#so many things can happen in an instant. you experience endings every day whether you realize it or not.

[kittlyns]

I've been getting lost in my own head so much lately

#been thinking a lot about endings #how sudden they are. how rarely you get a warning for them #a client tells me about the last trip they took with their wife before she passed. the ending isn't the point. just a byproduct of time. #but I lose focus on what they're saying. I fixate on the idea of the Last thing. they didn't know it would be the last trip. it just was. #would they have done anything differently had they known? undoubtedly. but it's too late for that now. #another client tells me her nephew died. he was younger than me. his baby will be born this autumn. a relationship ended before it began. #he was so excited to read to her. but he's gone and nothing can change that. #so many things can happen in an instant. you experience endings every day whether you realize it or not. #not every ending is a death tho. #relationships splinter and fracture until eventually they're over. everything has an expiration date. #how do you even begin to cope with it all #I know it's poison to begin a relationship of any sort with the mindset that your time together is limited #but it is. #idk. I'm just really really tired. none of this grief truly belongs to me. but I feel it nonetheless.

[undrgrnd-nft]

UNDRGRND: IN THE BEGINNING

by NFTjoe

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON UNDRGRND.IO: NOVEMBER 12TH, 2021

Every day someone tweets that they quit their job to focus on NFTs full time. Someone within our social circle makes a previously inconceivable amount of money and can now turn their hobby into a career. While the rest of us sit back, watch and wait our turn.

The messages we receive from Twitter make it feel like it will never happen to us:

If you’re reading this tweet you’re early to NFTs. _

Perseverance is all it takes to succeed in this space. _

GM, NFT World! Let’s see those unsold NFTs and find you a collector!

I’ve got (insert amount of crypto) to spend! Show me your dope art! I’ll buy something.

This last one in particular frustrates me the most. Artists flock to these tweets with hopes that this thread will be the break they need.

Rarely does this method work.

The Problem

The NFT market can crush an artist’s spirit. The expectations of becoming an instant success do not match the work required. The emotionally draining act of constantly selling yourself along with the energy needed to create can lead to depletion and exhaustion; it’s why we also see so many tweets about mental health in the NFT space.

With so much effort and resilience required to survive in this space the easy thing to do is hop on a Twitter thread. This typically leads to some followers but no sales. So what is the next step for an artist?

Some artists are accepted to gated platforms (SuperRare, Makersplace, Nifty Gateway) giving them an advantage. There the artist must display the talent that the platform deems worthy of their brand or standard. But what about the ones that don’t meet an arbitrary requirement or style? And what about the artists that are never considered due to the sheer volume of applicants?

OpenSea has become a perfect metaphor for the experience of the NFT artist: an ocean filled with NFTs for anyone to purchase, if only you can find it and can discern between value and speculation. At least on SuperRare or other curated sites, a collector can trust that the gatekeepers have put in the time to discern whether this artist is “worthy” of being collected.

The popularity of Hic Et Nunc (HEN) helped bridge the gap between value and speculation by allowing a lower entry point for amateur collectors to simply buy what they love. While HEN has provided a cleaner NFT alternative to ETH marketplaces and created a launch pad for unknown artists - with no curation, artists still go undiscovered by collectors who may love their work.

This is why many of us in this space turn to Twitter to discover new artists.

This is why influencers have taken to profiting off of their following to help artists gain exposure.

This is why shill threads have become a daily practice on Twitter.

On the surface, these threads appear innocent and supportive. Perhaps many of them are sincere, but this is an inefficient way to connect artists with collectors and an even worse way to highlight talent that may go unrecognized.

The Solution

“In 4 months, you’re going to look around and wonder how you got here.”

That was my boss back in February. It took a little longer than that, but he was right.

How did I end up here?

How did I become one of those people tweeting about how NFTs changed my life?

Nine months ago I answered a random post on Reddit:

“Looking for NFT content creators to join our community-driven NFT publication.”

Thus, I met my boss, Sean, the co-founder of Cryptowriter, and began talking about NFTs and the insanity that was beginning to take hold of people and push NFTs into the mainstream.

Since then, we’ve talked every day: late at night spitballing crackpot ideas to each other; tinkering and rewriting articles; arguing (Sean calls them “discussions”) about the best path forward.

Every crazy idea I have, he encourages me to go further, explore it and make it a reality.

I began gaining his trust and vicariously gaining the acceptance of the other founder, Kenny, as well. Freelance writing turned into recruiting artists for interviews. That led to me hosting the podcast, Behind the Pixel, with an open-ended conversation revealing the artist’s inner thoughts, ideas and influences surrounding their art.

Behind the Pixel was also created as an airdrop feature for our Cryptowriter Membership cardholders. Partnering with artists, we feature them on our website, host them on the podcast and then drop a piece of their artwork to our members.

We quickly connected the dots realizing all these pieces worked together and were part of something bigger.

UNDRGRND was born from those “discussions”. UNDRGRND would become an art platform, dedicated to newly discovered artists, elevating their exposure through articles, podcasts and airdrops to our community.

No longer would artists rely solely on the Twitter algorithms and shill threads. We would partner with artists, collectors and curators to filter through the noise and discover talented artists that deserve recognition for their work.

Our Passion

In the early 2000s, there were underground hip-hop, garage-rock and pop-punk bands floating around on the internet in blogs to gain exposure. Those unknown bands eventually became music video stars and grammy award nominees. But it all started on a website just like UNDRGRND.

There was competition and pride among people who knew musicians before they were mainstream. The band, Bon Iver, won a Grammy for Best New Artist in 2012, despite their first album being released in 2008. Bands like Saves the Day, Jimmy Eat World and Dashboard Confessional were indie label monsters before radio stations began playing their singles. Before Mos Def and Talib Kweli were superstar rap lyricists they were heading the underground hip-hop movement. And before Arcade Fire was on the cover of Rolling Stone, they were receiving accolades on the blog Pitchfork. This was my foundation and a formative experience for who I am today.

Sean started telling stories about his blog, TheFreshBeat, that highlighted underground and unknown electronic music artists. It gained enough of a following that clubs in the Miami area began looking to TheFreshBeat for new undiscovered electronic music.

We talked about how great it was discovering music that no one else knew. We enjoyed sifting through everything to find the gems; it was work but it was fun.

Now, we bring that same energy and mentality to UNDRGRND.

Our Mission

Like Indie music to mainstream pop music, UNDRGRND will focus on unfamiliar names before they become famous.

As a member of our community we hope to fuel your excitement of discovering something new.

We will think in terms of years and not hours. You will not find hype on UNDRGRND. You will not find a quick flip on UNDRGRND. You will find the genuine-honest substance of style and creativity.

We will provide you with diverse viewpoints, our knowledge, and our passion. We will write thought-provoking pieces and explore deeper discussions about art. We will share the wisdom of experienced collectors and curators to help guide and teach a new generation of investors, art enthusiasts and hopefully future millionaires (but remember us when you’re rich and famous, ok?).

There are cliches in the art and writing industries:

Buy what you love.

Write what you know.

The writers at UNDRGRND were recruited to write about the art they bought because they loved it. They are individuals with experience and opinions, who have helped shape my own taste in art. Before I became the Managing Editor of UNDRGRND they took the time to educate me. And now, I’ve recruited them to teach everyone else.

We will purchase art we love and we will write about it.

Through this, we hope to elevate some of the best unknown artists through our writing, podcast episodes and share some of those artists through weekly airdrops to our UNDRGRND Membership Cardholders.

The artists we share will become the storytellers and cultural influencers of the future.

If we elevate everyone together, we all succeed.

My personal goal is to give back to the community that has given me a chance to fulfill my dream. To all the underground artists, writers and collectors that haven’t yet reached their full potential, I will help you reach it. I will help you reach the goal of changing NFTs and art from a passion to a career.

UNDRGRND is more than just an art platform, it is a philosophy; a philosophy shaped by the community; a community we build together.

Curators. Collectors. Artists. Writers. Enthusiasts. Colleagues. Friends.

UNDRGRND.

#undrgrnd #nft #nftmagazine #nftgallery #crypto #cryptoart #nft news #nft4art #nftcollection #nftcommunity #teia #tezoscollectors #tezos (xtz) #objktnft #objkt #eosio #ethereum #bitcoin

[cabiba]

Most men already “know” the bare essentials.

But knowledge and understanding are two completely different paradigms from which to operate.

Most men “know” they shouldn’t have unprotected sex, should watch less porn, give up smoking, put an end to the childish “dick swinging” contests that so heavily proliferate masculine interactions.

But they don’t act on this knowledge.

So the first and MOST important thing every man should know in life is this…Knowing isn’t enough. Action is the only thing that matters.

And with that in mind, here are 7 other things (remember, more is not always better) every man should know…

1. Money Does Not Equal Happiness (But it can BUY it)

Money, by itself, will never make you happy.I have a friend who nets more than $2,000,000/year (after taxes and expenses), yet he’s one of the unhappiest people I know.

He lives in a city he hates, locks himself in his apartment, and does nothing but work from sunup until sundown.

He could retire tomorrow and live comfortably for the next few years just on the money in his savings account…

but he won’t. Because he’s convinced that his worth as a man (and thus his happiness) is contingent on the number in his bank account.

But here’s the thing…

Money is not the arbiter of your worth. And although it can be used to buy temporary happiness (an amazing date night with your spouse, paying off your parent’s mortgage, taking a once in a lifetime trip to another country), it cannot and will not complete you as a man.

Pursuing money as the end goal is a vacuous and lonely pursuit.

Prioritize money, yes. Improve your value to the market, live below your means, avoid debt, and invest wisely. But do not treat it as your sole aim in life.

2. Relationships (Romantic and Platonic) Will Come and Go

From the lover you thought you’d be with “Till death do you part” to the best friend who’s been with you through thick and thin…

Human relationships are all, without exception, transient.

One day, the people in your life will leave you. Either intentionally and of their own volition (e.g. moving to a new city and growing apart, a breakup or divorce, etc) or by default—death.

Relationships, like our lives, are impermanent. Here one day, gone the next.

And knowing this, it is your duty to enjoy the good times while you can. To cherish the people who love you. To say “yes” to amazing experiences together (even if those experiences come at the expense of professional success). To love, laugh, and live with one another fully and whole heartedly. To hold nothing back…

So that when the day comes that your paths part, you can look back on the good times and smile.

3. Life is Painful

No matter how privileged or ostracized you are…life is inescapably painful.

From the richest of the rich to the poorest of the poor, all of our lives, without exception, are marred by pain.

Whether it is the pain of lost love, of isolation, of failure, of injury, of death…we will all face pain at some point in our lives.

And knowing this, it’s your prerogative to decide what type of pain you want to experience.

Yes, there are pains ubiquitous to the human experience (namely death, failure, and sickness). But many of the pains in your life are under your control.

You can choose to embrace the pain of discipline or regret…of instant gratification or lasting satisfaction…of doing what is right or regretting what you did wrong.

Choose your pain wisely.

4. Most People Get What They Deserve

Life can be a bitch. Good things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people.

Children are taken from the world without reason or pity. And even the noblest among us are systematically and strategically fucked over (think: Nelson Mandela).

But at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, most people get from life what they deserve.

Sure, there are anomalies. But they’re just that…anomalies.

If you follow the right processes, put in the work, and do what needs to be done…and you live long enough…you will likely get what you deserve.

The body you have will reflect the fuel you consumed and the way you used it.

Your financial success or lack thereof will reflect the way you spent your time and money.

The quality of your relationships will reflect the quality of the man you were inside of those relationships.You will get what you deserve.

So if things in your life aren’t where you want them to be…don’t make excuses or bitch and moan about the injustice of the human experience…strive to be more deserving of what you want and trust that the results will come.

5. Joy is Endogenous to the Human Being

Billion-dollar companies have fabricated a lie that happiness and joy can be bought.

That they are a commodity to be traded…something to be acquired.

But they aren’t. Happiness and joy are an endogenous part of every human being.

In this moment, you have the choice to be happy. To find the silver lining. To change the stories you tell yourself. Or, at the very least, to make decisions in your life that will lead to happiness in the future (quitting your high paying but soul sucking job, prioritizing your dating life, hitting the gym, spending time with people you love).

Your joy is not a widget to be bought and traded. It is your birthright as a human being. Something to which you have access at any moment and for any reason.So exercise that birthright and choose happiness today.

6. There is No Shortcut

Despite what clever marketers and overplayed YouTube ads would have you believe…there is no fucking shortcut to success.

There are more and less efficient ways of achieving your desired outcome.But there’s no shortcut.

To build a jaw dropping physique, you have to put in the hours under the iron, meticulously track your nutrition, and use the right supplements.

Specific rep schemes and time under tension may help you help you achieve your goal faster…but it will still take time and effort.

The same is true in your relationships, personal growth, and finances.

There are better and worse ways of doing things and there are lessons that, if internalized, will allow you to achieve success faster.

But the “Overnight Success” is a myth.

Embrace the long game and put in the work. It’s the only way to get what you want.

7. Smile. It Will All Be Over Soon

You, me, we’re all going to die.

Whether in 100 days or 100 years, none of us will live forever.

Even the sun, in all its fiery glory will one day burn out and explode into nothingness.

Nothing you do matters to the universe. Nothing.

Everything you are striving so hard to achieve today will one day be reduced to ash and rubble and blown across the universe at unfathomable speeds.

Instead of seeing this as nihilistic or somehow tragic, see it for the gift that it is.

You’re alive. Today. Here. Now. And that’s no small thing.

So smile. Enjoy the ride. Laugh off the failures. Enjoy yourself.

And remember that no matter how bad it gets…it will all be over soon.

Stay Grounded,

Andrew

[random-yandere-fandom]

Genshin self aware au with a more reserved reader

Zhongli lives for you. He exists and breathes and fights and works, all for you. The archon is also possessive. He won`t actively show it, after all who is he to hoard you to himself? But when you yourself prefer to live secluded, only mingling with others once in a while when you feel like it and rather spend time in the teapot or in quiet places? He won`t deny how proud he feels to know that he is the one actively basking in your presence the most as your most loyal worshipper, the one to handle all your affairs and take care of everything and anything. Even when you decide you wish to be alone he simply will attend other duties, even when praise, whether vocal or physical, is scarce but so much more precious, he will be there for you, knowing that at the end of the day he can send others away with your permission. Knowing the he is the one keeping you safe and happy and healthy and with him. 

Venti has long since decided that whatever happens, happens. He can do and say what he wants but in the end all that matters is you. The anemo archon knows that your word is law and has devoted himself to you the moment he realised your existence, his freedom existing within your will. So when you wish for time alone and wish to keep your distance he has no choice but to listen and obey, no matter how much he wants to cling to your side every second of the day. The ache in his heart however will disappear in an instant when you smile at him for the first time, words of praise falling from your lips and your eyes looking at him so gently his knees almost buckle and he has to concentrate so as to not fall over. His mind feels fuzzy but his fingers itch to take out his lyre and create music and sing about this, to tell the whole world of Teyvat how wonderful you are, how beautiful your smile and warm your eyes can be. Hopefully you will praise him for this because Venti is sure that this song will surpass any other with you as the inspiration.

Childe worships you in the way his blade glides down in a graceful and bloody line, how his arrow whizzes through the air and meets it’s target and his polearm feels in his grasp as enemies surround him. He wonders how your eyes would feel upon him when the water pushes his foe back and if you`d like the way he utilises his power when he stands above the carnage. He is a good fighter, a good warrior that loves the thrill of gaining the upper hand and blood spilling the ground beneath him. He strives to improve himself, even more so when he wishes you would look at him longer, speak to him more and wishes that time would slow down when he is with you. Childe spends hours on training and slaughtering hoping for you to acknowledge his efforts, for you to recognise him as someone worthy of protecting you and doing your dirty work. And when you finally tell him that he did a good job he feels breathless, drunk on the euphoria he`ll stumble a bit closer and kneel to your feet, promising to do anything as long as he can continue working in your name, the words sounding almost crazy and his eyes looking up truly deranged. Your compliment has him on a high, no matter if it was said in passing or not, Childe will do anything to gain more of your affection. 

Lisa prides herself with her knowledge, she doesn`t make it known to everyone but she likes how she can get off for things easily, her efficient work method allowing her to laze around and enjoy a cup of tea each afternoon. She doesn`t like to be interrupted while doing so and so she understands when you withdraw yourself, she just wishes that you`d take a bit more of your time to spend with her. However she recognises how important time is, especially yours and instead of asking for a few more minutes she makes sure that when you finally decide to sit down on the opposite side of the table that everything is perfect. The chair is comfy and inviting, the tea warm and palatable and Lisa has personally chosen some books that she highly recommends reading, having memorised your preferred genre, author and writing style. She doesn`t have to ask you not to leave, instead she makes your stay a calm and memorable experience that you will hopefully wish to repeat. Should it take too long she will send you a few invites, teasing you a bit all the while praising the new book that just arrived, anything for you to come by again.

Beidou has travelled far and wide commanding her beloved crew and ship. She knows what dangers are out there and while she is not a fan of relying on any archon and asking for a blessing she can`t help but thank you in her mind after a peculiarly hard storm that nothing went wrong or ask you to wait for her and think of her as she sets sail. Even before you arrived in Teyvat she knew that she wouldn`t get to spend as much time with you as she would like, the ocean calling out to her stronger and stronger the longer she has been on dry land. To her, she doesn`t mind as much when you can`t immediately greet her. All she wants is to at least visit you once every time she returns, to get a chance to gift you whatever she had gotten her hands on this time and tell you of her adventures. Since she isn`t as pushy as others it is most likely that you won`t refuse her request and Beidou knows that, she sees it in your uncomfortable glances when others try to steal your time and your relaxed shoulders when she gets the hint and says her goodbye for the day. She feels warm and energetic, she knows how to interpret your body language and manner of speech and it has clearly gotten herself into your good graces. Sometimes she can`t help but ask you to join her for a few days at last but even a few hours on her ship with you has her weak in the knees and pride swelling in her chest as she shows you around, introducing you to her comrades and simply enjoying your attention. Beidou can and will hold back if it means that you`ll grace her with your smile upon her arrival.

Eula is, even though many say otherwise, a kind person. Those that have truly gotten to know her have realised that long ago and among them is you, or rather, the Traveller accompanied by your presence. Her surprise that the god of this world looked kindly upon her stunned her, almost rendering her speechless had she not gone under strict training to hold her composure as she befriended your vessel. Upon realising that you had finally arrived in Teyvat in a graspable form she spend almost no time to locate you, or rather, the entrance to your teapot to meet you. The one she met was not you however, but Zhongli who denied her entrance. Feeling a bit hurt she argued with him until he finally relented that he would notify you so you yourself could decide whether she was allowed to visit or not. The wait was terrible, doubt and fear creeping into her mind but so did determention that she would try again and again, she couldn`t give up, not with you being so close. Setting foot into your abode was nerve wracking, her nerves practically set on fire as she all but hoped that you would grant her request to serve you as a loyal knight and enamoured worshipper. The geo archon opened the door before her and oh, there you were. You gazed at her with mild interest and admiration, your lips curved up slightly as you greeted her. Eula took long strides, kneeling elegantly and trying to stop her hands from trembling as she immediately pledged herself to you, swearing to protect you with her life and punish whoever dared to harm you in any way. She sensed your surprise and hesitance, seeing you shift your weight from one foot to the other but she didn`t relent. She couldn`t. She knew that she`d work hard to gain your favour and could only hope that you’d acknowledge her and let her be by your side where she belonged.

#yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin x you #yandere genshin self aware au #yandere zhongli #yandere zhongli x you #yandere zhongli x reader #yandere venti #yandere venti x you #yandere venti x reader #yandere childe #yandere childe x you #yandere childe xreader #yandere lisa #yandere lisa x reader #yandere lisa x you #yandere beidou #yandere beidou x you #yandere beidou x reader #yandere eula #yandere eula x you #yandere eula x reader

[one-sky-imagines]

I was browsing your blog when the theme suddenly changed -- It's a pleasant surprise to have you return! May I request some relationship headcanons for Sora, Roxas and Axel? SFW and NSFW please!

hello!! it’s nice to be back! it’s been a really long time but thank you so much for your patience, and here’s your hcs for the best boys~

Sora

- Sora is a huge fan of travelling with his S/O; and that doesn’t even have to be very far. Even just a short trip to the grocery store or a look around the nearest city is enough for him - he feels like he’s on an adventure however little the distance, and that’s what he loves. He also tends to try his best to take charge in situations when you take public transport, like asking for two tickets from the bus driver or trying to spot your train on the timetable before you do!

- Sora is also really up-to-date with everything that’s happening in terms of events like flea markets, outdoor cinemas, pop-up coffee shops and the like near you, and he’ll (try to) take you to every single one. He’s really invested in having as many experiences with you as he can, and you can bet that he documents every single one with thousands of pictures.

- Of course, he’s also a huge cuddler and always wants to have his arm around you. It makes it a little clunky to walk around next to him since he always wants to be as close as possible, but it’s one of the most endearing things about him! Naturally, it can be a little annoying when it’s a really hot day… 

- (NSFW) Let’s be real here, Sora isn’t… the most experienced boyfriend, and sex definitely isn’t something that is super important to him in a relationship. In fact, every time you’re intimate with each other it’s a really big deal to him - as if it’s the first time he’s touched you in that way. He’s always really gentle and stops to ask you if you’re alright all the time, so you have to really rile him up if you want things to move a little faster! 

Roxas

- Roxas always wants to learn about the things that you share with him, and loves being able to engage with you about seemingly useless stuff that ends up with the two of you having very long, very philosophical discussions. These conversations definitely last for way longer than they should and can end up going on well into the night - at which point they end up being a little conspiracy-theory esque. It’s funny, since you didn’t expect him to be awake at 4am with you discussing whether or not the complex human consciousness was born from an ape eating a magic mushroom, but… here you are…

- Roxas’s bedroom is full of diaries, scrapbooks, and odd pieces of paper with half-finished to-do lists and reminders he never ended up reading. As such, he’s the type of person who writes down his feelings rather than openly expressing them, and you’ve come to really enjoy catching him at his desk when he’s scrawling away. You pretend you never noticed the journal titled ‘poems and shit I’ll never read to Y/N’.

- (NSFW) Roxas is definitely the kind of person who uses sex as stress relief, and he’s definitely a lot less visibly frustrated after he met you. Being with you mellows Roxas out better than anything else can - seriously, you thought you might be magic at one point when he seemed to forget how mad he was at Axel for setting up a prank that ended up getting you.

Axel

- Being in a relationship with Axel is a constant battle to decide whether or not he’s being insensitive or if teasing is his love language. You’ve figured out that it’s definitely the latter, but that doesn’t do much for him when you wake up next to each other and you compliment his eyes only for him to gag at your apparently-awful morning breath. Naturally, you overcome this issue by near-constantly telling him his hair’s gone flat, which he believes every single time.

- Despite Axel’s proficiency with fire magic, he’s a terrible chef and can hardly feed himself. His diet consists mainly of ice cream bars, sugary cereal and, if he can be bothered, frozen pizza. His metabolism must be going a mile a minute, since he’s so damn skinny, but that’s something else entirely. Because of this lack of skill, it’s always the funniest thing in the world to see what he whips up for you when you ask him to treat you to dinner at his place. Some of your favourites so far have been jam sandwiches, a ‘salad’ consisting only of lettuce and dressing, and instant ramen transferred to a fancy bowl he borrowed from Naminé.

- (NSFW) Axel’s voice is one of the many things about him that drives you insane, and he’s very privy to that fact. Whenever you’re heading home from somewhere - especially when you’re with a group of friends - he makes it a point to take you to the side at least once to whisper in your ear about what he’s going to do to you when you’re alone before acting completely normal a moment later. Of course, you can’t be too mad at him, as he always keeps whatever he’s promised you.

#☁️ #✉️ #Sora #Roxas #Axel #Sora x Reader #Roxas x Reader #Axel x Reader #trollsarenotwelcome #kh

[babytaes]

†hê Ðêmðñ (the beauty of sin)

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: You're a guardian angel who's never been tasked with protecting anyone. Since you've been here since Creation, sitting around in heaven hasn't brought you any rewards. You were looking forward to the day when you'd be assigned a human to look after. When that day finally arrives, things take an unexpected turn when you are assigned to Heeseung, a demon from the underworld.

𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: heeseung x female reader

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: angst, suggestive/smut

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 4k

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: profanity, smut scenes, bad boy heeseung (lol), 

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖘: click me before reading!

➳ part of the drunk & dazed series

☆ ҉ ◢▅◣

Sin is a spiritual virus that invades the whole being. It makes you morally and spiritually weak. It’s a deadly disease that infects every part of you: your body, your mind, your emotions, and your motives—absolutely everything. Nobody has the strength on their own to overcome its power.

Nobody should ever commit sin, never giving in to their worldly and sinful impulses. It's unjust and wrong. However, what is it about sin that makes it so fascinating and enjoyable?

It gave you joy to see it in his smile or the way his hands caressed your body. What a lovely thing sin is!

Even though some sins are innocent and enjoyable, sometimes regulations are supposed to be broken. Everyone, after all, is a sinner.

“WHAT!?,?” You began to sweat as you worriedly communicated your concerns to your overseer, “You must be mistaken, High Lord.”

“I understand the protocol; angels are supposed to serve as "guardian angels" to beautiful or broken souls on Earth. You know we're expected to look after them and keep an eye on them to make sure they stay on track. With all due respect, ma'am, I don't believe I'm qualified for this position; at the very least, someone of level 10 would be ideal.”

Her cream-colored wings swept her off her feet as she chuckled and waved for you to follow her. You sighed as you flutter up and away with her, trailing behind her, feeling a twitch in yours.

As you eventually caught up to her, dodging angels left and right, you apologized to random angels in your path, uncomfortably smiled at the people you bumped into with your wings.

You retracted your wings closer to you and walked uneasily beside your overseer as you carefully stepped down on the golden road.

Before you could say anything, she quietly took your hand in hers and gently kissed it, assuring you that everything would be alright. As you approached the center of the commotion, you bit your lower lip and remained silent.

Looking around at the community, it warmed your heart to see so many people, young and old, out here. Some you've known since the beginning of time, while others were born only last week. Everyone had gathered to witness the masterpiece that would emerge in an instant.

“You know Y/N I have complete faith in you that this first expedition will be a breeze,” you smiled, looking up at her with excitement and a tinge of fear in your eyes. “We wouldn't have suggested you for the job unless we knew who you really are, and you've earned it.” Don't worry, you were expecting this; now have a look.”

With her finger pointing to the stage forward, you were treated to yet another spectacular show. They're known as the "Grand Turning" in Heaven. This is where a new or seasoned angel has completed his or her training with a human or demon and earned their proper place in the community.

It could be a badge, a ribbon, or something more unique, such as the opportunity to talk with the all-powerful, our God.

Despite the fact that you were assigned to him, you were determined to get those jobs because they were the only way for you to ever get that honor. You weren't going to allow Mr. Unperfect take away that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Nobody could and will ever be able to make you fail this assignment; you were meticulously prepped. You were taught the correct and only way to do things, and now was your opportunity to shine. You were not going to be a Lucifer, cast from Heaven

“I'll do it,” you said to your supervisor, a smile on your face and confidence in your eyes. She turned to face you and hugged you passionately, rubbing your wings with a motherly devotion.

“I knew you could do it; now it's time to get you ready.”

---

When people have a near-death experience, they always remark that life flashes before their eyes. Unfortunately for angels, it's the contrary; when we're approached with a high-alert danger or warning, it's more of a gentle whisper in our ears. Normally more attentive while traveling to Earth.

The best place to be humans say.. What is with these fickle minded words?

You take a deep breath and turn to face your overseer, who is polishing her wings to ensure that they are kept in order. When having wings, a routine is taught from the beginning to keep them in a good up do. Nobody wants to look simple when you can look stunning.

She took your hand in hers and walked toward the end of the route, issuing some documents to the Pearl City Gate guards. You noticed the circular orb while glancing around.

"How can some humans believe in the world being flat, we literally have an air-like view. To me, it's definitely round.” She chuckled as she pinched your cheeks and turned your puzzled face to her.

“When you get down to earth, you'll see a lot of that, people with a lot of opinions. But what did you learn in your training?”

Standing up and smoothing your wings, you calmly shouted out the words as if they were written on the back of your palm.

“Although humans are the destroyers of their own precious planet, everyone's opinion matters, regardless of race, gender, or identity.”

“Well, not all,” you began scratching your head, “I've seen some harsh individuals in our study books, God should strike them down-“

“Um no ma'am, let us put it aside for the time being and focus on what needs to be done.” She started going over a list of laws and regulations for your descent to Earth. As you gave her a thumbs up, you were attentively listening and mentally bookmarking everything in their designated area.

I believe I have a good understanding of everything, and I think I am prepared.” She offered you a short hug before letting you go, showing her affection for you. You were going to miss her, despite the fact that it was a mutually-surface relationship.

“Last but not least, this ordeal will be different in that people will be able to see you. But if you have to use your wings, the lad is the only one who can see you. When you arrive, he will be waiting for you. My child, best of luck and may God bless you.”

You let go of her and moved toward the road's edge, gripping your bag as you turned to face her and waved farewell as you stepped over the brink.

“Wait a minute, what if-“

When you felt a push from behind, you tumbled off the ledge and spun around in the sky, where you saw a smiling face as you glanced up. They didn't tell you that you'd have to be pushed. As you plunged to Earth, you closed your eyes, terrified. Oh, how nice.

Screaming, you descended into the atmosphere, your narrowed eyes seeing glimpses of land here and there. Not letting up you let your wings cover your whole body as you plopped down onto soft green grass.

You peered out from your wings, gasping for air, and glanced up.

“Oh, Heavens”

His physique was slender, active, and well-groomed, with a trace of bad boy behavior in his scent. The first thing that struck your eye were the rips in his jeans. How could a man-made mistake seem to be so appealing? As you raised your eyes, you noticed tattoos splattered across his arms and up to his neck. His black velvet-like wings fluttering in the breeze, he raised his palm to his hair and stroked through the old curls, deconstructing the pattern they had once formed.

“Did you just pull a Lucifer or was this all planned?” he coughed as he put out his hand to you, taking a good look at you.

Stuttering in your words you quickly got up and patted yourself off and finally looked him in the eyes, noticing his dark eyes.

“Well, that wasn't supposed to happen, I hoped to fly down here and appear more Angel-like, but I think my overseer had other ideas.”

He said, "Ah," with a bored expression on his face.

“My name is Heeseung, and if you don't mind, I assume you don't.” I guess my name is well-known in Heaven. You're probably the fifth Angel who has appeared in the last year to “assist me.” What a load of bullshit; you can't hide what's already there, you know.”

He made a pouty look as he smirked closer to you before covering his hand with his mouth and saying, “oh forgive me, I suppose I have a potty mouth.”

Panicking at this new light, you smiled and coughed loudly and suddenly, “Before you say anything else, I'd want to inform you that I'm not like those angels we don't talk about. I have a holy standard that I adhere to.

He rushed to your face, rolling his eyes at your innocence, and murmured to you, "well see about that little Ms. Purity."

As you moved back and shook your head, spurring out prayers, you tugged the strings of your bag close to you, seeming irritated. Looking up, you noticed him hovering in mid-air with his arms crossed, waiting for you.

“Whether you're coming or not, I'm in the mood for a cup of coffee. Allow me to go fetch you one so that this whole ordeal between us may be over soon and we can both return to our respective worlds.”

You instantly snap open your wings and shot up into the sky, scoffing at his rudeness, and dash by him, racing to the left.

“It's this way, dummy,” he cackled as he immediately shot out. Embarrassed and annoyed, you flipped over to his side and flew alongside him, praying to the Lord for peace as your rage subsided.

“Lord, so help me”

---

 “So, what's on the agenda, Ms. Purity? There are a lot of things I'd want to do with you. You know, if you just ditch this whole act, we might be able to have some fun. He winked at you as he sipped his drink while peering across the table.

You shook your head and chuckled, gagging at his remark, "You must get all the girls, you appear really, what's the word, competent" I'm astonished since I assumed everyone down under was inept.”

He smirked and crossed his legs as he lay startled in his chair, cocking his head to the side. It's not that you were trying to be mean; it's just what you were taught. There are no hard feelings.

“Well, as much as I'd like to keep this delightful little date going, I have a commitment to fulfill. You know, duty calls.” You quickly got up and hurried after him, confused as to where he was going, as he shot up in the air and chuckled, waving farewell to you.

“Wait, Heeseung, you can't just go away like that. We need to figure out how I'm going to find you. You're being impolite by getting up and leaving.” You made yourself look insane since you didn't realize no one could see him. You wouldn't want to be labeled as one of these Earthlings.

You beckoned him down, mentally terrified, “Please can you just come down for a damn second.” Your jaw dropped as you hurriedly covered your mouth. Heeseung's jaw dropped when he appeared in front of you, stunned.

“Gasp, I'm hearing a term I'm sure they don't say in Heaven. Hmm, I suppose the Earth changes people.” He went closer to your ear, his warm arm bouncing on your skin as he giggled, his lips inches away from yours.

“I've already entered my phone number into your phone; you do understand what a phone is, right?” Doesn't matter,  I have to get somewhere, and you can locate me later. Okay, I'll see you later.” He swept up in the air and rushed over to the bridge as he vanished into the horizon, rushing out in a haste once more.

You sat back in the coffee chair, wiped your brow, and focused mentally and spiritually, pleading with the Lord for help and forgiveness. You had a feeling this mission was going to be a disaster.

Whining, you threw your hands in the air and sat face down on the table, groaning as you realized this trek. It's no surprise that these honors are well-deserved; it takes a lot of effort.

You cautiously lifted your head and faced the barista after hearing a soft tap on your table. She smiled at you as she set down a piece of paper. You scowled as you inspected the weird set of paper.

“What a jerk, he didn't just leave me to pay for both drinks.” With a shake of your head, you reached inside your bag and drew out a wallet. Your overseer informed you that many people like flaunting and spending their money, so she provided some for you just in case.

As you cleaned up, you began to mentally map out your route through town, mentally picturing the locations and navigating your way home. As you walked over to the cashier, you handed her some money and thanked her before heading out the door.

At the very least, you landed in a fantastic location. It was in the heart of South Korea, and the city was called Seoul, a wonderful metropolis to be sure. You were taught to master specific languages for specific tasks, so communicating wasn't a problem. Despite the fact that you were new in a strange place, you were determined to make the most of it. The first step was to return home and examine the situation.

How to manage Lee Heeseung. 

Arriving at your small abode was an adventure in itself; it didn't take long for you to connect your GPS and get going. It was actually fairly pleasant and provided a change of scenery to enjoy. It's not quite Heaven, but it's still lovely. When you finally arrive at your destination, you look up to see a little, charming apartment in front of you.

They really went all out for you, and it's very much in your style. You'd felt right at home as soon as you stepped inside, as it was more modern and sophisticated.

To be honest, you had no idea what you were doing, but it felt good to have your own little place to do anything you wanted. You could get used to this, no wonder why humans never leave their house. Who would want to leave when you have everything here. Food, entertainment, and a BALCONY!!

As you finished exploring the apartment and basked in its magnificence, you laughed to yourself as you made your way to the couch, sinking into its coziness as sleep took over your mind and body.

*Crunch, thud, bang*

As you lurched forward, you flew up your wings in defense mode, trying to understand what you'd heard.

“Who's there? I have a weapon, and I'm not afraid to use it.”

When you hear a familiar giggle, you look up and see the attractive intruder. Walking over to you and snatching the pillow from your grasp he took your hand and pulled you over to the island where he had prepared some food.

As you took it all in, you smelt familiar scents and smiled, completely forgetting about it until you were reminded again.

“Wait, what are you doing in my apartment, and how did you get in?”

He began to remove some pots and pans from the stove while he placed some food on a platter, saying, "I have my methods."

“I'm not sure what you eat up there in Heaven, but I'm guessing it's all healthy and nutritious food.” You laughed and shook your hand in disbelief while shaking your head.

“I don’t think out of all places we would be eating so strictly. It's basically whatever you can get your hands on.. It's guaranteed to be better food than what you'll find in Hell.”

Pulling the dish away from him, you began to pick at the fries, popping one into your mouth and savoring the flavor, “not bad.”

He bowed in front of you, wiped the sweets from his brow, and returned to sit next to you, grabbing a dish and feeding himself some. As the night progressed, you told him the rundown for the next three months.

“So, despite the fact that you're definitely one of the worst jerks I've ever encountered. For this to function, we'll need to create certain ground rules.” Aiming a finger between you and him. “I'm not sure whether you've ever had to do anything for anyone else in your life, but it's all about serving people around here, and that's why I accepted this assignment. Even if you don't want to help yourself, I want to help you.”

As Heeseung shuffled around in his chair, avoiding eye contact with you, the atmosphere became tense.

“Harsh, but keep going.”

Smiling you continued as you tried to wrap your head around this complex creature.

“I understand that we are supposed to protect and guide you to do good, but it appears that we have progressed far beyond that, and we need to start at the source of your problem, which is most likely your heart or mind. What's going on in both?

As his words danced across your lips, he smirked and drew you closer to him.

“Now there's a secret.” 

Smirking as your face felt warm, you cocked your head to the side and touched his shoulder before getting up and setting your dish in the sink, cleaning up as piercing eyes stabbed your back.

“I understand what you're thinking, and I've got it all under control.”

He approached you and said, "If you say so," as he put his head against your ear.

2 months later 

Everything was certainly out of hand, and he was to blame. Your strategy not only failed, but it was only a matter of time until your overseer found out. And you didn’t want to end up like the last guy tossed from Heaven.

It wasn't all that bad, but who were you kidding, it was a disaster. It wasn't a major shift; rather, it was a series of modest changes. Things like accidentally cursing or hanging out with him at ungodly hours. You convinced yourself that everything was OK.

He drew you into your room and sat you down while hovering over you, gently caressing your body and kissing you.

You smiled and drew him closer to you, wrapping your legs around his waist and bringing him down on you, closing the distance between you.

Heeseung has been on a mission to damage your "innocent demeanor" for the past two weeks. He intended to show you that it was all a charade and that no one is actually perfect. Despite not knowing what he was going to do, you were up for the challenge. That core part of you didn't take long to succumb to his immoral impulses.

What was the problem as long as you were both happy?

“Heeseung,” you say as he draws you closer to him and unclasps your bra with his free hand. As you slowly rise to assist him, you toss the material to the ground and reach for his sweatpants.

“Someone a little needy, but we are not doing that today. Today is all about pampering my lovely angel. Is it all right?”

Nodding your head, you keep an eye on him as he goes between your legs, halting at the bottom as he eyes your breast and grasps softly as your body adjusts.

“Hurry up,” you grumble as you stare at his sinister grin. As you moan, he places gentle lips along your folds, leaning down to your core. As you twitch under his touch, his finger makes a fast dive between your folds, inciting dampness.

As you whine from the pressure, your eyes flutter shut as he switches his finger out with his tongue, softly licking up your surface.

“mm, close,” you exclaim, your lips wide open as he notices your clit, tongue flicking lustfully against it. As he presses harder on your sensitive region, he laughs as you break apart under his power.

“Oh God, right there.” 

“Please don't involve Him in this.” He hits a place as your high comes crashing down on you, chuckling at your reaction. Heeseung is holding you down and watching you quiver wildly as you release juice, which causes him to swallow it before wiping his mouth. As you fall onto his body, overwhelmed and still sensitive to the sensation, he pulls you up.

He lays your exhausted body next to his and wipes any excess arousal from his mouth before kissing your lips.

You both lay in a comfortable stillness for the remainder of the night, your breathing slowly returning to normal as you sign into his arms.

“Perhaps you're right; we're all just horny, messed-up creatures; I mean, even though what we're doing is completely wrong, it was fun to break the rules. My entire life has been focused on doing the right thing and being this upstanding angel. It's fun to deviate from the norm.” As Heeseung witnessed you erupt in rage, you became agitated.

“You’re cute when you’re mad, also I told you.” You both chuckled as you pushed him to the side before coming to a halt in the middle of your conversation, looking concerned at him.

“However, I leave tomorrow and I don't think I'll be ready to see you off, and this was not in my plan.”

“Shhh, I figured it out; just stick to my plan and we'll both come out on top.”

You sat closer to him, nodding your head and clasping your hand in his as you allowed sleep to take over your body.

As you may know, angels and humans have quite distinct punishments; some humans are never punished for their wrongdoings, whereas angels' actions are usually discovered one way or another.

And you were terrified that they would find out. The person who fell from the edge was not the same person who was returning back and everyone was going to know it. Just not right now, you had to maintain your composure as you approached your overseer.

As you were greeted with the overseer and some guards, you held Heeseung by his chains and whispered something into his ear.

“I see you were having a good time?” You shook your head and looked down, worried. You looked up at her with sad eyes.

“Yes, High Lord, I am aware of my error and what needs to be done in order to be purified once more. I accept complete responsibility for this assignment, but I crack him first, and we have all the secrets we need.”

As he observed you return to the opposite side with the overseer, Heeseung's gaze shifted up in fright. Fearing for his life, he flailed his wings in an attempt to flee.

“What the hell, Y/N, I thought we were on the same team.” How could you betray me in such a way?” You walked over to his trembling body and pushed him down so you were above him, laughing loudly. You patted his shoulder as you cackled.

“And they said angels could be trustworthy. I know what I'm worth, and it has nothing to do with you. Heseeung, please accept my apologies. Get him out of here.” The guards grabbed his chains and dragged him to a chamber across the room from you.

As she began to compliment you on your efforts, the supervisor wrapped her arm around your shoulder.

“I'm proud of you, Y/N, even though you used some terrible techniques. I knew you'd be able to pull it off.”

You grinned joyously and thanked her for her faith in you as you looked up at her face. You cast another peek at Heeseung as she stepped forward, and he winked at you. Smirking before he disappeared into the room you chuckled at his behavior.

Everything was going swimmingly, and no one had a clue. I suppose taking over Heaven would be a simple task; if you can blow up the inside, everything will fall apart on its own.

"How could you hide this from all of us?" "Oh God, you underestimated me."

The Beauty of Sin.

☆ ҉ ◢▅◣

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[blu-joons]

DATING NCT A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Johnny Seo

A ⇴ AFFECTION

He loves using his height to wrap you up nice and tightly in his arms. He often can’t help but rest his head on top of yours or pick you up so that you’re at the same height as he is so that your lips are much more accessible to him.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

You noticed at the event that you met Johnny, that he talked to most people. You were sure he was just being friendly when he spoke to you too, he was getting along with everything, but he definitely found himself drawn to you that night, even if you weren’t too sure whether he was nice, or coming onto you.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

For the next few occasions that you met, you weren’t sure if Johnny was really into you, or if he was just a complete sweetheart. However, at the end of one event, when he asked you if you were free to head out with him to maybe get dinner together, all of your questions were answered. Words completely failed you when you realised what was happening, all you could manage was a nod of your head to give him an answer.

D ⇴ DATES

He loved physical dates, he loved to be able to show off how strong he was, usually taking you bowling or down to the arcade. The one good thing about Johnny though was that he wasn’t too competitive, he loved to let you win and give your ego a bit of a boost. And as the rules usually were between the two of you, whoever lost paid for dinner, and he much preferred treating you to a meal rather than the other way around. He wasn’t someone who liked to dress up and sit to dinner, he much preferred adventuring and exploring the city with you.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

Johnny was yet to date since he moved to Korea many years ago, so his first relationship felt like a long time coming. He was very protective of your relationship from the start, whilst he didn’t want anything to get in the way of his happiness, he also knew that there were rules in place, and he was very respectful of that. He spoke to management a lot about your relationship, he didn’t want to put a foot out of line, but he was also incredibly keen on making sure that you were happy and well looked after. At times, he didn’t quite know how he found the balance.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

Some people mistook Johnny for a bit of an intimidating man as he was one of the tallest members, but you knew he was anything but. Johnny very rarely fought with you, he doesn’t like conflict, but he does acknowledge that sometimes the two of you can disagree on things. He’s very good at talking things out with you, he refuses to let the two of you make an argument cause too big of a deal. If you want space, Johnny will give it to you, but as soon as he’s back with you, he’ll throw his arms around you and refuse to let you go for a very long time until you promise not to argue about the same thing ever again.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

With his family in America, it took a very long time for you to get the chance to meet them in person. So, you and Johnny dedicated a couple of hours each week to call his family so they could get to know you. They appreciated the effort you went to in order to get to know them, which meant they fell in love with you very quickly.

H ⇴ HOME

Johnny loved being in the dorm, but he was also quite keen to move on quite quickly and find a place with you. The one good thing about rooming with Haechan was that he was the youngest, so if Johnny wanted him to leave the dorm room for a while, he would do in an instant, and usually bunk in with Taeyong for the night.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

When you heard rumour that the boys had a week free from their schedule, you arranged for the two of you to fly back to Chicago. As soon as Johnny found out what you were up to, he couldn’t help but be the first person to say, ‘I love you.’ He was overwhelmed, and not really thinking straight, but one thing he was sure of was that he really loved you.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

It was a feeling that Johnny didn’t tend to feel too often, he trusted you, and he trusted all the people that the two of you were friends with. If he was feeling jealous, then he would usually stay pretty silent and move his arm so that it rested around him. A tight grip around you was usually a strong sign to you that Johnny was feeling a little bit insecure, so you’d work hard to make sure that he felt safe around you and reassure his mind that he had nothing to worry about and that the two of you were absolutely fine.

K ⇴ KIDS

He already was the dad of the group, so it only really felt like a natural step for him to become a proper dad one day. Whilst he knew having a family was a little way off just yet, Johnny had certainly discussed the matter with you. He was lucky that he didn’t have to enlist at some point in his career, highlighting when many of his members would go away as a possible chance for the two of you to really start settling down.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

Johnny’s jokes were one of the first things that attracted you to him, he loved to make people laugh with his humour, but also his clumsiness. You were forever reaching out to catch him when he tripped up a step or banged his body against an object that he paid no attention to. As much as you knew you shouldn’t laugh at him, you struggled to believe how one person really could be so clumsy. It hurt Johnny, a lot, but knowing that his misfortune helped to put a smile on your face certainly softened the blow for him a little bit.

M ⇴ MISSING

Having spent so long away from home, Johnny never thought that homesickness would be something that bothered him again, until he met you. He felt like he was a teenager all over again the first time he was without you, it was impossible for him to describe how hard he found it without you. It hurt the other members too, Johnny was usually such a sunshine in the group, to see him struggle without you being around was a struggle for them all, but they’d always make sure to rally around him and make him feel better, reminding him every day that it was another step closer to being able to be back with you.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

His nicknames for you were definitely when his Americanisms would come out. ‘Babe’ or ‘baby’ were usually the two that he’d call you, leaving the rest of the members confused from where that had ever come from.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Johnny was obsessed with your height, you were the perfect height for him to be able to rest against, but also curl up tightly into his chest.

P ⇴ PDA

He was very protective of you, especially in public, and his affection definitely showed that off. He’d always have an arm around you, he didn’t care where the two of you were, just a small hold against your body was enough to reassure him that you were by his side and safe, which was all that he ever wanted.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

Whenever he does anything, he loves to ask for your opinion on it. It could be something as simple as deciding what flavour ice cream he wants; he’ll still ask you what you think and which one he’d end up enjoying the most.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Johnny loves taking photographs, especially of you. He has a whole album on his phone dedicated to you, which is all hidden so that no one else can see them. The album certainly makes being away from you a little bit easier, when he’s feeling down, he’ll soon finding himself smiling again when he looks through all the photos of you that he’s taken, the more candid, the better, as far as Johnny was concerned.

S ⇴ SEX

He loves to be the dominate one, he loves to show off to you how strong and powerful he is and keep you wrapped up tightly in his arms. Whilst he might be dominate, he’s also very gentle, he always makes sure to take the best care of you and will always put your needs above any of his. He prides himself on knowing exactly what you like from him and will make sure that he delivers every single time.

T ⇴ TEXTS

The two of you don’t tend to text each other too often, you’ll usually call instead so that you can hear each other’s voices. Texts are usually reserved for when you’re in a rush and left with no time to pick up the phone.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

He’d spent so long at the company, and away from home, you were the perfect in between. He loved that you were a distraction for him away from work, but he loved that with you, he felt like he was back home again.

V ⇴ VACATION

The moment he had the chance to go on holiday, he was desperate to take you and introduce you to his family. He’d told them practically everything there was to know about you, except for meeting you in person. So, when he finally had the chance to introduce you to them, Johnny jumped at the chance to take you there.

W ⇴ WHINING

He doesn’t usually whine a lot; he’s very understanding and only takes up your time when you have it available to spend with him.

X ⇴ XXXXX

The favourite place to kiss on you for Johnny is definitely the top of your head. He loves to emphasise that he’s taller than you and make you feel small. He loves looking down at you and seeing how cute you look whenever your cheeks turn red as a result of a kiss from him. He knows that his kisses are your weakness and will definitely use that against you to get whatever he wants from you, with a big smile on his face.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his home away from home, the one that filled the hole in his heart.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

He loved to be the big spoon whenever the two of you slept and wrap his arms around you. He’d pull you so tight that you’d usually have to beg for him to let you go a little bit so that you could fall asleep as well.

---

Masterlist

#nct #nct imagine #johnny #johnny imagine #johnny seo #johnny seo imagine #nct 127 #nct 127 imagine #nct johnny #nct 127 johnny #nct scenario #nct reaction #nct drabble #nct one shot #nct fluff #johnny scenario #johnny reaction #johnny one shot #johnny drabble #johnny fluff #kpop #kpop imagine

[dabilove27]

How Far We've Come

Paring: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Angst, Character Death, Smut (female-receiving oral), A Cocky Dabi, Cussing, A lot of Pet Names

Word Count: 7.8K

A/N: This is my contribution to the Smut Pile Apocalypse Collab! If you have the time check out some of the other amazing pieces! Everyone has worked so hard to make some beautiful fics!

Thank you so much to my wife @lady-lunaaa for reading, encouraging, brainstorming, and helping me the whole way from start to finish. I have said it before but I will say it again. You are absolutely amazing and this fic wouldn't exist without you! 💜 Also thank you @/deathcab4daddy (not sure if you want to be tagged) for taking the time to read through and for your advice!

You've seen all those movies, the decaying zombie hoards, the massive explosions that wipe out nations, or an unexpected illness that mysteriously kills off the population. But you had never really expected for any of those apocalyptic things to become true in your own world.  They were just fiction, never something that could actually occur. Yet here you are faced with the reality of a hoard of rotting zombies. Like you have been thrown into one of the many movies or TV shows yourself.

People aren't even sure how it happened, especially in a world full of quirks where this should be somewhat controlled, right? Wrong, whatever caused this zombie apocalypse also seemed to nullify quirks over time. There was so much speculation whether it came into the water supply or passed through the air. But none of that really seems to matter anymore when you are fighting for your life every day.

And as the mass of decaying, walking corpses steps closer and closer to you, it seems like your end is near too. The smell of organs exposed to the air and sun stink up the room.  You can see the blank, milky white eyes of the undead that somehow can still find you even though they can't really see.  You've had a partner, at least—the man who has stood with you during this entire shit show.

He stands close to you, a single rusted knife covered in stagnant blood, not nearly enough even combined with whatever you could find for fighting off the seemingly endless mindless bodies coming your way. He's covered in burn scars and rusted staples that pull at his healthy skin. People used to jab at him for looking like the walking dead before all this went down.  His firepower from before would have solved this problem in an instant. This rotting mob wouldn't have stood a chance.

But instead, it looks like it's the conclusion for the two of you. Memories flash through your mind. A memory of escaping the daily struggle of your mundane life by sharing take-out on your old couch.  Or how his kisses always felt like burning flames against your lips.  Your regular life consisted of trying to numb the pain of the past with alcohol or working endless hours.  Even though you didn’t have a traditional relationship where you could go on public dates, being in a relationship with a well-known villain was worlds better than this. But if you were going to die, at least it was together. Solidarity in times like this seems to help the never-ending dread that the Reaper looming around every corner ready to take you.  Every moment in this new hell had you wished you had more time to develop your romance with him instead of the tragedy that was about to befall you. You wished you had more time with this romance and that it wouldn't end in tragedy. It's hard to believe that there was ever a time when you couldn't stand this man, but even now, that's a fond memory for you.  You would give anything to return to that old bar where the two of you met and relive all of these memories.

It really isn't a surprise that you met Dabi in a dark, run-down bar near Kamino.  No, not the "bar" run by Kurogiri; everyone who lived in this area knew that it was just a setup. This bar is a tiny little hole in the wall with paint chipping off the walls and where the seats were hardly held together anymore, but that didn't really matter to people who lived in this area. You didn't come to this bar for a luxury experience.

The main reason people came to this bar was its location.  It sat deep in a seedy area which meant no police patrolling nearby so you wouldn’t need to look over your shoulder constantly.  Plus, the cheap liquor was enticing enough.

Every Friday night, you were perched on one of the worn-out bar stools as you nursed your gin and tonic.  This was your place to unwind after another hellish week of your mundane job.  It was still early enough in the evening that the bar wasn't thoroughly packed with bodies trying to get their drink.  The music was still soft,  later it would blare whatever song was currently sitting at the top of the Billboard charts. You were able to turn your brain off and listen to other patrons' mindless chatter in the background.  You could just sip your drink, maybe take a shot or two if you felt like, and then head home to pass out.

You relished this little getaway, an oasis in the slums that made up your small world.  The bartender and regular patrons didn't bother you, so you could have your own peace.  But your Eden got interrupted by a cocky, fire-wielding asshole who had set his sights on you.

You didn't stir when said asshole plopped himself down in the barstool next to you with a thump.  It wasn't until the jerk actually spoke to you that you were brought out of your mindless daydreaming.

"Hey, pretty girl, what are you doing in a place like this?"  He said with a smooth tone.  You didn't even have to look at him to know he had an arrogant smirk plastered on his face.

Who the fuck does this asshole think he is? The irritated thought instantly pops into your head.  Anyone who frequented this bar knew you were from around here.  You weren't some soft, delicate flower that wasn't supposed to be "on this side of town."  Preparing yourself by putting on your best "I'm not interested face," you maneuvered your body to face him, ready to tell him off.

Your words caught in your throat as your eyes met his two endless pools of cerulean.  Your gaze shifted to take in the burnt skin clinging onto the shining staples that were rooted in his healthy skin. A familiar black coat spread across his frame that was even more recognizable than those eyes, and the patronizing smile that you wanted to slap off his face. As much as you wanted to throw up your middle finger at him and tell him off, you knew who this was. Hell, everyone knew who this was.

The League of Villains didn't necessarily keep quiet around here. They didn't have to. This is the area where they recruited people to join them. You didn't just flick off and ignore a LOV member. Especially the infamous Dabi, who wasn't really known for his kindness or compassion. More for his ability to burn anyone who defied The League to a crumbling crisp.

But still, who did this asshole think he is? Waltzing in here like he owned it and saddling down into your escape from the world only to tell you that you don't look like you should be here?  Fuck that nonsense, League member or not.

You swallow down a bit of the initial anger as your eyes narrow into a glare at the cocky asshole.  "Thanks but no thanks, I'm not interested in being involved with the League. So if you don't mind going somewhere else to scout, that would be great." You try to say without a tremble in your voice as you wave your hand in a "shoo" motion.

You aren't sure what you expect Dabi to do next., burn down the whole bar you included? Tell you that you have no choice but to join, and you're coming with him? Rip you out of your seat and reprimand you for disrespecting The League? But instead, none of those things happen.  Instead, he does something you don't expect, and his grin grows a little wider as the staples begin to pull more at his healthy flesh.

You can feel your anxiety rising. Get out, get out, get out, this asshole will kill you, leave NOW, your mind is practically sending off every warning signal it can.

Your chest tightens when Dabi lets out a low chuckle. "Oh no, sweetheart, you've got it all wrong."  He says with a dark tone. "I'm not recruiting you for work. My interest in you is personal."  Dabi points at you and then at himself and finishes with an infuriating smirk that seems to be mocking you.  He's moved his hand and placed it on your forearm that was resting on the smooth bar top.

A shiver runs through you as the mismatched textures of his skin and the cool metal of the staples.  You feel your anger bubbling up again.  How dare this jerk think that you will just fall for him like a desperate fangirl.  You are livid at this point, frustration coursing through your veins, fuck the niceties and preservation. He needed to be put in his place.

"I know you think you are some big shot because The League is doing so well right now but fuck off asshole.  I'm not a League groupie that will just kneel down and suck your dick just because you want it." You spit out at him while shrugging off his hand and moving your body to face the way you were initially sitting. Grasping your drink and lifting it to your lips, you try and down what was left so you could leave immediately, any extra moment around Dabi was a moment you didn't want to have.

You were sure Dabi would have given up or at least killed you by now. You can't imagine that he is used to being rejected by women.  He's handsome in a way that doesn't fit with the norm.  He fills in that bad boy check-list like it's his job, which it practically is given his profession.  Again though, Dabi surprises you with his response. He doesn't yell, he doesn't use his quirk, and he doesn't kill you. He lets out another dark chuckle like he's enjoying this and continues the conversation you had tried to cut off.

"I didn't say anything about sucking dick, but if you're offering, who am I to turn down a gift?"  That smooth tone is back as he moves his hand to your hair and runs it through his fingers.

Bewilderment overcomes you, and you can't even stop yourself before you are turned towards him again, glass in your hand, ready to throw what's left of your drink on him.

As if he anticipated the response, Dabi moves quickly and grabs your wrist in a tight grip.  "Now, why would you want to waste what you have left, doll? That's not a very smart choice." His grip tightens a little more around your wrist, and you can feel the staples begin to dig into your skin as he lets out a deep chuckle. He moves your hand back down to the bar but doesn't let go even after your glass has left your hand.  "There we go, good girl.  Now let's talk just a bit." He says sweetly, loosening his grip just a bit, but not enough for you to move your hand.

If looks could kill, Dabi would have died a cruel death by now. You are seething at this point.  But instead, you're stuck there as he continues to do whatever it is that he’s trying to accomplish.  "What were you drinking?  I'll buy you another one and then leave, okay doll?"  He says playfully and with a cunning grin on his face as you mumble out your drink order.  You just want him to leave, and you really hope he plans on keeping his word.

Dabi motions for the bartender's attention, gives your drink order and plops a few bills on the bartop. He still hasn't let go of your wrist, and each and every moment he is even touching you, you can feel your annoyance continuing to build.  You want to ask him if he's done yet and will kindly get the fuck out, but you have a sneaking suspicion that he likes the cat and mouse game, which would just lengthen the amount of time he sticks around.

The bartender finally delivers your drink, and it takes everything in you not to rip your wrist out of his grasp and grab the new glass to pour over Dabi's head.  "Okay, one last question, and then I'll leave."  He drawls out as you put all your focus into the condensation forming on your glass.  You stay silent, waiting for his stupid question so you can move on and never see him again.  Dabi continues with that condesending tone that is starting to cause your head to ache, "How often do you come here? I'd love to see you again."

Your heartbeat picks up, and little shots of adrenaline start to flow through you as you contemplate how to respond. Of course, you don't want this asshole to know when you come here. This is your escape from the world. You never want to even see Dabi again,  but something from this interaction tells you Dabi isn't going to give up easily. So you tell him your regular time that you show up at the bar every Friday.

Dabi squeezes your wrist a little bit before letting out another "Good girl, sounds like a date.  I'll see you then." You never want him to know how those few words send a shiver down your spine. He saunters out of the bar without having a single drink himself. Patrons stare dumbfounded between you and the doorway that Dabi just exited, trying to comprehend what just happened.

You let out an exasperated sigh before leaning your head down into your folded arms.  The bar top isn't necessarily the cleanest of places to lay your head, but it’s pounding and racing with thoughts, and you can't really bring yourself to care right now.  You try to formulate a plan so you won't ever see him. You'll just move your regular day to Saturday instead of Fridays.  But then that stubborn anger flares inside of you again, and you sit up straight, glancing at your newly unwanted drink as the ice slowly melts, lifting the remaining liquid in the cup.  No, I'm not going to let that asshole ruin my spot for me.  He can come around here every Friday, but I'll turn that jerk down a million times. You think a little smugly to yourself.  We will see how the big bad Dabi feels being turned down over and over.  Maybe that will sting his ego.

And so you and Dabi play this game of cat and mouse. He comes every Friday when you are there without fail, buying you a drink, chatting to you with sentences filled with pet names, and planning another "date" each time.  And every time you tell him you aren't interested or to go away, or really anything to try and get that stupid fucking smirk off his face.  But it always remains cemented there as he watches you get fired up.  And what you don't realize is the two of you are getting to know each other.  Dabi adds in little questions, "what's your favorite food, least favorite, what do you do for work?"  And the questions go on and on.  You don't realize your walls coming down as the two of you find similarities in each other.  And if there is one thing anyone who sees these frequent interactions between the two of you can say, it is that Dabi is determined.

You are so used to Dabi's Friday visits that they don't bring headaches anymore, and you realize something more has developed when he doesn't show up one week.  A mixture of feelings rests in you, anxiety, confusion, anger.  You wonder if he's okay, or has he finally given up.  And then anger if he has.  You don't want to admit it, but you miss his company, and you don't even have a number to reach out to him.  You feel a sense of loss in your chest.  How could he just give up?  He's been trying for months!  You think as tears begin to sting for a moment in your eyes.

You leave the bar that night not feeling uplifted or relaxed but sad and angry.  And you aren't necessarily looking forward to returning the week after, but you do come back to your regular spot and hope Dabi will show.  Your heart almost stops in your chest when you see him walk through the entrance of the bar, and before you can contain the words, they tumble out in a frantic sound, "where were you last week?"  You are standing in front of him now, looking up at that little grin he always has on his face whenever you get annoyed with him.  You cross your arms over your chest and exclaim, "Well? I'm waiting."

"Aw, did you miss me, baby girl?"  His poker face never falls, but his grin grows a tiny bit wider as he stares into your fiery eyes.  And without warning, he wraps one of his long arms around you, pulling you into a tight side hug.

A small eep escapes you at the movement, and you move to push him off.  "What the hell are you doing? Answer my question, you jerk!" You practically yell as you push away from him.  He doesn't let go and just pulls you tighter to him, and you find yourself not struggling anymore as you take in the weathered texture of his coat pressed against your arm and the smell of cigarettes on him.  You feel your walls starting to fall entirely, "I was really concerned about you." You let out in a whisper, not really wanting to admit it to him, but you weren't sure how you would feel if something like this happened again.

"Aw, babe, you did miss me."  The delight in his voice makes you shiver a little.  He gestures you over to your regular spot at the bar, and the two of you sit down in the weathered chairs.  He puts a calloused finger under your chin to bring your gaze to his.  You stare into his cerulean depths that you used to hate and find yourself softening a bit.  "I had to do something for The League, but I don't have your number, love.  So I couldn't call and let you know I wouldn't make our date."  His face relaxes a bit as he watches your frown turn into a bit of pout.

"Okay, well fine, I'll give you my number.  But don't just text me randomly, okay?"  You huff as you lay your palm flat and motion for his phone.  Dabi chuckles and shakes his head before handing you the phone without another word.  Lifting the phone, you type your number into the cracked screen and hand it back to him.  "Okay, now text me, so I have yours. " You say, moving to grab your phone to wait for his upcoming text.

"Hmmm, I don't think so, doll,"  Dabi says, taking in your furrowed brow and then relishing in the way you roll your eyes at his taunting.

"Fine, whatever, Dabi.  Just text me next time you can't make it."  You say sourly while searching for the bartender to order your drink.  You don't want Dabi to see the slight sting of hurt in your eyes because he won't give you his.  The rest of the night goes as expected, drinking and talking, and you find yourself laughing more, not realizing how much you truly enjoyed this time with him.

The two of you depart with another hug, this one much shorter than the first, but you find yourself leaning into the warmth that radiates from him instead of wanting to push him off.  As you begin walking down the street home, you feel a buzz in your pocket.  Pulling out your phone, you unlock it to the message from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: Hey babe, see you same time next week - D

A small smile comes to your face as you type a response back.

The following year you grow in your relationship with Dabi.  There are never really any titles between the two of you.  Just that the two of you are together.  You never meet The League. Dabi is insistent you aren't involved with them in case things go awry.  But you spend a lot of time together when work or villain work doesn't take up the time.

Your relationship together comes to a head at the very start of the apocalypse.  The two of you sit snuggled together on your worn-out couch watching the news as a young reporter stands in front of a local research building in town and goes through the facts of citizens becoming "mindless and violent in a matter of hours."  And how they have people under lockdown who are experiencing symptoms of this "mysterious illness."

A slight shiver goes through you as the reporter goes on.  "That's really scary. No one knows what's causing it,"  you reflect aloud while you lean in closer into Dabi's outstretched arm that is resting around your shoulders.

"Aw, babe, don't be scared.  Those mindless fools wouldn't stand a chance if they tried to lay a hand on you while I'm there,"  Dabi says with a glint of amusement in his voice.  He always sounds so condescending, but you know it's the truth.  Remembering a time at the bar when a guy wouldn't take no for an answer-not that Dabi really followed that either- but Dabi didn't hesitate to let the guy know you were already taken.  He flirts and likes to jab a lot, but there’s a complete shift in the atmosphere when he's serious.

"Ugh, Dabi, you know I don't mean them attacking us. It's whatever is causing it that worries me. What happens if one of us gets it?  There's no cure right now,"  You say and worry your lower lip between your teeth.

Dabi picks up on your anxious state, and his cocky facade fades.  He pulls you on his lap so that you are fully facing him with legs pressed on either side of his.  Dabi holds one large hand on your waist, and the other he presses to your cheek.  Leaning your cheek further into his hand, Dabi moves his thumb to trace over the slight marks in your lip where your teeth were just placed.  "Hey, listen to me, nothing is going to happen, okay?  I won't let any of these maniacs hurt you, and we won't catch whatever they have,"  Dabi says tenderly as he gives you a small smile.

It's nice to see him like this- when his mask of superiority disappears, and he's focused on encouraging you.  It doesn't happen often because you like to keep walls.  Comfort from Dabi doesn’t need to happen often but you can’t say you don’t like it when he does.  You enjoy these softer moments with him that only you get to see.

You pull Dabi into a light kiss.  The gentle pressure of his mismatched lips fit seamlessly against yours.  You pull away after a moment to look into his deep blue eyes that now captivate you.  Dabi has that coy smile still on his face, and as his eyes meet your in that moment, it's like the horrible events of the world aren't happening anymore.  All that seems to exist is the two of you, not the TV still prattling in the background or even the noises outside your city window.

Dabi lightly caresses your cheek down to the length of your neck and finally ending near where your collarbones sit.  Everywhere he touches leaves behind a trail of goosebumps on your skin.  Even with these simple touches, you can feel yourself starting moving against him, trying to create a bit of friction.  Dabi knew how easily he could rile you up with simple touches.  It was frustrating at times, and you wished you could have the same effect on him.

"I love you, babe.  And no matter what, I won't let anything hurt you,"  Dabi tells you, and you swear his voice seems to be cracking, but the moment is gone before you can think about it.  Dabi lives on being mysterious most of the time, and you rarely get to see this vulnerable side of him.  Even if he doesn't say it behind that mask of cockiness, you can feel that there is fear of what's happening right now.  Or at least that's what you think the fear is from, but Dabi will never admit the fear is from losing you to whatever this is.  He isn't sure he could survive this hell of a life he's been given without you.

Your heart aches at his sincere words from earlier, and you whisper back, "I love you too, Dabi."  Drawing him into a more intense kiss.  Dabi begins to run his fingers along the hem of your t-shirt and delicately brushes the skin right under with his fingertips.  You feel a moan bubble up inside of you, but his mouth moving against yours swallows the sound.

"I want you so bad, doll.  Let's just forget what's going on right now, let the world fall away,"  he says in a husky voice after breaking away from the kiss.

You nod to him before letting out a content sigh and letting your eyes fall shut while Dabi continues to trace his hands over your body.  Dabi trails his massive heated hands under the thin shirt you are wearing and down to your hips.  You can feel the bulge of his cock through his jeans as it begins to press against your clothed core.

Opening your eyes, you meet Dabi's half-lidded lustful eyes and bite your bottom lip and allow yourself to give into Dabi taking over you.

You can feel your heart beating a little faster, watching Dabi drink in every ounce of you.  Dabi is one of the only men you have ever trusted like this.  To have you so totally vulnerable.  It's strange how someone you didn't want anything to do with for months has become someone you rely on for everything- love, comfort, pleasure.

Dabi places open-mouthed kisses along your neck that leave you breathless.  "Fuck, I'm obsessed with every inch of you,"  Dabi growls out before returning to kissing and sucking your neck and exposed collar bone.

You grip Dabi's shoulder to ground you back from floating away into complete bliss and tip your head out to give him more access to your neck.  Dabi's mouth is like a flame that licks at your sensitive skin as he continues to trail his mouth all over.  You could be trapped in this pleasure forever.

Dabi grasps the back of your head and roughly brings your lips back to his.  With your mouths slotted against each other, you moan as Dabi finesses you to where you are lying on your back on the old couch, and he is hovering over you.

You break the kiss to quickly pull off his jacket and expose Dabi's scarred arms.  And just as you have only trusted Dabi fully with yourself, he has done the same.  Of course, the two of you have had sex with other people, mostly with lights off clothing still left on to hide the imperfections.  But with each other, there is no more hiding.

Heat begins to pool in your belly as you watch Dabi pull off your shorts and slide his warm hands all the way back up your leg and massage the plush skin of your thighs.  Once your shorts are removed, Dabi brings himself back to your face and, with a lustful sigh, traces kisses on your jaw and neck.

"Just relax and let me take you away from all of this, love.  I want to hear every sound you make." He growls as he moves down towards your pussy and lays himself between your spread legs.  Dabi lifts your thighs to rest on his shoulder as you let out a little gasp.  You can feel the excitement and heat rising in you.

Dabi kisses down the inside of your soft thighs and stops to suck at certain spots, leaving minor marks in their place.  He stops for a moment until you are looking directly into his captivating gaze, and then he licks a stripe up your pussy over the cotton of your underwear.  You let out a breathy moan at the sensation.   That jerk knows precisely what he's doing.

Dabi then grabs the thin material of your underwear and rips them away from your body with a tear. Groaning, you are about to curse at him for ruining another pair but are cut short when he sleekly licks up your folds. A delicate, playful moan leaves your separated lips.  Your eyes close, and you cling onto his white shirt to ground yourself.

"Baby girl, you're soaking wet," Dabi teases as if you weren't aware but cuts off any retort again with a quick suck to your aching clit. You can't hold back the loud moan that bubbles up in your throat.

Dabi smiles against your lower lips and continues his ministrations.   His mouth is open wide, so he can move back and forth from quickly licking up and down your sensitive pussy as well as suck softly on your clit.   You feel light-headed at the extended sensations, little whimpers and moans falling through your lips.  Dabi has always been able to leave you speechless with just his mouth.

"Dabi please," Your breathing hitches, and you moan out as he flicks his tongue repeatedly over your small bud. You can feel that hot pressure building in your stomach as Dabi continues. He laps at you like you are holding the only source of liquid left in this world, his tongue working wonders on your dripping hole.

Dabi pulls back and looks up at you as you eagerly meet his blue eyes, begging him to continue.  He smirks before lowering his mouth back down and laps at your sopping core teasingly.  Fucking bastard.  Always a tease from day one.

Dabi licks his lips before returning to eating you out even faster as a series of cries and obscenities continue to fall out of your mouth.  You can't hold them back.  His mouth is so hot and wet against your core.

With another curse, you tell him you are close. A sigh escapes your lips, and your head tosses back onto the cushy arm of the couch.  Dabi pulls away but inserts two fingers inside of you in place of his mouth.

"Fuck, sweetheart, as much as I want to hear you beg and plead for me,  I want to taste you right now."  Dabi lets out with a rough voice filled with desire.  You whimper as he continues to fuck you with his fingers.  He smirks at your blissed-out face and then returns his mouth to your pussy.  His tongue flicks over your clit repeatedly as whines and cries continue to be let out of your mouth.  Back arching, you bite at your lip, barely able to even process the words that came out of Dabi just a moment ago.

"Oh, fuck, Dabi, please. Please, I'm gonna cum soon." The words fall from your lips, and your mind feels numb to everything except the feeling of Dabi's tongue on your pussy.

Dabi grunts and gives another hard suck to your clit before pulling away just a bit.  "Hell yeah, babe, come all over my face."

Your eyes roll back, and your mouth opens with another cry as your legs begin to tremble as the tension starts to rise in your stomach. One more lick, and you know you'd come. Dabi's continued suckling of your clit sends you careening over the edge. Your cries fill the room, and your back arches as your legs try to squeeze around his head.  Dabi continues to suck and lick as you orgasm.  Panting and with your eyes twisted shut, you cling to his shirt as you start to come down.  A final curse gently leaves your mouth as you wait for your legs to stop shaking.  Dabi takes one last long slow lick before sitting back and wiping his face with the back of his hand.  You can't bring yourself to move from the couch, still panting and weak.

Your mind starts slowly coming back to you as the bliss begins to leave.  The realization of everything happening in the world washes over you.  But you were thankful Dabi took the time to distract you from the horrors of what's going on.  You move over so Dabi can cuddle with you on the couch.  It isn't much room, but it feels good to be this close with him, wrapped in each other's arms.  You both slowly start to drift off to sleep, but you don't miss Dabi's final words mumbled into your hair, "I'll never let anything happen to you."

Shortly after that, the world seems to descend into madness.  The illness grows more and more rampant.  People are getting infected every day.  Whether it's through the original source of contamination or by those contaminated biting or scratching someone.  Panic spreads throughout the country.  But through all of it, you and Dabi stick together.

From the moment it was declared an emergency Dabi was banging at your door, insisting the two of you find somewhere safer than your run-down apartment.  Because while the two of you needed sleep, whatever these things are could go non-stop, and your apartment was not fortified.

You and Dabi lost your quirks a month after the emergency declaration, along with the rest of the population. People couldn't fight these zombie-like creatures off anymore.  Like all the movies and TV shows, the bodies became more zombies than actual living people.

After a while of jumping around from a destroyed place to another, the two of you found yourself in an apartment building that had a sturdy enough entrance that the zombies couldn't break through.  The daily struggles were still hard, though. Finding food and water to survive became a daily task for the two of you.  Through all of this, he never left your side. He always insisted the two of you stay together.  And so you did.  Fighting the living dead, but sometimes the living too when things got even more terrible, and scavenging was your everyday routine now.

You lost track of time and could only follow when the seasons changed.  But Dabi was really the only thing getting you through this.  Seeing people destroy one another for food or shelter destroyed you inside.  Never knowing if these zombies you were killing were someone you had known at one point, or just another faceless dead person tore at every corner of your brain.  Dabi stayed strong for the two of you.  Holding you every night on the ripped blankets, you could gather for the strange bed the two of you slept in.  You would sob into his muscled chest about how you couldn't live in this world anymore, how you couldn't kill another person, alive or dead.

But Dabi would never let go.  He would hold you close and let your never-ending tears stain the only shirt he had now.  He would rub your back with his warm hands; even though his rusting staples would catch on your shirt and rip from his skin, he still did it.  He would hold you until you fell asleep, whispering how strong you were and how he could never do this without you.  And after all the tears, you were thankful too.  Because without him, you'd be dead or alone.  You knew that without Dabi, you would have never survived this long.

But you could see Dabi was hurting too.  You couldn't find supplies to treat his decaying skin.  He hid his daily pain from you, but when Dabi thought you weren't looking or listening, he would hiss at the pain of another staple pulling at his burnt skin or let out a huge sigh when he would try to put it back together, but it wouldn't cooperate.

The only hope the two of you held onto was each other and that possibly a cure would come soon.  Not that either you could really access that information with no electricity; there wasn't any way to get information other than hearsay.  You survived the best you could in this world.

And as much as this wasn't what you would have picked for either of you, at least you had each other.  You tried not to think of a time when you wouldn't be together, even though the chances of that happening were high- it hurt too much. To survive in this world without Dabi would be too fucking much.

It's almost as if fate chose to play a cruel game with the two of you.  It seemed like a "normal" trip out to scavenge for food and water.  The two of you had to expand your search area since places closer were mainly empty.

This time you found yourself outside of a convenience store, a reasonable distance away from your home.  It hadn't been completely destroyed by some miracle and was not overrun by the zombified people.  Still, in a state of decay, though, Dabi was quickly able to kick his heavy boots through the door and get the two of you in.

Sauntering through the gas station, you quickly begin to pick up canned food and stale bags of chips and shove them in your worn backpack.  Dabi is doing the same on other aisles until he lets out a chuckle.  "Hey babe, look what I found."  He says with a cocky voice holding up a few boxes of wrapped condoms above the aisle for you to see.

You roll your eyes.  "Thanks, Dabi. Is sex really what we want to be thinking about right now? Let's just get this shit and get out."  You let out with an annoyed huff and continue to push the limits of how much your bag can hold.

Dabi comes over to your aisle and snakes his arms around your waist with your back pressed to his chest.  He places his chin on your shoulder and whispers in your ear.  "Yes, all I can think about is getting your beautiful body back home and finally being able to finish in you, and with these, I can."  He lets out a dark chuckle as he pulls you closer against him and bucks  his hips playfully.

"Okay, horn dog, let's get this shit done, and then we can do whatever you want back home."  You let out with an eye roll.  It's hard to stay mad at him. You know he's trying to keep things light for you, to keep you happy because he can see how hard this is.  And his regular teasing is one way he knows will bring a smile to your face.

As you are finishing up trying to take inventory of anything else in the store that you can take back, you spot the clear plastic that holds the cartons of cigarettes behind the cashier counter.  While you didn't necessarily want Dabi smoking, you knew he missed the vice. Cigarettes were just as hard to find as medicine in this new world.  Smiling to yourself, you move behind the counter and reach for the plastic flap to lift it up.

As you try to lift the latch, it doesn't budge. You look around for what might be blocking it before seeing the tiny silver keyhole to one side of the compartment.  Crap, of course, it's locked.    You really wanted to surprise Dabi with this.  Maybe you still could. The key had to be here somewhere, right? You think while scanning around the counter.  You try searching through the counters for a hidden key but no luck.  Letting out a heavy sigh, you call Dabi over.

Dabi wanders over to your annoyed face and can't help but smile at your slight pout.  "I wanted to surprise you! But I can't open it. Can you get it, please?"  It comes out almost like a whine as you gesture to the cigarettes.

Dabi's smirk turns into a genuine smile, and he pats the top of your head before saying, "My sweet doll.  Thank you for thinking of me. Let me help you out."  You could smack him, but instead, you watch as he hastily rips the plastic covering away and slips his hand below it to grab one of the wrapped cartons.

At that moment, everything changes.  The fun times the two of you were having shatters as a loud alarm rings through the store.  Panic floods your system as you stare at Dabi wide-eyed.  "There is no electricity. What's happening? There shouldn't be an alarm."  Horror is laced in your voice as words spill out of you.  Every walking corpse within miles will be here soon with the sound.

"Fuck, must have had a battery attachment. Come on, let's go."  Dabi's usual playfulness is gone as he abandons the cigarettes and grabs your hand.  He's grave now.  Getting the two of you out of here safely is his only goal.

You follow Dabi quickly, a hand grasped tightly in his as he runs towards the broken-down front door.   And that's when even more terror settles into you.  Zombies are pushing their way through the open door.  Their rotting bodies and white eyes focused on the area where the alarm is coming from.  There weren't many around when you broke in, but now it seems like they are multiplying by the moment.

"Fuck fuck fuck." Dabi curses under his breath, quickly turning around and pulling you towards the building's back exit.  You follow behind adrenaline surging through your veins fueled by your flight response.  Dabi grasps at the metal handle to the back door and shakes it only to find it locked.  "Damnit!"  he shouts before kicking the door violently.

Your heart is pounding, and you feel helpless as you stare at Dabi while he continues to slam himself at the door.  While the front door was glass and flimsier, this door was only budging slightly.  With all your focus on the door, you don't notice the continuously growing herd filtering into the gas station.  Not until you feel one brush against your shoulder.

Your eyes widen as you feel a scream bubbling in your throat.  This is it.   This is where the two of you die and either become fodder for a herd of living dead or turn into one yourself.   Your brain is pure panic as thoughts fly through faster than you can catch them.  You don't even realize you have screamed out Dabi's name until you see his face turn towards yours.

His typically blue eyes are almost entirely covered by his dark pupils as he takes in the monstrosities behind you.  But unlike you, he doesn't hesitate. He pulls out a knife he keeps in one of his pockets and slams it into the decaying skull of the zombie that is right behind you.  Splurts of dark blood hit your cheek as he pulls out the knife, and the creature behind you crumples to the floor.

"Keep trying the door! I'll keep them off you."  Dabi shouts, pulling you into the spot he previously stood.  Your heartbeat is so loud you can feel it in your head, and you can't even make a coherent response as you begin to slam your body against the solid surface.  You can feel it give a little more with each push of your body, and everything in you is screaming not to give up.  Doing your best not to glance at Dabi's grunting and movements as he continues to try and put down zombie after zombie.

You can't give up; this can't be the end . Desperately your brain is screaming as you continue to feel the door give more and more.  Your shoulder hurts from the continued impact, but you aren't letting it slow you down.  You can feel it; it's almost there.

Suddenly the door gives, and you can see the sun shining through on the other side.  You cry out in  relief and turn back to tell Dabi to come with you.  But as your eyes meet, fear fills every ounce of you.

He's still fighting them off, but there is a gaping bite wound on his right arm— rows of teeth marks embedded in his skin.  You feel like you're going to be sick. There is no coming back from this; there's no known cure.  At any point within the next twenty-four hours, he would be another one of the walking dead, no sense, no logic, and looking to consume others. This can't be happening, this can't be happening.  Your heart is sinking with every second that ticks by.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Get out! Get out!"  Dabi screams at you as he embeds his knife in another zombie.

"No, no, I can't leave without you!  I-we can find something.  I'll find something, please! Come on, Dabi, I can't do this without you!"  You are sobbing now, hot tears streaming through the dirt and blood mixed on your face.  An ache in your heart starts to form.  You know you don't know how to help him, but you'll do anything to not leave him behind.

Dabi lets out a grin despite the feral dead people closing in on him.  And gives you a wink before saying in a voice that seems too calm for the situation, "Come on, doll, you are the most intelligent person I know.  You have to go.  Live for us, babe.  Look at how far we've come.  Go show this world that it won't ever break you down. I love you, and I'll come to find you wherever you are in the afterlife and annoy the shit out of you.  Now go!"

It's like your heart is being ripped into a thousand pieces. Your breath comes out in short huffs, moving towards hyperventilating.  You want to go back to Dabi and cling on for dear life, but you won't let him die in vain.  Not after that speech.  That would be an insult to everything the two of you have overcome.  So with all your strength, you give your lover, the man who has come so far with you, the last look before letting out a final "I love you too" and burst out the door.

You don't look back, aching feet propelling you forward as tears continue to stream and fall off your face.  When you first met Dabi, you would have never thought you'd miss him.  But you will , you'll miss every snarky comment, every flirty glance, and the tender way only he has loved you.  The man that you were sure was just some asshole trying to get laid became the love of your life and sacrificed himself so you could live.  And you could never let that go to waste.

#smut pile collab #Dabi x reader #Dabi smut #tw: character death #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #Dabi fanfiction #my fic #how far we've come

[cheri-translates]

[CN] S2 Gavin and MC in Chapter 19 (Part Two)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers from Season 2 🍒

My focus is on Gavin x MC interactions, so content relating to the plot will be in bullet-points :>

Part One: here

[ Notable Scene: Infiltrating the STF ]

MC: ...but aren’t you relieved from your duties?

Gavin seems to guess the words I haven’t said, and he lets out a soft, unnatural cough.

Gavin: I know every patrolling post in the STF, patrol timings and angles of the surveillance cameras. I can ensure that we’d get in successfully without anyone noticing. However, since I only saw his face from four years ago...

MC: I’ll go with you. As long as I see his face, I can point him out to you.

Gavin has a teasing smile in his eyes, perhaps seeing the urgency written on my face.

Gavin: In that case, let’s go for a walk in STF tonight.

-

Late at night, Gavin and I infiltrate the STF through an outer wall.

Pale moonlight outlines a misty halo around him, softening his edges.

He finds an open window with ease. Lifting me up, he lets me jump through the window before leaping in himself.

This appears to be a utility room.

MC: Captain Gavin’s really good at this.

Gavin: This is the STF. I won’t bump into anyone even with my eyes closed, much less the walls.

Before Gavin finishes speaking, Tang Chao walks in with a bowl of instant noodles, a wicked smile on his face while he pushes the door open.

Tang Chao: Instant noodles must be eaten on the sly. Otherwise, I might-

When Tang Chao sees Gavin, he pauses in his footsteps.

In this short span of time, we look at each other speechlessly, the only thing left being the steam rising from the instant noodles.

All of a sudden, Tang Chao rolls his eyes, his body doing a 180 degree turn. With the instant noodles in hand, he steps out of the door before closing it.

Gavin: ...

MC: ...didn’t you say you wouldn’t bump into anyone even with your eyes closed?

Moonlight streams in from the window, illuminating the side of his face clearly. I turn my head stiffly, watching as his Adam’s apple bobs slightly.

Gavin: Tang Chao is slacking off.

Tang Chao’s slightly frantic voice can be heard indistinctly.

Tang Chao: Since Captain hasn’t been around, there were changes to the duty roster... Please save me. That was so awkward. Oh no, I don’t want to run laps...

I stare at Gavin quietly. His expression has returned to normal, as though nothing happened.

Gavin: It’s okay, let’s continue.

Gavin listens to the surroundings calmly. After a moment, he pulls me out of the utility room.

Suddenly, a set of uniform footsteps can be heard from behind us.

STF Agent: ...

Even before we can turn, the regular footsteps turn into small, scattered steps, akin to busy bees fleeing in disarray. The surroundings slowly return to silence.

MC: Have we been completely exposed...?

With a soft cough, a reddish hue climbs up the tips of Gavin’s ears.

Gavin: It doesn’t count if we aren’t caught. 

Eli (through the speakers): Hey hey hey.

Eli’s voice suddenly drifts from the STF’s broadcast speakers. Gavin carefully pulls me over to hide in a shadowy corner of the corridor.

Eli (through the speakers): ...due to some indescribable reasons, all the surveillance cameras in the STF will take a break for 15 minutes. If a certain colleague wishes to go somewhere or do something, please do so quickly.

Gavin: ...

MC: Pfft.

Seeing Gavin’s slightly speechless expression, I can’t help but laugh aloud.

This person is protected by many people who are unafraid of anything, isn’t he?

After this, we occasionally bump into familiar faces. However, they seem to have made a prior arrangement, and choose to ignore us.

Gavin seems to hesitate on whether he should make an explanation, but it eventually turns into one sigh after another.

In the end, we “very successfully” step into the room with the “Eye in the Sky” system.

Using the system, Gavin retrieves footage from the football match, and MC is able to identify the wheelchair-bound man, Du Wen

Gavin then searches up information on him as well as his approximate whereabouts

The both of them find him in a small alley

He admits that he’s the founder of the Fulcrum Charity Organisation, and has been assisting Gray Rhino in whatever he can

He claims that he means them no harm. To prove this, he allows MC to read his memories

Although they find the circumstances too convenient and deliberate, MC reads his memories because why not

She notices that certain memories have been stored in a misty bubble, just like the “firewall” she installed for Gavin earlier

Still, she searches for memories from the New Years Change Incident

She "sweeps” these memories into her own mind, and confirms that he’s indeed a victim of the incident

Gavin asks how he should contact Du Wen in the future, and the latter says he’d appear during a safe time

Once they leave, MC tells Gavin that they can use the Golden Apple 2 to display the memories she saw

Gavin says that Du Wen’s words aren’t trustworthy, but at least they have some leads that could further guide them to the truth

The next afternoon, MC learns from Kiki that the exhibition hall will be re-opening the next day. So she contacts Gavin and plan to sneak into it that same night

When she arrives, there’s someone else with Gavin - an elderly man with a missing left arm

She finds him familiar

[ Notable Scene: MC meets Captain Yan ]

Gavin: MC, this is the old policeman, Captain Yan. Today, he’s mainly here to cover for us. Captain Yan, this is...

Captain Yan: No need for introductions. You’ve mentioned her many times.

Before I can express my shock, Captain Yan sends me a warm gaze.

Captain Yan: MC, we met once at the hospital. I always hear your name from this young lad, so I’m pretty familiar with you.

Captain Yan smiles teasingly, then gives Gavin a meaningful look.

Captain Yan: If he ever bullies you, remember to tell me. As his senior, I’ll give him a proper scolding.

MC: O-okay! Thanks, Uncle Yan.

Gavin: Cough. We’ll leave the pleasantries for next time. We should go now.

With this, Gavin speeds up and walks forward, a faint red hue climbing up the tips of his ears.

Seeing Captain Yan’s grin, I hurriedly lower my head and follow after him.

MC: Gavin, wait for me!

With Captain Yan keeping watch, MC and Gavin use the Golden Apple 2

In the simulated memories of the New Years Change Incident, Gavin notices post-injection bruises on Du Wen’s hand

Du Wen and those around him don’t seem to know what’s going on, but they’re frightened due to the sounds of gunshots and explosions outside

A handful of Evolvers revolt, but are shot to death by officers dressed in NW uniforms

Du Wen flees, and the both of them follow after him

In the end, they watch as a beam crushes the lower part of Du Wen’s body

At the same time, a drone in the simulation appears to take aim at MC

[ Notable Scene: Gavin’s Protection ]

Gavin: MC!

An urgent exclamation drifts to my ears. Turning to the voice, I see Gavin lunging towards me involuntarily.

Those amber eyes grow large in front of me. In the next second, I’m enveloped in Gavin’s arms.

My cheek is pressed tightly to his chest, and powerful heartbeats echo at my ear.

His heart is beating very quickly - so quickly that my heart subconsciously matches its frequency.

“Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump.”

It’s as though these powerful heartbeats are the only things left in the entire world.

In every difficult or dangerous situation, I’m always able to hear this sound.

It’s as though they have melded into my bloodstream, becoming a kind of instinct.

Gavin: It’s fine, there's no need to leave the system.

Gavin’s hand is by his ear. After stating his judgement calmly, he looks at me.

Gavin: Are you okay?

MC: Gavin, this is fake.

Gavin: Mm. But my body seems to have reacted a little faster than my brain.

His amber eyes reflect the blood-coloured sky, filled with worry and fret that he hasn’t had the time to shed off.

Gavin: Whether it’s real or an illusion, I don’t want you to get hurt in front of me.

MC: But they would simply pass through my body.

Gavin: Not even if they pass through.

He speaks unyieldingly.

MC: Okay, whatever you say.

Gavin: Let’s get out of here.

They continue looking at the chaos and hear the sounds of crying and screaming

Gavin appears composed, but the fingertips holding onto MC are quivering, as though he's barely suppressing his anger at the injustice before him

The scene shifts, and what appears before them is a NW laboratory

Du Wen has thick tubes stuck all over him, and he’s submerged in a gigantic apparatus

MC traces that the memory is from 2 months prior to the New Years Change Incident

A senior official from NW walks in, and he seems to be in charge of a secret experiment

[ Notable Scene: Gavin and MC’s Future Father-in-law]

His eyes are steadfast and icy, as though nothing can sway him.

And nothing can destroy or obstruct him.

Gavin stands rooted to the spot. He watches as the man draws closer and closer to himself-

And walks straight through him.

Gavin has already matured into someone whose height is on par with his. They have incredibly similar features, and they even share an identical straight and powerful gait.

However, Gavin doesn’t turn around. His entire body remains stiff until the world gradually gathers into a patch of darkness.

He doesn’t move. The faint white light causes him to look pale.

Slowly, he lowers his head, covering his eyes.

I stand behind him, not saying a word.

That senior official is Gavin’s father.

Once they’re out of the Golden Apple 2, Captain Yan notices how solemn Gavin looks

Gavin takes Captain Yan and MC to a simple apartment to talk

Gavin fills Captain Yan in on what they saw

Captain Yan and Gavin start discussing what happened, and MC heads over to the window to look at the view despite the best view being Gavin

Gavin brings up the laboratory, and Captain Yan asks if he saw “that person”. Gavin grits his teeth and says, “I saw him.”

[ Notable Scene: The End of Chapter 19 ]

Gavin: MC, I’ll send you home.

By the time Gavin comes up from behind me, Captain Yan has already left.

I notice Gavin’s tense lower jaw. He seems to be doing his best to appear natural in front of me.

To appear as though he doesn’t care.

Seeing this person before me, I feel my heart being clenched tight.

MC: Gavin, I want to go somewhere before heading home. Could you accompany me?

-

When we leap over the walls of Loveland High, confusion flashes across his eyes.

The gentle evening breeze brushes his fringe, and his figure is immersed in patches of moonlight.

It’s been a very long time since I last returned to this place. But images from this place always surface in my mind.

The field, the stairs, the roof, the gymnasium late at night, and the infirmary.

During that period of time I had re-lived, I wanted nothing more than for time to move a little faster.

So that I’d be able to reach that day when I could walk over to him a little sooner.

However, this year, I’m reluctant to let time pass by as quickly. 

During the time in which the wind blew by, that young man filled all my memories related to youth.

That’s how reluctant I am.

That’s why I’ve been walking slowly on purpose. Even so, in just the blink of an eye, he disappeared in the breeze of youth.

Pulling on Gavin’s hand, we walk along the field, and walk into the depths of the forest behind the school.

MC: Gavin, I think you’re angry.

I turn my head to the side to look at him. Gavin simply furrows his brows slightly, and it’s clear that he feels a little uneasy.

MC: You don’t need to pretend that nothing’s bothering you in front of me. Anger isn’t something you should feel ashamed of.

Gavin: I...

He opens his mouth, but something sews it up again.

A fierce wind suddenly rises, causing countless fallen leaves to swirl in the air.

They are reminiscent of incessant, agonised screams.

Gavin: I... just can’t understand. There are clearly many other methods. There are many other choices.

His words are blended into the wind, suppressed and pained.

I don’t turn my head to look at his expression. I simply stand beside him quietly, our fingers interlaced together, standing in the middle of the fierce gale.

With the flow of time, the fierce gale becomes calmer. In the end, it morphs into a gentle breeze, brushing our fringes.

Gavin: MC, thank you.

I shake my head, turning my head towards him.

MC: Gavin, do you know something? The reason why I brought you back here was to tell you that I hope your beautiful memories won't simply be confined to high school. Beautiful things should continue, and never end.

While saying this solemnly, my heart speeds up uncontrollably.

Gavin’s pupils quiver slightly, and he squeezes my hands tightly.

Gavin: Thank you.

Very softly, he repeats these words.

MC: Let’s walk around a little more before heading home.

I chuckle happily, my footsteps becoming incomparably lighter.

All of a sudden, my palm feels empty -

It’s as though Gavin released my hand.

Feeling puzzled, I turn around to find that Gavin had simply shifted his hand behind his back.

MC: What’s wrong?

Gavin: ...nothing.

When the girl’s confusion is dispelled and she continues walking forward, Gavin lowers his head to look at his vanished right arm, his expression composed.

As compared to his right hand disappearing the last time, the scope seems to have grown larger this time.

Gavin follows behind the girl calmly, contemplating quietly.

His time might be shorter than he imagined.

Gavin chuckles softly, the corners of his lips hooking upwards slowly.

Gavin: MC.

I pause in my footsteps and turn around, realising that we’re several footsteps apart.

MC: Gavin, what’s wrong?

Gavin: I just received news from Captain Yan. I might have to leave for a while.

MC: So suddenly?

Gavin: Sorry. After sending you home, I’ll set out.

He looks at me apologetically, as though suppressing something once again.

-

After returning home, I quickly remove my shoes and rush to the window to search for that figure.

Guessing that I’d do this, Gavin doesn’t leave immediately. He stands downstairs, waiting for me.

A gust of wind burrows in through the window, as though carrying with it slight reluctance as it makes gentle twirls around me again and again.

I lean my palm against the glass, wanting to say another farewell to him.

MC: Gavin, you must return safely.

💙 Calls and Moments: here

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#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc gavin

[alreadyblondenow]

Second Star to the Right | Na Jaemin

✦ Jaemin x reader ✦ Fluff, Smut, Smut, Smut, Angst, Fairy AU ✦ 1/5 for HOLIDAY SERIES: Once Upon A December

Summary: Jaemin is a mere tooth fairy who’s just doing his job collecting teeth became you’re one and only true friend. You have strict parents so you crave for adventure and so Jaemin offered you one and brought you to Neverland. As you two grew old together, you became closer and soon fall in love with each other. Seasons change and so does your feelings towards Jaemin. Will a tooth fairy and a human will have a happy ending?

Word count: 7,532k

Warnings: Heavy cheating, swearing, skinny dipping, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, fingering, oral sex, nipple play, betrayal, slight swearing, mentions of Jaemin being peeping tom 

A/N: PURE FICTION. Inspired by the fairytale Peter Pan, but not following the main plot. Just the idea of never growing up, fairies and pixie dust. It’s a cute story of saying good bye to your innocence, childhood, and accepting that you’re growing. Nothing heavy don’t worry. 

Neoholiday entry #1 @nct-writers​ | To: @jimjamjaemin​ From: Bear

6 years old

Days have always been laid down for you from the moment you wake up until you close your eyes good night. At a very young age, you’ve grown very tired of this routine and dreamt of being a normal kid like your cousins or the kids that you see at the mall. Given that you’re homeschooled, you don’t know anyone that’s not family or staff in your house.

“Oh, would you look at that,” your nana hold your chin to look at your loose tooth and had a wild guess on when it’s going to come out. “If you keep playing with it with your tongue it will come out faster... and you will meet your tooth fairy soon” she tricks you.

As a very smart kid at a very young age, you know that tooth fairies are just characters from a storybook and probably not real. Maybe the idea of meeting someone new excites you to the core that you don’t care if they’re real or not and all you did is play with your loose tooth while reading a book, while drawing or coloring, while playing the piano, just so you could meet a new friend.

Your tooth came out the next day during breakfast with your parents. Unexpectedly you felt it came out while you were chewing your bread. Without any hesitation, you ran to the kitchen to find your nana and show her your teeth with the biggest smile.

“Where did she learned to be excited like that? Not so proper for a young girl” your mom says to your dad, pouting her lips and looking at him coldly.

While you were looking for your nana, all the staff in your house is busy eating breakfast and greeting you ‘good morning little Ms.’ as you ran past them and give them a sweet smile. “It came out nana, what do I do next?” you tell her the great news and showed her your tooth.

“Tonight, you put it under your pillow and try to catch that fairy! You’re a smart girl, I know you can do it” she smiled proudly at you and told you to go back to your parents.

As you go on with your normal routine, you waited patiently for bedtime and made the preparations for meeting that tooth fairy. Although you’re not sure if someone will really go in your room tonight, you still baked cookies for the fairy and hope to gain a new friend. When bedtime finally came, you secure your tooth under your pillow, fluff your blankets, and checked the baked cookies on your bedside table.

You waited with your eyes closed.

Waited.

Waited.

“Her room is big....” Jaemin murmurs to his friend Renjun. “Oh look, there's cookies” he whispered.

“Yeah yeah. We're here to work, Taeyong will be pissed if we don’t make it back in time- I’ll cover the next kid,”

He leaves his friend with great worries because Jaemin doesn’t know how to follow protocol, and always mess things up. Either way, Jaemin needs to learn how to be a tooth fairy.

Slowly, he opens your window and made his way inside, scanned your room, and looked at a few books. “She must be smart” he murmurs again. He scanned and feed his curiosity until he wants to while eating the baked cookies that you made.

“You’re a boy?”

The fact that fairies are true did not shock you at all but knowing that the tooth fairy is a boy was indeed a shocker to you.

“Well yeah... aren’t you supposed to be sleeping? I can’t give you a coin if you’re awake” Jaemin reasons out with a cute smile. “You baked these?”

he continues to eat the cookie in his hand.

“Yes. Did you like it?”

“Absolutely. Thank you”

You bit your lip out of disappointment as he came closer to you and stopped his curiosity when he sees your pout. Why? His curiosity switched to you and he wanted to know why you look sad, “I mean it. It’s delicious” he sat at the edge of your bed, near you but not close enough.

“I thought you’re a girl, I wanted a friend” you frown.

“Well, I can’t be a girl, but I can still be your friend- if you want” he smiles awkwardly at you.

Without hesitation, you turned your frown upside down and reached for your tooth under your pillow, and hand it to your new friend. “Wow. Did it hurt?” he asked.

“Nope. Didn’t hurt a little, it went off when I was chewing bread this morning. I was so happy” you giggle and smiled at him, you noticed he has a nice smile and his pearly whites.... are perfect. Just like how a tooth fairy is supposed to be. As you two exchange more stories and feed each other’s curiosity, Jaemin forgot that he’s supposed to meet Renjun at the gates of Neverland and go back together.

“Oh my, I need to get going-“

You see his body glow in an instant, as he ready himself to fly. A pixie dust he says, and it can make him fly if he believes in it. “I guess this is goodbye then?” you said as you come near your window and watch him float.

“Oh no no. We’re friends now right? And I’m your tooth fairy so we’ll meet again soon. Just believe in me”

“Where are you from? Can I visit you?”

He shook his head and pointed at a star in the sky. “Neverland. Second star to the right” he explains excitedly. Without any other word or goodbyes, he jumped from your window and flew away. You felt the wind gush on your face as you watch him fly, happy that everything happened according to plan, even happier that it’s never goodbye with Jaemin.

You now have a proper friend.

13 years old

Years have passed now and Jaemin’s job as your assigned tooth fairy is long gone. Although it was a test of patience because he can only visit you whenever you have a loose tooth, he taught you how to trust the next moments that are bound to happen, meaning “there’s always a time for everything. And besides, it’s never goodbye between us it’s always ‘see you later’ right?” he says. After being your tooth fairy, now, he’s just your friend and he can visit you every night after he collects teeth from different children, sacrificing your sleep just so you can meet Jaemin every night.

“How’s school? Are they nice to you?”

You and Jaemin lay on your carpeted floor while looking at the stars through your window. It’s your first day in school today and only Jaemin knew how nervous you were because you’ve been homeschooled all your life.

“They’re nice. But they’re not you” you answered truthfully.

“But you have to try because I’m not always with you. It’s hard to be alone in a place where you’re not used to”

“Look at you, you always take care of me” you turned your head to him and smiled sweetly, “I’ll try” you added.

“Just make sure you’ll never forget about me… or else I’ll fade” there's a slight hint of sadness in his tone when he told you that. Like he’s scared of losing you even though he has many friends already.

He told you a long time ago that he exists because you believe that he does, and if you forget about him he will fade.

As you gave your schoolmates a chance and befriend them, eating out and going out on weekends, you realized that if you have too much fun with them, eventually, whether you like it or not, you will forget about Jaemin. And you never want that to happen. Jaemin has done so much for you, and he doesn’t deserve to be forgotten. With that, you decided to make him your priority without being a loner at school.

“So after we went to the movies, we went to this park and walked hand in hand it was so romantic…” you’re FaceTiming with your friend while you wait for Jaemin, giggling like a little girl from your friend’s stories and secretly wishing to experience a good date someday. Holding hands while walking in the park, going to movies, kissing. Sounds…. normal, and you want every taste of it.

While you were fantasizing about holding someone’s hand, you see Jaemin floating outside your window smiling like he hasn’t seen you for weeks. “Hey-Uhm… I have to go, my mom is calling me and I should go. See you tomorrow-“ you finished the call without letting your friend say her goodbye and went to your window and welcome Jaemin.

“I saw you smiling, what’s that all about?” he says, giving you a small seashell from one of the islands from Neverland. He has a habit of bringing something small for you every time he visits as if he’s sharing a part of his world with you.

“Oh that. I’m just listening to my friend about her first date with her crush- Date, uhm it’s uh… humans do that to know each more, they go out and eat somewhere”

“I’m guessing you want to do it?” he knows you well. You smile shyly as you place the seashell on your shelf. You didn’t answer him yes, because you know he’ll figure it out himself. “Let’s go on a date then” he blurted out. Just like that.

“How are we going to do that when you’re not allowed to visit me when the sun is up?” you crossed your arms and squint at him. Amused with how much he’s willing to risk just so he can give you everything.

“Pixie dust. Neverland. Come on, it will be fun trust me”

His idea of a date was beyond something you could imagine. You never thought of someday going to Neverland but if he told you to trust him, then you will trust him with all your heart. He grabs his pixie dust bag from behind him and sprinkled some of it at the top of your head. Is this really happening? Is he really going to take you on a date to Neverland just so you could know how it feels like going on a date? The wind gushes on your face as you stand near your window, nervous because “Jaem, I don’t know how to do this” you weren’t scared, of course, you trust the pixie dust but you just don’t know how to fly.

“Right… right I’m sorry. Here grab my hand”

His offer made you feel shy for the first time. So it’s really a date then because you’re going to hold hands… Without wasting any more time, you grab his hand and grip it nicely, savoring the feeling of holding his soft hand for the first time. Little did you know that Jaemin is enjoying this. The way you hold his hand gives him a nice nervous feeling, butterflies in his tummy, and blushing like crazy.

Flying is an indescribable feeling, you thought. Walking on air and flying towards a star, it’s like you're having a dream when he told you to close your eyes, and the next thing you know you’re in Neverland.

“Time is different here. In your world it’s night time, here it’s day time- There’s Mark! I want you to meet my friends”

Your date started with Jaemin introducing you to some of the tooth fairies, you know everyone by name because Jaemin tells you stories about them for the past years. It’s like you are friends with them too by this point. From there on, you two enjoyed Neverland for the first time together. The date was nothing like how your friend described it. No holding hands while walking at the park, but he was holding your hand tightly while you fly to Neverland. No movies, but he brought you to a garden full of closed flowers and watch it bloom together. No kissing to end a perfect night, but he gave you a very handsome smile that made your heart race like it was your first time seeing Jaemin smile like that. The night was special, more than special actually.

When he brought you back safely to your room, you feel like something changed between you and Jaemin after having that date. He felt it too, but he’s shy to mention it.

“I’m glad you’re my first date,” you told him.

“I’m glad too” he puts a flower on your hair, something he’s been carrying all this time while you were flying. “See you tomorrow then?”

“Can’t wait, as always” He smiled shyly at you and fly away like he always does.    

That night, you slept with a smile on your face and dreamt about being with Jaemin again in Neverland. On the next day, you kept thinking about him and not just about your date with him. You kept thinking about his smile, his deep voice, and all the sweet things he said to you.

Everything changed after that date but no one is brave enough to admit it. The things you do together for years like laying in your bed and waiting for you to sleep while talking nonstop now make your body warm and it makes you shy. Whenever he tells you you’re pretty, you wanted him to say it over and over again. Until you two had enough of lying and admitted that you’re in love with each other. The problem is… you’re both too young. The way he told you how he feels for you we're sweet and honest, he intertwines his fingers with yours and hugs you tightly in your bed.

“Let’s wait a little longer,” he says. “we're too young and I don’t want to ruin us, I’m scared of losing you always” Again, him and his patience. Nonetheless, you understand what he’s saying and it’s true. There's no need to rush and it’s better to wait than regret bad decisions after.  

Days become months and months became years, you and Jaemin took your time before finally being adults. Soon, forehead kisses turned into soft kisses on the lips, hungry ones, or lustful ones. ’Goodnights’ were added with sweet ‘i love yous’ and ’stay a little longer.’ Dates in Neverland happens once a week, just being together and forgetting everything else. The idea of sex crosses your mind already but never actually doing it. It’s good that you’re growing together and learning different kinds of things. It makes you feel untouchable like it’s almost impossible that you two will someday break up. So impossible.

19 years old

Every day with Jaemin is nothing but adventure and new things, but ever since you two started seeing each other and acknowledging your feelings, days have been always sweeter than yesterday. Holding hands while flying, cuddling in your bed before you go to sleep, a lot of stolen and surprise kisses. These things are all new to you and Jaemin, but just like normal teenagers you just let love do its job and enjoy the wonderful feeling of being in love.

It was hot in Neverland today but Jaemin told you he had found another secret place that can make you stop sweating and he’s so proud of it. He brought you to a cave somewhere deep inside the forest but inside that cave, is an underground lake that has cool and very clear water.

“How did you find this? It’s beautiful” you exclaim as you look around the place. 

“I just did and it’s my way of making you smile“ he never fails to amaze you. “come on, let’s swim” he was quick to remove his clothes like it was a normal thing for him, he completely forgot that your relationship is not yet on the stage where you’re confident with seeing each other’s naked body.

“Uhm-Jaem,” you tried to avoid looking at his nice body and butt, biting your lip as he stretches his muscles confidently while his back faces you. He had grown confidently lately and not to mention so handsome and manly.

“What? Don’t be shy. But if you’re not comfortable, you can swim wearing your underwear. I don’t mind” he says, not facing you yet. It’s not fair you thought, he trusts you to see his whole being and so should you. You gulped and told him not to turn around until you’re fully naked and upon hearing that, Jaemin became suddenly nervous and blushing but you can’t see it.

“Are you naked now?” he asks, scratching the back of his head as he waits for you to give him permission to see you.

“Y-yeah” you answered. You told yourself that whatever happens, you will not look at his cock but as he turns slowly, you don’t know why your eyes can’t stop looking at it. You felt your cheeks warm and suddenly you became shy and you wanted to cover yourself. But he saw right through you, smiled, and hold your hand before jumping into the water together.

The cool water feels great against your skin as you and Jaemin enjoy the hot afternoon and turn it into a nice new experience for the two of you. Swimming deep into the water, racing against each other, picking up shells, the fun made you both forget that you’re naked and helped you with you’re shyness.

“So did you have fun?”  

You were laying on the grass with closed eyes, as you enjoy the warm sunlight peeking from above the cave and at the same time drying your skin before you wear your clothes again. Jaemin is beside you with his shoulder propped and is unbelievably close to you, secretly admiring your naked body and how beautiful you are under the warm sunlight.

“I did. Thank you” you turned your head to face and opened your eyes, “Jaem, what did you feel when you saw me naked for the first time earlier?” you reach for his face and cup it with one hand.

“Shy, at the same time excited because we get to do this but most importantly, I felt lust and my mind was so quick to think about dirty things I want to do- I’m sorry” he was quick to apologize and kissed your hand lovingly.

“No, it’s fine. I felt it too”

Jaemin was taken aback and felt the lust again but this time even stronger that he felt his cock hardens and poke the side of your thigh. “So” he was shy to ask you something but somehow the lust he’s been feeling is giving him the push, “can I try something? If that's okay with you? Baby?”

You only nod, but the way his voice deepens when he asked you made you nervous and excited. Just like Jaemin, you felt the lust he talked about. He came closer, closer, and closer, and until he reaches your exposed shoulder and planted a soft kiss there. But it didn’t end there. He kissed you on the same spot again, but this time he kissed you all the way down until his lips reached your boob and his hot breath is making your nipples sensitive.

His tongue made contact on your nipples first, then you felt his lips, and the next thing you know he’s sucking your right boob. It feels so good that you roll your head back and close your eyes again while letting out soft moans. Soon your hand rests at the back of Jaemin’s head, combing your fingers on his soft locks, and tugging whenever he playfully bites your nipple to make you giggle.

And right then and there your innocence was stained and it was the start of a different exploration and curiosity with Jaemin.

“How?” You were still surprised about what he just did but you love it and at the same time curious.

“Me and the other fairies peek whenever Mark and his girlfriend do it in the woods. Then we’ll tease him after”

“Pervert” you tease him.

“Want to do more?” he offers. You see the lust in his eyes as you look at him. You nod, of course, you want more.

He attacked you with hungry kisses and kneeled in between your legs without hesitation, putting his fingers to work and started touching you on your pussy. Once again you were taken aback by his confident move but instead of getting shy you accepted it and spread your legs wider so he can gain more access to your pussy. Jaemin noticed that his fingers were gliding smoothly on your slit because you were wet and he caused it, he also knew that you’re loving what he’s doing because your moans sound great, you’re rolling your hips, and you’re parting your lips. Which makes him want to dive into lust even more.

“Do you want to do it?” he whispers beside your ear while his fingers still drawing slow circles and gliding up and down your wet slit.

“Sex?” You asked back.

“Yeah” Jaemin started kissing your neck while he waits for your answer.

“If you promise you won’t hurt me”

He’s not stupid. He knew you weren’t talking about the sex. He knew you were talking about what you deserve. Jaemin stopped what he’s doing and kissed your lips sincerely, “I promise. I will never hurt you” he says and kissed you again deeply. It was a sweet promise, you thought and, hearing it made you fall in love with him even more.

Before he proceeds to the sex, he grabs your hand, kissed your knuckles, and made you touch his perfect body slowly, all the way down until you reach his cock. You touched it confidently without leaving his eyes, and you witnessed your boyfriend breathe heavily as you help him pump his cock.

“That’s going inside of you, baby. Ready?”

“Yes”

You feel him line his cock on your very wet entrance, kept his eyes on you as he pushes inside you oh so slowly. You were both virgins and neither of you knew if you’re doing it correctly, but it feels so fucking good that you’re heavily breathing as Jaemin continues to push in. Even tho he wanted to just force his way inside you, he can't because he knew you’re feeling the stretch because you’re so tight. You hiss but you smile, and when he asks you if you’re okay you told him that, “it hurts but I don’t want you to stop”

He chuckled low and said, “okay. But if I do this-“ he rolled his hips without a warning and it made you both moan a little too loud. “You felt that?” he asked, completely mind blown with what a single thrust can do to the both of you.

“Do it again”

And so he did. Again and again and again, until you’re scratching his back and he’s groaning beside your ear deliciously. Telling you how good it feels, praising you with every second that he can, pushing in deeply as he can because you request it.

“I can’t cum that’s dangerous,” he says and he sounded like he’s in pain.

“Shit- right, okay”

Without hesitation and before he loses his mind and makes you pregnant, he pulled out and lay beside you. Stopping himself with all the strength he has left. It was very frustrating for both of you not having the full experience.

“I'm sorry,” he says, heavily breathing beside you still handsome and very inviting.

“You did nothing wrong baby, what are talking about“

“For not making you cum, beautiful. I’ll get your clothes”

You watch him stand up from the warm ground with a hard cock and blushing cheeks. You didn’t cum but still, you felt so weak, and the sting from your pussy is still there. Nonetheless, Jaemin looked so handsome while fucking you, not to mention he sounds sexy. “Here” he helped you get up and handed you your clothes.

Just like that, you made another unforgettable memory with Jaemin that you wouldn’t trade for anything. He sprinkled some pixie dust on your head and flew you back to your room safe and sound.

“I meant what I said earlier. Don’t forget it okay? Just trust me like how you trust my pixie dust to carry you home. I love you” he kissed you on your forehead, smiled so handsomely “see you tomorrow” and left another great promise of seeing each other again.

The next day, while you were eating lunch with your friends they were telling stories about their weekends with their boyfriends. You wanted to tell them so bad that you had a great weekend with Jaemin too, but you’re afraid they will ask you too many questions. Questions that you can’t answer truthfully because you’re afraid they will see you as a crazy person that believes in fairies.

As you listen to them, you can’t help but envy them. You want to share stories with them too, tell all your experiences and such…. like a normal person. “I heard Lee Jeno has a crush on you” your friend whispers beside your ear, completely bringing you back to reality and taking your mind off of Jaemin.

“Lee Jeno who?” you answered and to them, you sound dumb.

“Lee Jeno. The most handsome guy in school? Sharp jawline, small eyes, sexy figure?”

As she describes that Lee Jeno guy you can’t help but to think about Jaemin because for you he’s still the most handsome guy in your eyes. “Well, I’m not interested. Thanks for liking me I guess” they scoffed and teased you further, telling you that they will introduce you to Jeno soon so you will understand how handsome he is.

“Try me. I will still not be interested in him” you cross your arms as you challenge your friends, “in fact, what’s so special about this Lee Jeno guy? Is he nice? Does he know how to treat a girl right? How to touch a girl?” you were describing Jaemin to them, but they were clueless of course. They were quiet and smirking and you wonder why. Little did you know that someone is listening from behind.

He sat on the vacant chair beside you and smiled at you, “Lee Jeno” he offered his hand for you to shake, and of course, being the nice girl that you are, you introduced yourself back.

After that day Lee Jeno kept on talking to you at school, asking you out but you never said yes. But because of his consistency and perseverance, you finally said yes to him just so he could stop bugging you. And right then there, you know that Jaemin will not like this. It’s been weeks since you last saw each other and being a senior tooth fairy gave him a lot of responsibilities that kept you from seeing each other every night just like you used to. But even though he’s busy, sometimes, if he can, he always finds his way to your house before he comes home after working with Renjun.

“Hey” you were in deep concentration with writing your paper when he kissed you on your cheeks. Surprised that he’s finally here, your arms swing around his neck automatically, and kissed him back on the lips, letting how the way you kiss him tell him how much you miss him. “I miss you too-Sorry for not being here always. Taeyong is giving us a hard time, there are a few kids in your neighborhood and the new fairies weren’t ready yet”

“Right… kids” you sounded bothered, you wanted to tell him about your date with Jeno but you just miss him so much that all you did is tell him how much you’re proud of him for being a good tooth fairy.

“I brought you these” he hands you a few flowers from Neverland so you could put them in between your books, “so you could think of me while you study too,” he was just about to kiss you again when Rejun appeared on your window with Mark to get him and keep them on schedule.

“Sorry” he says before kissing you one too many times on the lips, your face, and your hands. “I love you. I have to go, see you soon okay?”

“I understand, go. Fly safe.” And that’s all you needed from him. You’re so in love with Jaemin that you understand everything he does in his life and never get mad at him even though sometimes he never gets to see you. “patience” you murmur to yourself and went back to writing your paper.

Today is your date with Jeno and you wanted to ditch him so bad that you arrived late and let him freeze outside the cinemas. But even though you missed almost half of the movie, he still smiled so sweetly at you that his eyes almost disappear. “I’m happy you still came. It’s so wrong of me to think that you’re going to ditch me last minute. I’m sorry”

“I’m sorry that I’m late” you’re not, but you tell him anyway.

“It’s normal. People can arrive late during dates, I’m just glad you came”

The word ‘normal’ lingers in your mind as you two entered the cinemas. The movie is nice, it made you cry and Jeno dried your tears while patting your head and providing comfort. He brought you to a place where you two can eat something good and heavy after eating popcorn. On top of that, he seems sweet and careful, he listens to you and he cares about what you think all the time. After the date, he brought you home safely and asked if he could kiss you.

“N-no…” you stepped away from him.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry. I can wait” he smiles awkwardly, hands inside the pocket of his jacket, “Did you had a great time?”

“Yes I did” and that’s the truth, you told him with a smile.

The night ended with you waiting for Jaemin in your room, but your mind kept playing every moment you had with Jeno. He’s more than just sharp jawlines and sexy figure, he’s a gentleman. Like Jaemin. And this is bad because it’s not hard to have a crush on him.

“you didn’t see me came in-“

“Shit!” Jaemin completely startled you when you saw him lying comfortably in your bed. He doesn’t look like he’s in a hurry, and that makes you happy.

“You were out late, you’re not yet in your sleepwear” he kisses your forehead as you cuddle close, oh you miss him.

“I did something normal today” and that’s all you could share about what happened today. He didn’t need to know what happened between you and Jeno.

“That’s great- listen, I will be away for a few weeks training the new fairies-“

“What- Away again?” you whine and pout at him, “But I miss you already. I never get to see you or spend time with you”

“I know. I’m sorry, but after this, I promise I will stick to like a shadow. I missed you too, I’ll try my best to speed things up. In the meantime, do more normal things like what you did today and leave the extraordinary things to me. Come on, smile for me”

Little did he know you cheated on him today. You forced a smile and kissed him hungrily until you ended on top of him. You removed your shirt and from there everything happened so fast. The next thing you know his lips are on your nipples with your bra cups pulled down and you’re moaning quietly. “I have condoms here” you whispered to Jaemin with a very sexy voice. Or at least you tried.

“Inviting. But I can’t stay for long. I’m sorry I kept disappointing you” And just like that your mood died and you grabbed your blanket to cover yourself. “Mark is outside. I’m sorry” he kissed you one last time before he tucks you to bed and you watch him fly away.

"Do tell!!!"

Because your friends don’t know the meaning of privacy, they kept asking you about your date with Jeno. ‘Did you guys have sex?’ ‘Did he used his tongue?’ ‘Second date?’ all these questions were hilarious because none of it happened, but to make them shut up you told them everything. It’s your first time sharing something that happened during the weekend it makes you feel… normal. Jeno made you feel normal.

You then realized that being with Jaemin isn’t normal, because he’s a fairy.

Days without Jaemin made you became friendly with Jeno. Eating together at lunch, reading at the library and doing study dates, soon the most awaited second date happened and this time it’s sweeter than the first, he brought you to your first college party where you really enjoyed yourself dancing and drinking with him. It’s not that you forgot about Jaemin already, you think of him every day and every night but when Jeno is around everything changes. It’s like your mind forgets about the pixie dust, the shells on your shelf from Neverland, how beautiful and magical Neverland is, but when you’re back home and alone in your room, all you think about is Jaemin. And you hate that you miss him, you hate that you can’t see or feel him.

Jeno never made you feel alone.

You are at a party right now, finishing something in your cup when you feel someone hug you from behind and bringing you back to reality. At some point, you thought it was Jaemin because he’s the only guy ever to startle you like that. But it’s Jeno’s arms that caged you this time, “You okay? If you want to go home I can drive you home”

“Yes. Let’s go home” you feel his hot breath brush on your nape and you’re not gonna lie. It made you want him.

“And?” he asks with a very sexy tone like he's trying to tell you something but shy to say it.

“And my parents are not home” you turned around to kiss him.

“That’s my girl” he said excitedly and walk you towards his car.

While you were kissing Jeno inside your room, and removing each other’s clothes until you hit your bed, you were thinking about Jaemin but Jeno is another level of hotness that he can make you forget something. Or maybe that’s because you’ve completely fallen in love with him. It was dark, and all you can see is the silhouette of your body grinding together. You were both in the mood to really get on with it and did not even bother turning your lampshade which made you both giggle, “bummer, I wanted to see you” he whispers and bit the shell of your ear.

Your hands roam around Jeno’s body and even without a light you can see, or feel how hot he is. His hard rock abs were brushing on your tummy while he grinds his body, he reaches both of your hands and put it on top of your head. Experienced, he is very much experienced than you are.

It was an eventful night indeed, and you had a lot of first time with Jeno in just one night. First time fucking from behind, first time giving a blow job, but most importantly, it was your first time having an orgasm using his cock. It took some time, yes, but he was incredibly good in bed.

You stayed under the covers and dozed off together, hands intertwined and bodies together.

Unfortunately, Jaemin heard everything. Because he was hiding inside your closet, with a flower in his hand, ready to surprise you after a very long time of not seeing each other. Normally when he peeks at Mark and his girlfriend having sex he usually gets hard, but now… he felt really heartbroken. Hearing the love of his life moaning because of another man, made him regret that he took being a tooth fairy very seriously. As he sneaks out quietly and effortlessly, he came close to you, kissed you on your forehead, and covered your exposed skin so you won't get cold.

“I’m sorry” he whispers and left with the flower.

Jaemin hid the truth and pretend that he knew nothing about Jeno because he loves you so much that he can’t let you go and face his reality. Meaning, you finally found a human that will love you and will make you feel like a normal person. It’s the ugly truth that he’s not yet ready to admit.

Over the days that he’s been present, he tried so hard on winning you back and making you fall in love with him over again. Even though he’s trying, he can’t help but feel so hopeless whenever he leaves you after a sweet visit so he decided to finally count his days with you, and finally, let you go when he’s ready.

Five months later

“You’ve been really sweet lately. Why?”

It’s a weekend in your world and Jaemin ditched his tooth fairy duties just so he can bring you to a quiet island and watch the stars with you. He hugged you tightly before he tells you half of the truth, “I just want to make you fall in love with me. Again”

“What are you talking about, as far as I know, I’m very much in love with you” truth, but you’re in love with Jeno too, just not that deep like how you love Jaemin.

“You and your sweetness, I love you” he sounds sincere. Very sincere actually, that it bothers you.

“I-I love you too. You’re not telling me something aren’t you?” you were slightly nervous as you sat up from between his legs and face him.

“Mhhm. Caught me red-handed. I have a surprise, turn around” you returned to your previous position and waited for him. After a few seconds, he puts a necklace around your neck and you felt something cold on your skin. A pendant that looks like a tooth, but it’s a pearl, “it looked like a tooth, don’t you think it’s amazing?” it was a parting gift because he was planning to finally give you up and let you be with Jeno.

You were speechless once again, “you’re amazing”

Sometimes listening to your sweet words hurt him. Because he knew you tell it to Jeno too. And he’s not the only man you love, at least not anymore. “Let’s get you home now” to be honest you wanted to stay for a while but he was so eager to bring you home already so you let him.

The fly back home was cold and quiet, something you have never experienced before. There’s something wrong and he’s not telling you. You waited for him to enter your room but he didn’t, and it was the first time he’s not tucking you in bed after a date, he just floats outside your window.

“Goodbye. Sleep well okay”

“Goodbye?” you scoffed, “Jaemin you never said goodbye, it’s always 'see you tomorrow'” by this time you’re mad at him because he’s not telling the truth. And to be honest he didn’t think you were going to notice that which breaks his heart even more because that means you still care about him.

“No- no, don’t be angry-“ he tried to hug you but you pushed him away and you’re not stupid to not realize that he’s breaking up with you tonight. “I-I know about Jeno. But I’m not mad, don’t get me wrong. He’s a great man, I’m happy you found someone, normal” he finally said the truth without breaking into tears and faced it like a man. “We can't be like this forever, someday you will get a job, marry someone, be a mom, grow old. So come on, let’s not part like this”

He was asking for a hug. One last hug, but you asked him to stay. You didn’t feel tears but somehow you’re crying nonstop and sobbing in front of him already, “I will break up with Jeno. Please- Jaemin I’m sorry for hurting you”

“Ssshh. You didn’t do anything wrong. I made up my mind, please don’t make this harder than it is already. Tonight is finally goodbye. Let’s part without regrets, we tried”

You still think that Jaemin is a different kind of special that’s why you can’t let go, and by this time you’re both crying and you were holding him so close that he had to make you let go of him so he could fly away from your window, one last time. Letting Jaemin go is like letting go of something you kept since you’re a little girl, something you’ve own then you lost it unexpectedly.

You didn’t want to say goodbye, but it happened anyway. You weren’t prepared. You never saw this coming.  

27 years old

“Mommy look! My tooth is out!” she showed you a big smile and you kissed your daughter on the forehead.

“Okay- okay, calm down. Daddy will get you ice cream after dinner, keep your tooth safe, please. So you won't disappoint the tooth fairy” she’s excited about the tooth fairy thing too, just like you when you were her age.

Happily married to Jeno and mother of a very curious 6 year old, you managed to move on and live your life without Jaemin and keeping him a secret forever. The heartbreak was an experience that you will never forget but thankfully, Jeno never gave up on you. Jaemin was right, he’s a great man.

When it’s finally bedtime for your daughter, you and Jeno tucked her to bed and made sure that her tooth is under her pillow before she sleeps. “tooth fairies aren’t real right?” he whispered to you after closing the door.

“For me they’re true. Come on, don’t ruin this for her” you playfully smacked your husband and went to your shared bedroom together.

It was really late when you heard something from your daughter’s room and you decided to look into it. Slowly you opened her door, but you see nothing and her window is closed. You checked the guest room quietly and groggily but you woke up when you see someone familiar standing near the window. “Jaemin?” you closed your eyes and opened them again until he turns around and flashes you that beautiful smile.

“Well you look old” is his first few words again to you after not seeing each other for many years.

“And you never aged” it’s like it was only yesterday when he broke up with you, he didn’t change. He’s still young and handsome.

“Fairy. I age but you know, -how are you?” he quickly changed the subject and walked towards you.

“Are you my daughter’s tooth fairy?” he let out a small laugh and held you close, trying so hard to stop himself from telling you how much he missed you and it was hard for him during the years without you.

“Sungchan” he whispered.

“That small fairy?”

“Mhhm. He’s big and tall now, so I’m doing his work for now because he made a sound earlier” that explains the thud you thought.

“I have to go now. You’re happy right?” you nod at him and tears started flowing from your eyes. You felt him let go for the second time but this time your heart is not breaking, or maybe it never actually healed that’s why you can’t feel anything now.

“Can I kiss you” you caught his hand before he flies away and hopes he gives you this one last request.

“No” he rejects you in the nicest way he can and fly away without saying another word. Jaemin respects Jeno and your daughter, even though he wanted to kiss you too he can’t. He can’t be selfish but he’s happy that you still believe in him, and passed the magic to your daughter.

That night, you felt that it is indeed goodbye from now and that is the last time that you will see Jaemin ever again.

The End.  

For Mona,

My first moot before I became close to everyone else. Thank you for accepting me as your partner. I remember we were so happy after we gave Kei our Neoholiday event and then followed by neo’clock which is very successful and we were so happy.

I don’t know but after we finished planning neoclock, I felt like I gained a new friend. And that’s my inspiration when the reader/ you met Jaemin for the first time. The first part was inspired by our first conversation actually, not really based on the messages that we exchanged but if you noticed I didn’t put anything romance related in the 6 years old part. I remember we were exchanging pieces of information about a few movies, princess Mia and I asked where you from.

So that is that WAHAHAHA sorry for ruining the surprise, but I lessen the smut I was overthinking you might get uncomfortable huhuhuhu…. Happy Neoholiday!  

#nct smut #nct-writers #neowritingsnet #cznnet #kpopscape #neosmutcollective #jaemin smut #nct jaemin smut #jaemin x reader #nct jaemin x reader #nct imagines #nct aus #nct au #nct fairy au #peter pan au #jaemin angst #nct jaemin angst #nct fluff #nct jaemin fluff

[howdoesagrapewrites]

All yours, Babooshka.

Tags: Yelena x fem!reader, soulmate!au, fluff with a bit of angts, historically completely incorrect, happy ending.

TW: depiction of war, brief mention of sex, homophobic slur a few times, suicide.

Synopsis: War is no place for loving, it never was, but maybe you could love her again in the 21 Century, i mean, only if you could stop feeling so overwhelmed by her only existence, but no matter what, you can't stop something that's meant to be.

Notes: one, i don't like the part 4, it just feels lazy to me, and two, i'm not a native, so please tell me if i made a mistake <3

Part one: When she was beautiful.

Yelena Armanovna, as strong as ten soldiers, the jewel of the battlefield, once was just a kid, her land was destroyed by the war, and as the only child of the house, she was forced to join the army, or else die there, she became a soldier, and she desired that the war wasn't real, that she hadn't being born into this world, that no one had. 

Everyone knew that she didn't talk a lot, most of their fellow soldiers didn't even knew where she came from, or if she was even from Russia, the only one she talked to was a nurse, her name was y/n y/ln, and like Yelena, no one knew about her origin, the nurse was way more talkative than Yelena, but she was assigned to other areas, staying with older soldiers, child soldiers, or severely injured soldiers, she was called by the child soldiers "angel", because of her comforting aura in hard times like those. 

These women wouldn't be able to meet eachother if it wasn't for the near-death experience Yelena faced one time. She got shot by a hidden enemy, fainted from the blood loss and was taken to the nursery right away, they couldn't afford to lose her. That's when you saw the look in her eyes, that look, and you knew that death was upon the jewel of the battlefield, and you knew that if she died, everyone else will die, you tried as hard as you could to stay cool during the surgery, but you were breaking, because of all the hope that was layed on her shoulders, she was the hope of everyone else in that place to return home someday, even if Russia didn't won the war, her strenght will keep a few alive. So there you were, assisting the surgery of the one that could do something to keep everybody safe and triying to act like it didn't meant a thing. At the end, she survived, and with her, the dreams of returning to your home, you were the one assigned to take care of her, and you were  going to make sure Yelena survived.

Part two: Uncanny how she remind her of her little lady. 

—"¿Yelena Armanovna?" You asked to the blonde girl laying on the bed. 

"Yes" she answered without taking her deep eyes out of the book. 

You told her that it was your bed she was in, pointing at your last name on the post-it next to the bed, then showing her the same mark on the bed across the room where it said: "J. Armanovna". 

"Ah, i hate when they misspeal it, it's Yelena with a "Y". Well, sorry, but this is the only bed i can sleep in, i'm kinda tall, you can use mine, i will give you a cookie for your kindness." She concluded with a little smile, you notices how her voice was way sweeter than you could think considering how menacing her looks were. 

At the end you decided to let her keep the bed, thinking it wouldn't mean anything, how wrong you were, now you could look at her sleeping without moving from the bed, and you did it, you thought it was so creepy and you wanted to stop, but you couldn't, why? Why were you obsessed with the sight of her closed eyes and dry lips at night? Why did she gave you this insane feeling of comfort and loss at the same time? It was so uncanny. 

No matter how weird It felt, you couldn't escape from Yelena, she was your roommate, and your classmate in some of your classes, on top of that, she was quite nice, a very smart lady with a pleasent personality, so you had no excuse to be mean or distant whenever she asked about your day, or started a small talk when the professor was late. Along with that sort-of friendship, you also knew Yelena's group; a beautiful girl with raven hair named Pieck, a blonde sarcastic man named Zeke, sometimes his brother Eren, and Hanji, a very excentric and funny person. These people were good friends to you, more than you expected, and that confirmed you: there was nothing wrong about Yelena, and you had no reason to be disturbed by her… Well, to be honest, there it was a little thing that made you upset, Pieck said that Yelena liked Zeke, again, you had no reason to be mad, but you were anyway. Why did you felt so attached to this lady? Why did you did what you did? 

It was 2:00 am, you couldn't sleep and you were so ashamed of being doing what that thing, what thing? Writing a love letter, a love letter to Yelena, with a pseudonym, with the first word that popped into your head: "Babooshka". You put perfume on the paper, and you signed it under that name, a scented letter, when you were finished, you let the envelope under your bed, and let it on Yelena's locker. 

Part three: How she was before the tears.

She woke up, feeling dazed and almost disappointed for being alive, when Yelena saw you, she recognized you for the stories of her colleagues, "Angel?" She guessed. 

"Hello", you smiled and giggle a bit for that nickname, "My name is y/n y/ln, and i will take care of you until you are better"

"If i'm with you means i'm already dead, you only take care of the ones that are almost there." Yelena asserted with a careless attitude. 

You wanted to protest, but it was meaningless, you wouldn't make her upset in her state, "May i ask how is your wound feeling? Are you in pain?" You kept that polite and sweet smile on your face. 

You kept taking care of Yelena, she healed way too soon, her body wanted to stay alive, but you couldn't say the same thing about her. You got to meet the real jewel of the battlefield, she told you her story, and you told her yours, you two knew everything about eachother, likes, dislikes, and sad pasts. You noticed how Yelena cried softly whenever she thought about her life before, her life before the tears, before the war, when she felt happy. And you also noticed that you could erase that tears, the touch between your soft hands and her ser face, was something magical, something that nobody could understand in that moment, but you two? You knew everything about it, about that love touch, those secret beautiful instants you shared. 

You were the one crying when Yelena got better, you were joyful for her recovery, but you knew that she had to go, and after that, you were going to lose her forever, or so you thought. "We can send eachother letters, and we can meet at night." She reassured you while you were laying on her chest, skin to skin, she kissed your forehead and caressed your cheeks with her strong and graceful hands, you purred at her cuddled your body in hers, you liked to kiss her scars, she had so many, it showed how determined she was on the battle and you liked that, the eyes and body of a soldier, and the heart of a suave lover, Yelena was always elegant, her movements could been rough and beastily, but she was soft and neat, whether i'll be fighting, talking, or embracing you. You could say with pride that only you knew this side of Yelena Armanovna, the subtle dominance she always established on her manner mixed with the chivalry and dulcet, that made the blonde woman truly enticing and amusing to anyone with enough luck to discover it.  

You knew that your letters to Yelena couldn't be too suspicious, so you took advantage of the fact that no one knew a thing about her, "Babooshka", was the pseudonym you choose, because everyone was going to think that it was from Yelena's grandmother. 

Your first letter to her, was this one: 

"My dearest Yelena, even though i promised that i wouldn't miss you too much, you have been away for three days and i'm already feeling the lack of your touch, and missing your dark eyes that make me shiver every time. I always thought that i would die without having loved, but you prove me wrong, i love you, i love every part of you, if i could picture perfection, it would be you, your laugh, your hair, the way you talk about home, everything about you would fit the word "perfect".

I swear to God and every star on the sky, that someday i will marry you, someday i will call you my wife, and you will be fully mine, and i will be fully yours. I know that you may think i'm silly because of this wish, but i know in my guts that i will become your wife, no matter how many years or Centuries i have to wait to do it.

All yours, Babooshka." 

When Yelena read the letter, she felt nothing but joy, she couldn't use words to describe how in love she was with everyone of your words, and giggled at the idea of marriage, of course she would marry you, she would marry you all the times that she could, she will make you hers every time, and she would submit herself to you every time. 

The two lovers kept sending and receiving love letters, and meeting at the comfort and hacen of the night, with only starts and the moon herself as a witness, sharing the intimacy of loving, not always touching two bodies, but the touch of two souls, two tormented souls who found love in a hopeless place.

It has been almost a year since the letters and secret meetings started to happen, Yelena and y/n couldn't be more in love, but tragedy was upon them. A soldier named Floch, started to notice the letters, and one day, he intercepted one, the love words were obviously not from Yelena's grandmother, and with fear of the jewel of the battlefield getting courted by a man who could get her pregnant and useless, this soldier tried to trace the letters, he spend days getting up triying to catch the mailman, and when he did it, he noticed that there wasn't an adress, so it must have been another soldier. After waiting for the guilty one to put the letter on the mail box, he saw y/n y/ln, the nurse, the angel, being a witness of how Satán corrupted the two women into a sapphic relationship, he ran into his superior's arms, showing him the evidence and warning him that given the nature of the letters, he may be grossed out by the devil's pervertion in the two women. 

The superior gave orders of keeping Armanovna here, and taking the nurse away, into a convertion field. 

Yelena was lucky to hear it, and she ran the fastest that she could into the critical patients nursery, where Y/N was. "Babooshka", she whispered at your ear while grabbing your arm yo take you away, you followed her into the woods. "What happened?" You asked with confution, you saw the look of pure fear un Yelena's eyes.

"They are going to tear us apart, they are are going to take you away, they will torture you there", she was ay the edge of crying, and so did you. 

"What can we do?" You couldn't think anything, you were all feelings

"Die, that's our only option, if we run away they will find anyway." The tall one tried to stay calm, failing

"You can't die, you mean hope for everyone!" Your conscience was heavy, you couldn't let Yelena die for you

"Y/n… You are the love of my life, if they take you away, i will kill myself anyway, i can't live without you, i can't just survive anymore, i need to live, when i'm with you i'm alive." Yelena wrapped you in a hug and you felt the tears falling on her face.

At the end, you agreed, Yelena already had a little bottle hidden in her uniform, you both took  sips until the bottle was empty, and you kissed and felt eachother like never before, because it was the last time, those were your last hours of life. You passed away after two hours, you were sleeping in Yelena's arms, while she was singing a lullaby from her hometown. 

She started with a cracked voice; "I know i do not have silver or gold like many others,

but i promise that i will wrap my bride in silk"  she stopped to cry a little.

"and i will love her with such depht,

that all my lacks she will forget, 

and she will love until the end… "

Yelena cried louder, and before falling asleep, and looked at your corpse with adoration.

I'm all yours, Babooshka. 

Part four: Babooshka

She woke up, ready for the exams, dressed with her usual suit, and put a lucky charm on her pocket. 

She was getting to class when she remembered, "my lucky pen is in my locker", so she went to get it, and saw a letter that fell sloppylly on her perfectly organized locker. She looked at the envelope and read "Babooshka", It clearly wasn't from her grandmother, one, because she would have written in "the tongue of mother Russia", two, because she was a bitter old woman that didn't write her, never, not even on her birthday, and three, because it was on her locker, not the mailbox. She opened it go find a love letter that has essence of a known perfume, she received the letter with a strange delight, smelling it and making a place on her locker for the piece of paper. 

These letters came one by one every week, and she knew they were from y/n, but Yelena couldn't help to love the letters, and she wanted to keep collecting more and more. 

She decided to shoot her shot after two months, when you two were studying together, she kissed your lips out of nowhere, leaving you completely confused and flustered.

"I- i thought you liked Zeke…" 

"Oh, i did" Yelena acted so shamelessly "But then you came."

"Do you say that a lot?" You asked annoying trying to shield from your notorious blush

"No, just you, Babooshka. I don't know why, but you make me fee… alive? I feel so close to you since i saw you." 

You didn't know what to do, you felt the same way, and you were way too nervous to think a witty reprise. 

"Why did you choose the pseudonym Babooshka?" Yelena have been wanting to ask you for a long time. 

"For real? I don't know, it just, familiar? I guess" 

"Ok, then" she smiled and pulled you closer

"I'm all yours, Babooshka."

#yelena headcanons #yelena #yelena aot #yelena x reader #yelena snk #yelena supremacy #yelena fanfic #aot fanfiction #babooshka #Babooshka songfic

[cursedquantumenergy]

Nanami Kento Alphabet

Note: Is is my first ever piece so please be gentle ;__;!! I wanted to start off with a template before I jump into writing fanfics. I hope you like it and I hope it’s not too boring!  

Pairing: Nanami Kento x f!Reader

Warning: NSFW after the cut

________________________________________________________________

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

- He would try to stay inside of you for as long as possible.

- If in missionary, he would lean in and place his forehead on yours.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

- Nanami absolutely loves your waist. It's where he places his hands to pull you in for a hug.

- it's also where he grips when you're on your knees and he wants to go in deeper (usually when he's close to the end). If you're on top, he tends to rest his hands their and enjoy the ride.

- Nanami's also an ass man so reverse cowgirl is a must. This man loooooves to see you in a pencil skirt.

Cum (anything that has to do with it)

- Absolutely has an edging/cum denial (both ways) and breeding kink.

- If he had a long day at work, he'll ask you to dom and edge him. He loves how intense the orgasm is afterwards.

- Will usually only edge you as punishment if you won't stop teasing him during work (if you end up working together that day). He loves to see you cum so edging you is also teasing him in a way.

- Nanami produces a good amount of cum. A little more than average.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

- Really wants to make a homemade porno one day but doesn't know how to ask. You both usually handle missions on your own. Sometimes you're separated for a few days and the nights feel lonely. During times like those, Nanami would rather watch you enjoying yourself then looking at random women on the internet (makes him feel guilty). He’s currently unsure what he would love more, seeing you pleasure yourself while calling out to him, or seeing himself satisfy you. It embarrasses him quite a bit.

- He also would not be opposed to a threesome with you and Gojo but will NEVER admit it.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

- Nanami has had only 1 serious partner in the past but has slept with 2 others since then. Everything has been pretty vanilla prior to you. You're his 2nd serious partner.

- With you though, he loves to try different things in the bedroom, whether watching porn together, using a new toy, or trying out a new kink. He's never done stuff like that before with his previous partners. Nanami trusts you and feels very comfortable going into different territories with you.

F= Favorite position

- Nanami has two! Remember how he's an ass man? He loves it when you're face down flat on your stomach with your ass slightly in the air. He loves the way your ass bounces when he drives into you. Because of his size, you always have a pleasurable tightness for him but the way this position makes you feel even tighter (and makes him feel even bigger for you!) drives him crazy. It's one of the few positions that makes him lose his rhythm quickly.

- Being the hopeless romantic he is, Nanami loves missionary. Being able to see how you react with every trust? Drives him crazy. He's a big fan of kissing as well and you'll usually end up making out during this position. He loves the way your kisses change as he shifts speeds and roughness during missionary and he usually uses your kisses as a guide for what to do next. Your kisses are getting sloppy? He slows down his pace. Are you nipping at his lips impatiently? He roughens up a bit.  

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

- During sex Nanami is very attentive to your wants and needs. He takes your pleasure very seriously. That being said, he is much more relaxed around you than he usually is around others. He’s playful and loves to grab and tease you whenever he has the chance to. He will hug you from behind and whisper sinful things in your ear.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

- Have you seen his hair? This man loves to keep himself well kept. Nanami doesn’t like going hairless down there but he does like it to be clean and short. He doesn’t want hair getting in your way if you go down on him.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

- LOVES KISSING. Absolutely loves kissing during sex. Will try to kiss you in any position possible. When he can’t kiss you, he praises instead. “You feel so good Y/N,” or “you’re doing so well taking me all in like that” are common phrases for him.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

- Before meeting you, he would masturbate about once a day after work.

- After meeting you though? He would masturbate about 2, maybe 3 times a day. Nanami was so smitten with you since the beginning that you can’t help but tease him for it. He would always think about seeing you strip for him and the different positions that he could try.

- Since getting together with him, masturbating now only happens if he or you go off on a mission and your hours do not coincide.

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

- Edging (both ways), breeding kink, dom (both ways, he is a switch). Goes crazy when you call him Sir.

- Honestly you brought out the breeding kink from deep inside him. Nanami would subconsciously push himself deeper and linger within you after cumming inside you. You noticed this after a few times and decided, during a particularly steamy session, to ask him to “Fill me up” and that drove him crazy.  You brought it up afterward if he had the kink. Now after he researched what it was, he absolutely loves to put you in a mating press during his needier days. What drives him crazy is seeing his cum leak out of you and then pushing it back inside with his fingers. “Don’t want to waste any” he will usually say.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

- Absolutely anywhere inside your shared apartment. Nanami is not a fan of getting it on in public spaces and loves the comfort of home.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

- Seeing you in tight fitting jeans or skirts really turns him on. The way it hugs your curves. 10/10 for him.

- Instant hard on when you’re needy and you initiate. Loves to verbally tease you if you are particularly horny and don’t want to be teased. If you start to command him to do things in this state, he will always call you princess. “My, aren’t you needy today princess. You’re wish is my command.” 

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

- Not into heavy bondage, absolutely no knife play or anything that he would consider dangerous. You both face death every day, why bring it into the bedroom?

- Also, not into strong verbal humiliation. He loves you too much that it leaves him feeling awful afterwards. 

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

- After practicing with you, he’s a 15/10. It took him a few sessions to get it right but with your guidance, Nanami’s able to have you screaming within minutes now.

- Nanami loves when you go down on him. The sight of you taking him in as far as you can go, seeing you slightly struggle for the remaining length, ugh, he has to stop himself from forcing your head down on him repeatedly.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

- With foreplay and everything, usually takes around 40-60mins. Nanami loves to take his time with you. He makes sure you cum twice during foreplay to prepare you for his length.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

- For sex, there are no quickies. Like stated above, he wants to take his time with you.

- But if he is really in need and there is a time constraint, oral is the best way to go with him. You can have him undone in a few minutes.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

- Absolutely will try new things with you if it’s not one of his turn offs. He will try things at least once. If it’s something you both like, usually it becomes the obsession for the whole week before you both move on to another thing to try.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

- Nanami naturally has a lot of stamina. Just comes with being a grade 1 sorcerer. Before you, he would normally go one round and be satisfied.

- However, you brought out a mega breeding kink within him.

- He can absolutely go for 2, maybe 3 rounds if you’re both horny enough. He’s considerate so he won’t go a second time unless you’re ok with it (but come on, you are always ok with it). Each round becomes rougher than the last. With the amount of cum he produces, you thank the stars that you’re on birth control. This man can populate a whole village.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

- When he is the dom, Nanami’s go to strategy is to tie you to a chair, gag and blindfold you. He will tape vibrators on your clit and leave a dildo vibrating inside you and just go for a walk for an hour or two before he comes back to see what a sopping mess you are, trying to repeat his name over and over from under your gag, drooling all over yourself.

- If you are the dom, he loves when you put a cockring on him. It frustrates him during the session, but the orgasm is amazing for him after he removes it.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

- Loves teasing both ways. Obviously if either one of you doms it will be more intense (see above).

- During regular sessions his favorite thing to tease both of you with is by having you sit on his length, your back to his chest, and him holding a vibrator to your clit. You both don’t move the entire time and the only feeling is of your walls squeezing his cock. This teases you both, however you tend to break first by grinding against him after your second orgasm.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

- He praises you all day every day. He loves to whisper in your ear during foreplay and will absolutely try to coax orgasms out of you this way.

- He does moan but isn’t very loud. His moans are usually small groans and exhales.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

- Nanami is the type of person to buy you random lingerie and toys when he is out on longer missions. You need a whole separate trunk for all the stuff he has bought for you over the years. 

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

- Nanami is pretty girthy. It takes you a few seconds to adjust to him every time you have sex. He always makes sure you are well prepared to take him. Foreplay is a must with him!

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

- Surprisingly high. Nanami is very well disciplined and doesn't tend to let his thoughts wander during work. That usually translates into him being extra grabby with you afterwork. With an evenly matched sexual partner, sex will be plenty. With a partner of lower drive, he will be considerate and not ask for anything. But you’re so attentive that even if you’re not up for pure sex, you will totally get him off orally. Get ready for some nightly escapades!

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

- Because sex with you normally only happens at night (very rarely during the day, unless you are both off from work), both of you formed a habit of showering together after sex, then cuddling in bed together. During weekdays, you both fall asleep within 10mins of jumping into bed because work starts early for the both of you. During weekends, you and Nanami tend to stay up talking about little things. About a show you want to watch, or a new dish he wants to try making.

#nanami kento #kento nanami #jjk #nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #jjk x reader #jjk headcanons #reader insert #nanami kento headcanons

[poptod]

The Old Gods

Description: Jack has to get close to a powerful suspect. Jack also ponders upon his humanity.

Notes: genuinely didnt meant for this to get so long, my apologies, i just like writing conversations bc i never get to have them.  also! I hate myself so much for writing supernatural fanfiction in the good year of our lord 2021. its not my fault, it was the only show i could watch with my cousin that we both liked. anyway! lmk if you like it i could do a part two WC: 11k

+

The nearest library could hardly be called a library. A more accurate description would be a collection of books––a small collection––that could be read freely but never taken from the library itself. There was little need within the Winchesters to visit the library, considering they had one in their home filled with mythical lore, but the records of Kansas and neighboring cities and states were detailed thoroughly in the nearest library.

Jack knew a great many things; inherent natures and laws of the universe, the experience of power and of fear, both before him and within him. Many things he'd seen deserved to be feared, exposing him to dangers often unheard of amongst regular children.

Three months into existence, however, Jack liked to think he knew more than he did when he was born. This was because he'd spoken to more people, experienced more things, and learned select things about his mother, his father, his family, and strangers. Still, there were things that puzzled him––the age of the world was clear in his mind (4.543 billion years, four months, 22 days, 6 hours, and 52 seconds) but how humanity progressed into what they now were astounded him.

"Humans started as... these creatures with unending curiosity," Castiel explained to him, his hands folded neat in his lap but hidden by his too-long trenchcoat sleeves. "Ceaseless innovation. They started without language but they always had kindness. I think.. that's why God favored them, at least at first."

"So... kindness is a form of.. intelligence?" Jack asked slowly, his brow furrowed tight as he stared past his father.

"I believe so," he said, shifting in his seat. "Kindness drove these animals to building homes, to conversing with one another, to creating a better world for descendants they would never know. It's quite beautiful, actually."

"Am I a part of that story?"

Only half-human, only half-alive, only half the story, belonging to nothing concrete. Jack wasn't really human, leaving him alone in his species.

"Yes," Castiel said without hesitation.

Civilization first started off in a number of areas. The first book Jack found dealt with the fertile crescent northeast of Africa, where Mesopotamia brought forth a number of societies, of cultures, meshed together over the course of thousands of years. Sumerians were one of the first to build their cities, creating writing, the wheel, and the plow in their haven apart from the unpredictable and often violent wild.

But no––the next book Jack found stated that Jericho was the oldest city, west to the fertile crescent near the shore of the Mediterranean and the Dead Sea. The citystate was independent from any other power, often becoming abandoned from raids only to return to high populations, as humans flocked back to the spring water that still poured from inside the earth to this day.

Over the rest of the day spent in the nearest library, Jack learned there was no single spot in which civilization was created and then spread from. The Nile in Africa brought forth Egypt, the Indus river in Pakistan birthed the Harappan civilization, and the two rivers Yellow and Yangtze in China created the first asian cities. From there villages, towns, and cities spread like mold across the earth's surface, eventually bringing humans to inhabit every continent and nearly every environment known on earth.

There were far too many things to know, and the strain of reading on his eyes eventually forced him to retire for the day. He hardly understood anything yet, but the librarian was understanding as to his prolonged stay, and wished him a good evening when he left. He beamed a bright smile despite the strange pain growing behind his eyes, and waved good-bye.

Dean gave him painkillers when he got back to the bunker after Jack thoroughly (and unnecessarily) described his headache.

"Humans are... strange," Jack said, his brow furrowed in deep thought. He rested his elbows on the table, leaning over an empty bowl of cereal.

"Not wrong, but, care to elaborate?" asked Sam, who was sitting across from him at the kitchen table, a newspaper and pen in his hand.

"Castiel said you created the first cities out of a desire to.. to protect each other, and to keep yourselves safe. And then the first thing you do when you meet other cities is to go to war with them."

Sam sucked in a sharp breath, leaning back as he set the newspaper aside. This would take a little more concentration than a passing ear.

"People are scared by things they don't know," Sam began only to be cut off.

"Why?"

"They don't know if it's dangerous. You didn't trust us, at first, either. We didn't know whether to trust you. Remember?"

"Oh," Jack said softly.

"Yeah. But you're right," he said with a long sigh. "It's strange. We're... strange."

"Are humans inherently good?"

"I don't think anyone is inherently good," Sam said, and Jack straightened his posture, suddenly confused by his claim. "Every person – every thing, every living thing has – has the capacity for good and evil. It's really just up to the individual to decide which side they want to give into."

"Am I a good person?"

"First off, you're not really a person," said another voice from the doorway.

Sam and Jack both turned at the same time, meeting the eye of Dean, who had yet to change out of his bathrobe despite it being 2PM.

"Second off, you haven't been alive long enough to be a good person," he continued as he entered, an empty coffee cup in hand.

"Dean –" Sam began, only to be cut off.

"What? It's the truth."

The coffee machine buzzed loudly once Dean pushed a few of the buttons, setting his cup beneath the nozzle. He muttered something to himself before turning back to the kitchen table.

"Anything strange in the paper?" He asked, leaning against the counter.

"Maybe," said Sam.

He grabbed the paper again, delving into the details of a nearby missing persons case that soon faded out of Jack's state of mind. His thoughts were still absorbed in his existence, in his beginnings, and how they compared to the beginnings of humans. At least with angels he knew everything; that was how angels were born. Knowing everything.

Jack remained seated at the table when Sam and Dean left, still stewing in his thoughts that he imagined would never go away. It was half an hour later when the two brothers returned, this time fully dressed, and packed up on their way to the car.

"We've gotta go find some local records," Dean said.

"So we're headed to the library," Sam finished, and the two gave each other odd glances at the coincidental synchronicity.

"I was there a couple days ago," Jack said, suddenly perking up. "Can I come with you?"

"Sure, just don't get in the way," Dean said with a dismissive hand, already leaving the doorway.

Sam pursed his lips, letting out a bitter, almost apologetic chuckle before he followed.

He liked the middle seat. It didn't have a seatbelt, but he wasn't sure what seatbelts were for anyways, and the middle seat allowed him easy access to see both of the Winchesters. Dean never spared a glance in his direction while he drove, but Sam offered awkward, curt smiles.

Technically Jack could just fly to the library in an instant, but the drive into town was pretty, lined with the colors of autumn. Recently winds had taken up a more brisk edge, marking the absence of birds that flew in packs overhead. He scooted to one of the window seats, craning his neck awkwardly to look up and out of the glass, grinning at the ravens flying through the orange and gold trees.

The librarian showed the three men where the records were kept, directing them towards missing persons cases when they requested it. While Sam and Dean thumbed through the records, Jack returned to ancient history books, studying art and images from Vedic India.

There, amongst the carvings printed on soft paper, he found something rather odd. He stood from his position on the floor, still staring intensely at the print as he walked over to the table Sam and Dean sat at.

"Hey Jack," Sam said as he sat down, gently placing the book on the table. He scanned Jack's hunched posture before he asked, "something up?"

"I found something... strange," he said, his brow still knotted neatly above curious eyes.

"Yeah well, join the club, kid," Dean said with a groan, wiping his face with his hand.

Jack opened his mouth to ask what they'd seen, but Sam answered before he could speak.

"There's been repeated attacks, kind of," he said, waving his hand vaguely. "Once every ten years a couple of kids go missing. Always two kids, always on the same day of the year."

"And another anomaly," Dean said, reaching over to a stack of papers and slapping them on the table in front of Jack.

Big, black words displayed the newspaper title, and below it, the date of publishing. January 4th, 1967. The main article dealt with a concert happening in a nearby city, and the image printed with it displayed a number of concert-goers, most of them in their teens or early adulthood. Hidden behind several other people, a familiar face appeared––the librarian. Unhindered by time.

"Is that..."

"Big boots over there?" Dean asked, pointing with his thumb in your general direction.

You were sorting through a stack of books, but as Jack looked down, he found you were wearing rather large boots. The ends of your pants drowned in them.

"Do you think they're related?" Jack asked as he turned back to the Winchesters.

"Possibly," Sam said with a nod. "Bit early to tell. But, uh..."

Sam trailed off as his eyes focused on something past Jack's shoulder. He, as well as Dean, turned to meet your eyes that quickly darted away once all three of them were looking at you.

"I think I have an idea," Sam said.

Dean and Jack curiously tilted their heads to the side at the same time, though when Dean noticed that, he fixed himself immediately.

"I think they have a thing for you," he said in a much quieter voice.

"Me?" Jack asked, pushing his finger into his chest.

"Yeah. You could get a little closer and see if something's up."

"Are you seriously setting up Jack with a fuckin' demon, for all we know?" Dean asked flatly, earning an odd look from Sam, who had never heard Dean protest putting Jack in danger.

"Dean, Jack's dad is a demon-angel thing. I don't think it's a big deal," he said.

That seemed to shut the older Winchester up.

"Hm," Jack hummed as he debated the idea. "I also found something strange."

"Oh, right," Sam said, clearing his head with a shake. "What was it?"

"It was also... the librarian," he said with a deep frown. "In one of the books."

He pushed forward the textbook, opening it to reveal the page in which he'd found your face. The stone expression was remarkably similar to your traits, from the curve of your nose to the positioning of your eyes, and the small, polite smile on your lips.

"I found it in the history section," Jack explained. "It says it's from Vedic India."

A quick Google-search later, Sam was reading out the age of Vedic India.

"According to this it says the Vedic age was approximately around 1500 to 800 B.C., so... about 2,500 years ago."

"Wow, this fucker's old," Dean snorted.

Sam shot him a look over the top of his computer screen.

Having found the information they were looking for, the Winchesters began to pack up their belongings and their scribbled notes, shoving them into their bags or into their many-pocketed coats. Jack, on the other hand, prepared himself for talking to you, hoping his ineptness towards social situations with humans wouldn't be too obvious. He swallowed through the knot in his throat, taking a shaking breath in an attempt to steady himself.

It didn't work.

"Dean, what am I supposed to say to them?" He whispered when they were already approaching the front desk, his palms growing sweaty.

"I don't know, their job or something? Something normal," he very unhelpfully advised.

"Thanks for letting us stay for the day," Sam said with a polite smile, handing back one of the printed out records you'd fetched for them from beneath your desk.

"Not a problem. You keep quiet. I like that in a reader," you said, smiling back as you glanced between the three of them.

None of them moved, and your expression turned to mild confusion. Dean had to jab Jack in the side to get him to speak. He opened his mouth to protest, but Dean motioned something to Sam, and the two of them quickly left for the car, leaving Jack alone while they 'situated' themselves.

"I, um..." Jack started before he was ready.

The silence felt wrong, but the silence after saying something was much, much worse. Whatever came into his mind first would have to be what he said.

"I like your job," he said, keenly scanning your expression for any hint of your thoughts.

You paused, clearly taken back for a moment, before you broke out into a chuckle, looking down to your hands as your face flushed.

"I like it quite a lot, too," you said with a grin, looking back up at him. "I've always been interested in becoming a librarian. Granted, I didn't quite imagine it in Kansas, but it is pretty here."

"Where did you imagine it?"

"Greece, actually," you chuckled, and he smiled as well, his heart thumping with a sudden haste. "I was heartbroken to hear the Library of Alexandria was burned down."

"The Library of Alexandria?" He repeated, tilting his head to the side again.

"Haven't heard of it?" You asked.

He shook his head gingerly. Was he supposed to?

No matter––you explained in full what the Library of Alexandria was, when it was created, when it was burnt, and the loss it caused amongst human society. He listened intently, frequently asking questions you were happy to answer. When Jack glanced out the library window, he found the impala gone, and realized Sam's plan had, in a way, worked.

"Are there.. any books about the library?" He asked once you completed your short story.

"Yes, but I don't want to hold you folks up –"

It was then you looked out the window as well, finding the two large men had abandoned the smaller.

"Oh where'd they go?" You said in a curious, high voice.

"Don't worry about that, I... have a bus," he said, earning a strange look. "I am... I ride buses."

A beat of silence passed.

"So the Library was in Greece?" He asked, and your earlier mood returned.

You brought him––with much excitement––to one of the rows in the library filled with simple textbooks for primary school kids. Other rows of your well-tended library were occupied by old books, their bindings worn and frayed at the edges from continuous use. Pages were turned yellow and were soft beneath his fingers, but despite their age they were rather hard for Jack to read and understand, meaning his discovery of children's comprehensible textbooks was a giddy one.

Jack wasn't entirely sure what he was supposed to be looking for when it came to you. What counted as suspicious? You continued to speak with him even after the sun set behind mountains, that could be a sign you were trying to gather information on him, as well. That could also mean you liked him. Was your friendliness suspect?

"- and the Phoenicians were really only called that by the Grecians. The name came from the purple dye that they're famous for, some root word for 'purple people' in Greek is Phoenicia," you explained, moving your hands expressively despite the fact that Jack's eyes were set dead on the textbook on the floor in front of you. Paragraphs of words surrounded modern depictions of ancient people and their art.

"So what was their actual name?" He asked as he looked up to you.

"Canaanites. From the land of Canaan."

"... you know a lot," he said, looking back to the page as you chuckled.

"It's just memory," you said with a shrug.

"Can I... can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you know anything about mythical creatures?"

Surely this would reveal something, Jack thought––you might react poorly, in which case you could be the monster, or you might react in complete knowledge, which... could also mean you were the monster.

"A little," you said slowly. "Why do you ask?"

"I have an interest, in myths and monsters," he said, almost smiling again.

"Oh man, I have a show you're going to love."

Far in the back of the library, a hollow, steel door led to a small break room, the carpet inside being a dark, scratchy grey against his palms when he sat down. There were no chairs in the room, but an old TV sat on a cheap cart plugged into the nearest, bare wall. On the opposite side of the TV was a dull blue counter that stretched from the door to a window covered by plastic shingle curtains.

You snatched the remote off the counter, pressing a large, red button that had the television buzzing to life loudly. The screen sparked, static radiating around it as a thin line of white brought life to a Netflix loading screen.

After several minutes of waiting for Netflix to load and then typing a title into the search bar, a show called Myths and Monsters was before him. He let out a laugh as he realized what had sparked the connection––he'd literally spoken the title.

Would an ancient being or monster know how to work a TV?

Castiel could work a TV.

Kind of.

The first episode began to play and you took a seat beside Jack, crossing your legs neatly beneath you. A few minutes in, rain pattered lightly on the roof, followed by sudden winds that battered the now pouring rain against the window. Jack watched through the side of his eye as you smiled at the change in weather.

That was suspicious.

Late in the evening, when night darkened the land and heavy thunderclouds darkened the sky, he left the library. He stood in the threshold between the warm light on your desk in the otherwise dark room, and the falling rain outside. Yellow-orange streetlamps illuminated the sheets of rain and the nearby bus stop, but you still stopped him, holding the door open as you both stood motionless in front of one another.

"I have a car, I can drive you home," you offered, gesturing over your shoulder to a door in the back that led to a private parking lot behind the library. "I'm not sure if the bus runs this late."

Extended time with you would be good, and he imagined your face illuminated by dim dashboard car lights would be better than good––great. Beautiful. You had wonderfully warm features. But you couldn't know where he lived for a number of reasons; if you were the monster, that was giving away a hiding place, and if you weren't, you would wonder why he lived in such a strange place.

"Thank you, but it's alright," he said. "I like the rain."

A small smile stretched across your plush lips.

"So do I," you said, and the two of you bid good-bye, retreating into your respective dark.

He gave a thorough rundown of the events proceeding after Sam and Dean left, and the three of them––Sam, Dean, and Castiel––listened closely. Dean already filled Castiel in on the rest of the case, and the two brothers were eating at the long table in the bunker's library.

They stared at him in silence when he finished.

"Sounds like a regular kid," Sam finally said.

"Ah don't be so sure about that," Dean said, raising a single brow. "What did you say the monster probably was?"

"A – a fae, or something," he said.

"Fae's good at lying," Dean pointed out, earning a reluctant nod from Castiel.

"He's right. Fairies are remarkably good at acting," he said in his low, grating voice.

"So... what next?" Jack asked.

"We'll keep looking into the case more, and you can probably ask the librarian out on a date," Sam suggested, earning an agreeing remark from Dean. "You can keep them distracted while we search their house."

"Do we know where they live yet?" asked Dean.

"No, but it shouldn't be too hard to find out," Sam said.

Jack watched the brothers for a moment, his mind emptying of answers as to what a 'date' was.

"What's a date?"

"Oh Christ," Dean muttered, moving immediately to his feet and leaving the room.

Sam let out an exasperated sigh at his brother, turning to Jack to explain what a date was, what were appropriate date activities, and how he should act when asking you out and when being out with you.

"Okay," Jack said with a nod despite not really understanding. "What are dates for?"

"They're between people who are interested in.. getting to know each other," Castiel said as he took a seat beside Sam across from Jack.

"So... like when Dean and I went driving."

"No. Not like that," Sam quickly said. "Not like that at all. If – if a guy is interested in a girl, like interested in having her be his girlfriend, then he might ask her out on a date. It's a romantic thing."

"The librarian does seem to be interested in you, from what I’ve heard," Castiel said with a pointed look in Jack's direction.

"I think you've got a shot," Sam agreed, nodding.

Jack thought for a moment before he said, "okay."

A few days later––Dean insisted he only try a few days later, saying anything less was damaging his honor––Jack returned to the library, lighting up when he found you were still working at the small front desk, your nose buried in a large box full of papers. Large, round glasses were hanging off the tip of your nose, and you pushed them up to your eyes when they slipped further off.

The door clicked softly shut behind him when he entered, scanning the room as if there was another reason he was there. You watched him the whole time, continuing to when he approached you, something obviously on his mind.

"I was wondering..." he trailed off, losing himself in your bright, expectant eyes. When he realized he'd fallen silent, he added the first thing that came to mind––a lie. "... if you could show me where the... books are."

You chuckled before you said, "which ones?"

"Maps," he said, smiling as he came up with something actually substantial.

Of course, it wasn't asking you out, but at least it was talking to you. He would have to do that later, though he supposed he'd have to do it that day or he would be disappointing the Winchesters and Castiel when he came back to the bunker without even trying to complete their orders.

"We don't really have a maps section, but I might be able to help you if you tell me the time and place you're looking for," you suggested for him, and he nodded slowly.

"Yes. Please."

"So what are you looking for?"

"Oh. Right, uh.. Greece and Mediterranean," he said, repeating subjects from the last time you'd spoken.

"Mediterranean sea?"

He nodded.

"What year?" You asked.

"Uh..." he drew another blank, "two... hundred."

You seemed reluctant to ask the next question, but it was necessary; "before christ or after?"

"... before."

"Alright," you said with a soft snicker, moving around your crowded desk area and towards the bookcases.

Your stride slowed as you approached a certain shelf, shifting up onto the tips of your toes to reach the highest books. Jack thought of offering his help, but he wasn't much taller than you––if at all––and he didn't know which books to get down.

Four thick books ended up in your arms, and you heaved them over to the nearest table, letting them thump down heavily. You spread them out, flipping rapidly through the pages till you found the proper maps you seemed to have memorized within each of the books.

"This one's about 900 BC to 200 AD, so it's got a bit wider of a range. Includes the bigger cities. This one is.. 1500 BC to 300 BC, so a little bit within range, has a lot more cities," you said, moving from one textbook to the next while Jack stared at you, enamored by your plush lips.

He barely even noticed that you finished your explanations, nor your quick words mentioning you should probably return to your studies and leave him to it. But he reached out on instinct, grabbing your wrist and tugging gently, convincing you to turn back to him. Your eyes, still bright, retained that same patient expectancy as his previous evening with you.

"I... could you talk to me?" He asked, oblivious to the implications read clearly by you.

"About what?" You asked in return as you stepped subtly closer.

"About fairies."

You paused, your eyes widening slightly.

"The ones from Celtic folklore or... like modern media fairies?" You asked slowly, slinking down into a seat you situated to face him.

He did the same, his feet planted firmly on the floor as he watched you, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Just... the oldest versions of fairies."

You nodded, again slowly as you pursed your lips.

"Well the oldest mentions of them in literature actually comes from ancient Greece, from the Iliad, by Homer," you began, immediately using your hands expressively as you spoke. "Those weren't Celtic fairies, though. Greeks considered creatures like satyrs and such to be fairies, as well, so... generally fairies and the fae as we think of them now came from Ireland and Scotland."

"Where are they?" He asked with a head tilt.

You stuttered for a second, your eyes flying across the room until you stood, returning to the shelves. He watched with much humor as you read the book titles at a frightening pace, fingers flipping over the bindings till you pulled one down.

"Here, world map," you said, and though he didn't notice, you didn't comment on the oddity of not knowing where Scotland and Ireland were. Almost everyone knew where those two countries were; or, at least, the general area.

"In Ireland fairies are seen as simply... mythical people. Great warriors and poets, or witches, they're all considered part of the fae in Celtic culture. In Scotland, though, fairies are more dangerous, essentially being creatures that feed off humans in one way or another," you continued. "Like... banshees, those are Scottish, and jack o' lanterns."

"Jack o' lanterns?"

He'd heard of banshees before; they were mentioned a few times by the Winchester brothers.

"Not like the Halloween pumpkins," you said, but when you were met with further confusion, you slowly said, "...and you don't know what those are either, do you?"

He shook his head reluctantly.

You spent the next two, whole hours talking to him, going over any question he had no matter how much you thought he should've known the answer to begin with. Jack relaxed into that feeling, into that ease, while suspicion grew in your own mind. There was no one of his age and stature that didn't know the questions he posed. Still, you found yourself unable to pin any such wariness of manipulation onto such a polite boy.

Engrossed fully in whatever you had to say and rarely speaking himself, Jack absorbed a number of facts about the fae. About their trickery and mischief, about their magic, how different species had different thoughts on humanity. Considering the lengths you knew about other subjects, none of what you told him occurred to him as suspicious. You seemed, again, to be a dedicated––but human––scholar.

When at last he exhausted his questions, both on and off topic, he began a build-up of courage. Asking someone out for a case should've been much easier than this, or at least that's what he thought. Dean mentioned he'd done similar things for other such cases.

Jack's face scrunched up in deep thought despite the silence between you.

"Are you alright, Jack?" You asked.

"Oh. I'm... fine," he said, nodding his head in a way that didn't convince you all that well. "I – I wanted to ask you something."

You nodded, gently helping him along.

"I know we don't know each other that well, but... you.. interest me, and.." he trailed off once more. It was difficult to tell a lie that was technically the truth. "I was wondering if you wanted to go with me. On a date."

He expected a number of things from you––perhaps anger, perhaps embarrassment, perhaps shock, but you just chuckled, leaning back in your chair. His brow furrowed at your odd reaction. Were you laughing at him?

"Was that what you wanted to ask me when you first came in?" You said through your giggles, your soft skin glowing in the warm, early evening light.

"... yes," he said, huffing out his own chuckle as his eyes fell to the floor. "I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologize," you said with a grin. “You’re the one who had to listen to me ramble.”

"So.. will you..?"

"Yeah," you chuckled, nodding. "I enjoy your company as well."

A smile made a permanent home on Jack's face as he returned to the bunker, his official mission having been successfully completed, and his hands still burning with the touch you left as he walked out the door. While most of the town smelled like baking pies and cinnamon cider, the bunker carried no such warmth, and smelled more like rotting leaves than anything else, though Sam lit a couple apple candles in his room. The scent filled part of a long hallway.

He found his fathers all sitting on a single couch, facing a television that had some sort of film playing on it through the static. Jack silently stepped round the nearest chair, taking a seat beside them, and watching on intently. A soft, high note hummed from the speakers.

Red, ratted curtains pulled way for sunlight streaming through dust-filled air. The wooden windowsill had a vase in which a single, molted flower sat, most of its petals having fallen off long ago. But that wasn't where the camera stopped; it halted above the image of two women tangled in sheets similarly worn down as the curtains were, requiring many patches over large holes. One had their face pressed to the other's neck, her nose nudging a sharp jawline owned by still sleeping eyes. Their limbs were knotted tight together, chest to chest, and a quiet, sleepy melody humming out of the smaller's pale lips.

Jack frowned. He'd never seen two people so physically close together. The nearest thing he'd seen was Dean and Castiel hugging, and even that was reserved in a way. This was pure trust––pure peace, and he found himself wondering if it was entirely fictional, or if such happiness could really exist in the world that at times felt poisoned.

Maybe it did exist if you found a way to smile that brightly.

He earned a whole other course of schooling once he announced their plan was successful. Dean clapped him proudly on the back, shooting a dirty grin that Sam countered with clean praise. Even Castiel seemed to be proud. Jack beamed at that, his heartbeat now pounding at the thought of three days from now; when he had planned the date.

In the meantime, the brothers stayed up for most of the night, though they looked much worse for wear that morning than Jack after he stayed up with them. Researching faes was actually a little easier than a lot of other monsters––there were many articles about them, and a deeply-engrained fear of changeling children had led to thorough documentation on the fae realm and its inhabitants. Jack was still a little slow at typing, so Sam captained the computer research, while Jack sped through the books in the bunker's library. Dean looked through articles and stories in newspapers searching for any hint of where they children might be kept if they weren't immediately killed.

The more he read about fairies, about their habits, their composure, and their lies, the less he could picture you as one. Originally a fairy brought to mind someone beautiful and fair, or someone like you, with dazzling eyes that could stop an archangel in their step. But the sharp teeth and wicked, wirey hair didn't sound at all like you. He'd felt your hands––once brushing over his––and there were no claws or stinging sensations that lingered in your touch. Still, the Winchesters probably knew better than him, and he pushed the feeling aside.

In the next evening, after Dean took a long day nap, Sam and Dean set to packing up their tools and tricks once more, tossing them into the back of the impala with the rest of the permanent fixtures. Jack watched as they did this, his hair still neat and clean despite not sleeping or washing up for two days.

"Can I come with?" He asked in the politest voice he could manage.

They were headed off to the library under the cover of night. After hearing about several back rooms Jack noticed during his time there, a reasonable question was posed––was there more information you could be hiding?

"Uh –" Sam began, only to be cut off by Dean saying –

"No. If we get found, that's fine, but if you're with us, we lose your relationship with her."

Before Jack could reply Dean climbed into the drivers seat, followed by Sam clambering in beside him. He had issues getting into the car at times. The engine stuttered to life, and Sam waved good-bye through the windshield as they pulled and drove the car away.

Jack frowned, his brow knitted together again.

"Bye," he said, but he was the only one to hear it.

Castiel would be back soon. He decided waiting in the library would guarantee he'd see Castiel as soon as possible, something he desired, as there were a number of new questions he wanted to pose to the elder angel. Thousands of years his senior, Castiel must've had answers––some sort of insight to some strange impulses, or simply comfort against 'wrong' thoughts.

Technically your library was private, meaning others weren't allowed to take your books away from the building, but you allowed him to take something home under the assurance of a guarantee. He would return it next time he saw you, a promise that clearly meant a lot to you going by the ease that overtook you when he said 'okay' with a signature, sweet smile. The only reason you leant the book to him was because it contained information you considered thought-provoking, thoughts about how humanity evolves, and how technological advances could change the actual anatomy of the human mind. Some of the claims seemed to him to be a bit of a reach, but others brought him interesting points.

The metal latch on the door let out a resounding click as the door swung open, Castiel standing behind with wild hair and a stunned look about him. He flung the door shut before running down the stairs towards Jack.

"Have they gotten back from the library yet?" He asked as he approached.

"No, they left..." he glanced at the clock, "a couple hours ago."

"Hmm," Castiel grumbled. "That's a long time for them."

"Should we go help them?" Jack suggested, setting your book aside as he stood straighter in his chair.

"No, we'll give them some more time. See what happens," he said before he set off, jogging into the hall.

Jack sighed as he slumped back into his seat, almost mourning the death of an easy excuse to go see your library. And Castiel left before he could ask him anything. Dean had a point, though––if they were caught and he was with them, that would ruin your relationship entirely, and that was something he, for some reason, despised.

It took another hour and a half before Sam and Dean were waltzing back in from the garage, tossing their duffel bags aside and shucking off warm, autumn jackets to side chairs. Something must've given away their presence, as Castiel was quick to reenter the main room.

"How did it go?" He asked.

"Like shit," Dean said, not even bothering to stop as he passed Castiel.

"We didn't find anything," Sam clarified. "Whole place was clean."

"Well.. maybe it's at their house," Castiel said almost gingerly, turning to keep his ever-vigilant eyes on the elder Winchester. "All the tools and... stuff."

"Yeah, that's what we're hoping," Dean said as he disappeared into the hallway.

"When did you say your date was again?" Sam asked, turning to Jack, who blanked for a moment before he answered.

"Two days from now," he said.

"Alright, well... we'll see what happens," he said with a nod, setting his hands on his hips. "Hopefully find where they might be hiding the kids."

Dean reentered with a bottle in hand, taking a quick swig as he settled down into one of the cushier chairs.

Jack's heart sped when his fingers began to fidget together, squirming restlessly in front of him. Questions still lingered on the edge of his mind, and answers from anyone would do him well, though he was well aware Dean would probably be reluctant to offer any advice to him.

"Could I ask you some questions?" He asked in the general direction of Cas, who happened to be standing right beside Dean. Castiel opened his mouth to answer.

"Sure," Dean said before he could speak. Castiel promptly shut his mouth after that.

"I know this shouldn't get in the way of the case, and it won't," Jack said as he took a seat opposite Dean. He and his brother shot each other glances. "I just have strange... thoughts, when I am around the librarian. Impulses, kind of."

Dean, who had raised the bottle to his lips, paused at those words and set it down instead, a decision that shocked both Sam and Castiel.

"What kind of impulses?" He asked in a flat voice.

"I want to... eat them," Jack said slowly, his brow furrowed deeply as he looked at the ground. When he looked back up, all three men were staring at him.

"You want to what??" Castiel asked.

"Like.. put my mouth on them...?" He tried.

"Wait – you mean kissing?" Sam asked as he shifted his weight between his feet.

"N... no, I don't think it's that," Jack said, though he was growing even less sure of himself with how they continued to gawk at him.

"You want to make out with the fairy?" Dean asked with a look that screamed 'unbelievable'.

"Maybe?" was the best answer Jack could offer.

Dean sighed, rubbing his face tiredly with his free hand.

"I don't want to.. encourage these thoughts," Castiel said, "but they might help on your date."

"So I should kiss them?"

"Maybe at the end of it," Sam suggested.

"And... how do I kiss?"

"Fuckin' –" Dean muttered under his breath as he stood, leaving the room with annoyance in his scowl.

The three of them––Jack, Sam, and Castiel––watched Dean round the corner and disappear.

"Ignore him," Sam said.

Sam, with some help from Castiel, patiently re-explained the happenings and ongoings of dates, from conversation topics to activities often done on dates. Sam assured Jack that he needn't do anything dramatic, over the top, or especially original, since Jack 'wasn't actually going on a date,' a phrase that made him a little sad for a reason he couldn't identify.

A bouquet of chocolate roses lay in his hands, the neon and florescent lights of the convenience store flickering and buzzing above him. Sam insisted a good way to start a date was with a gift––conventionally flowers, but the second Jack saw the chocolate roses he was entranced. He'd never seen candy in the shape of something real. Surely you would be delighted by the art, as well. Sam was less sure than he was, but allowed him to buy it with a chuckle, muttering something about how he wouldn't need to get chocolates anymore.

"Now remember," Sam began as he adjusted Jack's collar, "blood-soaked iron is what kills them, but since we don't have that right now, I think iron should hurt them."

"Forks, fire pokers, metal pipes... those usually have iron in them," said Dean.

"And if you get into a fight, just get out of there," Sam finished.

"No hanky-panky, either," Dean said.

"Dean," he hissed, slapping his brother's arm.

"What's hanky-panky?" Jack asked, furrowing his brow.

"Nevermind, just––be safe, have fun," Sam said with a smile, patting his shoulder.

The brothers dropped him off at your house before circling the block in search of a good vantage point. He took a shaky breath as he climbed your steps, soon rapping his knuckles on the plain, wooden door. It was a bit of a task trying to swallow, but he managed to push past his tight throat and put a smile on his face.

Footsteps sounded, growing closer until the door opened, revealing your wide eyes and the olive green silk you wore, draping elegantly from your chest down to your feet. A heavyweight scarf rested upon your shoulders. The warm light of the hallway behind you illuminated the loose strands of your always messy hair, but the sight still had his lips parting as he gasped softly. He felt suddenly out of place in his simple button-down, pants, and everyday jacket, shifting his weight almost uncomfortably as he found himself at a loss for words.

"You look... really nice," he said rather awkwardly, gesturing vaguely to your outfit with a dopey smile.

"Thanks," you said, chuckling. "You look nice too."

He stared for another moment before he suddenly remembered the chocolate and foil roses in his hands.

"I got these for you," he said as he handed them to you, scanning every inch of your reaction. "Sam told me to get flowers, but I think this is better, ‘cause then you get to eat them."

"You actually can eat roses! They just don't taste very good," you giggled, fixing your hair as you took them, a blushing smile still on your face. "I do like chocolate more, though."

"Oh, good," he said, his shoulders finally falling from their tense position. "I hope you don't mind walking. I don't know how to drive."

"I like walking, actually," you said as you walked past him, trotting down the front steps of your house. He followed along, his soft brown hair flopping like a puppy's ears over innocent eyes. "I like taking walks at night, but I don't take them a lot. It's kind of dangerous."

"Why?"

"A lot of people aren't very nice, or they're down on their luck and make poor decisions. I don't want to get hurt or mugged just because I like wandering around."

"Why would someone hurt you? You're such a nice person," he said with a frown.

"That doesn't mean anything," you laughed softly.

Food wasn't a particular attraction of Kansas, but few things were. The amount of restaurants in town was high, most of them serving a very similar menu containing lots of meat, barbecue, pie, and sometimes funnel cake. None were all that classy, so Jack took you to a place that Sam recommended––a nearly 24 hours open cafe whose kitchen was always open, and who hosted quiet, live jazz on select evenings.

You and Jack spoke of a number of things while you walked, none more interesting than any of your previous conversation topics, as you seemed to want to stay on the topic of him as a person rather than the history you usually rambled about. You asked who Sam was, which he explained as one of his fathers, at which point you asked who the second was. He hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should tell the truth or formulate a more normal-person lie.

"I... my mother died in childbirth," he said, his voice uncharacteristically low and quiet, murmuring with the sureness of his trust in you. "My father, Castiel, takes care of me, with his brothers, Sam and Dean."

"Oh. I'm sorry," you murmured, and he opened his mouth to give the usual speech––it's alright, I've gotten used to it––but you continued with, "it's an honorable way to die."

He paused to absorb your words. No one had ever said that before.

"Yeah," he finally said. "I guess you're right."

"So what's your father like?"

He sucked in a breath, forced to once again decide between a truth, a half-truth, and a lie. Like with most things, he took the middle road.

"My genetic father isn't... I don't talk to him," he said.

"Oh."

"But Castiel is good. He always tries to do what's right. I'm still trying to learn about this whole.. being-alive thing, from him."

"I think we all are," you chuckled.

You ended up ordering for him when you finally got to the cafe, standing in line for only a few minutes before you were looking for a table. He had trouble understanding the menu, often asking you what things were, and eventually you had to gently push him on to let the next people in line have a turn. If this bothered you, it didn't show.

Piano and saxophone played in time with one another, their rhythms and melodies dancing around the beat of the drummer. Scant, warm light shone from above, illuminating the haze of clouds drifting from smokers, most of whom stood in the corner, nursing the embers as they watched the musicians play. Jack tapped his foot to the beat against the dark oak floor.

You joined him a moment later, two coffees in hand and your coat draped over your arm.

"Have you ever been here before?" You asked as you took a seat, casting your jacket over the back of the chair after you set the coffee down.

"No, I don't really get out much," he admitted.

"How come?"

"I don't.. really have friends," he admitted, again, though this time much more reluctantly. He'd heard that generally people respected you more if you had friends.

"That's alright," you said, leaning back with a soft smile made only more alluring by the dim, red and orange light. "I've found it's more fun to stay in than to go out sometimes. Everything becomes the same after a while. You can drink at home, you can dance at home, sing, host parties..." you sipped from your steaming cup, ".. so, obviously, I don't go out much either."

"You have friends, though?"

"Not really," you chuckled, glancing down. "Books last longer than conversation, generally."

"Then... why talk to me?" He asked, attempting to meet your eye with that knot still tucked into his brow.

"Because you came to me."

Soon your conversation was halted by a server bringing out your food. You made sure to thank him as he left, before hungry eyes settled eagerly upon your funnel cake. Unwrapping the napkin, you set the orange cloth on your lap, revealing your silverware. Jack followed your lead, copying your motions near exactly down to you rubbing your hands together excitedly.

He'd never tried funnel cake before, leaving him to melt as he took his first bite.

"Good, isn't it?" You chuckled through a full mouth.

He nodded ardently.

The crowd began to thin halfway through your meal, turning thick conversation to quiet murmurs confined to singular tables in corners and shadowed areas. Jack still had yet to find anything incriminating about you, an answer that led only to other questions, ones that flew wildly around his head.

You didn't seem human––at least, not entirely. There were things you said that hinted to something else, a knowledge within that was a little too wide for the lengths of a human mind. That and your soul; what he could see of your soul was strangely colored, florescent holographic, and warped far more than normal people's usually were––almost as warped as Sam and Dean's souls now were. Bright, yes, but warped. Something had happened to you.

But there was nothing bad within you. Darkness tinted the edges, the edges so often scraped by the world around you––the world around both of you––but the center within, where your heart emanated, was clear. It was actually rather beautiful; you were rather beautiful.

He wished he could tell you without seeming strange.

"What do you think about most, Jack?" You asked, pulling him away from his thoughts.

He instantly stuttered, as what he'd been thinking about was you, but he couldn't say that.

"Just.. uh, my, uh.. my place in the world," he said, tapping the end of his fork on the old wood table.

"Like your job, or your purpose as a human?" You asked as you sipped from your third refill of coffee.

"My purpose, sort of," he said, his eyes flickering to the ground. "I have a lot of responsibility. My father thinks I'm very powerful."

Was that giving too much away?

"What does he want you to do?"

"He wants me... to stay alive," he said, earning a soft chuckle from you that had a smile spreading across his own face. "I think he wants me to be safe and happy."

"That's a wonderful goal," you said with a grin. "And there are so many ways to achieve that."

So far he'd only found ways to achieve the opposite––how to antagonize the world by existing, how his grandfather wanted him dead, how his genetic father would use him for any power grab he posed. If you wanted to feel at risk of dying at any moment, he knew a thousand ways to do it.

"I haven't really found any," he said quietly.

You paused before you asked, "do you want my advice?"

He nodded, hesitantly at first, but sure of himself when you smiled softly.

"Always be kind to others. Mind your own business unless someone is getting hurt, and if you have to get your hands dirty, do it for only a second. Then get the hell out of there and wash yourself clean for the next hundred couple years," you said.

There it was again. A hint of something more. In passing conversations Jack heard from strangers, no one spoke like they lived history. Not like you did. And he'd wager no historian spoke with the sense of memory that you did.

"Anything specific make you realize that?" He asked, unable to stop himself from chuckling.

You looked his age––sometime in your 20's––but you spoke like an 80 year old. Something about that facade appeared humorous to him. He also looked your age––sometime in his 20′s––but he spoke like a 10 year old far more than he liked to admit.

"Family drama," you said dismissively. "I've been steering clear for a while now."

Did fairies have families?

Well, if you were a fairy, you could just be lying then.

Jack frowned. If Dean or Castiel were here, they would know what to say and think.

"I understand," was what he said instead.

The impala was still parked near the house by the time Jack was walking you home, a sight that nearly sent him panicking. Sam and Dean wouldn't want him to do that. So he clenched his fists in his pockets, his shoulders tightening ever so slightly as he tried to slow his pace in a way you wouldn't notice.

But you did. Of course you did.

"You alright, Jack?" You asked, matching his pace.

"Yeah, I just..." what was something normal to say? Something he could back up – "I meant to ask you something, but I didn't ever... find the time to."

"What was it you wanted to ask?"

He shivered as a brisk wind picked up, the dry, orange leaves on the edges of the sidewalk passing quick by his feet in the breeze.

"Do you think everyone feels this lost in life?" He asked, barely audible above the wind.

"There's a little bit of you in everybody, just like how there's a little bit of everybody in you. You're capable of the same things that a murderer is just as you are a... a hero, or a martyr," you said, taking time to think before you spoke. "Humans are remarkably similar, you come to see after a while. And even Gods face these questions, these wonderings of their origins and their purpose, if their creations are everything they're meant for or – or if they're doing something wrong, and they should be doing something else instead."

He continued to stare at the ground as you walked slowly side by side, brought out of his intense expression by something soft flopping over the back of his neck. His heart thrummed as you stopped him there, turning him to face you, and looking him in the eye as you fixed your scarf on his shoulders. The effect was instantaneous––his shoulders relaxed and the stress fell from his brow, absorbed in the warmth of your gesture.

"Whatever you're going through," you gave him a pointed look, telling him silently to not deny this truth, "is worse and better than what other people go through. It may not be the best but it's probably not the worst."

Your advice, though insightful, didn't mean much considering his problems had to do with the continued life or prompt execution of the entire universe by a bitter, old man. But the main point remained; there were more painful deaths than his, just as there were better ways to die than he would or will. He may not be facing the best circumstances, but they could be much worse, and the fact that normal humans often asked the same questions he did was more of a comfort than he thought it would be. Perhaps he really was connected to his mother in that way.

The steps creaked beneath your shared weight as you both approached the front door of your house. You opened the door, stepping partway through the threshold before you turned to him, hesitation lacing your open mouth.

Behind you, Jack managed to spot two shadowed figures running across the hallway towards what he presumed to be a back door. His eyes widened imperceptibly and he pursed his lips, quick averting his gaze back to you.

"You're special, Jack," you said quietly, scanning him with a careful look. "Don't let bad circumstances own you. You only get so much time in this world."

"You're very kind," was all he could managed to respond with. "Thanks for... going out with me tonight."

"Of course. I like talking to you."

"I'm glad you do," he said with a sheepish chuckle, one you mimicked as you fixed your hair.

"I'll see you again soon?"

"Yes, I – oh," he interrupted himself, remembering your scarf still enveloping him, "this belongs to you."

"Don't worry about it," you said, taking his arms and settling them back down to his sides. "It's kind of cold out tonight, and I'm assuming you're walking home... aren't you?"

"... yeah," he lied, blood rushing to his face at the thought of taking a piece of you home.

"Then I'll get it back another time," you said, smiling.

You hesitated to close the door again, and instead you gingerly moved forward, raising yourself to press a single, soft kiss to his cheek, the edge of it just barely touching his lips. His mouth parted in surprise, but before he could say anything you shut the door.

He walked back to the impala completely starstruck.

"I don't think they're dangerous," Jack said, restating what he'd said earlier to Sam and Dean on the drive home––he just couldn't see you as suspicious. Strange, yes, but not murderous.

"If what you say is true, though, then this is quite likely a fae," said Castiel as his eyes flickered from Jack to Sam and Dean.

"See? Facts are facts, kid," Dean said, pointing to Castiel with a smile.

"Hexbags, crystals, actual photos with them from, like, 1890? And the amount of plants," Sam continued with a slight shudder.

"How many plants were there?" Castiel asked, frowning sternly.

"Too damn many," Dean answered for him. "The point is, we gotta interrogate that thing."

"They didn't do anything wrong!" Jack said, his voice tripling without his knowledge.

Everyone in the room reacted accordingly––stiff postures and sharp breaths as the golden light faded in his eyes.

"Jack..." Castiel began hesitantly, his voice quiet and low.

He barely uttered out an 'I'm sorry,' before he turned and left, disappearing down the hallway and into his room.

It took him nearly a whole day to leave his room, having spent most of the time alone to brood and ponder over his actions, and whether or not he was being manipulated by a fairy creature. He couldn't deny the fact that there was a chance he was wrong and he was under your control, thus landing him with the only sane decision, somehow; trust Sam and Dean.

Silence surrounded him as he padded through the bunker, headed towards the kitchens after not eating for nearly 24 hours. Technically he could live without food for much, much longer than that, even without sleep, but it wasn't a particularly pleasant experience.

When he reached the kitchen he also found it empty. In fact, the whole bunker sounded empty, leaving all the cereal for him. He smiled.

Sam and Dean returned before Castiel did, though after their return they hid away doing 'private business' in the basement area. Jack tried to ask what it was they were doing, but Dean curtly brushed him off, sending him back upstairs to go clean up the mess they left in the kitchen after a quick, midnight dinner.

As he was scrubbing the dishes, a door lock clattered in the distance, marking Castiel's return. Now that the fort was manned again, he could sneak off to see you in the morning. Castiel informed him that showing up at people's houses at midnight could be seen in a very bad way. He knew you wouldn't judge him, but he still didn't want to embarrass himself, and it was only a few more hours to wait till dawn.

He could fly. He could also ask Sam or Dean to drive him (while he could also ask to drive Baby, he knew the answer would be an ardent no), but the grey clouds promised rain, and the smell of rain hitting the leaf-covered earth pleasured his mind. With your scarf wrapped around him, he could avoid the cold as well.

His feet were a little tired by the time your library came into view, though still warm in the crisp air from fuzzy, woolen socks. The frayed edges of your scarf fluttered about chaotically in the wind as he noticed something rather odd––the library wasn't open. None of the lights were turned on, the chairs were still atop the tables, and you were nowhere to be seen. He had left the bunker a little early, but you always opened by 5AM at the latest, and it was 8 now.

For several minutes he hadn't a clue as to what to do, meaning he stood motionless in silence in front of the glass door, his head tilting slowly to the side in confusion. Maybe you woke up late––that would explain it. You were perfectly safe in your bed, dozing after a good night's sleep, completely unharmed.

But things rarely worked out so easily for Jack. Your home was empty, no sign of your disappearance left as your shoes, jacket, keys, and wallet were still left by the front door. In a sudden panic at the thought of your absence, the world around him flickered for a split second before he appeared in the bunker's war room. Knowing the usual fate of the people he cared about, you were probably being hurt, perhaps kidnapped by the actual fae who'd been killing the children, or lost of your own volition in a forest you wandered too far into.

"Castiel." Jack grabbed the angel's coat sleeve, stopping him on the way to the stairs. "I went looking for the librarian and they're missing."

"Missing?" Castiel repeated with a grimace. "Did you check the library and the house?"

"Yes, I couldn't find them."

"They might be headed for the children," he said, sending a pang through Jack's heart that he ignored.

"Is... is there a way to track a fae?"

"There's no spell I know of," Castiel said, his gaze falling to the floor as he scanned his mind. "But if it's a magical creature, it may carry a sort of... a sort of scent."

"A scent?" Jack furrowed his brow, wondering if something could carry your scent.

Something you'd been around a while. Something like your books, or your bed, or –

Jack jumped after he realized he was still wearing your scarf which, despite its' time with Jack in his room, still smelled of you. He shoved it into Castiel's arms, but he only gave him a confused look.

"It's their scarf," he explained.

Castiel spared him from the embarrassment of explaining how he'd gotten it.

He held the crumpled scarf in his hand up to his nose, intaking a deep breath with closed eyes. Jack hadn't ever heard of this kind of tracking, which was odd since he inherently knew most things about angels, but he would never distrust his father. What he did distrust was the churning feeling in his chest, as though a curved knife had impaled itself in him and twisted slowly through his skin.

Doubts pervaded both angels almost immediately as Castiel followed the trail. It led near to the stairs, but took a harsh turn and went into the hallway, leading them further into the bunker.

"Are you sure this is theirs?" Castiel asked as they hurried down the hall.

"Positive," he said, earning a sigh and a nod from Castiel.

They continued, this time less sure of themselves, as the scarf continued to lead them through the bunker, trotting down stairs till they landed in the base floor. Here the walls, ceiling, and floor were made of thick cement, allowing their footsteps to echo around the empty halls.

Jack picked up the pace and Castiel followed, running after the trail that ended right in front of the dungeon door. The torture room door, where monsters were locked up, and sometimes friends as well. A sort of fury was boiling in his blood despite his earlier acceptance of the Winchester's plan. Keeping you here in secret was never something he agreed to.

Without even fully realizing it, Jack was wrenching open the handle, the door whizzing open and slamming against the wall with a resounding crack. There, in the center of a pentagram, you were bound to a chair with thick, iron chains, your molted form flanked by Sam and Dean. The latter carried a knife in his hand, one covered in dripping blood. Sam whirled around at the sound of the door opening, meaning he was the first to see Jack's glowing eyes, and the suddenly panicked expression on Castiel's face.

"What are you doing to them?" Castiel growled with wide eyes, taking long, quick steps over in front of you. Without hesitation he undid the restraints, letting you fall down to the floor.

"Cas, they're a fae," Dean said, his tone stern and curt.

"No, they're not," Castiel replied, his own voice equally as sure. "I can't.. blame you, for not knowing this. You're only human. But it's obvious to me."

Sam opened his crossed arms, waiting for the angel to explain himself. Meanwhile, Jack regained his composure after being shocked by Castiel's actions, and made his way over to you, kneeling at your side. You'd been cut in a few different places––nothing too grievous, at least not by Winchester standards––and drops of your blood painted streaks down your sweaty skin.

"They're an Old God," Castiel finally said, but the words were followed by silence.

"We're just supposed to know what that is?" Dean asked gruffly.

"I thought your brother might," he said in a quiet voice.

Dean unfolded his arms, shifting his weight as he cast a glance to his brother.

"Old Gods are... ancient deities created by wandering bands of hunter-gatherers in your past. They got their power from their worshippers, not from Chuck, which... made them very different, to say the least," Castiel continued, still keeping his voice soft as he raised his hand above several of your wounds, stitching the skin back together with his grace.

"I've heard of hunter and gatherers," Jack said as he recalled some of the books in your library. "They wandered in bands of around 50 to 100 people."

He earned several unimpressed stares.

"Well – if they got their power from worshippers, how's this one still alive?" Sam asked after a moment of silence.

"I don't know," Castiel admitted. "I've never met this one before."

"Okay, just because they're not a fae doesn't mean they aren't the one that killed those kids," Dean said, interrupting their short conversation.

The iron knife still twirled in his hands; the only weapon against fairies. Jack kept a close eye on it as they spoke.

"An Old God would never hurt a human," Castiel said with such an intensity that no one had any choice but to believe him. “And besides,” he turned back to you, “they would’ve lost their powers long ago when humans stopped believing in them.”

Your eyes listed open while you lay in Jack's hold, the swirling image of your friend coming lazily into view.

"... Jack?" You mumbled, struggling to keep your eyelids up.

His gaze shot down to you, eyes widening at the sight of your movement.

"Hey," he said softly, hushing you when you tried to speak. "Are you okay?"

You mustered your strength to nod.

"I'm assuming you're an agricultural God," Castiel said after a moment of watching the two of you interact. "You look to be around 12,000 years old." He looked up to Dean and Sam. "That's how old agriculture is."

"Yeah, I know," Sam scoffed, but Dean remained silent.

"Do I really look that old?" You asked, laughing through your slurred words.

"Your soul does," Castiel answered.

You hummed weakly in response, drifting back into unconsciousness, your body going limp in Jack's arms.

Jack healed what remaining injuries you had, using it partway as an excuse to touch you. His palms set flat on the cuts, and with you far off in your dreams, you didn't feel the burn or the relief of his healing. He thought first to bring to his room to lay you on his bed, but Sam gently suggested that you should be put in one of their many spare bedrooms.

Castiel and the Winchesters attempted to take his mind off of you, but it wasn't long before he was back at your side, waiting for you to wake up again. He scanned your body constantly with his mind, searching for any hidden injuries he might've missed the first time around. The case remained unsolved, the children still missing and the culprit unknown. Your disqualifying left the Winchesters with no more suspects, but Jack couldn’t bring himself to worry about a creature that wouldn’t strike again for another ten years when you wouldn’t wake up to his voice calling your name.

It took hours until you stirred again, eyes fluttering into a half-open state as they fell to Jack. He had his head hung low, his elbows leant on his knees, and his hair drooping in front of his face.

"I was created in Turkey," you rasped out through a dry throat.

At the slightest sound his head shot up, eyes widening with a spark upon seeing your soft smile.

"It's a country, by the way," you mumbled, correctly assuming Jack didn't know the country, and only knew the bird. "At a place they call Gobekli Tepe, now. The people of the land would... would gather there, and share their cultured seeds, and the magic needed to make them grow."

"Magic?"

"Simple water and sunlight," you said with a weak chuckle. "It was magic to them. Everything was."

You fell silent before you said, "I miss them."

"Were they different? From people now?" Jack asked.

"Very," you nodded assuredly. "But there are some people, nowadays, that remind me of them."

He chuckled quietly. Warmth spread from your touch when you reached forward, just barely gracing his hand with yours. He took the initiative, entangling your fingers together, and watching intently as your thumb ran over the back of his hand.

"You are a new God, aren't you?" You asked, narrowing your eyes curiously, with no sense of hostility.

"I'm... I'm a nephilim. Lucifer's son, actually, but I promise I'm not like him," he said, gripping you tighter.

"A nephilim?" You asked with a frown.

"The son of an angel," he clarified.

It was the first time he was able to tell you something you didn't know instead of the other way around.

"I've never heard of angels."

His brows raised in surprise.

"Really?" He asked.

"I haven't really kept up with the world as of recent. When did angels first appear?"

"I... don't know," he said after wracking his brain and finding no answer. "Castiel might know."

"Castiel.. Castiel, that was your father, right?"

"Yeah. The good one," he said, earning a chuckle from you that brought a blush to his face.

"He is another God?"

"Another angel, yes," he nodded. "(Y/N), I... I have so many questions for you."

"About what?" You asked skeptically, giving him a playful glare.

"About humans, mostly," he said. "I mean, I've already been asking you questions, but now I know you have a lot more answers than I thought."

"Yes, well, I do keep my memory stored in a mushroom," you muttered beneath your breath.

Jack frowned. Was that normal?

"Can you tell me about them?" He asked, just barely masking his eagerness.

"My people?"

He nodded, and you smiled softly, your eyes glazing over as you recalled thousands of years past.

#jack kline x reader #supernatural #spn #jack kline

[fanmoose12]

catch me if you can

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman

Genres: Mystery / Romance

Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

Chapter 7/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

The city he had chosen to stay in was terrible.

It was noisy, it was crowdy, and the constant heat was making Levi go insane.

And while the city’s loudness and the amount of people in it made it easier for him to blend in, get lost in plain sight and all that bullshit, the heat— the fucking heat, gods, it was killing him.

Levi didn’t like cold weather, despised all the layer of clothes he had to put on just to get to the nearest supermarket and buy instant noodles, he hated the snow with passion he carried since his childhood, he thought that winter was the worst season of them all.

Oh, how wrong he was.

The heat was making his skin crawl. Even in just tank top and shorts, he felt too hot. Drinking cold water, taking cold showers, none of it helped. Levi turned the air conditioning in his room on maximum, but the motel he was staying at was shitty, his room was shitty, and, as a result, the air conditioning was shitty too.

Levi was sick of it. His skin was constantly clammy and sticky, he couldn’t sleep at night, there was never enough air around him, and walking around the city during the daytime made him seriously consider whether he was actually a vampire.

The sun… could it really burn so much? It didn’t used to be so unbearable before.

But apart from that… Levi was starting to accommodate to his new life.

Leaving his hometown behind, he decided to let go of his previous habits too. He got himself a job - not a respectable, but at least an honest one.

Being a janitor in a shitty bar after spending most of his life as a thief was almost… therapeutic.

The vomit on the walls and piss on the floors were enraging him to the point of seeing red and sometimes he wanted to break a leg of every asshole who didn’t know when they had enough and went to make a mess in the toilet, but… working there was therapeutic nevertheless. And a definite improvement too.

At least, his life wasn’t in danger anymore and he didn’t have to run away from police.

Although, he wouldn’t mind running away from a certain police officer. Perhaps, this time he would let her catch him. Perhaps, then his heart would stop clenching in pain every time he thought about Hange.

Perhaps, then he’d be able to let go.

He tried letting go, forgetting about Hange, just as he tried to put behind his life of crime. Unfortunately, putting Hange behind proved to be that much harder.

Some nights, when the heat was especially bad, he felt especially lonely and the shitty whiskey at the shitty bar he was working at didn’t do the trick, he’d snuck a look at how Hange was doing. He’d open his phone, scroll through a news feed. If he’d get lucky, there would a recording of some press conference with Hange at the center of it all.

Apparently, she was doing well. Her shoulder was almost healed, although sometimes she still winced, when gesticulating too frantically. But the paleness in her face that was present when he had visited her at the hospital was long gone, and at the few press conferences that allowed Levi to catch a glimpse of her, Hange’s cheeks were adorned by healthy, rosy blush. Her hair was just as wild, just as messy, and her voice carried the same inspiring conviction.

Whether Hange found out the truth about him or not, he didn’t know, but she had moved past Ackermans’ case and during the time Levi was getting used to his new life she alredy solved two robberies.

She was working on a new case now, something about a young girl who had mysteriously vanished. Levi didn’t bother to find out the details, the name Krista Lenz meant nothing to him, but nevertheless, he wished that Hange would succeed. She deserved that, her quick wit and determination were meant to be recognized and celebrated.

That bright, happy smile on her face, the one she was sporting during the conference that discussed one of the solved robberies, it suited Hange so much. Levi wished she’d wear it more often.

He wished he’d see it more often, but well… some things just weren’t meant to be.

Strangely so, Kenny didn’t contact him even once. No obnoxious phone call, no mysterious messages or weird gifts. There was no sign of him for almost two months, and Levi would have started worrying, would have tried to contact the man himself, if… if Kenny wasn’t Kenny.

His uncle was like a cockroach, Levi was one hundred percent sure that nothing and no one could cause him any harm. And if there was someone who actually could do this, Kenny would have harmed them back, ten times worse.

Still, the thoughts about Kenny lingered at the back of his mind, and memories about Hange did the same irritating thing. It made Levi feel awfully nostalgic sometimes, borderline melancholic. And fairly quickly he found out there was nothing he could do about it. No amount of whiskey or dirty toilets could chase that sadness away. That sadness was a new part of his new life.

Maybe, it was better than always living on the edge.

Luckily, he didn’t feel so lonely all the time, his colleagues at the bar made sure of that.

And while his boss, a bald, gross man called Shadis definitely wasn’t a joy to have around, two others – a barmaid named Sasha and waiter Connie were so much better.

They were annoying in their own right, of course. Sasha had a weird obsession with food, Connie’s sense of humor left much to be desired, and together both of them were so damn loud, but for brats who barely stepped into adulthood, they provided a fairly enjoyable company.

They let Levi take his mind off certain things, and they kept him from falling into the abyss of loneliness and depression.

They also opened up the side of him that Levi wasn’t even aware of.

Connie had once mentioned in a passing that his mother had died years ago, and whatever happened to Sasha’s family, she wasn’t living with them anymore, sharing a small flat with Connie and another guy, Jean.

In Levi’s humble, unbiased opinion, Jean was a self-centered, pompous jerk. He wasn’t working in the bar with his two friends, and instead had involved himself in some shady shit with a local gang, which apparently terrified the whole neighborhood. Levi wanted to tell the boy that he was a fucking idiot, if he thought that messing with criminals was a good idea, but he doubted that Jean would listen. Luckily, Jean wasn’t around too often and visited the bar only, when he was miserable about some girl he had a crush on, or whenever he wished to get drunk for free.

It was a good thing that Levi barely interacted with Jean. The boy was so annoying. And also – too damn tall.

He didn’t hear about any other friends of theirs, and as far as Levi was aware, there was no actual adult watching over Sasha and Connie, so… he kinda, unwillingly, of course, took that task upon himself.

Obviously, he made sure to remain discreet. He didn’t want the brats to know that he cared, because he didn’t, naturally.

He claimed that he simply cooked too much food and the leftovers would go to waste, if he didn’t give them away, when he brought them pasta or soup. He mentioned his insomnia and pretended that long walks helped him sleep better, when Sasha and Connie went home after midnight. He lied about having experience in bartending when Sasha got stomach flu. He said that he was just accidentally passing by their apartment, when later that day he visited to check on her.

The brats were too dense to notice his subtle attempts anyway, or so Levi hoped. They had never brought it up, and that had to mean something, right?

And that time when Connie tried to fix Levi’s air conditioning, or when Sasha brought a whole jar of his favorite tea, or all those evenings when he felt blue and homesick and they helped him clean the bar and took him out to dinner, surely it was nothing more than a coincidence.

The brats had their moments, Levi had to admit, and sometimes their presence was almost pleasant.

But sometimes they made him wish they shut their mouths and never opened them again.

Right now, that desire was more prevalent than ever.

“Say, Mister Levi,” Levi hated when they called him that, it made him sound even older than he actually was. He told them to stop it, many times. But the brats didn’t care. He slowly raised his eyes to show that he was listening. As soon as he did, Sasha put a fist underneath her chin, forgetting about the important task of cleaning the glasses to stare at him curiously. “Do you have someone?”

“Someone?” he had an inkling of what Sasha was asking him about, but he didn’t wish to discuss that with the damned brats. He didn’t wish to discuss that topic with no one, ever. Because… there was nothing to discuss.

“Yep, someone!” Connie chimed in. “Like, hm, a significant other?”

“A beloved!” Sasha agreed, nodding enthusiastically.

Levi felt the migraine coming. “I don’t have any kind of someone,” he gritted. “And I never did.”

“Really?” Sasha tilted her head to the side, looking so skeptical that Levi was ready to get offended. Was he not convincing enough? “I thought you do. It’s just that sometimes—”

“When you think no one is looking!” Connie swiftly added.

“Your face seems so much softer, and your scowl almost disappears, and you look—”

“Just like Jean when he thinks about Mikasa.”

Who the fuck was Mikasa? And what face was Jean making? Levi couldn’t be making the same one, could he?

“But if you say there is no one,” Sasha sighed, returning to her task of cleaning glasses. Wearing the same sad face as she did, Connie went back to gathering dishes from the tables. “Then I guess we’re wrong.”

Damn right, they were. There was no one, and whatever face they thought he was making, it couldn’t possibly be related to a certain police officer from the other side of the world.

“And if there is no one you have to think about,” Sasha winked, like she was seeing right through him. “Then let me make you a drink. It’s a new recipe I found, it involves tequila, vodka and—”

Levi raised a hand to cut her off. “Just surprise me.”

Sasha nodded and went to work. She frequently let Levi taste her new cocktails. He was the perfect man for it – he didn’t get drunk too fast, and he was the only Sasha’s friend who tasted something better than cheap whiskey or a beer from a local supermarket. He also never shied away from telling her when the drink was fucking awful.

Sasha hummed as she mixed the drink, some song Levi vaguely recognized from the radio. She was smiling too, she did that frequently, and something about her, be it the ponytail that jumped up and down when she was excited, or her easy-going, cheerful personality reminded him of Hange.

These days, lots of things reminded him about Hange. There were days when almost everything reminded him of Hange. It seemed like today was exactly a day like that.

“You’re making that same face again,” Sasha whispered, as she handed him the drink.

Levi scowled, glaring at the girl, as he put the glass up to his lips. He finished it in one go. “It tastes like shit,” he told her. “Put it on the menu.”

Sasha beamed, refilling his glass. “Knew you’d like it.”

“By the way, boss,” Levi wasn’t their boss, as far as he was aware, their actual boss was getting drunk in his office, all the while mumbling incomprehensible gibberish about some Carla. But Levi had to admit, being called boss was so much better than the godforsaken mister Levi. "Are you free tonight?"

Levi was free every day and every night, when he wasn’t working in the bar with Connie and Sasha. It wasn’t like he had any friends or even acquaintances beside two brats. However, saying it out loud would make him look even more pathetic that he actually was. So Levi shrugged, and said, as nonchalantly as possible, “Depends.”

“Would you like to come over for dinner?” Connie asked, looking at him with a smile so hopeful that Levi was ready to say yes right that instant. God, they already had him wrapped around their fingers. How embarrassing. At least, Kenny wasn’t here to witness it. He’d have a laugh of his life, if he found that Levi was adopted by two teenagers. “Jean is away on a trip, so we’d be glad to have some company.”

“He went to see his family?”

From the way Sasha bit her lip and Connie refused to meet his eye, Levi knew – their friend didn’t go on a simple trip. He sighed, taking a sip from his glass and letting the bitter liquid burn his throat. Admittedly, it was none of his business. He shouldn’t care about it, he wasn’t their father, for god’s sake. But… a friendly piece of advice wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Your friend plays with fire. And if he continues doing so—”

“Jean knows what he is doing,” Connie crossed hands on his chest defensively. “He is smart.”

Levi couldn’t help but scoff. “Just being smart is not enough. There will always be someone smarter.”

“Jean knows what he is doing,” Connie repeated stubbornly. “He’ll be fine.”

Maybe, he will, maybe, he won’t. At the end of the day, Levi had no say about it. He might call them brats, but they were already adults. They were allowed to do as they wished. They were bound to make some mistakes.

“Tell him to be more careful. Otherwise, you’ll suffer too.”

Levi left it at that, not wanting to antagonize Sasha and Connie any further. Besides, it was time to open the bar, or the drunkards all across the block would start banging on their doors. Worse than that, Shadis might come out of his office too. His sour face was the last thing Levi wished to see.

“Let’s get to work,” he nodded to the kids, and took his drink to the dark corner of the room, where he usually spend his shifts, waiting until the patrons start making a mess he’d have to clean.

Surprisingly, the evening came and went, but there was no mess for him to deal with. No one vomited, no one shitted all over the toilets. No one spilled their beer on the floor, or even a table. Were their patrons starting to learn how act like people, and not pigs? Or were they so well-behaved because it was just the beginning of a week? Or did the heat finally get to them and turn them just as slow and tired as Levi himself felt?

However, the weather was more merciful that day. The temperature was still high, too high for Levi’s taste, but just after the sunset the wind was starting to pick up, the storm slowly brewing. During the smoke break outside the bar, Levi could see the lightening, illuminating the far edge of the sky. The rain was in the air, and he allowed his lips to curl up in a pleased smile. Perhaps, he’d finally be able to sleep through the whole night and not toss and turn, feeling like the bed turned into a scorching pan.

When he went back inside, the bar was almost empty, just a few regulars left, nursing their half-finished drinks.

“Do you want to have pizza or sushi?” Sasha asked, as he started sweeping the floor. “We can order both if you wish.”

Levi rolled his eyes with a disgusted tsk. “Eating so much takeout is unhealthy. Let’s finish here and go to supermarket. I’ll cook you something decent.”

Connie yelled a loud yahoo, while Sasha squeezed him in a suffocating hug. The heartwarming moment was cut short, when the door to the bar was thrown open with a loud bang.

It let inside the gush of wind and drops of freezing rain. With a broom still in his hands, Levi turned sharply to the door, ready to rip the unlucky drunkard a new one, the bar had closed almost an hour ago, the sign was right there for everyone to see.

All harsh words died on the way between his throat and his tongue. Levi froze on the spot, and in the silence that followed the lightning strike was as sudden as a gunshot.

Sasha’s distressed cry and Connie’s shocked sob put him out of the stupor.

Throwing the broom away, Levi moved, catching the falling, bloodied boy into his arms.

“Jean!” Sasha was the first one of the two to snap out of it. She ran to Levi, with trembling hands lifting up her friend’s face.

“What the fuck had happened?” Connie kneeled next to them, his eyes wide and scared as he stared at Jean.

Jean looked awful, there was no way around it. His cheeks and jaw were bruised, his right eye was already swollen, and his light brown hair had too much red in it.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked out, too weak and injured to offer something more than a shaking whisper. “I’m sorry, I’ve fucked up, I didn’t know where to run and now they’re coming here, I didn’t mean to do this, I didn’t think, I—”

He could continue that nonessential ramble for the rest of the night. But if they, whoever those they were, were truly coming, Jean and his friends didn’t have that much time. Carefully, Levi lifted Jean’s arm, wincing when he saw that the boy’s shirt was bloodied too, and threw it over Connie’s shoulder. Then he took the key from the back pocket of his shorts and thrusted it into Sasha’s palm.

“Take him to my room in the motel.”

“And you?”

Levi pushed the hair away from his face, already hating himself for his next words. Kenny was right, he cared too much, and it was his biggest weakness, one that would probably get him killed one day. Perhaps, that day had already arrived.

“I’ll stay here and buy you some time.”

“No!” Jean protested, frantically grabbing Levi by the elbow. “It’s my fuck up, you shouldn’t get involved, you don’t know—”

“I do know. And unlike you, I can actually take care of myself.”

Perhaps, he was too harsh, but it was necessary. Jean had fucked up, and whatever he had done, he had to own that mistake and learn from it. That was the only way he would survive through another one of his mistakes.

“Hurry up,” he told Sasha and Connie. “I’ll meet you as soon as I’m finished.”

Thankfully, they didn’t try to argue. Connie wished him luck and Sasha made him promise to come back, and that was it.

As soon as they had left, Levi hopped behind the bar counter to pour himself a shot of whiskey. He lighted up a cigarette, waiting for the front door to swing open and Jean’s persecutors to arrive. Hopefully, they’d do it without guns blazing.

He was just finishing the first glass and was thinking of getting himself a second one, when the mighty kick almost as loud as the thunder outside pushed the door open. Three men tumbled inside a second later, their faces transformed by fury into caricature masks.

“Where is that son of a bitch?” roared one in the middle, their leader, Levi assumed.

Levi was in no hurry to answer. He took the last drag of the cigarette, meticulously put it down against the surface of an ashtray. Then looked at the men in front of him. “The bar is closed. There is no one here but me.”

“Stop fucking with us!” the asshole on the left shouted. “We saw him run inside!”

“If that fucker isn’t here, perhaps we should look around for his friends,” the third man offered. “I know they’re working here.”

So there was no way around it? Levi sighed, walking from beyond the counter. “Just so you know,” approaching the men, he cracked his knuckles. “I don’t condone violence.”

One of the thugs started laughing, the other two immediately followed. Levi didn’t expect any other reaction. The men were burly, large, they definitely weren’t smart.

“What are you going to do to us, midget? Do you seriously think you can beat us up?”

The insult was followed by a punch, a careless, blundering one. Levi effortlessly dodged it, delivering a vicious kick to the stomach of his attacker. The man - who upon the close inspection had yellow teeth and reeked of cheap alcohol – staggered. He caught himself at the last second, holding onto nearest table with white-knuckled desperation. Levi hit again, this time with his knee. With a gasp that turned into a groan, the man fell onto the ground.

Luckily, he stayed there, and Levi turned his attention to the other two.

The one who stood at the left attacked instantly, aiming his enormous fist at Levi’s jaw. There was an unfinished bottle of whiskey on the counter right behind him, and Levi grabbed it, smashing it against the man’s head. The resulting sound was loud, almost deafening. Levi tried to forget about the mess of spilled whiskey on the floor and let himself enjoy that pleasant sound for another moment.

That was a slight miscalculation on his part, because the last man apparently was armed with knife, and he swung it without hesitation. Levi jumped to the side, but wasn’t quick enough. The knife’s edge kissed his cheek, leaving a smear of blood behind it. A mere second later, the knife was in the air once again. Levi was ready for it this time, but as he prepared to take a swift step back, his ankle refused to budge. He looked down to see that one of the defeated men was back in the game, still laying on a floor, but holding Levi in one place. Levi quickly dealt with him, using another leg to kick the man’s head. It took him no more than a moment, but it was enough for him to lose sight of his last attacker. Whatever plan of retaliation Levi had, he lost it, when the knife embedded in his forearm, making him hiss and cuss. Irritated, he roughly grabbed the hand that held the knife, twisting the arm at the wrist.

There was a loud crack, then the even louder scream.

Not too elegant, but, at least, it did the job.

Yanking the knife out of his arm, Levi threw it away, allowing it to clutter on the ground.

“Get the fuck out of here!” he snarled at the men, who weren’t laughing anymore. On the contrary, their faces were panicked, frightened. They pathetically scrambled to their feet, pushing each other to get outside as fast as possible. “And don’t come back!” Levi shouted to their backs.

When the door fell closed, Levi slumped back against the counter. The spot on his cheek was tingling unpleasantly, his arm was hurting like a bitch, and the whole bar had turned into a mess – the shards of glass and spilled whiskey were all over the floor. The blood from his arm was creating a small puddle too.

Levi viciously cursed and grabbed a towel, making a make-shift bandage. It had to do for the time being.

One mess was dealt with, and now another was awaiting him. He’d be lucky if the dirty floor would be the biggest of his troubles tonight.

But somehow, Levi knew that it was just the beginning.

***

Levi never considered himself to be a philosophic kind of person, he never pondered on the meaning of things, never felt the desire to look at the problem at hand from all possible angles, never reflected on his feelings and emotions.

He did however notice that the small room he had rented in a shitty motel at the edge of the city never felt to him like home. It was a place to live, it had a bed to sleep, it held some of his belongings, but it wasn’t a home, it didn’t provoke in him the feeling of belonging that he found inside the walls of his and Kenny’s old apartment.

He spent a little more than two months, living in that shithole, and never once he thought – I’m home, never once he felt – I belong right here.

But something very similar was blooming in his chest, when he passed the threshold of his shitty motel room and fell right into the arms of Connie and Sasha.

Sasha started cleaning his wounds right away, while Connie rushed to get the new bandages for his bloodied arm.

“You should have been more careful,” Sasha chided, and, fuck, he really got adopted by a couple of kids just like that.

“We could have dealt with this ourselves,” Connie said, and then, after a little pause, added, “Probably.”

Levi hummed and resisted the urge to ruffle the hair on their heads. He didn’t have that much affection for the little shits. Probably.

Just as they finished, Jean appeared, unsteadily walking out of the bathroom. He stopped not long after, leaning against the doorframe. Patched up and cleaned, he still didn’t look like his usual, confident and complacent self. Now he reminded Levi of a puppy who was thoroughly and viciously kicked. His hair was now clean of blood, but the shirt was still covered in red patches. Levi would have offered him one of his own t-shirts, but… on Jean’s lanky body it’d look more like a crop top. Or a child’s shirt.

“I’m sorry,” Jean murmured, not meeting Levi’s eyes. “I didn’t know it’d lead to this.”

Yeah, they almost never know. Levi sighed, there was no point in scolding boy any further. He had realized his fuck up already, his buddies from the gang made sure of that.

“What the hell happened?” Levi asked, his back turned to Jean, as he went to prepare the tea for all of them. It would help to soothe some of Jean’s injuries, and it would also help to relieve Levi of the building tension in his shoulders.

“I… wasn’t quite ready for this life, I guess,” Jean sat down on a bed, covering his face with hands. “There is a guy I’ve been working with, he stole some drugs he was supposed to sell, and other gang members found out and decided to punish him, make an example out of him, but that guy… he was my friend, sort of? We hanged out a lot, and I just couldn’t see him get hurt like that…”

“Oh my god!” Sasha’s hands flew to her face and her mouth opened wide. “Did you get beat up because you tried to protect Marco?”

Connie snorted. “I see you’re getting over Mikasa pretty quickly.”

Behind his hands, Jean’s face started to gain color. “I just helped a guy out.”

“And didn’t even ask for a kiss after the heroic rescue?” Sasha teased.

“There wasn’t much time for kisses after the whole gang started running after us.”

“You poor thing,” Connie patted Jean’s head, sharing a mischievous look with Sasha. “Didn’t even get a kiss for all the trouble.”

The two boys started to bicker, and Levi watched the scene, feeling the pounding inside his head increase. It’d be a long, long night. The one he’d have to spend sleeping on a floor, because there were three brats in his room and only one queen-sized bed.

He raised a hand, putting a stop to the argument that was starting to raise in volume.

“Is the other guy alright?” he asked Jean, as he handed him a cup, filled with steaming tea.

Jean accepted the drink with a grateful nod, but didn’t answer the question right away, staring inside the cup thoughtfully. “He managed to get out of the city. The assholes that beat me up caught me just after he got on a bus.”

Well, that was certainly good news. The only one they received since the beginning of this evening.

“You have to run away too, preferably for quite some time. Those guys won’t forget about you so easily. Do you have a place where you can hide?”

“Well…” frowning, Jean rubbed his neck, “My parents have a summer house…”

“Excellent, does anyone know about it?”

“No, not even these idiots,” Jean answered, pointing at Sasha and Connie.

“Then take these idiots, because your gangster pals know, where all of you live and work,” Levi grumbled. “And get out of here first thing in the morning. Spend a few months in the countryside, wait until this shitty storm is over.”

“And what about you? Now they know about you too.”

What about him… good question. And a very easy one to answer. He’d have to change cities again, luckily, he already had some experience with that. Sure, it was an inconvenience, but… better than live his life and have to constantly look over his shoulder, or die in some dirty alleyway. Perhaps, he’d be able to return some day, when the tensions were long over.

“I’ll leave the city,” he told them. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“You had to run away before?” Connie asked, awe written all over his face. “So cool!”

“And you beat up all these guys for us!” Sasha agreed, adoration shining in her gaze.

“You aren’t just a janitor, eh?” Jean stared at him with narrowed eyes.

Levi saved from answering by a loud shrill of the phone.

Everyone in the room tensed, Levi felt his heart pounding inside his chest, a relentless boom, boom, boom. He wet his lips, his throat suddenly too dry, and stood up.

“No!” Jean grabbed his arm, stopping Levi from picking up the phone. Levi understood his panic, it was the middle of the night, who in their right mind would call him at this time? Who would call him period, all the people Levi knew in this city were sitting next to him. Unless, it was Shadis who got out of his drunken stupor and decided to have a friendly chat with a janitor from his bar?

And if it wasn’t Shadis, then…

Acutely feeling his every heartbeat, Levi pulled his arm out of Jean’s grasp. Swallowing that persisting lump inside his throat down, he put his hand on a phone handle. Slowly, holding in his breath, he lifted the phone and put it to his ear.

“Is your name even Levi? Or was that another lie, you asshole?”

That voice. Her voice. Levi helplessly fell back in the armchair behind him.

“H-hange?” the crack in his voice was heard and analyzed by a bunch of kids, who now all stood beside him. Levi waved them away, drowning out the intrigued murmuring, and focused on a person on the other side of the line.

“You still remember my name, I’m flattered, Ackerman,” ah, so she found out. Not surprising in the slightest, but disappointing nevertheless. But how did she find out? And when? And why she was calling now? And how she managed to obtain the number of a motel he was staying at? So many questions, Levi wanted to ask them all at once. He didn’t even know where to start. “And just a piece of friendly advice, next time you go into hiding, don’t go around asking police officers on a date.”

Well, that was one question answered. Only one hundred remained.

“Are you going to arrest me now?”

“No, unfortunately,” Hange bitterly replied. “I need you, Ackerman. For work,” she added, before Levi could get any ideas and just before his heart started racing like crazy. “Take the first flight back to city, if you don’t want me to drag you out of there by force. I’ll be waiting for you in the airport.”

Hange was going to end the call, Levi could practically see her finger hover over the button. Before she did, he cried out, “Wait!” and then, much more calmly he added, “What do you need me for?”

“Your uncle went missing. I need you to help me find him.”

The line went dead immediately after that. It took Levi another moment to pull himself together.

Kenny was… missing? Kenny, his ruthless, unstoppable uncle? And Hange was looking for him? Too much was unknown, too much was unclear, too much was yet to be explained.

One thing for sure, he wouldn’t find the answers here. Well, one problem was solved then, he didn’t have to change cities anymore. He’d just have to return home.

“So.”

Just a short word, but so much meaning was put in it. With a feeling of dread, Levi turned to face Sasha. He shuddered at the sight of her wide, shit-eating smile.

“Hange, hm?” she asked, twirling a lock of hair.

“Hange is your someone, right?” Connie excitedly exclaimed. “Your Mikasa?”

“Hange is his Marco,” Sasha corrected, earning a vicious curse and a middle finger from Jean. “I guess it’s all over with Mikasa.”

It was all over with Hange too. There was nothing with Hange to begin with. And there would be nothing, because apparently she hated him now. For a good reason too.

Fuck. Kenny, Hange, the brats, they all caused Levi a massive headache. And there was no running away from it, they’d find him whenever he ran.

Perhaps, it meant that he had to stop running. And come back home.

“Let’s go to sleep,” he told the kids. “A long journey is ahead of you. And ahead of me too.”

“You’re leaving? To your Hange?”

“Hange is not my someone, I’m just leaving,” Levi grunted, turning off the light. “Go to sleep before I knock you all out.”

Thankfully, they listened and got on a bed without a word of complain.

“It’s good that your Hange found you,” Sasha mumbled, already sleepy. “Maybe, now you won’t be so sad anymore.”

Sasha seemed to fall asleep immediately after, not waiting for Levi’s answer. Or, perhaps, she wasn’t interested in it.

Soon Connie was out as well, and even Jean, after a few of tosses, turns and more than a dozen pained groans managed to settle in comfortably and fall into deep slumber.

Levi didn’t get so lucky, the thoughts about what tomorrow would bring swirling in his mind and keeping him awake.

But, well… at least his melancholy and homesickness wouldn’t be a problem anymore. After two months of being away, he was going home at last.

Strangely, the prospect didn’t seem that thrilling.

#remember when i said that sasha and connie are my literal favorites? yeah it's a chapter dedicated to that #levihan

[bxngchxn]

friends don’t || h.jisung

This is a re-upload from my old blog, @ethereal-bang ! I’ll be uploading most if not all of my old works every once in awhile. Hope you like it!

Characters: Jisung x female reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Type: Friends to Lovers, fluff, smut, college!jisung

Warnings: unprotected sex (always use a condom!), oral (female receiving)

This is intended for mature audiences. Do not read if you are under the age of 18.

Y/N: hey sungie i have to make a run to the grocery store, do you want to go with me?

Jisung: well i was supposed to meet up with Changbin

Y/N: oh, okay, that’s fine then

Jisung: you didn’t let me finish

Jisung: he can wait, did you want me to head over now?

Y/N: yeah, that’s fine. I’ll see you soon!

Jisung: be there in 10 :)

You put your phone into your pocket and smile. One of your favorite things to do was run errands with Jisung. Whether they were yours or his, just spending quality time with your best friend was the way you relaxed. You’d been doing this ever since the two of you moved to off campus apartments your second year of college. What started as him going grocery shopping with you because you needed someone to carry in the heavy essentials, turned into something you did at least once every two weeks. The ride to the store is always short but filled with laughs and conversation.

Jisung’s presence, to put it as simply as possible, puts you at peace. No matter what is happening around the two of you, the feeling of being near him gives you the feeling of just waking up; still sleepy, but like the comfortable feeling that settles in your chest when you’re finally coherent enough to feel the softness of your bed.

It’s always been like this, ever since the two of you met. Shy smiles exchanged in lecture turned into study sessions in the library, and before you knew it, you were thrown into a new group of friends with the surprisingly noisy boy from your chem class. Always down for a crazy adventure, Jisung had pushed you to try things you normally wouldn’t, and you were grateful for all of the experiences.

You came to notice, though, that there was something bubbling in your chest every time Jisung would get a little too close at a party, the two of you a little drunk. Like that one time, the two of you giggling at an absolutely hammered Seungmin who is trying to beat someone at a b-boying competition in a bar somewhere downtown. The smell of his cologne and the heat of his body so close to you that you lose all track of thought. When a hand on your waist that leads you through a crowded room, just making sure he doesn’t lose you sends fireworks up your chest.

You know that this is something that just friends don’t do, something that just friends don’t feel. The scary part was that you weren’t sure if you were just imagining things, or if there was actually something there.

Jisung insists on riding in the cart while you push it through the store, and though you complain about how heavy he is, you do it with a smile on your face the entire time. You opt for piling your groceries on top of him instead, hoping that the weight of the bag of apples you put on his stomach urges him to get out of the cart and actually help you.

And eventually he does, after some complaining that you buy too many heavy things. Jisung helps you carry all of it regardless.

Jisung is absolutely whipped for you. Pretty much anyone can see it, and when he first gets teased about it by Seungmin, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Thinks that, you know, everyone spends as much time as they can with their best friend. It’s normal for the two of you to plan future vacations, future holidays together, right? Right?

It hits him late one night that maybe his feelings are more complex than he thought. You had called him, at 2 in the morning, unable to fall asleep. “I just wanted to say hi, and hear your voice I guess,” you tell him, and his heart melts. Your voice is soft, and sounds like you really could fall asleep any second. It makes Jisung smile, and while he’s talking about how his day is going, and the songs he’s been working on with Chan and Changbin, he can hear your breathing even out on the other end.

Quietly saying your name, he confirms that you’re asleep when you don’t answer him. He feels that familiar feeling creep up, the one he gets when he’s always with you, and thinks to himself: Is this what being in love with someone feels like? The feeling is so soft and familiar that he really hadn’t realized it all those times before. Maybe the guys were right, and you two definitely weren’t just friends. Or at least that was what he wanted to believe.

Everything comes to a stop when the two of you attend a house party together. The music is loud and fast, and Jisung can’t help but let his eyes roam over your body as you dance with a girl from your history class. The smile on your face is the brightest he’s ever seen, and it makes him feel a little dizzy, more than the small amount of alcohol he’s had tonight ever could. When the song changes, and the beat turns sensual, Jisung decides that he’s had enough of beating around the bush. He was going to tell you just how he felt about you, and he’s praying that it’s reciprocated.

Jisung walks up to you, cool and confident with his red solo cup in his hand. You look up at him, and blush when his hand lands on your waist. “My turn for a dance.” he says, and you oblige. To your surprise, Jisung turns you around and his grip on you tightens.

“Jisung, what are you doing?” you giggle when he leans down to answer you, his breath tickling the skin below your ear. “What do you think I’m doing?” he asks. His hips start to move against yours, on beat with the music. The hand that’s holding his drink takes one of yours, resting it on the hand on your hip. He feels warm, and the feeling of him behind you makes you feel small in the best way possible.

His lips trail down to your neck, and you almost moan at the feeling. “You can’t tell me,” he begins, kissing your neck softly between every word spoken, “that you don’t feel whatever this is between us,”

He gets a little more confident when you turn to look at him, and in an instant his lips are on yours. It’s soft, but full of need. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back, fully turning around in his hold and letting your hands rest on his shoulders. You have to tiptoe a little too reach his lips, and the realization makes Jisung laugh.

When you pull away, you look at him. Lips swollen, hair a little messed up at the nape where you decided to thread your fingers through it. You felt fireworks go off when you looked into his eyes. You were right, the two of you definitely weren’t just friends.

“Let’s head home, yeah?” you ask him, and you’ve never seen him move so fast. Taking your hand, he leads you through the crowd. You say your goodbyes to whoever you can find, most of the guys off somewhere in the party. The two of you miss the look Seungmin gives to Jeongin at the sight of your hands intertwined, and Jeongin groans as he pulls $5 out of his wallet.

_____________________________

By the time Jisung leads you into your own apartment, the excitement has built up so much that you feel like you could burst. Pushing you up against the door once inside, Jisung can’t keep his hands off of you. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hold you like this..” He says as he presses another hot kiss to your lips. You make a move to lift his shirt, and he lets you. You’ve seen Jisung shirtless a hundred times, but looking at him like this, you were absolutely sure that there was nowhere you wanted to be more right now, than underneath him.

You’re surprised at your own boldness as you push him towards the direction of your bedroom. He gets the hint and grabs your thighs. “Jump,” he says, and you comply. He lifts you up and carries you through the apartment, hands roaming your thighs and your ass as he tries to navigate the apartment with your lips on his neck.

Setting you on the bed softly, Jisung is immediately on top of you. His hands are all over you, trying to get you out of your clothes as fast as possible. Once your shirt is off and your skirt is pushed up, he fumbles with the zipper in the back and groans when notices the matching lavender set you’re wearing. Purple was never his favorite color until this exact moment.

The feeling of his hands on you, warm and safe and protective, sets a fire in you that had been long overdue. You arch your back when his hands move to your breasts, fingers roaming over the fabric and looking up at you for approval. You nod your head and he takes the piece of clothing off. His lips attach to your nipple and you have to hold in a whimper at the sensation.

“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, I swear on my life,” he mutters, and your cheeks blush at such a soft compliment in such an intimate setting. Your mind is already going hazy, the soft touches he’s giving you are good but nowhere near enough.

“Jisung please..please touch me,” you ask. He looks you in the eyes and grins, slowly making his way down your body. “I thought you would never ask,” he says as he licks a long line up your slit. Your hands fly to his hair, feeling the soft tresses in your fingers as he takes you somewhere you’ve never been before. “God, Jisung s-so good,” you say in between moans. It spurs him on, enough to insert a finger into your core. The added friction makes the knot in your stomach tighten, and before you know it, you’re desperately begging Jisung to make you cum.

He adds another finger and his lips find your clit, sucking on it as if his life depended on it. His fingers hit a spot inside of you that makes your vision go white, and the only thing you can think to say is his name as your first orgasm rushes over you. Once he’s made sure that you’ve ridden out your high, he takes his fingers out and puts them in his own mouth, licking them clean.

Jisung comes back up and kisses you harshly, full of passion and lust. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and the sensation makes you moan into his mouth. You pull on the belt of his jeans, realizing he hasn’t taken them off yet.

Pushing him onto the bed, you climb on top of him and help him with his jeans. The sight of you on top of Jisung has him unbelievably hard, and he’s sure he’s in heaven when your hands make contact with his cock. Putting your hands on his chest, you watch as Jisung helps you align his cock with your entrance. You sink down on him slowly, the both of you moaning out loud at the feeling. He stretched you in just the right ways, and you can’t help but think that this is the way it’s always supposed to be. The two of you, together.

“Fuck, I love you,” you say without thinking, and Jisung pauses. The look in his eyes is definite: Absolutely sure and absolutely in love. He pulls you down and holds you close as he begins to move inside of you. His lips find your neck, whispering sweet nothings against you as his pace begins to pick up.

Before you know it, Jisung is fucking up into you at a wild pace, a clear contrast to the praises he’s saying in his ear. “Fuck, you feel so good around me baby.. You were made for me. I love you so much.” He says, and that’s enough to feel the coil tighten in you for the second time. You push your lips against his, effectively swallowing every noise you make as you reach your high. Jisung is moving even faster, if possible, and the grip he has on your waist is so strong you’re sure it’s going to leave bruises in the morning. The only thing you can think of is the way Jisung is saying your name, desperate and wanton.

The sensitivity from your second orgasm has you clenching around Jisung, and that’s when he loses it. One hand moves to the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulls you into a kiss filled with every emotion he ever needed to feel. You feel him fill you up and sigh, warm and content.

The two of you stay there for a moment; relishing in the way you feel wrapped around each other. You roll off of Jisung to lay beside him on the bed, and his arm wraps around your waist, not wanting to be away from you for even a moment. You giggle at how messy his hair looks and take a piece of it between your fingers.

“You know, I meant every word I said to you,” he says softly as he looks into your eyes. “I know you did. And I love you. I love you so much, Han Jisung,” you say. He sighs almost in relief, and he can confirm that this moment, right here, is the happiest that he’s ever felt. After years of all the unspoken words, ghosting touches and what ifs, you were finally his. “I love you too. More than anything.” he says as he pulls you close.

Jisung’s presence, to put it as simply as possible, puts you at peace. No matter what is happening around the two of you, the feeling of being near him gives you the feeling of just waking up; still sleepy, but like the comfortable feeling that settles in your chest when you’re finally coherent enough to feel the softness of your bed. And that next morning, when you do wake up and see Jisung laying next to you, the feeling is magnified by tens of thousands. The way the sun is catching on his face makes him glow, and when he pulls you into him with the promise of “5 more minutes,” you don’t refuse.

#my writing #stray kids scenarios #stray kids smut #han jisung smut #jisungie

[let-them-read-fics]

Ghostin'

Requested By @heyziggy: "Song prompt -- 'Ghostin' by Ariana Grande. Reader is dating Rosé and misses her lost lover."

Pairing: Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 3,676

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Death, Crying, Some Cursing, Some Fluff, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Did I write this between the hours of 1 and 8am? Yes, yes I did. Inspiration struck and I was able to crank this one out pretty quickly for you! I'm happy with it, and I really hope you guys enjoy it. Let me know what you think :)

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

There they are again. Those eyes that have haunted you for the past year, turning what little progress you've made to dust within a second. People say time heals all wounds, and yet that's never felt further from the truth than it does right now.

A rough tremble wracks through your body as you toss and turn, your limbs reaching out for someone that'll never be there again. She's calling out to you, her arms outstretched as she waits in vain. Your feet are rooted in their spot and no amount of effort possible can make them budge. Tears roll endlessly down your cheeks, a steady stream that feels all too real in the moment. As you scream out her name, you faintly hear your own being called; it's distant, but accompanied by a strong grip on your shoulders. 

"...Y/N." 

Upon jolting awake, your eyes open to find Rosé hovering over you, propping herself up on her elbow. A thin sheet of sweat has formed on your skin, and you attempt to ground yourself by looking up at her. Slowly but surely, her features overtake the ones still burning in your mind from the dream and you're able to breathe again. She brings a hand up to your cheek, brushing her cool fingers against it lovingly. 

Despite the darkness, you can see the bags underneath her beautiful eyes. "I'm sorry, baby." 

She simply shakes her head in response, whispering, "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here to take care of you." 

In one motion, you pull her into your arms and bury your face in her neck. This isn't the first time this has happened, and you curse yourself for forcing her to grow accustomed to it. She tries to disguise how much it affects her too, but her efforts are always futile; you can read her like a book, knowing that every time that name falls from your lips in a hushed shout, her heart breaks a little more. She doesn't blame you for a second, but neither of you can deny the strain it puts on your relationship. 

She adjusts the two of you so that you're laying against her as she soothingly rubs your back. Sweet words of affirmation are whispered into your ear, and the tears you've been holding back soon begin to fall. Some drop from her eyes as well, but she takes comfort in the fact that you're in her arms, allowing her to hold you. Most of the time you push her away, leaving yourself to suffer alone in some cruel form of self-punishment. But now, if only for tonight, you let yourself sink into her warm embrace.

----

1 Week Later -- The Anniversary

12 months ago, today. That's when your world shattered for the first time and everything fell apart. Your heart had been free of such pain until that fateful day, innocent and unaware that sadness like that even existed. That was the first time you ever truly questioned a higher power, baffled that any 'benevolent ruler' could steal such a bright light away from the world. Your first love -- the girl you once imagined spending forever with -- was killed in a hit and run, left to die alone on the pavement. 

A majority of your youth belonged to her: the two of you grew up together, slowly falling until you had enough courage to make her yours. Countless memories were made, back when you had no idea how much they'd mean to you in the future. Life was fun with her: she made the mundane things interesting, and the adventures unforgettable. She was unashamedly herself, never stopping for a moment to give a damn about what anybody else thought of her. The two of you had each other, and that's all that really mattered. She was everything to you.

She was. 

You still find her in the little things. Whether it be a commercial for her favorite cereal, a bottle of her signature perfume catching your eye as you shop, or even just a flash of her favorite color, you swear that she's still around. After spending so many years with her, it's nearly impossible to imagine her gone. She was so full of life and enthusiasm when her presence still graced the Earth that the thought of her being faded, that twinkle in her eye forever extinguished, seems like an insult to her legacy. 

How are you supposed to move on from something like that? Rosé has been one of the only things keeping your head above water ever since she walked into your life, but a limit exists to what even she is capable of. After getting absolutely no closure, not even being able to see the perpetrator brought to justice, you're left to pick up the pieces. You've always been the type to deal with things on your own, finding it selfish to bring your loved ones down with the weight of your pain, but even you have to draw the line somewhere. 

Perhaps that dream had been a sign -- some type of cosmic warning for what was soon to come -- because that line was crossed today. 

Her family requested for you to return to your home town and celebrate her life with them. The invitation was extended to everyone she had touched before her life was taken, and even those who wished to show their support despite not having the privilege of knowing her personally. You agreed, and spent the day surrounded by people just as sad as you.

It was strange, at first; being back in the place you had so desperately tried to run from to escape the reality of what happened. But seeing all of them again reopened wounds that had never really gotten the chance to heal in the first place. Her parents' faces, so tired and troubled beneath the mask they attempted to put on, struck a chord within you. Her brother tried to be strong for them, you could tell -- but upon hearing his stifled sobs coming from upstairs, you could see how much it all still affected him. Your old friends were there as well, and their stories of your shared escapades only broke your heart more. It was a physical pain now, the once dull pinch giving way to a full blown ache. As you walked around her house, replaying all of your experiences with her, you felt empty again. 

She meant so much to everyone she ever uttered a word to, and yet she was gone in the blink of an eye. You'd think that someone as incredible as her would get some sort of divine protection, if you will -- a blanket of defense against such a cruel fate. But life works in ways we don't understand, and we have to find a way to deal with that. You'd hoped returning here would help you on that quest, but you've come to learn that no one really has access to that elusive answer. 

Though the day brought on the reunion of so many of you, it ended just as it had started: none of you any closer to closure. It would take time, no doubt, but you wished more than anything that the road to peace was a little shorter. 

-----

Rosé

Sweet, incredible Rosé. She waltzed into your life two months after the incident. A breath of fresh air in every way, she brought light back into your life. She refused to stand by and watch as you slowly destroyed yourself, letting the walls crash down around you. She made everything secure again, successfully keeping you sane and grounded. 

Falling in love with her was never something you saw coming. The emotions took their time in building up, every considerate thing she did for you adding to your list of reasons for loving her. It all accumulated until you couldn't hide it anymore, and even she could tell that she was getting through to you. Your fragile heart seemed to forget about its brokenness, because it soared at the mere sight of her. 

The day she asked you to be her girlfriend was an emotional one, to say the least. You accepted without hesitation, but a nagging voice in the back of your mind suggested that being with Rosie was a treasonous act. Trying to move on felt wrong; your confused heart sent mixed signals, thinking it possible to wait for your ex's return. 

But Rosie dealt with it perfectly -- better than you could have ever wished for. Not one time did she try to take your ex's place; she always respected your process and boundaries, and she never drew comparisons between your relationships. Rosé knew from the get-go that times would get rough, but she never shied away. Arguments happened, as they do with any couple, but she watched her tone and always took time to think before she spoke. 

Constantly, she worked to get you to let her in. Sometimes -- rarely -- she succeeded. On the nights that you found yourself crying over her again, your heart aching like usual, Rosie was always next to you in an instant. She hated seeing you so distant and hard on yourself, and she vowed from the beginning that she would be a positive influence in your life. 

------

The Birthday

2 weeks ago, Rosé had requested today off in order to be by your side. Your ex's birthday is today, and Rosé knows you'll need her more than you're willing to admit. 

"Baby, wake up. Let's get some breakfast." 

She rolls over to wake you with a kiss, only to find you already sitting up with tears in your eyes. She reaches up to wipe them away, but you dodge her hand before she can. That's what she can't stand. Having you push her away, effectively keeping her at arm's length, hurts her so much more than you know.

Although she's talented at reading you, truth be told Rosé has absolutely no idea how today will go. You've yet to experience a day like today -- your ex's birthday -- without her here, and even you don't know what'll happen. Your mood is capable of changing in a whipstitch, so you'll have to see how the day plays out.

"Y/N, please." Her eyes are pleading as you look at her again, and they rake over your sad features. Your bottom lip trembles as more tears threaten to overflow, and you sink your teeth into it to quiet yourself. Wordlessly, you do as she asks: you press your forehead against hers and let out a broken sigh as she strokes your arm. Her touch is comforting beyond belief, and you can't help but feel like you don't deserve it. Constantly putting her through the same shit makes you feel like a terrible person. 

"You're too good to me." 

She goes to shush you like always, but you don't drop it this time. 

You gently scoot away from her, meeting her eyes as she mimics your actions and raises her head. 

"I can see that it gets to you, Rose. I hate myself for hurting you… I just keep letting you down."

She's prepared to ease your fears from the start, not willing to get into an argument right now. "Stop, okay? I knew what I was signing up for when we started dating. I'm a big girl, Y/N. I can decide when I want to stay and when I want to go. I knew from the beginning that we would have these struggles, and none of it has made me change my mind about you."

Her words make your heart flutter, but you still have plenty on your mind to discuss with her.

"You deserve someone without so much baggage. I can't pretend like I'm not still affected by it."

"When have I ever asked you to do that?" She cocks her head to the side, quirking an eyebrow as she waits for you to respond. 

"You don't have to, babe. Seeing what it does to you is confirmation enough." You shrug lightly, allowing your eyes to break away from hers for a moment as you gather up what other words you want to say.

"You'll never admit it, not to the full extent, anyway, but I know I'm hurting you. That's the last thing I want; you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy." 

"Jagi, do you really think our relationship makes me unhappy? I'll admit that this isn't always easy, but no relationship is, and never once have I even thought of leaving. You seem to forget about yourself in all of this; your happiness is just as important as mine."

She chooses to ignore the self-deprecating scoff you let out at her last sentence, opting to just continue with her train of thought; convincing you to value yourself is a battle for another day.

"So please, let me in. I want us to get through this." 

"I do too, baby. So so much. I just can't help but think you could find someone better. I'm a fucking charity case at this point." You drop your head now, avoiding eye contact at all costs. You know she'll be upset with you for thinking so lowly of yourself, but her disappointment almost certainly pales in comparison to the contempt you hold for yourself.

With a heavy, tired sigh, Rosé hooks two fingers underneath your chin and gently lifts your head. "Y/N, look at me. I don't know how to make it any clearer to you: you are the person I want to be with. I want you in my future, and in order to make that happen I'm more than willing to help you deal with your past. I know it's not simple; I know it's never going to be easy; but I want you. All the strings attached."

You blink at the sincerity behind her words, a bit taken aback that she's so steadfast in her decision to stay with you. You've spent so much time convincing yourself that she's only with you because she feels sorry for you that you were blind to the true extent of her love. It's consistent and unwavering, and you've never felt more valued than when you're with her. To her, you never were nor will you ever be a charity case; she loves you because you're imperfect; because you need her just as much as she needs you. 

"Okay." 

The simple word from you is more than enough to put Rosie at ease, and she doesn't even try to stop the smile that spreads across her cheeks as you pull her into your lap for a hug.

A light squeak from the bedsprings serves as the only sound in your room as you silently hold one another. She knows that 'okay' was your way of telling her you're ready to let her in. 

"I love you." You whisper against her neck, allowing your lips to brush against her soft skin. Both of your collars are wet with tears following the emotional moment you just had, but neither of you care. 

"I love you, too, baby." She returns, pressing a kiss to your temple. 

After spending a moment just holding one another, communicating your emotions through light touches and kisses, you lift up onto your knees and lay her back onto the bed. She cups your cheeks, loving how they feel beneath her fingertips as you stare into her eyes. Your hands sit on either side of her torso to hold you up, keeping you in place as you smile down at her. Intimate moments like these hold a special place in her heart, and she can never get enough of them.

"I'm so afraid of losing you, Rosie. God, you have no idea how much the thought of it terrifies me." You shut your eyes now, willing away the images of a life without her.

For some reason she had never really considered that to be a cause for your unreachability before. Looking back now, it makes perfect sense; losing someone so close to you in such an unexpected way can definitely make you afraid of getting close to people again. What if you lose them, too?

"I can't predict the future, my love, but I can promise you that I'll spend the rest of my days on this Earth next to you. And I'll find you in whatever comes after, too; you're not getting away from me that easy." 

The last sentence is playful, and you smirk at her lightheartedness. She knows just what to say to lighten the mood.

"You're the greatest." You say, leaning down to capture her full lips in a meaningful kiss. She hums into it, pulling you flush against her body as she flips you over. 

"Oh really?" She teases, pressing feather-light kisses to your jaw. She can feel your heartbeat pick up, and she grins cockily at the effect she has on you.

"M-mhm." You mutter out with a slight stutter, tracing your hands down her body before letting them rest on her hips. 

"Why don't you show me, then?" She's straddling you now, and she pulls away from your neck to gaze down into your darkening eyes. 

Soon the room is filled with a high pitched squeal as you pounce, pushing her backwards until her back hits the mattress again. 

"As you wish, princess." You say, giving her a little salute before kissing her again. 

She smiles against your lips and lets out a joyous giggle at your antics. 

-------

The Second Anniversary 

"Are you ready, baby?" She asks, turning to look at you and gauge your reaction. 

You let out a jagged breath, the air leaving your lungs a bit unevenly as you try to steady yourself.

With a nod, you exit the car and walk around to open Rosie's door. "Such a gentlewoman." She says, garnering a genuine smile from you. Her playful tone calms you, and you peck her lips in a sweet kiss. 

"Come on, let's go inside." 

At your words, she slips her hand into yours and the two of you begin your journey towards the house. 

The rest of the day goes by better than you had ever imagined possible: Rosé joined conversations easily, and she offered plenty of comfort to everyone in need of it. Her presence is enough to lessen anyone's pain, but she truly showed her skills today. 

Towards the end of the celebration, your ex's parents pulled you away from everyone else and into the hallway for a private word.

"We want you to come visit her, with us." 

Your first instinct is to adamantly refuse, but the looks on their faces are enough to give you pause. No amount of time can make up for the loss they've had to endure, and you know they wouldn't have asked unless they really needed you there. 

"Okay, we'll be there." 

They pull you in for a hug, and Rosé tears up at the emotional moment. She sends you an understanding look once you eventually meet her gaze from across the room, and you give her a sad smile in return. 

----

The Visit

"Hey, baby; it's us again. Everybody came by earlier and it was so nice."

"You would've loved it, baby girl. We all miss you so much." 

They hold each other close as they take turns speaking to her, their voices a little stronger than you remember them being last year. Slowly but surely, they're learning to adjust to life without their daughter. 

You turn your head to the side, burying your face in Rosé's hair to distract yourself from the sadness creeping in. You hadn't come back to the cemetery since her funeral, so even just standing there causes the memories to come flooding back. Rosie's grip on you is strong, and you thank her for that; without her you'd surely be a wreck by now. 

A few minutes later, her parents step to the side and look over to you in a wordless request for you to say something. 

"Hey, champ." You crouch down next to her tombstone, missing the way her parents smile at the old nickname you used to call each other. 

"It's me. I hope you're happy up there… you deserve to be. You'd better save us some good seats." You tease, reaching up to dust some dirt off of the sleek surface of stone. The material is beginning to become rougher, you note to yourself.

"Thank you for taking such good care of Y/N. I owe you the world." Rosie smiles bittersweetly, resting her hand on your shoulder as she looks down at the picture on the tombstone. 

Something -- some unmistakable force, a gut feeling -- tells you to look up. You listen to it, slowly raising your head until you can see the expanse of the cemetery in front of you. The evening sun is giving way to a breathtaking sunset, and the remaining golden rays filter in through the leaves of the tall trees overhead. A flash of brown hair catches your eye, and you almost gasp at what you see.

There she is.

Your ex -- well, more specifically, the ghost of her -- stands amidst the tree line that borders the property. She raises a hand up to wave at you, offering a peaceful smile as she glances between Rosie and you. You smile your own lopsided grin at her, and soon after, she fades away completely. 

Inconspicuously, you look up at her parents. They have a knowing look on their face as you stand up and loop an arm around Rosé's waist, pulling her in close to rest your forehead against hers. She kisses your cheek before using her finger to poke the soft surface adorably.

"Ya know," her father starts, pulling your attention away from your girlfriend. 

"She visits us too, sometimes." He finishes with a smile.

A content feeling settles within your chest at his words, and you let out a soft sigh. 

She always was a sucker for happy endings.

#rosé #roseanne park #park chaeyoung #blackpink #blackpink x reader #blackpink x fem reader #blackpink angst #blackpink fluff #blackpink oneshots #blackpink imagines #blackpink scenarios #rosé x fem reader #rosé x reader #rosé imagine #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop girl group #let-them-read-fics #happy ending #ghostin' #ariana grande