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#so. i dont think we are reaching when we panic about our future everyday
kimmkitsuragi · 9 months
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not to be like waah waaaah im so upset about my life while i have a nice and good life in general compared to so many people here but. i still feel like the art piece "here's the life i've always longed for". i keep thinking about my father almost crying talking to me on the phone at the election night. he kept saying he doesnt want me to feel like this country's fate is my only choice, and my life will not be ruined by these terrible people. but it feels like that sometimes. a lot of times actually. and i mean im trying to do things to change it really. but also im not trying hard enough. i get mad at myself for that. then i am mad that i live in a reality where i have to try so fucking just to have a chance of living in a decent reality. and what if i cant do it... i have to try harder i really have to apply myself i dont want to be a disappointment and a regret for my future self. i hope she is in a safe and beautiful place, not here. anywhere but here. please.
#yeah i cried while typing this keep scrolling#the thing is sometimes i think im just exaggerating everything in my head like. what's the worst that can happen right#but the truth is#I'm really really scared for this country's future. i dont know how bad it can be but it is already not good and still going worse#so. i dont think we are reaching when we panic about our future everyday#I know this is because I'm likely severely mentally ill but i cant live with this some days#the normal thing is obviously just. continuing to live#but the fact is that all this shit we've been going thru in the last year (before too. but especially 2023)#have pushed me to the point i was having panic attacks everyday lmao so like. yeah i guess it is fair that i want to gtfo of here#so compared to how ive been im really better#but still i dont apply myself the way i should. and it feels so bad because so many ppl worse off than me are pushing for their survival#everyday while im like waaaah wah i cant focus oh how will i get out of this country oh poor me wah :( lmao#girllll just work on it just do the things u must do. okay this whole post got way out of focus im just#writing my messed up steam of consciousness at this point idk#but. i cant help but say it's hard it's so hard to live everyday for me it's so hard to breathe sometimes#and i know that's a *me* problem. if i was not like this i could do so much#I should be doing so much#to get the life i want for myself. but it's so hard. i hope i wont die unhappy and full of regret#neg#🗒#okay i dont even remember what i wrote here exactly but it's probably the saddest post I've done in a long time#dont know if anyone actually reads it it's so embarrassing when i think abt it 👍 i dont even know where this came from#it's not even a Bad day
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prettyme-ann · 5 years
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Behind the scenes
“In the same way the Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words.”
‭‭ROMANS‬ ‭8:26‬ ‭AMP‬‬
This is to remind myself God is and still above all whatever circumstances, situation, decision, future, etc.
I don’t know where to start since He’s moving behind the scene when I just keep doing whatever just to please myself 😞 (how selffish of me) after God revealed to me of what He is still i keep on disappointing Him.
As you know on my last blog, I applied my Australian visa and got rejected and so i re applied, as the days hoes by I am just confident and trusting God but of course it is not easy. AfterI submitted my documentsans pay for the fee( it is expensive ha! Almost 700 aed din un) for what Im seeing myself that eto lang ako Lord, I keep on rejecting Him and His command. I am not worthy to stand up in front,but still He called me bu my name. To start with. How’s my salary? It was not even can cover what my needs (wants pala 🤦🏻‍♀️) but He’s providing for everything 😊 in that small amount of salary where I can save money, I helped other people by lending money, I even got a chance to go to other places.
As the days goes by I started to panic as the day get closer and closer and closer. I drank a beer just to ease my tension, teased a guy at message even worse after that...pleasuring myself! Lord tatawagin mo pa ba ako after all of this?? I keep on disappointing you and choosing this sinful acts/thoughts, not pursuing you. I am a nobody, I am a failure.
You know what God told me. I am not alone. God is with me and I can depend on Him.
His power is limitless
His love me unconditionally
He cares for me.
I struggle a lot doing my devotions. I failed to do it everyday, but God knows how much I'm trying. I always find excuses whenever I fail to read His word and that is extremely unexpectable. But God is so persistent, He will push you to do things you are afraid of, things you are incapable of. Most of the time I ask God, "Why did you choose me?"
I am not deserving. I am not faithful. I often times forget you. I have limited knowledge in this world. I am not good enough.. and today I learned the answer.
He called you because all of those you're not- He is.
He is derserving.
He is faithful.
He thinks about you all the time.
He is an unlimited God.
He is enough.
God called me because of what He is. I was called by grace. Grace- for he saved me and kept being saved. That is our God. He doesn't called the qualified, He qualifies those He called... And yes you are one of them. He called you!
He is the God who died for you 2000 years ago and He is the same God who will rescue you.
Keep your faith. According to His word "For I know my plans for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and future."
Always remember that if God brought you to it, He will bring you through it.
July 1, just got my visa and started panic buying fow winter clothes. I dont have any budget! I was worried since I have bone problems sa malamig na lugar. Also worried dahil syandby ako not sure if I can fly on that day, tried all ailine I can possibly i could but negative ako. All flights are full.
July 6, after my night service I got home prepare my things even if i have doubts. Just waited kht walang tulog still hoping makasay. What i told on my LG whatever we prayed for it its not your will, natanggap namin na maluwag sa puso namin and still praise you.
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Last minute got accepted. Literal ha! I was in the middle seat(sympre mas masaya kung window or aisle) but i dont care na i got in!
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Before we landed i got emotional kase makikita ko na kapatid ko and his family again and i prayed again kse diba nga anu napapanuod ko na nagcrushed na plane before landing.
When we landedthe pilot said “the plane landed by itself” i daid what the?? And the man beside me that he was surprised because its all foggy sa baba (prone to accident) zero visibilty! Whoah God! Again you amaze me!
Hoping they will come pick me up sa airport but hindi pala. Nag commute aq ppnta sa hotel without knowing where will I go(of course my instruction naman si kuya) ang saya! Loving the moment. Loving the cold weather! Hnd sumakit masydo tuhod ko at ang likod.
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After i reached the hotel kontinh pahinga lng nag church na kame! And it hit me. Do i do anything to get closer to God. The most important relationship of all. People in Glow church is so responsive! Nakakatuwa! Nakaka refresh! What keeps me giddy! Dame nla YA and want to attend pa nga eh! Haaaayy naglalkad lakad hnd ko na alam kung saan but i enjoyed meeting new people while exploring sydney kht walang tulog.
Now I am here in Syney and it is my Day 2. Did my reflection and savoring God’s presence and creation!
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I’m Park Jimin, I’m Human Too (Jimin x You ONESHOT)
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A/N: I have written something similar along the lines of fans hating the girl, if you are familiar with my other story, As Long As You Love Me (Park Jimin) :)
And Im sorry if I made this story weird. hope you like it!I
MASTERLIST
And yeah, happy birthday Park Mochi!
"Hey C-Chim..."
"Yeah baby? Whats wrong?" Jimin looks up from his phone and straighten himself up from the couch, lovingly looking at the love of his life. There are no words to describe how in love Jimin is with her. She is everything Jimin could ever want, could ever wish for. She is perfect for him in every way.
"Uh.. do you remember a few weeks back.. when you just got back from tour..." Y/N asked nervously.
"Yeah?"
"A-And what we did the moment we get back from the airport?"
"Absolutely," Jimin winks. "I think that is one of the best yet baby. But what about it? You want a repeat of that?" He smirks.
"Uh..." Y/N blushes. "Remember how we cant control it anymore and we still continue even though we ran out of condoms?"
"O...kay?" Jimin finally get a feeling of where this conversation is going.
"Jimin... I'm uh," she finally showed him the stick that shes been hiding behind her back. "I'm pregnant,"
Jimin took the pregnancy test with shaky hands. True enough, two blue lines, indicating that its positive, that his girl is carrying his baby right now. That theres a mini Jimin in the making.
"A-And before you ask, thats like the 15th test I took... and its all positive. Jimin, I'm sorry!" Y/N's voice shakes, tears are already pooling at the corner of her eyes at his quiet respond. She knew he is not going to take this news easy. There is no way Jimin is gling to be happy about it. An idol with a pregnant girlfriend? Their relationship is not even public! Jimin looks up from the pregnancy test that he is holding and looks at her, confused with her reaction. Upon realizing that Y/N is crying, he quickly steps forward and reached out for her hands.
"Baby? Why are you crying? What are you saying sorry for?" Jimin is freaking out. Whats wrong? Is she hurt? Is the baby already hurting her?
"I'm-I'm pregnant Chim! I have ruined your life!" She wailed out. "How can you ask me whats wrong? Everything is wrong!"
"What?!" Jimin burst into laughter. Y/N immediately stops crying, looking at her boyfriend who is laughing so hard his eyes turnes to slits, with big wide confused eyes. "Baby, why would you being pregnant ruined my life?"
"Y-You are an idol! You are barely home! You dont have time for a baby! You cant even date! People dont even know we are dating!" She listed out all the reasons why Jimin should be running out the door right now, but Jimin just holds her hand tight and smiles at her.
"If thats the case, maybe we can finally let our relationship be public now?" Jimin grins at her. "Its not like I'm under a dating ban. I'm just keeping it public to keep you safe,"
"W-What?"
"Lets make our relationship public baby. I want to introduce my beautiful girlfriend, the love of my life and my future baby that she is carrying to the world," his smile turned wider.
"C-Chim... why arent you angry? Or mad? Or breaking up with me?"
"Huh?" He tilted his head, confused. "Why would I? Baby..." he lifted her chin so she would look at him in the eye. "I love you. I love you very very much. Having you as my girlfriend is a miracle enough, but having a baby with you? A little person who is half me and half you? Baby, that is just amazing! Marvelous! I-I dont know how to describe it but no one can ever be happier than what I'm feeling right now. So no, I wont get mad, angry and definitely not breaking up with you,"
"R-Really?"
"Absolutely," Jimin grins and leans in to kiss her. "I love you so much Y/N, but sorry, you are going to share my love with this little mochi now," he stroke her tummy, although theres no visible sign of a bump yet. "I'm going to be the best father to my mochi baby, and the best boyfriend, maybe future husband?" He winks, "to you. That's promise,"
/////
"You are really sure Jimin? You really want to do this?" Seven pair of eyes looks, no, stares at him. His beloved members and the PD of course. His relationship with Y/N, although it has been years since they were together, were safely kept from the public. Sometimes he himself wonder how they managed to do it, but everyday he thanks the stars to have a girlfriend that is so understanding. He can never take her out on proper dates and she has to share him with his extremely busy schedule. He only gets to see her a few times a month when they are not on a break and Jimin really wonders why Y/N still wants to be with him. Someone so perfect, wanting him. And now shes carrying his child, and Jimin has never been so sure that he wants the world to know. Its time for him to treat Y/N the way she deserve to be treated. And he is sure his fans would understand. He is human too afterall, he falls in love too, and they should be happy that he found someone if they really love him.
"Yeah. I think I'm ready," he smiles. "And I think the fans would be alright with it when they see how happy I am with Y/N. I'm going to be a father guys!" He jumps excitedly. The younger boys went and hugs him, jumping along in excitement.
"Jimin, I dont mean to burst your bubbles, but once you do this, there is no turning nack. Are you really sure?" Namjoon turns him around and asks, his brows furrowing in worry.
"Yeah hyung. Y/N is the one for me. I'm already thinking about proposing to her... so yes. I want to do this. I know and and I'm sure our ARMYs will be supportive," Jimin smile and patted the leader's back. "Dont worry about us hyung. We will be okay. All of us will,"
"Well then Chim," Namjoon smile. "If thats the case, then I am very happy for you and Y/N," Namjoon went over and hug the younger man.
"And we will do the preparation for the official announcement. Whatever happens, we hope you and Y/N will be able to get through it. Congratulations Jimin," the PD smile and went out from the meeting room. The BTS dorm was filled with celebration that night. A congratulatory celebration for Jimin who had found his true love and finally have a little Bangtan in the making.
/////
It hasnt even been an hour after the official news is released that BTS' Park Jimin has a girlfriend and is expecting a baby with her, with a high possibility of a marriage on the way and the news has made it into all the headlines. Although many are happy about the news, congratulating him and complimenting on how beautiful Y/N is and how they are made for each other, there are more who hated the news and immediately despise Y/N for stealing Jimin from them.
It hasnt even been an hour, but the hate comments on Y/N has hits millions. Worse, she actually accidentally read them.
"Jimin wake up right now!" Hoseok shakes his shoulder,waking him up from his deep slumber.
"Hmm yeah what is it hyung? We dont have a schedule today. Cant you let me sleep? Please?" Jimin rubbed his eyes sleepily, yawning.
"I think you need to go to Y/N. Right now Chim," Hoseok urges him, still shaking him so he wakes up.
At the mention of Y/N's name, Jimin's eyes immediately popped open wide.
"Why? Whats wrong? Did something happened to her?" He panics and reached out for his phone, which has no notification from her. "She didnt call or text me though?"
"This Chim. This happen. And I dont think Y/N is okay right now," Hoseok placed his phone in front of the sleepy Jimin to show all the hate comments coming in non stop.
How did she even get Jimin? Shes a troll!
Break up right now! Jimin dont like you!
What did you do to take our Jimin? You must have blackmailed him!
Thast not Jimin's baby! Shes a slut!
Theres no way our Jimin makes you pregnant. Slut slut!
This Y/N is obviously a whore!
"What?!" Jimin was mortified. How could his fans be so crude? So evil? How could they even thought about all these words to describe his girl? The love of his life. And those are just a few. There are thousands more meaner comment from wbere that come from.
"D-Did Y/N read this?" He looks up with shaky eyes to Hoseok.
"We dont know Chim but even if she didnt I think its best that you go to her now," Hoseok looks at him with worried eyes, his brows furrowed. "She needs you there with her, wheter she has read it or not,"
Jimin has never run out from the dorm as fast as he did that day, panting as he burst open the door to Y/N's apartment, only to find her sitting on the couch, face drenched with tears, hands holding her phone tightly, looking back at him with wide, scared eyes. Never has his heart hurt as much as it did that day, seeing the love of his life in pain and hurting, all because of something that is important to him.
"Y/N, baby," he rushed to her at once, engulfing her in a tight hug, stroking her hair as her tears wet the front part of his shirt. "I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry baby. None of what they said is true. Dont you ever believe it. None of it baby,"
Y/N grasp the front of his shirt tightly, not saying anything, just letting her tears falling rapidly down her face. After a while of just crying and sobbing her heart out, letting out every sadness shes feeling, the most  heart breaking sound Jimin has ever heard, Y/N finally composed herself and find the courage to look at Jimin in the eyes.
"I-I'm sorry Chim," she sobbed. Jimin tuck a piece of her hair, now wet with her tears, behind her ear.
"Baby you dont need to be sorry. What are you even apologizing for? Its all my fault. All me baby. I'm sorry you have to read and see all those things. You dont deserve any of it my princess," Jimin cups her face and looks at her in the eye, giving butterfly kisses all over her face. "You know right baby? You know right? You know I love you. I really really love you no matter what they said. And I know this is my baby and nothing is going to change that," he rubbed her tummy softly.
"I-I know," Y/N lowered her gaze, avoiding his eyes, tears are starting to wet the corner of her eyes again. "B-But how could they Jimin? I dont care about what they say, I-I expeceted it, b-but this is too much,"
Jimin is puzzled. What is Y/N talking about?
"What is too much baby? What is it? Tell me baby?" Jimin coaxed, his hands still stroking her hair softly. With shaky hands, Y/N pulled out her phone and showed her one of the hate comments. But to Jimin's surprise, its not just a comment, but with it is attached a photo, which has been saved, copied and repost a thousand times over and now is floating all over the internet. How did he even missed it?
"Baby..." Jimin eyes flickered back to her face.
"Its too much Jimin," she sobbed and hugs him harder. Jimin clenched his fist, eyes closed, as he hugs her back tightly, no longer wanting to see that vile photo. A photo, obviously edited and photoshopped to show Y/N's face on another naked body doing sexual things with a man that is not him. The photo is even captioned with 'Save Jimin, She's a Slut'.
How could they do it to this extend?
Jimin always thought his fans are the best fan in the world. The most loving, caring and understanding fans anyone could ever asks for. Apparently not. They thinks he is a piece of object that they own. Not a human being with feelings on his own. With the right to fall in love and be happy with the girl of his dream. This is too much and Jimin would not just stand around doing nothing. Not when it hurts the most important person in the world to him.
"I swear baby, I'll take care of it. I promise. I promise," he whispered to her, wiping the tears off her face. "I love you Y/N. Whatever happens, we will get through this. I will make sure you will be okay. We will be okay. We and our little baby will be okay, I love you,"
Jimin spends the rest of the day holding her close in his arms, whispering words of forgiveness and love, his hands clench tight, mind spinning thinking of a way to destroy everyone who even dare to ruin their precious little family.
/////
"We already warn you about this Jimin," the PD sigh. "And you still wants to go through with it!"
"I know! But what do you expect me to do? To stay single for my fans forever? Y/N is pregnant with my kid.  We are going to be a family Sir," he sighed, slumping himself down on the chair. "I know this is a risk we need to take, and Y/N and I understand that. But cant we at least take it down? We are not asking you to sue them or anything!"
"We will try our best Jimin. We will take down all those photos as fast as we could," Jimin sighed in relieved. "But we cant stop the hate comments Jimin. If you and Y/N wants to continue this, you better brace yourself. Thats the best advice I can give you," the PD gave him a small smile and patted his back before walking out. Leaving Jimin alone with his thoughts.
As time passes by and all the photos has been successfully taken down, the heat of the news have died down a little. Jimin thought a happy ending might come their way soon as the fans starts to forget. Sure, hate comments and cries of pleading for Jimin to leave Y/N constantly flooded their social media pages, but both Jimin and Y/N has learnt how to ignore it and go about their everyday lives.
Two weeks passes by with nothing more than hate comments, their baby is growing stronger by the day and Jimin and Y/N starts to feel happy again. And that is when everything starts to turn to shit. Someway, somehow, some of the fans managed to get the address of Y/N's apartment, her school and the part time coffee shop she works in. Jimin immediately asks her to stop working after a few girls, who are obviously fans of Jimin as they keep threatening her to break up with him starts stalking her and followed her around all day. But theres not much he can do about her classes and her home. Luckily no one ever followed her home or do anything towards her house and her university care about their student enough to offer enough security and protection as long as Y/N is in school grounds. Out of worry, Jimin made sure one of his managers always picks and sends Y/N home from her classes everyday. Gone were the days where she can freely go out with her friends or go grocery shopping alone. Jimin wouldnt let her and even Y/N knows better than to do it, especially with his fans who always seems to be lurking around somewhere in the corner.
Although Y/N stays locked in the safety of her own home, the obsessive fans managed to penetrate through to intimidate her. At first there are only letters, filled with threatening words sent to her daily. Y/N has soon learn to just ignore it and ripped it off the moment she received them everyday. But soon, more things starts to come her way.
"Delivery for Miss Y/N?" Y/N peeks her head out the door to see the delivery man smiling at her. After signing her name and curiously take the package, Y/N shakes the box. Its square and light, it doesnt make a sound and its wrapped nicely with a big pink bow. Did Jimin send her a surprise?
Excited, she sat down on her couch and starts to unwrapped the box, only to be screaming, immediately dropping the box from her hands once the content is revealed. Y/N's whole body shakes as tears starts to run down her face. Inside the nicely wrapped box lay a single red rose. A dead one. And not just dead, but is swarming with maggots and worms all over its petals. A small card was slipped in between, written on it was a message;
"We are are not kidding. Leave Park Jimin alone if you dont want to rot like the flower,"
With shaky hands, Y/N immediately picked up the box and threw it deep inside the trashcan, not planning to tell Jimin about it. She knows him too well. Jimin will explode and she would never let Jimin risk his career just for her. No. Never.
Trying to forget the rose incident is hard. But its even harder to avoid Jimin and keeping it a secret from him.
"Baby, you okay?" Jimin entered the apartment, looking at her in the eye.
"Yeah Chim. Why do you ask?" Y/N looks up from her magazune and eye her boyfriend who just came from a recording session.
"Well... maybe its because you seem to be avoiding me for a week now?" He stated rather to the point, irritated that Y/N seems to avoid him.
"N-No. You have just been busy. I'm not avoiding you," she gave him a small smile and turned away, knowing Jimin will see straight through her. Jimin did, and pulled her hand so she faces him.
"So you are saying avoiding my calls, not replying my texts and pretending to already be asleep whenever I came over after practice is not avoiding me?" Jimin glares at her. "Tell me whats wrong baby? Did someone bothers you again? Or did I do anything wrong?"
"N-No Chim. I'm just uh tired. The baby is making me tired these days," Y/N tried to create the perfect lie. At the mention of the baby, Jimin's face immediately turned into a huge grin.
"Right. I forgot pregnant woman feels like that. Baby, if you and baby mochi ever need anything, you need to tell me okay?" Jimin held her hands tight. "Anything at all. Tell me and I'll get it for you,"
"Y-Yeah Chim. Of course," she nodded hastily and smile. Wanting nothing more than to change the topic.
"Oh, this came for you downstairs," Jimin passed her a small box. Y/N felt all the blood drained from her face again. Could it be? Could it be that they sent her another disgusting thing? She is very sure she didnt order anything and Jimin obviously didnt buy her anything too.
"O-Oh.. just leave it on the counter. I'll open it later,"
"Why? You are always excited when you received a package. Come on baby, open it. I want to see what my  beautiful girlfriend just bought," Jimin insisted and passed her the box. Y/N refused a few times but Jimin still insisted and she knows he will soon get curious, and she really disnr have an answer when he starts to question. So, praying hard that it isnt something similar to the other box she has received, she takes a deep breath and pulls open the big blue ribbon.
Again, the moment the lid popped open Y/N screamed her heart out, immediately dropping the box and turn around to bury her face into Jimin's chest, crying with all her might, because inside the beautifully wrapped box lay a dead bird, its head dislocated as if somebody has twisted it and a pen stuck on its stomach, blood still fresh and oozing out from the corpse.
"What the?!" Jimin pushed the box with his leg and thats when he saw the note.
"It seems you ignored the rose. Do you think we are kidding? Leave Park Jimin or you will face the same fate as the bird"
"Baby? What does it means you ignored the rose? What rose are they talking about baby? Are you hiding something from me?!" Y/N only looks at him with wide, scared eyes, still extremely shocked from the dead bleeding bird. "Baby, you have to tell me now!" Jimin shakes her shoulders.
"T-they sent me a rose swarming with live worms and maggots last week, threatenkng me to l-leave you..."she sobbed.
"What?!" Jimin was in shocked. He never thought his fans would act this way. Are they even his fans to begin with? "Why didnt you tell me?!"
"I-I dont want you to worry Chim..."
"What?!" Jimin was furious. What is she thinking hiding something like this from him? Just because she doesnt him to worry? Thats her excuse?
"Worry? I'm more than just worried right now Y/N! I'm furious! God damn it, how could they even think to do something like this? And how cluld you even think to hide it from me?! Thats it. You are staying with me at the dorm until we sort this out," Jimin made a decision on the spot, fuming with anger.
"What? No! How can I stay at the dorm. I-I would be a burden to the boys a-and your company and-"
"No fucking buts Y/N! The boys are my brothers. They will understand and they will also protect you. I dont want to hear it. You and our baby is my priority right now. Now pack your things and come with me!" Jimin growls and Y/N knows better than to disobey. Jimin might be small and sweet, sensitive and caring but he is really scary when he is furious and Y/N is not one to challenge him once he is in that state. Without another word, Y/N packed her clothes and neccessities and followed Jimin out, making a new home in the boys' dorm.
/////
"I'm quitting Bangtan!"
"No! You cant do that!" Y/N stood up from her chair so fast, she almost lost balanced. Luckily Taehyung was beside her to hold her stable. Jimin turns and glares at her.
"Really baby? After everything? You of all people should be the one who supports this decision!" He scoffed angrily, still bitter from the fact that she hides things from him.
"No Jimin!" Y/N walks over and held his arm. "You cant do that. Bangtan is important to you. You love being a part of them. They are your brothers and you get to do what you love doing on stage! I wont be the reason that make you leave all that!"
"Too bad baby, its not just up to you now. We have a baby to think about!" Jimin growled.
"Jimin, calm down," Taehyung chimed in, sensing the tension between the couple. "Maybe Y/N is right. Even if you quit, do you think they will stop harrasing her? The fans would be even angrier at Y/N, thinking shes the reason you quit,"
"But Tae!"
"Tae is right Chim. Quitting is not the answer. Calm down okay? At least Y/N is safe now with us. And we have reported the case to the police. We need to think carefully on how to handle this, not make rush decision," Namjoon second Taehyung's opinion, making Jimin sighed in frustration. Still, he knows his brothers' words makes sense. Quitting wont solve anything. What matters now is keeping Y/N safe.
"We will get through this Chim. We will do it together. Dont worry okay? We will make sure Y/N and the baby is safe and we will find a way to stop this. We will," Yoongi patted his back and offered him a small smile.
"I hope so hyung. I hope so,"
/////
"Jimin?" Y/N's voice is small as she calls out his name when they are finally alone in his room. Hoseok, being the nice person that he is decided to let Y/N and Jimin stayed in their room and moved in with Namjoon and Taehyung. He figured they need space and privacy, at least until this whole case is over.
"Yeah baby?" Jimin answered weakly.
"I know you are mad at me. At your brothers. For not supporting and agreeing your decision to quit," Y/N started off. "But... you know they are right... nothing good will come from you quitting," Y/N walks over and face him, looking into his eyes. "Jimin, I love you. And I love our baby. And I just know that we will be happy again some day. Some day, all this will pass. But leaving Bangtan, leaving your career, leaving the thing you love the most in the world... thats a too high price to pay for me Chim. Its something you shouldnt even have to do. Because I will still be here, with you, no matter what happens. We can do this okay?" She gave him a small smile. "Just I begged you, just hold on a little longer and everything will be just fine. I promise baby. I love you Park Jimin,"
Jimin looks at her with heart and eyes thats full of love. How in the world did he get so lucky to have found someone like Y/N in his life? So sweet, loving and understanding? And now shes carrying his baby, and is hurting, all because of him. She can easily choose to leave but she didnt. She stayed. She is the rock Jimin needs in his life and he knows now that as long as at the end of the day Y/N is here with him, everything will be okay.
"I love you Y/N, and I promise. I promise I will make it alright again," he leans his forehead with hers and hold her close before capturing her lips with his, hoping she could feel all the love he has for her.
/////
Jimin looks out at the cheering crowd from the stage. Thousands filled up the arena, as it always does everytime they held a concert. He is always proud of ARMYs. They are the best fan anyone could ever have, but after recent events... he cant believe these sweet people could ever do that to him, to Y/N. Namjoon gave out his last speech as usual after their last song. Saying his appreciation and thanks, but before they can say goodbye, Jimin cuts in.
"Hyung wait. I have something to say," the crowd went wild at Jimin's interruption while the boys all looks at him worriedly, hoping he wont cause a scene. "Hey guys, ARMYs," he greeted with a smile and the crowd cheers with their hellos.
"I'm Park Jimin and I'm human too," an awkward silent fell inside the arena, nobody knows how to react to Jimin's sudden statement. "Thats right. I'm a human. Just like you. Like all of you. I wake up every day, I eat my breakfast, I get ready and I do my work. Just like all of you who has your own job to go to, I have mine too. I love my job, I love coming out with new dance moves, and practice them, singing and recording them and most of all, performing them in front of all of you. Sharing what we have woth you... and I really hope I can do that for a long time," he paused and looks at the confused faces of the crowd. "I'm pretty sure many of you, just like me, like your own job too. So... I just want to ask you, to take a moment and put yourself in my shoe, our shoes and think. It is fair that we are only seen for our jobs, as an entertainer and nothing more? Not to be seen as a normal human being? Are we not given the rights to live, to love like we want to? If all of you have jobs you love, a job of your own choosing, and is allowed to fall in love with whoever you want to, get married, have children and live happily ever after,why cant we? Why does our lives has to be different? To be dictate by others just because of our different jobs? Dont get me wrong, I love performing. And I get how all of you care about us. I appreciate that and I love all of you for it. But I'm happy. I'm happy with Y/N. The girl you guys hated for no reason. Y/N, she has been my girlfriend for so many years by the way, kept hidden because people like me are not supposed to date, makes me happy. And now shes carrying my baby, and it makes me the happiest man alive right now. Can you imagine it? Having a family with the one you love? All of you are humans too, some of you who are lucky might have already experienced it, some is currently experiencing it and some will experience it. But right now, its my turn. I am lucky enough to be given a chance to feel what its like, and you wont let me? Why? Just because I'm an idol? I want to share that feeling with all of you, Y/N wants to share it with all of you. Can I? Will all of you let me? I know its hard to understand, but I beg you," Jimin falls down on his knees on stage and the other six boys slowly followed one by one, kneeling behind him in a line, "put yourself in our shoes and feel how painful it is to not be given the right to fall in love. Idols are humans too. We are human too. And I'm Park Jimin is a human too," Jimin ended his speech with a soft sniffle and the once quiet arena roared in applause, agreeing to what he said. Jimin didnt say anything else and immediately went back stage, feeling as exhausted as ever. He had said what he wanted to say and there is nothing else left to do. The boys came in one by one and they hug each other, forming a huge bear hug, not saying anything, letting their tears do the talking, all seven understanding exactly what each other is feeling.
/////
Jimin who was sleeping soundly as he hugs Y/N tight was awaken with a shake from Namjoon. He opens his eyes to see all six boys and even the PD looking at him with a smile.
"Whats going on?" He rubbed his eyes sleepily, the noise stirring Y/N awake who is also surprised with the crowded guests in their room.
"You did it Jimin," Taehyung yelled and jump on the bed, hugging him tight.
"Huh? I did what?"
"This!" Namjoon pushed an iPad in front of his face and Y/N peeks her hesd and read it together with him. Apparenrly his speech last night has stirred quite a commotion between fans. Not just their fans, but all fandom all around the world. Fans are agreeing to what he said and is now eliminating the common norm of not letting idols and celebrities dates and live their life. They no longer setting up a standard for them to follow.
"C-Chim... y-you did it. You changed the whole concept of idol worshipping!" Y/N squeals. "Not just for us, but for all celebrities everywhere. Oh my god, I'm so proud of you!"
"Yeah he did!" Hoseok agreed. "They even create a hashtag about this. Its #IdolsAreHumanToo and #ParkJiminIsHumanToo," he laughs loudly. "You are a hastag now!"
"Seriously?"
"Yup. It has become a campaign Chim. Fans all over the world are helping to eliminate any hate comments or anything like it. They will report and help to bring down any negativity regarding a celebrity life and choices. You really did it Jimin!" Namjoon proudly announced.
"I-I didnt mean for it to be that way. I'm just trying to make them understand. For Y/N. And for my baby," Jimin is still shocked.
"Well, you and Y/N are free now Chim. And your baby will be born into a hate free world where he or she can enjoy his father's performances soon without any worry," Hoseok laughs. "Congratulations Chim. Now all of us can find a girlfriend!" His statement makes the others laugh too as they went out from the room, leaving the two with some privacy.
Y/N looks at Jimin with a big smile.
"You did it baby," she whispered. "You fought for us. For our baby. And you won. I'm so proud of you,"
"And I will keep on fighting for us if I need to baby. I promise you that," he smiles at her, carressing her face. "I am Park Jimin, and I am a human who is in love with this beautiful girl and would do anything to ensure her safety and happiness,"
"And I'm L/N Y/N, and I am deeply, truly, fully in love with that Park Jimin,"
Jimin laughs and cups her face, slowly bringing her closer before he sealed it with a kiss.
A/N: Lets treat our idol as what they are okay? A human being. Its okay to swoon over them and appreciate their talents and looks, but remember they have the right to live like a normal human too. So I hope no one in here wluld sent a dead bird to any of the boys' significance other once they reveal that they have one okay? Hahaha
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