you asked of the somewhat frazzled volunteer.

They nodded without looking up and declared Ahk’s group filled. You loved watching him walk confidently around the museum, interacting with the public, the authority of his presence something that people accepted, unable to figure out why a young museum docent would elicit such a feeling.

Ahkmenrah was clearly a favorite, and two teen girls whispered excitedly beside you, talking about how hot the docent was. You smiled to yourself, imaging that you’d be thinking the same thing at their age, at least for a minute before you found yourself asking no less than a hundred questions about ancient Egyptian life.

Ahkmenrah was about halfway through the tour, when you saw Ryan approaching. You couldn’t stop the dread that filled your stomach in an instant as you wondered what he was doing here. Ryan, at first, didn’t notice Ahkmenrah.

“Hey, Ry. What are you doing here?”

Ryan raised his brows, “Seriously?”

You huffed in response. “I told you we’d talk when I was ready.”

“Babe. It’s a week out. I’ve let you mull it over for two weeks. I’m dyin’ here without an answer.”

Ahkmenrah had definitely noticed Ryan, and even more definitely noticed when the tour moved on and you did not. He could tell something was wrong by the distress on your face. He led his group into the next exhibit and told them they had ten minutes to explore on their own before moving on.

The glitter of Ahkmenrah’s apparel caught your eye as he approached, and once again, your nerves seemed to ignite, anxiety clawing its ugly way around your chest.

“Is everything alright, Y/N?” Ahk interrupted, clearly sending a signal to Ryan that he was very aware of your discomfort.

Ryan took in Ahkmenrah’s appearance, a little surprised, then smirked.

“Maybe you can talk some sense into her, mate,” Ryan said. “She’s certainly not listening to me.”

“What do you mean?” Ahkmenrah asked, his brows furrowing slightly, but his posture remaining straight and intimidating, even though he was smaller than Ryan.

“We don’t need to talk about this now, Ahk. In fact, it really wasn’t something I wanted to talk about at all. With anyone.”

“Y/N, I’m trying to be patient because I want to do this with you. We could be happy, really happy. You’ve never been good at just letting life hand you a little bit of something good. Just because this doesn’t come with some steep, universal price, you don’t want to believe it could be a damn good thing!”

Ahkmenrah’s expression remained mostly stoic, but you could feel him growing angry just by the slight tightening of his mouth and his intake of breath.

“Ryan, let’s just go. Let’s talk about this—”

“Oh, I think you should talk about it here, Y/N,” Ahkmenrah interrupted, turning his stormy eyes from Ryan’s face to your’s.

Ryan was quiet, and watched the interaction, wondering if you’d lied to him about Ahkmenrah not being your boyfriend.

“Ahk, no. You’ve got a tour, and this is really complicated,” you said, a desperate edge hanging onto each of your words.

Ahkmenrah’s clipped tone shot through you. “Complicated? You seem to spend a lot of time getting yourself into complicated situations with a variety of people, don’t you?”

“That’s not fair. This has nothing to do with you, with us.”

Ryan couldn’t stop himself, and you wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor when he raised his voice and said, “Us? I knew you were fucking this guy! Damnit, Y/N. You said there was nothing there, and like a fucking idiot I believed you!”

Your eyes darted around the crowded museum, your hushed conversation and now Ryan’s outburst clearly drawing attention. You could only imagine what your trio of confrontation looked like to outsiders. A glittering pharaoh, a muscular Australian, and a girl who wished she were a piece of tapestry on the wall.

“You do not speak to her in that manner!” Ahkmenrah’s voice boomed, causing you to jump a little.

“Oh, no, no, no. We are not doing this, not here, no, no, no,” you said as you grabbed each of them by the arm and pulled them into the nearest stairwell.

As soon as the door banged shut, Ryan was in Ahkmenrah’s face.

“She has the opportunity of a lifetime in front of her. Do you want to be the one to fuck it all up?”

Ahkmenrah’s gaze, still thunderous as he glared up into Ryan’s face, said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Ryan stepped back and crossed his arms, the desire to fight receding as he realized he was the one with the atom bomb in his pocket.

“Tell him.”

You slumped against the wall, and ran your hands through your hair before sighing, “Ryan’s gotten a grant that will take him to Africa and to the Museum of Cairo for a total of six months. He can get me a spot, and if I went, I’d leave next week. It’s . . . it’s the opportunity of a lifetime.”

Ahkmenrah looked at you, the fight having gone out of him with every word you spoke until there was nothing left in his eyes but that familiar, distant sadness.

No one said anything for a long time.

“I need to return to my tour,” Ahkmenrah said, his cape trailing behind him as he pulled open the stairwell door and left you and Ryan alone in the echoing stairway.

“Nothing going on between you and the pharaoh, huh?”

“Oh, shut up, Ry. Don’t act like you never saw other girls.”

“I guess that should’ve been my big clue. You never really were jealous.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Does that mean I have my answer?”

You looked at him, his sandy hair, his handsome, clever face, his strong arms, and you met his blue eyes for what you thought would be the last time for a long, long time. They reflected the sadness you felt at the realization that this was it—there would never be anything else between the two of you because you weren’t in love with him.

“I can’t go with you, Ryan.”

Ryan nodded. He didn’t say anything as he pulled you into a long, tight hug, one last time. He let you bury your face in his chest, until you could stop the threat of tears. When you pulled back and looked up at him, he said, “I hope he’s worth it, babe.”

Ryan turned to jog down the stairs and you listened to the steady echo of his receding footfalls.

* * * * *

By just after midnight, the museum was completely empty of its strangers. You had spent the last few hours brooding in the break room, waiting for the tours to finish. Many of the exhibits were still dancing, carrying on and living their best un-lives, and the party atmosphere provided a stark contrast to the anxious dread that filled your mind.

As was becoming the habit when you fucked up, Ahkmenrah was sitting on the bench in his exhibit, his face a mask of disquiet contemplation. Before you could take a seat next to him, he raised his hand, stopping you, and said, “I want to go back to the night I died. I meant it when I said I needed you there. But after that, we will no longer see each other.”

“Ahk, I’m not going with Ryan because—”

“No. This is exactly what I feared when we crossed that line between friendship and created a deeper, more intimate connection. It is not fair to you nor to me. We have been foolish and—"

“Damnit, Ahkmenrah! I’m not going because I’m in love with you!”

Ahkmenrah lowered his gaze to the floor and closed his eyes, his voice maintaining an enviable steadiness as he spoke. “Please, Y/N. Stop. I am a means to an end for you. Once you have finished your dissertation, I will become nothing more than a remnant, a period of time that you look back on until you do not even want to do that anymore.”

“You’re wrong! Time doesn’t work like that when—”

“DO NOT LECTURE ME ABOUT TIME, Y/N!” Ahkmenrah shouted, his voice reverberating through his exhibit, his Anubis statues shifting, reminding you of their spears.

Your eyes filled with tears and your lip trembled, threatening to break the dam you had so cautiously built to contain your emotions over these last few months.

“Be here before sunset tomorrow,” Ahkmenrah stated, his tone dismissing you.

“Okay,” you said, your voice weak and strained, fighting off the lump in your throat that threatened to choke you.

You got as far as the first few steps from the door of the entrance to the museum, and as it shut behind you, you sunk onto the cold, stone stairs, your head in your hands, and sobbed.

Alone in his exhibit, Ahkmenrah let out a shaky breath as a single tear slid down his cheek.

#Ahkmenrah #ahkmenrah fanfiction #ahk #ahkmenrah imagine #ahkmenrah x reader #NATM #natm ahkmenrah #rami malek #rami malek character #ahk x reader

173 notes · View notes

astralgloss · 6 years

Note

im a curious meanie so 1-134 muhahaha you get to relive the hell i just went through

etab i haTE U

1: Name

my name is marit lol but please just keep it mar

2: Age

i am 17 but i’ll b 18 in 2 months!!!!

3: 3 Fears

the dark, complete and utter loneliness, and clowns

4: 3 things I love

books, forest fruit tea, the sound of rain

5: 4 turns on

a nice smile that reaches the eyes, a nice smell, having a dog ngl, a soft touch

6: 4 turns off

extreme arrogance, insisting to pay for my meal if i want to pay bc its “what a man should do”, forcing lifestyles on me, not caring about my interests

7: My best friend

she does have tumblr but idk it but hey demi if u ever see this ur the bomb.com

8: Sexual orientation

im bi fam

9: My best first date

my bf and i went to amsterdam to go shopping and he followed me everywhere (even the bookshop even though he hates books) and idk i just love him it was a nice day

10: How tall am I

im 1,65m or 5′4″ but i can and will kick ur ass

11: What do I miss

nothing really??

12: What time was I born

ok so i asked my mom and she said i was born on a tuesday at exactly 12pm but i bet she’s lying

13: Favorite color

yellow!! im basic!!

14: Do I have a crush

well i sure hope so @ boyfriend

15: Favorite quote

to the stars who listen, and the dreams that are answered

16: Favorite place

my bf’s house tbh, specifically his bed

17: Favorite food

pizza, specifically the hot chicken one from ny pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm

nah fam (ofc i do im a little shit)

19: What am I listening to right now

god is a woman by ariana grande

20: First thing I notice in new person

how they look at other people when those people don’t notice it

21: Shoe size

38/39 idk the other size lol sorry

22: Eye color

its blue but it changes with my mood (oh my god im so sorry im kidding please don’t hate me)

23: Hair color

im a blondie

24: Favorite style of clothing

sth casual but also a bit towards the punkish style, but i also rlly love looking tiny and soft and cute lol

25: Ever done a prank call?

ok so there’s this hotline for kids who have troubles with their parents and families but it was a shit hotline tbh so once i called it up with my friends pretending i was crying and the man on the phone asked me what was wrong so i told him that all my friends had fire type pokemon and i only had grass type pokemon and they kept beating me and i didnt know what to do and then man was so confused it was funny af

27: Meaning behind my URL

idk man i wanted a name that could b easy to remember and i was inspired by ridgeport tbh

28: Favorite movie

the perks of being a wallflower

29: Favorite song

Fav song atm is anything from p!atd's newest album and my fav song of all time is probably train of consequences by megadeth

30: Favorite band

megadeth lol

31: How I feel right now

pretty good but also annoyed bc i have to go to work in half an hour :(

32: Someone I love

my bf

33: My current relationship status

if u guys havent noticed by now im taken

34: My relationship with my parents

p ok

35: Favorite holiday

halloween/christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

I have my ears pierced and thats it lol

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

i rlly want a few bookish related tattoos, like a tiny raven, a little lightning bolt, and the city of velaris and then i also rlly want a sleeve tbh but imma be a teacher and idk if i can :/ about piercings: i rlly want a helix or tragus and maybe get second holes in my hearlobes

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

ok so ive been on tumblr for about 5 years and initially it was bc i was Depressed™ and then about a year ago i found out about simblr and i was hooked

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

tbh i dont even talk to him anymore i dont rlly care about him in any way

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yes bih

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

hes my bf so yea lol

42: When did I last hold hands?

wednesday

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

about 45 minutes bc im lazy and i keep getting distracted

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope

45: Where am I right now?

in bed lol

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

either my bf or my best friend

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

depends on where i am

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

mom

49: Am I excited for anything?

tbh moving out but thats gonna take a few more years

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

*insert bf here*

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

every time im at work lol

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

wednesday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

lol bye

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

nope

55: What is something I disliked about today?

the fact that i have to work a day shift instead of an evening shift

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

my internet friends tbh it’d be cool to meet all the people from my bookish discord or from @booptherat‘s discord

57: What do I think about most?

what book i should read next

58: What’s my strangest talent?

i can finish a book in about 4 hours

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

not rlly? i hate the whole asmr thing tho ew

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

61: What was the last lie I told?

i dont remember tbh

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

neither lol

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

look im not saying that believing that we’re the only living species in the entire universe is narcissistic, but it is. also dont fuck with ghosts

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yes

65: Do I believe in luck?

hell yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?

idk probably cloudy and windy

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nah not rlly

69: Do I have any nicknames?

i guess mar?

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

when i was 2 i fell from sth and slammed the corner of my eye onto the corner of a table and i couldve been blind but thank god im not

71: Do I spend money or save it?

both

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

yup

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

post it notes

74: Favorite animal?

doggg

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

reading lol

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

idk man

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

i gotta feeling by the black eyed peas lol

78: How can you win my heart?

give me a samoyed and a 1000 books

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“a boss ass bitch”

80: What is my favorite word?

fuck?

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@cubersims @imvikai @ridgeport @cowplant-pizza @bloomlet @tiptoptab

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

spend fiddies, pet kitties, hold tiddies

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of lol

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

the power to choose whatever power i want at any moment

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“do you like working here?”

86: What is my current desktop picture?

its an august background from @emmastudies

87: Had sex?

yes

88: Bought condoms?

89: Gotten pregnant?

90: Failed a class?

yes

91: Kissed a boy?

yup, i’ve been kissing my bf for about 2,5 years now lol

92: Kissed a girl?

yup, i’m living the bisexual dream lol

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yes

94: Had job?

yes, im working at a movie theater right now!!

95: Left the house without my wallet?

tbh all the time now that i can pay with my phone

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

yea i used to but that was when i was 12 and i’d like to say that i’ve grown a lot in the past 5 years

97: Had sex in public?

nope

98: Played on a sports team?

yes

99: Smoked weed?

nope, even though i live like 20 minutes away from amsterdam lol

100: Did drugs?

nope

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nope

102: Drank alcohol?

yupppp, i love me some raspberry cider

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nope

104: Been overweight?

nope

105: Been underweight?

nope

106: Been to a wedding?

yup

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

lol all the time tbh

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yup

109: Been outside my home country?

yup, however never outside of europe tho

110: Gotten my heart broken?

a few times

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yess, i saw the dutch female volleyball team once!

112: Broken a bone?

nope

113: Cut myself?

yes

114: Been to prom?

we dont do prom in the netherlands lol

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

nope

117: What concerts have I been to?

k3 (only dutchies and belgians remember this), one direction, megadeth, and ed sheeran

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yupp

119: Learned another language?

i mean im from the netherlands and im fluent in english thanks to myself

120: Wore make up?

yuppp

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

yes

122: Had oral sex?

lol yes

123: Dyed my hair?

nope

124: Voted in a presidential election?

not old enough to vote :(

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nope

126: Had a surgery?

nope

127: Met someone famous?

nope

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

nope

129: Peed outside?

a few times lol

130: Been fishing?

nope

131: Helped with charity?

yep

132: Been rejected by a crush?

a few times

133: Broken a mirror?

lol yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

some books, money, cake, more books, makeup

#this was A LOT #im done now #no more questions #about me #asks #tiptoptab

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nerdperson524 · 6 years

Text

85 questions tag from forever ago

tagged by: @nerdylilbunny i think..im sorry ive lost track of who tagged me in all these

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

— What was your last…

1. Drink: milk

2. Phone call: my grandmother

3. Text message: my aunt

4. Song you listened to: “As Long As You’re Mine” from Wicked

5. Time you cried: two nights ago

6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never had a kiss

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: a friend from middle school that i think my awkward middle school self scared off. you know who you are.. hmu bro i saw you at orientation

10. Been depressed: hahahahahahaahahhaha literally all of high school

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

— Fave colours

12. dark purple

13. dark blue

14. black

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yesss @fangirl-writes-poetry

16. Fallen out of love: yes

17. Laughed until you cried: yes just a few weeks ago actually. hmu if you wanna hear about it

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes and i really didn’t care because the guy who started it was a douche bag but i wanted to hear the dramaaaaaa

19. Met someone who changed you: yep

20. Found out who your friends are: yes yes yes @MEG @fangirl-writes-poetry

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: back to the “never had a kiss” and i hardly use facebook so

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: well like all of them are family or people I know because stranger danger and all that

23. Do you have any pets: there is a dog living in my house that i refuse to call my own

24. Do you want to change your name: i wanted it to be Daniella once, but now I might save that for my kid

25. What did you do for your last birthday: went to an escape room.

26. What time did you wake up today: 10:15 ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching Good Mythical Morning on Youtube

28. What is something you can’t wait for: TO MOVE INTO MY COLLEGE DORM AND OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE IN ONE MONTH AND 10 DAYS

30. What are you listening to right now: the annoying sounds of an 11 year old making dinner and seething about how she blames me for every damn thing when she an effing hypocrite who did the exact same thing and sorry i didnt mean to rant oh wait yes i did

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: dont believe i have

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: “guy in my class. thinks he is better than everyone else and disses me for reading” lol i relate so hard to this last response. Torkelson. Hate You. also the annoying younger sister mentioned above.

33. Most visited website: tumblr, youtube

34. Hair colour: my typical answer is dirty blonde but it has gotten much darker over the past few years so imma go with a few shades darker than dirty blonde

35. Long or short hair: medium long with an undercut

36. Do you have a crush on someone: ummmmmmmmmm

37. What do you like about yourself: nothing--- oh wait they said i cant say that----can i say my eyes?---okay yeah my eyes cuz theyre...gray

38. Want any piercings: i want the piercing but none of the cleaning part of it so no

39. Blood type: idk. i really should know these things

40. Nicknames: Bug, Lou (both reserved for family, fight me), Court (I despise this one because the people I hate most are the ones who use it), Courtney, Nerd, just call me courtney or tag me

41. Relationship status: single

42. Sign: gemini

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: riverdale, the flash, supergirl (and ive watched everything available for these on netflix so I need some show recs)

45. Tattoos: nope but I want several

46. Right or left handed: right

47: Ever had surgery: wisdom teeth out. tonsils and adenoids out....my mouth must hate me

48. Piercings: yeah just my ears

49. Sport: i like to watch baseball and forget football (american) HOW BOUT THAT HALFTIME SHOW?!?!?!? GO MARCHING BAND!!!

50. Vacation: what was the question

51. Trainers: again, um what was the question

— More general

52. Eating: nothing but im starting to get hungry

53. Drinking: nothing

54. I’m about to watch: idk....netflix

55. Waiting for: TO MOVE INTO MY COLLEGE DORM AND OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE IN ONE MONTH AND 10 DAYS

56. Want: love and affection from someone more than just family or friends

57. Get married: eventually

58. Career: chemical engineer hopefully

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: hugs until i experience kissing

60. Lips or eyes: eyes

61. Shorter or taller: taller...but average

62. Older or younger: slightly older or same age

63. Nice arms or stomach: igaf because I like a nice personality

64. Hookup or relationships: relationships

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: more hesitant

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: nope...whats with all the kissing questions...clearly im missing out

67. Drank hard liquor: nope

68.Turned someone down: yep. Torkelson, Rodgers, Edens (kinda regretting that last one..he was Longbottomed)

69. Sex on first date: nope!!

70: Broken someone’s heart: i dont think so.....but maybe I have

71. Had your heart broken: yeah...

72. Been arrested: nope

73. Cried when someone died: uhhhh no because i literally cannot cry in public and i just dont get emotional about things from outside of myself...if that makes any sense

74. Fallen for a friend: no...yes...maybe...@middle school awkwardness

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: yeah hardly---oh I cant say that either?---no comment

76. Miracles: sometimes

77. Love at first sight: I want to

78. Santa Claus: OF COURSE SANTA IS REAL THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT

79. Angels: i want to..kinda

— Misc

80. Eye colour: blue/gray

81. Best friends name: Olivia, Meghan

82. Favourite movie: dont do this to me

83. Favourite actor: i dont dwell on these things

84. Favourite cartoon: Teen Titans (thats it...no “GO!”), Danny Phantom, all the old good stuff from my childhood

85. Favourite teacher’s name: Antone, Russell, Holt, Shaw, Messinetti, Cancemi, Roach, McGill, Freels

tagging everyone who wants to

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twerkhammett · 6 years

Note

1-154

Holy fuck, good thing I have a long train ride😂1. Full nameAngelica DeLillo2. Age213. 3 fearsFailure, getting snatched up one of these nights im on the train alone, losing the people i care about4. 3 things I loveNik, food, and our cat5. 4 turn onsBiting, slapping (ass face and tits), being tied up or held down, and when he gets that mean look on his face and i know hes gonna be really rough with me ugh6. 4 turn offsI have had these experiences with almost every person I've been with except Nik..bad hygiene, being rushed (you cum yet?), bad oral and when i tell them what would feel good they dont listen..and worst of all sex that feels half assed. They just want to cum real quick, theres no passion or effort, they don't care if they please you at all. Fucking horrible..7. My best friendIn cali my best friend here besides Nik is Ashley, and I get to live with them both its awesome! In Florida I cant choose one cuz ive known them all forever and love those dudes..Mels, Denzel, Brauston, and Alicia8. Sexual orientationBisexual9. My best first dateWith Nikolas obviously 😉10. How tall i am5'611. What do I missMy friends and family back home12: What time were I born3:55pm13: Favourite colorGreen14: Do I have a crushOn my boyfriend😂15: Favourite quoteIdk man16: Favourite placeHard to choose one, maybe my bed😂17: Favourite foodI hate favorites..pizza and wings18: Do I use sarcasmNever :)19: What am I listening to right nowSlayer 20: First thing I notice in new personIf they're fuckin rude or not21: Shoe size822: Eye colorBrown23: Hair colorLight brownish? Auburn?24: Favourite style of clothingBlack25: Ever done a prank call?Yup27: Meaning behind my URLKirk twerkin28: Favourite movieKung Fury29: Favourite songCant choose30: Favourite bandStill cant choose my dude31: How I feel right nowMeh32: Someone I loveNik33: My current relationship statusIn love af its disgusting34: My relationship with my parentsPretty good these days35: Favourite holidayHalloween36: Tattoos and piercing i haveNips, lips, and ears37: Tattoos and piercing i wantA lot, whenever i get the money..38: The reason I joined TumblrMels made me join lol39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?I don't think he hates me, but i hate his bitch ass..40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?I used to get them from Nik but we live together so now he can just tell me lol41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?This morning42: When did I last hold hands?Yesterday43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?15mins, its caffeinating myself that can take time44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?Noooope45: Where am I right now?On BART46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?Nik, been a while since thats happened tho47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Loud48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Nope49: Am I excited for anything?For class to be over so i can relax lol...haven't even got there yet50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?Nik, Denzel, Brauston51: How often do I wear a fake smile?At work lmao52: When was the last time I hugged someone?Does my cat count? An hour ago lol53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?This would never happen, but I would go to jail if it did lol54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Not that i know of?55: What is something I disliked about today?Nik had to work early and I've been sexually frustrated af56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?James57: What do I think about most?Nik and food are tied i think58: What’s my strangest talent?Idk59: Do I have any strange phobias?Eh not really60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Behind61: What was the last lie I told?Not sure, probably at work lol62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?On the phone63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Aliens yeah64: Do I believe in magic?Nah65: Do I believe in luck?Not really66: What’s the weather like right now?64 and clear skys67: What was the last book I’ve read?Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?Yesss69: Do I have any nicknames?Besides the ones Nik has for me no70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?Cut my knee open71: Do I spend money or save it?That shits gone pretty fast dont get to spend it on anything fun tho haha72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?Nah73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?My backpack has some pink on it74: Favourite animal?My cat😂75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Fucking76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Trump77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Nightcrawler78: How can you win my heart?Be Nikolas or James Hetfield79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Nothing80: What is my favorite word?Fuck81: My top 5 blogs on tumblrIdk man i like a lot of yall82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?Someone please assasinate the orange one83: Do I have any relatives in jail?Not that i know of84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?Invisibility or time travel85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Not sure86: What is my current desktop picture?Some nature pic bc i havent change it87: Had sex?On a daily basis my dude88: Bought condoms?Yes89: Gotten pregnant?No90: Failed a class?Yup91: Kissed a boy?Yup92: Kissed a girl?Yep93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Yes, Nik94: Had job?Sadly95: Left the house without my wallet?Fucking yes!!!96: Bullied someone on the internet?No lol97: Had sex in public?A few days ago lmao98: Played on a sports team?Yep99: Smoked weed?This is where my extra money goes..sigh100: Did drugs?Nothing crazy but yeah101: Smoked cigarettes?Yes102: Drank alcohol?Yeah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?Noo104: Been overweight?Nope105: Been underweight?Nope106: Been to a wedding?Yep107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?Yes lol108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?Yeah109: Been outside my home country?Not yet, but I plan on it110: Gotten my heart broken?Yeah couple years ago111: Been to a professional sports game?Yep112: Broken a bone?My finger lol113: Cut myself?A while ago114: Been to prom?Nope115: Been in airplane?Yes116: Fly by helicopter?No but I want to!!117: What concerts have I been to?Megadeth, Metallica, Exodus, Testament, Carcass, Slayer, Midnight, Kreator, Obituary, Children of Bodom, Rammstein, and a few more but those were the best ones118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Quite a few times119: Learned another language?Some German and some ASL120: Wore make up?I wear mascara121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yeah122: Had oral sex?Yupppppp123: Dyed my hair?Yes124: Voted in a presidential election?Yep!125: Rode in an ambulance?Nope126: Had a surgery?No127: Met someone famous?Nope128: Stalked someone on a social network?A while ago hahah129: Peed outside?Yep130: Been fishing?Yes131: Helped with charity?I donate to greenpeace monthly132: Been rejected by a crush?Sorta133: Broken a mirror?Im sure I have, I def had a big ass mirror fall on my fuckin head one time tho!134: What do I want for birthday?Some dick😂135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?2 max, no idea about names, havent thought about it much136: Was I named after anyone?No137: Do I like my handwriting?Its a bit sloppy but yeah138: What was my favourite toy as a child?Barbies lol139: Favourite Tv Show?DBZ😂140: Where do I want to live when older?The forest, somewhere in Colorado maybe141: Play any musical instrument?Not well lol142: One of my scars, how did I get it?Accidentally stabbed myself at work143: Favourite pizza toping?Mushrooms144: Am I afraid of the dark?No, I need it to sleep145: Am I afraid of heights?A bit146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yes lmao, many times by my dad usually147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Did you mean my last relationship😂😂148: What I’m really bad atProcrastination149: What my greatest achievments areGetting the fuck out of fl, some of my artwork, learning to cope with my depression150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meProb something my ex said lol151: What I’d do if I won in a lotteryQuit my job, build a house, and open a cave bar (me and Ashley were just talkin about that)152: What do I like about myselfWell i guess i never stop trying even tho i fuck up a lot hahah153: My closest Tumblr friend@stalkhome-sindrone probably😁154: Something I fantasise aboutA stable income...Thanks for that big ass ask my anonymous dude!!😂To the rest of my followers, sorry for the long post and some of the tmi questions😊

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urscottsdale · 6 years

Note

1-100 😌

1:when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? i rarely eat cereal but i think i usually balance them pretty equally or try to lol

2:do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? i love it as long as im all bundled up

3:what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually the closest piece of paper i can find

4:how do you take your coffee/tea? with lots of sugar 😏

5:are you self-conscious of your smile? very

6:do you keep plants? nope

7:do you name your plants? nada

8:what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? writing and music

9:do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes

10:do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? all of the above

11:what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? no friends, no jokes other than maybe im the quiet one

12:what’s your favorite planet? pluto

13:what’s something that made you smile today? my dog

14:if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? my room: messy, theirs: clean

15:go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! uranus is tilted on its side 😉

16:what’s your favorite pasta dish? spaghetti

17:what color do you really want to dye your hair? blue

18:tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. idk tbh

19:do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i dont

20:what’s your favorite eye color? brown eyes 😍

21:talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. who comes up with these questions? bc i dont have a favorite bag

22:are you a morning person? no i hate mornings

23:what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? listen to music

24:is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? theres a couple, one doesnt know it tho

25:what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? never broken into anywhere lol

26:what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? vanz

27:what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28:sunrise or sunset? sunset

29:what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? randomly checking up on me and actually meaning it when they say they care

30:think of it: have you ever been truly scared? a handful of times yes

31:what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. love socks and wearing them, dont sleep in them and i have an assortment of colors bc white is boring

32:tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. there was this time i went out drinking with my friend after graduation, these two guys were hitting on her after she called them gay (even bought us drinks), my friend is gay so that was interesting lol

33:what’s your fave pastry? doughnuts

34:tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? winnie the pooh and hell yes i still have it

35:do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? love them but never use them

36:which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? backstreet boys

37:do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like keeping it clean but it tends to stay messy lol

38:tell us about your pet peeves! i have too many pet peeves tbh

39:what color do you wear the most? blue and maroon (not together tho)

40:think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? cross necklace is self-explanatory, dog tag necklace i got from my parents so it holds a special meaning to me

41:what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? to kill a mockingbird

42:do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks…

43:who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? lol one of my friends back in like 5th grade

44:when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? summer and winter breaks in high school

45:do you trust your instincts a lot? yup

46:tell us the worst pun you can think of. sex while camping is fucking in tents ;)

47:what food do you think should be banned from the universe? most kinds of fish

48:what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being alone, and yes actually

49:do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes but i cant remember tbh. most i have were gifted to me.

50:what’s an odd thing you collect? keys

51:think of a person. what song do you associate with them? @thisvanessa - count on me by bruno mars

52:what are your favorite memes of the year so far? im pretty sure ive never seen a meme i didnt love so. the spongebob one is pretty good tho.

53:have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i wish i could tell u

54:who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my dog lol

55:what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? idk im pretty passive aggressive so i do a lot lol

56:what are some things you find endearing in people? same as earlier, randomly checking up on me and also saying they miss me

57:go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? nope

58:who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? my ex friend is the wine mom and idk maybe im the vodka aunt lol

59:what’s your favorite myth? the earth is flat

60:do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yess langston hughes and edgar allan poe

61:what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? cant think of any tbh, maybe the dancing chicken that used to be passed around for years in my family

62:do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? orange juice and cran-grape juice

63:are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i just leave them be

64:what color is the sky where you are right now? gray

65:is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? yes

66:what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk not big on flower crowns

67:how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i love them so much

68:what’s winter like where you live? hot with a random cold day here and there

69:what are your favorite board games? wahoo/marbles, sorry, candyland, pretty much all of them lol

70:have you ever used a ouija board? nope

71:what’s your favorite kind of tea? sweet tea

72:are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yes but im also too lazy to note things so i end up forgetting a lot

73:what are some of your worst habits? procrastination

74:describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. beautiful, bubbly, cute, always smiling even tho i know they r sad deep down

75:tell us about your pets! small, black fur ball full of energy

76:is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? so many things

77:pink or yellow lemonade? pink

78:are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither im a minion dc club

79:what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? idk told me i give them butterflies or get nervous when talking to me

80:what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? i think they r an off white an bc my apartment landlord wont let me change them lol

81:describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. dark pools of chocolate

82:are/were you good in school? i was alright could of been better if i wasnt so lazy

83:what’s some of your favorite album art? never thought about that maybe something justin bieber has done

84:are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i want to but im not sure tbh

85:do you read comics? what are your faves? nope

86:do you like concept albums? which ones? yes theres a lot

87:what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? high school musical

88:are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? yes

89:are you close to your parents? yes

90:talk about your one of you favorite cities. im pretty sure i could never get tired of nyc

91:where do you plan on traveling this year? i successfully did not travel anywhere this year, thank you bank account ur the best

92:are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drown it in cheese

93:what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? short hair, short on the sides and longer on top

94:who was the last person you know to have a birthday? me

95:what are your plans for this weekend? lazy days

96:do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastination is my middle name

97:myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, scorpio and hufflepuff

98:when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont think ive ever been hiking but i want to

99:list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. over and over again by tim mcgraw, make you miss me by sam hunt, remember when by alan jackson, unhinged by nick jonas, chainsaw by nick jonas, untitled by simple plan and welcome to my life by simple plan

100:if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? damn thats a really hard one. probably the future tbh.

#thisvanessa #answered

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bfknj · 7 years

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tags masterpost (?)

I was tagged in a few tag games over the past few days and instead of posting them all separately I decided to just put them all on one! If I tagged you feel free to do any or all of these (including people who tagged me!!) As always, don’t feel any pressure to do any, I just think these are fun and wanted to share :)

- - - - 11 questions tag - - - -

Rules: 1. Make sure to post the rules!! 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people

these questions are from @moonmyun !! michaela you had me stRUGGLIN OKAY YOUR QUESTIONS WERE HARD but ily still bless you for the tag you angel :”)

1 who is your bias group? why?

BANGTAN SONYEONDAN AKA MEME SQUAD !!!!!!! honestly they just make me so beyond happy wow holly nobody ever says that about their favs ur original a LOOOT of music is centered around love these days and not to say bts doesn’t do that with a lot of their music but they also tackle a lot of societal issues and I really respect them for that. From 21st century girls w politics, spring day mv and the ferry sinking, suicide in the I need u mv and many other things I feel like they take risks for the sake of portraying what they hold true to their hearts/morals not necessarily what will sell best and I can’t name many other groups who do that as well :( also my boys cute af I love those dweebs IM SO WHIPPED HAH

2 which kpop video do you find the most aesthetically pleasing?

this is hard :(( idk my number one but I really like seventeen hip hop unit’s check in, red velvet’s one of these nights, ladies code’s galaxy, kim lip of loona’s eclipse and crush’s fall ! they don't all match my aesthetic but I feel like they match the songs really well!!! watch them okay 3/5 of them are hELLA UNDERRATED bye

3 if you could instantly learn one choreography, what would you pick?

something by either gfriend or bts?? love whisper or not today or blood sweat tears?? OOOH or red flavor by rv!! tbh though I’m really skinny so my limbs look weird af with a lot of dances rip

4 who do you look up to as a role model (in the kpop community or not)?

there’s no person in particular that really sticks out but I will say I’ve always admired jungkook, and really all trainees for that matter, who leave their families to start training really young because its a process thats hard physically, emotionally and mentally for late teen/early twenties trainees but there’s sO many kids who enter in their pre-teens and idk how they survive also I realized this doesn’t answer your question at all I'm sorry its 1:28 AM I’m just waiting for the DNA mv to drop

5 whose concert would you go to if you could and why?

DAY6 DAY6 DAY6 DAY6 !!!!! THEY INVENTED LIVE SHOWS DONT FIGHT ME ON THIS or shoot maybe dean or crush or heize?? I LOVE TOO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE also I would say bts but although there are countless amazing beautiful armys there are def some crazy scary ones that are known to be horrible at concerts so

6 if you could pick one idol to be best friends with, who would it be and why?

OK YALL IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A LOT IN MY DAILY LIFE SO S/H TO MICHAELA FOR ASKING ILY either boo seungkwan or ahn heeyeon!! I feel like hani would be so fun to have girl time with bc I feel like we’re really similar in some ways ?? IDK I LOVE HER bUT overall I’d say boo seungkwan because istg we are 100000000% the same person only he has a weenie ok just trust me I am boo and boo is me

7 would you want to be a part of a kpop group if you had the opportunity to be?

I’d absolutely love to be in the entertainment industry and I think the staging, costuming, group dynamics and publicity (variety shows, fan service/interations) in the kpop industry are all really cool but I honestly don't think I have the mental strength to do it lmao idols go through so much and I don’t think I could handle it regardless of how much I enjoy singing/dancing/performing etc.

8 what languages do you speak, and which do you want to learn?

english and some spanish??? I understand a lot because quite a bit of my family speaks it but my conversational skills have gone downhill recently because I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to practice :( with that said, I’d like to be fluent in spanish and - BEFORE YOU COME FOR ME READ IT ALL OK - I’d like to learn korean BECAUSE!!!!! when I was little before I moved I would go to a farmers market by my house and a lot of the older ladies there spoke korean and little holly though it sounded so pretty and I always wanted to chat w them ok THATS WHY I’m not a creepy koreaboo this has been a thing since before I even knew what a kpop was ok bye

9 what song cheers you up when you’re sad?

fire by bts bc I get hella turnt to that song its a pROBLEM also jackpot by block b, baby/puss in boots by astro, chained up by vixx, not today/bst by bts, knock knock by twice, i think I love you by sonamoo THE LIST GOES ON I HAVE A WHOLE PLAYLIST OK

10 what things do you associate with your bias?

dimples!! pretty hands, closing one eye in selcas, ootds, happiness so cheesy ik sORRY, ryan, studying, awkward dancing, open mouth laughs, second hand embarrassment, sentimental rants

11 what’s your favourite thing to do in your free time?

cry over namjoon tbh I’m one of those people who is constantly listening to music so I’m always doing that and singing along regardless of if its free time or not HAH then I really like reading and catching up on my youtube subscriptions

my questions!

what is your dream job?

favorite book of all time?

what is your current fashion like and what is your dream fashion?

if your best friend was cloned, how would you know which one of the two was your best friend?

what song got you into kpop?

which idol do you think is most similar to you?

favorite kpop lyrics?

if given the opportunity to collaborate with any group/soloist of your choice, who would you choose and why?

what is your favorite physical and character trait of your ult?

which underrated groups/soloists do you believe deserve more recognition? any song recs?

do you read fanfics? if so, what are your favorites?

- - - - song title game - - - -

I was tagged by @kihani, your song choices were 12/10

rules: spell you your url with kpop songs and tag ten people! (all of these happen to by song recs too so listen nd be happy friends)

mysterious - hello venus

i think i love you? - sonamoo (a fav ok listen pls)

life in color - beenzino

knock - knk

jelly - hotshot

only u - daze

out of sorts - vixx

night rather than day - exid

she’s a baby - zico

- - - - get to know me tag! - - - -

1ST RULE: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true. tagged by @sleepysugarmoon, thank you friend!! APPEARANCE: I am 5'7" or taller I wear glasses (or contact lenses) I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it ABILITY: I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month Fandoms are my #1 passion I do or have done martial arts EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship I have a crush on a celebrity I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone RANDOM SHIT: I have breakdanced I have had a teacher with the last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages I have made a new friend in the past year

tagging some mutuals bc ily and why do you even follow me I'm a wreck tbh OK i tag: @kihani, @21jd, @lapatronakim, @94seulqi, @gayoongi, @springdqy, @medina-kim, @15minss, @je0n, @cottontae, @taebaeul, @booty-baekery, @lalisl, @babekhyun, @voidpjm and anyone else who wants to try any or all of these!!

#i love tags yayayay #don't feel like you have to do it!!#tags

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stay-trash-2017 · 5 years

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Kim Kayhyun was a girl from a rough past. Her parents broke up when she was only a few months old, her mom is a hard working asshole. Her father was disabled, not disabled in the way you think. He broke his shoulder in a car accident when he was in a car accident with his 5 year old Kayhyun. A few years later he got in another car accident with his girlfriend at the time and fucked up his brain. He cant talk or think as fast as he used to. He has a new girlfriend though, Park Demyuna. She has two daughters who just happen to be kayhyun's favorite people. Her two daughters names are Park Karajin and Jung Runjyun. Runjyun is 11 and karajin is 14 almost 15. Kayhyun is only 14 and has already been put through hell. She has a little brother Hwang Xanie who just turned 8. Kayhun was very greatful for what she had no matter what but her parents did piss her off quite alot. Her school life wasnt any better, sure she had a few good friends who loved her to death but she hated everyone else. Kayhyun's best friend Min aniha and her boyfriend Jeona Jigsew would basically fuck in the middle of the hallway, it is very gross.

KAYHYUN'S POV

Ive really only has every had one crush in my life time, his name is Bang Chan. He was tall and had the most lucious brown curls in his hair. His dimples so deep you could swim in them, his eyes were so soft and caring, and his voice makes me melt. Its like honey, better yet an angel. I only know this because a little while ago we both auditioned for a music company called JYP, he and i both became trainees and we found a new friend ship through that. He is the sweetest person on earth but every one know the biggest smile hides enormous amounts of hurt. Chan had been through almost as much as i had been through. He came to Seoul in the 3 rd grade and he was constantly picked on because he is from Australia and didnt speak fluent Korean. Once he was fluent people started making shit up about him and he didnt deserve it. The worst thing that ive heard being said to him was that he was going to get dropped faster than a hot potato from JYP. He dosent seem like he takes it to heart but as one of his best friends, i can confirm he definitely does. I have a small group of friends, there is Han Jisung, Seo Changbin, and Chan they are also trainees . I am so lucky to have them through everything. While going to practice everyday after school, we made some new friends. Chan found a new family that he could depend on instead of his own fucked up life. Chan met Kim Woojin, Lee Minho, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix who was also Australian, Kim Seungmin, and Yang Jeongin. They are all so sweet, they have been to hell and back with their own experiences. Woojin was a year older than Chan, Jisung, Changbin, and I.

Woojin had pupes man, this boy could belt some notes, he is a giant teddy bear. I remember once i was sad because my boyfriend had broken uo with me and told me horrible thing. I hurt myself and it sure as hell scarred but when woojin saw the scars he hugged me tight and made me promise i would never do that again, i agreed because i was extremely ashamed of myself for letting a boy push me that far. Woojin is an all around great guy.

Minho was a Mean Hoe. He only teased me and his fellow trainees because he cared about us. He used to be a back up dancer for the imfamous boyband Bangtan Sonyeondan. Minho aasnt ashamed to have danced for them but it did cause some self doubt issues when he became a JYP trainee. He was convinced he was too fat or not strong enough, when in reality he couldnt come to realize that one day he would rise to Bts's level. He was always there for everyone especially Jisung, He had grown VERY close to Jisung.

Hyunjin is an amazing little soft person. He and Jisung shared the same voices, no, not schizophrenic voices. The voices that told them they werent good enough to be a JYP trainee, these voiced told them to do horrible things to them selves. Hyunjin has the scars on his thighs to show. He never wanted to do it but the voices overwhelemed him one night and found himself in a bathtub of cold water. Long, deep, thin lines that covered his thighs.

Felix is another Aussie boy, him and Chan both born in Sydney. Felix was teased back home for wanting to be an Idol. He was told to kill himslef and that he would never be good. Felix had friends back home, not all of them true but when he was only 15 he moved to Seoul and started learning Korean to become a successful idol. He grew to some what love himself when he met the boys. He truly loved them. Especially Changbin

Kim Seungmin had never been bullied but he was abused. He lives with his Meth head aunt, and dont get me wrong all the boys do very much worry bout how permanent the roof over his head was. Seungmin did his best not to ask for much because his aunt thought she gave him the world. Where in reality he only had a bed, a blanket, and a phone he bought and payed for himself. He was very greatful for what he had and tried his very bets to stay on his aunts good side, most of the time he was but i prefer not to talk about the bad times.

Jeongin was the baby of the group. He had a great life, or as far as i know. He hasnt really opened up with me yet but i dont want to force him into something he isnt comfortable with.

Well now that you do know who the boys and how they came to be who they aee today lets continue...

It was lunch period and Chan, Jisung, and Changbin ran off without me. I was angry but not to mad they were probally writing new music for the group. I decided to listen to my music and write a poem. I got situated at our usual lunch table and pulled out my notebook. I grabbed my phone and my ear buds and started playing Day6, I turned the volume all the way up to drown out any noise from the rest of the cafeteria. I wrote to my hearts content. Poetry was my way of letting out any sadness or anger. The notebook was yanked away and my head shot up to see, Im Sarang. She hated me for no reason. I jumped up and tried to grab the book from her well manicured hands, but it didnt help that i am only 4'9 and she is 5'11 plus the 4 inch heels she was wearing, in all imagine a 4 foot 9 girl dressed in dark colors jumping 2 inches off the ground reaching for a notebook being held by a giant. Sarang prefered to be called Sara. Sara was popular but she was NOT pretty. She looked like Filipino man in a messy blonde wig, with fucked up eye liner and a pale pink off the shoulder top ( i think certain people get that refrence). Sara slapped me down to the ground and thats when, I lost it. I didnt hit her back but I did stay on the floor teary eyed as sara read out the poem i was writing to the entire cafeteria.

"I’ve been thinking ‘bout my life

Is it better if I die

Before I fall asleep forever

I'm trying to find feeling within this nothingness

I’ve been thinking ‘bout my life

Is it better if I die

Before I fall asleep forever

I'm trying to find feeling within this nothingness"

Sara looked at me a laughed. She gave me a look pure disgust and hatred, thats when I had enoungh. I sat up and snatched the notebook from her hands and grabbed my bag and ran out of Cafeteria. I was running down the hall way when i collided with a man. I fell hard on my butt, i felt my head slam against the hard tile floor. I let out a final sob before the man came to my side, my vision cleared after all the tears had left my eyes. Park Jaehyung. He was the guitarist of the Band Day6. They had already debuted but he was still needing to go to school.

"Oh my gosh! Im so sorry!" He said very apologetically. He reached for my hands to help me up. I sniffed and looked him in the eyes and started crying again.

"Yo hey ey, whats wrong?"

"Sara, she makes my life a living hell when all i want is to be left the hell alone when it comes to my inner thoughts!"

"Ugh . . . Sara is my Best friend Byron's sister. If you think she is bad to you, she calls me OPPAR. Me and the rest of my band. She is so annoying. Dont let her get to you. She is just jealous because all the actually hot guys swoon over you instead of her." What Jae had said made sense but im not pretty.

"Shut up, im not pretty. " you managed to say.

"Youre damn right. Youre gorgeous." He said while taking your hand in his. He starred deep into my eyes and kissed me. And wow. Was he some kisser? I didnt feel awkward and stiff, i felt sparks.

His lips pressed against mine was the best feeling in the world. Our lips mold together and I feel his hand slip to my hip and pull me closer. I wrap my hand around his neck and pull him into me. He pulls away and rests his forehead on mine and i feel great. I hear a throat clear from beside me, and i look over to see Chan dressed nicely with Changbin and Jisung on both side of him. They are holding what seemed like a million lavender roses. Chan looks at me with hurt and dissapointment in his eyes. He walks up to me and places a small rectangular box in my handm without saying a word he turns around and walks out.

Oh boy what have I gotten myself into...

#bang chan #changbin #han jisung #hwang hyunjin #kim woojin #lee felix #lee minho #park jaehyung #dowoon #day6 #brian kang #stay dont stray #sungjin #stray kids #wonpil #bryronvids #kboo #south korea

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radiohorizon · 7 years

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5 million years later...

1.Who was the last person you held hands with? Romantically, Emily. Friendwise, Arin or Annabelle i cant remember  2. Are you outgoing or shy? Depends on who I’m around. If I’m comfortable in the situation, I’m outgoing but if I’m not im the shyest person ever  3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My baby cousin whos like 3 weeks old😍  4. Are you easy to get along with? Extremely  5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Uh i hope so? Idk I’ve never been in the situation  6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Kind, sarcastic assholes, who have my weird ass sense of humor and adore animals  7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I have no idea🤷🏼‍♀️  8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? My best friend. He’s going through a really hard time and I don’t know how to help him feel better  9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends on the context and people I’m having the conversation with  10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Bea. She always lets me vent tf out and always gives the greatest advice, even if I don’t wanna hear it  11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Sorry bud😉”  12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Missing Teeth- Vanity Theft Smokestacks- Layla Open Hands- Ingrid Michaelson Saturn- Sleeping At Last Castle- Halsey  13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yesssss😍  14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Absofreakinglutely  15. What good thing happened this summer? Vacation with Katie and Kristy; met Bea  16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I mean probably. We kissed and it didn’t mean anything, it was more for fun than anything else  17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Heck yeah. Lightyears of planets and other galaxies? No way we’re here alone  18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yeah kinda. We aren’t that close and I don’t really care to be lmao  19. Do you like bubble baths? Love them😍  20. Do you like your neighbors? For the most part yes.  21. What are you bad habits? Picking at the skin around my nails and biting my cheek with im anxious or bored; not letting go; trusting easily; eating too much; not taking care of myself; selfharm  22. Where would you like to travel? Across the country; the dead sea; egypt; hawaii; Cancun; Australia; basically anywhere  23. Do you have trust issues? Horrible trust issues  24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Seeing my cat  25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Honestly i dont know. I have issues with my stomach, back, butt, boobs, thighs, calves, wrists, arms, fingers, ankles, face, chest. Basically anywhere there is fat and/or acne and/or stretch marks and/or scars  26. What do you do when you wake up? Go on my phone, brush my hair, brush my teeth and then whatever comes next  27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Darker. I’m pale as shit  28. Who are you most comfortable around? Probably Bea or Stevie  29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yeah, 1. And then she continued to ignore me and treat me like shit so🤷🏼‍♀️  30. Do you ever want to get married? Yep! In my back yard with my dad as the dude who marries me and my future wife and gives me away  31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Heck yeah boi  32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Ruby Rose and Mila Kunis  33. Spell your name with your chin. Herg (Beth)  34. Do you play sports? What sports? Dance (10 years), Cheer(2 years) and soccer (maybe 5 years)  35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Without TV hands down  36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeppers  37. What do you say during awkward silences? “Uhhhhhh” or just laugh awkwardly or “why is it so quiet”  38. Describe your dream girl/guy? 🤷🏼‍♀️ honestly just want someone that’s kind and strong willed and has a big heart and loves cats as much as me. My “type” literally doesn’t exist so  39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Kohls, Ross, HotTopic, Rue 21, Forever 21, Big Lots, Macy’s  40. What do you want to do after high school? College and then Police Academy  41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? 100% but not everyone deserves a 3rd  42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m super upset and probably feel nauseous and shaky and am about to start crying or go into an anxiety attack or something. Or im just tired as fuck  43. Do you smile at strangers? Yeppers  44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Bottom of the ocean  45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Anxiety of failing school  46. What are you paranoid about? Losing the people I love to the same issues I have dealt with  47. Have you ever been high? Yeeep  48. Have you ever been drunk? Noooope  49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not that I can think of?  50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Red  51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes, a lot actually  52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My body  53. Favourite makeup brand? Lorac  54. Favourite store? Ross or Kohls  55. Favourite blog? Humans of New York  56. Favourite colour? Dark Purple  57. Favourite food? Cheeseburger or red peppers  58. Last thing you ate? Ice cream  59. First thing you ate this morning? Toast  60. Ever won a competition? For what? No but I got 2 in gymnastics when i was 8😌  61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nopee  62. Been arrested? For what? Nopee  63. Ever been in love? Yeppers and kinda scared of it happening again🤷🏼‍♀️  64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? First peck kiss was during my choir concert in a literal closet with my then girlfriend with a bunch of my friends circling around us so no one would see First kiss kiss was with my then crush and it was so not expected but super romantic so  65. Are you hungry right now? Not reallg  66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I dont really have tumblr friends that arent my real friends so no?  67. Facebook or Twitter? Tweeter  68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr  69. Are you watching tv right now? Yeah actually lol  70. Names of your bestfriends? Katie, Kristy, Andrew, Elizabeth, Abby, Beatrice, Hailey, Kyle, Annabelle, Tyler  71. Craving something? What? Pink Lemonade  72. What colour are your towels? Multicolors  72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1 but used to sleep with 2  73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yepp. A teddy bear the twins gave me in 1st grade, a puppy from my mom when I was born, a unicorn, a kitty and a Pegasus unicorn kitty named Puck  74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? A shit ton  75. Favourite animal? Monkey or cats  76. What colour is your underwear? Olive green  77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate and vanilla swirl  78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookies and cream  79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Black  80. What colour pants? Black  81. Favourite tv show? NCIS or Criminal Minds or Shameless or the OLD scoobydoo, none of that new bullshit  82. Favourite movie? Chitty chitty band bang  83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean girls  84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean girls  85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Gretchen  86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Crush  87. First person you talked to today? Bea  88. Last person you talked to today? Lacey  89. Name a person you hate? No one  90. Name a person you love? My momma  91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? #fucktrump and this bitch at school but not gonna cause it aint worth it  92. In a fight with someone? Nope  93. How many sweatpants do you have? Like 3  94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? About 3 that i wear, but a lot that dont fit me anymore  95. Last movie you watched? The Remains  96. Favourite actress? Jennifer Lawrence  97. Favourite actor? Josh Hucherson or Gerard Butler  98. Do you tan a lot? Not at all. Only burn so theres no point  99. Have any pets? 2 cats and 1 puppy  100. How are you feeling? Tired, alone, but a little happier  101. Do you type fast? Ye but im shit at it  102. Do you regret anything from your past? Certain things with my ex, and not starting cheer sooner but other than that no  103. Can you spell well? HA no  104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes, a few people  105. Ever been to a bonfire party? No but i wish):  106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Not that i know or  107. Have you ever been on a horse? Mhm  108. What should you be doing? Sleeping  109. Is something irritating you right now? My wrist hurts like a bitch and this person is ignoring me like i never existed so there’s that  110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yepp  111. Do you have trust issues? Lol yes  112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Abby  113. What was your childhood nickname? Beth  114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yeah  115. Do you play the Wii? Not really  116. Are you listening to music right now? No  117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Ew no  118. Do you like Chinese food? Heck yeaaah😍  119. Favourite book? Yo this is impossible to answer  120. Are you afraid of the dark? Yeah fuck that shit but also cant sleep unless its completely dark??  121. Are you mean? No i dont think so  122. Is cheating ever okay? Nope  123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Lol no  124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Sorta kinda  125. Do you believe in true love? Yes  126. Are you currently bored? Yeeeep  127. What makes you happy? Little random things. Finding a good book, getting a compliment, shaving, random presents even if it seems little or insignificant, seeing my parents together  128. Would you change your name? No. Ive grown to love and cherish it  129. What your zodiac sign? Pisces  130. Do you like subway? Not really  131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Already been through that🙄 tell them how I feel and respect their feelings  132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Bea  133. Favourite lyrics right now? “Open hands are hard to hold onto anyway”  134. Can you count to one million? No way  135. Dumbest lie you ever told? “No mom i didnt get into your makeup or perfume!” As i had her makeup smeared on my face and i smelled like a brothel  136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Teeny bit open so my cat can get in and out but preferred closed  137. How tall are you? A whopping 5ft 1  138. Curly or Straight hair? On me? Straight/curly/wavy friss mess On others? Dont have a preference  139. Brunette or Blonde? On me? Light brunette, wish i still had blonde hair  140. Summer or Winter? Summer  141. Night or Day? Night  142. Favourite month? Probably may or july or October  143. Are you a vegetarian? No but i respect everyone that is  144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk  145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee  146. Was today a good day? I mean it wasnt bad but nothing made it good so i guess sure?  147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers  148. What’s your favourite quote? Lose the battle win the war  149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes  150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line Theres literally no books around me rn and im sad about it

@lovestream-dreams

#asks

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lordhenry · 5 years

Text

survey 40

What was the last thing you purchased? Yesterday I pre-ordered Hozier’s latest album so I can get exclusive early access to book tix for his European tour this September lol.

How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? One.

Has anybody ever called you a tease? Not necessarily described as such in general, but I have been told that a few times by my boyfriend for acting cheeky in the moment.

What is your significant other’s middle name? He doesn’t have one.

Who were your last 4 missed calls? My boyfriend. All 4 of them.

What colour did you last paint your nails? This sort of... if you were to darken seafoam green?

What were you doing at 4 AM? To be honest, crying. I didn’t know what I was crying for either, but I just all of a sudden cried around 3–4am last night. My boyfriend reassured me that it could just be my hormones but I don’t really know and I don’t understand.

What was the last thing you ate? Ferrero Rocher.

How is your hair done right now? Down and messy.

What do you want? Peace of mind, motivation, inspiration, a breakthrough, a passion, renewed sense of hope. Shall I go on?

How much money did you spend yesterday? £18.something for the Hozier album pre-order.

What brand is your underwear? La Senza and Victoria’s Secret.

What is something you have acquired with age? A healthy amount of independence, with more than a dash of uhm, familial... disconnect lol..

Do people interest you? Yes, when they have something new to offer.

Are you in love right now? I am.

Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: I suppose we have grown apart and will continue to grow apart. Seasons change and so do people. I have to accept it and move on. I have no space in me for sadness. Whatever gives me sadness, I have to ignore. In essence, I will let our friendship go. I think the time has come and you are due to go, and hopefully grow. It’s just not the same anymore and I refuse to be used or engaged with only when it’s convenient for you. I don’t believe it’s friendship when you approach me needing help, but ignore me when you’re fulfilled.

What do you check out first when you check someone out? Their eyes and smile, their energy.

When you looked in the mirror today, what was your first thought? I don’t look half bad.

Would you raise your children like your parents raised you? Not at all. I would involve myself more in their lives. I would push my children to do things that they could be passionate about (art, dance, music, activities, anything of interest, anything!). I would guide them with example, not with empty words. Most of all, I would be there and they would be comfortable to share their feelings with me.

What does your middle name mean? Month of flowers, and spring. Also just because I was born on it.

Will you be over 21 in 3 years? Yes, good Lord. I hate to think of it.

What is your favourite perfume/candle fragrance? I love perfume and I have so much that I love. But I like to think of Byredo’s Gypsy Water as the one perfume that I would never get tired of wearing. As for candle fragrance, it varies a lot. The last one I really loved was Autumn Glow by Yankee Candle.

Do you blush easily? When something I find embarrassing/I’m shy of happens without warning. Or when my boyfriend does something that makes me blush, he’s good at it.

Are you an artist/writer? I write poetry from time to time, I am not prolific enough or confident enough to call myself a writer.

Do you play an instrument? Guitar.

Do you like to dance? I am an awful dancer. I only dance in clubs when I’m drunk. Otherwise, I don’t even have the confidence to. When I was young, I was definitely interested in being a ballerina, but it was never something that actually materialised or my parents supported. Fast forward to 20 years later, I enjoy watching Sergei Polunin leaping instead of doing the leaping myself.

What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? Some sort of fiery, passionate, inane urge to create.

Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? It’s not difficult when you’re already in love. I’m currently in a long distance relationship but it was one that was built in real-life before it became online due to the distance that separated us. To me, whether near or far, if i’ve got feelings, I’ve got feelings. Staying committed and loyal comes naturally to me. If you’ve got me, you’ve got me for good. If you don’t, you really don’t.

Do you have any stickers on your laptop? I have a glossier sticker on my MacBook air because I got it from a purchase and I thought it was pretty.

Is there someone who seems to only reach out to you when they want something from you? Yes! Frustrates me so much. An old best friend from when I was like, 5. It seems this person only talks to me when they need my advice on something. It’s nice that they trust me and they value my opinion, but I don’t want to be anybody’s therapist. She only shows up when she needs me. It’s unfair so I’ve decided to let her go and let the friendship go quietly and without drama. If you’re not there for good and bad times, I don’t have the energy to talk to you.

What is something you can only understand if you’ve experienced it first hand? The feeling of losing someone important/beloved, and emptiness.

In terms of a wedding, put these things in order from what would be MOST important to be perfect, to LEAST important… Engagement ring, dress, hair, venue, ceremony, food, pictures, decorations, honeymoon. To me, the wedding itself is hugely unimportant and at times can be terribly impractical and a waste of resources. I would much rather spend it on a wonderful honeymoon. I value the relationship and marriage itself more than the wedding and materialistic things that come with it. Although, if money was not a problem, then it would be in this order: honeymoon, engagement ring (I would be wearing it for a long time!), pictures for memories, ceremony, decoration, venue, dress, hair, food (I feel like this would be the least of concerns, we eat food regardless anyway).

Is there a quote that’s helped you through hard times or really stuck with you? What is it? In the Iliad, when Odysseus was alone and on enemy territory: “Be strong, saith my heart; I am a soldier; I have seen worse sights than this.”

What’s something practical and useful “real world” things that should be taught in high school aside from the basics like English, math, science, etc.? Employment related things. Practical things like mortgages. Those kind of “real world” things that I realised upon graduating from university that I barely knew about.

What perfume of yours does your SO love on you? I’m pretty sure he used to love it the most when i would wear my White Musk (Body Shop) perfume which is actually probably the cheapest perfume I own. On the high end side, he likes Gypsy Water (Byredo) too!

Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? If I like the cologne, why not. I’m a sucker for that one Tom Ford cologne that I like haha. If not, I usually like when my boyfriend uses his aftershave because I think it smells really good and I always end up kissing his face a lot when he puts it on. Later on, he admitted that he was only using it because he figured out that I loved it and in truth it actually stung his face to use it, oops.

What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? I never really wanted children, but then again I have never fallen in love before. In fact, I actually usually dislike and get irritated by kids. But now that I’m with someone I love, I feel like it’s one of those things that I would love to do just because I would love to create a human being with the person I love the most. It would be the most precious thing I would ever be capable of doing. That’s really something. When we do decide to have one, I would make it right by him/her.

What would your reaction be if your SO wanted the opposite type of wedding than you did? A big and crucial part of successful relationships I think is compromise.

What kind if body type do you find attractive and unattractive (for your preferred sex)? I personally would feel attracted to someone who looks healthy. It’s not necessarily ripped or jacked or whatever, but just not unhealthily fat and unhealthily thin. All of it has to do with just staying healthy and balanced, good health.

How do you feel about strangers approaching you with compliments? It all depends on the approach. A compliment can be jarring if it’s delivered wrong i.e. in a creepy way. That would barely be a compliment to me, but more like a suggestive and creepy remark like cat calling. I wouldn’t find that flattering. A good, harmless compliment like “I love your dress!” is nice to hear. I don’t want a cat-caller whistling.

Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a Strip Club and then doesn’t tell you? I think so. What’s the purpose of going to Strip Clubs but not to look at and fantasise and even receive “services” from other women? I don't think it’s proper especially without consent of the other party, which I will never give. I’m possessive and jealous in my own ways, but I think this one is justified.

Would you be more offended if your man cheated on you with a guy or a girl? Regardless, I would be highly offended and betrayed. Both would be on another level which I would rather not speak about.

#survey #interesting questions finally #sorry to the creators I tend to just collect surveys from other posts and then kind of tie them all together and discard questions

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