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namimikan · 2 years

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familiar wife-ish hitsukarin au/future fic, where it’s about right people wrong time. (the kdrama itself is about time travel, and how much i love the ml being an idiot and self-absorbed and unaware <3) so! this is more inspired by than an actual adaptation but! it’s been in my head for days, since i adored it.

- karin and toushirou have been secretly married for years, but it’s long distance, and it’s honestly taking it’s toll on each other, partly because they rarely seem to see each other, or when they do, they’re both in such bad moods, bc karin still lives in the mortal world and toushirou is still captain of the 10th division. he tries to sneak out each night so he can see her, but. sometimes he doesn’t. other times, he has difficulty sneaking back to soul society when morning comes, so ultimately it’s really limiting their time together and straining their relationship. they still love each other, hence why they’re still together, but it’s hard and they’re slowly but surely becoming miserable and dissatisfied and more argumentative with each other, so it’s pretty clear that it’s getting to a boiling point. and one day, karin just snaps.

- ‘if you walk out,’ she says, because she’s tired and at her wits end and it’s hard, okay? life is stressing her out, and he’s not there as much as she wants him to be, ‘don’t bother coming back.’

- and toushirou thinks about it. thinks that maybe this is as far as they can go. that maybe that it’s better that they part ways here and now. maybe it would be easier for both of them if they just... stopped. if they’d be better apart. she’s just so angry all the time and he doesn’t really recognize the person she is any more, so. so he walks out the door. doesn’t look back.

- anyway, couple of weeks later, karin dies. not intentionally, but, y’know, life has a way of being unlucky at times. and she dies. the point is, she forgets. being part of soul society, the more powerful a person’s spiritual power is, the quicker the memories fade. so, no more memories of married life turned sour, no more memories of the playing soccer with her friends happy as can be, no more memories of feeling alone bc she can’t talk to people who can’t see ghosts like she can. and she thrives in rukongai, she becomes happier and easygoing, able to relax for most part, because the things that stressed her before don’t exist anymore.

- anyway, one day she decides to go to seireitei, apply to the gotei thirteen, figuring that she can make life better for rukongai. and after graduating, decides that she wants to go to division 10.

- toushirou, still kind of reeling from the fallout, even if it’s been years. is shocked. it still feels like it happened yesterday to him. but at the same time, it’s not like he can reject her -- because what’s the point of saying he’s refusing her application on the basis that they used to be married! she’s a different (happier) person now, hell, she doesn’t even remember any of that!

- so. he won’t reject her application. but he will... nitpick her, be slightly harsher than he needs to be, strictly speaking. (he won’t make her life miserable, he’s not that vindictive, but people will think he’s weird around karin, disliking her for no real reason; tho matsumoto maybe theorizes it up the fact that he’s trying to be Professional, like the way he tries to draw lines between hinamori and himself, the same thing sort of going on here. he’s not doing a very good job of being Professional, tho). he’ll try and avoid her, as much as possible.

- and for most part, that’s okay. it’s bearable, if awkward.

- thing is. the more time toushirou inadvertently spends with karin, the more it seems that distance has... done some good to her. this karin is more relaxed, more cheerful, more good tempered. kind of reminding toushirou of the times when he first fell in love with karin. after all, they were happy for a long time. they had some good times together. right? this is who karin truly is, so what went wrong?

- and toushirou gets careless. for all that karin is a different person, she’s still the same in some regards. and toushirou remembers those details all too well. how she likes her coffee, when she’s in a bad mood, how she fidgets when she’s trying to hold something in, how pretty she is when she blushes. for all that he tries to push her away, the fact that he’s so conscious of her is unconsciously bringing her closer to him.

- (and maybe. just a small part of him starts to resent the fact that she can’t remember the happier times. how his heart skips a beat when she laughs so hard she can’t breathe. how she looked with him with such affection. what once was a kindness, her lack of memories, her bitterness vanishing, feels like a curse, because he can’t reminisce the past with her, he can’t be as close as he used to be with her. he starts to miss that easiness of their friendship, and how it developed into something more over time.)

- but then someone else has the gall to fall in love with karin. and. he is totally not jealous. no way! that was a different life -- karin is different, he tells himself, he knows that, but still, he can’t not care about her, but. that doesn’t mean... well. if karin wants to date someone who isn’t him, that’s up to her, isn’t it?

- (still kind of bugs him when karin accepts, not that it’s anyone’s business, least of all matsumoto’s.)

- karin likes the person who asked her out, or: at least likes them well enough to be willing to try and see what a month of dating would be like, but. still, despite that, there’s something about captain hitsugaya (and his face that does a thing whenever she says that) that draws her to him. she’s not sure quite what it is, but there’s something about him that she finds captivating. despite his weird behaviour and odd moods, she still notices how careful he tries to be around her, around everyone, but every so often, his guard slips, like he can’t help himself but be charmed, and something within her glows in those rare moments, like she’s been waiting for him to smile all along.

- doesn’t help that she’s been plagued by dreams ever since she joined division 10. a life she’s sure she hasn’t lived, one where she was married to someone who made her incredibly happy and incredibly sad. but she’d remember who that was, if those incredibly vivid dreams were real, right?

- eventually, she decides to ask matsumoto, ask hitsugaya if it’s possible to remember a past life. if it’s possible that those dreams aren’t just dreams. (if. maybe. that person might have been him, she can’t remember that person’s face in her dreams. but. she wants it to be him. she doesn’t know at what point she starts wanting it to be him. but sometimes, when he thinks no one is looking at him, her breath catches at his expression when he looks at her. and she finds her self wanting to reach out to him.)

- she ends her relationship, because it’s not working out, and she doesn’t feel the same way after all. and asks toushirou out. the truth comes out: they used to be married. they won’t -- they shouldn’t date. he’d only make her miserable again, and, as he’s learned, befriending karin all over again, unwilling as he tried to fight it, falling for her all over again, he doesn’t want to repeat mistakes.

- as karin has been trying to figure out the meanings of her dreams, toushirou has been learning that... her life in the mortal realm had become really difficult, and because they’d stopped talking to each other, he couldn’t comfort her the way he would have done had he known. karin still has difficulty asking for help, he’s gotten better at realizing when she’s asking for help without asking outright, but there are still times when she feels like she’s overburdening him, so he’d missed the signs. and toushirou realizes that it’s not just on karin that their marriage had deteriorated so badly, it was on him and his own inattentiveness that contributed to it. yes, he’d been busy and distracted at the time, but still. he hates that he hadn’t noticed. even if karin points out, it takes two people for a marriage to fail, it’s not solely on the shoulders of one person.

- marriage is about communication and trust, and karin wants to try again. she’s regained her memories, the more she falls in love with him, the more she remembers their past clearly, and still, she wants to follow her heart, and her heart wants him. so point blank, she asks him, what does his heart want?

- her, he admits, eventually, quietly. he resisted at first, not because he disliked the idea, but rather because he’s afraid. but his feelings don’t change, even if he tries to shun them, he will always care and worry about her. this time, he’ll make it up to her. this time, they’ll make it right. this time, they’ll be happy. he might as well be reciting marriage vows, karin says, teasing him a little, and swears that she’ll try and won’t push him away. she’ll let him know if she’s having a tough time. she’ll work just as hard he will on this marriage, instead of letting misery take them both.

- epilogue, karin moves into a different division, let’s say idk, division 13, since neither of them kind of want to date within the same division, but this time both karin and toushirou are secure in their relationship, and they don’t have to sneak about anymore, bc they get a place where they can live together comfortably. and at this point the marriage between karin and toushirou has become an common knowledge.

- (matsumoto is amazed that they hid this from her. she suspected that they’d been dating, back when karin was alive, but married???? and they hadn’t invited her to their first wedding???)

- and they get it right, this time around.

#bleach #hitsukarin #onion sprouting text #this has been in my drafts for ages i figure i should try and finish this au #tbh for a while i wanted to do a persuasion au but actually imagining this scenario makes more sense to me? in one future at least #and. kind of just thinking about the whole 'having reiatsu would make a person forget' and how that might play with this relationship #i'm a sucker for exes to lovers in any form. i get that karin normally wouldn't remember BUT. that's the power of LOVE.#maybe no one else would like this au but i still found it interesting to think about how it would play out #i will say i totally get finding the ML in this drama unsympathetic but look. he's my brand of terrible. i adore him anyway.

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