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#soothed with time and trust and FORGIVENESS' their combined results never fail to make me insane đŸ«¶đŸ«¶
vvanessaives · 11 months
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–what does your heart look like?
i was tagged by @katsigian @halsin @devilbrakers and @nuclearstorms to take this quiz for some of my ocs, thank you soso much everyone!! mwah
i think many already got tagged so feel free to ignore this or jump into it!! tagging: @reaperkiller @aragorngf @morvaris @malefiicarum @faarkas @risingsh0t @florbelles @indorilnerevarine @denerims @cultistbase and you!!
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a bird struggling to get loose
Your heart can never hold still. It pounds against your chest frantically, always turning your sights to one thing after the next. When was the last time you were certain? The last time your life was stable? Maybe this is how you prefer things. On the move constantly, not tied down to one person or place. You chase one goal after the next. Can you ever really feel complete without a place to land? Shouldn’t you build yourself a nest?
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a tangled ball of red strings
Who are you without the company of others? You aren’t sure, but you know that you aren’t fond of whoever it is. You are an actor, a pretty face and a pleasant song. Many idolize you, or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is. Your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. It can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you. You deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.
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molten lava and charred flesh
Your heart burned so fiercely that it burnt itself out, leaving horrible scars in its wake; scars inside your chest and on the hands of those who touched you, the hearts of anyone who got close enough to connect to yours. The person you are now is no longer recognizable, burnt up by your own anger and passion and love. The injuries can never be fully erased, but they can be soothed with time and trust and forgiveness.
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the-goddessfighter · 4 years
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DEMON & ANGEL MONSTERS AU BATAROU <3
by: Little1993lamb
Yayy it's my birthdayyy~! On September 6th, btw 😚🎉🎉🎊
Let me share Demon&Angel Monster Batarou AU as my treat for you, Temperans-sama!
 Summary:
At some point in his life after living together with reformed Human Monster Garou, Badd suddenly underwent a monsterification which allowed him to transform into a new form: a six-winged Seraphim-like Angel Monster.
And today is Badd's birthday, but he's must still going to do his daily duty as a professional S-Class hero along with Garou. What Garou can do to cheer his beloved Angel up on his birthday?
 Disclaimer:
The headcanons that have been mentioned in this AU are not 100% mine. Some ideas were created by @the-goddessfighter, @beautifulnightmareus, and @kaincuro .
I only combined and mixed all of them together with my own ideas into one (hopefully) coherent AU headcanon. So, thank you so much guys for giving me brilliant ideas!
 Warning:
Nothing was explicit here, so it's safe I assure you. But there are some soft yet passionate kisses between Garou and Badd, and some loving embrace/hugging from this Demon&Angel Monster couple.. đŸ˜šđŸ’‹â€
OOC characterizations of Badd and Garou, I'm pretty sure of it. There are many amazing authors who can nailed their characterization perfectly and rest assured I'm not among them *sobs*
No beta. So many typos, grammar mistakes, very limited vocabulary, and broken English. I'm so sorry for my bad English, it's not my mother language I'm still learning on it, so I apologized if it makes you feel very uncomfortable during reading this writing, forgive meee... 😭🙏🙇
 Please enjoy it 😉💕
 --------------------------------
Badd was deep in thought, contemplating his life journey together with Garou for the last 4 years.
It's been 4 years since Badd was harboring a fugitive Garou in his home, just a day before his 18th birthday. It's been difficult to play some cat-and-mouse game against Heroes Association, knowing they were still hunted the ex-Hero Hunter, who currently hiding in his own house.
He realized that Garou is actually not a bad guy, they quickly became bestfriends without knowing there's something else was blooming between them.
 It's been 3 years and a half since Badd partnered with Garou after he was getting pardoned by Heroes Association and became a hero, climbed up his way from the very bottom of C-Class rank until he could stand beside Badd as a fellow S-Class Hero in no time. Badd was so proud of him.
It's more easier to have Garou as his partner, fighting along side-by-side, sharing their glorious victory together just like old friends, or maybe more than that but nobody have a courage to confess it out, resulting on them hopelessly pining for each other like idiots in love.
 It's been 3 years since Garou finally asking him out to be his lover, that he accepted immediately. They started living their love life together while still continuing their heroes works as partners.
Everyone had already know them as inseparable hero couple duo or power couple duo, while their friends just feel deeply relieved that at long last they become an item after too many obvious mutual pining moments for years.
He's grateful to have a very caring boyfriend like Garou, as it turned out Garou is secretly a softie and sweetheart, even though he always denied it immediately. Everytime Garou showering his love to him, Badd feels like his life is complete now.
 It's been a year since Badd underwent unexpected monsterification which allowed him to be turned into an Angel Monster, a six-winged Seraphim kind of Angel, complete with a halo above his head and pure white light emanating from his entire body. Total opposite from Garou's own monster form, which looked like a Demon.
It confused the hell out of him because it occured so suddenly, made him freaked out and slightly afraid of people's bad opinion for him if not for Garou's presence that soothing him and always taking care of him during the transformation.
Garou always comes to comfort him whenever they'd just transformed into monsters together, ensuring that he will always be there for him, telling him no matter what Badd has become he’ll still loving him unconditionally.  
 And it's been half a year that Badd had accepted his new form and learnt how to control his monster transformation, thanks to his lover's teaching and neverending supports. He later learning from Garou that his monster form was born from benevolent intent to protect people he loves, and his kindhearted personality. Unlike common monsters especially the criminal scums, Badd's motive is considered very pure.
It's kind of similar to what happened to Garou when he wanted to become monster: a noble intention to make himself a sacrifice target for humankind, so people would be united together and wont have to hurt eachother anymore, just focusing to defeat him only. Even though the plan was failed, he's glad that now he already found a new purpose.
 Garou had said to him back then, as a human monster himself, he understand how it feels to be transformed into something frightening and facing people's harsh misjudgement. But that's before Garou met Badd, who patiently coaxing him, giving his humanity back, and never afraid of his monster form.
 Now it's time for Garou to do the same things for his beloved "Angel", he wanted to make sure Badd feels loved despite after getting his new form so suddenly.
 During the process of learning with Garou, they also always make time to talking heart-to-heart about their own experiences when they're turning into monster form. That way, Badd slowly understand what hardship Garou had been through after all this time, and how much suffering his lover had felt during difficult time.
 It makes Badd became more empathetic towards Garou. They have bonded over the struggle to overcome their disadvantage under the same fate...
 --------------------------------
 Speaking of the same fate, Garou once asking Badd, could they be considered as Soulmates?
 Because their monster form are like a matching pair: Demon and Angel. Polar opposite, hellish versus heavenly, dark versus light, evil versus good, villain versus hero, always depicted as mortal enemies, but somehow looked fit together as dangerous complement pair.
It's not coincidental they also become a couple before Badd's monsterification, made it seems like Garou's Demon finally found its other half: Badd's Angel. Like Yin Yang, they complement each other.
 Not to mention, their first time meeting actually had Badd fell from the sky in front of Garou, just in time after Garou wished to meet Badd as soon as possible. Hence whenever someone asking how they met before, he always jokingly says that Badd was a godsend angel who has fallen from heaven and he caught him. Never thought that it would become real once Badd completed his monsterification: Badd is really an Angel!
And not some random Angel form, he got the form of highest rank Angel, the most beautiful and also most powerful, depicted as "fiery angel" who has a duty on performing purification. All of those descriptions suits Badd perfectly.
 Garou could say he was too stunned when he saw Badd's majestic new form at first time, he fell in love so much deeper than before. Finding out that your lover has a matching monster theme made you become extremely happy! That's what Garou was feeling at the time. Now they could be Demon-Angel monster pair together!
 But of course, Garou's first and main job is to make sure Badd feels comfort enough on his transformation, to teach Badd controling his monster form, and the most important is to give all the support and unconditional love for him.
 Slowly but sure, Garou would guide his lover to accepting himself. Just like what Badd had been doing to him in the past, when only Badd the person who brave enough to love and giving so much care for a "ultimate evil monster" until he can love himself for what he is.
 Badd has taught Garou that lesson, and now Garou wanted to do the same for him.
 With lots of patient and support, now look at them.
 Heroes Association has giving Badd permission to use his monster form while fighting, just like what Garou received years ago. Thus, Badd is allowed to transform whenever the situation required him to do so, as long as Garou supervised him.
They also already have people’s approval about their monster form, even people thought they’re really cool monster hero couple. People have a special nickname for both of them, something like “Knights of the Last Judgement”.
 Badd also have their family’s full support. Zenko, upon knowing his big brother's new form, never seems afraid for his intimidating figure. Not at all.
She even said Badd becomes even more cooler with that appearance, complimenting nonstop about the beauty of his "angelic" form. Badd is like, courtesy by Zenko, live-sized pretty angel doll.
And those fluffy six wings! Zenko asked Badd if she and Garou can buried themself into it and snuggle it, also if he can take her flying someday after a mission it seems very exciting for her! Badd can't say no to her.
 Bang didn't say much but Garou can see how much his master (or father, honestly) is very proud of Badd. He trusted Badd can handle his new form easily, just like the way he tamed Garou's monster side and helped Garou to become a better person.
That way, Bang gave his blessing for both Garou and Badd to use their other form, wishing them for the best.
 Those evidences had proved they all understand fully that deep down Badd is still remained as himself, nothing has really changed. Not even his new monstrous appearance can chance that fact...
 ---------------------------------
 As usual, Badd and Garou attended Heroes Association meeting along with another fellow S-Class heroes. Each of them were given a dangerous important mission, because on that day there are so many Dragon-level monsters attacking many cities at the same time.
Heroes Association executives under Sitch's order hoped that S-Class Heroes could aided A-Class heroes who currently battling the monsters and helped on evacuating civilians to the safer place.
 Everyone already got each of their own job to manage at different cities, while Badd and Garou were ordered to work in pair to fight a bunch of biggest monsters that heading towards City-S' border. Considering the huge amount and size of those monsters, also after receiving reports on how severe the monsters causing damages on the cities they have destroyed, Heroes Association recommended to send both Garou and Badd together at once, as their combined power could demolished those monsters without wasting much time.
 So, the S-Class heroes couple quickly heading towards the mission's location. As soon as they arrived, those monsters were already attacking city border while many B-Class heroes still in the middle of evacuating people, and some A-Class heroes trying to buy time by fighting or distracting the monster.
 Understand what they should do, Garou and Badd begin their job. At first, Garou divert the monsters' attention to him and riled them up so they only focused on Garou and Badd only. Then they're doing collaborated multiple attacks with coordinated strikes, cornering the monsters without stopping so they moved towards outside city border.
 It must be done like that to minimalize the destruction that both the heroes and the monsters caused in the city, also to reduce the risk of civilians getting involved into dangerous areas during fighting happen.
This new protocol was applied after the Hero Association reformed themself back then when Garou still being fugitive, so much things must be re-evaluated from the inside to make Hero Association better in the future.
 Succeeded at beating back and leading the monsters bunch into a remote area outside the city far from any population, now it's time for Garou and Badd finishing the job with their ultimate power. Concentrating on their aim and purpose, both of them begin the monsterification.
As soon as their "Fighting Spirit" activated, their human bodies slowly changed.
 Garou's body was engulfed by spinning dark spirals which growing from his left abdomen scars he got from Orochi's attack years ago, made him entirely covered by black hardened skin "armor" of his monster form, all of the nails on his long slender fingers turned into sharp claws, his bright yellow gold irises changed into vivid gold colored irises and his normally white scleras turned into red colored ones, and finally his snow white colored hair turned into black-and-white sharpened spiky hair before it formed into big pointy menacing horns.
Now, Garou was returned again on being the "Demon" Human Monster, bringing back his brutal satanic monstery image. He's ready to hunt again.
 Badd's entire body was glowing bright of white blinding light while emanating a dangerous aura, there's velvety ribbon-like white clothes appeared and wrapping his torso, Badd’s jet black hair rapidly turned into pure white colour, along with the halo-like appendage that circling around his head. And the last thing, he's sprouting six pairs of wide feathery wings from his back, all of them were beautiful fair white colored, at first the wings looked soft but as the "Fighting Spirit" building up in his body those feathers changed into razor-sharp needles.
Now, Badd revealed his other self to the enemies what is the meaning of "Avenging Angel", showing them how terrifying his Angel monster side is and how much he's fully capable to put the fear of god into their mind.
 Monster Garou smiling maniacally when he saw the monsters' terror-stricken expression on their face when they witnessing Monster Badd's imposing figure. Apparently they never heard of Hero Metal Bat's monsterification rumour before. Poor them, though. This will become the first time and the last time they ever seen Angel Monster Badd in action.
 Monster Badd has already in his fighting stance, signaling Monster Garou to be ready for their ultimate finishing moves.
With devilish smirk (Garou) and triumphant smile (Badd), together they shouted:
 [It's time for "slaughter party"/"punishment"!!]
 ----------------------------------
 In the end, everything went alright for the heroes, mission was successful just as planned. All of the monster attacks on several cities has been stopped. The Dragon-level monsters themself has already annihilated. Total building destructions and casualties has been minimized. Civillians who had been evacuated before can go back to their home and continuing their daily activities.
 Still standing in the middle of monsters remains and carcasses, Monster Garou and Monster Badd were basking in glorious victory of successful mission while calming themself from the rush of pumped up adrenaline in their bodies.
 Badd thinks he should be happy that at last they could finished their mission as soon as possible. It's just... Badd feel so tired. Not only physically, because of his monsterifaction had been eating most of his energy, but also emotionally. He's practically drained.
 Today was supposed to be his 22th birthday celebration, where he originally wanted to spend his family time with Zenko and Garou only. It's one of few times Badd could be taking a day-off so he would arranging a private small party with Zenko (now also with Garou) in their home without any people trying to disturb them.
But unfortunately, he got a sudden emergency call from Heroes Association, who gave a dangerous mission and it's the very important one because only S-Class heroes could solved it, so Garou and him must go to do their work. Despite with heavy heart...
 Badd just couldn't reject the hero obligation, it's always been duty come first then their own life. That's the contract and consequences of become S-Class hero, he already knew it very well. But still... It's feel disheartening.
 Decided to take a rest until his body reverted back into human form, Monster Badd gave a cue for Monster Garou that he will moving to more comfortable place to lay on at the area around them. He's flapping his enormous fluffy wings and then takes off from his previous spot, began to searching where he could rest on.
 The battle against the monster enemies took a place near a meadow, not too far from where they stand before, which consist of both grass field and flower field.
Monster Badd carefully landing on the flower field, walking towards the center of it, then proceed to flopping down face first in the middle of flower field, made the flower petals bursted in the air from the impact. He's incapable of sprawling on his back because of his huge wings so it'll be better to lie his tired and worn out body down just like this.
 He hated to feel let down and disappointed, when he should be stay energized or at least feels cuddly enough to have some "monster-loving" moment with his lover. Badd could sensed Garou has already noticed what he's feeling right now, that's because Badd acted unusually dejected since they have finished their mission. He didn't want to make Garou worried but he can't help it.
 It's already bad that he's already depleted of his stamina, now his emotional burden makes it worse. He didn't have energy for flapping his wings to both fly and carrying Garou who still in his monster form back to their home anymore, so he's just take the last resort to stay lying down horizontally on the dirt until his body shifted back again.
 Maybe after this he could ask Garou to carry him back instead. For now, Badd just wanna sleep for awhile, surrounded by flower bush.
 Where is his boyfriend right now? Shouldn't Garou followed and joined him like usual? Like, suddenly appeared next to him without warning and immediately buried himself on his huge fluffy wings and snuggle them while holding him tightly? Whispering soothing and loving words to calm him down from battle adrenaline, or kissing him tenderly to remind how much Garou love him..
 Good. Now he's craving for all of Garou's affections. He needs them, right now. But he didn't have any energy to call him anymore..
Slowly closing his eyes, Badd was waiting for Garou's arrival for any seconds.
 ---------------------------------
 It hurts Garou's heart terribly to see his lover in a miserable mood. He can't watch him moping in sadness like this, especially on his birthday date. Of course they still could celebrate his birthday party later on the day, as it's still much time left.
 But Garou understand Badd's feeling, that deep down he felt disappointed his anticipated plan was ruined by this emergency mission.
No matter how Badd trying to hide or deny it, Garou just. Know.
 Afterall, they have been bonded since long time ago, right? That their heart practically become one: they would know what they are thinking or feeling without saying any word.. or maybe they just sharing one functional braincell?
 It's time for Garou to cheer Badd up! Maybe he could find something that would lifted Badd's mood. He observed their location's surrounding and environment, so far he's only seeing flower field with various flower plants on it. All of them kinda looked pretty--
Oh, Garou got an idea! Even though it's just a simple thing, Garou was sure Badd would appreaciate it...
 -----------------------------
 In half-sleeping state, Monster Badd could hear Garou's voice from afar, or rather his monster form's voice, there's a bit different. Followed by the sounds of both his footsteps and soft rustle of grass leaves. Until it stopped just right a few meters from where Monster Badd was sleeping.
 He called Monster Badd gently so he would wake up and sit for awhile. But he also asked him to close his eyes until he tell him otherwise. Monster Badd didn't understand what Monster Garou was planning but he complied to his requests.
 Slowly but surely, Monster Badd lifted his worn out body from the ground, brushing the dirt off from his velvety clothes, enormous wings also starts flapping to shake off any leftover dust or dirt on his body.
 Once Monster Badd was awake and changed his position into a sitting position, he was told by Monster Garou that he can open his eyes now. Right at the moment, Monster Badd could feel something was poured on his body from above.
 Curiously, he opened his eyes and looked around.
 He was surprised by Monster Garou hovering over him, while sprinkling, or more like throwing, a lots of tiny colourful flower petals on Monster Badd's hair and his pretty wings. Soon enough, Monster Badd's entire figure was decorated by those pretty flower petals.
 Still confused about what had just happened, Monster Badd found Monster Garou already standing very close, just right before him, slowly and gently tilted his chin up, and kissed him softly yet passionately. It made him letting out a whimper followed by soft moans.
He really loves it whenever Monster Garou kissing him, it feels like he consumed all the fire that "the Demon" has been offering to him from the kisses. He was in bliss.
 When Monster Garou released their kiss, he cupped and caressing Monster Badd's soft cheeks tenderly, gaze deeply into his eyes and whispering,
 "Happy Birthday, my beloved Angel. May happiness will always given to you",
 with a raspy voice, yet in very affectionate tone, before giving a lingering kiss on Monster Badd's forehead.
 Monster Badd was strucked by Monster Garou's sweet gesture. He didn't expected that his lover would gives him a thoughful surprise present like this. Yes, it was a simple thing but it's really brings him a lots of joy.
And the huge amount of love he was receiving from Garou... He feels like his heart would bursting from the happiness.
Garou really care for him, and that single truth was enough to make Badd back to his happy self.
 Then, the next thing happened truly made Monster Garou left astonished for a hot minute:
 Monster Badd was giving Monster Garou his sweetest smile and laugh in his majestic angelic form. Complete with bright light that emanating from Monster Badd's figure whenever he's in happy mood or in fighting mood. And those various tiny colourful flower petals sprinkles on his flawless body, on his silky smooth pure white Angel hair, and his soft feathered wings, somehow made him even more beautiful than before..
 For him, it was the most gorgeous thing Garou ever seen in his life. He was too stunned to move or even blinking his eyes just from witnessing majestic angelic Badd's precious smile.
And his laugh was the most mellifluous voice he ever heard, it sounds like a heavenly music in his ears.
Is this how an angel sings in heaven? He was lucky enough to have one performing it to him right now.
 Watching his lover finally back to being happy again today, in the most beautiful monster form that Garou have ever seen, on this beautiful and serene flowery scenery, it made Garou's heart fluttering.
He wants to pampering Badd more and spoiled him rotten after they get back to their home.
 Make his lover's birthday feel special today! Heroes Association's mission report be damned. Those can go to hell, Badd's well-being is the top priority right now.
 Monster Garou noticed that Monster Badd still smiling softly at him, who suddenly opened his arms wide, enthusiastically asking Monster Garou for some loving hugs. The Angel wanted to hold his Demon as tight as possible, as he also wanted to convey how grateful he is for the heartwarming gift he received before.
 With a grin full of fondness, he picked Monster Badd up and held him in his strong arms, kissing his silky soft white hair that full of tiny flower petals. While Monster Badd encircled his arms around Monster Garou's neck, and his huge white fluffy wings covered them both so they would be as close as possible in an intimate embrace.
 Neither of them had realized that some reporters and photographers were approaching while taking videos or pictures of them from afar..
 And neither of them seems to care for that, all that matters are the warm embrace, sweet nothings words and love vows they whispered softly to each other, and the love they have been sharing during their intimate moment together...
 -------------------------------
 Hours later, Badd and Garou, who are already back in their human form, were seen walking side-by-side together on their way back home in City-S. Despite still being tired as hell, in tattered clothes, and also looked a bit bloodied with some monster blood smeared on them, too. But they both seems happy, nonetheless.
 They just don't care for people around them, who are either admiring their heroic deeds or giving weird look on their battle-ragged appearance. Both only have focus on eachother, enjoying quality time by chatting casually while handholding together, re-planning for Badd's small birthday party with Zenko once they get back to home, or just sharing sneaky kisses on the cheek during walking.
 Just when they're taking a stroll in the middle of S-City downtown, something happened unexpectedly. On a big screen in the S-City downtown, there's a birthday celebration video broadcast for Badd. It consist of 3 main video contents:
Firstly, a beautiful angelic Monster Badd smiling sweetly with many tiny and pretty colourful flower petals decorating his form and his white fluffy six-wings, surrounded by flower field and green scenery, his expression looked so majestic and heavenly, truly like a godsend Angel because he rarely showing this special kind of softest smile ever,
 Secondly, a scene of Monster Garou hugged Monster Badd very tenderly, full of affection, revealing the softer side of both Garou and Badd, also showing pure sweet intimacy, emotional support, and huge amount of unconditional love that have been shared between the S-Class monster heroes,
 Lastly, a huge congratulatory message "Happy Birthday, S-Class Hero Metal Bat!", followed by the compilation of many smaller congratulatory messages from fellow heroes or important figures.
 At the end of video broadcast, people around them clapping simultanously together while apparently Garou, being the best boyfriend ever, start to sing "Happy Birthday song" for Badd in the midst of clapping. Hence everyone can't help but also followed his lead to participate in singing the song along with Garou.
 Those spontaneous and voluntary actions quickly brought Badd to tears, he's very touched by the fact everyone around him actually cared enough for him, despite he didn't ask anything from them. He feels so loved right now.
 Not to mention, once again Garou doing something wonderful to him, successfully giving a lots of joyness just to make Badd's spirit lifted again. He couldn't think if he can pay all of Garou's kindness he did today, because he knows Garou would says, "No, just let me pamper you in YOUR SPECIAL DAY. Please don't fight me on this I beg you".
 At the end of Birthday song choir, everyone cheered on him and giving a loud standing applause. Badd just flopped down sitting on the ground, he's crying so hard from the sheer happiness. Garou immediately come to his side consoling him, wiping his tears off. Once Badd stopped crying, Garou congratulate Badd again before kissing his tears streaked cheek, which causing even more louder applause.
 Applause sounds then also added with many other voices, such as cheering, cat calling, hollering, praises, congratulatory, complain for their PDA, and many more noises. Seeing all being very caring to them, Badd wanted to cry happily again. And then he’s really bawling in the middle of City-S main street, in the arms of his very confused dorky boyfriend, in the center of equally confused people’s attention.
 After a lot consoling by Garou to make Badd calmed himself again, both of them thanking all the people for their kindness. Of course it followed by everyone thanking them instead, for being very good heroes who always protected people.
 Just when Badd and Garou start to continue their walking, Badd's phone suddenly ringing. It was a call from Zenko. She questioned where are they right now and why did they still haven't at home at this hours. They feel so bad for making Zenko got worried alone in their home.
 But of course Zenko didn't forget to congratulate his dear big brother for his 22th birthday, wishing for all the happiness and prosperities for Badd. She then ended her call by saying,
"I love you, Badd-niichan! Please go home ASAP with Garou-niichan I just finished baking your birthday cake we can eat it together. Hurry up before Tama stepping on your birthday cake frosting again like 2 years ago!".
 With that, Badd urged Garou to quickened their steps, basically asking Garou to have impromptu race competition against him. Seems like got an energy boost from Fighting Spirit, Badd immediately start running towards their home leaving his boyfriend behind. Garou just smiling amusedly before joined running to catch up to his lover in a race.
 Badd was very grateful for everything that happened to him today. This is his BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!
  -THE END-
  -------------------------------
 EPILOGUE
 The next day, so many weekly heroes magazines or fashion magazines begin to publishing Monster Badd's beautiful pictures. From the photo collections, pin-ups, posters, magazine covers, or even as aesthetic photographs using his famous Birthday documentation that has been made from yesterday. The one with flower petals is the most favorite.
 Those are really loved by people, all of them. It also indirectly helped raising Badd's popularity as an S-Class hero among civillians and fellow heroes. Badd was so happy, because it seems everyone was accepting his monsterous (or angelic) form completely by now. No more ill-judgement towards him, only enthusiastic acceptance.
 Of course Garou enjoyed this trends as well. He proceed to hoard all of newest "Angel Monster" Metal Bat merchandises and premium edition of Monster Badd photo collections in their bedroom. Badd wasn't sure if he should feels flattered, happy, proud, exasperated, flustered, or embarrassed.
 While Badd still blushing hard by Garou's antics, Garou hugged Badd from behind, keeping his adorable lover in his strong arms. He whispered,
 "Don't worry babe, I just wanted to support you. Beside, I already got the best one that nobody else have: YOU. You're my beloved Angel... and I'm so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you Badd, for being the most beautiful monster, most amazing Angel for my own Demon".
 Badd smiled happily in respond, he turned his head a bit to catch Garou's lips in a heartful kiss.
 "You're welcome, Demon-boy", he answered as Garou tightening their loving embrace.
  -TRUE HAPPY END-
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 Notes:
 If there’s anyone who still haven’t know about the origin of this AU, these are the illustrations for Angel Monster Badd, drawn by @the-goddessfighter, which are used for the story (he looks so beautiful in these drawings, tysm Temperans-sama! 💖):
 ‱https://the-goddessfighter.tumblr.com/post/625111244297453568/ (Badd's monster form concept art)
‱https://the-goddessfighter.tumblr.com/post/626035692265488384/ (NSFW! with Demon Monster Garou)
 So, this idea was created when I was thinking about,
"What if Angel Monster Badd smiling sweetly for Demon Monster Garou with tiny flower petals decorating his hair, his body and his six-wings while surrounded by colourful flower field?".
 I really wanted to see him like that, the imagery seems beautiful in my imagination. So soft, so pretty, so majestic...
I know Badd is already a very beautiful man, but his Seraphim-like monster form, especially his angelic feature combined with tiny flowery decoration... While giving his special smile for his lover..
I'M MELTING FROM THE SWEETNESS 😳💕💖😇🌾đŸŒșđŸŒŒđŸŒ·đŸŒč
 If there's someone willing to make an illustration for this particular image, or just any scene from this story, I will be forever grateful for that! 😳😍👍💖✹
Pleaaseee make this happen aaaa-- 😣💩😭🙏💝
 I hope you like it, Temperans-sama! Just think of it as my birthday cake treat for you, please enjoy it 😉🎂🍰💝
Also, this is my grateful gift after you gave me the MAJESTIC Monster Demon&Angel Batarou (the HOLY F*CKℱ art đŸ˜‹đŸ‘đŸ˜ˆđŸ‘‰đŸ‘ŒđŸ’ŠđŸ”„đŸ’•đŸ’–đŸ˜‡) on last month, thank you so muuuch I LOVE IT! đŸ˜˜đŸ’‹â€đŸ’œđŸ’™đŸ’–đŸ’đŸ’
 On the other hand, although my writing skill is very far from being decent or enjoyable (actually I don't have that talent whatsoever I'm just trying to scribble down a bunch of random headcanons, lol), I still want to share happiness by sharing it to everyone in the fandom!
Because this year I can celebrate my birthday with Batarou fandom. I love you guys! 😚💕
 Thank you so much for accepting me in the fandom *bows deeply* 😭🙏🙇💕💖
   Temperans_ First: this is beautiful by any measure, second: this must be the most passive-aggressive media stalking ever. They were lucky they were just doing sweet things. And if the temperature rises, doing what we already know in the field of flowers???? OMG what would they have put on the screens? I want to think that they "respectfully" would have left them alone. Anyway, this gave me a lot of encouragement to start classes again tomorrow. I am so grateful that you took a whole month to prepare for this. You are a valuable member of the fondom and no one can deny it.
 Dedicated for:
@the-goddessfighter, @beautifulnightmareus, @kaincuro, @metalbatandzenko , @guby1620, @irisvseyelash, @jusqu-une-etudiante, @garous-nipple, @charmehs, @aforrestofstuff, @dies-first, @personne-tmblr, @mythic-blood, @justin-peudeau, @nancchan, @no1deahowthiswork, @freedomaboveallelse, @rayadraws, @guppys-paw, @mydearmagnoliamay
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inawickedlittletown · 4 years
Text
I’m With You (22/22)
Summary:
Having a crush was nothing to be ashamed of
lying to the family and friends of said crush about being the guy’s boyfriend, that was a whole other problem. When Buck saves the life of Andrew Diaz and accidentally makes a nurse think that he’s Andrew’s boyfriend, Buck soon finds himself lying to Andrew’s firefighter friends/coworkers as well as Andrew’s family including Andrew’s very suspicious and attractive brother, Eddie.
Based on the 1995 movie While You Were Sleeping.
Words: 4,916
Notes: And we are at the end. Enjoy. 
Read on Ao3
Masterpost
Previous Chapter
–
Eddie saw the pictures before he heard about the get together at Chim’s apartment. Karen had posted a few pictures on Instagram and Eddie had just happened to open the app in time to see them. The thing that struck him the most was that Buck looked happy. He was smiling wide standing between Hen and Karen and then in another with his sister. And then in the last picture, it was Buck, Chim, Hen, and Andrew. 
So, it was to Andrew that Eddie went first. “How’s Buck?” 
“He’s good. Which doesn’t mean that you’re off the hook on talking to him.”
Eddie shrugged him off. 
“He really is good, Eddie,” Andrew said. 
Hen brought up the dinner later, filling Bobby in on Buck and more specifically that Buck was training to become a firefighter. 
“I think that would be good for him,” Bobby said. 
Eddie didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t expected that at all. Buck was going to be a firefighter. 
A week later, he watched Maddie enter the station. She was on her own and Eddie was up on one of the trucks doing some maintenance so she didn’t notice him. Eddie got to watch as Hen greeted her, but then it was Chimney that she left with. 
“What’s up with that?” he asked Hen later when they were leaving the station. 
“Chim said something about Maddie needing a comprehensive movie guide,” Hen said with a shrug. 
“Is Buck really okay?” Eddie asked. 
Hen gave a slight nod. “He’s doing something he loves and he has his sister back. I think — I think Buck is okay. He’ll be okay even if you never talk through whatever you’re still angry about. But I think the two of you should talk.” 
“He should be the one to—”
Hen raised a hand to stop him. “What, to apologize? He sort of did that already. Andrew isn’t even holding it against him, so I don’t get why you are.” 
“I’m not holding—”
“You are,” Hen said. “But you shouldn’t.”
He couldn’t make himself call. Or text. And then, when he finally built up the courage to return to Coffee Time to see if he could catch Buck there, Buck wasn’t there. Not the first time he stopped by. Not the second. The third time that he went in and didn’t find Buck, Eddie finally asked the person at the counter. 
“Buck doesn’t work here anymore,” Buck’s former co-worker told him which meant that Eddie had to actually call him or text him or show up at his apartment. None of which felt like something he could actually do. 
He did need to do something, though, because Buck was a constant thought in his mind. He was past the anger and past all the resentment he’d felt about the guilt that Buck had made him feel and instead he just missed him. He was reminded of Buck constantly. Legolas alone could bring forth memories and then there was everything else. Everyone else who still had a connection to him and saw him if not regularly, at least they did see him. 
All of it came to a head when he was over at abuela’s house with Christopher. Andrew was supposed to join them but he was running late so while Christopher was outside with Legolas, Eddie had a moment with his abuela. 
“No estás bien,” she said. “Te veo triste, mijo.” 
[“You’re not okay.” she said. “I can see you’re sad, kiddo”]
“I’m okay, abuela,” Eddie responded. 
“This has to do with Buck, doesn’t it? Ese día en la fiesta de Andrew, todo lo que pasó con Buck. Todavía estás enojado?”
[“...that day at Andrew’s party, everything that happened with Buck. You’re still angry?”]
Maybe there was some lingering anger but it wasn’t even directed at Buck. It was more that Eddie wished things were different and that somehow if Eddie hadn’t gone and lost Buck’s friendship that something more could have been possible. The potential for more between them...it felt like it was lost. 
“Eddie, quĂ© estĂĄs esperando si lo extrañas tanto? Andrew dice que Buck estĂĄ bien. Va ser un bombero.”
[“Eddie, what are you waiting for if you miss him so much? Andrew says that Buck is okay. He’s going to be a firefighter.”]
“It’s not just that I miss him,” Eddie said and he took a deep breath. “I think...I think I love him. I think he’s the only person I’ve met since Shannon that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with and even though I like to think that I actually do know him, he lied. He lied to all of us. So how much of what he told me is real? And then there’s...well, who knows how he feels about me.” 
Abuela gave him a pointed look but she didn’t get to say anything because Pepa arrived. While Eddie could easily figure out that his abuela wasn’t too bothered by any of what Buck had done, Pepa was different and Eddie just couldn’t tell how she felt mostly because she didn’t ever bring up Buck. And if his name came up, she raised an eyebrow and said nothing more. 
“Didn’t know you’d be here, Eddie,” she said. “I just spoke to your mom. She and your dad are coming back next week?” 
Eddie nodded. The only part about his parents returning to LA that he liked was that they were going to be staying with Andrew. Like Pepa, his parents had said very little on the whole Buck debacle. Eddie suspected that they’d talked to Andrew about it. Maybe Andrew had put them off on talking to him about Buck. Eddie didn’t mind that too much because if Andrew was pushy, his mother was much worse.
“I think mom thinks she’s going to convince Andrew not to go through with it,” Eddie said. 
Pepa chuckled. “I wish her luck. And how are you doing, Edmundo?” 
“He’s missing Buck,” Abuela said. “I miss him too.” 
“He lied to us,” Pepa said. 
“Pepa, no seas asi. Ves a este chico, esta enamorado.” 
[“Pepa, don’t be like that. Look at this boy, he’s in love.”]
Eddie just groaned. He felt Pepa’s hand land on his hair, running her fingers through it gently and soothing. “Eddito, if you really feel like that, what are you waiting for?” 
“You just said it. He lied to us and I have no idea how he feels or what will—”
Her hand tugged at his hair suddenly and he yelped. “Stop thinking so much. You’ll drive yourself crazy. You just have to talk to him.”
“Right, like that’s easy.” But they were right. He did need to talk to Buck. 
Pepa was looking at him still. 
“Look, I can’t pretend I’m not still mildly upset about all of this with Buck. But, I also know that he didn’t pretend to be anything different than who he is with us. And I’m sure once I see him again, it’ll be easy to forgive him.” 
—
Buck was so busy with his last few weeks of training and how grueling it all was to notice much outside of what it meant to be so close to being done. So, he didn’t realize that Maddie and Chim hung out more than he hung out with either of them. He also failed to open any of his mail or check his phone — mostly because he knew his bills weren’t due for a few weeks yet and everyone that was important in his life knew that he was too busy to do much more than train and sleep and as such would understand when Buck didn’t respond right away. 
And then when those final weeks came to an end, came the testing. The written portion and the physical all of it combined to measure all the skills that Buck had learned over the last few months. It felt surreal to have gotten to the end and even more surreal when there were results in front of him and he passed. Top marks. Any station would have him. 
“But there is one that has put in a request for you, Buckley,” one of his instructors, Danny, said. 
The 118. Buck just didn’t know if that was what he wanted. Andrew was already off of the 118 and as much as Buck loved Chim and Hen, he didn’t know if it would be possible for him to work with Eddie. He also hadn’t seen Bobby yet since everything happened but Bobby had clearly put through the request to get him so he had to be okay with it. 
“The 118?” Buck asked. 
“You have friends there, Buckley?”
“You could say that,” Buck said. “I just don’t know if going to work with them is a good idea.”
Danny touched Buck’s shoulder. “The people you work with on this job, those people become family. You’ll spend more time with them than you expect and you will know every single one of them better than you’ll know anyone else because it’s that closeness that makes this work. It’s trust that makes it easier for you to do your job. We leave everything behind to do this, to focus on saving lives, but it’s far easier when you’re carrying the burden of this job with those you work with.”
Trust. It came down to that, to how Buck knew that Eddie didn’t trust him. 
“I think I have to turn that offer down,” Buck said. 
“Think on it, Buckley. You don’t have to decide now. Captain Nash, he’s one of the best. Maybe talk to your friends before you decide. No one will be assigned officially until tomorrow.” 
“Right,” Buck said. “Thanks.” 
It wouldn’t change for him, he knew. He wouldn’t do that to Eddie, he wouldn’t encroach on his space, push in where he wasn’t wanted even if it would disappoint Hen and Chim and maybe even Bobby.
Somehow, it wasn’t Maddie that he called to talk about it, though, but Andrew. And Andrew agreed to meet him for coffee at Coffee Time. 
Ali was there when Buck arrived. Buck joined the line while he waited for Andrew. He had almost made it to the front of the line when Andrew entered and Buck felt a little like he’d gone back in time. Andrew pushed the door open and he was just as handsome as ever as he walked in. Buck couldn’t help but smile, remembering when he’d been behind that counter admiring this man. 
“Buck!” he said as he approached and he pulled Buck into a tight hug. “How are you?” 
“I’m good. Great, even.” 
“Wait, wasn’t today...wait, are you a probie officially?” Andrew asked. 
“That I am,” Buck said and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. “And it seems like Bobby is trying to pull some strings to have me join the 118. That’s, um, that’s why I asked you to meet me.” 
“Yeah, I know,” Andrew said. “I spoke to him about it and we all felt you’d fit in perfectly in my spot.”
Buck took a breath, but they had reached the counter at that point and Ali was there with both of their coffee orders ready and a plate with danishes. Andrew picked up his cup and the plate and motioned towards one of the empty tables. 
“So, you two together officially, now?” Ali asked. 
“What? No. Andrew isn’t into men. But we’re friends now.” 
“Well, he’s still really nice to look at,” Ali said complete with an eyebrow wiggle. “Think there’s a chance he could—”
Buck rolled his eyes. He put a bill down in front of her and grabbed his coffee. 
“I’m just saying, Buck, you could put in a good word for me.”
Buck laughed. Andrew was waiting for him at a table. 
“You don’t want to join the 118,” Andrew said after Buck sat down. 
“I — I don’t know, Andrew. I mean I love Hen and Chim and Bobby and I liked everyone else from the station well enough but there’s Eddie to consider too. I doubt he’d be happy to have me around.”
Buck averted his gaze, staring at his coffee instead. 
Andrew chuckled. “You haven’t spoken to him? I thought — Eddie said he was going to talk to you weeks ago.”
“I haven’t spoken to him,” Buck said and he hated how a burst of hope ran through him. He glanced back up at Andrew. “I’ve been...I’ve been busy, though. Is he, is he mad at me about it, still?”
“I don’t think he is,” Andrew said. “If he ever really was. Look, Buck, my brother is stubborn. We both know that. He needed time. Maybe less than he got if we’re honest, but he did...and more importantly, you needed time. And look at you, look at what you’ve done. What you are. You did all of this on your own and you needed to.”
Buck didn’t know how to respond. He took a gulp of his coffee. It was hot, maybe a bit too hot, but the slight burn on his tongue felt good. 
“You should talk to him,” Andrew said. “If you want. Or you should join the 118. Or you can go somewhere else and be whoever and whatever you want to be. All, I’m saying, is that this is all up to you, Buck. You made a choice to save my life and maybe you got something out of that too—”
“By lying,” Buck said, interrupting. “By pretending that I was someone to you and by continuing that charade even when I...when I knew it was going to blow up in my face.” 
Andrew’s fingers were cold when they touched Buck’s hand, taking it into a tight grip. “You did something stupid, but not malicious. And you’re better for it. I know my family, I know the effect that they have on people and I’m not just talking about Pepa and abuela and my parents, but everyone. And you needed them. You needed their kindness and their acceptance and it’s entirely possible that we all needed someone like you. Even, Eddie. Maybe especially Eddie.” 
“I don’t know what to say.” 
“Just answer one thing for me,” Andrew said and he was smirking, full teeth. There was mischief there which meant that Buck couldn’t help but worry. 
“What?” Buck asked. 
“Do you love him? Eddie, that is?” 
Buck’s hand fell away from Andrew’s. And he knew the answer. He absolutely knew the answer which didn’t make it easy to admit. 
“You do,” Andrew said. “That’s why this is so hard. Go talk to Eddie.” 
“Right now?” Buck asked. 
“Why keep waiting?”
“Because I have no idea how to do this,” Buck said. 
“Tell the truth. That always helps,” Andrew said and then he pulled out a pen from somewhere and wrote down Eddie’s address. “Go.” 
“But—”
“Go,” Andrew said, even more insistent. 
Buck looked at Andrew for a beat longer and then glanced back at Ali. “You know, my former co-worker over there wanted me to put in a good word.” 
Andrew laughed, loud and surprised. 
“Of course, I should also add that the first time I stepped into your house there was a bra hanging off of a lamp so I don’t know if I should actually encourage that.” 
“Buck, stop getting distracted and go,” Andrew said pointedly. 
—
Eddie’s yard was not as big as Andrew’s, but it was enclosed and it meant that Legolas had somewhere to run around with Christopher. Eddie did sometimes take him over to Andrew’s place so he could have a bit more space or over to his abuela’s house. On a few occasions, Eddie had even taken Legolas and Christopher to the dog park, but Eddie always worried about the other dogs getting too close to Christopher. Although, as it turned out, Legolas could be pretty protective of him. 
Christopher and Legolas were both out in the yard and Eddie had been keeping his eyes out on them through the kitchen window while he made him and Christopher sandwiches. Christopher was sitting on the grass and petting the dog which meant that Eddie felt okay with leaving them to it for a moment and going to the bathroom. He had barely closed the door before he heard Christopher shouting and some barking. 
“Legolas! Legolas, come back!” 
Eddie ran out. Christopher was standing with only one of his crutches. Legolas was gone. Eddie didn’t see him anywhere. He rushed towards Christopher, who reached for him. 
“Hey, what happened?” Eddie said as he picked him up. “Are you okay?”
“He ran,” Christopher said. “Like when the earthquake happened. Dad, do you think this is another earthquake?” 
It was a real possibility. Eddie was aware that animals acted strange whenever things like earthquakes happened. 
“I don’t know, Chris,” Eddie said and yet the dog was nowhere to be found. “I’m sure he’s around here somewhere. He can’t get out of the yard.” 
At least, Eddie was sure that he couldn’t. In the time that they’d had Legolas, he hadn’t once tried to get out of the yard. Eddie bent to pick up Christopher’s fallen crutch just as he heard barking, but it was definitely not coming from anywhere in the yard. 
“Daddy, I hear him,” Christopher said. 
It sounded like he was somewhere in the front of the house. So maybe he did have a way to get out of the yard or the door hadn’t been latched properly. 
Eddie set Christopher down and headed to the door leading out of the yard to the front of the house. He heard Christopher following behind him. Eddie stopped short just as he was rounding the house because Legolas was there wiggling excitedly, his tail wagging to and fro as he jumped around and his whole body shook with excitement. Buck was on the ground doing some mixture of petting and hugging Legolas while the dog licked his face. 
“Buck,” Eddie whispered, so low that Buck definitely didn’t hear it. 
Then, Christopher arrived and he didn’t pause like Eddie did. And he yelled, “Buck!” 
Buck glanced at them, then, and he smiled that blinding smile that made Eddie suddenly remember how attracted he was to this man. Buck was there in front of them. He was smiling. He was at Eddie’s house, hugging Eddie’s dog and in the next moment hugging Christopher and laughing. Eddie could only watch. 
“Hi,” Buck said and he had Christopher up in his arms. Legolas walked alongside him. Christopher was speaking too, explaining something or other to Buck, but Eddie couldn’t be bothered to pay him any attention because Buck was right there looking at Eddie with those sea-like eyes. 
“Hi,” Eddie said back after a long beat. “You should come inside.”
Buck nodded. 
Eddie wanted to touch him. He wanted to grasp his hand or his elbow or his shoulder. He wanted to get close enough so that he could smell Buck’s aftershave. He wanted to pull him into his arms and hold onto him tightly. All of those things, he wanted them so that he could be sure that it really was Buck in front of him and he wasn’t experiencing some wild hallucination.
The elusive man that he’d been trying to get ahold of for the last few weeks with no results was there with him and his son and his dog. Eddie had been almost convinced that Buck was avoiding him for all that his attempts to find him were futile. Eddie had even gone as far as to get Maddie’s number off of Chim only for Maddie to tell him to call Buck or show up at Buck’s apartment. Eddie had attempted both a few times on top of texting him and somehow just couldn’t get a response. 
Eddie led Buck inside the house through the front door. Buck only set Christopher down once they were inside and Legolas seemed to want to stick as close to Buck as possible. Eddie didn’t blame him. 
“I was — I’m making sandwiches,” Eddie said. It felt awkward. “Do you—” Eddie cleared his throat. “—do you want to join us?” 
“Uh. Sure,” Buck said. 
Christopher led Buck to the table and Eddie left them to go into the kitchen where he tried not to freak out too much as he pulled out more bread for the third sandwich he was going to be making. He could hear Buck and Christopher talking. Christopher laughed and Buck chuckled a few times. Once, Legolas barked. 
Eddie could only take so long making the sandwiches before he had to take them out of the kitchen. There was a lot to talk about. Apologies to be made. Explanations. But Christopher was there and they couldn’t discuss any of that while Christopher was with them. But, Buck was there. Buck was with them. It was enough to know that Buck had come to them. 
—
Buck had intended to take his time walking up to Eddie’s house, to talk himself into knocking on the door and to maybe not get in his head so much that he couldn’t actually knock. But then, he heard a bark and suddenly golden fur was running at him and Legolas was jumping at him until Buck just dropped to the ground to pet his favorite dog. 
“I’ve missed you so much, boy,” Buck whispered into his fur. “Did you miss me too?” Legolas nudged him and pressed into his space, his whole body moving with all the excitement. 
He was so distracted by Legolas, that Buck didn’t even realize Eddie had come out to find the dog until Christopher was calling his name. 
The next thing he knew, he was hugging Christopher and in a strange sort of daze, he followed Eddie into the house and Eddie disappeared into the kitchen and Buck didn’t know if he could stomach anything Eddie brought out. Christopher was a good distraction. The boy filled him in on a few things. He told Buck about a new coloring book and about Legolas being his dog and about a cartoon he was watching and Buck lost himself to talking to Christopher for a while until Eddie came back. 
Tension hung in the air between them and Buck had expected nothing less. Eddie had welcomed him in, though, and he hadn’t asked Buck to leave. It made Buck think that he’d made the right decision in going to see him. 
He tried to eat, but couldn’t stomach it. His stomach had been taken up by his nerves and maybe in part by the hope he felt and the awe of having Eddie in front of him again. Eddie looked good. He always looked good. 
After he finished eating, Christopher allowed himself to be distracted and settled in front of the tv, Legolas sitting next to him. Eddie motioned for Buck to go to the kitchen. 
“I’m officially a firefighter,” Buck said for lack of something else to say. 
“Oh,” Eddie said. “Congrats. I had no idea.” 
Buck nodded. “I, um, I probably would have never thought of going for it without everything that happened.”
“You’re welcome, I guess,” Eddie said with a snap in his tone. 
“I’m sorry,” Buck said. “I hope you believe me this time. That I never meant to hurt you. Any of you. I came so close to telling you so many times. Something always stopped me — interruptions or my own head. And I should have let it go on for so long or at all, but I’m going to be honest here, Eddie, and just say that I don’t actually regret it. I don’t regret the lie or getting to know you — everyone. I don’t regret any of that. I couldn’t.” 
“You don’t regret it,” Eddie said in a whisper. 
Eddie crossed his arms and he leaned back against his counter and Buck had no idea what to expect, but the one thing he did know to do was to wait and see what Eddie might say. It helped that Eddie didn’t look angry. Mostly, he just looked like he was trying to figure out what to say. 
“At first I thought...I wished you’d never done it,” Eddie said after a beat. “More and more lately, I’ve realized I don’t wish that. I was...I am angry more at myself for not questioning you more and for not realizing sooner that you couldn’t have been with Andrew. I was doubting my own knowledge of my brother...I was doubting everything I was seeing and I think I let so much just go because I wanted you around even if you were my brother’s boyfriend.”
Buck had definitely not expected that. Eddie was frowning in that cute way with lines on his forehead so prominent that Buck wanted to reach over and ease the tension. Really, he could do with touching Eddie in any way or form. He really did love him. Earlier, when he answered Andrew, Buck hadn’t fully known it. But he did. Having Eddie in front of him, it cemented it. 
“You came really close to the truth,” Buck said. “A few times. The day Andrew woke up, I was gonna tell you. I was so ready to and then Chim was telling us he was awake and I was so sure that it was all over anyway.” 
Eddie gasped and he blushed, not quite looking at Buck. “I was so mad that day. Jealous. I was going to kiss you before Chim interrupted.”
“Oh,” Buck said.
Eddie’s eyes met his then and Buck had to swallow before he made the decision to be brave. Buck had been different once, the kind of person that was bold and didn’t hesitate to encroach in someone’s space. That was before Abby and before he realized that all the loneliness he was feeling wouldn’t go away if he had someone warming his bed. In some ways, that had made it worse. 
“Uh, you should — you should kiss me now,” Buck said, moving even closer. 
Eddie’s eyes widened and darkened all at once and Buck lost himself in them as Eddie closed the small bit of space between them. Buck watched him and when Eddie didn’t do anything other than to stand so close to him that he could feel his warmth, Buck reached up to cup his face. Eddie melted into his touch, his lips let out a gasp. Buck closed his eyes and he leaned into Eddie’s space. 
“I love you,” he whispered before he kissed him. 
Their first kiss had been hard and urgent and Eddie had been in control, his anger and his jealousy and everything else he’d been feeling because of Buck’s lies had been everpressent in the way that he’d wanted to show Buck how much he wanted him. This kiss was not that. 
This kiss was tentative and soft and slow. It was an apology and a declaration of love. When Eddie whispered a moan, Buck smiled against his lips. 
“I love you,” Buck said again, their lips brushing lightly as he spoke. He opened his eyes and Eddie was already looking at him. “Eddie?” 
Eddie pressed their lips together into another kiss. His arms brought Buck flush against him and Buck couldn’t think while he could feel all of Eddie against him, his muscles and his toned stomach and how Eddie kissed away from his mouth, nipping at his jawline up to his ear. 
“I love you too,” he whispered, his lips brushing Buck’s earlobe. “Even if you are a liar.”
“One lie,” Buck said back. “And one I won’t ever regret.”
Eddie chuckled. “Just as long as you don’t pretend to be anyone else’s boyfriend.”
“Am I yours?” Buck asked, a tinge of nervousness travelled through him. 
“I think that’s obvious,” Eddie said. “Otherwise, I don’t know what will happen the next time you save someone, Firefighter Buckley.” 
Buck couldn’t help but laugh. “I love you so much, Eddie. Been kinda miserable without you.” 
“Serves you right,” Eddie said, but he kissed Buck again, just a peck. “But I love you too.”
“Good,” Buck whispered back, dropping his head onto Eddie’s shoulder and dropping a kiss there. 
There were probably still a few things to clear up and more to catch up on, but all of that could come later. It made up the mere details in everything they’d been through. In the meanwhile, Buck just held onto Eddie and Eddie held onto him. 
“You know, we do have to thank Andrew for all of this,” Buck whispered. 
“Nope,” Eddie said. “He doesn’t get any satisfaction out of any of this.” 
—
“Welcome to the 118, Firefighter Buckley,” Bobby said, smiling at Buck. 
Eddie didn’t try to hide his own smile, Andrew noted and Buck was definitely grinning from ear to ear. He was already in uniform and there was an ease to the way that he walked and how Andrew could tell even from where he was standing that Buck felt like he was at home. Hen nudged him from where she stood next to him and Andrew glanced at her. 
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad this all worked out,” she said, “but I don’t even get when that all happened with Buck and Eddie.” 
Andrew chuckled. “You know, I think most of it happened while I was sleeping.” 
–
Notes: This fic has been such a joy to write. I just want to thank everyone that’s read this and that has left commens/kudos because that means so much and one of the reasons this fic got finished by keeping me writing even when I began to lose interest in working on this. 
I hope this ending was satisfying for all of you and just thank you all so much. Let me know what you all thought. :)
Tagging: @tranquility-or-chaos @diazbuckleysworld @stilesgivesmefeels
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andryuska · 6 years
Note
✧
send ✧ for my muse to speak about their relationship with yours ( selectively accepting ) // @dearbewildered
“ my dear pierre. ” there is as much fondness in his voice as there is vexation —- a memory of the past, a tension of the present, combining to wrinkle his brow. his hesitation does not come from the fact that he does not know what to say, but rather that he is unsure of where to start. “ i cannot remember meeting him, you must know. oh, it did happen at some ball or social gathering, but the specifics have long since fled me, and i imagine it was the result of some business of our fathers. there is scarcely another way i should come to know —- my childhood was not riddled with opportunities for friendship, but even when we were young, there was something of us both that made our fondness more than a passing thing. himself, and my sister of course, were the only other children i truly grew up with —- most of the others were of no interest to me, especially after 
 but we need not speak of it. ”
( he’s never keen to bring up the death of his mother, or the change it enacted in him ---- the beginning of a long life of seeking isolation and imposing harsh distance. )
“ it was only childhood games at first, but as we grew, intellectual interests became our common topic as well —- he is smart, you must understand, but i was older, and so i thought sometimes to impress him with my wit, to be more arrogant than i ought to have been. harmlessly, i’m certain, and i do remember it fondly —- and of course, when i went to tour europe, i wrote to only himself and masha and my father regularly, and to no others, for there were no others to interest me. i thought to visit him when i returned, but as soon as i did, he himself was off and —- well, several years passed, naturally, and lise 
 by the time we were again in common company, we were both adults.
“ make no mistake, however, the closeness and familiarity remained. there is no other that i should feel as comfortable around as he ; no one who i might think to share these vexing emotions with. i trust him entirely, and though he blunders —- and he often blunders —- i still find myself quite interested in arguing his opinions. he tries to be a good man, which might be his most significant mistake. there is no good to seek, and so whatever it is that he is after, i am unsure. he ought to focus instead on finding himself a career, i should think. it would be a greater use of his intelligence, to be sure, and i think he might be rather good at some things. usefulness might suit him better than recklessness and trouble. i’m still quite ashamed over the bear incident, you must understand —- i know him to be better than the trash with whom he associates. i want the best of him, i think. i want him to be better. ”
a pause. speaking of the past is only pleasant when it comes to pierre, his friend though all that had happened. but this wretched present still exists, and burdens him so —- he knows that the words he’s speaking are nearly irrelevant, and that the fondness between them has become a strained thing. he knows he has failed —- they have both failed —- and that what has broken between them won’t be fixed, not be closeness or conversation or love.
what is broken between them isn’t something of their relationship at all, but the result of two wearied souls, fracturing under some unseen and different weight, shattering separately and unable to reach out to save the other. ( and even this is not true —- because andrei is the only one who will not —- can not —- reach out. even for his best friend. )
“ life has its burdens, of course, and since —- i have busied myself since natasha’s refusal, and i shouldn’t wish to bother him with this grief, with the want for —- with the need to go away. being around him has become so difficult, so tense, and i can hardly bear the feeling of it, of being alone still when he is in the room, and wanting to speak but not —- the words don’t always come, and i don’t think he should want to hear them, or i don’t think i want him to hear any of it, so i have had to —- distance helps, is what i mean to say. detaching myself from him, from this friendship, it has never been easy, it will never be pleasant, but it is entirely necessary, and i hope only that he might forgive me —- that he will not despise me. it is the last thing i want, to lose him entirely.
“ pierre is a friend that i want to keep, but not closely. not so much so that his warmth might infringe upon my isolation, and force from me some upheaval of peace by —- by being present at all. there are times when i simply wish ---- no. no, it doesn’t matter, i should not say. ”
( there are times when he wishes pierre would reach out to him instead, take the first step, and tell him all would be well, and do as andrei has bid him not to do. there are times when he longs painfully for nothing more than the embrace ---- the soothing kiss ---- of his lost friend. )
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