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nightowlgunner · 3 years

Text

Her

It was like June 2020 when I started playing with Kristine. That was also the time na she got laid off so we got the chance na magkalaro sa game full time. It was also the time na, I slowly opened up to her. Because I have strong walls eh, I do not let people come in my life easily. Since Kristine looks sincere and a listener to me, I gave her the way to get in. I talk about my rants about how my day goes and my relationship status with Joan. There is something about her that makes me want to know her more. There are many things na napagkakasunduan namin that leads to laughing and feeling na magaan lang kausap. I also liked that she is interested in the Game that I am playing, We shared things from the moment she started playing pc games back then, her ex gf's, her dramas in life, her fam, her girlfriend but not too much of it. She shares her problem too, the same goes with me.

Back then, I got curious about Kristine because of the stories that I have heard from Joan about her and her ex-gf and the toxicity of her relationship with Rose.

I admit she got my sympathy. Reminded me of my past relationship and how she handled it. Later on, whenever Kristine goes back here in Manila for a vacation, she always invites us. So I have no choice but to go with Joan though I am way too shy na makihalubilo sa mga tao.

By the first time that I met Kristine she was with her ex-gf Siena. There was nothing special or any thing that I felt. I was just nervous meeting her. Idk. Because I feel like she is intimidating. It was just a stage of knowing her, but she was nice naman. That time I remember Joan blocked her on my fb friend's list because of some reasons that i am not sure of, like Jealousy. Joan is always jealous which make me feel like hindi ako katiwa tiwalang tao. Lol. Grabe lang. And since then, Kristine unblocked me.

Way back 2018, I casually message her, like saying Hi, Hello, a little update of my day, and a little sharing of how me and Joan is doing.

I remember that it was also the time that she is trying to open up about her problems with Siena and so i made a GC where me, Joan and tine are messaging so she will not think too much back in Dubai.

I think she was on the verge of breaking up with Siena?

I have work back then so our exchange of messages was not that constant.

Joan used to rant at Kristine about me and how our life have been, which I do not like. Kasi nahihiya ako na kailangan pa ilabas ang mga bagay bagay na hindi naman dapat. There are times I feel uncomfortable kapag sinasabihan din ako ni Tine about our probs. But i just shrugged it off na lang.

It was also the time that I am focus to Joan too.

'Til Pandemic came. I am so happy may kalaro na ako sa game and that is her. Most of the time we play during afternoons, we also got the chance to try voice call each other on Messenger.

Then there goes the story, we talk a lot, shared a lot and our game time is way fun because she is a good team mate.

She was a good listener. And she understands me. Not all the time she is in favor of me, there are times she helps me understand things.

But most of the time, She makes me feel valid.

August came and Joan celebrated her birthday.

September and I celebrated mine, and I received a gift from her, it was a cake. She told me in Whatsapp that it was for me only. She just made it look like it was also for Joan since she never gave her any present last month.

October came, and I decided to make a surprise for her birthday, I'm talking about Kristine here. And so I did. We call her through VC in Messenger and I greeted her in my Facebook Gaming page, and made an appreciation post for her in my IG, which she really liked.

November came and I broke my thoughts to her. It was my nephew's birthday, Ethan.

I told her through Whatsapp that I liked her. That I liked her back then because of some reasons like, She went through hell in her relationships yet she stood up, etc. and my curiosity ate me.

I told her I might not feel uncomfortable talking to her because she already knew my secret that I like her. Then Kristine said, Bakit naman?

I asked her am I not likeable? She answered me, it's not that I am not likeable, she also said that she knew that I am a good person, and she reminded me that it was wrong. I told her I have no intentions of ruining her and Kamille. I just wanted her to know that I liked her, period.

Then we played a game, shared some secrets and stuff, because I started to trust her na.

Then as days goes by, we play constant and we talk mostly.

She even shared to me the time she went to sleep over with workmates because Kamille and her had an argument. We had our first Video Call in Messenger the next day before she go to work. Send me photos that I asked her too cause I am not seeing her lately.

We still talk even at her work hours, I listen to her work rants and stuff.

Then came an issue of this gaming headset that she wants to give me without malice as claimed by Kristine. Joan did not like the gesture. So, we talked secretly and talk about it. We agreed not to pursue the headset anymore.

December came and yah, we still play. I found out she resigned at her work.

I had an issue with a basher of my page, so I have to deactivate my gaming page and make an investigation who the hell is she.

So my attention draws closer to the game itself and also Kristine. and stop streaming for a while, She decided to install the Global server instead of using Garena for months because she is running out of VPN's to use for free anymore.

I felt like we have this kind of understanding where she gets me. And she agreed. But sometimes she sends me mixed signals.

I came to a point where I became confused.

I felt the need to share this because I am having these "time bomb" like feelings that if I cannot find a way to consult it to other person i am gonna explode and became clingy at her.

So I brought my classmate back in High School named Annarie, who prefers to call herself Pacsy. We play in Garena sometimes and we chat in Messenger too. I shared her my thoughts about Kristine. And I decide to her to be like the observant of the girl I liked if she feels the same way to me.

There are times that I felt jealous whenever there is a guy flirting with her on the game and sometimes she makes me feel that she is jealous too when I do the same.

And then came February, we had an argument.

My thoughts went confused, concern at Pacsy, and at the same time jealous.

Felt bad because we made a promise to each other to be open and not keep secrets. But things fail.

I broke down and cried.

Then came Joan who confronted Kristine, and Pacsy without me knowing it because I was asleep when Joan hacked my phone. I lost all of my phone datas and apps.

And I did not like it. Joan should have talked the proper way but instead choose to hysterical all the time.

She discovered that, there is something between me and Kristine based on our exchange of chats in Messenger.

Since I'm woman enough to admit my fault, I did.

I admit that I fell to Kristine.

Joan blocked her in my Messenger first.

And next is IG.

CODM became an exception.

It was a week of pain and confusion and discoveries.

I have discovered that She admits that she felt the same way for me.

That she doesn't want to lose me too.

That I am important to her, that she thinks of me by the time we lost our communication for like a week and more.

She was the one who initiated a contact.

I knew in my heart she wants it.

Let me just have a detailed flashback:

FEB 17: That night, we played, me, Pacsy and her. Dhanush invited me. I said sorry to them. And Kristine drop this line that it will be the last time she will talk to US. So I distant myself.

FEB 18: It was like 5pm, I called Pacs and I apologized to her of what happened and I cried because of what I feel in my situation. I told her, it was so hard to tell Joan that I fell in-love with her friend.

I asked Pacs not to update Kristine about me anymore because I wanna distant too.

FEB 18: 10:30 PM Pacsy texted me that Ktine asked her a favor to tell me that Joan is attacking her on messenger. I just said, it was noted.

FEB 19: Vertigo attacked me.

FEB 26: I received an XP rewards from Kristine. Just to be clear, giving away XP rewards is customized, you are the one who will choose who to give it to. And with that gesture, I knew in my heart she wants to talk and play with me. The past days Dhanush has been chatting me whenever he is playing with her. I told Dhanush I cant because she does not want to talk to me anymore and I wanna keep my distance too.

FEB 27-28

I played in CODM that night and I message her in the app, and invited her to play. Just a duo. At first she said, "Hi joan." then I told her, "Hindi nuh, hahaha." Then we play both off mic. And I notice she is messaging me while playing and says she misses me. "imy" I asked her "Kumusta" etc. At first I did not want to answer back I miss her too, because I am doubtful that it might be Kamille who's playing, but again, I knew it was her. So I told her, I miss this duo. Then she replied ":(".

Its like we had 2 games only, I said goodbye yet she tried to invite me again for another round for a squad with Dhanush but I have to leave the app and so I did.

FEB 29

We talked in CODM Global server app. We did not play instead we just talked. She told me she created an account in deviantart.com which is a website for artists, I actually have account there for art purposes. However she cant find my account there so I suggest how about Twitter. She opened up to me that day, as I remember, she apologized to me of the things she have done like how she cracked my secret to Joan etc. She said she does not normally say sorry to anyone yet she is doing it for me that day. I asked her if, "hindi ba kapani paniwala kapag ako ang nagsabi na mahal kita?"

She answered, she feels things the same way. She understands that my IG stories was for her mostly, and I claimed it. She told me she was scared to lose communication with me, that sometimes she feels like she's using another person just to get connected at me. And I get what she is saying. She said that she felt something for me.

I am sorry but the words we shared felt like... there is something.

Days have gone by, We played again. However I am hiding it.

I made a letter for her by using a website app. I told her everything there.

We also both made a Twitter account. Obviously, we missed each other.

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andyaxo · 5 years

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i had known that lostinsantacarlo was a homophobic asshole but i didnt know she was transphobic (i mean, i suspected but other than her "i perceive the lost boys as straight males" comment i didnt have much to go on for the transphobia) but thank you for saying something because im sick of her -_-

This is probably gonna be a long answer so my apologies. To you and whoever else is reading this in advance

Yeah man you're welcome and anytime. This has been something that's been going on before, even before I made these posts and called her out. Because this is something that STILL needs to be said. Like in the beginning sure I thought the blog was cool, I've left them some asks in the past but, slowly I've started noticing and seeing her behavior especially how she portrays the guys and how she goes out of her way to "correct" people. It's still clearly an issue, because she is still fucken doing it. Nitpicking, controlling, and using "oh it's canon because I said so, and you're wrong" type of excuse just to project her cis, homophobic, transphobic, and racist behavior. It's bad enough she talks over people of color, and lgbtq youth in the fandom. She's in no position to be telling us what's canon or not that's one and second she's a fucken bully, that knows exactly what the fuck she is doing. I hate that she acts like some "mother figure" when she does the complete opposite. She'll belittle you, and act like you're beneath her, that she "owns" the characters/film. She acts like she has sources when she purposely steals from others, sends people to stalk others that have blocked her, and mainly discredits anyone who actually sourced info from the film and claim it as her own. Her stories never add up keep that in mind. I doubt she has contributed in any way of form with the film. And even if she did help on some small part of a book, that doesn't make her the boss to tell us what is and what isnt. She goes out of her way to press and press her own opinions and try to tell others how they're wrong because, the way they portray the characters don't fit into what she likes. She has no respect for other's posts or writings, or art, cosplay etc. Uses the whole "I don't agree this but its cool anyways LOL" type of comments, it's all really condescending. Because she just wants desperately for others (especially those new to the fandom and film) to believe that she is in charge when obviously she's not in charge of shit.

For sure my issue here with her is EVERYTHING, and is her being a bully, and then acting like she was the one being bullied. She lies. Alot. And it's so cringy because this is a 40yr old white woman. That clearly doesn't have alot to do and just keeps acting out onto others. And then excuses it or flip the narrative like "oh woe is me, I'm not devious or evil" she's blocked me for calling her out, she's blocked my friend especially when all my friend did was confront her POLITELY example down here my friend tells her this..

And then Jen goes and sends my friend this after that post being over dramatic and clearly not fucken reading what my friend tells her..

The first one sounds innocent right?

But then she goes and says this to my friend on her IG

Instead of being an adult and LISTENING she just quickly blocks her not even bothering to read what my friend has explained to her or even apologized. She(Lostinsantacarla) does some fucked up shit, and allows her friends/followers to go and bully others that don't agree with her. She's done it before and she's done it especially to my friend. And as that all is happening she then does some post about "keeping the peace" when she knows exactly what's going on.

Over all she's not a good person she's toxic as fuck and her behavior will never change. I feel very sorry for those that believe her sob story and even justify or try to even excuse her behavior. Like just because you went through shit DOESN'T give you a pass to a toxic piece of shit to others. At all.

Followed by her telling my friend to get rid of her post. Again acting like she wants no ill will etc.

Here's some more examples of her being a condescending and nitpicker

This 1st one was what she told someone I used to be friends with(they are those people that excuse her behavior and even try to Justify it too, after going on a full rant why they hate how she acts but that's a topic for another day) about my friend V. Spreading rumours that aren't true. She talks about people behind their backs and then acts like she loves you to your face.

Another fact that ex friend( who's account is deactivated) doesn't know my friend V. That was a false statement on his part. But again that's a story for another time.

And then this is her(lostinsantacarla) recently too telling that same individual that I'm no longer friends with this about their favorite character Paul

Now I understand others not wanting to be involved etc. Cuz she is a bully and maybe they are scared of her. But I'm not and I don't care. I rather do something about it, than sit by and stay quiet. Because it's gonna keep getting worse and I don't want people like her to leave others in the fandom feeling like they can't express themselves the best they know how or even enjoy the film. She's a fucked up person. And is in no position to tell anyone what to do. And I don't pity her because she knows what she is doing.

And I'm just glad I'm using my platform, my voice to speak up. If others don't that's fine. Just know I won't stop using my voice at all. And expose her for what she really is.

Don't be fooled by her guys lostinsantacarla isn't a good person and her behavior won't change ever. Her behavior is unacceptable and you can't excuse that. At all. She's been doing this shit forever and even with all these call outs she STILL does it and then acts like a victim when really she is the problem. She's the bully and she knows it. She just loves to disguise herself like the victim.

I'm just proud that you see it and it makes me proud that some are actually noticing this. USE YOUR VOICE AGAINST FOLKS LIKE HER!!

If she calls me a bully that's fine. I know I'm not, neither is my friend V. I just don't tolerate bigots like her. Her manipulative and toxic behavior I don't let at all slide.

#im just doing my part #andyaxo #me #asks #answered #stoping the real bullies here #Lostinsantacarla #lostinsantacarla is trash and we want her gone now!!#lostinsantacarla #The Lost Boys #80s #the lost boys 87 #the lost boys 80s #asks and answers #thank you #mullet69

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