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#so good to be back and to make this series again.. anyway
atzaurora · 3 days
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"so put your hands in the holes of my sweater" -The Neighborhood
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ateez reaction to you wearing their hoodie (maknae line)
hyung line here!
member: ot8 (maknae line)
pairing: fem!reader x member (It doesn't rly matter if they're idol or non idol for this one so I'll leave it to you)
type: reaction (fluff)
warnings: none
a/n: I quite enjoyed this as my first reaction one shot I've written, hope you like it and feel free to leave requests :3
here's my masterlist!
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San 산: San was working out at the gym. he texted me a while ago saying he'd come home soon so i went to grab some comfy clothes that were laying around and sat on the couch, turning on the TV. I grabbed myself some snacks and began watching the series I was currently on. I didn't hear the door open, as I was so involved in the scene playing on the TV. "hello beautiful" San whispered behind me, sneaking his arms around my body, laying his head in the crook of my neck. "oh my god, Sannie you scared me" I say still a bit shocked, but with a huge smile plastered on my face. "do you wanna cuddle a bit? I'm exhausted from the workout." he presses a kiss against my jaw "yes please, I missed you, baby" I mumble. "I missed you too and I think this hoodie also misses his owner" he laughs "wha- how'd you even know" I stare at him, amazed how he noticed so quickly, I was wearing his hoodie again. "you've stolen this for ages now, love" he smiles "but it looks good on you anyway" he winks.
Mingi 민기: Mingi was in the kitchen making some food. originally I was gonna help him but then I got too caught up in my really good nap and slept for ages. when I woke up I already heard the rumbling in the kitchen and immediately knew he had already started. either way I quickly jumped out of bed, grabbing the nearest hoodie and put it over. while walking to the kitchen I noticed it was one of Mingi's hoodies but I didn't mind a lot, plus it was too comfy to put it off now. "hello princess" I say, smiling once I walk towards the kitchen island "ya! only Yunho has the privilege to call me that" he fake pouts at me "yeah yeah, whatever, love" I chuckle, ruffling his hair "so what are you making?" I ask, scanning the ingredients "well I'm trying to make some pancakes, let's just hope I don't completely mess up" he smiles at me. "ooh I love pancakes" I clap my hands in excitement "you love me more tho" he chuckles "yes of course dumbass" I roll my eyes at him and stand next to him to read through the recipe "and apparently" he begins, scanning me up and down "you love my hoodies too" I look up at him and shrug "yeah well not my fault if they are so damn comfy" I giggle "yeah don't worry, you can wear them. you look really cute in them, and really small" he laughs teasingly, putting a dot of flour on my nose.
Wooyoung 우영: I was in the kitchen making me and Wooyoung some dinner. I had called him earlier to agree on something to eat and we decided we both wanted some ramen. so here I stood in the kitchen, with an apron wrapped around my waist to keep my clothes from getting too messed up. I was almost done with everything when I heard the door open. a smiley Wooyoung walked inside stripping off his jacket and shoes, running over to my figure behind the kitchen island "hello baby" I chuckle as he hugs me tight from behind, his face buried in my neck. "I missed you" he mumbled against my skin. "mhm~ I missed you too love" I whisper back, stroking over his hair for a second. "look I'm almost done with the ramen, doesn't it look good?" "yes, it looks delicious, but you look better" he giggles, flashing me a wink, before letting go of my waist, to get out some cutlery. "wait-" he looks at me, eyeing me up and down. I look up at him now with a confused look on my face "what is it? what's wrong?" I ask "is that my hoodie?" he laughs, walking towards me to get a better look at the fabric "oh- well maybe it is" I shrug smiling wide. "oh, only maybe, huh?" he shakes his head while laughing again "but don't worry, it looks really good on you" he presses a kiss onto my cheek before going to set the table.
Jongho 종호: it was early in the morning, maybe even too early to be awake, but I just couldn't fall asleep anymore. Jongho had come home late yesterday, so I was already asleep when he joined me. that also meant I didn't get my late night cuddles, no soft kisses before falling asleep and no holding me as I slept on his chest. in my opinion one of the worst things ever. so I laid awake at 5 am now, looking at his peaceful face. I could see him twitch a bit in his sleep, probably meant he wasn't in such a deep sleep right now. I see his hand laying there, open, I take it in mine, running my thumb over it, before pressing a soft kiss on top of his knuckles. I can hear him groan with a soft chuckle. "sweetheart, what are you doing up so early?" he whispers "I can't fall back asleep" I shrug, moving closer to him, I could feel his breath on my forehead now. "I'm sorry I came home so late yesterday, do you want me to hold you now?" he asks, knowing exactly what I wanted "yes please" I say, letting him embrace me. "feeling better now?" he asks after a few minutes of him stroking over my back while holding me tight "yes, much." I chuckle "good, now fall back asleep for a bit more" he answers softly "and then you can give me my hoodie back" he giggles, and i knew you could see his gummy smile plastered on his face now. "what? it smelt like you and you weren't there" I say pouting "no need for explanation, honey" he whispers.
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eeunoia · 2 days
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ENHYPEN Mini Series
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ENHYPEN as Taylor Swifts Song
THE WAY I LOVED YOU
synopsis: they said in our life, there will be that one love that is so intense and passionate. the type of love that has good and bad days on it, but still feel home for you. the type of love that makes you crazy. so many emotions but for only one person. that’s park sunghoon for you.
pairings: park sunghoon x reader
word count: 12k.
warnings: toxic relationship, angst, sunghoon being a redflag. (let me know if i missed some)
note: i got totally carried away with this one and honestly i’m totally satisfied on how i wrote this. i’m currently on my psh phase so i’m totally crazy for him lol anyway, i hope you enjoy this fic and please please please leave your thoughts on replies or send me some ask. it helps so much to keep me writing more. ily & stay safe!
eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved.
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“Where are you going?” you asked while pulling the sheet up to your chest, watching your boyfriend scurrying to gather his things as he put his clothes on.
He threw you a short glance, hair still disheveled from the heated session you two just shared and went back on to what he was doing.
“Band practice.” he shortly replied.
You gulped, spacing out after his response. Its not that this is the first time he did this. Having sex with you and leave once his bandmates calls him out for practice. You always think that it was his priority over his relationship with you.
His steps are quick when he approach and kissed the top of your head like as if it will do any better.
“I'll see you later, okay?” and then turned his back to go on his way without sending you another look.
After hearing the sound of the door closing and locks clicking, you laid back on your shared bed and stared right at the ceiling. Mind occupied by a lot of thoughts and slowly feeling the energy finally draining out of you.
You have been dating Park Sunghoon for exactly three years now. He's the hot drummer of the band called PARADOX. Handsome, talented and very passionate man. He sure love what he does the most, music.
People who knows the two of you may say that your relationship with him is pretty sturdy. Despite the scruffles and misunderstanding along the side, the memories and bond you built together was not easy to break.
They'll also probably mention how the two of you are an odd combination. You, being someone who finished college to have a righteous degree and works as a fine finance manager in a big company and Sunghoon, being the drummer of a said band.
Its not that being in a band and making music is a bad occupation, its just compared to yours, his is just more unstable. Yes, he is good. His band is really good and somehow makes it to places to share their music, but at some point it just doesn't fit.
Sometimes, they still wonder how the two of you works it out. How you can handle the mess and the outgoing side of Park Sunghoon, notwithstanding the fact of being someone who loves peace and have a priggish personality.
“Are you still playing in that band?” this are the common question your Father loves to throw during dinners whenever you take Sunghoon home with you.
You've always know how things ends up so you are expeditious on getting in between.
“Dad.” you looked at him with a pleading eyes, hoping he'll cooperate tonight and let you guys have a peaceful dinner just for once.
Sunghoon tensed beside you as his hold over his utensils tighten, as well as his jaw. It was already hard to swallow food now that he's inside your home having dinner with your parents and now your Dad is again belittling him.
“Yes, sir.” he answered.
The usual disappointing and downgrading look on his face makes Sunghoon feels awful. During this time is when he'll surely never get used to. It makes him realize that no matter how good he do, no matter how great his band became, he will never be someone so worthy in the eyes of your Father.
“And for how long will you plan to do this nonsense?” he was not holding back at all. His wife, your Mom, beside him gently reaches for his arm, trying to stop him from saying more.
Sunghoon clenched his jaw, “Making music is not nonsense. We are doing well right now, sir.”
The way he says those words just makes your Father even more pissed at him. He always hates how he was so confident and prideful. The way he stands whenever he greets him after arriving at your home is giving off as someone imperious.
He scoffed humorless, “And for how long? I've already told you that there's no future in that dream of yours.”
“Dad!” your voice raised because you couldn't handle what he's saying right now.
Sunghoon stands abruptly, making a dragging sound from the chair he was occupying. He balled his fist and just stormed outside of your house. You stood and stared at your Dad with a look of dispair in your eyes. He didn't back down and just gave you this knowing look.
“I asked you to stop doing that.”
“And I already told you to leave that boy countless times, y/n. Stop wasting your time with him!” he strictly said.
“Never.” and with that you turned your feet to start coming after your boyfriend.
You saw him a few blocks away walking towards where he parked his motorcycle. With quick steps, you try to catch up on him.
“Sunghoon!” you screamed, but he didn't even looked back on you.
With gritted teeth, you hurried your steps even more and right on time that he ride his motorcycle, you grabbed him by his arm.
“Why are you not stopping!” you yelled, tears brimming your eyes.
He glanced at you and that's when you saw his bloodshot eyes. Your boyfriend never cries. His playful demeanor never showed his weak side, even with you. Maybe your father was right. He is someone full of pride and sometimes arrogant, but you love him. And he loves you.
“I told you already that I don't want to come! But you forced me anyway!” he yelled, making you flinch a little.
It was really your fault because you are so persistent on making the things between your Dad and him to work despite knowing the outcome of this visit to your parent's house.
“He will never see me worthy of you. You are always so hard to reach for me...” his tone low that made your heart crack. You've never seen him like this before.
His eyes darken as he teared his gaze away, shoving your hold off from his arm. You started to panic and watch how he grabs the handle of his vehicle then started the engine.
“W-What are you doing? Are you leaving m-me?” you asked in a broken tone that made him falter a bit, but the pain from the scene of how your father belittled him was stronger.
Rain starts pouring, but you stood your ground. Didn't even bothered that you are starting to get soaked by the now pouring rain.
“P-Please, don't do this.” you begged and Sunghoon stared at you and maybe it was the rain? Or the cold breeze surrounding you two, but he seems so cold and distant. It breaks you slowly.
“I l-love you so much.” you gulped getting rid of the lump on your throat. “P-Please.”
But he starts droving off. Your heart sank and quickly tries to run after him. Its stupid because there's no way to catch up just by running, but your mind was too clouded to even think straight.
The rain poured even harder and your knees felt weak from running too much. You stopped and cries even harder, heart feeling so broken. You don't feel bothered by the cold at all and all you can think of is how your chest is hurting so bad. You felt slightly suffocated from crying so hard, giving you a hard time to breath.
A roaring sound of an engine makes you lift your head and a string of hope ignites when you saw lights emitting from a vehicle that is driving near you.
Your lips shakes when you saw the familiar motorcycle stopping beside you, Sunghoon's all drenched like you when he turned his head at your side.
“Your father,” he starts and you shake your head sideways trying to stop him, but he continued. “he may hate me to his bones. He may resent me and never want me for you.” one of his hand lets go from the handle and reach over your hand.
“But I love you.” he said firmly that made you tear up even more. “I love you so fucking much that it hurts.” he pursed his lips hardly, jaw clenching hard as he tries to hide his emotions.
You cried and lets go from his hand to cup his face. Both feeling so cold from the nonstop rain but the warmth you two are giving each were enough for you. You leaned in connecting your lips before pulling away to stare at his eyes.
“I don't care about what he thinks. I only want you and no one else.”
He smirks then starts handing you a helmet.
“Then hop on, pretty. We're going to get sick if we stay here longer.”
And without a hint of hesitation, you wore the helmet and hopped on his motorbike. Sunghoon pulls your arm so you can hug him from behind.
“Hold on tight and don't let go.”
“Never.”
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“Sunghoon, I told you already I'm still at the office. I can't be out until before 9pm.” your elbow rests over your desk as you try and massage your temple to ease your aching head.
“But our gig will start at eight pm, y/n. You said you'll watch.” he sounded so upset.
Normally, you will hurry yourself to go attend his gig but today was a rough day for you as well. Too many office works are lined up for you, workload piled up that you don't even know where to start. You know how much it means for Sunghoon having you to be there for him. But today's just so draining. And sometimes you kind of feel like you were always there for him but when will he be there for you?
“Sunghoon,” you draw in a heavy breath, calming yourself down to prevent saying anything that can spoil his mood. That’s the last thing you want to do if he have a gig.
“It’s just unexpctedly a very busy day. I need to finish all these works on time—” he cuts you even before you can finish your sentence.
“Just say it if you want to spend time with that co-worker and stop making lame excuses, y/n.” the sarcasm that lurks over his tone caught you dumbfounded.
Your mouth hanged open, unable to even utter your response to this nonsense he’s trying to imply. He’s very unbelievable. You are very tired already, the workload’s too heavy and here he is doubting you. He still have the audacity of accusing you over things when all you want is for this day to be over so you can see him and rest.
Sunghoon’s naturally a jealous boyfriend. He’s very possessive of you to the point that sometimes it can be out of hand. His bad temper and jealous demeanor is not a good combo because he always ends up fucking up things and telling you things he didn’t mean at all.
“Baby, no. Of course not! I really want to watch your gig, you know that right? It’s just—”
“You will really choose that over me, aren’t you? Like as if people doesn’t think I was unworthy of you already. You just really need to prove more...” his monotonous tone are like knives straight to your heart.
“Don’t even go there. You know its not that.” your lips tremble along with your hands as the conversations starts to get more intense.
“Yeah, right. Have fun with your co-worker.” he mumbled with a bitter tone and ended the call right away.
You shut your eyes as you drop your phone to your desk wrecklessly before running your hand through your hair, messing it a bit. The silence occupying the almost empty building floor didn���t help from the aching of your head. He’s really just unbelievable.
And it’s even more unbelievable that you are still so in love with him despite the red flags he’s obviously showing you. It was too late for you to even realize that you are already packing your things to go and see your boyfriend’s gig. The mountain-like paperworks that were on your table caught your eyes and made you halt for a bit, but in the end you chose to turn the lights off and head out of your office. Off to see your sulking boyfriend.
When you arrived, it was their last song for the night. The traffic on the way made the suppose to be 20 minute travel an hour long drive. A relieved sigh made it to your lips while you walk towards their manager, your feet starts to stings from your high-heel.
“Y/n! I thought you couldn’t make it tonight? Sunghoon said.” he smiled warmly before giving you a friendly hug.
You tried your best to return his smile as your eyes roamed and trailed over to the stage. The spotlight that pointed over your boyfriend gave you the chance to have the perfect view of him playing passionately. A small string tugs inside your heart while watching him, eyes closed and letting himself be drawn by music.
When people ask you why you fell so hard for him, they probably won’t understand you unless they’ll be in your shoes themselves. These are the moment he shines the most. The moment you can clearly see the real him. His love for his passion and his smiles melts you from the inside and out. It was unexplainable. You love Sunghoon. You love him so dearly to the point your heart aches.
When he opens his eyes like as if he felt an intense eyes are watching him, he met yours. Those pretty eyes that looks at him with so much affection. The eyes that pretty much made him feel things no one else can. The eyes that can comfort him. His safe place, his solace and his other half. For Sunghoon, if music is his passion then you are the life that pushes him to chase it. His inspiration.
His eyes fixated over you and lips pursed into a pout, still sulking. That made you chuckle and mouthed, ‘I love you.’
Sunghoon’s lips lifts up before responding, ‘I love you too.’ that made your stomach churns and heart thumping like crazy. Somehow it made you feel at ease. Despite all the worries and trials, as long as you have him, you will manage.
Only you and him will understand the type of love you share with each other.
“Thank you so much for tonight everyone! And we are...” Heeseung, their lead vocalists stalls his words and glanced at his band-mates and in unison they leaned over the mics near them and said, “PARADOX.”
The crowd cheers and you can see how they truly enjoyed the whole show. A small, but proud smile made its way towards your lips. The boys did a short fan service while you stay at the side with their manager. Girls swarms around them, but you didn’t mind it. This isn’t new for you anymore and if you want a partner in this line of job, you should prepare yourself for crazy fangirls.
“I’m really glad you made it, y/n” your head snaps over to the side when their manager spoke. He gave you this sincere look on his face and some other kind of gaze you couldn’t identify.
He sports this plain white shirt and some jeans. Hair styled in a pretty basic style any boy could pull and then he stood there a little stiff. You gave him a smile and a clap over his shoulder.
“Of course, I want my boyfriend to know I’m always here for him.” you stated that made his smile falter for a bit. He was quick to pull it back up, nodding his head slowly like as if he was reminded of something.
“Right... Sunghoon.” he mumbled.
Your gaze remained at him, a little confused of his reaction. It bothered you a bit so you’re about to ask him what’s wrong when a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist.
“Hi hotstuff.” Sunghoon’s voice sounded so seductive as he quickly leans for a heated kiss.
You squeals lightly and tries to pull off from him, but ends up giving in and showing everyone how you two devours each other’s faces. One of Sunghoon’s hand moved down to slightly grope your butt that made you moan a little over his lips. He smirks, mission accomplished for him.
He was greeted by your blushing cheeks once he pulled away, one hand still possessively resting over your waist to keep you close to him.
“H-Hello,” the impact of your latest stunt dawning you, making you feel so shy.
He smirks, fangs showing and good Lord, does he look even hotter.
“You came.” his tone indicates the joy to see you here and that just makes you feel so much better. He may not vocally thank you or tell you he appreciates it so much, but the way his eyes twinkle and shines was enough for you to know how he feels.
“Of course. My boyfriend is being sulky so I have no other choice.” the corner of your lips lifts up, taunting him.
He stares at your eyes before grinning even wider, “I’m not sulky.” he leans in again, couldn’t resist your lips after glancing at it for a second. After he placed a loving kiss, he leans away and went back on facing his friends.
You watch how he threw a short glance at their manager as well and it remained for a while before he direct his attention to some acquaintances that are greeting his band.
The night was long, as usual. This is pretty much what happens whenever he have gigs. You feel so tired, feet feels so painful that you are sure you grew blisters over it. Your eyelids felt so heavy as well, the long day finally kicking in. The boys are still loud and celebrating, but finally one called it a night.
All of you starts heading outside the bar they performed in. Sunghoon’s walking a few steps ahead of you, talking and goofing with his friends. You are silent, too tired to even listen or join on their conversation.
You were almost hit by the door when Sunghoon didn’t even remember to hold it for you. He was too busy talking to his band-mates and didn’t even noticed that the door almost slapped you on the face. Thankfully, an arm held it for you.
“Thank you, Riki.” you gave him a small smile.
You’ve been together with Sunghoon for a while now so that only means you’ve hanged out with his band countless times causing you to grew closer towards them. But for some reasons, Riki is the only one who is somehow felt awkward to be with. You cannot explain why, but there’s just something about him that leaves you nothing to say.
He didn’t smile or anything, just stared down to you using his intimidating eyes.
“No problem.” shivers ran to your spines because of his low voice. His eyes then moved from looking at your eyes towards your things you’re trying to juggle with your arms.
“Let me help you.” it was not a question and even before you can say something to politely reject his offer, his hands reaches over to help you carry your things.
“U-Uhm, thanks.” and your eyes drifted over him as he didn't spoke any words after that.
Riki walks you up to where your boyfriend’s car was parked. Sunghoon’s eyes finally caught you and you don’t even know what to tell him while you approach closer.
His strict eyes caught to your things being carried by Riki. When you are steps away from him, he approaches trying to keep a cool smile.
“Baby, you disappeared from behind me.” and he said that while eyes fixed at his bandmate.
“Well if you keep a close eye to your girlfriend, you might’ve noticed how she’s struggling carrying her stuff, hyung.” Riki didn’t even hesitate to say those words at him.
Sunghoon wasn’t happy about it and you can clearly see anger slowly rising through his face. He clicked his tongue at the side of his cheeks and was about to advance towards Riki, but you stopped him.
“Can we just go? It’s already late and I have work tomorrow.” you stared straight at his eyes.
They were arrogantly looking at you, but eventually softening in surrender. He sighs and grabbed your hand to intertwin your fingers before he nods silently. His head snapped over to his friend and he gave him this knowing look before opening the car’s door for you.
He retrieved your things from Riki and placed it neatly behind your car. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything anymore and just went inside his car afterwards. Riki went on his way as well, riding his motorbike that was parked not too far away.
Sunghoon starts his engine and both of you are silent. It was like that for the first few minutes of the drive, until he decides to break it.
“When did you even got close to Riki?” his tone sounds confused and at the same time implicating something.
You furrowed your brows and glanced at him, “He just helped me to carry my things—”
“Exactly! He doesn’t do that at all, y/n.” the way he said your name was with emphasis. Like telling you that its a serious matter for him. A big deal. But again, when did it never became a big deal when other boys gets involve with you?
“And? I’m his bandmate’s girlfriend. Isn’t it okay for him to help me?!” now, you can’t help but to feel upset about this because you are tired already and he’s making an argument just because Riki helped you.
“You’re just really clueless with your surroundings. You will never understand.” the way his grip tightens at the steering wheel and his jaw clenches caught your attention.
You wanted to just yell at him and point out how he’s being unreasonable and plain childish about this, but you are too drained. Its late already, you’re tired from the office, your feet hurts with this dumb heels and you feel sticky from all the travel you did just to get to their gig. Having an argument with him was the last thing you expected to have.
“Its not my fault that my boyfriend forgot about me and walks off.” you sighed and he was silent after hearing that from you.
“Can’t you just be thankful that he helped me and I didn’t broke an arm from carrying all those stuff?” this time, you tried to soften your tone as a sign of time-out from this nonsense argument he was trying to put up with.
You saw his grip softens and he released a heavy sigh. “Fine.” he glanced at you and his brows are not hardly furrowed anymore. His eyes softens as well. “I’m sorry, baby. Its not my intention to make you feel like I forgot you, I was just really excited.”
With pursed lips, you nodded your head and leaned in for a quick peck over his lips.
“I know. That’s why I didn’t spoil the mood. You were really great from a while ago.” you complimented him, finishing it with your warm smile.
Something warm caress his heart. This is one of the reasons why he can never let you go. Most people would’ve walked out on him or hate at him, but not you. Never.
You will always find a way to find the goodness in him. Even if 99 problematic things about him are presented in front of you, you’ll still find that 1 good thing about him.
You always know the perfect words to calm him down or make him feel better.
He reached over your hand that was resting over your thighs and took it over his lips for a soft kiss. His gaze never left your eyes.
“Thank you for today, really.” he sighs, trying to supply himself more oxygen as he feels like you’re taking his breaths away once again.
“I love you.”
A smile spreads across your face and your free hand stretched out towards him to cup his face. “I love you, Hoon.”
These are the moments you wanted to keep no matter what. Reasons why despite the hardships you go through with Sunghoon, you always manages to find a reason to stay.
But of course, there’s not always good times in your relationship. What else gives it spice other than petty arguments and very random fights with each other?
Months after, the band had another big gig and of course you went to support him like usual. To your surprise, they had a guest singer. Female singer to be exact. And the way she interacts with your boyfriend just can’t leave your mind. It’s bothering you.
“You two seems close.” the comment was short and your eyes watch how your boyfriend load his things inside his car while you rest your back beside it.
Sunghoon threw you a short glance and narrowed his brows.
“What do you mean?”
“You and that girl.” the way you pronounced the word ‘girl’ with so much emphasis gave off hints towards him that you’re implying something.
His shoulder fell as he stared at you for a while, like unconsciously asking if you’re being serious with the choice of tone you decided to use at him. He sighs, when he realized you aren’t budging, but instead crossed your arms at him.
He’s already too tired to even explain things that you won’t listen to. So he struts closer you, held you over your hips and planted a sweet kiss on the lips.
“Let’s just go home, hot stuff. I’m tired.” and he walks over to the driver’s seat not even bothering to open the door for you.
But it seems like you are in the mood to be petty. So even after you made it to the passenger seat and he started driving on your way home, you bring up that topic once again.
“I saw the way she looks at you. I bet she’s undressing you in her mind.”
It made him sigh and roll his eyes. “Seriously? Are you going to talk about that until we makes it to the apartment?”
“Why? You irritated already?” you tilt your head and he glanced at you with piercing gaze. It didn’t bother you at all. If he’s pissed, then you are too.
“You didn’t even introduce me to her.”
His fingers taps his steering wheel more frequently and bit his lips. He sighs, calming himself.
“I did. I even told her your name.”
“But you didn’t told her that I’m your girlfriend!” it was so petty. Even you, you also think that this is such a nonsense thing to argue off. It’s just seeing her look at your boyfriend that way while you’re there doesn’t sit right for you.
Sunghoon scoffed loudly and even if he have a smirk on his face, there was no humor on it. He’s slowly losing his patience.
The wiper of his car moves when it suddenly started raining. It’s the last thing you care about. Your focus is on the hot drummer that’s currently driving you home in your shared apartment. The hot drummer that’s clenching his jaw hardly while trying his best not to argue with you. The hot drummer whose lips so red after you kissed him multiple times to make that bitch know her place. The hot drummer that is clenching his jaw hardly because you keep pushing his buttons at the moment.
“Are you fucking serious right now?” he couldn’t help, but curse.
“Be honest with me. Are you two close? Because with the way she linked her arms, it seems like so.”
He rolled his eyes as he teared his gaze off of you and back to the road. The rain are still pouring hard that its a little difficult to drive.
“You really aren’t going to stop unless I answer your questions, are you?” he surrenders. You didn’t answer and just crossed your arms while looking at him. Waiting for what he’s about to say.
He gave you another short glance as he shook his head. Like he couldn’t believe what situation you just put him into.
Honestly, you don’t know what exactly it is that you wanted to hear from him. If he answers that he doesn’t know her that long, you will still feel pissed because why the hell does she acts like they’ve been best friends ever since they were born? And if he answers, yes they know each other for a long time, you will feel really bad because you will feel jealous.
“We’ve known each other since highschool. Even before the band started playing in other places.” he says.
Your shoulder fell and he saw it from his peripheral view. He knew you won’t feel so good about it, but he also know that lying about it will only make the situation worse. The car fell silent right after he said it.
“Is she your ex-girlfriend?” that question doesn’t sound like you are asking him. Its more like you already know and just expecting an answer from him.
“No, okay? So calm your dumbass.” he’s starting to lose his patience for you.
You’ll be honest, you kind of thought he would say yes. That actually made you feel better. But not enough to let her slip away from your mind. Those eyes. The way she looks at you just boils something inside you.
“Did you two kissed before?” you fired him that question with more suspicion.
When you saw the look on his face, you felt something in your heart cracks. It definitely stab something in you when his expression confirmed that.
With slightly teary eyed, you raised your chin up to ask him your last question.
“Did you have sex with her?” bitterness latched through your voice and you bit your lower lip when he stayed silent again. Confirmed.
“Pull over.” you command and harshly wiped the tears that escaped.
He sighs, “Baby, come on...” he pursed his lips and even tried to reach over you.
“I said pull over!”
He clenched his jaw tighter then obliged, knowing well you will just fall into a much worse mood if he don’t do as you say. He’s expecting you to hit him by his arm or shout at him again, but he surely didn’t expect you storming out from his car. He didn’t see that one coming.
Between you two, he’s the jealous one. There are rare times that you get jealous and when it happens, its so hard to calm you down. Sunghoon’s heart is thumping hard, slightly thrilled to watch you acting like this. The oh so perfect, y/n. Shouting and acting crazy out of jealousy. He bet he’s the only one who made you feel like this.
“Y/n!” he shouts and went after you.
The rain starts to pour harder, but it didn’t bothered you at all. You marched away from his car, towards the nearest bus stop. With just a few steps, he managed to catch up on you and grabbed your arm then yanked you towards him.
“Let me go!” you screamed at him.
Sunghoon’s clenching his jaw as he stares at your face carefully. It was hard to tell if you’re crying or not due to the rain that’s slowly soaking you both. Despite your attempts to free yourself, Sunghoon just tightens his grip and kept his stares over you.
“Stop being a brat and let’s go back inside the car! We’re both drenched because of you!”
You clenched your jaw and hands into fists. People who passes by will probably think that you’re both losing your minds. Going out in the middle of the rain and fighting at 2 am. Thankfully, there are fewer cars driving through.
“I cannot believe you fuck that bitch!” it was rare enough to see you shouting, but much more rare to hear you cursing like this.
“It was a long time ago!” he renew his hold and this time reached for the other arm. The wetness of your skin kind of makes it slippery, but he knew he won’t let go of you.
“That happened before you, y/n! And it means nothing for me.”
“Clearly isn’t the same for her?!” you stopped resisting and just stay still, glaring at him.
“The way she links her arms and flirts with you drives me insane! Like I want to pull you away and kiss you in front of her type of insane!”
Sunghoon’s dumbfounded. He knows he should not feel so happy about what he heard, but he is. Just by thinking of you going crazy to the point you’ll insist public affection is making his heart race. To think you are crazy for him as he is to you, is driving him even more crazier. He just couldn’t get enough of you.
“Then why didn’t you?” this time he seems more calmer that made your narrowed brows falter. He was just screaming at you too, now he’s a lot calmer.
“I’m yours, y/n. I belong to you so claiming me in front of anybody is no problem at all.” he says and took another step closer. Your bodies pressed together and when he noticed that you aren’t trying to escape his hold anymore, he raised his hand to cup your face.
“I don’t fucking care if she tries to flirt with me. I don’t care about her. All I care about is you.” his eyes slowly roams his eyes to your pretty face.
“Yes, we did kissed and fucked before,” he sighs and your lips pursed into a pout but let him finish what he wants to say.
“But she never made me feel like this.” he held one of your hand then rest it above his chest, enough for you to feel his racing heartbeat.
“She doesn’t make me nervous whenever she stares at my eyes. She doesn’t give me butterflies whenever she smiles at me or melt my heart whenever she hold me.” your eyes water from his sincere words as he licked his lower lip, gaze not leaving you.
Both of you are soaked, but it didn’t bother you at all. Sunghoon’s bangs covers his forehead, some beads of rains falling from it over to your face as he stare down at you.
“That’s all you, love. Only you can make me feel madly in love. Like I will go crazy because I love you too much.” a tear fell from his eyes along with the raindrops from his hair. He looked ethereal staring at you lovingly, with so much emotions that makes your heart burst because of exceptional happiness.
“That’s the way I love you.” he murmured near your lips before you leaned to press a hot kiss for him.
“I love you so much, Hoon.” and this time, it was his turn to lean and kiss you passionately.
Disregarding the fact that you are under the hard pouring rain, sharing probably one of the most memorable kisses of your relationship, you’re mind is clouded by how intense your feelings are for the man that holding you right now. It’s funny how moments ago you’re just screaming at each other and now, your lips feels so hot connected together.
But it seems like, love is not enough to keep the relationship steady. And just like what older people used to say, everything is bad when its too much.
Being with Sunghoon felt like a dream with nightmares, clear blue oceans with big dangerous waves and a freaking roller coaster ride. Sometimes you’re so happy that you feel like your heart will burst with so much emotions and sometimes you feel like everything’s too much. That its tiring and draining you.
It somehow toxicating. And this toxic relationship with Sunghoon is honestly tiring you.
“And now you are giving me the silent treatment? Wow!” his sarcasm rubs on you, making your heart feel more heavy.
“I have nothing to say to you after what you just did, Sunghoon.”
“What? You’re mad because I embarrassed him? He’s clearly hitting on you!” your head snaps at him with glaring eyes.
“He’s just being nice and he’s my head supervisor!” your tone raised and he didn’t liked it in one bit.
Sunghoon’s always the jealous boyfriend. You actually couldn’t understand why he’s being like this when you already made it so clear that he’s the only one for you. That there’s no man that can ever steal you away from him.
“Oh, okay. I see...” he clenched his jaw before laughing with no humor. He faced the road and tried hard to focus on driving.
“If you want to impress your supervisor so much, why bring me with you?!” his statement made you roll your eyes in annoyance.
“Because you’re my boyfriend and I want you to be there for me! Will it hurt so much to be supportive or know something about what your girlfriend loves to do?! It’s not always going to be about you, Sunghoon! I need you to be there for me too!”
Your words may had come out wrongly, but all you wanted is for him to be for you. It was a thrilling day since employees should make good impressions to the supervisors to show how fit and reliable they are for the company, but your bofriend just made a scene and now you have no idea how you will show up to work on Monday.
“I told you already that these type of events are not for me! People are clearly looking down on me for having such a wonderful girl like you! They will always rub it on my face how perfect you are and that you deserve so much better!” his tone raised and it made you jolt a bit.
“And it seems like you just don’t get it! You kept on forcing me to go and I hated it! You are just determined to prove me that they’re so right!”
Your heart cracks and his words are like knives straight to your heart. You know him. Whenever he’s mad, he ought to say words he doesn’t mean. That’s his way of avoiding to show what he truly feels. You can tell by his blood-shot eyes and clenching jaw. But you are tired. You are tired of understanding him.
“Is that how you really see me? Do you really think that that’s what I’m doing?”
He clenches his jaw, being stubborn. “Maybe you are really ambitious and I’m just the stupid boyfriend who knows nothing but to enjoy music.” he says emotionless.
A tear left your eye. You can’t take this anymore. You had enough.
“Stop the car.” it was almost audible, but thanks to the deafening silence after what he said made it clear and loud. He furrowed his brows and looked at you, checking if you’re being serious.
You two have been arguing about you and this job for a week. And the event is today and Sunghoon just ruined it for you. Honestly you’re getting enough of it. With all the stress from your work and family, he suppose to be your resting place. But that’s not the case anymore.
He did stop the car and even before you open it, he said something. “The moment you leave, we’re done.” he said coldly.
You halted from stepping outside and felt your heart crack, but you knew you needed it and so you did. You left him.
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“Jake’s so sweet, y/n! I truly envy you for having him as your boyfriend!” one of your friends exclaimed right after Jake left your table to go order some food.
You gave them a small smile. They’re right. Jake is really the best boyfriend. He treats you very well. He’s everything you’ve asked for before. A caring and loving boyfriend. He’s working in the corporate world, which matches yours. He’s very gentle towards you, always got the doors for you, he never makes you wait, he cares for what you want and a man of his words. He felt like so warm to be with, someone you can be comfortable with easily.
“Yeah,” you replied short with a small smile on your lips. They giggle, truly happy for you.
“Thank God you snapped out of it and finally got the man you deserve.” one of them says that made your smile falter.
She didn’t mention anything or any name, but you knew who she’s referring to and what she means by that sentence.
An awkward laugh from another friend broke the silence and just diverted the topic. You tried to pull up your smile once again, especially after seeing from a distance that Jake’s already on his way back to your table.
He sets himself at the chair beside you and smoothly made a conversation with your friends. He’s very friendly too. He gets along with people with no sweat. Such a pure man.
You’re about to put a straw to your drink, but he beats you out of it. He reached for it and carefully slid it towards you while still talking to your friends. It made you smile. Being treated like this sure feels right, feels okay. But why does your heart feel a little heavy?
Jake threw his arm and placed it behind your chair, hand caressing your arm gently. You pushed whatever that feeling is behind your mind and tries to join their conversation as well.
The day went smoothly and now Jake dropped you at your place. As you unclasped your seatbelt, he went out of the car then walked around so he can open your door for you. He even offered a hand with that warm smile of his.
A chuckle slips off from you before you accepted it and went out. His other hand rests over your hip as he slightly pins you to his car to place a kiss over your lips. He smiles after a couple of pecks then leans away to stare at your eyes.
“You’re so beautiful.” he says sincerely that made you smile widely. Jake and his words.
“You’ve been saying that all day, Jake.”
He chuckles, biting his lips feeling a little shy. “Just so you wouldn’t forget.”
“Thank you.” you said while looking straight to his eyes.
He might take it as a thank you for today, but there’s more to it. Jake’s the next serious relationship after Sunghoon and it can’t be helped to compare the two of them. Even if you know its not good to do that, you just can’t stop yourself from doing so. They’re very different from each other.
“No problem.” he leans again to give you another peck.
“See you tomorrow, baby.” Jake said with a soft smile. You nodded and waved before going inside your apartment and called it a day.
It’s been almost a year ever since that night and yet its still fresh from your memory like it was just yesterday. You resigned from your previous job. You wanted so bad to convince everybody that it was because you’re embarrassed by what happened prior to it, but no. It was mainly because you kind of blamed it for losing your relationship. Kind of dumb, but maybe you are really insane when it comes to him.
Sunghoon never contacted you after that. You didn’t hear from him ever since and honestly it pissed and got you butt hurt. Well, you did change your number and blocked him from all your social media but you kind of hoped he will try to reach out for you.
Seems like it was meant to end that way.
Some people from your life kept telling you that you did the right thing, that it was the best decision you’ve ever made. You got a new job, got a new boyfriend that your parents approved. They adore Jake so much. He’s so close to your Mother and to your Dad as they’re both into business.
You should be happy about it. You are happy. But a part of you aches for someone. A bitter feeling lingers inside you because they never tried to open their heart for Sunghoon before. It makes you think that if they did, maybe things went a little more okay.
You threw your head back and stared at the ceiling. A slight guilt crept inside your heart. You got the perfect boyfriend you’ve been praying for and he’s treating you right. He barely even fight with you as he was always understanding.
But as stupid as it sounds, you missed screaming and fighting with Sunghoon. Those instense moments that just brings out much more emotions within you that makes you act insane.
These thoughts are making you crazy so you decided to take a quick shower and just call it a day. You went to bed with eyes brimmed with tears, aching and missing him so bad. It frustrates you because you feel helpless, unable to do anything about it. You’re scared to think that you are still thinking of him right now while he’s happy with someone else.
The next thing you know, it was morning already. Your eyes hurts a bit for crying to sleep last night so you’re slightly out of it when you went to your office.
“Do you want some coffee? Looks like you need one.” one of your officemates offered that you returned with a small pout.
“Please.” and she nods before going to the pantry for a while to get you your coffee.
“Here you go.” and she gently placed it on your working table. You mumbled a small ‘thanks’ as she settles at her chair beside yours.
“Oh!” your head craned to glance at her. “We will be meeting the new potential investors to our company later. I heard one of them is really good looking.” she giggles that made you smirk.
“You know its not always just by the looks, right?”
She rolled her eyes, “Easy for you to say because you have a gorgeous boyfriend!”
You laughed, “That is right.”
You joked around for a while before you’re asked to prepare for the arrival of the vip guests. Soon after, your head supervisor walks in and behind her are men wearing suits and tie. Looking like some young bachelors. Tall and handsome men.
As your eyes shifted to the last one who walks inside, your heart dropped. His familiar fair skin, charcoal black hair, noise pointy with a pretty mole at the side of it, eyes blank surrounded with thick and pretty eyelashes, topping it with his thick eyebrows that makes his skin color glow even more. His lips naturally red and luscious. Your knees weakened at the sight and heart started to race.
“Oh my god, Y/n!” she whispered beside you and even wiggled a little like as if she was got electicuted.
“He's so handsome!”
Oh hell yes he is. And your eyes watered at the sight of him. The familiar feeling of longing occupies your whole system. Park Sunghoon stood there looking so breathtaking. You missed everything in him and you hate how he looked so okay.
He unconsciously roamed his eyes around and accidentally met yours. It grew slightly, clearly not expecting seeing you. His lips parted a bit and didn’t glanced away.
“Y/n?” she snapped you out of your thoughts and you quickly teared your gaze away, feeling ashamed for staring too long. He probably saw you looking like a loser for being affected too much.
Sooner, they guided you inside to start the meeting and you kept on shifting from your seat. Having meeting like this is normal for you already, but now that you have your ex boyfriend sat at the other end of the table makes you really conscious.
“You okay?” your office mate might’ve noticed your weird demeanor so she looked concern.
You flashed her a shy smile and nodded then tried to focus on the person talking. But a minute after, your mind is drifting somewhere else once again. Even before you know it, your eyes shifts to where he was sat and to your surprise, he’s looking at you already.
You glanced away and cleared your throat. Embarrased that he caught you stealing glances at him.
When you couldn’t take it anymore, you turned over your supervisor and tried excusing yourself. Making up a lie that you’re not feeling well. She seemed to buy it and asked you to take a rest. Without wasting anytime, you stood up and politely excused yourself from the meeting.
A few steps out from the conference room and you heard it opened again. You ignored it and tried calming yourself, but the memory of Sunghoon’s eyes flashed before your eyes. Your eyes got teary. Seeing him just awoke your sleeping feelings for him that you tried to bury deep inside your heart.
“Y/n.” and a hand halted you from making another step.
You glanced at the person who stopped you and your heart thumped even faster. His brows narrowed and eyes looked concern.
“Are you okay? Why did you leave the meeting?” his tone sounded so soft and it makes you want to cry on the spot.
Now that you’re face to face and this close to each other, you can see how much he grown. He slightly changed. Good change, mostly. He looked even more mature and manly. His familiar manly scent invaded your nose that draws in so many memories of you two.
“Y-Yes,” and you flashed him a fake smile. “How are you, Sunghoon? It’s b-been a while.”
His shoulder relaxed after hearing that you’re okay. His eyes dropped to his hand holding your arm and slowly, he lets go of it.
“I’m good.” he responded briefly before roaming his eyes on your face. His heart aches.
“It looks like you’ve been doing well.” there's a hint of sadness looming over his tone, but you tried to ignore it thinking that you’re just mishearing it.
“Yeah.”
“Good to know.” it sounded a little sarcastic.
“Why are you here? Did you stop playing with your band?” the question you wanted to ask so bad. It was odd enough to see him here and much weirder because you know how much he hates wearing suit and ties. Tho you must admit that he looks so good on it.
He smirks, bitterness over his eyes.
“I still do, but not as often as before.”
“Ohh,” you sounded sad because you are. You know how much he loves doing that.
You’re about to say something else when your phone rang. You fished it from your pocket and when you saw your boyfriend’s caller id, you felt like someone slapped you back to reality. You want to hurt yourself for starting to act crazy once again just after seeing your ex boyfriend.
When you glance back at him, you saw his eyes darted at your phone with a cold expression on his face. You gulped, feeling nervous before you answered it.
“Baby!” the cheerfulness over Jake’s voice spreads guilt on your chest pretty fast. A tsunami on the shore, coming unexpected.
“H-hey, babe.” you murmured and steal a glance over at Sunghoon.
His expression fell cold as he straighten his back, not leaning anymore so he can slightly match your height. His hands slid inside his pocket as he stared at you intensely. His eyes are piercing right at you, like a cop catching you red-handed. To why he is still standing there and not leaving is slightly a mystery for you.
“Hi sweetheart. I called just to remind you about later tonight.” he says, accent coming a little strong.
Now you’re attention had been snatched away from the beautiful man standing right in front of you. With a confused face, you wondered what he is talking about. Trying to remember if you missed any plans he had made for the two of you tonight.
“T-Tonight? What’s up tonight?” and you slightly turned away from Sunghoon for some privacy. But you can still feel his heated gaze, burning holes at the back of your head.
“Don’t tell me you forgot?” he asks, slightly taunting. You didn’t respond and just wait for him to reveal about it.
“We’re having dinner at your parents tonight, baby.”
You draws in a sigh and hand raised to massage your temple.
“Oh, that was today.”
He chuckles, “Yes. Don’t worry, I got your Mom’s favorite flower and your Dad’s wine.”
You bit your lower lip for another perfect boyfriend scenario he just pulled.
“Thank you, babe. I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Hmm, i love you.”
You stood cold on your feet. The words are at your tongue, you just have to say it but for some reasons, something’s stopping you.
“Babe?” Jake’s voice snapped you back to reality and you cleared your throat then chuckles.
“S-Sorry, spaced out a little. I l-love you too, Jake. See you later.”
He chuckles, “Okay, cutie. Have a nice day.” and then he ended the call.
The silence and heavy atmosphere enveloping you and Sunghoon are undescribable. You’ve never had something like this with him. Even during your biggest fights, its never been like this.
Slowly, you glanced at him and his eyes looked cold. For a brief moment, it seemed like you saw sadness on it but when he saw you looking he switched it right in. His jaw clenches as he stares right at you, like waiting for you to say something to him.
“U-Uhm, nice seeing you again. See y-you around, Sunghoon.” and you turn your heels, ready to leave him when he said something.
“So it was that easy for you to find someone else, huh? Glad to finally know it.” his words are filled with nothing but slight anger and bitterness.
“Excuse me?” you whipped your head to look at him with furrowed brows.
“You left me and find someone new. It was easy for you.”
“You. Made. Me. Leave. You.” each words was emphasize so you can make your point.
“And what do you know about what I feel? It was not easy for me!” your tone raised because of how he just made you upset with what he said.
“Doesn’t seem like it for me.”
You thought he changed, but clearly he didn’t. You are dumb enough to be shaken by him.
“I’m not having this conversation with you right now.” and you turned around, having the firm decision of leaving and getting him out of your sight.
Two steps and he managed to grab your wrist once again. He sighs, heavy sighs.
“O-Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” he licked his lips and gently made you face his way.
When he saw through your eyes how he hurt you again with his words, he almost want to hit himself. He already knew what went wrong before. How he fucking messed everything up. How selfish he is. And he doesn't want to repeat the same mistakes once again.
He was always someone whose hard to read. Yes, you are one of the very few people who can understand him right away, who can read through him from time to time and definitely one of the top people who can deal with his shits. Sunghoon’s not really good at showing how he cares to people. He have his own ways of showing them, and he thought that was enough. But he was wrong.
Sunghoon loves you. He loves you so much that he changed a lot ever since you left. He changes his way of thinking and even exerted effort to become someone better for you. It's such a shame that it took him to lose you to realize things.
The thing is no matter how confident he is to a lot of things back then, a part of him was secretly insecure. Insecurities that built up through the journey of having you as his partner. You’re a wonderful person and he always think that he was very lucky to have you. And so the insecurity and fear of losing you gets the best of him.
Being someone whose not expressive and overthinks a lot isn’t a very good combo. Makes him do a lot of stupid things that hurts you so much. He was so regretful of those times and if he can do anything just to go back to fix everything, he will. But he can’t go back. There’s no such thing as time machine.
What he can do is try. Try to make you feel how sorry he was. Try to make you see a different him, a better version of him. The better version that he strive to be just for you. And try to make you feel how much he loves you.
“I’m really sorry for what I did back then.” he started and licked his lips. He kept sighing heavily to ease his nervous feelings, calming his racing heart.
He had rehearsed the words he wants to tell you once he saw you again, but they all became pointless as his mind went blank just by having you standing in front of him.
“Not just the last night we are together,” he felt his heart break by the mention of it. One of the nights he regretted the most. “but I’m sorry for everything. I was so dumb to realize things much faster. I was an idiot for not treating you better.” he licked his lips and stared right to your eyes.
“I love you, y/n. I still do.” the tears pooling your eyes starts to stream down your face.
“The same type of love I feel for you back then. I love you so much that it hurts. It didn’t change at all. It was always you for me.”
Right now, you felt like your heart is being squeezed so hard. These words you wanted to hear from him back then are finally happening. But things are a lot more complicated as it is. Jake’s face flashes through your mind and you can’t take hurting him.
And also because you still feel so hurt he didn’t do anything just to make you stay. Why now? Why now when you’re a little okay already?
Your lips trembles as you open them to speak.
“You know if you only went after me that night, I would’ve stayed. I would not leave you.” you says in your low voice.
His eyes softens and tighten his grip on you. Your eyes dropped at his hand and it took everything in you to unclasp his hold.
“I’m sorry, Sunghoon. A lot of things changed already, but,” your words halted. ‘But I still love you.’ were the words you wanted to say.
You shut your eyes and opens them, trying to hide your real feelings for him.
“I do kind of wish you tried to fix it after we ended. I waited for you.”
You saw him broke and it was so much harder for you. To see him like this is your weakness. You’ve always had a soft spot for him and it will always remain like that.
“Y/n I—” he was cut off when the conference room’s door bursts open.
You quickly wiped off your tears. Thankfully, Sunghoon’s built was enough to cover you from whoever that is.
“I have to go. Good bye.” and without sparing him another glance, you stormed out of the scene. Leaving the place. Leaving Sunghoon and leaving your heart with him.
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The encounter with your ex boyfriend just made you disoriented. You spaced out most of the day and you’re thankful that the people in your workplace just thought you are not feeling well. They didn’t asked much about it and just gives you space.
When Jake came to pick you up, you felt so much worse. His sweet smiles makes you so guilty. It felt so bad. You feel horrible for still having feelings for your ex when he was there with you. Treating you good like how you wanted.
“Jake! My boy!” your Dad’s cheerful voice errupted the whole room as he went to give him a hug.
You watch how he connected with your parents and it made you think about the times with Sunghoon. They’ve never been like that towards him. Your mother’s a little nicer than your Dad, but she never really tries to know Sunghoon as he is a little intimidating for her. That’s what she said.
Your Dad on the other hand just flat out shut his doors for him. After knowing what he does, he straight up dislikes him without even trying to get to know him more.
It made you feel bad for Sunghoon. Just by thinking of how would he react if he saw this scene of your parents warmly welcoming Jake to your home will hurt him like hell. And that’s what you did to him before. You kept on forcing him into this when you knew it was a low case already. You kept rubbing salt to the open wounds your parents had created to him.
“Honey, you all right?” your Mom took notice of your silence. The two guys looked at your way with concerns in their eyes.
You quickly pulled a small smile for them.
“I just don’t feel so well today, Mom.” she coos and cupped your face.
“Oh my cupcake. Let’s go eat already, I’m sure it will be gone once you have your favorite soup.” and she even gave you a hug.
Your Dad caress your arms and asked you two to follow them so you can start eating dinner already. Jake’s hands settles on the small of your back, eyes looking at you with so much concern.
“You okay, baby?”
You nodded with a small smile before he guided you towards the dining area. The dinner started and the three of them were the ones talking most of the time. You tries to join and forcedly laugh from time to time while eating so little. Just to avoid suspicion from them.
“I’m really glad you found Jake, y/n! He’s such a great match for you. Unlike that boy...” the scowl on his face appears for the first time tonight.
Your smile falters and you quickly fell on a foul mood. Your father always hated him. He never saw his efforts.
You lowered your head, doesn’t really want to hear more about it.
“He has a thick face for showing up here in our home multiple times months ago to look for y/n!” he added, sounding so upset about it.
Your hand halted from playing with your food after his words slowly sink into your system. You lift your head and stared at your Dad with furrowed brows.
“Sunghoon went here? When?” you asked in a speed of light. Doesn’t want them to bury this topic.
Your Mom and Jake was surprised to how you reacted.
“A week after you left his sorry ass. You know I was so pissed at him for coming back over and over again even after I told him you don’t want him anymore and that he should just leave you alone. You are better off without him. Maybe he is really just that stupid—”
“Why didn’t you told me this before?” your tone sounded so accusing. The look of betrayal on your eyes burns towards your Father.
“I don’t see the need of mentioning that to you. He’s already out of the picture. I really hate that boy. He’s bad for you. I never understand why you loved someone like him?”
“You never really tried to get to know him so how would you understand?”
“Pardon?” your Father’s expression looked offended by how you said the last sentence.
You stood up abruptly, making a dragging sound from your chair. They all looked at you with confusion on their faces.
“I should’ve known you can do something like that, Dad. I should’ve known Sunghoon will come here to look for me despite knowing that he will get nothing but mistreatment. I should’ve known.” you started marching out from the room and you can hear Jake calling out for you, but you couldn’t care more.
All you can think of was how hard must it been for Sunghoon. Now all his words from a while ago hits you differently. The way his eyes flashes sadness and how he looked so broken just made your heart crack into a million pieces.
He maybe a mess, but he is your mess. He is your person, your other half.
“Y/n hold on,” your steps halted right when you are at the front porch of your house.
Jake went after you and when you saw how scared his eyes and how he looked so broken, it hurts you. But you knew it will just break him more if you continue being with him when your heart clearly belongs to someone else.
“Where are you going?” he asks, even if he knew the answer already.
“I’m really sorry Jake. I love you, really.” you licked your lips and tears pooled the corner of your eyes.
“But I still love him. It’s still him.”
You’ve never seen Jake like this before. You are so used at seeing him smile that seeing him this broken, hurts you so much.
“Are you serious? No...” he chuckles with no humor, blinking rapidly to push those tears back inside his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Jake. You deserve someone who will love you with all their heart and that person is not me.” and you removed his hand from your arm.
A tear left his eyes, but you turned away. You are being selfish again and choosing what will make you truly happy.
After calling a cab, you told the driver the address of your old apartment you shared with Sunghoon. Hoping that he’s still staying in that place, otherwise you will have to go ask his friends.
On the way to him, you realized a lot of things. You realized his little efforts that kept you going through the relationship. You started seeing how he’s imperfectly perfect for you. That despite his flaws, he’s always been the only one who loves you genuinely. The person who will love you even if you fail. The person who you can show your vulnerable side and still think you’re the most wonderful person.
You went out of the cab and just right in time, the rain poured. It reminded you that same night where you ended things with Sunghoon. Starting to get drenched, you walked towards the apartment building that you used to stay in with him. The same apartment that holds so much memories.
On the other hand, inside the apartment, Sunghoon’s brows were hardly furrowed while he head over his door after hearing a doorbell. He's a little confuse as he expects nobody for tonight.
He opens it and quickly, the annoyed expression over his face was replaced with a surprised one.
“Y/n?” he uttered seeing you standing in front of his unit, all drenched.
Your eyes softens at the sight of him. Seeing him in his white plain shirt and black shorts that he always use to wear whenever you two stays inside. You felt so happy seeing him. Your mouth opens to say something but eyes shifted at the back of him.
The relief you felt washes away at the sight of a girl coming out from the comfort room.
“Who is it, oppa?” she asked and you felt so dumb.
You are stoned at your position for a while before starting to step away. You probably looked like a freaking loser being all drenched and crashing to his apartment. Your heart broke again if its possible as it was already broken, then you cleared your throat. Tears streaming nonstop.
“I-I’m sorry. I should’ve not come here...” and you stormed off.
You heard him calling out for you, but you didn’t stop. Trying to save some dignity left in you. The rain is still pouring hard when you arrived outside but you didn’t care. You walked like a lifeless being with no direction to go to. People stared, but you just ignored them. You are hurting so bad and you wished that the rain will wash it away.
“Y/n!” a scream halt your step.
His familiar voice echoes inside your mind and you heard rummaging steps approaching you. You wanted to run and save a face, but you didn’t. Your heart felt so heavy.
Two shoes came into your view and slowly you lift your head up. Sunghoon’s starting to get drenched by the rain too, but like you he seems to not care. His chest rises up and down, trying to catch his breath after running after you. He’s wearing a jacket now on top of his white t-shirt which is useless as its slowly getting wet as well.
You looked at him with broken stares.
“Why are you here?” he asks, hoping that you came here to tell him that you want him back. That you want him as much as he wants you.
Your lips tremble and hot tears brimmed your eyes. It made it a little harder to see his face clearly because of the rain, but you tried hard. Sunghoon notices and stepped closer, head slightly covering your face from the pouring rain as he stares down on you.
“I c-came to tell you that a lot of things already changed,” you started and tried to push away your pride. This time, you wanted to do it right.
“but my feelings for you remained the same. I love you, Sunghoon. I love you so much that my heart felt like it stopped beating when I left you. I love you so much that I knew I will never be the same again after we broke up. I love you so much that I ended things with Jake just so I can be happy again. It’s making me lose my mind, making me act insane. And that’s the way I love you.”
Sunghoon licked his lower lip and the rain was cold, but his heart was warm. God, how he missed feeling this way.
“And I know I hurt you before. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for leaving that night and for thinking you didn’t try to fix it. I’m really sorry—” your words were cut off when he smashed his lips on yous.
Your hand reached over his clothes, holding it tightly for support system. His kisses started aggressive, like he wanted to do that for so long. Like he’s been deprived of it. The kiss lasted for a while until he leans away to catch his breath, you followed his lips for a few more pecks then his forehead rests on yours.
He cupped your face, warming it using his warm hands. While staring at his eyes, your loving gaze suddenly changed with a glaring eyes.
“What?”
“Who’s that girl at your apartment?” your question are like an interogation.
He smirks and chuckles. He even tries to kiss you, but you leaned away making him whine a little.
“She’s my cousin. She stayed overnight at our apartment after going out with her friends. She’s about to leave now.” you quickly melt when he addressed the apartment as yours and his.
You pout and calmed down. He chuckles and made your noses touch, staring at your eyes loving.
“I love you.” he says, placing another hot kiss on your lips. Your heart aches, but this time in a good way. You felt like you are finally where you should be. Inside his arms.
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dark-frosted-heart · 2 days
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Crown’s S Class Mission - Roger Barel (Bitter End)
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As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this.
Roger: Hold up. Not gonna let you kill my cute student. Now then, it’s time for Instructor Roger’s fun and exciting punishment.
Master of the estate: Oliver, shut that guy up!
Instructor Oliver: The one who needs to shut up is you.
Oliver grabbed the man and pinned him to the floor.
Master of the estate: *cough* Wha-what are you doing!
Instructor Oliver: I can’t lie to myself anymore. That’s all.
Roger: Capture everyone involved.
--
What awaited was an unimaginable scene.
Roger used rigorous muscle training to punish those involved.
When they were no longer able to stand, they were handed over to the police.
Kate: The Beauty Muscle Club has pretty much dissolved.
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Roger: That’s good. And all the hospitalized women will be compensated.
Kate: While money won’t fix their situation…I hope it’ll help, even if just a little.
Oliver the instructor also came forward as one of the accomplices.
After atoning for his crimes, he planned on running his own sports gym.
He wanted to establish a place for women to work out together.
???: Um, excuse me…
Kate: Emilia…
Emilia’s wise gaze caught mine when I turned around. 
(...If she overheard us, she knows that she got deceived, doesn't she?)
(...What can I say to her—)
Emilia: Um, thank you so much!
Kate: Huh?
Emilia winked and smiled.
Emilia: I’ve faced a series of disappointments, but I can’t let that get me down.
Her strength revealed how much she had gone through in her life.
Kate: …I’ve also faced a series of disappointments. I could only think about how useless and pathetic I was. But I can’t stay depressed.
Emilia: I agree. I’ll see you around. Take care of yourself, Kate.
While I waved goodbye to Emilia, I noticed Roger’s gaze on me.
Kate: What is it?
Roger: Nothing. Just thinking about how you’re growing into a fine woman.
Kate: D-don’t praise me out of the blue. Besides, it’s not like you raised…
Roger: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, as a reward for growing up well, I’m taking you out somewhere nice.
--
Roger took me to a restaurant by Big Ben.
Roger: Been coming here ever since Ellis told me about it. Basically, everything here’s pretty good.
(...Roger brought me to such a nice restaurant)
Alarms bells started going off in my head.
Kate: …Are you’re going to make me do something again?
Roger: What do you take me for?
Roger stifled back a laugh and stared straight at me.
Roger: Don’t worry. There’s nothing behind the reward today.
Emma: …Reward?
Roger: I saw how hard you’ve been working…Good job.
(Ah…)
Hearing those words, it was clear that he brought me here as a reward.
Kate: Thank you…But, I don’t deserve it. I got too emotional to make rational decisions.
Roger: I suppose that’s true. But I would’ve slapped that guy myself if you didn’t. He deserved it. Getting angry for the sake of others is admirable.
Kate: …
Roger: Kate.
Kate: Yes?
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Roger: You’re strong enough.
(What do I do…I’m going to cry)
Roger’s carrot and stick method always disturbed my heart.
If he did this on purpose, then he’s pretty evil.
Roger: Oh it’s here. The roast beef here’s delicious. Here.
The simple look on Roger’s face when he looked at the meat blew my sentiments away.
Kate: Hehe…It really does look delicious…
Roger: … Hey, Kate.
Kate: Yes?
Roger: Being strong doesn’t mean doing things alone. Being able to rely on someone’s also a strength. So you can rely on me.
After saying that, Roger took a huge bite out of the meat.
Roger: Mmm, yum. Come on, it’s getting cold.
Kate: O-okay. Mmm…Wow, it’s really good! It’s so juicy and tender. It’s amazing.
Roger: …o_o Hahaha! You’re as restless as ever. Remember to chew. My family’s corgi used to eat so fast that they’d choke. They look just like you.
Kate: There you go again comparing me to a dog!
Roger: All that barking’s the same too.
Kate: Ugh…
We argued like usual, but my heart felt warmer.
Roger’s words made me feel really happy…and I kept arguing with him so that he wouldn’t notice.
--
Some time later, I joined Jude and Ellis on another mission.
Ellis: Kate, you’ve been moving pretty smoothly.
Kate: Thank you. I’ve been doing strength training.
Jude: Ya still lookin’ pretty soft.
Kate: I-I’m planning on gaining muscle!
Ellis: Good luck, I’ll be cheering you on.
Ellis smiled and put his lips close to my ear.
Kate: Ellis…?
Ellis: Kate, Roger’s going to be in the lounge tonight.
Kate: Huh?
Ellis: You want to report your hard work and get praised, don’t you?
Ellis smiled gently at my surprise.
(I didn’t say that…)
Ellis: Or do you want to go out to dinner?
Kate: I’m heading back. I…have things to do in the castle.
I wonder how Roger will react when I tell him how I did today.
I definitely didn’t want him to know that I was walking a little faster than usual.
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perfectfangirl · 2 days
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notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep1
so once again like a crazy person [i've done this with star wars sequels before] i've decided to take three and half pages of notes over the course of an hour. i've been a fan of the games for at least a decade and i'm actually always watching lore content between the installments though so while i do know some minute details, within the show, there was some things i was interested in and curious about that i just decided to jot down. some of this may be things discussed already and some of it might be something i wasn't sure if anyone brought up before but anyways! maybe i'll do the whole season, but here's my ramblings • them titling the episode "the end" was when i knew i'd love the show • ok but i really wonder if cooper can still do those party tricks? he was really good at them and lucy would probably love them too 🥺 • thinking back, the radio in the first scene mentions not knowing where the president is--- beginning to wonder if he was the guy sitting in on the vault tec meeting • just realized they introduced the mr. handy robot in some of the first scenes • ten years of nuclear threat according to anchor but the show is careful not to give away all the cards because why does the weather anchor make it seem like they know when the bomb will drop? idk but birthday boy mother turns off tv real "head in the sand" like • the nat king cole song that's playing though [wondering if the song is mirroring specifically cooper's feelings about barb despite everything hmm] • horse's name is sugarfoot 🥹 • him having to pay alimony... wonder what the prenup? was like... [still think he probably loves barb 😞]
• them calling him a pinko despite him being an architect of vault boy's persona, a quintessential presentation of a "man's man" acting as a cowboy, a real cowboy, a former marine--- wondering if there was a smear campaign after his situation with barb and vault tec, him working children's parties leads me to believe... • did the kid's say the birthday boy's name was boyd? [if so, there's another character in the games with this name and this is also the name of a character walton has played in another series, funny] • weather man show's up again distressed, wondering if we'll get more info about that day • everyone ignoring, cognitive dissonancing their own nuclear annihilation is so prescient if not disturbing and damning
• him teaching janey the thumb thing ☹️ • cooper's voice when he says "let me see if i can't rustle you up a piece" 😩 • janey being the only one to notice the first bomb • the fear in cooper's eyes • cooper being in denial one last time before realization sets in • people becoming animals the moment they realize what's happening--- one guy punches his friend not letting his family into the fallout shelter • people getting into their cars and cooper onto his horse to escape--- wonder how fast they could be since it doesn't seem you could outrun nuclear annihilation
• lucy being raised so well under the circumstances 😔 [hope she never becomes her father] • i haven't trusted steph since episode one • lucy being a teacher [amongst other things] and asking maximus about what happened after the bombs fell makes so much sense [and also much like another person suggested is an interesting juxtaposition to cooper's pre war knowledge] • lucy showing how skilled she is for being a marriage candidate when in reality we are seeing someone fit for the wasteland is crazy on second watch • is lucy not watching a cooper howard movie with her dad? hello??
• them reading "war and peace" in the family book club is rich • lucy [thinking] she's not good at guns, ironic • steph having to step in like a sisterly type because lucy's mom isn't there 😞 • the wedding dress on lucy being ill fitting, tight as symbolism for lucy not truly "fitting in there" and being constrained [foreshadowing] oof • the vault boy sign in the back saying "don't lose your head" lmao • didn't catch the "cousin stuff" until someone mentioned it on tumblr and twitter 💀
• the flashback we see of lucy ending up being almost a false memory, a misrepresentation of her actual memories, that she has been on the surface, in the sun • norm taunting lucy about her future husband being "anybody" and a "cannibal, crammed full of tumours" 😭 unfortunately for ghoulcy, this was some of the heaviest foreshadowing [the raider also could have been one too] • why didn't hank recognize moldaver? • so many things i still don't understand about vaults 31, 32, 33 • the growing realization they are raiders was pretty funny to me lmao
• moldaver having to sit through the disingenuous lies of hank ugh • norm going into vault 32 like they wanted them to know what was up? or is that just how vault doors work? they used lucy's mom's pip boy [that hank lied about burying] • lucy putting norm in a protection vault, she really is so strong • the handed down wedding dress getting messed up • i am curious if the raiders [shady sands survivors?] only mostly harmed vault tec aligners but maybe not • the way hank and steph retaliating a little too well • hank acting like he doesn't know moldaver when everyone really does know moldaver • moldaver telling lucy she looks like her mother is really such a tipoff
• realizing maximus is getting bullied 😭 • dane... might love maximus a little idk • from latrine duty to basically ruling over the brotherhood of steel • they really showed some dude jacking it lmao it's just normal i guess 💀 • maximus being defeated and having a rightful outburst of emotion, poor guy • the poster saying "the outside world can never harm you"--- funny • chet would've died up there 😭 • them not opening the vault back up for her, wondering if the vapourized bodies are from the initial bomb drop or the subsequent shady sands ones • dane almost gets maximus killed three times tbh • maximus joined the brotherhood of stell to get back at what vault tec did, essentially hank's doing, hank has many enemies
• knowing the enclave, it makes sense why siggi is hunted • cooper the ghoul's introduction though • the bounty hunter saying his captors dig cooper up every once in a while to cut pieces of flesh off him 😞 no wonder cooper acts the way he does 😔 he's been taken advantage of, no wonder he doesn't trust anybody is horrible to everyone • "why is this an amish production of "the count of monte cristo" or the weirdest circle jerk i've ever been invited to?" why would he say this 😭 • cooper's... been invited to circle jerks 👀 • does the bounty hunter know the ghoul is cooper howard?
• him not harming the chicken, him healing dogmeat, there's something there, folks • people only digging him to use him again 😞 • what a coincidence he's dug up just as lucy leaves the vault • "i do this shit for the love of the game" he's a character, he's playing a character, real theatre kid • hence why cooper is introduced as "the ghoul", cooper is long gone • "us cowpokes, we take it as it comes" something about this lineee
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xxshadowbabexx · 3 days
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Melodrama: Liability 
Part one, part two, part three, part four, part five (this), part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten, part eleven
check series masterlist for warnings
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You were glad the taxi driver stayed silent as you wept in the back seat. 
Today was your birthday. Woo fucking hoo, because Johnny was fucking Ghost. 
It’s fine, you told yourself. You don’t need Johnny anyway. And he was always going to be a cheater. 
You don’t know why you thought today would change that. 
You’re mot sure what’s worse- the fight you and Johnny got into, or the fact that he called up Ghost after. He said something about “needing someone who cares” as if you were the one who didn’t care. Whatever. Those weren’t the words stuck in your head. 
You’ve seen Johnny get angry a plenty, but never at you, or at least not like that. 
“Maybe I made a bloody mistake! But did ye ever think tha’ the mistake was nae cheatin’ it was dating ye in the first place?”
“Being around you is poison, hen. Sorry for wanting to breathe,”
You collapse onto the floor when you get home, not even making it to the door before sobs wreaked havoc on your body. Your chest convulsed as you wailed, plump and salty tears running down your face and hitting the floor. 
You love him. You love him!
Why isn’t that ever enough?
Why aren’t you ever enough?
Johnny’s not the first person to cheat on you. The only relationship not yet soured is the one you have with yourself. Ironic, since you give them everything and leave yourself nothing. 
Your phone lights up. Probably Johnny, you don’t check. 
Then it lights up again, and this time you catch the name before the screen darkens. 
Kyle. 
With shaking hands, you reach for your phone. Two messages- both from Kyle. You open them. 
Kyle: hey, i was with ghost when he left to see johnny so i figured something happened
Kyle: i know we aren’t close or anything but i’m here if you need anything
You were about to reply when he sent another text. 
Kyle: also happy birthday
•••
You were a bit tipsy. Alright, maybe more than that- but the wine Kyle brought was doing wonders for your melancholy. The food was hitting the spot too, and damn, Kyle was actually pretty good company. 
Funny, sweet, and good at making you forget why you had been miserable. Good looking too. 
You set down your glass, biting your lip, “C’mon Kyle, up up,”
He raised his brows, “Up?”
You nodded, “Yeah, I wanna dance,” He laughed but did as he was told. The moment he was on his feet you put your hands on his shoulders and began to sway, head resting on his chest. 
You didn’t know, but Kyle was smiling to himself as he put his hands on your hips. “Want me to put on sone music?”
“No! I mean- no I like,” you frowned, why couldn’t you ever play it cool? “I like listening to your heartbeat,”
“Yeah?” he asked and you nodded. You heard him chuckle and then he… he pressed a kiss to your forehead. 
You pulled back, staring into his eyes, “Kyle,”
“Yes?”
“Kiss me,”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, “No can do,”
Oh. “But-“
He brought his hand up to your cheek, placing his thumb over your pouting lips, “You deserve better, hun. I know everything is confusing right nos, but I’m not going to let you sink down to his levels,”
You knew what he meant, and a sober you would’ve felt flattered, but you weren’t sober. And you weren’t flattered. 
“Awh love,” his thumb brushed your under-eyes, “No tears, okay?”
You nodded, and laid your head back on his chest. 
You both resumed your dancing in silence. 
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© xxshadowbabexx 2024. please do not steal, copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my works without my permission. do not steal any elements of my theme without permission
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rainysofsunshineao3 · 15 hours
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Predictions for whatever the hell is going on with Yaz and Sammy in JWCT
Before it airs tmr on GODDAMN ROBLOX. I've never loved and hated that game so much XDDD
So it does seem like something's going on between them whether it's related to Yaz' PTSD, the fact that she's at college, or because Sammy now has integrated dinosaurs into their daily life (Which loops back to Yaz' PTSD) and it seems kinda weird to me that most of the theories that I've heard have been Yaz-centric, or with Yaz as the larger reason their growing apart.
Maybe not weird but definitely interesting.
1. Because honestly, I can see that if they ever were to break up (I swear to god I'm murdering someone if they do tho) it would be Yaz who ends up doing it. I just can't see Sammy willingly ending things.
2. Because that's somewhat of the problem. Like, JWCC gave Sammy the bare minimum of character and plot development, most of it happening in season 1-2 with her whole "I'm a spy" deal. After that, she sort of just...stays the same. She doesn't have the same amount of development as Ben or Yaz or even Kenji. She's the most consistent character in the series and I'm not sure if that was done on purpose - like, the writers saying "ok, we have 5 really good or decent character arcs, let's have this one stay the same so there's diversity in not having change" - or they just didn't have time to really develop her character outside of the "Looks like a cinnimonroll but could actually kill you"
So something I'd like to see is Sammy having a bit more of a voice than she did in JWCC and I think the writers knew that was a problem and seem to have made her part of the main trio (Darius, Ben, and Sammy) for JWCT.
I made a previous post about the *tension* everyone seemed to get in the most recent clip > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HQffL_R1F4
in which Ben and Sammy go to visit Yaz at her university.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE that they're diving more into Yaz' PTSD that we get a glimpse of in Seasons 4-5 of CC. She seems like she's doing better and actually trying to help out others who struggled with the same things that she did which is cool.
And then we have this scene =>
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And it's cute and Sammy and Ben look fine af and there are so many amazing things about this clip but like...
Sammy's not coming to Yaz' defense, like, at all.
Like, Yaz' thing isn't working and I feel like CC Sammy would have said something like "That's a really cool view!" or "Coool...?" or even like "That's...awesome Yaz!" in her wtf-is-this-but-ima-be-positive-anyway and maybe it's the writers doing what I mentioned before and giving Sammy a deeper personality and the change in demeanor is small enough that it might just be me overspeculating, but there's tension there.
And pair that with the fact that Ben says "Get in-between two girlfriends?" Like, are they arguing?! Sammy's trying to get him to choose sides? Am I getting that right?
*Cough* I mean, though, Ben would probably choose Yaz ngl, they besties. No hate on Sammy but *Cough*
Sorry, what was I saying 😅
And the line right before that when Sammy says "Ben, help me out here!" Makes me think that Sammy has been trying to get Yaz to stop obsessing over this hologram thing for a while, and maybe the only reason they came to the university was to get her to stop her research and come with them since I'm assuming this is maybe when Darius is picking up the rest of the gang. Again, I could be wrong, but that's personally what I think.
Speaking of the picking up of the campers, I love how most of us collectively agreed that the order was Sammy Kenji Yaz. That was just funny to me :)
Anyway, does that mean Yaz is just living at the University doing her hologram shit and Sammy has been trying to convince her to just come home? Cause that would be so incredibly sweet and terribly sad at the same time, like, c'mon :(((
And now there's dinosaurs chasing them again and everyone thinks Brooklyn is dead and now it's not a matter of "I miss you" but "It's not safe anymore"?
God, this show has so much potential how tf am I so invested in animated characters.
This post ended up being way longer than I anticipated so Ima end it here <333
Toodles!
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jkvjimin · 2 months
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(47/∞) the perfect nose for butterflies to land on it ♡
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occidentaltourist · 4 months
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bbc: Some sweet #Silvacre content for your FYP ❤️
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turtleblogatlast · 1 month
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Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.
Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.
Long-winded interpretation under the cut!
Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.
You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)
The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.
Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.
And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.
For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.
“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)
So, where does this leave us?
It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!
Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.
To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.
And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.
Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.
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bonebabbles · 3 months
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wait im sorry. ive never read past the first book of dotc and all my knowledge of it really just comes from your blogs. wh. why did the erins decide to include sexual violence in warriors? like. that seems a little. too much? like all im hearing of dotc is just. terrible shit. i like reading more angst/serious stuff (i wanna say darker but not in the way "dark media" usually means on this site) but this feels like WAYYY to much for a book series meant for kids....... what were they thinking??
I legitimately do not understand what people like about DOTC. You can go back to where I started this re-read, and you can visibly watch my charitability drain as the project goes on.
It feels like literally everything that people say they like about this arc is not there, while they've completely forgotten or misremembered SERIOUSLY awful shit
And now, listen. I'm a huge fan of xenofiction, which is a genre that is full of kid's and teen's media, but I do love more adult fiction. I love nuanced themes, dark subjects, and complicated plots.
DOTC's message is just plain odious. None of what it sets out to say is worth saying, and it's borderline incompetent at even saying it to begin with.
What they want to say with Clear Sky and Slash is that Clear Sky isn't "evil." He's a "fundamentally good person," and all of his intentions were good, so he learned a valuable lesson from all the abuse and murder. To say this, they CONTRAST him to Slash, a REAL evil person, who just loves hurting kids and harassing women. Clear Sky is good because he is not "real evil" like this fake, cartoon caricature we just made up.
There was absolutely zero need for them to write Slash the way they did. They really want you to be distressed for Clear Sky as his wife is assaulted in front of him and hauled off while kicking and screaming, and they decided the best way to do that was pregnant woman pinning face licking. Sexual violence is an easy way to disgust and anger an audience, simple as that.
As a kid you may not realize how messed up it is (though the asks I get on this blog are a testament to how many kids did, but didn't have the words to express their discomfort) but as an adult with your critical thinking on? It hits different.
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airenyah · 8 months
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it's really funny seeing everyone salty posts about the hidden agenda finale and i actually agree with everyone but the thing is!!!! i'm just vibing!!!!
i went into this show with absolutely ZERO expectations (and in fact, i would have been extremely surprised if this show ended up being actually good dkfjkfddf), i've never given a single shit about the plot and/or the writing bc i came here for the joongdunk vibes and the joongdunk vibes alone and i had a blast watching this series
like, i'm not even gonna bother criticising this drama bc from the beginning i didn't expect it to be very impressive anyway and so i'll just keep sitting here in my pile of garbage and vibing with it <3333
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kirbyddd · 1 year
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#school rumble#i could write an essay on it#actually i have#one of the most powerful stories ever written gah it drives me crazy that it comes in such a strange package#the story so powerful the animation team rejected the manga's bs to give the characters the finale they deserved#even though they were forced to retcon it in the final 2 episodes to push for another season#literally they just end the story on episode 19 and hard pivot to movie parody skits/vacation specials for the rest of the episodes#it's magical#until the episode 25 does the ''ohhh nooo they forgot the whole thing and put us right back where we started uh oh whoops''#''awww looks like we're gonna have to have another season''#literally#anyway if i ever start feeling emotions im probably going to start school rumble posting and never stop#schoolrum's so stupid you can only appreciate it emotionally#it's not like nichijou where theres still all this artistry and richness you can still engage with if youre cut off heartwise#i didnt even have emotions when i first watched it but it was still powerful enough to make a visceral impact#but at this point im just too far gone i need a bit of heartspace before i can have any chance of actually registering any of it again#<- finally caved and posted a schoolrum rant after like 5 and a half years on here#its the kind of series that lurks forgotten for years at a time#until one day it jumps out and grabs you and refuses to let go until you rewatch it again#best dub in history btw you didnt know english localization and voice acting could be this good#knocks the original japanese out of the park and truly ties everything together#nichijou japanese and school rumble english are the two best animation dubs of all time
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zexonyte · 2 months
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yeah i made him a fish lookin thang whatcha gonna do about it
#mother series#giegue#earthbound beginnings#yeah im proud of this so im putting it on tumblr too. hiii mother times server how yall doing#ignore that he doesnt have a back leg i tried but it looked kinda weird and cramped#anyways i gave giegue gill things and a more fish-esque appearance because i hc his species is aquatic#like they come from an oceanic? aquatic? unsure. well its a planet that is almost entirely water im talkin subnautica levels of sea#that's why he had that capsule orb thing in mother 1. he needs it to live and the weird engine-esque things at his side are like purifiers#making sure the liquid is suitable. not too focused on much else (why bother when you're a super powerful psychic) but isn't exactly fragil#like the material is flexible and rubbery even. you hit it and it bounces back a good amount#we don't really get an explanation for why earth itself was chosen to get invaded. at least i don't remember if there was one sorry 😭 BUT#i hc also that the reason giegue's species decided to invade here specifically was because of territory. i mean we've got a lot of water#maybe they took george and maria to test humanity in a sense. if they reacted positively to an alien child mayybe they wouldnt have needed#to straight up eradicate humanity maybe this time we wont need to fight too much. would be inconvenient to waste firepower on these#simple creatures. they're not even that smart. can't even use our epic brain powers lol (aged real well)#once again they aint found him yet but when they do they gon be surprised#anyways its like 4 in the morning i cant keep doing this. thanks for reading my brainworms over a game ive never played 🤙
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strrwbrrryjam · 6 months
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for all my grievances with tangled the series, one thing i cannot criticize them for is their songs, i mean, sure, not all of them make sense in context (let me make you proud comes to mind), the songs are spectacular, from the vocals to the instrumental, all of them are a joy to listen to, whether they are just incredibly goofy, like the buddy song, to heartbreaking, like waiting in the wings, whether its a solo, a duet or a group, they are wonderful to listen to
#i like the show. dont get me wrong.#though i cant deny there are a lot of flaws to the series n character n story decisions that dont make sense n infuriate me#and i will say imo season 1 is where its at its best. although yes flaws are present they dont. idk. ruin the season for me#but i cant say the same for the later two seasons. i mean. i had fun with s2 n liked the new characters but. a lot of it again imo is fille#but s3 is the worst imo cause the stakes are so high but they spend like 2-4 episodes actually on the main plot#n the rest is just. pointless filler. i mean. did we really need to learn more about fucking nigel of all characters#n i will say i am not a fan of cass' arch at all. i liked her in the first season n most of the second season but s3 just. ruins her for me#i also dont like how they treated euguene most of the time. he deserved to be treated better. he was the other main character in the movie#he deserved to be treated better not put in the back so as not to outshine cass n rapunzel's relationship#cassunzel this it not a critique of you. i liked the ship in the beginning to n i love the poly of cass rapunzel n euguene#n you can ship them to your hearts content. im just annoyed at the disrespect of euguene lol#can you tell that im passionate about the show. i mean. the potential was there but. they didn't do nothing with it.#im upset it couldnt be better lol#anyway what was i talking about#right the songs. the songs are spectacular (despite almost all of them not making sense in the context of the shows)#n are a joy to listen to. i love them all so much that i dont think there's any i dislike really. the songs are so so good#n are really fun to listen to. its one of the things that i can never fault the show for. they're wonderful n everyone should listen to the#even if you havent watched the show lol they're great#tangled the series#tts#strawberry speaks
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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Every guy in Yakuza seems like they have enough social awkwardness for Tien to role his eyes at…
there's no feasible chance on earth any man can be more awkward than mountain man tien I'm Going To Hide From My Friends Every Other Year And Then For A Decade After Telling Them I'd Never See Them Again For No Apparent Reason And Only Coming Back Cause the World Was Literally Ending shinhan
#snap chats#i already hear someone go 'what about kiryu' girl he didnt last five years before getting involved again#jo's prob a contender tho. tbh.#anyway i just got back from the fnaf movie#first off please remind me to stop going out to places with kayla i might as well be going by myself#does not help that she walks slow as shit like bro dont make me walk this turtle-ass pace#good things came of the trip tho :) first of all im broke 🧍‍♂️ since when did movies get so expensive I DIDNT EVEN GET FOOD#i did get a kirby gacha tho :) inflation's starting to hit the gacha machines now too tho what the fuck 😭#last time it was less expensive than the time before and now this is the most exp its been......#wow its not just luck on what you pull its luck on how much money youre dropping BYE#whatever i dont need groceries anyways. really i dont i swear i did all my budgeting this month already#on the bright side i picked up 25 cents collectively today :) might as well call me a millionaire already#ANYWAY someone give me an excuse to post the new kirby he's cute and his feet are a weird color#o my god i didnt even talk about the movie wait. fuck.#watching jp movies and media has been terrible for my us viewing experience cause it just makes it so abundant how.#AUDIBLE us movies are. and the camera cuts jesus fucking christ i could turn it into a drinking game#what's my verdict tho ????? tbh i thought it was cute. im still in awe of the suits tho if anything i give the movie full props for that#heh. props. get it. fr tho i love practical effects and yk what ill take it. cupcake was goofy as hell ngl but ill take it#highkey forgot coreykenshin was in the movie so it was cute being reminded he was there :) love him..#honestly it really was a movie for fans of fnaf already and i aint gonna act like i wasnt a fan of the series in its early years#def not a movie to watch on its own- not that the plot's incomprehensible otherwise but it prob just wont hit#like matpat and corey being there was neat and the credits song took me WAAAY back to when that song first dropped on youtube LOL#sorry ive turned these tags into a fnaf movie review. kayla didnt talk about it with me so i wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere LOL#im running out of tags Anyway i solemnly swear to only talk bout movies that ft mates that star in rgg henceforth <3#im lying of course. i dont know how to shut up <3 but ill shut up rn im making dinner. movie made me hungry for bacon....
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eijiroukiriot · 2 years
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i know that between just the enormous reputation and fanon bnha has gathered and how deep my own impressions of the characters run i shouldn’t even really care about what happens in canon but... :( 
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