#someone once close to my heart

[dent-de-leon]

After watching Mollymauk sacrifice himself to save the rest of the Mighty Nein twice, after the resurrection ritual he poured his whole heart into fails to bring his Circus Man back…

Do you think Caleb tries to find an item enchanted with Death Ward to give to Kingsley as a gift? Do you think about how the Periapt or Wound Closure couldn’t save Molly, but Caleb still took it anyway? Do you think he’d ever want to return the favor, give Tealeaf a little charm to keep him safe—

#widomauk is breaking my heart once again #anyway #tell me Caleb doesn’t practice the resurrection ritual over and over again #just in case #tell me he doesn’t try to learn more abjuration spells and starts staying close to his circus man #the next time they’re in a big fight #tell me Caleb wouldn’t be extra protective of this person he went through so much to finally get back #someone who has a track record of sacrificing themselves again and again—

[orcgirlcock]

i need to kiss someone right now. i need to hold their face as i lean in for the kiss. i need to feel their lips against mine and have our tongues slide across each other. i need to feel the slight hesitation before they finally give in and kiss me back with everything they've got. i need to feel the saliva stringing between our mouths. i need to feel their hands pulling me closer, desperate to feel all of me

#i just woke up from a dream where one of my friends wanted to kiss me but was too shy about it #but i could tell they wanted it so i gently rubbed their face and leaned in most of the way #and let them close the distance. they were still nervous until i slipped my tongue into their mouth #in which case all worry left their head and they kissed me back proper #and it was everything I've ever wanted in a kiss. but now im awake completely unkissed #I'm tired of getting teased by my dreams like that.. #i get stuck with all this vivid passionate imagery and no fucking outlet #i feel so pathetic yearning this hard but all my peers have had their first kisses #friends that i wanted to kiss going and kissing eachother in front of me just for the hell of it #the girlfriend i dated for longest refused to kiss me. i got like. maybe 2 cheek kisses? never once on the lips #even when i asked she would say no. i dont resent her for it but Man did it hurt #the closest I've ever gotten was one of my friends shotgunning me hits from his bong #every time my heart flutters and i want to kiss him for real #ive just been searching for someone to kiss me for a very long time #and ive just never found them...

[derpinette]

sometimes i will get bored & go through someone's entire blog since its creation

#& if they have their blog made unsearchable therefore no archive to pick posts from i take it as a challenge #& i really read every post not just skimming i gave up archives caus i find it hard to pay attention to individual posts #plus you never see the full tags & clearly from my postings they serve as the single most important part of a post #the actual post is more of like a title or a sort of epigraph #& i am interested in the Posters themselves like i feel compelled to absorb&gather as much information about them as possible #in an effort to understand them ( as well as myself Many epiphanies & revelations came to me from this activity i recommend it ) #i just did this BTW not saying who but god if you never knew of her you totally missed out on the best Poaster tumblr has ever had to offer #her mind was unlike any other & her influence on me is so noticeable even today. wishing her well today & always #also (moving on from that) i even constantly have like 40 tumblr blog tabs open at all times #some that are even i think 3 years old now #i never close them they keep me company i will not really click on yhem either To be honest but those are like my friends My chums; #on my phone as well two year old tabs from when i was still in highschool of tumblr blogs i was reading #i just have so much Love in my heart for Posters real genuine love not interpersonal just as an Observer #well kind of interpersonal when it comes to some #so if you have a tracker & you see someone from north africa spending hours or even days or months on your blog #that would be me #i actually did spend months once back when blogs opened on the side i never shut my laptop off & my tabs are always saved #had to go back & scroll a little to keep the page active to not refresh & i got as far back as 2010 i think #because their blog did not have an archive but NOTHING will stop me OK if you got a Beautiful Mind or Gift Of Curation #i will do anything in my power to enjoy it. without disturbing you ( as much as i can anyway )

[quietwingsinthesky]

know that if i ship a character with one incarnation of the doctor, it automatically extends to all of them. i can’t be held back.

#this is why war/river rotstes in my brain constantly #its like. this is the part of himself he drove out of his mind. out of his history. locked down so tight because he couldn’t look at it. #and so much of river is. so much of her she cannot look directly at. she can only use it. she was trained as a child assassin? then she’ll #use that to get herself out of any situation. because she couldn’t. once upon a time. she couldn’t. but she can now. #but that gravity well of the inescapable past that hurt you worse than anything ever could. they could find something there. #common ground. perhaps. and the war doctor is rough but he is not unkind. #he did not close his eyes and think of the children that would be lost and make the choice with a cold heart. #he could not save them on his own. and river could not be saved. but they must go on. they must. #and in the same way that river knows the doctor’s name. the fact that she carries a picture of this face alongside the others. that she #knows this part of him exists is important to me. #also she should get to kiss that old man #but mostly its about the shared understanding of how they were shaped into the person they are. the thing that would make someone look at #their past and decide they have to be Other than a person. an oncoming storm. or a psychopath. because how can you be just a person and live #with what happened to you. better to give yourself a word for others to view you as. rather than let them see something you didn’t plan for. #there’s much to dig into here i swear im not insane

[solomonssock]

Made my mc and I as sheep!! Ty @gracedcoup for this awesome picrew. If you want to make one, you can here!!

#poll results came in today and were just what i expected #in retaliation to the norm my MC pursues Mo #solomonssock speaks #i am going to dump about my thoughts bc seeing everyones cute MCs made me make my own #i still havent figured out her name but i thought it would be funny if we had the same first name and similar last names so that #when the summons were accepted we both showed up and were like LOL #listen //spoiler for season 1// i am not trying to get choked out by Belphegor but will jump in to try and stop him #she has all magical prowess and i have none but hey my background makes me pretty good for political and diplomatic work #aaa my mc is so cool tho i adore her and she is someone im always handing the aux to #her solomon and i can make an anti anti league to all other leagues #its a support group really #tier list of worst cooks goes solomon me then mammon but she is a great cook #i havent figured out their dynamics with everyone but she definitely has heart eyes for Mo and probably really close with Solomon and Satan #which is funny because then their initials spell out ASS LMAOOOO #im all into doing student council work since i kind of do it rn but she wouldnt love it and would probabky blow it off if she could #but she wouldnt bc theres no way in hell she'll let lucifer nag her she thinks its aggravating #i am sure no one is reading this but if you are i hope you're having a great day and remember to look up at the sky every once in a while #it'll remind you not to be too hard on yourself and not to take it all too seriously #ok back to writing

[datastate]

i really wish people i don't even know would stop acting like my art is made specifically for them. even joking tags like "ooh a treat for me?" make me uncomfortable bc of past experience. i don't even want to mention people who rb it as "i look so nice here! great art op" or something of the like. how hard is it for the latter to switch to something more simple like "the design is nice! ..." please... i do like sharing my art but please please please stop pretending it's only something for you to use.

#even once there was someone who - without my permission - used my art to identify an introject #which. sure. fine. but i was in the same server and they would only ever talk to me abt my interpretation or reply to art of #that character - a character who was very close to my heart - with shit like this #it made me so uncomfortable. #and honestly frustrated. #jestersvaguely #negative #i don't know. just stop it please

[niuxita21]

Tú puedes intentar desafanarte Incluso convencerme de engañarte No importará mil veces el por qué Te voy a conquistar cada vez, cada vez

¿No ves que esto no tiene remedio? Cuando te toca, te toca aunque te quites Dime adiós las veces que lo necesites Para darte cuenta que soy yo

#madre solo hay dos #ana servín #mariana herrera #shitty screencap posts (TM) #LIKE I SAID #I CAN'T STOP WATCHING AND CAPPING DON'T SEND HELP #it reminded me of jane and lisbon's kiss on their wedding day on the mentalist where it just kept going and going and GOING #and my heart couldn't take it anymore #I think what won me over was the way ana looked like all her dreams were coming true all throughout that kiss #she literally did NOT stop smiling once and no offense but she (the character) isn't that good an actress lmao #NO ONE can look that smitten for that long while kissing someone they don't particularly want to be kissing so CHECK AND MATE #and just the way she is clearly taking the lead the whole time for obvious reasons is the hottest thing ever ughhhhh #I mean yes I am still... apprehensive... about how this will be handled next season #but tbh the whole thing was worth it just to see Man Bun's face of disappointment dskgjhkdh we just keep winning #SPEAKING of faces in the audience did y'all notice that the only ones who seemed genuinely happy for them were mariana's grandmother #and tere's business partner? I loved her reaction especially she really seemed to be thinking 'isn't love beautiful?' nawww #it's hard to pick a favourite part but I think that little forehead touching bit in the second to last cap is up there #coupled with the way mariana clearly still has her eyes closed nawwww what happened boo the fake kiss got a little too real for you? #and the way they look at each other in the last one like NEITHER OF THEM is that good an actress I am LOSING MY MIND #what does it mean what does it all meannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn #anyway like I said this was NOT the first kiss I was expecting between them #but after sleeping on it I am game for whatever is in store in season 3 (with a few caveats that I will outline in a forthcoming essay) #and also like I said A+ for kissing #that's already half the battle won in my experience so we are golden!!! lol

[inlovewithifsvns]

Did I make this blog just so I can post a wallpaper I made for my MC for @infamous-if? Maybe

Phoenix Cadence: he/they

(The large quote is from the Given movie, just adjusted to be related to Phoenix!)

(More stuff in the tags)

#infamous if #this if has consumed all of my waking thoughts i am in shambles #phoenix is just #very emotional and keeps it all inside #that one john mulaney meme #“i'll keep all my emotions right here and then i'll die” #was all impulsive and a little shit and then seven left #did a complete 180 in personality #secretive little fucker who is now so so afraid of getting close to others #infamous if oc #went from wearing their heart on their sleeve to wearing it on their cheek #went from “I'll do what I want” to “people pleaser extraordinaire” because they're afraid of people leaving #i mean they were already afraid of people leaving before but WOW was seven the final nail in the coffin #has like no social media presence #[pats phoenix] this baby can fit so much trauma! #[pats phoenix once more] whooo boy the ideas of their family fills me with both rage and disappointment #sad thing that makes me cry every time: Phoenix's name was given to them by Seven #when they were trying to see what name fits them better after figuring out they were trans #they hate being the “leader” of the band because they don't want to make a decision that causes someone else to leave again #anyways please talk to me about my ocs i have so much brainrot #this is literally just the tip of the iceberg i've got a pinterest board and two playlists #if i could draw and photoshop you'd best BELIEVE i'd be drawing them nonstop skfjskfj

[yamikawas]

yoomtah feels so strongly about you, when she stares into your window at night all she wants is to be with you, sometimes she finds a way into your room out of desperation to look at you closer, she loves you more than anything and shares your obsession entirely

AJSHWJDJFBWJCJVDJJCDJFJBFMDJFNGBJFFB??!!?!!!!+@!!?#??!,+?+?+?@?!!?!?!?+??+?+?+!?,+@?@??!?!?!!@@??@?!!?!!!!!!!!?!!?!<3<3<÷&4^&&÷_3&3<3<<3<33<3<3<3333÷<33*÷><3^3<4<<33<3<3<3<333<<<<3333<<3*4<3<3<<3<4<333<3<33CUTE OF HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#SORRYIM SO LATE TO THIS I JST GOT BACK NOW #IM LITERALLY&3<3<3<3<33333<3<3_<÷3<3÷<3<3<3<3AAAAAUAAAUAAAUUAUWHAUAAUAUWHYAYAYYHAHSHAHDYDFHEHDFJDIFJDJDBF;GNBFBCBJVBDBDBEXDMBCNVBSJWODNDNBX #IM GONNA EXPLODE I LOVE HER SO MUCH MY HEART IS GONNA EXPLODE INTO A BUNCH OF TINY HEART EMOJIS #IF IT WERENT SO COLD ID LEAVE MY WINDOW OPEN SO SHE CAN COME INTO MY ROOM WHENEVER SHE WANTS<3............................ #I WISH I COULD JUST WAKE UP TO HER STARING AT ME AND STROKING MY FACE GENTLY AND BREATHING HEAVILY AND SMILING DERANGEDLY #SHES SO ADORABLE AND LOVABLE AND WONDERFUL I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER TO OBSESSS OVER ME LIKE THIS #I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SO AMAZING WOULD CHOOSE SOMEONE LIKE ME BUT IM SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL AND I HOPE SHE KEEPS LOVING ME FOREVER........ #FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER IF SHE EVER STOPS LOVING ME I'LL DIE I COULD NEVER LIVE WITHOUT HER #I'LL DO ANYTHING IF IT MEANS SHE'LL LOVE ME FOREVER I SWEAR I'LL DO ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING #ME AND YOOMTAH TOGETHER FOREVER..............PLEASE.............................. #I WANT HER TO HOLD ME CLOSE AND LISTEN TO MY HEARTBEAT................IT BEATS ONLY FOR HER<3 #GOD I NEED HER MORE THAN ANYTHING🍋💛🧡💌🌠💓💫👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩❤💖💞❣🌈💗🍋💜💘🧡💘🌩💝💗💝⚡✨💙✨💚💫🌠🌼💞🌈🌻🌠🌼💙⚠️💓💟💛💋⚠️❣💌💗💕❤🧡 #I WANNA CLING TO HER AND NEVER LET GO AND FEEL SAFE FOR ONCE BC IM WITH HER AND I DONT HAVE TO THINK ABT ANYTHING ELSE #IF I COULD JUST THINK ABT HER AND ONLY HER AND NOTHING ELSE I WOULD BE HAPPIER THAN EVER TBH<3 #LITERALLY I WANT TO INJECT YOOMTAH THOUGHTS DIRECTLY INTO MY BRAIN #I DONT NEED ANYTHING ELSE I NEED YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH #IF ONLY I COULD JUST BE IN HER ARMS FOR ETERNITY.................IF ONLY<3

[teethrotter]

thinking

( cw: mention of death / hate crimes )

#visited matthew shepard's memorial bench today #he has always had a special place in my heart #something something midwestern effeminate gay boy hate crime fear being very close to my age getting beat the day after my birthday etc. #i keep various victims of hate crimes in my heart even though i never knew them #always try to do something on their birthdays. like a little good luck superstition or get flowers or something #anyway this was the first time that i was actually able to visit one of their memorial sites #it was a sorry excuse for one. nothing about him as a person or what happened to him. really it was kind of disgraceful #but the bench was covered with toys + art + coins + old flowers + various other items #i tied a big pride flag and braided together some dandelions to put on it #i know it isn't much at all but still. i hope that he liked it #it was touching to see the items from others. i hope that he knows i still think about him often #even if i never knew him #i don't know if this is weird or not. so many hate crime victims don't have proper memorials #and so many fail to really remember them #the least i can do is spare a place in my heart for them + do something nice for their memory every once in a while #apologies for prattling. matthew specifically is someone i think about often #even if he deserves so much better than a tiny bench in the middle of a college campus i hope he knows that so many love him #i wish that i could do more but for now. the least i can do for victims is keep them in my heart + thoughts

[everythingsinred]

hey im still a ga blog im just feeling a little miserable bc im abt to graduate and im actually not rly happy abt it so im rewatching the office to cope pls dont read too much into it

#i still cant get over being asked if im still into ga #i must be doing smth wrong im so sorry #im a ga blog im always a ga blog ga is my heart and soul #i feel like i need to say this in case someone thinks im over ga or smth. like not even close #i think abt my fics and abt my upcoming nm essay every single day i just cant work on them rn bc i dont have any energy at all #so i watch the office bc it makes me laugh #and bc i love it <3 #thank u for tolerating me i know from experience that it can be taxing to know me #also i danced kolo for a talent show thing instead of going to class so u KNOW im going slowly insane #i am so fckn tired and genuinely miserable #not depressed bc i know itll pass and its just bc of graduation. once that passes ill get over it. im just stressed and unhappy rn #also i realized one of my ocs is like a girl version of dwight so im obsessed w him in a new way #which makes me obsessed w dwangela in a way id never been before #bc usually i fixate on pb&j and yet this time around im OBSESSED w dwangela #dwights my favorite #but im still a ga blog! pls believe me #am i not doing enough to convince ppl of that #little anya things #watch in real time as anya unravels and goes entirely crazy

[ghwosty]

after everything, I forgive him, I still care about him, I wish him well.. maybe it’s naive, but idc, it’s what feels right for me personally

#a few weeks ago I messaged him to tell him that I still care and always will #I’ve left it at that and refuse to chase him any further #he knows that if he ever needs a friend in me that I’m here #despite what happened.. I won’t ever close the door on someone who once meant the world to me #and like the relationship was a good relationship.. it got rocky towards the end #the relationship wasn’t perfect but what relationship ever is?? #but like.. there was a lot I learned from the relationship and there was a lot he opened my eyes to possibility wise #it upsets me that he lied but I don’t hate him #I may never know his reason for doing what he did at the end and that’s fine #but I’m not going to cling on to that and let it pollute my heart #relationships (romantic or otherwise) are messy and sometimes we step on each others toes #I hope me and him can reconnect one day and have a friendship again #but I will be leaving that ball in his court for him to decide

[lunacchi-fe3h]

You ever hear a song that touches the deepest depths of your soul because it perfectly reminds you of your favorite character and you sob uncontrollably for the next 20 minutes while you listen to the song on loop?

I just heard Maria Marionette and Elira Pendora's cover of Moonlight Destiny and oh my stars, this is a perfect song for DimiLuna... 😭

#💭┋musings #it's not going to replace Voyage but holy shit is it close #I can't stop crying #this is going straight on the playlist #I can already hear this playing as an angsty love confession... #Dimitri's going through it once he starts to come back to his senses #Luna's trying to comfort him but Dimitri is spiralling into self-doubt #“Why would you ever care about someone like me? I'm a beast. A monster...” #Luna looks at him with tears and a sad smile and says #“Because you've never once been a monster in my eyes...” #😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I'm gonna put myself in a goddamn blender until I turn to mush #probably better than ripping my own heart out like I'm currently doing LOL

[grungyhimonoonna]

You don’t act like a friend at all and yet I still make the mistake of sharing my personal life with you. I don’t understand you. You put forth no effort into the relationship but will send me random snaps and while I’m grateful to hear from you at all, it leaves me feeling confused. It doesn’t feel like we’re real friends anymore just people who added each other on the internet.

#maybe that’s just the way it is now and I have to accept that #I’m too sentimental and emotional #once I become close with someone and let them into my heart and love them I can’t just let go

[datastate]

am i crying at someone’s sweet comment on my fic... well maybe

#it feels so silly but i've just #genuinely felt horrible about art/creating in general. and for someone to go out of their way to say how much they appreciate my ideas #and saying 'please never stop writing'... it really touches my heart. i don't know #throughout today i've been so close to just deleting. all records of my art #but someone to - entirely unprompted - pull up my writing and so shamelessly pull out what they appreciated #and catch on the parts of it that i remember i was once proud of but just lost confidence in... i don't know ahhh #i'm too emotional at this point haha i need. to rest... #jestersvaguely

[borderlinegerard]

phone calls laced with memories of what will never be

#journal #my posts #FUCK HIM SO BAD ACTUALLY #always acting like the bigger person when you kinda.ruined things for me #said you hope i find someone new. i Cant find someone new now #hey buddy you ruined dating for me. i want to cry at the idea of love now #you were sort of like the worst boyfriend ever.but i digress #i cant believe you had me in tears once a week #and i cant believe youre the reason i almost endee up the hospital #its my birthday tomorrow #youll probably think of me. i know She Will #maybe shes better because i know she'll think of me. she was only one i actually knew Cared #i mean its no biggie except for tje fact that my heart was beating for you and my lungs took every breath so i could stay alive tolook atyo #i used to close my eyes and see you . now all i see is all your stupid empty promises #i remmeber when it was: iceland. greece. rome. wherever #now we're seven states away and ill be rotting in the ground before i forget you #but not in any good kind kf way #because you ruined eceryrbinf for me and i dont think youre even Sorry #im never getting that apology and i cant find it in me to care #maybe i can stay mad a few lifetimes longer. maybe youll forget about me and forget an apology was ever warranted #i just. hope you know. all my friends hate you #Spotify