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facelessxchurch · 1 year

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I wrote my thoughts down while reading HBL, plus some the-morning-after thoughts.

MASSIVE Spoilers for "Hell Breaks Loose" under the 'Read More'. These are spoilers for the entire book including the big twist, so read at your own peril.

Too much talk about Skulduggery. Even when he's not present he remains the focal point, I hate it.

So far Ghastly seems to be the only POV character.

Why the fuck are my Bois wearing wigs???

Honestly, no one on their right mind would send a special force with a leader that has a personal grudge against one of the people they are meant to protect. This is beyond stupid.

Speaking of beyond stupid. The notion that some rando assassin could kill Mevolent is ridiculous, he is a god amongst men. Would be nice if Landy would remember that and stop doing him dirty.

So Ghastly is crushing on the leader of the masked sisters. And Saracen is of course trying to fuck her. Only proofing my dislike of him right again.

Remember that part on the Grimoire that says one of the FO bloodlines was cut short during the war? Yeah, found the fucker.

That fight was complete bullshit.

Nice to see an FO follower making a point of herself not believing her side to be evil. But fucking hell that dialog feels forced.

Dear god's, too many people in this book like to blabber on. Also, first Skul is going on about dinosaurs and now this part about the earth's gravitational pull and ancient knowledge about this planet. This is just Landy feeling smart BC he skimmed over a few wiki articles for like five seconds. Move on with the damn story.

Huh, Mev dealing with the gate is pretty close to the fake cover I made.

Skul keeps getting praised as a genius but he keeps doing stupid stuff like running at three overpowered enemies surrounded by their soldiers without a goddamn plan

As much as I enjoyed Baron stepping in the way and beating the shit out of Skul while Nef watches, Baron and Mev abandoning him is fucking bullshit and exactly what I feared would happen :/ poor Nef just keeps getting captured

Aaaaand Skul's stupidity doomed the world

Ghastly's mother showed up.

"for a parley Mevolent will want to have Serpine back" THEN WHY DID HE LEAVE HIM IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE??? IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN A FLICK OF HIS WRIST TO HAVE AN UNCONSCIOUS NEF FLOAT INTO HIS ARMS

They really do like putting bracelets on Nef

The voice. I can't believe Landy ripped off the fucking mouth of Sauron, what the fuck. Everybody knows LotR. Then again the Luke Skywalker thing was even worse. How is any of this legal?

FUCKING TIME TRAVELING VALKYRIE CAIN WE CAN'T GET EVEN ONE BOOK WITHOUT THST FUCKING STUPID WORTHLESS CUNT even more annoying was people predicting Valkyrie would travel back to war times ever since time travel became canon. Also there is a whole long-ass fic about exactly that premise.

The story just got a lot more convoluted and stupid. But now I know why this book is meant to be read after phase 2.

And let me guess, since Val is an overpowered Mary-Sue, they don't technically need Mev anymore to close the gate and she will do it instead

This feels like an unpleasant mix of exposition dump and getting lectured and I'm not here for it.

Nef is such a dramatic little shit, I love him!

Aaaaand he's dead.

Ah fucking hell, one of the only reasons I bought the book in the first place just died and I swear half the dialogue in this book is just about Ghastly's love life. Just continue the damn story and resurrect my bastard snek man >:/

Huh, nice trap from Mev. That's why I love the man <3 guess he must have known Nef was dead when he wasn't at the meeting and didn't take too kindly to it.

"kill him twice" "prime him for death" this plot makes less sense by the second. also, called Mev no longer being needed to close the portal.

Needless animal cruelty so you know the bad guys are the bad guys (this is not referring to the faceless followers btw)

Fighting literal children.

The Italian guy Valkyrie needs to talk to is randomly able to speak English.

And Skul turned into Vile. The scene seems like a parallel to Val turning 'permanently' into Darquesse in LSoDM

His entire skeleton got disintegrated yet that fucker put himself back together with shadows. Landy really made his shitty self-insert immortal, huh?

Saracen and Dexter are canon now apparently.

Baron and Mev are back, but it's not the same without Neffie :(

I call bullshit on Mev not instantly annihilating fighting 3 Dead Men at once, especially since they are weakened and tired.

So Valkyrie still has the black lighting but only uses it on the goddamn floor and not on the overpowered enemy she had been fighting a minute prior

Mev losing to the necromancers AGAIN is fucking bullshit

Did Ghastly just beat Baron to death? While he himself was half dead? That too is bs

Now there are multiple timelines. The one we read about and another one where Val hooks up with the Dead Men (can't tell if she is joking or not) and one that might be the same timeline where she and Mev fight together and Mev seals the portal. Aaaaand she flicked him off before leaving. This is why no one likes you, Val.

Morning After Thoughts:

I don't think we actually know what Hopeless' discipline was. But since he was a Hidden Blade too I guess it's something similar to Tanith?

I'm still not over how we got drowned in dialogue when it came to the Dead Men, yet Mev and his nasties barely spoke, especially not to each other. I think the most interaction they had was Nef saying one line to Mev and Baron smiling when they ditched Nef.

Holy fuck, Nef was done so dirty in this. He got knocked out almost instantly, left behind, captured, poisoned and then torn apart. With each Nef scene I'm more convinced he's based on someone Landy doesn't like bc he just loved fucking up Nef.

He really enjoyed watching Mev just fucking annihilate the Sanctuary side eventho I call bullshit on some scenes like Mev not instantly killing the three very exhausted Dead Men at the end of the book and Baron managing to get beaten to death after he had essentially already won.

The part in the present fucking sucked and I call so hard bullshit on Mev losing to the necromancers again. They are like a mini cult, they would not have the numbers for that even after Mev is done with the Sanctuaries. It's probably bc Landy made Vile OP AF in this 🙄 Also, this future proves Mev right about mortals.

I'm in general VERY disappointed how Mev and his generals felt at times more like set dressing than anything else. Given the synopsis, this feels like a massive bait and switch :/ You want wartime stories? Whoops, it's Val again. Fuck you.

Btw it's really hard to root for Skul and the Dad Men bc their plan is always to just rush in and start hitting stuff. At least they got some well-deserved ass-kicking for that. Meanwhile, Mev is the only one that actually comes up with plans and successfully executes them. Once again, Mev feels more like the main character than the main characters do.

But at the same time Landy can't help himself but to make a parody of Mev, especially with this 'the voice' bullshit that made Mev just look ridiculous. Landy doesn't seem to know that a good villain can make or break the story. Just look at the recent Puss in Boots movie, the villains are so good, they are what most people are talking about.

Conclusion: This feels like a massive bait-and-switch. The synopsis promised wartime stories Mev and his generals taking a central role alongside the Dead Men. Instead, it was a mix between a romance story for Ghastly and a time travel story for Valkyrie. Also, everything gets reset in the end and what we actually read is just one of the timelines she messed up before finding a conveniently easy fix. So it's NOT a prequel story as advertised, it's an alternate timeline. So everything that happens there is non-canon bc it gets reset at the end of the book anyways. So once Val and her time travelling gets revealed (or at the latest point when Nef dies) there is no reason to be invested in this story anymore bc you can tell it's just gonna get reset anyways.

#SP Hell Breaks Loose #HBL Spoilers #long post

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wastelandcth · 4 years

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omg a blurb about cal loosing his fave sensation shirt 😳 i feel he’d freak out and be sad so the reader spends all day trying to find it for him while he’s at work and she finds it and his empathy hoodie and other gems that she can make him feel better with 🥺 i love a couple thst is willing to do anything to make each other happy

okay this was such a cute concept and i was freezing cold when i was writing this (also missing fall so..)

Missing Shirts

Calum was already having a bad morning. He'd slept through his alarm and Duke had chewed one of his toys during the night, leaving small puffs of cotton and stuffing around the bedroom. It didn't help that he'd dropped his toothbrush in the sink, spilling toothpaste everywhere. But the final straw to his bad morning was when he tried to get dressed and his sensation shirt he'd meant to wear that day was missing.

He'd seen the shirt a couple of days ago in the laundry basket, folded and sitting upon a load of laundry. He'd been planning on wearing it with his black jeans, an outfit that was good enough for the studio time they had booked today, knowing that Andy was joining them to film some content for their Instagram. Not that it was that important to him, but he really liked the comfy shirt and the idea of it being missing made his morning worse.

She'd been in the kitchen when Calum walked out, his eyebrows furrowed as he saw Duke messing with the unstuffed toy. She could tell that Calum was in a mood, he was quiet and his body seemed tense. She stirred the pot that contained oatmeal, the warm gooey substance meant to warm them both on the chilly October morning. The smell of coffee filled her nose as she heard Calum shuffling along the kitchen, leading Duke outside into the patio.

"Have you seen my sensation shirt?" he asked after coming back inside and pressing a kiss to her head after saying his good mornings. His breath smelled like coffee, his warm body pressed against hers made the chilly air blowing in from outside seem like just a breeze. Her sock-clad feet turned to face him, sleep still evident in her features, her body leaning up to kiss him gently.

"I'm sure it's around here somewhere. I saw it yesterday I think?" she shrugged, her voice soft compared to his which was filled with sleep and unease. "I'll look for it when I do laundry today, yeah?" she mumbled as he pressed another kiss to his warm lips.

Calum felt his worries and anger leave him as he held her close, her body pressed up against his as he shielded her from the weather outside. Not even Duke's parting outside could distract him from that moment when the smell of coffee overtook them both. By the time he had walked out to his car, wrapped in a black hoodie that kept his body warmth in and the cold out, Calum had felt a little lighter, the oatmeal in his belly making him feel warm and happy.

Cleaning had always been a chore for her, always something she hated. But when she got her own place in LA, cleaning became a sort of meditation, a way to clear her mind. She liked days when Calum was out at the studio and she was off from work, it gave her time to clean and be able to have time for herself. She could sing at the top of her lungs and dance along to whatever song she had playing through the speakers in the living room. She'd been cleaning out their bedroom when she spotted a green fabric under the bed frame, her head laying on the floorboards as she used her phone for light to see under the bed.

The laugh that left her chest echoed throughout the room, her body shaking against the floor as she grabbed the pile of clothes next to the sleeping dog. Duke, not too pleased with his hiding spot being found, followed her as she walked out to the laundry room with a pile of Calum's clothes.

"He's not going to be too happy with you, knowing that you're stealing his clothes for your den." she laughed, patting the dog’s head as she put the clothes in the washing machine. "Gonna have to use those puppy dog eyes to your advantage, baby grampa." she chuckled, walking out to the kitchen to make herself lunch.

Calum had the worst day. The studio had never been a stressful place for him, not until today. Nothing he'd written made sense, all the notes he'd try to play were off, and to make matters worse, the heating didn't work, meaning the guys all had to work in a cold studio for over ten hours. His throat hurt from singing lines over and over again, his fingers in pain from plucking the strings of his bass all day long. Even now as he drove home, he was stressed, his fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly as he tried to navigate the LA traffic. Pulling into the driveway, Calum felt a sense of relief as he spotted her car, knowing he was coming back home to her returning that warm feeling in his stomach.

The house smelled like apples and cinnamon when he walked in the front door. Calum's eyes closing as he took in the scent of the candles that were lit all around the house. He glanced around the kitchen and living room, his eyebrow raising as he didn't spot the small dog or his girlfriend anywhere. Walking over to his office, he set down his bag that held his laptop and other things he used in the studio. Once his bass was safe in the spot he always left it, he made his way over to the bedroom, pushing the door open and peeking his head inside to find them both snuggled under the covers, the light from her laptop illuminating her face.

"Hi gorgeous," he mumbled as his feet dragged against the floor as he made his way over to the bed. His body collapsed onto the bed next to her, a yawn leaving him as he felt her arms wrap around his frame and pull him close. "Missed you today, was a bad one." he sighed, his eyes closing as her fingers ran through his hair, scratching gently at his scalp. She listened to him as he ranted about his day, about how nothing seemed to work out for him today, about how the cold seeped into his bones and made everything hurt. He told her about how tired he got sometimes and how he really just missed her as he drove back home.

"I have a surprise for you," she said softly as his voice turned from angry words to soft whispers. "I found your shirt." she nodded, chuckling as he lifted his head up from where it laid on her chest. His eyebrow quirking up as he leaned against his elbows, his head tilted to the side as he waited for the rest of her story.

Slipping out of bed, the cold floor made her grateful that she was wearing fuzzy socks, she walked over to the closet where the had hidden the laundry basket away from Duke. Calum's eyes widened as he saw the basket full of clothes he'd thought he'd lost while on tour or she'd taken into her closet.

"I was cleaning the room today, saw something hiding under the bed." she chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed while holding the basket, "Looks like a certain baby grampa was making a den under our bed and had wanted to have some of his dad's clothes with him." she smiled, looking over at Duke, whose ears had perked up at the mention of him.

Calum chuckled as he looked between the basket full of clothes and the small dog who was wagging his tail excitedly at both of his people. He looked through the basket, grinning as he saw the Sensation shirt, his Empathy hoodie, even his iconic Maine shirt was folded neatly in the basket. It warmed his heart, knowing that the small dog had wanted a piece of him to have while he was away, it made him happy to know that he was wanted in his little family. He was also grateful for her, knowing that she'd do whatever she could to make him happy, even when a missing shirt was just the thing that made him spiral into his own brain. And that night, as sleep overtook them both, he couldn't help but pull her closer to his chest, the feeling of the Empathy hoodie she was wearing Calum had never felt more loved and warm, even in the chilly fall night.

#calum hood imagine #5sos imagines #5sos blurbs #calum hood blurb #5sos one shot #calum hood one shot #calum hood #5sos #gemma writes #anon requested

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teddy-feathers · 6 years

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Mom said once "I hope you feel better tomorrow" and I got upset I think because honestly this isn't going away. Ever. I just get to live with this the rest of my life and at the time I was really upset.

I think it was because I was scared that there was never going to be a better tomorrow.

But just because I'm not going to get better doesn't mean I'm not going to be able to cope with it all better. That I won't learn to take care of myself in a way that makes my tomorrows better.

And yeah there's going to be shit days. Hell even some of my best days can be pretty shitty.

And no I'm not going to be okay.

And lord knows I'm sorry you have to deal with me on shit days...

But I also... My shit days are still me. And while I'm also hoping for a better tomorrow, that I'm coping better then wont change that I'm still me at my worse.

I'm hoping for better tomorrows but I'm also trying to learn and force not only myself but the world around me to accept and realize that I still am me and you still have to meet me at my level when I'm not okay.

It's exhausting and practically impossible for me to hold myself to the standards I used to try for - that even when I'm not okay I'm okay, that I still can push myself to comform to how I "should" be.

I'm not hoping for a better tomorrow to cut out the parts of me I dont like anymore, to suddenly get a handle on shit and be able to just not have shit days.

I'm hoping for a better tomorrow where I allow myself to exist as I am. Where other's do too.

And again yeah maybe I'll learn some neat tricks that'll let me turn thirty spoons for a week into fifty or stop me from loosing all the spoons and struggling to find the god blessed drawer or whatever metaphor you prefer, but this is me.

It doesn't stop being me because I'm having a shit day. Doesn't stop being me because I desperately dont want to exsit and I indulge in wallowing in thst feeling, doesn't stop being me because I'm difficult at the time or its inconvenient for myself or some one else that I'm not okay.

My being exceedingly problematic doesn't mean I have to sequester myself away until it passes just so its not uncomfortable for other people.

Depressed!Me and Anxious!Me don't get turned into Functioning!Me and suddenly forget that underneath all the finery I'm still a pumpkin - that I'm NOT avpd!Me just because today is a better day.

And just because you can make pumpkin pie doesn't mean you have to or that ...

Any ways I lost track of my thought

I think...

People try to tell you dont let your whatever define you. The thing is is that it comes across as "even though you are this thing, you dont have to be" which isnt true. You ARE that thing. Youre so much more sure but ignoring that and pretending that the "good" is all thats there is denying a very real part of you that is STILL THERE even on the best days or the ones where it doesn't effect you.

"You can get better - dont be anti recovery - it isnt healthy to - " some things dont get better and thats honestly okay...

Or it should be.

I mean. I have brown hair. My coloring it doesn't change that its brown. My trying all the tricks in the book might not stop it from growing no matter what I do to eradicate it or stoping the fact that its a real part of me. My choosing not to color it doesn't make it less brown, my not fighting it and accepting that I'll always be hairy doesnt make me

Look

Just look okay?

Knowing what is wrong with me and saying yeah this is my problem it defines me

isnt necessarily a problem like everyone seems to want to make it out to be

So MUCH of my life makes sense, my desicions and actions and feelings

Like if i went out and got an eval that said "im a quiet person" and yall said "dont let that define you! You can be loud and talkitive!" Like yeah sure allow me to just rewrite myself to please you. Allow me to just make myself feel like shit for being soft spoken and force myself to fight it instead of making it work for me or learning to work around it.

And who knows maybe youre write. Maybe if i work at it someday ill have out grown my problems. Great. It definitely wont be because I tried every thing in the book to make the problem go away.

Hell who knows maybe im full of shit or this only applies to me but

The problem isnt the problem its our attitudes about the problem.

On a personal level

On a social and societal level

Like fucking hell let people have problems

Let people deal with those problems

People ARE more then their problems but whenever someone tells me - regaurdless of what is meant - to not define myself by my problems all I see is "your slip is showing tuck it back in"

Like dude we have so many lables to try and define and explain and communicate who we are.

The problem isnt that im happily waving around "problem flag number 5" its that you dont want that to be part of the main show when damn if it dont kinda carry the plot.

Its a fundamental part of who i am and NONE of my life made any sense before it was pointed out.

"Why didnt you, why did you, what do you mean you dont know how csn you not know?!?"

Dude its because Im avpd.

Oh teddy ran away from home and lived on campus and ate out of a trash can for a week or two

Or teddy didnt tell anyone she didnt want to do this if she had just said something

Oh teddy why dont you want to go back to school i dont want you to waste your fine mind

Teddy learn from our mistakes, ask for help, use our experience!

Teddy youre not stupid so why are you acting like it

Just seriously there is so.much in my life where I and every one around me was going "why are you doing that you dont even want to be doing that it DOESNT make any sense"

And i was left floundering to explain things I couldnt explain.

A good 80% if not more of my life is because of or directly related to my problem.

I am defined by it - hell I am who I am because of it.

And yeah I'm hoping for a better tomorrow but like i said its still going to be a huge chunk of who i am.

Maybe its like cowardice. If you're brave you gotta admit you were afraid. The more bravery it took to do something the bigger coward you really are. We all want to be a brave dude but we pretend like a brave dude aint just a coward who ran screaming despite himself towards the thing he didnt want to do.

"Youre not a coward, don't let fear define you!" Dude I'm the biggest fucking coward and even if tommorrow I walk through the valley of the shadow of death with a song on my lips that wont change the fact I AM a coward.

Also I dont have to define my successes by anyone elses standards.

Maybe my act of bravery today was not brushing my hair, not finding my name badge, not wearing my work boots. I mean yeah most days i manage the mage those things but TODAY it was a trial to go to work - in fact i was 20 mins late.

And hell if i loose my job again? Do you get to say im letting my problems get the best of me? Fuck no. You dont get to say shit.

I get to say i have my problems i cant deal with this. I wont deal with this.

Im not letting it define me, im accepting my own limitations and no longer killing myself trying to pretend that there's a cheat code to get around them.

Just whatever. Too long a rant and my phones dying. Love you.

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