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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 1 year

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I'm so happy to see you getting active again. Honestly, I thought this account just died 😅😅😅😅😅.

I have fallen in love with your posts, especially those meta analysis about Comte are so on-point. I can't wait to see your reviews about his drama CD.

Also, have you seen Comte’s 6th birthday story? I saw the CG but I dont have the chance to read the story. Is ok if you also give some spoilers about it? 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Glad to be back! Sorry for the scare--life just got ahead of me, and alas my spoons were limited and focused on survival. That being said, I've still been reading/translating his stories, so I have indeed seen Comte's 6th bday story.

I think you've given me a bit too much power 🤣 but I'm happy to gush about Comte anytime. Since I'm going to discuss something that hasn't been released in the English version yet, the deets will be under a cut.

A reminder that I'm not a professional, so this is by no means an infallible translation. I try to convey what I find to the best of my ability, but I'm sure there are nuances I miss.

Where to begin? Honestly this story was A Lot, and arguably among my favorites, but the title of the CG/story is allegedly "Courtship at the Nape of the Neck." Get hyped, y'all--if I understood things correctly, it's exactly as it sounds.

The story begins with MC and Comte on their way to a ball for his birthday, and MC is all like "honey. When I said I wanted this day to be for you. That did not mean. Another dress for me." To which Comte's response is "New phone, who dis."

All jokes aside, MC does feel bad about it but he insists it makes him very happy, so she concedes:

MC: You got me a dress as a gift again…despite the fact that it’s your birthday;;;

I smiled at MC, who seemed to feel bad about it.

Comte: It’s because it’s my birthday that I gave you that dress. It’s my greatest pleasure to gift them to you, and accompany you in it.

I reached out beside me to stroke her hair gently.

Comte: It’s always fun to think about what kind of dress would suit you…And besides, when I see you all dressed up like this, I can’t help but fall in love with you all over again.

MC then mentions that she's made him a gift, and downplays it--likely out of shyness--before handing it over.

It was a handkerchief with a simple yet elegant design, with a name embroidered on it.

Comte: Did you embroider this yourself? How did you prepare such a wonderful thing?

MC: Hehe, I did my best under Sebastian’s guidance.

(To do something this intricate by hand would have taken quite a bit of time…)

Comte: Thank you, MC. I’ll treasure it.

I felt a warmth fill my chest at the sweet gesture, and I dropped a kiss to the handkerchief I received.

Comte: I’d prefer to be kissing you, but I fear if I do I won’t want to get out of the carriage after I start.

So like, yes, take a moment to scream, because wow. First of all, how dare you Abel. Second of all, AAAAAAAAAAA IT'S SO SUBTLE AND SWEET BUT ALSO LOWKEY SULTRY HOW DARE!!! I will have my r e v e n g e--

But also??? Aside from my brainworms, I really do love this part of him. Even though her gift is simple, he really does cherish the effort and dedication she put into making him something. I guess I think about how someone in his position could easily downplay its significance--but he doesn’t. He’s mindful of how her feelings saturate the act, and he honors it openly. And in case you think this is a one-off instance, it really isn’t. In his Anniversary story event, there is a direct emphasis on how he still keeps MC’s wedding gift to him--the preserved flower pins--polished as if they were newly gifted to him, not a speck of dust clouding their surface, lovingly tended.

I think it’s very easy for people to minimize him as unfeeling or haughty the way only very rich people can be, but...the his character construction and the intimate personal details you see if you’re close to him reveal that he doesn’t really fit that stereotype at all. Sure he’s selective about who he shares himself with, but that doesn’t make him fundamentally shallow.

Moving right along, MC gets bashful (and honestly who could blame her idk how she even makes sustained eye contact help) and they arrive at the venue in short order. None of this is especially notable except that it says, when they exit the carriage:

Her small, lovely hand covered the one I gently held out for her to take.

Thanks! I'm devastated!!! You just broke down adoration to its bare essentials!!!! I'm a romantic for one person and one person only, and it's HIM--

Naturally, they enter the ballroom and everyone flocks over to congratulate Comte on his birthday. Gracious and measured as ever, he accepts each one in turn, but MC is silent/stiff for most of it. All of a sudden, MC says she's going to get some fresh air and slips away to the balcony to clear her head. Comte is understandably confused and tries to follow after her, until he's intercepted by another noblewoman.

(What’s the matter…? It’s not like her to leave on her own like that so suddenly.)

When I tried to follow her at once--

Well-dressed noblewoman: Wait, Comte

As soon as I’m stopped by the woman, melodious music swells to fill the hall.

Well-dressed noblewoman: I’d love to spend some time with le Comte tonight. Won’t you share a dance with me?

A woman with a charming smile from the past crossed my mind.

(In the past, when I hadn’t been in love, I would have accepted such an invitation for the sake of simply enjoying the novelty of a single moment; that ephemeral warmth was something I relied on in the endless sea of loneliness that was eternity.)

--But now, I don’t feel that way anymore.

(Because I met MC.)

Comte: I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I’m already accounted for. Have a pleasant rest of the night, young lady.

So after Comte picks the correct answer, he continues on his way to the balcony and finds MC staring up at the sky.

Aight so like. I love when they have a certain writer create these stories, because they literally always make MC the strong and silent (stoic/defensive) type and Comte her little meow meow. It may be specific to me and my tastes but I love it here and I'm never leaving.

Before I add the transcription, I will say that I'm not really sure the "were you crying? did someone bully you?" part was something I fully understood. It appeared to be some kind of idiom/nuance the translator struggled to pick-up on, so I apologize for that. But it is my understanding that he's alluding to MC being picked on/unhappy.

When MC turned around, she had a surprised but also somewhat anxious look on her face.

(If I try to ask her what’s wrong…she’ll say it’s nothing. In that case…)

Comte: Were you crying? Did someone bully you?

MC’s expression relaxed a little at my dramatics.

MC: What are you on about, I wasn’t crying or bullied. But if I was crying…what would you do?

Though she throws the question back at me, I smile in response.

Comte: A gentleman's handkerchief is there to wipe away a lady's tears. I would tend to you with the very handkerchief you gifted me tonight.

MC: Thank you. But, I’m not one to shed tears so easily.

Comte: That’s right, you’re very strong.

The anxiety that clouded her expression earlier has faded away now, and she’s smiling.

I hold my hand out to MC once again…

MC: Yes, with pleasure.

Y'all but the way she claps back, and then he kills with that line about the handkerchief. God damn sir, if nothing else you get full points for incredible verbal repartee. (Lowkey, I’d make out with him for his emotional intelligence alone, don’t look at me.)

Okay but because I can’t help myself. I love how he’s like. I’m No Gentleman, MC. I Am A Liar.

Also Comte: A gEnTlEmAn’S HaNdKeRcHieF iS tHeRe To--

Mfer certainly knows how to lay down the charm when he wants to cheer her up--

After that, it simply says they spend a lovely evening together and then cuts to them relaxing in a hotel near the venue. Cuddled together (GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME), MC eventually speaks up to explain what happened earlier that night.

MC: Hey, Comte��

MC is picking at the hem of her clothes absently when she calls out to me.

Comte: What’s the matter?

I caress her hair to encourage her to continue, and she slowly opens her mouth as if she were choosing her words very carefully.

MC: When I was on the balcony earlier tonight…I wasn’t crying, but I was pretty frustrated with myself. I saw so many beautiful women giving you their congratulations tonight, I can’t help but worry you’ll be snatched away from me…I’m sorry you had to see me like this on your special day…

So, in the immortal words of Beyonce, "What's worse, looking jealous or crazy? Jealous or crazy?" is basically the mood of this whole scene. I'm usually not the territorial type, but I wouldn't even blame MC for getting pissed--nobody likes to see other women ogle/grab at ya mans (especially when ya mans is Comte).

Also beginning to wonder if Comte has a certain interest in MC’s hair 🤔

(I see now, so that’s why)

Comte: MC

After hearing such a cute confession, my fingers moved from her hair to stroke her cheek.

Comte: It’s all right, you have nothing to apologize for. Besides which, I know how you feel--I’ve been jealous/frustrated plenty of times too.

MC: Oh…like when?

Comte: Always/All the time.

MC suddenly looks at me, looking as if she really hadn’t been aware of it.

Okay but when he just gives that flat expression and goes "ALWAYS" without hesitation, I nearly started wheezing with laughter. Petty and glamorous, I love him your honor it's not a phase!!!!

Comte: Today, for instance, that Baron who was in love with you from the moment you stepped into the hall. A young waiter brushed his hand against yours while handing you a champagne glass. Every time I see another man taken with you, my heart is agitated.

(Of course, it’s not limited to just today. It’s been like this ever since I fell in love with you…)

Comte: Rather immature for someone like me, isn’t it?

MC: Comte…

Comte: But now…I’m not the only one who feels that way anymore.

I wrapped my arm around her delicate waist and hugged her close, a sweet scent catching my attention.

Comte: Come, MC.

Just the thought of him seething because some random waiter brushed MC's hand literally just. Sent me. Like straight up astral projection, that is so much I had to stare at the nearest wall to cope. And like I'm not sure if it's the same guy, but I have to wonder if the Baron he's talking about is the one that hit on her in Comte's rt--because if that's the case, that would be hysterically funny. At the same time if it’s literally just some random dude that thought MC was pretty at first sight, that is somehow even funnier. Le Comte de "Peace was never an option" Saint Germain. Monsieur le “Don’t even think about looking at my wife. Walk away.” Comte.

I live for it, I love it, I regret absolutely nothing!!!!

I escort her to bed and sit with MC in my arms. I kissed her soft hair and laid my forehead on hers.

Comte: You belong to me, and I belong to you.

MC: Co--Abel…

She calls my name and settles against my chest, and I’m filled with such affection for her.

Comte: You’re so cute…Telling me all about the frustration and the bullying honestly. You’re so lovely I want to bite you.

"You belong to me, and I belong to you." SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP THAT'S SO ROMANTIC AND TENDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"You're so lovely I want to bite you." Do you promise. I want it in writing. 👁✒️

Then MC, who was silent as if she were thinking about something deeply, looks up--

Comte: …what is it, MC?

She pinches the skin of my neck between her lips and nips at me.

MC: I want to bite you too…I love Abel so much…

She keeps nipping at me, her soft lips nearly ticklish against my skin.

(I can’t believe you’re doing this…) NARUTO VOICE: BELIEVE IT!!!

She bit me lightly, and our eyes met.

MC: Am I the only one…allowed to do this to you?

Comte: Yes, of course…you can…bite me harder

So like. I'm aware I've already had several episodes in the process of recounting this birthday story and I apologize for the moments where I breach containment--But.

Bite.

Me.

Harder.

Wow, thanks, none of my thoughts are holy and I am forever changed. I am not going to heaven, and I'm okay with that. I lived, and that's what matters. BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK--

Also yes MC, girl get it!!! Go MC, go!!!!!! Live your best life!!!!!! Get his ass!!!!!

I leaned back to give her more room and she nodded, digging her blunt little teeth into me. The slightest pain is followed by a feverish arousal that blooms from my chest outward.

(I want to bite you even now, I want to love you forever)

MC: Abel…

She called my name again, as if she could sense the urge rising from deep inside me.

MC: I’m the only one who you will bite one day.

Comte: …Of course

(I only want you)

The reversal/mirroring???? The intimacy????? Comte being blindsided but literally out of his mind in love?????? Help??????? It’s more than I can bear??????

This is especially insane to me on the level of like. The game is pretty clear about how biting your lover (at least for vampires) is a mutually understood sign of courtship. It’s a clear sign of who your lover is. And the fact that MC uses that sign to convey her feelings despite being human????? As the signal that she’s ready to fully be his and wants no one else to be able to interfere with that??????? Long time coming but also BWAH, BWAH BWAH BWAH BWAH

The other part of the end that kills me is that. They make love. With her fully dressed. And sure not necessarily that notable out of context, HOWEVER. BECAUSE I NEED TO DIE ON THIS HILL. What he specifically says is:

I reach to undo her dress--before my hands freeze.

[Comte: It’s always fun to think about what kind of dress would suit you…And besides, when I see you all dressed up like this, I can’t help but fall in love with you all over again.] (He’s remembering what he said before.)

Comte: I’ll make love to you as you are tonight. You’re dressed up to my liking, after all.

For those of you who haven’t seen the CG. MC. Is in a black dress. With sleeves that are see-through. Low cut bust. A long and visible thigh slit. With slight gold accents.

SIR. SHE IS DRESSED. TO YOUR LIKING????????????

At this point I’m convinced Cybird wants me to be in palpitations before the game ends for good. So much for Mr. Prim and Proper, I know you nasty Comte--

The rest of the bits are fairly raunchy so I’ll forgo that (let it be known simply that he is a firm believer in foreplay) but there are a few lines that I want to focus on.

(You haven’t the slightest idea how captivated I am, do you?)

[He asks her to say what he can only hear on his bday, and naturally she says happy bday.]

The heat of where our bodies are connected, her voice crying out for more, my heart and soul are on fire with the twin calls.

Comte: MC…

I kiss her tears away before connecting our lips with a smile…

Comte: I love you, too

(MC, you are the best gift of my life.)

With a feeling that is equal to eternity, I dropped my lips to her delicate neckline and…--

A lot to unpack here, but I will try (and fail) to remain composed as we go through each one.

“MC, you are the best gift of my life.” Like. Sincerely don’t even know how to approach this one. I have no clever witticisms. No trite commentary. Literally it is just beyond touching...[insert your preferred sobbing meme here]. It’s an odd feeling because honestly it doesn’t even feel like a surprise; his actions 100% substantiate what he’s expressed. It feels more like the inevitable culmination of his devotion up to this point. But there’s just something about the way it’s crystallized into that simple but enormous sentiment. That she was something unexpected, but not only welcome--accepted with such gratitude and joy. 11/10 I was not okay when I first read it and I’m not even okay now, every minute is half-catatonic.

And now to the question many of you probably have as you wait for me to address it. Did he..........b i t e bite her? The answer is I have no freakin’ idea. That’s where the story ends, and there’s no itemized specification as to how he bites her. But the phrasing keeps bothering me. If it were just another harmless love bite--as we’ve seen him do before--it’s never prefaced with “a feeling equal to eternity.” That kind of distinction is only made when he’s talking about how he changed the men into turned vampires when he found them.

Additionally, so many of his most recent stories have featured MC as a vampire (AU settings) but also in the most recent Christmas story (in the normal mansion setting), he gets extremely close to biting her for real--the closest I’ve ever seen, up to this point.

Granted all I can really do is speculate, but I will say it feels skewed in the direction of “holy shit he bit her for real, this is not a drill, LET’S GOOOOOOO Y O O O O O O”

I hope this summary was as cathartic for you as it was for me. But yeah!!! This is the vast majority of the contents ✌🏼💛

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp translation #ikevamp meta #ikevamp comte birthday #local comteologist speaks #honestly my life was before and after this event #it wasn't the most intricate one but it gave me Everything I've Ever Wanted #satisfaction factor? Immeasurable #man bite me harder #top ten phrases to make a woman lose her mind folks #I think the only thing I've seen in his stories recently that sent me half as feral #is when he asked her to lick his fangs mid-kiss #like 1. was not expecting that #2. once again none of my thoughts are holy why is that so insanely hot--#like its not even a groundbreaking concept but something about it just made me go crazy go stupid #how can one man be so considerate and affectionate but also just. devastatingly sexy #who gave him the right!!!!!#now if you'll excuse me im going to reread his cinderella collection event story and think about all my feelings #with regards from your favorite jester in love with comte #may you enjoy this rambling overview #and have a lovely rest of your night #not to ruffle any feathers but at this point i dont know how he's fooled so many people into thinking he's the dom/forthright type #(fooled people including me a short time ago)#i am seconds from kabedoning him myself--#also sorry for any weird formatting i swear tumblr was not cooperating (more than usual)

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jaskierx · 5 months

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This is probably gonna be quite incoherent so bear with me lol. I see that your askbox has become a place to rant (and this one isn’t even gonna be about izzy!! But I need to get my thoughts out somewhere!! Sorry in advance!!)

Anyway it’s been a relief to see other people in the fandom whose least favourite episode this season was ep 6. I always felt almost?? Mean for not liking it as much as everyone else seems to?? (and it’s not even that I dislike it!! It’s just my least favourite!) cause I feel like there was just too much going on for a single episode, everything went by too fast.

Anyway this isn’t about that it’s about ep 7 which most people seem to dislike. And I understand where people are coming from when they say that, I didn’t like it very much the first time I saw it! but after rewatching it yesterday for the first time since it aired I actually gained a lot of appreciation for it! I love the start and getting to see Stede and Ed be all domestic together!! (I’m a sucker for that shit) And I actually really love their fight too, just cause it shows us how much Stede understands Ed! He immediately notices that Ed is panicking and he responds so patiently even after being told that Ed thinks their night together was a mistake. Yes they said some hurtful things to each other but somehow I think that’s the least important part of that scene, at least to me. And it annoyed me when people kept painting Stede as the one in the wrong in their fight!! (Imo neither of them were in the wrong but that’s just personal opinion)

Where was I going with this? Basically I feel kinda alone in not liking ep 6 as much as everyone else and I think ep 7 is kinda under appreciated. Ahdgags I hope that made sense I’m terrible at expressing my thoughts towards media.

Screaming in your askbox cause I don’t wanna get too involved in the fandom myself cause it scares me lol. Thanks for posting good takes tho as always :) it helps me feel a little more sane

no i agree, ep6 is definitely one of my least favourite episodes (covered this a bit in my last ask). i didn't HATE it but it seems to do really well in polls about 'which ep is your favourite' and i just. do not vibe with it in the way that a lot of people do

and i agree that ep7 is underrated and i think that's bc it's objectively not a very feelgood episode and even though djenks had confirmed they'd end up together at the end, when it aired i saw loads of people worrying that they wouldn't get a happy ending at the end of s2, which i think has coloured people's perceptions of it

it's not a bad episode. it's a great episode tbh! we get their breakfast in bed (with twine for flourish) and 'hehe we didn't pay' and stede's newfound fame and his earring and zheng being really cool and frenchie and the gang getting their grift on and everybody's new favourite dearly departed side character steak knife (fly high with the angels king)

the argument itself is also really well written and feels so real (which definitely contributes to why so many people felt some kind of way about it) and manages to cover a bunch of irl relationship issues while still feeling right in the context of them being ye olde pirates - it's a beautiful realistic depiction of poor communication between people who love each other but not themselves and it gave me brainworms so i wrote a meta about it

but yeah overall the Main Event in ep7 is stede and ed arguing and ed leaving, so i get why a lot of people dislike it (or at least like it less than the other episodes) given that from ep3 onwards every episode has a big positive edstede moment (mermaid scene in ep3, 'i love everything about you' in ep4, 'you wear fine things well' and their kiss in ep5, being protective of each other and having sex for the first time in ep6, and obvs two beach kisses and 'i love you. i love you' and moving into their inn in ep8) (i nearly cried writing that out if you were wondering whether or not i'm normal about them)

#asks #anon #fuck it i'm gonna start putting these in the main tag bc i am pouring my lil heart out over here #ofmd #lyse.jpg

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helisol · 3 years

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dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now

okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart

so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.

their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.

but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.

it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.

so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.

because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.

this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,,

you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?

dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.

he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi!

he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!

let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second.

Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.

Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.

its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!

its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”

his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.

anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.

with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose.

and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.

I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.

and that man is Odo.

a few things on him:

Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.

like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right?

with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”

but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)

so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.

and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.

In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer. and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.

If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right?

but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!

Imagine you’re Odo.

Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?

But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.

It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.

But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.

He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.

So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.

because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.

If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.

but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.

and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.

and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person.

because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.

but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.

so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me” for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?

but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.

he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!

on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!

so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.

and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.

The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.

We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.

And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo.

Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.

So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.

and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”

this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.

even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.

The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.

like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.

What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?

What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?

What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?

with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.

anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.

#the SOUND of my HEAD hitting my DESK with TERMINAL VELOCITY #quodo #star trek

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