#sad. i am just mad because i am angry)

[thegoldenhoof]

I think about this interview a lot.

I think about how Jenkins thinks queer romances end up tragic/unrequited.

How these queer romantic characters deserve a happy ending.

How he gave this as an answer to the question about the death of the one character whose arc was very much queer and very much not romantic.

Its great to be able to see yourself in fairytale romances.

It would be still more amazing if those of us for whom romance was not in the picture and probably will never be could see our fantastical queer happy endings too....

But of course... How could you possibly tell happy queer stories without romance. Being queer is all about Love is Love after all /s

#this is not about me being mad at the show or Jenkins in all honesty #just mad in general about amatonormative queer representation where other queer stories IF present are sidelined to the main couple(s). #i am mad because Izzy's growth as a queer person is perhaps one of the most amazing queer arcs I have ever seen not centered on romance. #or without being slotted into a specific lable #and for a few days it was fucking glorious #and now that joy will always be followed by the vague bitterness of knowing that happy endings are not meant for you. #P.S. for idiots who can't different between criticism of a piece of media and name calling a person #i am not calling Jenkins homophobic or what ever other leaps of logic y'all make to build your strawman. #izzy hands #ofmd #david jenkins #queer media critical i suppose? #critical #this is also about the general decrease of queer vibe with the loss of the polyarmourous plots.. #but thats a whole other post in itself #this not a angry post. just a sad post

[themyscirah]

Thinking about current continuity Vanessa and just getting pissed off again

Like one, LET HER REST oh my god dc you ruin her FUCKING life like an asshole only to bring her back as a villain after she finally got out oh my god-

But also like its just so bad. This is a whole other woman with her name like why are we doing this. Like first you kill her mom (JULIA NOOO) and erase her YEARS of history growing up around diana (the thing that actually made her villain turn [if you can call it that w the level of manipulation involved] interesting and fucking heartbreaking) for some shitty "oh I saved you we were friends" run of the mill whatever. Then to use that and say Nessie had a crush on her OWN SISTER (Diana, so like informally adopted, but still 😡) now????

And then they took away her curls and made her a redhead but not even the realistic kind. DC SHE DOESNT LOOK LIKE THAT

It just makes me so mad. Freaking guys. They could have used another name like oh my god. She's not even the first silver swan why the fuck would they do that if they're not going to explore her history w diana (which she no longer has!!!!) or how intensely fucked up everything got for her. What is even the fucking point of this then other to drag a main character of the ww supporting cast through the mud again for genuinely no reason. They could have easily had her be Valerie Beaudry (sorry Val) instead or just MADE UP ANOTHER NAME because it's obvious that no one actually cared about her as a character they just wanted the wondy villain back so like !!!!!!!!!! Why even bother

#her entire treatment just makes me so angry #like in general it makes me mad and sad and a million other emotions #but the fucking robinson version just makes me enraged. beyond pissed off. because theres no fucking reason for it its bullshit and its the #one in current continuity right now. so i get to see tom king ww panels put on my dash that have this stupid fake vanessa and its so #infuriating. like thats NOT her!!!!!!! oh my freaking god people #her hair is BROWN and CURLY and shes dianas BABY SISTER who she lived with for YEARS like she was a MAJOR supporting ww character for the #longest time. like shes got about 100 appearances (just checked) preboot this is not a minor character #so freaking frustrating #blah #ALSO. FUCKING ALSO. THE FACT THAT THE WHOLE CURRENT VANESSA TURNED EVIL BC SHE REALIZED SHE WASNT SPECIAL TO DIANA BS. FUCK YOU THERE LIKE #OH MY GODDDDD “isnt special to diana” im going to fucking kill you. what do you mean she doesnt care about her specially. thats her FUCKING #BABY SISTER. not to sound like vanessa herself a la silver swan but those clowns at dc would never say that shit about cassie oh my god #not special my FUCKING ass. nessie and her mom were literally the first people invited to themyscira in post coie continuity #like yes diana trevor and steve trevor and even baby julia kapetelis washing ashore but like the kapetelises (and you could even say just #nessie bc again her mom had been there before) were the FIRST ones invited there like you cannot say diana didnt care about them more than #the average joe dc i fucking despise you. #this girl has been through so much why is dc incapable of throwing her a bone ever. nessie i am so sorry they did that to you sweetie. #gonna tag it bc her tag deserves the traffic #vanessa kapatelis #just makes me so mad #doing all that to the normal teen girl character in a wonder woman comic is so fucked actually like dc comics i should not have to explain #that to you. what message do you think you are sending here be serious

[lemonduckisnowawake]

Me, today: I will not get angry about people slandering Jesus. I will not lose my temper seeing yet another post throwing His character in the garbage as some politically woke or politically conservative people pleaser. I will not stab my hand with a fork when I see people poking fun at his friendships as homoerotic - *sees a post like that and slowly steps out of the internet*

No seriously. I am shaking the screen and BEGGING people to remember that even though Western Christian traditionalism has deep, *deep* wrongs, There Are Literal People Dying And Being Tortured Because Of Their Faith In Christ In The Modern World. And the way I see people making light of faith and outright mocking it or "dumbing it down" to appeal to their own moral worldview is sometimes kind of painful

#lemon duck quacks #i need a salt tag so people can block that.... #I'll think of one later #anyway yeah....sometimes the things i see western folk doing to Christianity makes me sigh #what is it about humanity's need to make a mockery out of the things we disagree with? #I've caught myself doing it sometimes too and it's just sad #like I've seen people make mockery out of Eastern spirituality and religions or Islam or something #and it DOES make me mad #especially when I see adherents of those religions trying to placate people by going #'oh our worldview DOES actually support yours! we're friendly to your political stance :)' #when no. NO. you guys don't have to defend your worldview like that??? #worldviews are called such because they're different and there WILL be times when moralities clash against each other! #DRAMATICALLY #and it's up to you to see if you can keep being friends/interacting with someone who has a drastically different moral standard than you #and if you can't there is no reason to try and make their religion/worldview fits yours or whatever #this is aimed at Christians too who try and force non-Christians to see things through their perspective btw #also just because you hate someone's viewpoint because it's objectively wrong to you doesn't mean you have to mock it or them #by all means try and deconstruct it if you want but stop making fun of it or pretending you know eeeeeverything about their worldview #sorry you guys i am VERY salty #maybe a tad bit angry but mostly salty #anyway you religious people who have studied your texts and persist in living it out even if it doesn't conform to the western world's #political worldviews (whether liberal or conservative in the us or uk or etc sense) have all my respect and 'hwaiting's #stars I'm so salty i could perseve my own meat with it

[dogboots]

blog that makes me happy vs nobody will ever take me seriously here as long as I post the way I do

#mousetalk #im aware that a lot of my biggest interests are for children. thats why this main blog looks like a seven year old designed everything #im also aware of how silly i tend to look to anybody who isnt myself. 'adult who likes things for children“ isnt really something you Want #to be known as because this makes you look stupid to folks who do not have or understand the childish stuff #which is pretty understandable. i do look silly taking cartoon dogs seriously and being converned over toy rabbits feelings and whatnot #im not so oblivous as to pretend that i dont lol #i just wish i could enjoy these things and still be taken seriously! im not angry at people for deciding they wont or deciding they dont #like me or deciding im some sort of strange freak who will never grow up. its valid when you consider the everything else about me. #just wish it didnt have to mean that any and all footholds i have in adult spaces werent null and void you know #itd be nice if the two things could coexist. #im really only rambling in the tags like this because having this childish blog as my main ends with me being blocked a Lot #which again! im not mad about! people can choose to interact with who they like and form whatever opinions they want #im just a little sad is all. i have plenty of (mature even!) interests outside of things like stickers or stuffed animals but i cant really #interact with these things here without somebody inevitably looking my way and going oh. another immature person. goodbye #or just assuming that im a child trying to wiggle my way into adult spaces by claiming i am one. according to 1 ask i recieved a while back #i dont know. this really isnt much of a complaint is it. 'people dont take my stuffed animals seriously' is about as stupid of a problem as #it gets haha #maybe someday ill suck it up and rebrand and stop talking about baby animals on my main blog #so i could finally follow a blog for something like a horror game franchise without being blocked on sight #or greeted reluctantly and with an eyeroll haha #TLDR; if this blog stops being happy funtimes it is nobodys fault but my own for being spineless about my own interests lol #i doubt anybody is reading this wall of text (hello if you are) but dont take anything i said in here personally #enjoy what you want to enjoy. dont let me or anybody else dictate that when your life on earth is so short #this is more just me with my own trivial issues that dont matter in the grand scheme of things #okay goodnight everybody thats it for the time being

[doctor-says-im-alright]

Ive been wondering lately if I really do have bipolar with psychotic features or if I have schizoaffective. Idk why the idea of bipolar though is so offensive to me lol. I think its because I never really feel grandiose and thats just an unfair part of the bargain.

The main difference I found is psychosis symptoms outside of mood episodes. Ive been trying to figure that out, but as my moods are really long, Im not sure. I was thinking maybe that is true because this year I seem to launch into paranoia in a single afternoon instead of over months. But thats associated with a stressed mood, not anything neutral? Idk. My paranoia is generally after Ive become fully stressed, but honestly, it is possible I have delusions constantly. How do you even know? I know I have OCD but I am so fixated on death that it might be more delusional than just OCD - like I do have rituals but its mainly just stressful thoughts that Im being haunted and the proof was a dead bug.

But the past week I noticed I shifted into a different phase. Im suddenly energetic or agitated. Like laughing hysterically, talking a lot, becoming really upset or angry, sad, overwhelmed, and constantly unreasonably scared. Everything is a threat. I seem to be really focused on fires happening for some reason. I am sleeping way more than normal, actually my sleep is suddenly really stressful. I dont go to sleep unless I take meds but thats normal for me, but now I cant get up. Ill wake up and its like Im magnetised to the bed and am stuck for awhile until I actually wake up. I sleep 12-14 hours but when I look at my Fitbit data its somehow only 5-6 hours in that time Im asleep. I know it, too. Its like Im not asleep and am in my room but dreaming in it. I didnt even realize I was so upset about this until I saw a post by someone talking about training their service dog to wake them up properly and asking how to do it and I could cry with the relief if I could figure out something mine could do to help me with it.

I generally always get told Im too self aware to have any psychosis issues and I think Im good at sounding self aware but Im actually not at all. I have no idea what Im thinking or feeling, Im guessing based on any knee jerk things that may have come out. Like last year I was in the psych ward for paranoia, but I hadnt even noticed or was able to communicate, but can see it now, that I was actually in danger of attacking people because I believed they were going to kill me first, and that had been my motivation to go in. And it wasnt even the person I said I was paranoid of.

I cant even figure out if my hand hurts or not. I have no idea what Im thinking or feeling. I know Im jumpy and on level 100 of agitation. I just suddenly start crying, Im overwhelmed with proofs of life and death. If someone tells me a joke I literally cry laughing. My words are mixing up and I feel like I cant say anything. I read things Ive written and even Im like what?? What does that even say. I know I am having PTSD symptoms - thats a given with me. I know for months Ive been hyperfocused on it, its been a source of anger outbursts.

Like for some reason the thought of romance or sex or any relationship sends me into a flying rage. My dog licking my other dog disturbs me so deeply I immediately lose it and have to run outside or throw something. People talking about love and needing people makes me feel so revolted. Ive been half dating someone and they mentioned kissing and Im ready to set myself and everyone else on fire. I cant stand the thought of desire and needing someone and craving them it is disturbing and I want to be sick thinking about it. But Im not normally like this at all. Not at all.

I am asexual and aromantic and my friend keeps making sex jokes and referencing my being asexual and I swear to god Im going to throw up on him or hit him with a wooden spoon. Havent decided yet.

#does anyone else get disturbed by proofs of life #i made a list recently #mainly food bothers me the most #like people being hungry or eating just sparks deep fear in me because that proves they are alive and its a risk #its the strangest thing #because it can also completely snap me out of a rage episode #like if im mad at someone and I see them #pouring a glass of water #then i am suddenly desperately sad and scared instead of angry #how can you hate someone who is pouring a glass of water #half eaten food in the fridge is one of the most disturbing to me #but also the back of the head is a proof of life and terrible

[vulturevanity]

The people who complain about Natsuki DDLC's grumpiness wouldn't survive watching a single Haruhi episode

#been thinking about the show post-binge and I actually really like Haruhi's toxicity and why it developed #she's exactly what would happen if a 7-year old had a mid-life crisis #of course she's angry at everything. she's still a hormonal teen who thinks she's insignificant and wants to change that #normal teen angst #it just so happens that she also has literal godlike powers and people have to walk on eggshells around her so she won't blow up reality #which is why she can't be called out for her horrible behaviour #and why it's such a shock to her when Kyon gets so mad he tries to punch her #she cannot conceive of him not going along with her. that's unthinkable. he always complained but he was her most reliable follower #she's a horrible person because no one ever confronted her about it. that's all #and sometimes she managed to do something nice and every time people thanked her for it she was like “??????” #she's so used to being served unconditionally that she doesn't recognize the joy of being actually rewarded for her actions #i fucking love haruhi man. i would hate her if she was real but she's such a good unlikeable character #the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya #meanwhile Natsuki is lashing out due to being an abuse victim and basically drops the act pretty fast in both acts #i also like Natsuki but for different reasons #she doesn't recognize just how badly her situation has warped her #she's hurt and curling up into herself and biting every hand that comes close because she doesn't know if it'll hurt her this time too #and sometimes she hurts others and spirals into self-hatred and “why am i like this? ehy is this so hard? am i the problem?” #it's so sad #doki doki literature club

[citrusitonit]

thers this bitter passive aggressiveness between kids who secretly find a younger kid annoying and its really sad

#my little sister has very aggressive tendencies #she has no other playmate other than our younger cousin who she likes 2 act passive aggressive with #its sad seeing her make verbal jabs at our cousin and tries to play my callouts as 'favoritism' and 'acting weird' #ughh i try to defend my cousin when my sister starts making weird threats #like ugh idk its all so frustrating and complicated to deal with #theres so many factors to consider in her behavior and the problem is im not her psychiatrist #i recognize that shes a kid so i am patient with her and try to fill in with basic discipline #because alr our parents get irrationally angry with her so i forced myself to fix my same habit of yelling #guh idk #im just tired bro but i dont want her to grow up with that type of mindset #idk #my older sister isnt even doing anything cuz shes a pushover who bends when our younger sister just starts lashing out #i understand kids need to vent its healthy so i let her scream in her room #but what i dont allow is her hurting others just because shes mad #or smthn like that #idk im most of the time shes with me so i try to make good influences or smn #oh man this went on a long rant huh #is this considered a vent?? #ventish #vent #just in case

[boyhaunts]

sooooo insane how conditional love is. so insane.

#sry still thinking about how i am so deeply ashamed abt my own anger regarding the events of april 2022. #daph told me that hey. maybe the way that some ppl reacted to this were not actually good friends to me. #and it hurts to know they're right and it hurts to miss them all anyway. #like i can't fault them for being angry because shit i am too. all this time later i'm still mad. but they didn't even try talking to me ab #any of it. even after they knew they didn't bother. and maybe that's my own fault too because i am so chronically unforthcoming w my #feelings and struggles because i refuse to burden people with the knowledge that i have Problems so they just gave up or didn't know how #anyways. i'll probably never talk to any of them again and i don't know how to feel about them regardless. i'm just sad. #boy.txt

[aw-bean-s]

sometimes I just wish my friends liked me the way other people's seem to

#Being angry sad at my best friend hours again #I just can't believe she'd fucking do that to me so casually and not even fucking regret or be sorry a little bit #Just a fucking iota of sympathy or fuckin compassion is all I am fucking asking of you #Doesn't tell me shit then tells me I'm bad at communication #Tells anyone BUT ME about our relationship so I'm always the last to fuckin know #Doesn't tell me things for literal YEARS so I can't fuckin help then gets mad when I didn't do anything #And then she's surprised when I end up in these shitty codependent relationships with other people and don't believe that she likes me #Or wants me at all even #She's just such a fucking callous fucking hypocrite and I fucking hate her but also I can't fucking lose her #Fuck she's such a bitch sometimes #She just hurts me and then expects me to still be there in the end! #And I'm not helping myself by STILL FUCKING BEING THERE #I just wish she liked me #And saw that she has Systematically fucking destroyed my trust in other people #She hurt me and she doesn't even fucking care #And the thing is I spent so SO long thinking I was everything wrong in our friendship #That if I could just be a good enough person I'd be good enough for her eventually #But I never fuckin have been have i! Because I'm not a fuckin mind reader! #I spent so long feeling like shit and wishing I could just be better but not knowing how #And then she drops the bomb that she's been actively keeping shit from me and excluding me since 2020! So fuck me I guess! #And there's all this fucking hurt but also this weird peace of 'oh. I wasn't everything wrong.' #Which also makes me so fucking mad because if she'd just TOLD ME I couldve spent so much time NOT HATING MYSELF #For problems that I couldn't fix because she wouldn't TELL ME ABOUT THEM! #I spent so long feeling like I wasn't enough and knowing something was wrong but she wouldn't tell me WHAT #And now it's my fault that I couldn't just figure it out! Fuck off!! #She is so fucking good at making people feel like shit #And after all of this! She doesn't get why I don't belive she likes or wants me! What the ACTUAL fuck! #And now I gotta tell her all this because despite all of this I do love her and belive my life is better for having her in it #And I gotta tell her without her deciding I'm not worth it and leaving so that's fucking cool #I'm half convinced shes manipulating me so I leave her and she can be the victim of big mean Lachlan and maintain her moral high ground

[queerdesire]

FINALLY GOT A FUCKING ANSWER. Friends friends friend boys and girls 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

#mine #I am dumb af #I am all sorts of emotions right now #I feel sad upset stupid and angry #disappointed at myself #just dropped like $60 on her last night to be a distraction #had to pry out an answer of what she wanted to do or be because straight up answers are apparently hard #I guess they would be hard if you give them knowing the other person is about to stop making you feel cared and loved for #love when people use previous conversations against you and then say something like that’s a yellow flag for me but yet you have said time #and time again you don’t do yellow flags it’s either green or red you’ve said that #because of course it’s easier to pick something and not give a straight up answer #my yellow flag was i had said in the beginning I have walls up with people because I’m scared to be vulnerable #🤡🤡🤡 #probably because I’ve been used by every relationship in my life 🙃 but you know yellow flag y’all to want to be careful #I’m mad #now I’m just sad #deena when you look back at this remember you want to receive what you give if you don’t receive what you give STOP WITH THE FALSE HOPE

[puthyflapps]

She’s so damn angry. I love her so much 🥹🫶🏻

#sometimes I like to reimagine the shelter building contest in a world where Shelby and Toni were friends that came to the island #like when Toni picks Martha to be on her team and says “marty b” she would’ve chosen Shelby and said “Shelby g” #she would’ve put her arm around Shelby’s shoulders and done the whole “bam! Where’s your witness?” thing but then would’ve been mad when #Shelby still decided they should play for the takis bc “it’ll just make it more fun that way” #my heart breaks and my puthy throbs thinking about the little sad/angry face Toni makes when she says “wth are you waiting for? let’s go” 🥺 #instead of saying she and Martha would make a shelter “wigwam style” it would be her and Shelby doing it “habitat for humanity style” as a #reference to Shelby saying she worked with the org and then Shelby would have to be like “you have never step foot on a H4H site in ur life” #she’d probably also have to admit that she kind of just stood around and pretended to hammer random stuff because she had no clue what she #was doing – which is true but excludes the horrendous truth which is she also stood around and took cute pictures of herself holding tools #which ofc she sent to Toni while she was supposed to be helping #oooh also the scene where Toni is having a blowup and Shelby says “you need to take it down a notch” in this alternate universe would have l #like a different vibe to it #am I a genius? probably #the wilds #toni shalifoe

[lovely-hikari-cosplay]

Had my first cry of the semester

And it’s only week two

#not because I was like actively overwhelmed or upset or anything #I’m in a REQUIRED directing class and had a 1:1 with the prof #She’s super sweet and was just asking about our goals with this class #and like I currently at a point in my life where I don’t feel like leading or in this case directing #so I couldn’t really answer her questions since I really am just taking this clsss bc it’s required #and I like explained to her how I overthink everything and the fact that I don’t want to be a leader/director/designer right now #and Idk I guess vocalizing that flipped a switch and I just started crying #like not even sad or angry crying but just like I felt the tears come and they fell #then I was embarrassed and mad bc I couldn’t quite pinpoint att what I was crying for #in hindsight now it’s bc I still have trouble really talking about my wants and desires and I always feel like I’m selling myself short #and/or saying the wrong thing or not trying hard enough #idk it’s complicated #having anxiety + depression +recovering maladaptive perfectionism isn’t easy #especially when you still WANT to do your best in school I don’t just want to get the degree I want to put my best out there #anyway I’m gonna write her an email apologizing for the sudden tears and explain that I’m just a little hair trigger with certain things #personal

[goldenxsunshine]

.

#i’m so mad #okay so. i told my cousin i was queer and she was all sweet and supportive so that was good and i am very grateful for it #but i just had lunch with one of my sisters and she told me that another of my cousins knows. but i haven’t told her!! so i know it must be #m’y first cousin. and like. i’m mad that she shared that piece of me with her sister but at the same time i’m at a point now where its #not what bothers me the most! she also apparently shared one of my other sisters’ reaction which was not so great #BUT it’s much more complicated and nuanced than what my first cousin said to my second one #and now i’m so mad because my second cousin onviously was surprised that that one sister reacted in such a way #but i hate that i’m not sure exactly what was told because i HATE that because of this she probably is judging that one sister so badly #when she probably doesn’t know everything and now idk what to do… #i’m so fucking mad that i don’t have the control #over what has been said or how my sister has been painted #and i hate that #and also. how does my first cousin think she can share that!! again i’m sort of mad about the fact that she outed me. but it’s mostly the #thing about my sister because it doesn’t only make me angry but also so sad for my sister #because now she’s probably perceived as some sort of homophobic asshole when that is not the fucking case!!! #idk what to do. or at least idk how i’m going to

[hidden-highlands]

earlier this year i predicted that i was probably going to revert to acting like an immature teenager for a while bc idk i feel like i never got much freedom to be Messy and Angry when i actually was a teenager and i think that prediction was right. it's kind of fun tho i've been bingeing anime and listening to a lot of pop punk lately !!!!

#i spent the weekend bingeing fullmetal alchemist and reading old pokemon fanfics from like 12 years ago and being sad and mad abt boys lol #it was honestly kind of therapeutic! #and now i am listening to the same music i used to listen to when i was 15/16 and feeling v nostalgic! #i also had a big long phonecall with my mum #where i actually Talked about my problems and emotions and sought her advice for the first time in literal YEARS #and that was surprisingly nice too. i am still very angry at her for a lot of things but i've closed myself off from her so thoroughly #that i'd forgotten how it felt to feel close to her. that there was a reason why we were once super close. #and sometimes. you just need your mum yknow? #(all of that said i do want to a) go to therapy and b) get a handle on my drinking) #(because that's getting Problematic again oops.) #(like. i Wanna indulge in messy teenage-esque emotions but not at the significant detriment of myself or others. that's not cool) #kiwi speaks

[scoreplings]

also helpful for remembering that my ex is a shithead im better off not having in my life is the fact that whenever i tell anyone how our relationship ended theyre horrified by the way he acted.

#am i embarrassed i put up with that as long as i did? yea #does it make me soooo happy im not putting up with it anymore? also yea <3 #helllppp a coworker asked me about it the other day so i explained it to him #and like a half hour later he put down the dishes he was washing and was like. dude what the FUCK i cant stop thinking about how messed up #that is #LOL yea dude i know. #n i wanna say hes evil but hes not really no one is. he just refuses to be accountable for what he does and makes selfish decisions. #he did not wake up and say ‘today i will make Aj soooo so sad and hurt him’ #he woke up and said ‘i want to date this guy but dont want to stop fucking this other guy. i will simply keep the boyfriend a secret from #the guy im fucking because i know they wouldn’t be okay with it. its a good thing im doing because they’d be sad if they knew!’ #or something along those lines. #dwelling on it is not good i think i am abt to go to sleep instead #makes me sad tho. good part of me hopes he pulls his head out of his ass and realizes he should treat the people who care about him better #selfish part of me hopes he ruins every relationship he has for the rest of his life and dies alone. (<- i dont actuslly want this id be so #sad. i am just mad because i am angry) #dwelling for 1 more second actually LOL he didnt even just keep the boyfriend a secret he lied to my face about it and spent six months #telling me he didnt even like the guy and wouldn’t date because he’d never want a relationship to get in the way of what we had. teehee #and that even if he did like the guy he’d never date him because he didnt want to hurt me like that. and he loved me. LOL. #after he told me he ghosted me for a week and when i finally got him to talk he said he regretted nothing and couldnt understand why i was #upset. hahaaha. and that i should keep it to myself and be happy for him. and that he was just with the guy because he was ‘more available’ #than i was. #teehee. sorry. i am dwelling again i just cannot get over how fucked it all is #and the boyfriend was my other best friend. teehee. and they are still together even though i explained what my ex did. <3 #i cannot wait to move oh my god i need to not see this mf every day at work or im gonna never stop thinking abt it. #whateverrr. i kiss my bf in two days 💚

[greenmantle]

i have never in my life been so close to quitting my job

#i am just sad and tired and angry all of the time and i know my job accounts for like. 70% of that #and it's making me so mad because i'm supposed to love this job. i love what i do. i love the clients i work with. #but i am so tired of being met with clear evidence that they just do not care about what we do on the day to day #and are like. actively poisoning us via negligence. with mold #and then asking us to take on more. but the mold guys!! the mold that i am positive is in my floor!! the mold!!!!!