Keep thinking about Rain by Sleep Token. I keep having a love/hate relationship with it, don't get me wrong, the song is AMAZING, love the breakdown, how soft it starts. But its the lyrics.
I dunno if its because I'm in a vulnerable place with being single for the last 3 years but the lyrics make me sad. If it is about Vessel finding someone new after all the torment he's been through - it makes me jealous and sad that I'm still single, I haven't found someone to "cleanse me". (Also the stupid envy he's not single himself lol)
But I also try and change my brain to think its about us, the fans, someone on discord or twitter or somewhere said the lyric of "when I open my eyes to the future, i can hear you say my name" sound more like us the fans finally learning his real identity behind the mask and we can call out his real name. So its more of a love letter to us, the fans for accepting him, smiling at him, being addictive.
But I also remember someone saying they think its more about him just seeing someone across the room, they smile and its him realising everything will be okay, he can move on and that line is him dreaming about a future with that person. (think you're beautiful by James Blunt)
I dunno, I love love love the song, but it really depends on my mood - if I'm feeling lonely and sad it makes me worse, but if I'm okay and content I agree with it. Non of the other songs make me feel this way, most feel like hes singing them to me, about me, or I just accept its about a past lover.
OR its just a song and the lyrics are just that and dont have a meaning. But out of all the songs, that one is just... different.
(i probably sound crazy, which I might be, I am a little teenager-crush on vessel, sue me, even at 31 I can still pine over someone and have a crush, but the difference is i know its a fantasy, its not real. But my emotions are and i cant help that)
Right now we are in that period of the year where there is just not much sunlight. This can be really draining.
Yesterday while I was driving home from work I started singing “it's the chemical cut that I can get down with, up like the moon and out like the hounds”
That made me think about drinking. What I really miss about it is that first feeling that it gives you. The burning sensation in your mouth, your throat, your gullet and then it finally lands in your stomach and gives it a warm embrace.
For a short moment I thought about stopping at the supermarket. One last kiss?! NO! Never!
I turned to music louder and started to scream along instead.
Today I thought about “alleged drunk” Vessel again. That recording is from 2018. But “Rain” is more recent.
What if Vessel decided after that show that he would never drink alcohol again. Right?! No?!
I continue to sing “it's the chemical cut that I can get down with” and think about what I have accomplished.
Spring will come, the sunlight will come back, winter solstice is very soon and everything is just temporary.
anyone else feel like listening to the song isn’t enough, you need to be atomized and exist only as said song?
anyways i just really love rain by sleep token. only song i have ever played on repeat. and i just really need to exist as that song. be completely, utterly consumed by it. i want my atoms to become sound waves and exist only as rain. if my heart was a radio and you could tune into it, it would play rain 24/7
I'm researching something at the moment and this fills me with so much joy.
In my research for the kundalini energy I just found something or rather realized something.
Do you see the colour in which the crown chackra is being referred to?! Of course it's violet.
How could I forget. How can you meditate for a decade and not even be aware of this 😂
And also this:
“ the process of activating the kundalini is also being referred to as 'raise the seven serpents'”
Oh dear! My heart is filled with love for no real reason. I just love all of this. I was kind of aware of all of this but something inside of me just klicked.
thinking about price brushing his thumbs against your stretch marks, looking at you with such awe it makes your heart waver, before he bends over to plant his lips over them.
you squeak, ashamed, but john holds you just a little tighter so you can feel each little kiss.
“mmh,” he breathes against your skin. “so perfect f’r me, darlin’.”
“really?” you couldn’t help but ask, feeling so small and insecure.
john slants his eyes up at you, wrinkled in his smile. “really.” he kisses your hip again. “so, so perfect.”