#sophia is so hard to find anything on it makes me explode because she looks so silly

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 141

Last week I posted a day early because vacation was doing vacation things to my sense of time.... This week I forgot to queue the chapter up because Monday was a work holiday, so I forgot today was Tuesday. *insert facepalm here please*

Thanks on this one go largely to @baelpenrose who rightfully pointed out that one part made very little sense to him and therefore was unlikely to make sense to a reader.  The clarification smoothed things out quite a bit, I think.  Just in case, whoever spots the area I’m talking about gets a cookie as soon as travel restrictions lift.

As always, thanks go also to @the-raven-fae, @charlylimph-blog, and @anotherusrname for completing the corners of my support system. And, a super-duper extra-special to @drinksteawithcake! I don’t know if I am allowed to tell everyone why, but you know why you get the extra-special, and I hope you are having fun!

BWAAAAAHP!   BWAAAAAHP!

“Uhhh?” I squinted in complaint as flailing arms clambered over me. One pair snagged me around my waist to drag me from bed before depositing me shakily on my feet. “What are you - ?”

BWAAAAAHP!  BWAAAAAHP!

Any trace of sleep was shoved out of my system, replaced by sizzling alertness when I realized I was hearing ship-wide alarms.  Shoving myself into the first clothing I grabbed, not even bothering with shoes, I was hot on Conor and Maverick’s heels as we raced out of our quarters and into the corridor. We paused only long enough for both men to kiss me and for “I love yous” to be exchanged before they turned and headed toward the areas indicated on their datascreens, while I hauled ass toward the Archives, ducking and twisting to avoid anyone in my path.

“Forty minutes,” Tyche told me crisply as I basically fell through the door, panting. “The Ark could be invaded and the battle over by the time you make it.”

“I ran….huff….the whole….ugh….way….” I managed to gasp out.  Part of me felt like puking, but I was pretty sure the muscles in my abdomen were too busy to figure out the logistics.

Clicking her tongue, she pulled me up from the floor. “Alistair, make a note to suggest to Xio that Sophia’s quarters be relocated once we have a better idea of when we are dropping into real space.”

I nodded numbly. “And probably… amp up… sensors… give… earlier… warning.”

“Nice outfit, by the way,” she laughed quietly as we finally reached the shelter point within the Archives.

Glancing down, I had to suppress a sigh. The first thing I grabbed to dress myself had apparently been a pair of Conor’s boxer shorts and a very filthy t-shirt that I assumed belonged to Maverick, since Conor’s was usually under coveralls. “At least you can’t say I took my time getting dressed.”

Her shaking head was greeted by faces in various states of wakefulness - this had been a drill, and woke nearly the entire Ark during their sleep interval on Delta shift.  But we weren’t out of the woods, yet: the drill didn’t end until all of Xiomara and Evan’s scenarios played out, including the mock combat and various tests of concealment for the other shelters.  As such, Tyche stood guard over the choke-point into this section, while Alistair had stayed behind at the entrance.

Early on, when the drills started, there had been fifty-fifty odds that the mock-invaders would make it this far, but over the past few weeks, that had narrowed to maybe twenty-percent.  It was still too high a chance in my judgement, and Xiomara clearly agreed as she stepped up training schedules and randomized the timing of the drills. 

Taking a swig of water from a stash of bottles, I queued up my datapad and stood next to Tyche, watching the ‘casualties’ from a point where no one could see over my shoulder to avoid panic, which I would have done in a real situation. “They didn’t find mess hall seven this time,” I murmured.

She glanced at my screen. “Acoustics are still too damned high. She must not be simulating for that this go around.”

One of the decoy locations lit up. “Looks like this time it’s heavy on thermal.” The location in question had been equipped with a cooking surface, triggered to activate when the klaxons that had woken me up went off.  Which Xiomara knew, but did not tell the ‘pirates’ for authenticity.

“How did they get past the combatants this time?” She asked, both curious and slightly worried.

Rolling back the sensor data, I watched it carefully. “Looks like these got in during the initial breaches, multiple points. But the line has held since, that’s good.”

Doing another check toward Alistair’s direction, she didn’t seem to see anything concerning. “How many?”

“Four,” I confirmed.  “Sam’s thermal camouflage is working beautifully, though.”  I couldn’t help but grin, and Tyche snorted at the same time. ‘Thermal camouflage’ was a bit of overkill as a name, but it was working well in every round. Potential access points were equipped with fast-acting environmental simulators - originally designed for temporary habitats on inhospitable moons - modified to release atmosphere like a Terran equatorial rainforest within one minute in an enclosed space.  It was a much more simple and elegant solution than any others we had found for giving combatants defending the Ark an advantage - instead of trying to create technology to make them look colder, make the entire area match human heat signatures.  Boom, instantly blinded enemies.

A tense half-hour later, the ‘all clear’ sounded, queueing grumbling from those who had dozed back off as everyone stood to make their ways back to their quarters. I waited with Alistair and Tyche for everyone else to be accounted for on the way out, and the three of us headed back toward our quarters together.  Alistair peeled off first, living closest to the Archives, and no sooner had my sister and I reached my door than the page sounded for the post-drill meeting.  She waved me off as she answered on her databand, and I did the same as I pushed into my quarters and flopped on the couch. “Councillor Sophia Reid, present, audio only,” I answered. “And no jokes, Pranav… I look like I smell awful.”

“Alistair Worthington, present, audio and video. I can confirm that she does, and she does.”

Laughter filled the comms and the rest of the group leaders and Councillors joined the debrief.  Finally, everyone was present and Xiomara called the meeting to order.  First, the leaders of each shelter reported in, as those usually went the fastest. There were a couple malfunctions in the deployment of the shielding to disguise the entrances and hide heat and electrical signatures, but nothing Huynh’s team couldn’t fix.  Tyche and Alistair made the recommendations around earlier detection and the need to move those sheltering in the  Archives closer as we approached time to drop out of relativistic space. 

Once that was out of the way, it was on to the combat and invasion teams. Overall consensus was that Sam’s trick with the portable environments was a rousing success and would be installed at each point determined to be most likely as a breach, with trigger conditions to be determined later. “I hate to say it,” Michael sighed, “but we also need Charly’s team to crank up the scovilles on the arrows and grenades.” His team had played the ‘invaders’ this go around, equipped with sensors and readouts to simulate the effect our defenses would have on the various species who most commonly were found on pirate vessels.  Evan had worked intensely with Pranav and Derek to ensure that the strategies provided by the readouts were modelled after similar strategies based on which ever species each team member was assigned, to ensure we weren’t accidentally drilling against human tactics.

Michael hated it, but he was strict about his team complying nonetheless.

“Seriously?” I squawked, and I wasn’t the only one. “One of those things accidentally went off in my quarters…. Can confirm, they’re pretty potent.”

“They dissipated too fast against my team, and also the contact element left a lot to be desired. Charly, you may want to consider adding a sticking element.”

“Duly noted,” she chimed in with a yawn, her normal pep doused by being woken up and then the drop in adrenaline post-combat.

“What about the sonic weapons?” Xiomara asked, moving the meeting along.

“Still less effective than Nixe is on her own,” a familiar voice I couldn’t put a name to responded with a sheepish tone.  “How hard would it be to train more people to shatter glass with their voice?”

“Incredibly,” Grey stressed. “It takes a very unique combination of training and the right vocal chords.”

“Then we may need to work on adding a projection component.  The sonic devices can match the pitch, but not the actual tone and direction. They’re very effective given time and especially contact, but we need something more immediately disabling.”

Xiomara groaned. “Are we back to Mariah Carey on this one?” Objections exploded until she muted the comms. “It’s that or opera.” Votes started scrolling up the screen, and I could see Xio nod. “Opera it is.  Let’s find a suitable piece and try using more analogue-style speakers.”

“I still say that death metal would work better,” Arthur suggested as soon as the comms were back on.

“Annnnd we already tested it, I will remind you. The volume works, but the pitches aren’t high enough to hit a broad enough population of species sensitive to sound.” After that nearly-obligatory objection, the meeting continued going through reports from each combat team until finally Xiomara announced the end results. “I have to admit, this was one of our best drills yet. Ten percent casualties of the combatants defending the breaches, only two percent among non-combatants, and the invaders were only able to traverse three decks before they were subdued.” She let the cheers go for a couple seconds before getting everyone’s attention again. “Yes, great job on the improvements, but let me remind everyone - those numbers still leave us below threshold for a healthy genetic population. Engineering teams, make the necessary adjustments with whatever resources are necessary. Shelters Three and Seven, you will start training for armed and unarmed combat with Shelter Fourteen and Combat Team Two daily.  Sophia, your team will coordinate schedules. Any questions?”

There were no arguments, not even a groan or mutter as the meeting was dismissed. Before I could even add the new task to my agenda the next day, I received the notification that Alistair had beaten me to the punch.

Glancing at the time, I wanted to hit something.  I had to be back up and at work in four hours, and the realization weighed me down with exhaustion.  The guys had come in and gone to bed while I was in the debrief, and I could already hear synchronized snoring coming from the bedroom.  Rather than risk waking them with my now-frozen feet, I pulled the quilt off the back of my couch and rolled myself into it.  Only minutes later, a heavy weight oozed across my hip and started purring furiously.

“Yeah, buddy. I agree. We need a nap.”

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#the miys #found family #humans are weird #science fiction #aliens #apocalypse #humans are space orcs #humans are space fae #earth is space australia #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #original science fiction #original sci fi #original writing

[twilightknight17]

We’re at the end of the road, folks.

And god damn, I feel so validated by my Sojiro characterization. Wow. Thanks for basically making me canon for ten more seconds, Atlus. XDDD

So when last we left our intrepid heroes, they were laying at the bottom of the Jail of the Abyss, because Ichinose is an asshole. So we had to fight our way back up, carrying Sophia’s unconscious body. Which wasn’t that bad; the Jail isn’t very big. We left Sophia at the door to keep her safe, and then charged back into the hall of the Ark to hack Ichinose’s exploding crystal box thing.

Ichinose doesn’t understand why we came back.

So, yeah. I guess like... bizarro-world Maruki? Maruki wanted to alleviate suffering by granting everyone’s wishes. EMMA’s going to make it so that people can’t wish for anything.

After a kick-ass hacking battle set to the new version of Rivers in the Desert, Ichinose yells at us about our right to judge. Why should humanity keep this painful world, just because WE’RE strong? Just because we’ve never screwed up or suffered?

Which, clearly she has no idea who the fuck she’s talking to.

We’ve worked too hard to listen to that kind of bullshit.

Ichinose proclaims that “humans don’t need hearts” and charges up the laser crystal to blast us again, and Sophia steps in to block the attack. She’s still fighting Ichinose’s control even though Ichinose insists that she’s just a faulty prototype.

Apparently Ichinose created Sophia in the first place because she spent a lifetime being called a heartless doll, so she made an AI to help her learn about the heart.

I think you’re the problem, but not for the reasons everyone else is saying.

But she got angry when Sophia started asking questions of her own and basically tossed her aside, until EMMA found her and dropped her into the Shibuya Jail.

And Sophia, unlike her creator, has learned and grown, and is tired of being given orders. She’s ready to make her own choices.

That is certainly a persona.

I gotta admit, they got me. I was wondering why Sophia didn’t have her arcana yet, but for some reason, I also wasn’t expecting her to get a proper persona. I’m now wondering about the implications of someone being able to code an AI capable of developing a soul that can summon a persona. There’s a zero percent chance that Ichinose had any access to plumes of dusk, which are the reason that Aigis and Labrys gained enough consciousness to have personas. So Sophia is legitimately a miracle piece of technology.

Pandora is an interesting choice, but I dunno if I can articulate that beyond a surface-level, “Oh, because she’s Hope, and Hope was still in the box.”

I swear to god, every major villain in this game is trying to be Goro Akechi. For the last goddamn time, we don’t kill people. Get up, Ichinose. We’re leaving.

Ryuji literally grabs her by the arm and drags her out, because she’s trying to stay behind. Which just confirms for me that if Goro hadn’t put up that bulkhead door, we’d have dragged his stupid ass out of the Ship, too. XD

Back to the real world, and Tokyo is blacking out, and the Tower is losing its shit.

The metaverse is fusing with reality, the Tower is becoming the Tree of Knowledge, and hell yes we are climbing this tower after all!

Morgana points out that this is the same thing that happened last year, and Zenkichi freaks out a little bit.

You’re lucky you moved to Kyoto, sir. You missed quite a bit.

I love these kids, though. They’ve got so much black humor about this whole god thing.

The metaverse encroaching on reality means that everyone has to cram into the bus in their thief gear. Zenkichi, please. Your hat. Sir.

I love climbing this tower. I’ve been here, too! Also they have butter. XD

I was expecting the Mementos version of the lower observation deck, and instead I got some weird amalgam between Mementos and Azathoth’s boss chamber.

We had to fight Metatron as the guardian of the last elevator, which is another parallel to Yaldabaoth’s archangels. And then it’s up to what I guess used to be the high observation deck to fight the big box.

EMMA insists that all humanity wants is to let it give them all the answers, and it throws them into some sort of alternate fog world full of the voices of the public.

The Thieves are all separated, trapped in the fog. Each of them has to find their way out, and they realize that the fog of the Desires is protecting EMMA. EMMA knows exactly how calling cards work, so they won’t work on her. Instead, the Thieves decide that they need to send the calling card to the public, so that they’ll become aware of their desires again and the desires will crystalize.

...oh come on, Atlus. We’re right in the endgame.

One last hacker battle to break into EMMA’s server room in the tower, and Futaba and Ichinose manage to hack EMMA itself to deliver a calling card to everyone at once.

Love you, Zenkichi. We’ve taken out two gods already. We’re good.

Confronting the Ark again reveals a bunch of freaky tentacle arms grabbing the desires, and then the box turns into some sort of massive figure that looks sort of like Yaldabaoth, except less robot and more seraphim. It literally names itself the Demiurge, so I feel like EMMA may be drawing something from the lingering dregs of Yald’s influence? It’s cool.

Clearly no one told you what happened to the last false god that thought it knew what was best for humanity. ;) “Hope binds humanity to misery” is bullshit.

After a... not very difficult first phase, the Demiurge reveals its true form, and we split into three teams to take out its support orbs (modeled after the sephirot) and the main body.

I really liked the setup for the last boss. The teams were the first instance where it was really apparent that the whole team was fighting together. Each of the three battles was happening concurrently, and destroying the orbs has a concrete effect on the main fight. I wish we’d gotten to do things like this more often, especially during the Shadow Thieves fight.

That said, the main body was actually the easiest part of the fight? All the attacks were really telegraphed, and not particularly hard to avoid. Except for the spear jab.

But it finished off with a full-team all-out attack, and that was awesome.

The desires began to return to their owners, and we get to bask in a job well done once again.

Upon returning to the real world, it’s the next morning. Sophia’s happy that she got to be a hero, Zenkichi’s heading off to properly arrest Owada, and the rest of us need to head home, because we were supposed to be home last night. Zenkichi can’t figure out why we consider him a phantom thief, since he “only joined [us] to use [us]”. Which is silly. The Phantom Thieves are built on the bonds of friendship and stalking! It’s too late, Zenkichi. You and Akane have been adopted.

I’m a little disappointed we didn’t get to tell Akane the truth. That would have been great.

Atlus personally reaches out and pats me on the head, because Sojiro has the absolute perfect reaction to his kids coming home after a nationwide manhunt for them.

I feel so valid making him serve Lavenza coffee and be completely nonplussed about a guy marrying Death. I love him. We’re so lucky to have Sojiro. XDDDD

The next day, the kids have a celebration party for their victory, and learn that Akira is going home the next day. This kid needs to catch a break. He can’t even have a few days to relax with his friends. X’‘‘D

Everyone goes to see off Akira, though we detour to Shibuya to meet Ichinose. A news report shows that Owada was successfully arrested, and apparently Ichinose tried to turn herself in to the police, and they didn’t believe a word of it.

This is just highlighting my issues with Maruki. Even if he doesn’t think he did anything wrong to society as a whole, he never apologizes to them for what he put them through. Especially Akira. Ichinose turns around and helps them stop the final boss, and her last scene is her apologizing to the Thieves and trying to make amends for her actions. Maruki’s last scene is... “If things get bad, you can start over like me! Now we’re even!” We are not.

Sophia leaves to help Ichinose learn about the heart, Akira promises to come back for winter break, the Phantom Thieves go their separate ways once again, and the credits roll.

I’m gonna leave my final impressions in a different post, because this one is long enough already. So... look forward to that?

#Li plays P5Scramble #one more post incoming

[formulatrash]

Hi Hazel, how are you? As someone who understands racing much more than I do, can you explain to me why female drivers (like Jamie C, Tati Calderon, Sophia F...) who are getting into the lower formulas, still end up doing poorly? I’m trying to explain to my dad why I am so excited for this new generation, but he shows up with those details and I just don’t know how to answer anything besides “girls should be racing just like boys”. I hope it made sense

Hello,

It’s effectively a numbers game. Lots of talented male racers get to that stage and stall or find they have issues - look at Max Fewtrell, recently or Jack Aitken.

Every girl who gets through is expected to be Ayrton Senna or damn the whole female gender. They’re often older, less experienced (Jamie Chadwick had driven fewer single seater races IN HER LIFE until she took the W Series title than Lando Norris had before he raced in British F3) and frequently fighting for a few opportunities.

Because there is a perception women don’t win, the fees are often higher, which delays a career. Alice Powell is a prime example of this - she took it to Jamie in W Series despite not having driven competitively for years. She was a Formula Renault Champion who got the shittest seat in then-GP3 (her car basically exploded all year) and still managed to score points. But no one counts that.

Yes, we need a female Lewis but that dynamite is hard to find. When the numbers are so low it’s so hard to find someone. When the belief in and opportunities are so rare it’s absurd. 

Lewis said today he raced against 3 women in his career and I can believe him - one of them was his boss’ wife. That’s what needs to change, the basic numbers. We forget how many forgettable (I mean, of course) white men make it to cars.

For a longer thing, I wrote this years ago on the same topic.

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

sprung spring | backseats and phone calls; kyle o’reilly [m]

PROMPTS USED:

Backseat + car + spontaneous sex + desperate + “car sex looks so much easier in the movies.” + revenge on an ex sex + while one is on the phone + “Answer the phone, I dare you.” + “Did you like it?” “Would you judge me if I said I did?”+  Caught off-guard kiss -

NOTES:

So.. This is one that I really, really enjoyed writing because it gave me a chance to kinda play with interruptions / tension levels. I have to give a huuuge hug to @kyleoreillysknee​ for the major inspiration given and the line that I used about marking / “wearing marks with pride”. Naturally, this was going onto the blog when I found it again bc I’m lowkey proud of the way it turned out.

WARNINGS:

uhh.. body fluids, almost having sex in the backseat of a car, slightest hints of dominant!focused Kyle, sex while on the phone, oral sex..

PAIRING:

Kyle O’Reilly x OFC, Sophia

                       KYLE O’REILLY & SOPHIA in

                   BACKSEATS & PHONE CALLS;

One look into those eyes told the tale and all Kyle could do as a result was sigh and pull her close. Normally, she’d keep a little distance but tonight she just went into his arms, her own looping around his neck.

Sophia didn’t even realize she’d actually started to cry until she was; the tears soaking the front of Kyle’s black tee shirt. Look at me, she thought to herself, I’m a pathetic mess. If I keep going, I will lose Kyle too. And almost the instant the thought registered in her mind, it brought forth a slew of others, the most prominent being the realization that losing Kyle in any capacity… It really bothered her. It was upsetting to even consider. Kyle had always been a part of her life, but as she stood there, looking up into those eyes, watching the way that strong jaw set when he realized what had happened… Something was happening and whatever it was had her heart all fluttery and her stomach rolling lazily, almost as if she were nervous.

Or anticipating something.

And the final thing she noticed was that the tension that had been hanging around lately was… So much heavier tonight. She almost couldn’t breathe.

Rather than say anything that might make him angry enough to go find her current boyfriend and explode, Sophia chose to settle against him. Lightly. Almost warily, because she could feel the tension in his body as it pressed against hers.

Kyle let out a ragged breath before he could stop himself and trying to stay as calm as possible, though God knows, he found himself thinking, the next time I get my hands on this Mikey guy, I will wreck him how dare he keep hurting her like he does, he found himself staring down at Sophia, his hands loosely gripping at her waist only to wind up raising one as soon as he saw more tears threatening to fall, his thumb rolling easily over soft skin as he caught the tear mid track. “C’mon, Sophia… Don’t cry so hard. You know what’ll happen.” he kept staring at her until she was pressing against him all over again, her face buried in his t shirt and his nose buried in the crown of her hair. His hands lowered down to her waist again, fingertips digging in carefully as he fought his quick temper and the urge to go find Mikey and kick the fucking shit out of him once and for all.

“Just sucks.. Tired of not bein’ enough.” she muttered the words softly against his chest and Kyle heard them. He couldn’t keep fighting this, whatever he’d been feeling for Sophia. He’d spent years literally trying to deny and bury it deep down, but hearing her say that just caught him in a weak moment.

Every moment with her is a weak one, O’Reilly, face it. You love her. Always have. The thought was there and gnawing at him.

He sighed against the crown of her hair and a hand ghosted up from where it rested on her waist, curling beneath her chin and forcing her to look up at him despite the fact that he hated seeing her cry. He barely held back the quiet growl of frustration over it and then he sighed, shaking his head. “You’re more than enough, babe.”

Every last ounce of fight it off that Kyle O’Reilly possessed turned into fuck fighting it anymore and he had Sophia backed against a cold brick wall, pressing into her, leaning down ever so slightly, his lips inching dangerously towards hers, his repeat of what he’d said seconds before almost a snarl as his fingertips dug into her sides and he tried to fight the surge of anger he felt at Mikey, continuing to make her feel this way time and time again and just the sudden surge of raw passion he felt flooding him that wouldn’t be hidden tonight of all nights as far as Sophia was concerned. His mouth crashed against her mouth and her eyes popped open wide as a quiet gasp leaked slowly from her lips, only to be quickly captured and swallowed by his own.

Sophia’s hands were resting palm down against his shirt, but as soon as it seemed to sink in what was happening, her fingers tangled in the fabric and her other hand raised, dragging through his hair, tangling in the curls at the nape of his neck, clinging to his taller frame as if she were drowning and only he could save her. “Oh.Oh.” she sighed against his mouth as her tongue darted out, tracing his lips, then his teeth, darting between them to tangle with his tongue all over again.

Was this really happening?

It all felt like a dream.

One of her deepest hidden ones, at that. The thought bubbled to the surface just as the kiss broke and Kyle’s hand left her hip to drag slowly through his hair as he let out a long and slow, very shaky breath and just… stared.

Neither of them were really saying anything, both wide eyed and shocked. The ringing of Sophia’s cell phone shattered the heavy silence between them and Sophia glanced down at it, shaking her head sadly. “And there’s the excuse.”

Kyle reached out, pinning her against the wall all over again, his hand going down to her hand, untangling the Galaxy from it, slipping it into the pocket of his leather jacket as he crashed his lips against her mouth all over again, an almost animal groan escaping the second her lips parted and swallowed the sound. The blunt of his teeth scraped and tugged at her lower lip until she felt it swelling at the contact and he breathed out the firm command against her mouth, “Don’t answer it. Fuck him for not treating you like a queen, babe.”

Rather than argue, Sophia nodded, surrendering to another round of intense, groping kisses. When she rubbed against Kyle almost needy, Kyle shivered all over and hauled her up into his arms. “I’m gonna take you home, okay? It’s late and too cold out.”

“Your place… Right?” Sophia purred against his neck. Kyle’s fingers dug into her body just so he didn’t drop her and he coughed to clear his throat, muttering huskily, “If that’s what you want, Sophia.”

“Please? I… I don’t wanna be alone tonight.” Sophia sighed, shaking her head at herself as she started to look down at the ground.

“You weren’t going to be either way.” Kyle answered honestly as he navigated the parking lot, stopping at the passenger side of his SUV to unlock it, opening the door and sitting her into the passenger seat.

The club she’d been waiting on Mikey to show up at was starting to prepare for last call. Clubgoers were making their way past, laughing and talking, stumbling drunkenly towards their cars and it all just fell away as Kyle stepped between Sophia’s legs, leaning in, conquering her mouth in a hungry kiss all over again. The kiss turned into something much more intense.

It all started when Sophia’s hand strayed, lingering with uncertainty at the hem of Kyle’s black tee shirt, fingertips trailing real slow over his abdomen after disappearing beneath. Kyle’s fingers trailed over Sophia’s bare thigh, tracing lazy patterns into her soft skin and raising goosebumps with each and every single little touch.  Her lashes fluttered against his face and he bit back another quiet growl, hands raising, caressing her cheeks as he stared down into her eyes. She wasn’t crying anymore, but her mascara had smeared, making inky tear treks down her cheeks and the more Kyle looked at them, the more he wanted to kick Mikey’s ass.

… Or, you could do what you really want to do… the thought popped in and rather than shove it out, Kyle found himself in a position for once where he couldn’t. She’d kissed him back. She was still kissing him, still touching. Clinging to him. Looking up at him with those big green eyes as if she were entranced. The look in her eyes was what lead to his ultimate and total undoing.

“Fuck. I need you.” Kyle muttered the words against her neck as his mouth broke from her lips and lazily trailed down, teeth nipping here and there, careful, but also careless. He wanted to leave her all marked up. He wanted it known she belonged to someone from here out. Sophia came alive in his arms, rubbing against him, almost desperate for more, to be closer. The little bit of friction she was getting just wasn’t enough. She didn’t care enough to stop what was happening because it was starting to sink in… She’d wanted this to happen.

Probably for a much longer time than she’d ever be able to put to words.

Before she could stop herself or be bothered to show restraint, she was pulling at his shirt, pulling him halfway into the cab of the SUV and he was chuckling, a hand resting palm down on the dash as his other hand continued to squeeze and caress her bare thigh. When she bucked herself against him, rubbing and making sure that body contact between them lingered, Kyle’s hands went straight to her hips and he scooted her towards him in the seat. She rocked against him all over again and gave the soft breathy response against his mouth, “Need you too. Fuck.. Kyle just… Make me forget? Please?”

“Oh, I’m gonna make sure you forget.” Kyle’s eyes locked on Sophia and he licked his lips hungrily, nodding to the backseat of the SUV, his eyes darting back to her as he leaned in and his hands gripped her thighs again, squeezing harder. “Get in the backseat, babe. C’mon. Let me take care of you, hm?” his voice a thick and lazy whisper against her skin as he met her gaze.

Sophia nipped at his lower lip, pulling his mouth down against her own all over again as she muttered quietly, “Fuck me.” and if she didn’t want him so badly, need him so much… She’d almost want to crawl into a hole and die at how pathetic she had to seem to him. She’d definitely be freaking out because this… Crossed so many lines.

She could wind up losing him if this backfired. The thought scared the living hell out of her and gave her pause for just a split second before being shoved out of her head in favor of just… Giving in. Because giving in felt so much fucking better tonight.

She managed to pull herself away from him and in a hurry, bumping her head on the ceiling of the SUV in her haste, she made her way over the console and into the backseat. Once she was settled in, Kyle shut the passenger door in a hurry, opening the back one, climbing into the seat, wasting no time in pulling her into his lap. When they smacked faces as they both went in for a kiss at the same time, Kyle swore quietly, pulling away for a second, wincing through shared laughter. “Are you okay?” Sophia asked, eyeing him in concern. Kyle laughed it off and went in for another kiss while leaning into her so that she had to lay back against the seat, settling himself over her carefully, swearing quietly when his foot immediately butted right up against the door and he saw her head about to hit the armrest on her side of the long bench seat when she slid up just a little more to hopefully give him room.

He took a deep breath, preparing to lean down, his hand against the back of the seat and his other hand gripping the seat beside her head. She hissed and bit her lip with a pained look in her eye and Kyle happened to look down and realize that long red locks were trapped beneath his hand and naturally, he’d accidentally given a hard tug. “Fuck.” he chuckled as he removed his hand and let her move her hair, dipping his head down again, his teeth hooking on her lower lip and tugging as he pulled her into a slow and deep kiss.

“Car sex looks so easy in the movies.” Sophie laughed into the kiss as she rubbed against him and almost kicked the window when trying to wrap her legs around his hips to pull him down on top of her completely. Kyle was taking a few seconds to get himself back under control, to think.

Just as his hand disappeared under the front of her crop top and he was squeezing and kneading her breasts in his hand with her rubbing herself against him harder and with more urgency as she rose up, meeting his lips in a deep and needy, almost bruising kiss, there was a loud knock at the window and the two shared a moment’s panicked look. Whoever knocked must have walked away, because when Kyle rose up, peered through the glass, no one was there. It still only further drove home the point that maybe whatever was going to happen needed to happen behind closed doors. Where he could take his time with her. Show her how good it could be with the right man. A real man.

Kyle leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers. “Maybe that’s a sign we need to move this to my place? If you..” before he could finish or ask, Sophia’s fingertip was pressing against his lips, silencing any doubt and the flow of his words as she nodded and leaned up, meeting his mouth, whispering into it, their lips brushing with each word she spoke in response, “God yes. I want to. I meant it, Kyle. I… I want you to make me forget about everything but you.”

Kyle gave a cocky smirk and chuckled quietly, teeth tugging at her lower lip as he mumbled back, “That can definitely be arranged, babe. You know I’m going to take care of you.. Right?” his tone getting firmer as he locked eyes with her, biting his lip, letting his eyes roam over her slowly as they rose to sit up. He leaned in closer, fingertip resting on a kiss-swollen lower lip and asked in that same firm tone, “I asked you a question, babe.”

Sophia swallowed hard, a long sigh leaving her lips accompanied by a whine when just as Kyle’s mouth brushed right against her own as he spoke, he backed up ever so slightly, almost as if he were teasing. When he took that tone with her, she couldn’t help but whimper quietly and try to get her mouth and brain working in tandem again as opposed to working against one another as she stared at him helplessly.

She grazed her teeth softly against his fingertip and he gave a quiet warning growl, brown eyes fixed on her unwavering, waiting on an answer. “You always take care of me, Kyle. Even when maybe I don’t deserve it.” Sophia finally managed to answer, leaning in closer, brushing her lips against his as she answered. The only difference this time was that when she did it and went to back away and tease him back, Kyle’s fingers caught on her chin, cupping and he pulled her mouth right back in hungrily, quiet growls and groans disappearing into the dizzying and bruising kiss he gave.

When it broke, he rested his forehead against hers and muttered lazily, “We need to get going. Before I change my mind and just show you how much I want to take care of you tonight right here and right now. We’ve already almost been interrupted once.” as he slowly backed away, a hand on the door handle, opening it and removing himself from the backseat. Sophia pouted for a second before clumsily making the climb from the backseat to the passenger seat.

The second Kyle was in the driver seat again, his hand was slipping over the console, his fingers dancing lazily over her bare thigh as he muttered to himself about her short little sundresses and how tempting they’d always been. Raising one of her hands to his lips to brush them against her knuckles. Anything he could do to just… Touch… He was going to do it.

Might as well just let it all out, Kyle thought to himself, because if I have my way about things, tonight is going to be the night she finally sees -and feels because God help me, she is going to feel it when I’m done with her, how much I love and care about her.

“Tempting, huh?” Sophia blinked at his words, at the husky and heavy tone in his voice right now that had her clenching her thighs tighter and tighter with each second that passed and at the fact that one look into those deep brown eyes of his was enough to reveal the almost primal desire burning within. She’d never even realized he felt that way, hell… She’d never once thought she might even have half a chance and so she’d settled for just being best friends. Buried her little crush deep down. So deep that until tonight, when he kissed her the way he did, she’d almost successfully forgotten all about it.

But now that he’d kissed her, it was all she could think about again.

At a red light less than a block away from the nightclub, Sophia decided that if he were going to act on it, so was she. She leaned in over the console, nuzzling against his neck, slowly trailing her lips down the side of it. Kyle’s hand tightened on the wheel and on her thigh, fingertips digging deep into soft skin; almost bruising. He cleared his throat and gave a dark chuckle, catching hold of her hand and lowering it to his lap. “Do you feel what you’re doing to me?”

Sophia’s thighs tightened and she gave a quiet whimper, daring to ghost her palm over the bulge strained against his favorite jeans and leaning in, she nipped at his earlobe as she mumbled softly, “Oh.. Mmm..” and giggled when Kyle bucked against her wandering hand, giving her a firm look of warning before leaning in, crashing his mouth against her mouth hungrily and practically growling into another brief and bruising kiss, “You’re in for it now, Sophia.”

“Oh I am, am I?”  Sophia hummed against his mouth, her tongue tangling with his after briefly tracing over his teeth and smiling into the kiss, more than a little smug. This.. Whatever was happening between the two of them right now.

This felt good. This felt right and real.

The light went green and Kyle sped off, only thinking about getting them to his place. He had to have her. He had to make sure that by the end of tonight she knew exactly where she stood in his eyes. Where she’d always stood. Tonight, Kyle O’Reilly fully intended to make her his at last. He’d stop at literally nothing to make sure she knew she was wanted, needed and loved and she always had been; always would be.

Minutes seemed to stretch to hours but finally, after about fifteen, they were pulling to a stop in the parking spot designated for Kyle’s SUV outside of his apartment building and he was killing the engine, reaching out as soon as he heard the soft clink that signified her seat belt was unfastened. He pulled her over the console, helping her into his lap, bucking himself up into her almost as soon as she was settled in his lap. Sophia hissed and moaned, rubbing right against him, her mouth all over his neck until he gripped her jawline and tugged it back up to his own mouth. “Ah ah. My mouth’s up here, babe.” Kyle grunted breathlessly as he broke the kiss to pull away and stare at her, flashing a playful smirk when she whined and pouted at him breaking the kiss.

Sophia grabbed at his jaw, pulling his mouth against her own, her teeth clenching at his lip. “Did I say stop?”

“No, you didn’t.” Kyle muttered, groaning as she started to really press down against the way he strained at his jeans, hips rocking harder and faster. When he felt her soaking through her panties, he let out several shaky breaths and his hands dug into her ass as he rocked himself up into her and nodded to the door that lead to his apartment. “I think, babe..” he practically hummed the words against her neck as he buried his lips there, sucking hard, leaving a mark behind, “We need to move this inside.”

“Y-yeah.” Sophia managed to mumble softly against his neck as her lips danced over his pulse making her giggle as she felt the shiver when it raced through his body. She moaned when he bucked into her harder, his fingertips digging into her ass even deeper. Without another word, Kyle was opening the door to his SUV and stepping out, not even bothering to untangle her from his body. Sophia  clung to him, her legs circling his waist, squeezing to hold herself up. Her back met the door of the apartment with a soft smack and she grimaced against the cold but quickly focused on Kyle… The way his hands were wandering even more; bolder while also managing to dig around and find his apartment key. He kicked the door open with his foot, sitting her down on the sturdy kitchen table as he shed his jacket and dropped his keys on the shelf beside the door. This entire time, the distance between them, the lack of him… Pressing against her, touching her, kissing her.. It had her pouting and watching him intently, biting her lip as she did so. Kyle looked up from taking off his boots and he bit his lip, stepping between her parted legs as he rubbed his chin in thought.

“I believe we were right about…” he leaned in slow; too slow for her liking because she was meeting him eagerly to mutter soft against his mouth, “Yeah?”

“Here.” Kyle’s hand disappeared beneath the hem of her dress and he nipped at any bare skin available to him as his palm cupped her core, rubbing hard, a ragged hiss being swallowed by the meeting of their mouths when he realized just how soaked she was already. “Dripping already, babe? I bet he never did this… Did he?” Kyle’s hand started to rub faster, and as she managed to moan out the word no while rocking her hips against his hand faster in response to each rub, he crashed his mouth against her mouth and promised firmly, “Gonna make you forget everything about him, babe. I promise you that.”

“Kyle, please.. Need you now.” the words left her mouth in a desperate and loud whimper as she tried to rub her entire body against his own, starved for the friction, his touch. His everything, if she had to be totally honest.

Mikey wasn’t affectionate at all for the most part. And he never bothered with all the teasing and marking her up. As long as he got off, Sophia found herself thinking bitterly, he didn’t care how good I felt and god this is so… different. Kyle has barely done anything and all he’d have to do is tell me and I’m pretty sure I’d cum… She’d never seen this side of her best friend before and seeing it now was definitely something to think about. She’d been missing out on all of this and… Settling.

After tonight, Sophia thought to herself as she tugged frantically at Kyle’s tee shirt only to have him lower her hand and give her a scolding look as he slowly shook his head, I am all Kyle’s. I can’t just pretend this didn’t happen -or that I didn’t want it to happen deep down, because I did and I do and I want him.

Her mind kicked into overdrive, her touches got needier, more frantic. Kyle picked up on it and he stopped, tilting her chin, making her look him in the eye. Lust blown green eyes locked on him and she bit her lip, moving herself closer to him as Kyle smirked down at her and allowed it. His fingers brushed aside a drenched cotton barrier before ultimately deciding that barrier was just in his way and tearing them off, tossing them onto the floor and as soon as his fingers drifted lazily over her warmth he bit his lip and eyed her up, leaning into her heavily enough that she was almost laying back on the table. “Fuck.”

The sound of her cell phone ringing nearby didn’t fully register the first two or three times that it did. By the time it started to ring again, Kyle gave it a glare and muttered against her neck while burying his fingers deep into her heat, scissoring and massaging, “Answer the phone.”

Sophia met his firm gaze with a puzzled one of her own. Why the hell did he seem like he was encouraging her to answer a call from Mikey, who from this moment forward, she was referring to as her past? And then, she caught sight of the ambery glow in his eyes as he fixed them up on her. “Sophia.” his tone was firm again. Serious. Like he had something to prove. Like he was about to tease the hell out of her and give her even more to think about.

Kyle licked his lips, sinking down to his knees between her widely parted legs, an almost primal growl against her skin as he kissed up the inside of her thigh and his fingers continued to slowly fuck in and out of her dripping heat. “I said.. Answer the phone. I dare you, Sophia. C’mon.” his mouth migrated higher up her thighs.

For about two minutes, the phone stopped ringing.Sophia let out a ragged breath as his thick tongue worked slowly over her slit, circling her clit and then moving back down slowly, carefully before repeating the entire thing over again and sending shivers through her body. His fingers movements slowed drastically and his tongue ghosted between her folds, teasing at entry. The phone started to ring all over again and Kyle muttered hoarse against her cunt, “Go ahead, babe.. Answer the phone. Answer or I’ll stop.”

Sophia definitely didn’t want him to stop, so she reached out, removing her fingers from the edge of the table where she’d been gripping to do so, fumbling around until she found the damned irritation.

Just as she picked it up, breathless, to hear Mikey swearing on the other end about her not being at her place and demanding to know what was going on, Kyle’s tongue slipped deeper into her core, joining his fingers in their delicious slow and steady torment. “Fuck..”

“Sophia? What the fuck is going on?” Mikey glared at the phone in his hand as he paced the hallway outside Sophia’s apartment. He banged on the door again, but no answer. Surely she’s here, he thought to himself, she always comes straight home.

Kyle’s mouth curved upward in a smirk and he muttered against her pelvic mound, “Go on, babe.. Tell him what’s going on.” as his teeth scraped against her skin, raising goosebumps all over her body and making her moan all over again. Her other hand left the table and tangled in the crown of Kyle’s head, tugging.

“I’m.. Ah, fuck.. Kyle. Mmm..” Sophia whimpered as Kyle’s tongue rolled lazily and he reached up, tilting her hips, rocking them against his mouth, growling at the way her juices dripped just enough to give him a little bit of a taste already.

“What the fuck?” Mikey was angrier now, swearing. “What the fuck are you doing, huh? Is this because I was runnin late?”

Kyle heard the second her soon to be ex started to explode and rant and he chuckled against Sophia’s skin, muttering in a calm and firm tone, “I bet he couldn’t make you come undone like this. I bet he didn’t even try. You wanna let go for me so bad, don’t you? I know you’re close. I can taste you already. Not yet. Not until I tell you so.”  

“Shit.” Sophia was rocking her own hips against Kyle’s mouth now, eagerly, dangerously close to getting off. “Faster, Kyle… Please.” she begged breathlessly and when Kyle happily obliged for a few seconds, she tensed. She could feel her orgasm beginning to grow to an almost dizzying height. Her breath caught in her throat.

“I fuckin knew you and that Kyle guy were closer than friends.” Mikey was beyond livid now, Sophia could hear him punching at the wall in the background. Kyle muttered lazily against her cunt, “Go on, babe. Tell him. Tell him everything.” as his tongue and fingers slowed, allowing her to catch her breath and back away from the orgasm threatening to shatter through at any second. Sophia shivered and whined, trying to rock her hips against his mouth a little more, desperate for friction and she gave this soft little laugh. “I’d say you’re wrong but.. Fuck… Kyle, please… Oh yeah, right there.. Fuck.” she exhaled sharply, continuing to address Mikey, “You’re not wrong. At least Kyle bothers to get me off.”

“Okay, babe… You’ve earned it. You can let go for me now. C’mon.. I’m dying to really taste you. Fuck..” Kyle breathed against her skin, “I am going to enjoy licking you clean.” and Sophia’s orgasm shattered through, the phone in her hand dropping with a noisy thud against the hard wooden tabletop, her other hand tangling in Kyle’s hair even more as she rocked her hips harder and faster against his face at his urging. Kyle’s sloppy lapping sounds were enough to draw a chorus of needy moans from her and as she rode out her orgasm against his willing mouth, Kyle glanced up, watching her come undone the way she was, an almost animalistic growl coming at the sight of her breathless and almost sweating, her teeth clenching at her lip as she gripped at the table and anything else she could get her hands on.

The noise of dial tone had Kyle raising up from between her legs, leaning down to conquer her mouth in a heated kiss, his hands all over her as she went straight for his tee shirt. He lowered her hands, pulling it off for himself, tossing it onto the floor. When she glanced down, he tilted her chin to make her look back up.

“So.fucking. Beautiful.” he deepened the kiss as he tugged down his jeans and underwear, letting them hit the floor, kicking them free at the ankles. He leaned down, scooping her towards him, stepping away from the table and gently tossing her onto his sofa, following her body down, settling above her, positioned between her legs to keep them spread. He gazed down at her, a finger pressed to his lips and this almost wicked gleam in lust darkened brown eyes. “Mine now. All mine.” he growled into her mouth as he leaned down, greedily stealing another deep kiss and making her breath catch as he did so. She clung to his body, rubbing against him as she whimpered and whined and begged aloud for it, the sounds of her begging and their gasping panting breaths filling the room and lingering in the air.

“All yours, Kyle.” Sophia gasped out as she felt his length trailing right up her slit, the tip teasing at entry and she looked up at him, trying to pull him down against her and he obliged. As his cock sank in deeper, he went still, letting her get used to being filled up and stretched out.

“Are you good?” Kyle asked as he finished trailing lazy and slow kisses all over her face and neck before settling his lips against her mouth.

“Kyle, please. Now.” Sophia begged in a whimper, rocking her hips into him, only to pout when Kyle’s hands caught hold of her hips, holding them still. And then he started to fuck into her, slow and deep and hard, the snap of his hips as they connected with her body echoing off the other wise quiet room.

Her head fell back and she met each drive into her cunt with a euphoric thrust of her own hips and Kyle groaned, fingers digging into her hips as he groaned into her skin “You take me so well. Damn. I’m going to fucking love burying my cock deep inside you any time you want me. Fuck. I’m addicted.” and continued to slam into her with slow and deep and steady thrusts.

Sophia gasped as he bottomed out, tilted her hips and started to hit a spot that had her knees trembling and her breath catching in her throat. “Kyle, fuck, baby, please… Don’t stop.” she begged, clinging to his body as another orgasm started to build to an almost dizzying intensity, sending a dull throb racing through her sex because he’d been guiding her close to the edge only to drive her away from it all night.

It didn’t appear to be a pattern changing anytime soon because even now, at the feel of her body tensing and her walls vising his cock, Kyle was slowing to an almost stop, lips dragging over every patch of skin he could get them on, touching her all over, chuckling into her skin as he muttered quietly, “Not yet, babe.”

“Kyle, please… Need.. Fuck.” Sophia moaned against his chest as her nails dug lightly into his back. Kyle groaned, nipping hungrily at her collarbone, the feel of her nails against his skin driving him dangerously close to just pounding her.

“You need what, hm? Use your words. Tell me what you need, babe.” Kyle stared down at her, catching his breath. Words couldn’t even begin to express just how beautiful she was right now, all pinned beneath him, whimpering and moaning and clinging to him. He raised a hand, caressing her cheek and smoothing her hair back out of her eyes, brushing his lips right against her lips as he started all over again, fucking into her slowly. As deep as he could. Making sure she felt every single inch.

Sophia shivered and cried out, trying to speed up the pace. Kyle’s hand lowered, gripping her hips to hold them still. “I told you to use your words. Tell me what you need.”

“You.” Sophia moaned out, adding in a quieter whimper, “Harder and faster.” and Kyle chuckled, deepening the kiss. “See? Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“No.” the word lingered as Kyle started to fuck into her even harder and just a little faster. He trailed his tongue along the outer edge of her ear and mumbled against it, “Tell me something, babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Did he ever… even once… Ask you what you wanted?”

The shake of her head had him shaking his own and parting her lips with his tongue as he asked quietly, “Do you wanna cum? Because I fucking love the way you tighten around my cock, fuck.”

“Please?” Sophia managed to whimper as her lips latched onto his collarbone, sucking, leaving another big mark behind and making Kyle smirk as he stared down at the reddish purple mark on his skin when it formed and her mouth pulled away. “That’s it, babe. Mark me. Let me wear it with pride.”

The marks she left behind on him seemed to be just enough to push him; right over the edge he went, pounding away at her, harder and deeper. He sped up and Sophia’s whimpers and moans shattered the almost silence, making Kyle smirk down at her, nuzzling against her soft skin as he muttered quietly, “C’mon. You know what I want.”

Her orgasm shattered through her and Kyle’s fingers dug into her sides as he fucked her through it, groaning and growling aloud as he felt her absolutely coating him. “So wet. Mmm.” he muttered against her skin, the soft smack of little kisses peppered across it filling the air as she cried out his name. He had to slow down and he almost didn’t in time. Sophia’s legs clenched at his sides and she begged quietly, “Kyle, I want… Mmm.”

“Yeah, babe?” he hummed against her skin, staring at her, waiting on her to finish. “What do you want? Use your words.” he slowed down his thrusts, keeping them deep, bottoming out a time or two and making her whimper as she pulled his mouth against her own to mutter into it quietly, “Wanna feel you.”

“Oh you do, hm?” Kyle muttered, fixing lust blown brown eyes on Sophia as he started to pound away at her a little faster, biting his lip, focused on making sure that she absolutely felt every single inch. And the way she drove him crazy, how much he loved her and how he wanted to be her man. “If that’s what you want.” he breathed out against her mouth, the words swallowed up in a slow and deep and almost bruising needy kiss as she begged again to feel him.

Kyle’s orgasm shattered through him and he dug his fingers into her hips again, rocking them into him harder and faster, growling and groaning her name as he emptied inside her, pulling her into a kiss as he came undone and fucked through his orgasm. “Feels so good. So good.. Sophia.. Mmm.” he muttered as he started to slow down, dance his lips all over her bare skin and finally sank to the couch behind her, pulling her so that she was partially draped over him, his arms going around her and his nose pressing into the crown of her hair as he lie there, holding her. He tilted her chin up and she yawned, raising up to press her lips against his. “Not moving. Couldn’t if I wanted to.” she gave a tender and almost shy smile as he chuckled and asked quietly, “Yeah? Why’s that?”

“That was… Fuck… that was amazing. I’m not used to being this sore.”

“Get used to it.” Kyle muttered, trailing his tongue over her lips as he kissed her again and yawned himself. The sunlight was starting to peek through the living room window and he pressed a kiss against her forehead. “You wanna move this to bed? Maybe we can get some sleep..”

“If you’re carrying me. I truly meant it when I said I could not move, baby.” Sophia flirted, fixing an adoring gaze on Kyle as he rose to sit, pulling her into his lap, then standing, carrying her down the hall wrapped around his body….

#kyle o'reilly fanfiction #kyle o'reilly fanfic #kyle o'reilly fic #kyle o'reilly imagine #kyle o'reilly oneshot #// no one under 18+ #// four seasons of sm*t self challenge #// body fluids tw #// marking #// interruptions and tension for the fuckin win

[amyscascadingtabs]

december, 2014

part two out of six for my christmas fic!

If Amy’d had to take a guess at what is currently going on in the break room judging from the noises coming from it, she’d say a drunken, heated, brawl. A criminal being given a thorough scolding, perhaps, or a one-man competition in who can come up with the most creative curse words. What she most definitely wouldn’t have guessed - or ever believed would be able to produce such an array of discouraged-by-department-policy words - is what she finds; Jake Peralta battling with a roll of shiny wrapping paper.

It's quite amusing, really, seeing him so frazzled by simple craft products and a task so ordinary as gift-wrapping. He can’t have done this a lot before, she deduces from the repeated foul language he’s using, and if he has, it's not done him much good.

She watches him from the door frame for a good minute, an attempt to procrastinate getting her coffee and thereby further procrastinate going through the mind-numbing pile of company reports she’s going through for a case she's almost sure is cold anyway. His eyes are glued to the wrapping paper and box, cutting uneven pieces of paper with a pair of lazy scissors and coming up with all the more unique, distasteful word choices in his mission. A particularly creative string of curse words involving Scully’s butt cheeks and moldy yogurt parfaits is what gets her eventually. Bubbling laughter seeps out of her without control, making him look up at her.

“Amy!” Beads of sweat are pearling on his forehead and he’s somehow messed up his curls more than usual, adding to his appearance of looking like he just got out of a fight. He did, she supposes - a wrapping paper one.

“Need help there, Jake?”

He groans, letting go of the carton he’s trying to wrap and giving her an exhausted grimace. “Is it that obvious? Coffee’s fresh, by the way”, he mutters, gesturing to the pot.

“Thanks. And yes, it is. You’re cursing like a sailor.” She moves to fill her coffee cup and add the milk, sipping the still steaming liquid as she sits down across from him. It burns her tongue, but much like any hard-working detective, she’s grown immune to that pain by now.

“Yeah, well, you got me. The box has defeated me. I mean, how hard could it be?” He throws up his hands in frustration. “They make it look so easy in the movies!”

What he’s working with is some sort of nine-edged uneven plastic box filled to the brim with sour candy and, on top, a giftcard to a restaurant famous for its chicken wings. She recognizes it only because she gave him one to the same place for Secret Santa two years ago.

“Who buys a nine-edged gift box in the first place?”

“It's a realistic christmas tree”, he explains, turning it so she can see the odd shape. “I thought it was funny. Sophia’s going to love it.”

Sophia.

“I’m sure she will”, she tells him quickly, focusing on an abandoned pair of scissors in the knowledge that actually meeting his eyes would make something inside of her explode.

She should have guessed, yet it still feels like another well-aimed punch in the stomach. There’s a hole the size of a pit in her chest and her heart is being sucked in while it remains stinging, and all the while she sits there, clutching the cup in her hands and forcing the smile on her lips to stay there.

He’s been shockingly mature since the reveal at Maple Drip Inn. To her great surprise, he’s resorted to teasing her about possibly having had romantic thoughts about him once or twice no more than a handful of times. There’s only been the particular day where he’s been too lazy to get off his own ass for more coffee or a case file when she’s been in the vicinity and he’s used it to his advantage - a pair of pleading puppy eyes followed by a remark about the importance of helping out the people one has, directly quoted, once held a passionate, undying love for.

(“I’ve never said either of those words”, she wheezes whenever it happens, and then she tells him to go get his case file himself.)

She knows she should be grateful for the maturity and happy they can be courteous and civil with each other, but for some reason it makes it all feel worse. She doesn’t have Teddy anymore, meaning there’s noone there to help her pretend, and Jake is happy. It’s pure-bred irony. Amy doesn’t crush or yearn or pine and she’s definitely never had the odd weird dream about her loyal work partner from which she’s woken up devastated due to its falsity, yet seeing Jake and Sophia together or even hearing about them just won’t stop bringing forth that persistent sting in her chest.

“I really hope she will. Now, if I could just figure out a way to wrap it…”

“I could help you.”

No, screams the irrational part of her brain she fights day and night to ignore. Yes, screams the rational one. Be normal. Make it normal.

“Really? That’d be amazing.” He draws a breath of relief and she has to look up at him, being met by a grateful smile which sends her heart flickering again. It’s a smile, it’s neither special nor unique - even Rosa smiles sometimes, as Amy got picture proof of last year - but his always manages to appear genuine in a way she’s never seen in someone else. He’s goofy, allover immature at times, but at least he doesn't fake it. She tells herself it's the genuinity in the smile that gets her and nothing else.

“Sure. Santiagos are great gift wrappers, this will be done in no time.” She grabs the box, wrapping paper roll, scissors and tape. “It's not that difficult.”

“Speak for yourself.”

She snorts and gets to work on the challenge in front of her. Sure, it's not the most practical of shapes to wrap, but it's far from the insurmountable task Jake was painting it to be.

“For Sophia, huh?”

“What about her?” He’s watching with fascination as she works, unable to tear his eyes away.

“You’re celebrating Christmas together?”

“No, no, she's celebrating with her family. We're exchanging gifts a couple days before.” He fakes a shudder. “Like a serious relationship. Crazy.”

“It’s not that crazy”, she tells both him and herself at the same time. “I think it’s sweet.”

“Yeah”, he threads. “I guess it kind of is.”

It would be so easy for him to joke about her supposingly undying love for him now, trying to make her flustered, but he doesn’t. It’s as if talking about Sophia makes him serious, or at the very least makes him try to be.

Amy swats the thought of is this what he’d be like if we were a thing away. It’s eleven p.m., she’s simply tired and struggling to adjust to single life again. She’s not actually jealous of Sofia or yearning for Jake, no matter how many oddly specific dreams her subconscious throws at her.

“Amy? You listening there?” His hand waves in front of her face.

“Uh-huh? Sorry.”

“I was asking if you’re looking forward to Christmas with your family.”

“Yeah. Yeah… I guess.” She cuts a bit of string and ties a bow around the finished result. “There.”

“Yes! You’re amazing!” He bounces off his seat and before she knows it he’s wrapped her in a tight hug. “You’re my Christmas savior.” “Because I helped you wrap one gift?”

“Saving. Christmas”, he enunciates.

She allows herself to relax in his arms, trying not to think about the comfortable pressure of his arms or how close their heads are to each other.

It's so natural. Too natural, maybe.

“It’s nothing”, she mumbles as he finally lets go. “I’m sorry - I have to get home.”

“Yeah, of course. Merry Christmas, Amy.”

“Merry Christmas, Jake.” Deep breaths. “Tell Sophia I said hi.” There’s that genuine smile again, mending her heart just to break it again, and she leaves before he can say anything.

#my writing #b99 fic #b99 fanfiction #peraltiago fic #jake x amy fic #peraltiago fanfiction #jake x amy fanfiction #HAVE SOME PINING #like.. all of it

[mybukz]

Pride Month Fiction: The Checkered Shirt of Benny Khoo and the Salmon Sampin of Adam Tan by Kok Fuk Hoe

Finally, I got to know Mr Benny. The one Ms Sophia praised over and over during my interview.

It was the first day of school. Teachers and students were coming in and out from the staffroom but I couldn’t be bothered. Things were piling up on my plate. However, I was eager to find out about Mr Benny. Ms Sophia, the human resource manager, had told me about him while explaining my contract—apparently Mr Benny was the only teacher offered a permanent position before the six-month probation. He seemed to possess some supreme teaching methods that wowed his students—he managed to nail a place in this distinguished school in just two months!

This morning I was thrilled—his name plate sat on the table behind mine. I was sure when he came in, he would notice someone new. Even more so when I was sitting right behind him, back to back.

I felt the chair behind me lean against mine. I smiled and got ready to expect some welcome, maybe a grin and motivation. But nothing happened. I stood up and turned around.

“Hi, I am Adam. Nice to know you. I am the new teacher.” I proffered my hand to the back of his head.

He was eating yoghurt and looking at his laptop screen. I reached out for his shoulder. He stiffened, frowned and darted a glance at my hand. He didn’t seem to like talking to me. But darn it, I had expected him to talk to me.

I withdrew my hand; I had been too forward. Then he got up. He went to the fridge and came back with another yoghurt. I stood looking like an idiot.

Then he turned around, looked at me, and shook my hand, limply. “Nice to know you too, and…Welcome to the school.”

I smiled a thanks despite the rudeness. “I teach English as a Second Language for the Year 8 classes. How about you?”

“Year 9. English as a First Language.” Benny remained straight-faced as he stuck one earphone into an ear.

His etiquette fazed me. “Ms Sophia kept mentioning your name during my interview. You must be a very famous teacher.”

“Nah, they’re just exaggerating. You just do what you have to do.”

His replies were short and he didn’t care to talk more. His eyes kept going back to his screen; he wanted to continue watching ice hockey. I quickly ended our conversation and turned back to my desk. I felt cheated by Ms Sophia’s description. This Mr Benny was worse than his yoghurt. At least yoghurt tasted sour— he was just plain cold.

*

It wasn’t hard to glean more about Mr Benny since we worked in the same department and shared the same staffroom. Except for his gravelly Canadian accent (I loved it!), I found out he was just weird.

Benny usually clocked in fifteen minutes later than me. He would have a cup of black coffee—those paper cup instant coffee from 7-Eleven—and some sandwich made of wheat bread. His breakfast routine had to be accompanied by watching his favourite ice hockey show. Finishing his food, he would pump two drops of sanitiser to clean his hand. He never joined anyone for lunch; he brought some delicate-looking meals in a jar, or some steamed corn, or some purplish salad, and of course, there was this cleaning his hand with sanitiser after his meals.

I had never seen him go to a toilet. All he did was teach in the classroom or sit in his cubicle watching ice hockey or sometimes marking exercise books. Mr Benny didn’t talk much to anyone. He would skip reliefs or after-school meetings. And the strangest thing? No one dared talk about this to him. Not even the Head of Secondary.

I couldn’t hide my curiosity about this Chinese Canadian guy. As soon as I adapted to the school, I started asking around about him.

“Why is Benny never joining us for lunch? It is free though.”

“I guess he can’t adapt to Malaysian food. He is an ang mo lah! The foreigners’ stomach can’t hold our curry and spices,” Mr Loke answered. He had straggly hair, taught mathematics.

“But he has been here for seven years and his wife is Malaysian. He should be able to adapt to the food here. It’s not like the school is cooking spicy food all the time. He can eat Chinese food. He is a Chinese after all. Come on,” Mr Goh chimed in, while serving a spoonful of chap chye into his mouth. He was artistic, taught arts and craft.

“He is a C-A-N-A-D-I-A-N, Mr Goh. It is more atas or high-class to be identified that way,” Mr Loke scoffed, failing to hide his sarcasm.

“I guess his wife prepares his food then?”

“Oh yes. His wife worked in this school last time but she resigned after they married. She is a nyonya,” Mr Loke continued to tell me more.

I frowned, I couldn’t understand how Benny’s life worked. “But Peranakan food is made up of tonnes of local spices and is mostly spicy and pungent in smell. So how did he survive the marriage?”

“Adui, Adam, you single people won’t understand this. You will do everything if you are in love. And obviously in his case, his wife loves him more than he does. And come to think of it, it actually saves a lot of time to prep him an overnight oat rather than cooking a decent meal. No one loves cooking these days. Not even my wife,” Mr Goh continued chewing the school food.

Mr Loke ranted, “His wife is the one who chased after him last time. I can’t deny that when I first knew Benny, his Canadian accent really attracted me but well, I am a man. But Jesus, I had no fucking idea that he is so lazy. He skips meetings and events, and he doesn’t even care about his homeroom. Handsome guy is pretty useless, huh?”

“But why the school likes him so much?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he is an ang mo?”

Or maybe it was because of his Canadian accent.

Or maybe Benny looked extremely hot for an Asian: only five feet tall, slim, inimitable foreign accent. God, he looked hot in Doc Martens leather boots. Could Asians carry it off with leather?

Or maybe Benny was hot because he didn’t give a fuck about anything in the school. I guessed you’d look cool when everyone was busy pleasing the students, parents and management and you decided not to follow the trend. Instead you just acted like a real man. And real man takes risks. And Benny was a real man.

Or maybe he fucked Ms Sophia? Was Ms Sophia his wife? Because it would make sense since Ms Sophia was always raving about him being an awesome teacher and whatnot. Or maybe Ms Kelly, our Head of Department. Or Ms Vijay, the Head of Secondary.

I didn’t know the answers.

*

A week before the midterm-cum-Raya holidays, I decided to put on a black baju Melayu. I matched it with a salmon sampin, and completed my look with a songkok. I looked like a real Malay whenever I put on the costumes because of my skin colour.

I am a Chinese as you can tell from my name, Adam Tan. However, my dark skin is not a result of sunburn or sun tan. I inherited this beautiful skin colour from my Chinese and Indonesian Chinese ancestors. We are the Chinese Peranakan, or the baba nyonya, an ethnic group fast disappearing because people no longer cross cultures.

It is confusing and sometimes, shocking, to not know how to respond to an entity that doesn’t truly belong to anyone and anywhere. Just like Benny—he was Chinese Canadian but he didn’t know how to speak Chinese like Mr Loke and Mr Goh. He married a Malaysian but had problems eating Malaysian food. And the most confusing thing was, he spoke good English. Asians don’t speak good English, they say.

Thus, everyone liked to stay the same because it was easier that way. Even in the workplace. Except Benny, of course.

Everyone was at the lounge, laughing, taking pictures and chit-chatting away. There was no food; it was still five days away before our Muslim colleagues stopped observing fasting and celebrated the Raya celebration.

As usual, Benny was never keen to join in the fun. He didn’t care about celebrations. I was surprised he put an appearance now. He had put on his usual checkered shirt—this time, in black and white—and leather boots. I ignored him and turned my back to him.

Someone patted my shoulder. I turned around and was taken aback to find Benny talking to me. To little old Adam.

“Hey Adam, you look exceptionally sharp today.” I was still in shock, I couldn’t process his words suddenly.

“Oh yeah. Thank you. Have you tried wearing such a costume? It is comfortable.” I smiled, awkwardly, like a little child.

“No. I never wore them before.”

“You should try one day. It is—”

“Hey Adam, I need a favour from you.”

I knew it. He was up to no good. He talked to me simply because he needed something.

“How can I help you?” My face had changed from awkward to looking flustered.

He looked hesitant for a moment. “My car broke down this morning and I couldn’t go back today.”

“You want me to send you back?” I was one step close to exploding if the answer was yes.

“No. Can I stay at your place before my wife picks me up this evening? I heard that you are living somewhere around Puchong. I stay in Puchong. You don’t have to send me back.”

My anger diminished. At least he knew it would be a bad idea for me to send him back. He was never part of us, and he never wanted it, I guess.

*

I had just entered my room when Benny knocked on my door.

“Do you need anything? If not, let me change myself before I—”

Benny pressed his lips onto mine. They were soft and moist. I kissed him back, like a hungry beast, devouring his saliva, tongue, and lips. My cock in my pants was filling up with blood.

But I pulled back. “What the fuck is this, Benny?” I was huffing and puffing from the kiss.

“I knew you like me.” The sentence sounded racy in his ang mo accent.

“How did you know?”

“I just know.” He looked down. “Are those stains from your cum? Imagining me fucking you every night?” He sneered. “You do, don’t you?”

Benny hoisted me with strong hands and threw me onto the bed. Why was this happening? But, fuck, was I going to savour this moment. I licked my lips as Benny’s body—and his dick—hunkered over me.

Benny tore at the buttons from his shirt, and hurled his clothes to the floor. This was the first time I saw his body—lean and fit. His nipples were big and dark, and there was hair all the way down from his belly button to the place I wanted to visit the most. Sexy.

He straddled my lithe body, and unravelled my tight sampin. He leaned down and I savoured his kiss, and breathed in his body odour. I wasted no time fumbling at his belt—I wanted to taste his dick.

Soon, my sampin was flung to the floor. And in no time, my baju Melayu, sampin, and undies, along with his shirts and pants, decorated the floor. I felt masculinity suffuse me—the tight stomach squashing me, the hard pecs, the nipples, the big balls. I reached down to grip him—his dick was huge. What a contradiction from his slender body—was that why he attracted us? I was dying to suck his dick, like a hungry baby craving for tits.

I moaned, breathed heavily, my body arched up, twitching—his fingers were caressing my nipples, pulling them, twisting them. I stroked my dick while his thick shaft stayed in my mouth. He thrust his dick against my mouth. When he drew it out, I licked the purplish head. Was I tasting my saliva or his pre-cum? At this rate I didn’t care—my pre-cum had doused my dick, I couldn’t wait to have Benny in me.

Benny flipped me over. He was ready with a condom. He must have come prepared with it in his pants pocket. He rolled it over his cock with skill. (And practice?) He held my legs up in the air. I begged him to shove it in. I needed pounding. Hard.

I moaned louder. I couldn’t stop crying out his name. I had never felt anything this intense. Not since becoming a teacher, a job that drained my energy having to man up all the time in front of the classroom. Now, I wanted to be punished. I wanted to be conquered. My body longed to be controlled and Benny was doing a great job. (I nearly giggled—as good a job as his teaching.)

I moaned every time Benny pounded into me and slapped my butt and uttered nasty words. Slut. Horny dog. Slave, Benny my master. I begged for more. This was my primal self. I needed an alpha male (with a sexy Canadian accent) to take charge, especially in bed. As if agreeing to submit, my dick rose higher, grew harder. Its hole overflowed every time Benny’s gigantic dick locked fiercely and tightly into my asshole. I didn’t mind dying under such circumstances. I was blessed to be pounded by such a huge dick—more so as its owner was skilled.

It seemed surreal when we both reached orgasm together. We huffed and gasped for air, surfacing for consciousness after shooting loads of cum. Benny didn’t pull his dick out; he remained inside, lying on top of me. I hugged and kissed him, feeling his heartbeat synchronising with mine. Between the layer of his sweat and my cum, I knew I wanted him.

“Why this?” I asked. “Why now?”

“You looked sexy in your sampin today. And I just wanted to fuck you. I love exotic creatures.” Benny grinned.

“Wow, I am offended, Benny. My sampin is short because I am single. Those who are married will wear their sampin below the knees. I don’t mean to look sexy.” And with mock offense, “I am not some exotic creature.”

“Well, that’s why I am attracted to you, little Adam. You look cute whenever you are annoyed.”

Benny kissed my lips. I knew we were alike—misfit, eccentric, offbeat. We didn’t really belong anywhere, or maybe the universe had yet to categorise people like us since we could be anything and everything we wanted to be. Benny didn’t give a shit about anything and I too didn’t give a shit about everything.

And this meant one thing: Benny wouldn’t give a shit about our status after this evening.

*

It was the first day of school after the holidays. I arrived at 5.30a.m. as usual, and it was dark.

I walked down the corridor. I saw the staffroom was already lit up. Someone had come in earlier.

I walked towards the staffroom. Two silhouettes were framed behind the glass door. I held my breath and slowed my footsteps. I didn’t want to alert these figures.

I leaned nearer to the door, squinted into the half-lit room. To my horror, I made out Benny humping someone at the lounge.

Damn it, I knew it. He didn’t give a fuck about anything. He would fuck anything. I clenched my fist. Who was that under him?

I couldn’t see; the lounge was not in the light. All I could make out was Benny’s top half.

I stood on tiptoes, and stretched my neck to see if a girl or boy. It was all shadows but I could spy Benny’s dick moving in and out between the legs.

But wait, where were Benny’s legs? He was standing, wasn’t he?

Benny turned around and locked eyes with me. They were dark and hollow. He smirked and the lights went off.

* This is Kok Fuk Hoe’s first attempt at writing erotica. He welcomes any comments from readers. He will answer any questions.

#pride month #LGBTQ #short story #malaysian fiction #malaysian literature #Kok Fuk Hoe #Pride Month Fiction: The Checkered Shirt of Benny Khoo and the Salmon Sampin of Adam Tan

[letsperaltiago]

If you don’t mind, I’ll walk the line |Jake x Amy|

I Love You-prompt request #42: Is this okay? 

Requested by @phxntom-pain! 

Look, I’m a sucker for pining pre-relationship Peraltiago and also new-relatiosnhip Peraltiago, soooo here we go! Hope you like it! 

Also this isn’t proof read yet, so sorry in advance for typos and other mishaps!

Word count: 2.5K

It’s all the little things he has to get used to. All the thoughts, words and gestures he had to hold back before; he’s now actually allowed to put them all into motion. Yet, it’s still new and he still somewhat feels uncertain. Mostly because he finds it hard to know where to start and where to stop. The last thing he wants to do is to cross the line. Amy Santiago is too damn important for that.

They’ve only been dating - considering the evening where they finally said “screw light and breezy” as the actual starting point - for a bit over a week. It’s still brand new. And though Jake absolutely loves it, already considering it the best thing that has ever happened to him, it also manages to keep him on his toes. Not to say that he doesn’t feel comfortable around Amy. On the contrary: he’s sometimes afraid that he feels too comfortable around her. It’s only been a week, right? That exact thought strikes him a lot; more than he’d like it to. Guess Sophia did leave some scarring, though he hated to admit it. The last thing he wanted to was to compare them, but he also knew very well that Amy and Sophia were nothing alike. Yet he couldn’t help but hear Sophia’s haunting words from their last day together, whenever he felt like bursting with love in front of his new girlfriend.

“I just don’t think I accidentally love you back…”

Honestly he hadn’t thought three months with Sophia had been too soon, but her reacting the way she to his three accidental confessions of love did affect him. Jake wasn’t stupid though. He also knew very well, looking past what happened with Sophia, that one week was way too soon for an “I love you”. But man, did he feel like exploding every time Amy was within his sight. A zoo had moved into Jake’s stomach. Exactly, not just butterflies. Amy Santiago made him feel the whole damn Bronx zoo. Today was no exception. Tuesday. 10 days after agreeing to screw ‘light and breezy’. Yes, Jake kept count of the days and if the whole world wouldn’t judge him for it, he’d throw him and Amy a 10 day anniversary-party. Then again, Jake had a filter a knew that he’d have to wait for them to cross the one month-mark. At the very least.

Anyways, it was Tuesday and time for lunch. The squad had decided to get some food from the Chinese take-away place down the street from the precinct. Being the good friend that she is - also in need of fresh air and more steps for her pedometer -  Amy had quickly offered to pick it up and save the delivery expenses.

“The delivery is only a couple of bucks, Santiago. Don’t worry about it,” the sarge had gently brushed off her offer.  

“I want to though. It’s just a few blocks and I could use a brisk walk.” She had already picked up her coat, and put her hair in a signature ponytail in order to keep it intact in case the weather outside was windy. Always prepared Santiago-style.

“Just let her go, Sarge. It’ll make her day,” Rosa added without looking up from where she was currently stirring milk into her fresh cup of coffee. Amy smiled widely at the sound of her friend’s comment, lowkey enjoying the support though she also knew the curly-haired detective’s comment contained a certain amount of mocking.

Enhancing his already huge muscles, their sergeant shrugged in defeat before dealing the number and placing the phone to his ear. He wasn’t getting anywhere with this. “Sure… Go ahead, Santiago.”

“Awesome! See you in a bit,” and with that said, Amy rushed out the break-room and through the busy bullpen before suddenly bumping into a firm chest, as she was too busy wrapping her scarf around her neck.

“Wow there!” The chest uttered.

“Oh, sorry! I wasn’t-“ she looked up to meet a couple of familiar brown eyes. Her before nervous o-shaped lips suddenly transitioned into a calm smile.

“Should I be worried that you’re fleeing the place as soon as I step in? Also… A scarf?” Jake squinted his eyes at his girlfriend’s (his girlfriend!!!) choice of outwear, adding a teasing smile for the sake of it.

He hadn’t expected anything else, so of course he got a pair of rolling eyes back, Those were also attached to a smile, of course. “Mock me if you will, but we’re in October and the weather is unpredictable.”

“Just admit that you’re constantly cold, Santiago.”

This little comment showed that he actually knew her a lot better than most people - including herself - thought and it caused blood a rush of blood to her cheeks. Befor she could even think of objecting, she was nervously tugging a strand of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear. Jake could only stand and look, fighting the urge to pull her in for a kiss right then and there in front of the entire buzzing bullpen. A  cough of his broke the tension, saving them both from further yearning and problems with HR.

“Anyhow… Where are you even going? Isn’t it time for lunch?”

“Oh, I’m going to grab lunch for everyone,” she suddenly remembered how they’d ended up here in the first place, both still standing by the bullpen’s gate. Something immediately clicked in Jake’s brain. Though he’d been outside since the early hours, chasing some idiot perp who thought he could get away with robbing a delhi, he was willing to take another walk if it meant spending time with Amy.

“Care for some good-looking company?”

The fact that this question followed her statement without hesitance only made Amy’s heart pound faster for the man. There was honestly no one else she’d rather spend time with than him, and the fact that he felt that way too was very soothing to Amy. Dating and dealing with anxiety hadn’t always been a easy cocktail to drink, but Jake made it easier. So far so good, right?

“Sure,” she sent him a warm smile, automatically reaching for his hand but soon enough clenching her fist and diverting it. Professionalism was key and they were still very much inside the precinct.

15 minutes later, the two detectives were waiting in line for their order. Apparently, the rest of the precinct and half of Brooklyn had had the same exact  idea for lunch. The Chinese eatery was buzzing like a fairground, and both Jake and Amy could recognise at least a dozen of faces from around the city: colleagues from their own and neighbour precincts, old suspects and other random acquaintances.  

“Damn, what is up with Brooklyn today?” Jake frowned as they got into the back of the line.

“Payday was yesterday,” Amy stated matter of a factly, checking her phone for the order number that the sergeant had texted her.

“Ah, yes. Makes sense, ‘cause there’s no way in hell Anderson from PR can afford both Chinese for lunch and the new Dragon Quest Heroes-game…” After a few seconds of silence that’s when he realised the other detective was no longer looking at her phone, but instead him and this time with a confused frown.

“Okay, I had to drop by PR to see Holt and while I was waiting for him, I got in real deep with Anderson. Don’t judge!”

They took a few steps forward, feeling people joining the line behind them as Amy let him off the hook with a smile and a shake of the head. A comfortable silence between fell over the two, momentarily shielding them from the noise around them. The shorter of the two, whose scarf had blown into a messy ,’hanging on for dear life’-type of positions around her neck, suddenly started fidgeting with the long piece of black material. Still very much caught in this bubble, where only the two of them existed, Jake stared mesmerisingly as the black-haired got her hands all caught up. There was something so stupidly capturing and naturally beautiful about her - even as her eyes shot daggers at her scarf and nose scrunched with displeasure. Small grunts anf sighs escaped her tightly sealed lipped as to keep herself from cursing, which Jake knew she definitely could though she wasn’t proud of it.

Then, without even thinking like it was a deeply rooted instinct within himself, he took a step closer to her and grabbed the two ends of her scarf. She froze at his sudden closeness, just momentarily, before letting go of the tricky ends and tilting her head upwards to look at him. Currently busy fixing her scarf for her, he wasn’t looking directly at her face, but she was definitely looking at him. He could feel it. Right then and there he wished fixing a scarf was harder, just so he had an excuse to stand this close to her for a bit longer, but his hands eventually stopped moving when he realised he’d succeeded the task. No matter how unnatural or weird it might’ve seemed to the bystanders in line, he couldn’t get himself to let go of the fabric around her neck.  So he just stood there, holding onto the two ends with his hands as he finally replaced his vision to look straight back at her.

Like gravity he slowly started to pull her in closer by the scarf, slowly ducking his head to reach her few inches shorter height. Though they were very close by then as Amy just let him use her scarf to draw her in, Jake still had a pretty good sight of her face and he could tell that her eyes were wandering. They weren’t focused, itching for him like his was for her, but looked rather… anxious. This very small act, though probably unconscious on her part, drew him out of the moment and caused him to freeze nose tip to nose tip with his partner. It was all it took to pause his instincts and get him way too deep into his head.

It took him back to a few months prior, when he was with Sophia, and reminded him of how any kind of PDA was a no-no with her. He somewhat understood and agreed, since they professionally speak were enemies, but it still hurt. Every time he wanted to kiss her or even just grab her hand at or anywhere near the courthouse or her office, he’d have to stop himself. He couldn’t help but consider that maybe he was just the one who was a bit too all over the place with his feelings, and women actually didn’t like this kind of stuff. Maybe it was just better to keep feelings and the public space as separate things. Amy wasn’t his object to prance around with, even if he simply did it out of care and envy. It was not like actually cared whether or not people saw them. Sometimes he just craved her attention; her touch - just to make sure that she was indeed real and no longer a dream,

He swallowed, silently but prominently, as if to prepare himself for a crash and burn. Their noses were still pressed against one another; his hands were still keeping her close by the scarf and her eyes were still wandering around his face.

“Is this… okay?” She couldn’t help but notice how his breath hitched as he said it.

A huge frown immediately crept onto her beautiful face and it felt like a kick to the gut. “What do you mean?”

“This.” He pulled back, causing bridge of her nose suddenly feeling empty, to look into her eyes with grave sincerity which honestly almost scared Amy a bit. “Like, I know we’re out in public, but I wasn’t thinking straight and I just-” he took another deep breath, having run out of air. “I think I just, even unconsciously, want to like… Hold you and hug you and kiss you all the time. But I know it’s also kinda inappropriate-“

“Peralta. Shut up,” she giggled amusingly, shaking her head at him as she grabbed the sides of his open leather jacket to pull him into a kiss. Keeping in mind that they were in the midst of a few dozens of people, Amy allowed her lips to gently dance across his, letting him know that they were more than okay. Unable to grab her scarf, since her hands were in the way, he quickly found an alternative in putting his hands on her hips to pull her in close. The kiss had an entire firework factory explode in his stomach, still not understanding both why he had the coolest girlfriend or how she was actually her girlfriend. Though still pressed against hers, his lips spread into a wide grin and he could feel hers smile back; which without a doubt was the best feeling in the entire world. No doubt. So into it that the world disappeared, he barely notice her lips leaving his, when she slightly drew her head back to look him in the eyes.

“I know us being colleagues is a matter that we need to be careful about, but when we’re not back at the precinct or out on duty, then don’t…” She paused, running her tongue across her upper lip in thought and almost killing Jake, before continuing. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just me, okay?” Her right hand let go of the zipper on his jacket, only to slide up his collarbone, neck and ending on his cheek. She smiled and immediately reassured him. “Do whatever you’d done with any other girlfriend. Grab my hand, play with my hair, kiss me in line for Chinese take away in front of random people… It’s okay.”

A heavy, calm sigh escaped his body. “I just didn’t want to do it, just because I’m such a damn smitten fool, if you felt weird about it. I guess I’m still high on this whole us-thing.”

“You think I’m not? God, Jake. The only reason why I rarely do anything PDA-ish or sometimes look nervous when you initiate some is because… I can’t believe it’s you, you know? I can’t believe that I can do all these stupid, cute things to you without it being weird or wrong. And I can’t believe that I’m the girl that you can do all these stupid, cute things to. Doesn’t mean it’s not okay… Okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled, feeling like a heavy burden was lifted from his shoulders. The line moved, so they eventually had to let go of each other and go along with it. She felt him grab her hand, intertwining their fingers and couldn’t help but smile to herself. It’s stupid how such a small gesture could make her feel so giddy. Next thing she knew, he ducked his head to reach her ear’s level.

“Expect a lot of me smacking your butt and calling you sickly cute names from now on, Santiago. This is boyfriend-Jake and you’re getting the full experience from now on.”

“Jake…”

#I love you x Peraltiago #Jake x Amy #Peraltiago #Jake and Amy #Brooklyn Nine nine #Brooklyn 99 #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Prompt

[hbwbyniall]

“I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”

“I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”

Niall rollshis eyes but Harry can see it. It’s not like he’s hiding his displeasure forthis situation, Harry or anything related to this wedding. And Harry ispatient, he has to be, it’s his job after all. He has dealt with these kind ofpeople enough times before to know how to make them participate, but Niall’scynicism is really getting on his nerves.

Harry hasworked with frat-boys as the best mans that seem to find everything to be ajoke, but after some chats alone, they would break in tears telling him howmuch they love their friend and how proud they are of them. He has deal withbridesmaid’s in love with the groom and has stopped disasters more times thathe can count, he’s had alcoholic fathers, long-lost relatives, wedding crashersand even animals in the equations, but conversations are not working with Niall.He barely listens to him but nods at the right times to pretend to be payingattention. It’s exasperating, almost like he’s trying to sabotage this wedding.

He playsaround, never listens to Harry and eats the testing food but gives zero reviewsabout it. He even finished all the glasses of wine before Eleanor could evenget to the venue the first couple of weeks of the wedding planning. But then,there are other times when Harry finds him sitting alone, looking at the wall,absorbed in his own mind until he would heard Harry walk in and proceed to makefun of his shoes or shirts even if he has the exact items according to thephotos Louis gave to him for the wedding album.

And it’sfrustrating because the first time Harry saw him, he took his breath away withthat strong chin and those beautiful blue eyes, especially with that wide smilewhen he kissed Eleanor’s cheek and hugged Louis longer than necessary. Hewasn’t gonna do anything about it. Harry is a professional and the onlyconnection he has with these people is the fact that he’s the wedding planner –even if they have actually become friends in the last six months –, he wasn’t goingto act based on attraction, but that wasn’t necessary the moment the two ofthem were left alone and Niall wouldn’t even let Harry finish with his ideasfor the reception when he sarcastically laughed at him and looked at his phonefor the rest of the hours they had scheduled.

“What areyou talking about, mate?” Niall laughs, holding Lottie’s hand and making her spina couple of times. “I’m not gonna be romantic with Tommo’s little sister.”

Charlottefrowns and slaps him on the arm, Harry wishes he could do that too.

“The onlything you have to do is walk her by the arm to the altar and split in differentdirections, Niall.” Harry says, holding onto the last bit of self-control hehas, otherwise, he would explode. “We’ve been trying to do this for the lastforty minutes, everyone would appreciate it if you stop fooling around andstart to cooperate.”

Niall turnshis head to see the rest of the best men and bridesmaid looking at their phonesand chatting with each other, obviously trying to prove Harry wrong. He sighsand Niall smirks, like he enjoys making Harry suffer. This is the leastfavorite part of his job, when Harry and his mom decided to open awedding-planning business they thought everything would be a daily display oflove and happiness, but the things he had seen, the things he had heard, thepeople he has met. Not everything is flowers and rainbows and most people justwant a beautiful wedding instead of a meaningful marriage.

Harry isabout to pull his own hair out when Louis and Eleanor walk in, holding hands,smiling like they’re just three months in of his relationship and Harry thinksthey may be his favorite couple so far. Niall is looking at them as well, witha big smile on his face and holding Lottie by the arm, walking her down thealtar just like Harry indicated an hour ago. The rest of the bridesmaids andbest men follow their steps.

“How’severything going?” Louis asks, letting Eleanor on the other side of the room ashe walks and stands next to Niall.

“Wonderfully.”Niall says, pretentious tone in his voice as he looks at Harry. “Our friendHarold here is doing an amazing job.”

Louissmiles at him and Harry nods in return, because even if Niall is not sincere,Louis is, and that’s enough for him, he’s the one that truly matters, not thestupid prick that the best man is, at least only with him because he seems totransform when any other person is around, especially Anne, Harry’s mom, whoseems to love him and laughs at him every time Harry complains about the Irishman.

Eleanorwalks down the aisle, making faces at Louis as he looks at the floor to keephimself from laughing but Niall is right there, sending kisses and she pretendsto catch them. How is that someone this sweet can behave like an asshole mostof the time? Harry will never know the answer.

Therehearsal ends forty minutes later than Harry anticipated, giving them only twohours to change for the dinner rehearsal at the other salon in the hotel.Lottie and Sophia drag Harry to the hallway out of the room and they give him ahard drive with the presentation they made for Eleanor to be played at thedinner later, Harry nods and puts it in his pocket to check it when he gets inhis room.

He reminds eachperson that dinner is at 8 o’clock asthey leave the room, and of course, Niall is still inside, maybe he knows Harryhas to close the room and give the key to the Hotel’s manager and he just wantshim to wait longer.

Harry opensthe door and finds him facing the window wall, looking somewhere down the city.He clears his throat to make him notice his presence but he’s doing that thingagain when he zones out and everything else disappears around him. Harry findshim annoying, but for some reason, this time it feels sad.

“I have toclose the room,” he tries again, and Niall seems to wake up, blinkingrepeatedly as he turns to face Harry.

“Yeah,sorry.”

He takeshis jacket from the back of one of the chairs piled at the end of the room andleaves. And that’s the nicest thing he has said to Harry yet.

*

Harry isstanding in a corner of the salon, laughing as he looks at the pics of Eleanorand Louis’ sisters in the projector. It’s a good thing after the tears everyoneshared after the twins played the video their mom left for Louis and Eleanorbecause she knew they were gonna end up together, eventually. Harry thought itwas better to play it the day after tomorrow, the actual day of the wedding.But they begged saying they could play it at the wedding too and he couldn’tsay no.

It wasworth it, the way everyone held their breath when her face showed up in theprojector and she started speaking.

Louis, my beautiful boy…

And hecried but Niall was there to hold him and Eleanor kissed him. The things hismother said, the love in her eyes and his voice, made Harry cry too, feelingincredibly grateful to have his mom with him. The room was silent until thechildhood photos popped up and everyone started laughing.

Louis waskissing his sisters, with the little ones on each leg as they wiped up thetears on his face and laughed about memories they don’t have, Eleanor holdinghis hand. It’s a beautiful picture and Harry is so happy he can witness it.

“You shouldhave warned me about Jay’s video.”

Harryjumps, spilling some of the champagne on the floor and curses, hoping it won’tlighten up the wood of the floor. He turns to his right finding Niall in ablack suit, looking gorgeous with his red nose and red eyes.

“Phoebecame to me asking for permission. I didn’t see it until now.” He answers andNiall nods, rubbing his eyes and Harry wants to take his hands off it so hewon’t hurt himself.

“It wasperfect. Louis’ biggest regret is his mom missing his wedding. They weren’ttogether when his mom…” Niall clears his throat and now it’s Harry’s turn tonod, letting him know that he is listening, “with that video, somehow, it’slike…”

“She’shere.” Harry finishes for him because his voice is trembling. Niall nods again.

“The placelooks incredible.” Niall says, looking at the chandelier over their heads andthe decoration of the tables.

“Do I haveyour approval now?” Harry says sarcastically.

“You’re notthat lucky.” Niall winks at him, walking to the bar and Harry wishes he doesn’tlook as red as his face feels.

*

“It’sfunny.” Eleanor says as she hands Louis a glass of champagne.

He smilesat her, like the moon itself is on her eyes and backs up the chair so she cansit on his lap, and she does so, gracefully. “What is?”

“How Nialllooks like a lost puppy whenever Harry is around.” She laughs and points to theother side of the room where Niall is playing with Ernest while stealingglances of Harry organizing the waitresses.

Louislaughs too, loud and hard and full of joy. It’s a good day, he has his futurewife with him, his son will be arriving any time tomorrow and his best friendseems to be remember how life can be if you let things go.

“Poorthing, it’s been a while since he liked someone.” Eleanor takes a sip of herdrink and Louis snuggles her closer.

“It’sgetting better,” Louis sighs, “He’s been more talkative and he’s actually beencontributing the last couple of weeks with the wedding thing.”

Eleanornods, kissing Louis in the cheek, suddenly remembering a similar situation twoyears ago. Niall looked so happy at this rehearsal dinner, greeting all of hisfamily, laughing with his friends of college, introducing his brother’s son toeveryone. Louis wanted to tell him about the engagement in that moment, butEleanor wanted to wait so they wouldn’t take the spotlight off them. And it wasa good thing they did.

Sometimes,Eleanor thinks that she should have ended things at the rehearsal dinner. Couldhave been simpler. It doesn’t matter what Niall or Louis say, she hates herbecause she stole Niall from a lot of things and then, left him there withoutnothing other than pain. And yeah, she was there when she met Niall but he washer friend, not her.

“I justwant him to be happy.” Eleanor sighs, looking at Niall across the room. He’snot fully looking at Harry with the same expression he had when they first met.Speechless but also annoyed, like he doesn’t want to be attracted to him butHarry is not making it easy for him, being all charming and cute all the time.

“He’sgetting there!” Louis says, confident. Pointing at Niall debating on going Harry’sdirection or coming to talk to the couple. Louis nods in his direction andNiall rolls his eyes, trying to hide his face behind his drink.

“Rememberthe first time he saw Harry?” Eleanor laughs in Louis’ ear, resting her arm onhis shoulder. Louis laughs, nodding again. “He literally had his mouth open.”

“And thentried to ignore him for the rest of the day,” Niall takes some steps at thedistance, stopping to talk to some people on his way but his eyes never leaveHarry.

“We shouldgive Harry a bonus for bringing Niall to the real world,” Eleanor smiles,blowing kisses at Niall every time he turns to them, like looking for approval,“I didn’t even know he was ready for dating again.”

“I don’tthink he was, but Harry didn’t give him a choice, did he?” Louis says, lookingat Eleanor for what seems to be the first time the whole night. They have beenbusy, but not in a stressful way – thanks to Harry – in a lovable tired kind ofway, like a long day after hiking or touring a new city. They’re excited.

“It’s socute when Niall gets frustrated and mad because he doesn’t know how to handlehimself,” She smiles, tenderly, “like when he got drunk with the testing winebecause he couldn’t talk to Harry like a normal person.” Eleanor finishes herglass of champagne and leaves it on the table. “Poor Harry, he has to put upwith a lot.”

“All theflirting he knows goes back to when he was fifteen, remember?” Louis finisheshis glass as well, putting it next to Eleanor’s.

They seeNiall walking to Harry now and maybe he’s a little too drunk by the way hissteps seem to go sideways but when he’s finally behind him, he takes his wristand stars walking out of the salon. Harry struggles a but until he realizeswho’s dragging him and walks with him.

“Oh, damn.”Eleanor whispers.

*

“If youweren’t so fucking corny I’d have made out with your face long ago.” Niallbreathes right over his lips as he tries to unbutton his pants.

Harrylaughs, slapping his hands out of his hips, making him whimper but he doesn’tgive him time to complain when he leans in for another kiss.

His head isfuzzy and his moves are slow for all the champagne he had as the night movedalong. One minute he was alone at the bar, drinking as everyone started leavingto go to their rooms and the next thing he knows, Niall is dragging him to the washroomwith his hand on his pants.

The kissturns slow and Niall makes these little sounds that are driving Harry crazy.His hands are now in Harry’s hair, pulling, rubbing, pressing. And it feelsgood, too good to think clearly. So he starts walking to the faucet untilNiall’s ass hits the sink and he jumps to sit on it, getting his pants wet andhissing about it.

Harrystarts leaving kisses from his cheek to his neck and a voice in the back of hismind is counting all the reasons why this is a bad idea but Niall’s legs aroundhis waist makes him forget them all.

“You lookso hot in that suit.” Niall moans in his ear and he wants to say the same thingbut his knees hit the floor and Niall doesn’t let him talk anymore.

*

Harry hasbeen busy enough to keep him from thinking about how Niall seems to be avoidinghim now. His mom came along to help him to check the food and the flowers, theguest list, the security guys and the decoration of both salons in the Hotel.She’s also helping Eleanor and the girls get ready so Harry has enough time totake a shower and get ready for the ceremony.

He haseverything planned by schedule and all is going according to it. What hedoesn’t expect is someone knocking at his door two hours before the wedding.He’s buttoning his shirt when he opens the door and finds Niall in his blue suit,one hand in the pocket and his eyes on the floor.

“Hey.”Harry says, unsure.

“I needyour help.” Niall says, and he sounds so little.

Harry stepsin, letting Niall walk into his room. He wants to reach for him but somewheredeep down he knows Niall doesn’t feel the same way and it’s fine, Harry hasbeen in this situation enough to know what’s coming.

“I can’tfind the rings.” Niall says, and that wasn’t what he was waiting for.

“What?!”

Harry nevershouts, he likes to talk slow and tender, phrasing his words so it would matchhis thoughts and most people find it exasperating but they have grown used toit, so it doesn’t only surprise Niall when he screams, Harry’s own heartbeat isrising at an incredible speed.

“I don’tremember much from last night but it wasn’t on the shelf next to my bed where Ileft them before going to the club and my room is already upside down and Ican’t focus with all the mess…” Niall is talking fast and moving his hands andHarry would be worried if he wasn’t so mad.

“Are youtrying to ruin this wedding?!” He asks, making Niall looks up, “Are you in lovewith Louis or Eleanor or something?!”

Niallfrowns and he’s ready to hit Harry on the face but he stops with his fist inthe air, controlling his breathing as he sits on the bed, holding his head inhis hands.

“Just helpme find the fucking rings and I’ll be out of your sight.”

*

Harry feelslike he can finally breathe when Louis and Eleanor exchange an I do and kiss. The rings were in thefridge in Niall’s room next to the empty bottles of alcohol. They didn’t sayanything after they found them. Harry just left the room and went to the firstfloor for the final touches.

It’s been acouple of hours and everyone seems to be having fun. Eleanor looks perfect inwhite dancing with Louis’ sister and a beautiful smile on her face. Sophia isdancing with one of the best man, Liam, and maybe they’ll end up together againjust like Lottie planned all along.

An armfalls over his shoulders and he finds Louis at his side holding a pint andlooking at his wife holding his son, spinning around, making Briana laugh asshe waits for her turn to dance with Freddie again. He looks happy and thatsatisfies Harry in an incredible measure.

“Thank youfor all of this.” Louis says and Harry smiles, nodding.

“I hate tosay that’s my job.” Harry mumbles. “I want to say something like you’re myfriend and-”

“Hey!”Louis laugh, slapping the back of his head. “We’re family now, curly.”

Harryblushes and looks at the floor. He didn’t want to say goodbye to these people,maybe he doesn’t have to.

“And I knowNiall has been a pain in the ass, I’m not blind.” Now he’s looking at Niall atthe bar, drinking another whisky a sip at a time. “He hasn’t always been likethis, I promise.”

There’ssomething in his voice, like a flicker of sadness down his throat that he’sbeen trying to let go, but it’s still there.

“Wepostponed the wedding a year, you know?” Louis says, eyes still on Niall.

Harryfrowns, turning half of his body to look at Louis eye to eye. “Why?”

“He wasleft at the altar two years ago by the girl he was in love with since he wasfifteen.” Harry’s mouth opens and his eyes travel to where Niall is sitting,looking at his empty glass. “We were gonna announce the good news at the party,but Niall was so broken, we couldn’t…”

Harry nods,understanding.

“He avoidedevery social event after that, all of his friends know this girl so it wasalmost impossible not to walk into her and her new boyfriend.” Louis sighs, “Wedecided to wait until he was ready to leave his bed and put a smile on his facefor us.”

He wants tosay something, he wants to walk to Niall and apologize and maybe hug him, if heallows it. Maybe it’s written all over his face because Louis laughs and hisarm falls from his shoulders and he pushes him to Niall’s direction.

“The smilehe has when you’re around.” Louis points at Niall, “I haven’t seen that one ina while.”

*

“Hey,”Harry says, sitting in the empty sit next to Niall.

He doesn’tlook up, he doesn’t acknowledge his presence. He just drinks and lets the glasshit the table loud enough to make Harry shiver.

“I want toapologize,” he says, slowly, “I’m so sorry, Niall…”

But helaughs, strong and rough, turning to Harry, giving him goosebumps.

“Did Tommo spillthe beans?” Harry looks down and that’s all the confirmation Niall needs. “Idon’t need your pity.”

“I don’t pityyou.” Harry puts a hand on his arm and his chest gets warm when Niall doesn’t throwhim off. “Everyone deals with their own shit. I just seem to have forgottenthat.”

Niallshakes his head, looking at Harry’s hand on his arm and he puts his own handover it before Harry could move it.

“There’s noexcuse for the way I’ve been treating you.” He clears his throat, looking upwith his red teary eyes. “I’m just afraid, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.I’m sorry.” He smiles.

Harry nods,smiling as well. “Maybe we can star over after this wedding is over.”

“What aboutnow?” Niall says, squinting.

“That’salso a good idea.”

#narry fic #narry fanfic #narry prompt #my fic #my writing #prompts #niall x harry #narry #harry x niall #flickerbyniall

[aly-ashy]

Date challenge

I am starting to get used to my life as one of the selected. I have made friends with a lot of the other ladies, I don't get lost every time I have to find a bathroom outside of my room and I have even spoken with Haiden on a couple occasions. However, I don't know that I am ready to spend an extended amount of one on one time with him.. a date seems kinda intimidating. But just over a week ago Haiden announced that he is determined to go on a date with each of us over the next week or two. As soon as he announced it there were several girls that flooded towards him to schedule their dates. I was not one of them, I figured I would wait my turn. But that was almost a week ago and now they have all gone on their dates. So, I guess next time I see Haiden I should talk to him about when we can go on ours. As for now, I think I will go down to the library and read. I slip on my shoes and head out. It feels kinda weird to have to put shoes on to leave my room but I am sure it would feel weird to walk around the palace barefooted as well. As I get to the bottom of the stairway I turn toward the hallway that leads to the library but stop when I hear someone say my name. "Lady Alysen!" I turn to see Haiden nearby coming towards me. "Prince Haiden! I didn't see you there otherwise I would have said hello." "Don't worry about it. However, I do need to speak to you about our date." "Oh yes. I thought I would let the girls that were more anxious to go have a chance to do so. But I am ready to take my turn whenever you are available." "Are you able to do it tonight?" "Tonight sounds wonderful." "Alright. I will come by your room around 8." "Okay I will see you then Haiden." He gives me a nod and we head in our separate directions. When I get to the library I try to focus on the book that I had picked out but I can't stop thinking about the date. What do I wear? Am I supposed to plan it? How long is it going to take? I decide that the best way to let my mind rest is to go talk to some people that have the answers. So, I make my way towards the women's room. I walk in to see several of the girls sitting around having a conversation. I join them and when there is a pause in the discussion I decide to bring up my date. "So I'm going on my date tonight..." The girls all make their own comments about how exciting it is and asking me questions. “Are you nervous?” One of the girls asks. “Kind of? Not really? I just don't know what to expect..” Several of the girls tell me I will be okay and as long as I be myself it will be totally great. “That's actually why I came down here… can anyone tell me kinda what I should expect? Like what do I need to do to prepare?” “It will go best if you go into it with a plan. It will be less awkward if you know what you want to do.” Viola says with a smile. “I agree. And be sure to pick something that you feel totally comfortable doing. That will make it less awkward as well.” Sophia adds on. “Alright… thanks guys. I think I have an idea of what to do now.” The conversation moves on and we all talk until it is time to go to dinner. We all walk together and sit down to eat. The meal is fantastic as always but I find myself getting distracted from eating. I keep staring at Haiden. I guess with my date tonight I am getting a wave of that ‘this can't be real’ feeling which is a feeling that I have felt at least once a week since I got to the palace. I try to get back to eating my food and within a few minutes I have finished eating. I excuse myself and head to my room to get ready for my date. When I get back to my room my maid Elsie is sitting at a table in the corner of the room. “What would you like to wear for tonight miss?” “Well I think I will take him down to the kitchens and we could do some baking so I would like to go more casual for tonight.” “That sounds like a lot of fun miss.” “I thought so too. So I was thinking some pants and a cute blouse. Cute but functional for the kitchen?” “That sounds perfect. What would you like to do with your hair?” “I cannot have my hair down when I'm baking. It drives me crazy.” “Alright well we best start getting you ready it won't be long until he comes for you.” “Okay well let’s do this then!” I only have two pairs of pants here since I spend most of my time in dresses, I pick the darker ones because they are more flattering and it's harder to tell if they get dirty. I pick out a flowery top as well and put them on. I walk into the bathroom where Elsie is waiting to do my hair. I have learned to trust her and my other maids to do my hair without much direction and they never fail to impress. Elsie curls my hair and then puts it into a ponytail. My makeup looks fine from when we did it earlier so we decide to leave that how it is. After we finish we walk back into my bedroom and sit on the bed to talk until Haiden comes. We talk for about 10 minutes when there is a knock on the door. Elsie walks over to open the door and I stand up and walk towards the door. Haiden nods at me. “Hello, Lady Alysen are you ready for our date?” “Yes!” I respond with a smile. “Great, what would you like to do?” “I was thinking that we could go to the kitchen and I could teach you how to make something that we make in my family's bakery back home.” “All right, but I've got to warn you, I'm a terrible baker.” He says and I can tell that this is not an activity that he would pick. “Well that's fine because I happen to be a great baker” “Hopefully your skills outweigh mine” Haiden laughs. “I believe in you. At least I with my help I do.” Haiden offers me his arm and says “Well, let's go, shall we?” “Alright! Thank you.” I say taking his arm. We head out of my room and he starts a conversation. “So, tell me about yourself” “Okay. Umm I'm from Labrador, I work full time, I have 3 siblings, what else would you like to know?” “About you. Your dreams, hopes, how you feel about this thing, your deepest, darkest secrets.” Oh wow he's asking the big questions now… “Oh gosh! I don't really know how exactly I want my life to go.. It definitely depends on how the selection works out. I know I want kids but that is really the only thing I am sure of. As for the selection I have loved it so far. It has some hard things for sure but it has been a great experience. And I don't really have any secrets? I tend to make choices that I wouldn't be ashamed of.” “That's great to hear. The choices we make tend to express who we are to an extent.” “Yeah. What about yourself? What is something that I wouldn't know about you?” “Um, I have three piercings in my right ear.” “Wow! You're right, I did not know that!” “Not a lot of people do. My parents threatened to give the throne to my sisters if I wore them” “That's hilarious. Well it looks like we have made it to the kitchens. What would you like to make?” I say once we get to the kitchen. “Um, something I won't explode” I nod and say “Brownies it is” “That's my father's favorite. He actually makes really good ones, but I'm not sure what the secret ingredient is.” “Well we will have to see who makes better brownies then” “I don't know, it'll be a challenge” “I'm up for the challenge” Haiden gestures toward the kitchen and says “Wonderful. So what do we need first? “We need butter, oil and sugar.” Haiden gathers ingredients and sets them on a counter “All right” “Alright so now we need to melt the butter and then mix it with the oil, and sugar. Then we will need eggs and vanilla” “This seems complicated” “I'll do all the hard stuff and you can just run around getting ingredients” “Watch me trip and crack all the eggs. I got banned for an entire month from the kitchen once for that exact reason” “Just carry 1 egg at a time so that you could only drop one at a time” “That would take a while” “We only need 2 eggs” “Okay, let's do this.” He says as he grabs eggs one at a time and almost trips. “I believe in you Haiden!” “That was the most nerve-wracking 30 seconds of my life.” He sighs after the eggs are safely in my hands. “Well you did well. Now we need vanilla, cocoa, flour, sugar and salt” “When I was eight I once ate an entire bowl of sugar” “I eat peanut butter with a spoon sometimes.” I reply. “Really?” He laughs “How uncivilized. My sister eats plain butter” “Oh my gosh that's so gross! I love butter but I can't eat it plain” “She's sadistic” “Which sister is it?” “Eloise” “Oh my gosh.” I laugh and shake my head. “It is kinda nice to see a less public side to your family though.” “Most definitely. If you'd have to know anything about my family, it'd be that Eloise is sadistic, Elaine is possibly insane, my mother can tell if you're lying no matter what, and my father will never let you win an argument.” We continue the conversation while I combine the rest of the ingredients. “That makes me miss my family. Each of them have their distinctive characteristics as well.” I say with a faint smile. “What is it like being away from them? I have never spent much time away from my family.” “It's really weird. I will see something and think oh I wish Bella could have seen that. Or I wish my parents could taste some of baguette’s baking. And stuff like that. But I think it's good that I spend some time away from them, lessen my dependence.” “That makes sense.” “Yeah.. Alright, I have a question for you.” “Let's go find somewhere to sit down while the brownies bake and then you can ask me all the questions you would like.” We move to some chairs nearby and I ask my question. “So, most nights before I go to bed I like to reflect on my day and figure out what some of the highs and lows of the day were. So, what have been the highs and the lows of the selection in general?” “Highs are definitely meeting all you ladies and just shaking things up in general. The only low I can see is that this has been a rather time consuming and stressful endeavor. What about you? What are your highs and lows?” “Highs are meeting you, meeting the other girls, the food, the beds, the weather, the free time, the beds, leaving my comfort zone, and the beds. Lows are leaving my family, leaving the family I work for, and leaving my comfort zone.” “Well I'm glad that it has proven to be a good experience thus far, and I'm very glad you like the beds.” He says with a smile. The conversation keeps going until the brownies are done. “I would say that we should deliver some of these to your father but I'm afraid by the time the are cool enough to eat it will be too late. So perhaps I will come down to the kitchen before breakfast tomorrow and cut them up and we can try them then.” “That sounds like a wonderful idea. Now I suppose I should return you to your bed that you love so much.” “Oh yes! I can hear it calling my name!” I say with a laugh. I take his arm again as we walk back to my room. When we reach my door he says thank you. “I had a lovely time tonight lady Alysen. Thank you for putting up with my inaccuracies in the kitchen.” “Thank you for doing it with me. Baking always makes me happy so I'm glad I got to share it with you.” I look into his eyes and smile. He takes my head I. His hands and places a gentle kiss on my forehead. “Good night lady Alysen.” He whispers. “Good night Haiden.” I whisper back and then I turn and open my door and walk in. After I shut my door I can't keep the smile off my face. “I take that as a good sign.” Elise laughs. “It was nice. Nothing very special happened if that's what you're thinking but it was nice.” “Something must have happened. You are awfully giddy.” “It wasn't a big deal. It was nothing compared to what has happened with the other girls.” “Alright well let's get you ready for bed.” “Okay.” Elise helps take my hair out and does anything else I need before she leaves. As I lay in my bed about to fall asleep I reflect on my day. I would have to say that today was only highs. No lows.

#Alysen ashdown #selectionoc

[starlightsunflowers]

13 Reasons why is so sad, you never have any idea what someone is going through be kind and more importantly be there for them, no matter what. Be the type of person that someone can lean on when they need a friend or just an ear. Sure some of us have bads days and we take it out on the people who mean the most to us instead of the ones who deserve it, but that’s life, we don’t feel comfortable as people to open up all of our feelings to everyone and that’s why there are only a few people that know how we truly feel.

It’s really sad how many people asked me personally how i’m doing today at work and i just faked a smile and said good but inside i was on fire. My stomach felt like a volcano trying to work it lava up my throat. I wanted to throw up from nerves and anxiety. I felt alone, i felt hopeless and all i could do was try to pretend i wasn’t but i knew i was. I hate it, i hate that i mess up and that i don’t appreciate the things i should and maybe i just don’t deserve them in the first place. Nobody is going to read this but i swear nobody can hurt me more than i hurt myself. Not even physically which i do happen to do sometimes but mentally and emotionally, i supressed everything until i had a break down at work today and all i could do was cry, and unfortunately i’m broke as fuck and need this job so i had to serve the customers while my eyes and nose are running and then i get asked what’s wrong and nobody would or could ever understand so you just say nothing and try to smile so they leave.

I don’t know who to lean on, it’s not sexist but guys literally don’t understand other guys when it comes to emotion. We’re supposed to be fucking brick walls and words and feelings and throughts are supposed to bounce off of us and we’re supposed to not show any weakness or emotion and unfortunately i’ve never been one of those guys. I cry every single time i watch The Notebook or any other “chick flick” but i really love those movies because i want to believe that love isn’t something perfect that you just fall into, love is sometimes hard and sometimes a bumpy road but i want to believe that no matter what if two people are in it that they find each other in the end.

I didn’t mean to go off this morning and i regret it, i regret holding things in to the point where i exploded and i regret that i let them come out in the form of anger and aggression because it wasn’t my intention to hurt you even if i was hurting inside myself. I don’t ever forgive myself for anything and i never stop thinking, i go back and i read my messages and i think what the fuck is wrong with you, why would you say that to her and i beat myself up. I deserve it though. I’m such a piece of shit. I have a dead end part time job, all my money goes towards bills, i live at home still, i’m actually still in debt in legal fees. I’m not very attractive personality or physically and i’m a mental dumpster fire. Why the fuck would anyone ever want me? Am i even capable of being loved?

I just get tired of being alive somedays, even when i made a very real threat to kill myself the lady from the Crisis center called me one day to check how i was doing and never got back to me with any more information about counseling or any hotline numbers or anything like that. She gets paid to do that stuff and she didn’t even care enough to see that i had resources or help available so maybe i’m just not worth all of it. I think of how is it is to be here one minute and gone the next and i really want a future with the girl of my dreams and our babies that will look just like her. I want Sophia and Reese and i still think about how you said you wanted to adopted and i love that idea. I know if i kill myself none of things will ever have the chance of happening that that’s why i hold on, for the chance to make something amazing. For the chance to be a father and a husband and do something right in my life for once. I don’t even know that you want me anymore and life sucks without but i honestly get it. I’m the hardest person to love and you’ve done it so well for as long as i’ve known you. I don’t deserve you, i don’t deserve your time or your love or your attention. You can have such a good life without me in it and i know that and i couldn’t blame you for one single second if you took that chance.

I’ve never met someone better than you, i’ve never talked to someone that didn’t make me miss you like crazy, whether it was something they said or the way they said it or just the topic. Everything reminds me of the love that i have for you. And it hurts but i like it because i love you. I want to be surrounded by the things that remind me of you, i don’t ever want to move on or forget, you taught me hoe love is supposed to feel and idk that anyone else could ever make me feel it again but i could sleep okay at night as long as i knew wherever you are in the world that you’re happy with whoever you’re with, wherever you are, doing what you’re doing. I just want you to be happy. I really miss you Sunflower

[kidsviral-blog]

Holly Robinson Peete, Holly Marie Combs attack Malkin, demean moms

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/holly-robinson-peete-holly-marie-combs-attack-malkin-demean-moms/

Holly Robinson Peete, Holly Marie Combs attack Malkin, demean moms

http://twitter.com/#!/hollyrpeete/status/260735938894905345

Sigh. Another Hollywood lib needs schooling and Michelle Malkin is, as always, up to the task. Holly Robinson Peete had her panties in a twist today over Twitchy founder Michelle Malkin’s epic schooling of lady parts obsessed Sophia Bush. Ms. Robinson Peete has had a bee in her Hollyweird bonnet for days, though. It started when Michelle Malkin was exposing the idiocy of the Left’s attempted Tagg Romney narrative, while also calling out the vulgar and sexist Eva Longoria.

@michellemalkin lol did you just call me a “squirrel”? if so that is a first! did u ™ ‘Hollywood femmes’? u r on the attack today momma! xo

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 18, 2012

.@hollyrpeete Calm down, momma. “Squirrel” is a joke reference to Dug the doug from the movie “Up.” It’s shorthand for “Distraction!”

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 18, 2012

.@hollyrpeete Here is my column on the Democratic politics of SQUIRREL ==> is.gd/1QwAkT

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 18, 2012

.@hollyrpeete So you and @evalongoria talking about Tagg Romney is total SQUIRREL because it’s OBVIOUS he was joking…

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 18, 2012

@michellemalkin right let that have been Flotus or girls make that “joke” your caps lock button would explode 😉 disrespect=disrespect

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 18, 2012

.@hollyrpeete Nah. It’s nothing compared to Obama 08: “If they bring a knife to the fight, we bring a gun.” Which I’m sure upset you, too.

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 18, 2012

.@hollyrpeete …but you and your Hollywood femme ™friends say little to nothing about progressive climate of hate is.gd/ZT9oGh

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 18, 2012

That’s right. And these alleged #womensupportingwomen ignore the vicious bile spewed at conservative women, always. Holly Marie Combs gets in on the act, too.

@hollyrpeete @michellemalkin Dude she obsessively compulsively repetitively quotes a cartoon. Immaturity abounds.

— Holly Marie Combs (@H_Combs) October 18, 2012

@hollyrpeete @michellemalkin This welfare baby from teenaged parents will gladly pay taxes if it helps kids like me become grown ups like me

— Holly Marie Combs (@H_Combs) October 18, 2012

Clear explanations are still hard, apparently. Because Ms. Robinson Peete then went on to attack Michelle Malkin as a mother a couple of days later.

@deialiberately @michellemalkin agree! doesn’t square with being a good parent

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 20, 2012

FALSE #BSalert @michellemalkin is working overtime. “@gophotline: Looks like hateful far-left views of @hollyrpeete r finally being exposed”

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 20, 2012

@nataliemac84 @gophotline @michellemalkin nat not worth it-that’s ALL they do ALL day #mindblowing

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 20, 2012

@shiobhankelly a popular mom blogger who spends her entire day bashing calling names baiting distorting provoking

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 20, 2012

From “just a blogger” to “just a mom blogger.” Silly real world moms! You aren’t allowed to use your minds nor stand up for your beliefs. In fact, you can’t even have beliefs. Just focus on contemplating your uteri and stuff.

@moniselseward that IS her job! Lol

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 20, 2012

@nat0127 @michellemalkin I don’t mind her putting forth her views but what kind of MOM spends ALL day baiting attacking taunting twisting?

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 20, 2012

How dare she? Is that how the oh-so-loving and tolerant Left empower women? By attacking them as mothers, thus also attacking their children? Robinson Peete, and Combs, continue “empowering” women by diminishing others today.

@nataliemac84 @michellemalkin @evalongoria @whoopigoldberg and now sophia bush. Her JOB is to attack and tear down 24/7 #motheroftheyear

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 23, 2012

@musicislove16 bc that’s her schtick

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 23, 2012

.@michellemalkin do you ever actually try to meet face2face with those you stalk? Or is it more fun just attacking from your secret lab?

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 23, 2012

.@michellemalkin there u go shaping my narrative again w/o knowing me. not “vigorous disagreement” but nasty assaults stoked by YOU/your RTs

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 23, 2012

.@michellemalkin I guess I got picked to be today’s eva kerry or sophia. Lucky me! Just when I cleaned all the c words out of my timeline…

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 23, 2012

@joycee68 @michellemalkin she is trying to bait and twist. #herjob

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 23, 2012

@traceyanita3 @michellemalkin #ladysmarts not malkins style

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 23, 2012

@michellemalkin on a plane to chicago for an autism appearance so I am going to focus on that. Happy baiting, inciting and twisting! xo

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 23, 2012

.@hollyrpeete I got bored w/you an hour ago. #moveon

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 23, 2012

@michellemalkin oh u attack and now u r bored? And I should #moveon?Who’s the next victim? You are a piece of work. #moty

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 23, 2012

And some irony.

People make a living passive aggressively tearing others down all day from their kitchens. Sad waste of platform for something positive…

— Holly Robinson Peete (@hollyrpeete) October 23, 2012

Err. You mean like that passive-aggressive tweet? And, again she demeans mothers. Know your places, conservative women: The kitchen. And it must not be used for anything but making a liberal man a sammich. He knows best. You just sit in the kitchen and look purty.

Holly Marie Combs whips out the bully card.

.@michellemalkin The way you speak to people makes you a hater not your political views. You’re a playground bully with too much free time.

— Holly Marie Combs (@H_Combs) October 23, 2012

@hockeyguy @michellemalkin Attacking people who have never uttered her name is not fighting back it is harassment. And a cry for attention.

— Holly Marie Combs (@H_Combs) October 23, 2012

Hilarious. No, it’s fighting back. Some Hollywood libs just need schooling and you two are among that class. “Just a mom bloggers” are just the ones to serve you up a nice plate of detention.

Hollywood Twitter rules: When conservatives push back, call them “bullies.” When they beat you with FACTS, accuse them of having a “crush”.

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 23, 2012

And the old sexist strawman: When conservative women respond to a Hollywood femme’s nonsense, accuse them of being “jealous.” #lame

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 23, 2012

These Hollywood wimmin who claim to speak for wimmin have no clue about IPAB or USPSTF & consequences for women==> is.gd/CqbCWk

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 23, 2012

Not one Hollywood Starlet for Obama has responded to FACTS about Obamacare rationing, drop in cancer screenings ==> is.gd/CqbCWk

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 23, 2012

Hi Hollywood starlets: Stop lying to women about Planned Parenthood & cancer screenings. @kerrywashington @evalongoria is.gd/EOKBg7

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 19, 2012

Dear libs rushing to protect Obama’s Hollywood Girls Club from us meanie right-wing gals: We’re not “obsessed.” We’re focused. #ladysmarts

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 18, 2012

If you think it’s a “waste of time” to expose lies & hatred Hollywood femmes are spreading, you live in a bubble of naivete & self-delusion.

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 18, 2012

.@hollyrpeete Your definition of “hate:” Vigorous disagreement from conservatives who dare to engage you on social media.

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 23, 2012

If you’re a Hollywood lib who uses Twitter to share politics, you’re a hero. If you’re a conservative who does the same, you’re a H8er.

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 23, 2012

And a bad mother, natch. For the horrible crime of having your own thoughts and beliefs and for standing up for them. Teaching daughters to be independent and strong, and to use their lady smarts, not lady parts.  But women who dismiss mothers and attack them? #WomenSupportingWomen. Because, vagina. Of course, only if it’s the right kind of vagina.

No Hollywood lib could w/stand toxic H8 that Left has 4 minority female conservatives: “Hope you get shot Uncle Tom”==> is.gd/ci3XkW

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 23, 2012

Comparet: Lib Hollyweird whiner @russellcrowe is.gd/xpqyQO vs Romney-supporting happy warrior @realstaceydash is.gd/ci3XkW

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 23, 2012

Parting tweet: Find me ONE Hollywood Starlet for Obama who will publicly address PP’s racist, eugenics agenda==> is.gd/fvCICt

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) October 23, 2012

They won’t. And they won’t ever stand up for all women. They’d rather be perpetual grievance-mongers … from their Hollyweird elitist towers.

Related:

Obama campaign co-chair Eva Longoria retweet: Women, minorities ‘stupid’ to vote for ‘racist/misogynistic’ Romney; Update: Malkin speaks ‘truth to Hollywood powder puffs’; Update: Longoria deletes retweet

School a Hollywood lib: Energy industry responds to Chris Rock snark

Actress Sophia Bush invokes her lady parts because, well, we’re not exactly sure; Update: Attacks Michelle Malkin, continues with Vagina Squirrel

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/10/23/hollyweird-libs-holly-robinson-peete-holly-marie-combs-attack-malkin-demean-moms/