#self dectructive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brodycrimson · 4 years

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Why am I lying on the floor ?

My chest is tighter than before. I felt too much then, I didn’t feel anything, then nothing at all. I felt as though I needed to put up another wall to hide myself but then that day came. That night, it was quiet and everyone was asleep. I wrote no note, nothing, I just needed to decide. I blocked the door to the bathroom and I tried to swallow the bottle. I did and waited but nothing happened, so I took my sharp object and slashed across my wrists and legs and body until I was covered in blood and crying out of pain. Still, I continued to live. I sobbed and sobbed until I heard movement from another room in my house and covered my mouth with my hand. I waited and waited until they went to sleep again and cleaned up my mess.

The next day my sister noticed that we were missing a bottle of pills. I pretended to not know anything. I wore jumpers and covered all of my skin and spoke less, smiled less and hid to cry. I went to school and spoke to barely anyone.

I didn’t want anyone to know, I didn’t want to explain myself and why I did it in the first place. All I could think about is why didn’t it work. That was until I felt unwell from the pills I swallowed. They still don’t know, nobody does.

#suicidalattempt #suicidal #selfharm #self dectructive #overdose #my failed suicidal attempt

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tench · 3 years

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So, the horror podcast has ended so I can finally finish it without putting myself into a self-dectruction hell-pit!

It's kind of stupid but with the amount of uncertainty of the real world, I can't go with ongoings. I need to know the ending. Even a little bit of stress can overwhelm and break. I need to take care of myself.

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sea-lestial-dream-witch · 5 years

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Kyanite

Info: This versatile crystal is especially useful for beginner witches, as it does not need to be cleansed. This is because it never garners negative energy, much like citrine. Kyanite comes in a vast number of colors: orange, gray, white, pink, and yellow. It’s most commonly blue, or blue with striations of indigo, white, black, and green. My kyanite blades are translucent blue with white streaks. You can see the characteristic sheen of the crystal, and how it grows in an elongated fashion, creating the appearance of a blade.

Uses: - encourages communication and opening of the mind - amplifies psychic and telepathic abilities - brings people together - allows truth to surface - encourages rational & logical thinking - strengthens unity and fairness ~it can aid in a number of situations, such as disputes, mending relationships, negotiations, and dealing with difficult people - helps people find common ground when it’s most needed - excellent for tackling self-dectructive habits and behaviors - can aid memory - improves sense of belonging around others - wonderful tool for physical & emotional healing

To cleanse: You don’t need to cleanse this crystal! To charge: You don’t need to charge this crystal!

[my gifset, sources: 1, 2, 3]

Learn about Titanium (Rainbow Aura) Quartz!

sigils • witch tips • emoji spells • researched posts • recipes

🌊sea star witch🌟

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heavensickness · 4 years

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i've been bottling things and keeping myself calm for such a long time that i forgot how to express my anger. i'm afraid that i will have a "catharsis" soon and it will be horrible and self dectructive, but i can't do anything about it

#journal

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mamamidnight · 7 years

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Tarot Reading For comet-tea

@comet-tea: I don't mind both, the haunted house definitely sounds interesting!

Comin’ right up. And yes, I’m doing these by candle and lamp light cause I’m a walking cliche.

Basic Spread:

Past - Judgement in Reverse: Weakness, Cowardess, Deliberation, Decision, Sentence (as in the meaning like, jail time). In the past, as far as the cards say, you were weaker, more cowardly, and were quick to jump to decisions, those perhaps born of anxiety and assumption.

Present - The Empress in Reverse: Light, Truth, The Unraveling of Involved Matters (drama you were involved with ending, or at least you part in it), Public Rejoice. Currently, you’re getting better! You’re learning about yourself, recognizing your flaws and being open about them, causing the weight on your shoulders to slowly come off. Maybe you learned more about who will stick by you during this self dicovery due to past drama.

Future - Death: End, Mortality, New Beginnings, Transitioning, Transformation, Dectruction. I always view this card as a positve one! In the future, you’ll wipe your slate clean and start over, tearing down the negativity pre slate cleaning, remembering that life is short and you can’t spend any more time on worrying about the past/reminding yourself of previous negativity and making yourself relieve it.

Haunted House Spread:

Skeletons In The Closet (The secrets you keep from others) - Page of Pentacles in Reverse: A squandering of resources, unfavorable news, giving or spending freely, etc. You’ve spent a bunch of money on things that were trivial or unimportant, making you feel a bit embarassed about it to the point where you don’t mention your prior spending to others if you could avoid it out of fear of judgement.

The Rats In The Basement (The secrets you keep from yourself) - The Five of Swords in Reverse: Destruction, dishonor, degredation, loss, burial. You don’t want to acknowledge it, but it’s always at the back of your mind. Something in your past caused your weakness, anxiety, and cowardice in the past. Something that has been buried deep inside you for a very long time. You feel like you lost something of yourself due to a betrayal of some sort, be it to self via self destruction (being to critical on yourself, not treating yourself right), dishonor (worrying about those around you feeling ashamed to know you), or degredation (something you were made to do that made you feel lesser), or some combination of the three.

The Black Cat In The Parlor (What makes your claws come out?) - Knight of Pentacles: A readiness to be used, righteousness, utility, responsibility. This can be aimed by you at yourself or others. Always being the one needing to be responsible, on top of their game, utilized for their talents or skills... it pisses you off that people put all that pressure on you or someone you care about.

The Jack ’O Lantern In The Kitchen (What, or who, would you like to carve up with a knife?) - Knight of Wands in Reverse: Division, interruption, discord. People trying to start shit with you or people you care about. You fucking hate drama, especially those who try to create something out of nothing.

The Ghost In The Bedroom (What, or who, haunts your mind and thoughts?) - Five of Pentacles in Reverse: Disorder, chaos, ruin, discord. Your anxiety of things going horribly, horribly wrong always clings to the back of your mind, creeping its way into your thoughts. It ranges from those passing thoughts during the day to those thoughts that keep you up at 3 am.

The Spider In The Bathroom (What totally creeps you out?) - Five of Wands in Reverse: Trickery, Contradiction, Disputes. When people are emotionally abusive to yourself or others. Even the idea of it makes your skin crawl, that you could be in that situation and not even know it. That someone was gaslighting yourself or a friend and you were unaware. It’s creepy to think about.

The Bats In The Attic (What drives you to the brink of madness?) - Knight of Swords in Reverse: Ruling with an iron fist, misuse of authority, prying eyes, what one doesn’t know. God, does it piss you off that there are people out there that just... aren’t compassionate or kind. They’re childish, thinking they’re free to do anything, trying to get into your business or control you. Frankly, you’ve had enough.

The Front Door (The way out of all this insanity) - The Fool: A new beginning, an ending of old life BUT with a certain risk to it, though you’re optimistic. You need to get out of your comfort zone in order for your new life to begin. It’s going to be uncomfy, but you’ve got it in your mind that it WILL work out. Keep your chin up.

#comet-tea #witchy stuff

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