#sorry i'm listening to ethel cain i'm just insane rn

[adamanteine]

many thoughts about shams being able to sympathize with her mother but still being angry at her father (and having this one part of her that isn't able to forgive him) despite the fact that she is much closer to her father

#ethnic oldest daughter things! #her relationship with her mother is strained #yes! #but even tho shams feels a very good connection to her father due to the fact that he actually acted like a father #she feels angry at almost everything #at the fact that she lost her wings bc of the feud her father has #which deep down shams can understand is not entirely his fault #but its not something she can control #so even though her and her father spend a lot of time together and she trust him greatly there is still this part of her that cannot do it #100%...... she loves him YES but she is angry with him #i wouldnt say her relationship with him is bad in any way tho just a bit more complicated #and then you have her mother #who never actually acted like a mother #who just did her responsibilities without the actual motherly aspect of caring #who had her life ruined due to the misogyny of their society #and decided to reflect that same misogyny unto shams #(which took shams some time to genuinely be able to get rid off and make a choice for herself) #but she???? understands where her mother is coming from #she's helped so many women in her lifetime that she understands enough of what they go through in a society like theirs #and she knows her father may have been a good father but he was not a good husband #so any time she thinks of her mother its more sadness than anger #bc she wants so bad for them to have a better relationship #but at some points she also had to step back bc of how draining dealing with her is #but she understands in the end!!! where her mother is coming from #sorry i'm listening to ethel cain i'm just insane rn #&̲. ¹ out of character.

[wrecking]

october! slowly getting better about listening to new music, and i think it shows! open for names :)

going to put little explanations by each one cuz i don't have any predictions for november this time!

lorde - pure heroine : this one's just kinda snuck up on me, i've been revisiting where i was in 2017 a lot as of late and this album was like Integral to me then. it's still flawless btw top 3 of all time

cafune - love songs for the end : i just am a weirdly big fan of them? literally every song except shadowboxing has been a Thing for me at some point. currently it's dead 2 me (so naive)

the volunteers - the volunteers : just a really fun rock record?? reminds me of wolf alice which i LOVE blue weekend

jessica lea mayfield - make my head sing : my random country/grunge sneak, she's been a super obscure fave of mine for many years and this album just kinda hit recently with the whole resurgent trauma energy

lucy dacus - home video : to be honest i haven't been STREAMING this that much, but instead i've literally been singing the songs in my day-to-day life. partner in crime, brando, christine, please stay... literally integral to my functioning

ethel cain - preacher's daughter : i took this off rotation for a few months to avoid getting sick of it bc truthfully i could just stream it on loop forever. been really obsessed with thoroughfare and strangers as of late

paramore - re: this is why : remi wolf's version of you first kinda carried, but tbh i've just been enjoying this? i really love the base album, but i also deeply love having the alt versions to diversify the rotation

troye sivan - something to give each other : i'm sorry but he just makes good music. one of your girls & silly go fucking crazy

pretty sick - makes me sick makes me smile : this is just some trashy emo teenager rock thing but it's just kind of a vibe? lilith song has been on my mind forever

vashti bunyan - just another diamond day : i didn't really fall in DEEP love with this in the way others did, and i think she has better albums, but i would be lying if i said i didn't revisit this the most atm. title track and (the not-technically-on-it-but-it-should've-been) train song rattle around my brain constantly

hitsujibungaku - our hope : god this is one of those releases i can't tire of. i'm so excited for their new album... thank you random youtube recommendations for showing me the video to one of the songs by pure chance

big thief - dragon new warm mountain i believe in you : the juggernaut of the chart has returned... i've just been revisiting this a lot and god is it still so exquisite... the only place and dried roses supremacy

the dead texan - the dead texan : i've been meaning to listen to this ambient thing all year and god i'm glad i did. peak vibes

anri - timely!! : i have a couple of like super recurrect city pop releases as this time last year i did a big deep dive into the genre, and this is the one that consistently pops up the most just because it's SO catchy and fun. well worth the hype imo

midori - shinsekai : absolutely batshit jazz and punk fusions, track 3 has the singer making gorilla sounds and i've been obsessed with it ever since. what is up with the one random man ballad in the center tho

yeule - softscars : first time i heard this it floored me so hard i almost cried. i never really clicked with her stuff but this just makes sense to me? it's messy and big and bold and earnest and hurt and it just fits where i am rn

alvvays - blue rev : god the sleeper classic of all time for me. the way i didn't care about it for like several months after hearing it and now it's basically a mainstay. such is the power of putting bored in bristol on your album

otoboke beaver - itekoma hits : this goes hand in hand with shinsekai. just batshit insane fast punk music it's great and fun i love it

shygirl - nymph : tbh this only got a relisten from me bc it's a year after its release, and honestly? well worth it. i didn't really love alias but this has really stuck the landing w me

taylor swift - midnights : ok so i know this is gonna be the like "why is this on here" one but like hear me out. see above that i was revisiting stuff a year after it came out, and also this was like The First Thing Announced When I Got Home. tbh my horrible hot take is that this is kind of a comfort album for me now?? it reminds me of oct '22 when i felt like for once in my fucking life things were gonna be ok. it's not her best but what can you do

olivia rodrigo - guts : this is like a single hair away from fully confirmed as my aoty this year and i hate it bc i look so basic but also consider: it is just that good to me

kero kero bonito - time n place : dear future self and swimming were big moments for me during this time in 2018, and my life is kinda eerily lining up with 2018 again so hearing a song called "dear future self" that reminds me of that time is a lot to process

ariana grande - thank u, next : random ass pick i know, but idk! it's her best, it's very subtly a concept album and it's unironically thematically coherent if you're terminally online enough to read into it thoroughly. also fake smile, bad idea, bloodline, in my head, etc. just slap sorry

pearly drops - a little disaster : thank you kabob for giving me the push to give this a shot. after grimes went full unsupportable, i kinda have been itching to fill the niche she used to fill vocally, and honestly this fits? it's weirdly glacial and funny and deadpan kinda it's fun i like this album a lot

lamp - at komoyo street : i'm sorry but one of the best album covers of all time and the music lives up to the hype

-

ok that's all of them whew jesus christ

next month is relatively light on new releases, so i'll probs just play catchup with all the insane shit i have in my backlog. see you next month!

#d #m #topsters