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catgirledteach · 7 months

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tw suicide and spoilers for the finale

i'm really trying to see the positive in the finale but it just sits sour in my stomach. again i dont want to get bogged down completely by izzy's death as there was so much else in the finale that i genuinely loved, but this event really gets to me for a specific reason

as someone who has dealt with suicidal thoughts in the past i am genuinely upset if this is how izzy's story ends. and even more upset that it seems to be framed as 'meant to be' and 'simply unavoidable.' the first three episodes REALLY drove home izzy's belief that he had nothing to live for - he wanted to die and he very explicitly tried to kill himself. and i was glad they portrayed that at the time and even more encouraged when in episodes 4 through 7 it seemed like he was recovering mentally and emotionally. he was portrayed as having found purpose beyond serving someone who didn't love him back, accepting parts of himself he was previously ashamed of, getting support from people around him, etc. it truly was reading to me like an incredible portrayal of someone finally valuing their own life that they had been so ready to throw away before now

and then all of the sudden in the finale it feels like all of that is ripped away. he repeatedly says he doesn't care if he dies, that he's ready to go, and it all feels so upsetting considering where he started the season. and yes i can absolutely see the argument that now he was dying for the cause of protecting the legacy of piracy, but was he though? was that necessary for them to all escape? and more importantly does that change the fact that izzy was still completely ready to put his life in danger again for the sake of other people's safety? part of the comfort of found family is also learning to value your well-being and safety the same way those around you do, at least to me. and his lines about being surrounded by family ring incredibly hollow when the family surrounding him doesn't seem to be upset by his willingness to sacrifice himself for no particular reason.

as someone who is in a far better place than i was two or even one year ago, this hurt and it hurt deeply and a story that once felt like a safe space is one i no longer feel like i can trust. even if a third season comes out (and at this point i think i would still watch it if it came out) i can no longer relax when watching because i can no longer have faith that there will be a happy ending for characters i believe deserve one.

olu says the line about jim in episode three, 'we're best friends. family. someone i'd like to see grow old just like all my other friends.' to me this means i want to see my friends, my family, die in peace in their own time. the audience is watching a supposedly comforting romcom and one would assume they want to see the family that's been built onscreen have happy endings. i know it may sound extreme but it feels like a betrayal. personally it felt like the story was telling me, 'this is the only way it could have ended for izzy. he wanted to die because he was convinced he would never live happily and in the end he was right,' and luckily i'm at a point now where i refuse to believe that's true. that someone can go so far down their path of self hatred that the only way for their story to end is in their untimely death. and in a way i'm glad that i'm as upset as i am because it means i do not buy into that narrative for myself. i still value every other positive lessons and introspection this show has given me, but this is certainly a misstep that i don't know if i can ever truly forgive, and it has certainly tainted the story forever for me.

#if you're also upset i'm sorry #if you also interpret all of this differently that's totally cool and i recognize that my views are not universal #but if you are upset i encourage you to do whatever you need to do to process aside from taking out your negative emotions on others #log off if you need block any tags you need to block don't feel obligated to engage #i may or may not respond to any responses to this post and i hope anyone reading or responding understands that #be well friends and take care of yourselves #and whatever happens next with ofmd i am still so grateful for the friends ive made through this fandom and the happy moments had before no #and i plan to still hold on to those even if some of yall have to take a break for a while i get it and i'll be here #tw suicide #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #i might delete later

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bbq-hawks-wings · 4 years

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Chapter 267 Review

So, there's a lot to get into this chapter that has absolutely nothing to do with Hawks but still has me

But we'll get to that, so let's go over the main plot, new/confirmed insights into Hawks' character/background, and finally insights into Dabi.

Main Plot

Key Observations:

Shiguraki's (not the PLF's) assets have been mobilized - Nomu, Gigantomachia, etc.

I point out Gigantomachia in particular because of the focus on his radio meaning that whoever gave him and the Nomu orders to mobilize:

Is Shigaraki himself

Is All-For-One

Or is someone with equivalent authority given by one of them.

I believe it's Shigaraki himself, but we'll find out soon.

Endeavor and Tokoyami swoop in the save the day for Hawks and Mirko.

I'm getting Tokoyami ice cream after this. Heck, might even take him to Disneyland he's earned it!!! We got confirmation that he and Hawks had started hanging out one-on-one during his internships (presumably after convincing Hawks to actually take him seriously) and do have a solid connection. This makes me very happy. Hawks does have someone he can genuinely call his friend - and in this time Tokoyami is possibly one of the best people he could have by his side, though not because of his prowess or whatever. I believe there's a strong thread in the overall plot of the next generation saving their predecessors, and Tokoyami specifically coming to Hawks' aid continues to confirm that. I have more speculations but will keep them to myself unless others specifically want to hear them.

Twice likely is dead. I have opinions circling this, but none of it will do much good until I see this conflict finished or have more, very specific information.

We'll get to this when we get to Dabi, but I can't help but wonder if Dabi hadn't ambushed Hawks if Jin would still be alive. On his own, Hawks didn't need to kill Jin to keep him at bay; but the moment Dabi entered the picture Hawks had a choice to make and locked it in. Toga has also had a fake-out death to miraculously come back, but I think it's safe to assume the worst for Jin. I really wish it didn't happen, but tactically I understand why it did.

Insights into Hawks

I would both die and kill for baby Keigo without hesitation.

Just look at him!

Protecc at all costs!!! Oh, he's so precious! But this brings me to my next point.

Hawks has been trained to be a hero who wins when the focus should have been on a hero who saves.

This one I don't necessarily blame Hawks himself for. Over and over and over and over again Hawks has shown to be a person who not only tries to save as great a majority as possible, but to stack the odds as high as he can in his favor to include as many as possible. He seeks to minimize suffering though he knows he can't save everyone. His focus is people in need first and going head to head with villains second. Which brings me to point #2.

His views on a future where heroes can breathe.

This is not rooted in a desire to not work, and I'd dare say not even to escape the Commission. He wants a place where people feel at peace. Tying in with the anime, it added details/sentiments that weren't mentioned or specified in the manga such as calling out Stain by name. We know he's been watching public opinion and sentiments surrounding heroes for a long time, and it doesn't seem like he swings to the extreme of abolishing heroes completely; but he does seem to agree the people need a symbol of peace - a paragon - to aspire to and emulate. He also seems to believe that this symbol should be able to inspire others given his even-clearer indication in the latest anime episode that Endeavor was his personal inspiration and now this flashback in the manga.

This seems to be directly in opposition to Dabi and what we now know about him.

Insights into Dabi

Let's start with his views of Stain - assuming he's a Todoroki (are you kidding me, Horikoshi?! A blacked out speech bubble?!?!?!?) - it would make a lot of sense how he would latch onto this figure who sought out personally punishing "fake heroes" with death. Endeavor has put through his family through enough suffering that most people who heard about it would consider death a merciful punishment. The lasting effects left over from the decades of abuse have left deep scars on each and every last member of the family. It also makes sense why he personally would not count All Might as a hero where Stain did because the abuse he suffered was an indirect result of All Might's prominence.

Considering how hard Endeavor pushed Dabi I would not be surprised if the inability to cry is not only a literal, physical scar of abuse; but potentially symbolic of another intangible inability to properly express, process, and relieve negative emotion:

Antisocial Personality Disorder.

This is a SERIOUS claim to make, so please understand I don't make it lightly; and I genuinely hope to be wrong because it doesn't bode well for anyone in Dabi's immediate social circle - especially the most vulnerable members of the League of Villains.

I need to be very clear, APD is not an "all or nothing" condition, and those who suffer from it can feel empathy and remorse to varying degrees depending on the individual. It's possible he may have had some kind of personal connection with members of the League, but his specific word choice is troubling. Compound this with the fact that he exhibits most of the major symptoms, has a history that puts him significantly at risk, and his current living/social condition aggravates his condition and complicates his ability to get treatment; and it makes at least a compelling argument. I can't be the first person to theorize this about Dabi, but this was the final piece of evidence that secured it as likely to be canon in my own mind.

I say this not to paint him as pure evil - in fact, he's still very much a victim of his father's abuse who desperately needs help - but to say that it makes it significantly harder to save him or rehabilitate him. I also want to bring up that it may make Twice's demise even more tragic and frame it in a new light that makes things worse.

If Dabi truly does not care about Jin as a person, there's a solid chance he did not climb those stairs to protect Jin but to get revenge on Keigo. Dabi could have been argued to be clever and managing his resources by opening fire on Hawks and Jin with the assumption Hawks would save him; but if he does have APD it's more likely he was acting impulsively and without regard to Jin's safety - that Jin remaining unburnt was a happy afterthought.

This is my biggest takeaway from this chapter and is both troubling and tragic if it's true. Those emotionally vulnerable members of the League like Spinner and Toga (who just watched her best friend die in her arms) are at risk of being manipulated up to and including giving up their lives just like Jin in the sake of Dabi single-mindedly getting his own revenge. I've said the League is fractured at its roots, but this is a much worse way of it falling apart of that's indeed the way we're going.

Jin likely would still be okay if Dabi had not stepped in. Hawks would have been able to restrain him and keep him from using his quirk without needing to resort to deadly force. Once Dabi entered the picture he not only put Hawks in a more desperate situation to actually need deadly force but emboldened Jin to keep fighting - and like a self-fulling prophecy neither side gave up until one of them died. At least for me now, there's a sense of empty loss and helplessness in it.

Nobody gets a gold star. Nobody deserves a pat on the back. This is the vicious wheel turning and hurting over and over again until it eventually crumbles under its own weight. We see seeds of hope in the reinforcements coming to aid in hours of need (like heroes should), but we're going to have to wait until next week to see the fallout.

I'm still open to talking about the chapter in asks if anyone is up for it, but I think this is probably the best I have to offer in a single post minus the fact that Keigo likely knows that Touya Todoroki did exist and is presumed dead. He can put the pieces together and it will be bitter when Endeavor eventually rejoins the main fray.

#spoiler!hawks #bnha manga spoilers #mha manga spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers #bnha meta

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pastel-bullet-101 · 4 years

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Part 1

My name is Y/N Shigaraki but as of now its Y/N L/N. I am the sister of Tomura Shigiraki and I've been raised from an early age to become a student of UA. It's my purpose it's the one thing I can do to help my brother. Ever since... the accident. Hes been very overprotective of me and refused to let me help out his cause in any way in fear that I would get hurt and being the one family member he has left he doesnt like risking my safety, but there was one thing I could offer and that was

Inside information

I was around 6 years old when I heard my brother discussing with Kurogiri about needing more information from the inside and how having someone within UA would be ideal. So I offered up myself. Granted they would have to wait until I was older but I could do it. I could help be useful. Of course Shigaraki was hesitant but after thinking about it, convincing for Kurogiri, and the begs from me to finally be of help he caved. So from then on it was training training training. My quirk was already decently powerful but the problem was reversing the effects. My quirk is called shatter making whatever I come into contact with shatter like glass, but the more the object or person weighs the more force needs to be applied so most of the time I resort to punching or kicking to get more force. I learned how to reverse the effects for the sake of the hero course because believe it or not if you have a deadly quirk that cant be reversed it's considered "murder."

But years of trying I figured out how to reverse it but I learned things or people have time limits on how long they can stay shattered before it becomes irreversible (these windows of time can range from 5 minutes to a month, people will usually have a longer time window.) ,all shards must be present and of course it takes a enormous amount of energy. All while I was stuck in my head i nearly passed by the entrence of the school. I quickly turned around and looked at the entrence of the school. It was beautiful the way the cherry blossoms flew around it was like a fairy tale. I was quickly pulled out of my thoughts well more bumped out of them.

I quickly turned around to see a girl with big eyes and gorgeous long green hair rubbing her head, and knocked to the ground?! "Oh my gosh are you okay? I'm sorry I shouldn't have been standing right in the entrence." I offer my hand to her and help her up. "No it's okay I should've watched where I was going ribbit." She dusted off her skirt and looked up to me. "Are you sure your okay? Jeez I'm already messing up my first impressions." I started scratching at my hair before I quickly turned around. "HELLO MY NAME IS Y/N L/N AND IM- wait I'm raising my voice aren't I?- wait I'm sorry this is awkward. J-j-just let me try again. Hello I'm-" I was cut off by the girls giggling. Oh gosh. "My name is Tsuyu Asui but you can just call me Tsu." She extended her hand. "Its nice to meet you...um." I give her a confused look then jump up to shake her hand. "Y/N! Uh I mean ahem call me Y/N." She giggles again. "What class are you in." She begins to have a conversation with me as we walk to class which I found out we share. I'm already happy to have a friend but I remember what Tomura told me 'do not get attached.' I enjoy having light hearted a conversation with Tsu and before I know it we're at the door to the infamous class 1-A. I took a deep breath mentally preparing myself and reciting everything Tomura and Kurogiri taught me. 'You are our eyes and ears your objective is to gain as much information in small amounts of time and retain it all. Nothing is insignificant nothing is useless all information is good information.'

"Hey." I felt a gentle hand grab my shoulder and I look over to Tsu. "Its okay to be nervous I'm a little nervous myself to be honest ribbit." I smile back at her. "Thanks I really needed that. I guess it's just a lot of pressure, you know?" She nodded back at me. "Best thing to do is just do it and get the hard part over." I nod and then with no hesitation slide open the doors.

Only to be greeted by a screaming blonde saying words I've been told I'd be stroked down for saying. He was yelling at a man with blue hair then a boy with wild green hair I'm assuming tried to defuse the situation but then it only seemed to anger the blonde more. "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DAMN NERD!!"

"Bakugou I must ask you to refrain from using such foul language!"

Tsuyu brought me back to her attention. "Well then that's one way to get welcomed." I laugh at her but I then quickly grab a seat in the back not wanting to suffocate Tsu with being clingy. "Hey." I look over to see a girl with short brown hair. "Oh um hello." I wave over to her. She smiled "Guess we're gonna be desk neighbors. My name is Ochaco Uraraka but you can just call me Ochaco." She ended her sentence with a smile which made me smile as well. "My name is Y/N L/N call me Y/N." She was about to continue the conversation but it was cut short by a

Caterpillar?

A man with long messy black hair in a bright yellow sleeping bag was standing at the teachers desk.

"Hello I'm Shota Aizawa your teacher." Everyone let out a simultaneous 'HAH'

Well this was certainly a first day to remember isnt it.

#bakugou x reader #anime #katsuki bakugō #katsuki x reader #slow burn #midoriya imagine #my hero acadamy #my hero imagines #my hero academy oc #boku no hero oc #boku no hero academia #mha shigaraki #shigaraki tenko #kurogiri #angst #liar liar

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