#sacrifice made me SO EMOTIONAL

[trashlie]

Hi Ashlie it's lil anon again 💗 I hope you have adjusted to your meds and had fun experimenting with gouache... That sounds cool, I wish I could do that but too bad I don't have a single creative bone in my body 😭 it's okay I'll stick to playing viddy games...

There is something I want to bring up for your consideration that's been bouncing around in my head. When Hansuke mentioned that it was hard for him to get into medical school despite his excellent grades, people concluded that Yui must have stood in his way and Hansuke's mother probably made a deal with her, correct? That felt like such a relevant tidbit that will come up again, because otherwise why the effort to draw those panels. So... I think there might be a parallel to Nol here. We know he is going to spend the 4 year time skip abroad, right? But how will he get there, when Yui is so opposed to it and needs to keep him under her thumb? So 🤔 I've been thinking maybe Rand makes a similar deal with Yui so she lets Nol go. Not sure what the details of the deal will be, but it could even be something like "I'll get the kid into any school he wants if you step down from the CEO position within the next 5 years and let Kousuke take over, and don't plot anything against me ever again". It's a big sacrifice, but it feels like Rand had some extremely harsh realizations about how miserable Nol is after finding his scarf in the pool, and then finding him bleeding in the snow and the Ivan the Terrible reference. It feels so much like he has reached his end, "it's not my message to pass along anymore" felt so pointed. I also keep thinking about how guilty Rand must be feeling. He didn't only fail his own son, he failed to protect NESSA'S CHILD ;A; someone so precious and important to her, someone she loved so dearly. Even if it was unspoken it's clear that she counted on Rand to take care of their son when she couldn't anymore, and he failed her miserably. Gawd just thinking about that makes me wanna cry 😔😭💔 So maybe this will be what pushes him to step up and actually do something useful for his child, maybe that deal will be his self-sacrifice. What are your thoughts on this? I know I might be reaching, it might be Yu Jing's article that will help Nol go abroad, and I'm very aware of the death flags surrounding Rand, and maybe he'll just die or Yui kills him and that's that. With Kousuke having all these realizations it's not unlikely that Yui gets rid of Rand so they don't become allies. But I don't want his death to be so... pointless, I guess? BE A FATHER EVEN IF JUST ONCE IN YOUR LIFE DAMMIT ;A;

On a lighter but similarly emotional note, when do you think Shinae and Nol are going to be on a first/real name basis? It might be just me but I feel like it's coming 👀 It's been said a thousand times (and good, let's manifest it 🤞🏾) that they must be on the same page by the end of season 1 for the story to flow smoothly. And that must include the names as well, right? Because the names are a big part of the distance between them and to Shinae, "Yeonggi" isn't enough anymore, she wants "Nol". And, in theory, he must first accept his name before he is comfortable with her saying it, but maybe the other way around would work better. If he lets her into the circle of people who can call him Nol even if he isn't completely ready for it, maybe that will actually be the important first step to accept himself. Because if Shinae accepts that side of him and doesn't think he's horrible, then he can't be that horrible, right. Basically a you don't have to love yourself for other people to love you and with time you can see yourself through their eyes and find that everything you dislike about yourself doesn't make you unlovable because they love you regardless type of thing. Does that make sense? I hope you understand what I'm trying to get at 😅 He also doesn't want to be vulnerable and open up as Yeonggi, it's not part of that persona. But maybe once she is on the Nol side for good, he can be more honest, because she is already there so why not. Not that he'll immediately tell her everything, obviously, but just be more honest dude just tell her that you're scared and not ready for certain conversations yet instead of putting up a front! But either way regardless of when, the moment they say each others first/real names is going to be SOOOOOO meaningful so vulnerable so intimate I will simply die on the spot I will just explode 💥 -lil anon 😼 (who still can't keep their messages short)

Lil Anon!!!!! 💗 Okay, ngl I am a big proponent of "creativity is very much a skill anyone and everyone can learn" just that some of us (and myself included lmao) need a little more effort to learn. But also gouache is so fun because I'm realizing so much of painting is about the insinuation of things, rather than painting out every detail? And it's so amazing to me to watch those things come together!!!! But also.... I am not great at video games so I guess at the end of the day we really do have our strengths and weaknesses huh? alfjakjfjfa LMAO :3

Also heads up, the last part of this response will have FP 238 spoilers!

Oooohhhh this is such an interesting thought that I HAVEN'T thought about, but I HAVE been thinking a lot about Rand (I have this messy post in the works about him because as much as he makes me angry I find him really interesting in that, like every other character, he is very much someone trying to survive and his struggles to do so have had a lot of ramifications - especially in failing to protect his son with Nessa. I understand why people hate him but I just have SO MANY FEELINGS and like how... maybe a selfish part of him kept him near, even if he couldn't be a good father to him because of Yui, because he reminded him of her, and how maybe as Nol grows up he continues to see so much of himself in him, and how in Rand's eyes that probably is bad because he very much ended up trapped, he very much lost what he loved, he has very much lived in isolation. But that's a whole other thing but the point is: Rand is on my mind so this is a very welcome question!!!!)

I'd never considered the possibility of a parallel because I guess I'd just sort of assumed that information was given to us to show us how far Yui is willing to go, that she was interfering with her own nephew's career in order to - probably - lord something over her sister, to force her to do whatever it was she wanted, that we are meant to further understand that Yui is so unstoppable even her own sisters can't do anything, and that this isn't the first time Hansuke's career has been on the line. BUT WITH THAT SAID it would make an incredibly interesting parallel! I think in a lot of ways Rand did think he was doing what was right, what he could do. I think a lot about what he said when Nol pleaded guilty, about how he should have sent him away to a boarding school and that as much as a lot of that was said out of actual anger and agitation, at the end of the day Rand cares so much because he loves Nol, even if he was never allowed to act on it, even if he had to repress it and keep it bottled away where it began to fester. Something I think a lot about parenthood in general but esp in ILY is that no one has the foresight to know how things will work out, so parents are doing what they think is best. Often they are wrong, they make mistakes, but again, we are only capable of trying to learn from our mistakes, we can't see how things would play out. Would Nol have been safer at boarding school? Would he have actually been out of Yui's reach? But that's a whole other post (that is coming)

THAT SAID I think yes Rand carries a lot of guilt and knows that he has not been able to protect either of his sons the way he wishes he could have and now he is at this sort of.... fork in the road. Until now, Nol was so very alone, has been surrounded by people who can't be trusted, people of this society who would sell him out immediately. But Rand has seen in Shinae and Nol this connection that maybe he even recognizes much like the one he and Nessa had, that Shinae is very much like she was in her willingness to reach out to and protect Nol, her willingness to stand up for him against even the scariest opponents. In the same night he nearly lost his son, he saw how many people rallied around him, were willing to stand by his side and wait for him to wake up and I think that, yes, it gave him this sense of understanding. Nol is no longer alone, and while it's not him at his side, he knows that the people who are will fight for him, are people who truly love him the way he deserved all this time. And I think that's yes why he is willing to transition out of Nol's life - because he knows that he hasn't been able to provide him the protection he needs. That he CAN'T.

And the idea of him sacrificing himself for Nol's sake (and frankly, Kousuke's, too) would be interesting, because I very much think Shinae will "sacrifice" herself to Yui in order to protect her father, will take up Yui's offer if it means keeping away from her family. What an interesting parallel it would be, too, for both of these people who have put themselves in harms way to protect those they love (I know Rand doesn't seem it, but I think he is a person who has very much been a victim of him circumstances and that he has reached a point in this story that he is willing to get hurt to protect them, that he is finally openly fighting back the way he can in an effort to protect them).

I honestly.... HATE the theory about Rand dying even though the death flags are everywhere lmao ;_____; I feel like I'm constantly closing my eyes to them because I cannot bear to think of what it would mean for both Nol and Kousuke, for neither of them to get that closure. I hate the thought of Nol being left a literal orphan, of Kousuke never knowing that he was loved, like it KILLS ME but it really feels like we're hurtling there and aflkjkafjkafjkaf [SCREAMS] I'd so much prefer that like... Rand have a heart attack that incapacities him or something ;A; - especially because Nana has her own death flags and again, the thought of Nol just being left with NONE of his family?! GOD THAT KILLS ME.

But also I am very much in favor of Rand making such a sacrifice. Something I've been thinking about is that a lot of why Rand's hands were tied was because he was trying to get this far - and now that he has, now that Nol is in safe hands, maybe it IS time to make a sacrifice, to step out of Nol's life and "set him free", if he could give Yui something she wants enough to let Nol go. The thing is.... Yui is very much aware of the effect Nol has on Kousuke, and why it's necessary to keep him around, but perhaps with what Kousuke is learning, that won't remain a matter? I think there is a LOT that is up in the air right now, but I do think we are at a point where Rand COULD make that kind of offer, where he can finally face Yui and fight back in his own way and do something to set his son free of all of this. I think I lean more sympathetic to Rand than most do but I would love to see him take an action that can actually demonstrate to Nol that Rand has always cared, that until now he didn't have other options, that until now he'd thought that this was the safest route.

(But honestly? What was ;__________;)

I JUST WANT TRAGIC FAMILY CLOSURE SOOOOOOOO BADLY AND IT HURTS ME THAT WE MAY NEVER GET IT LMAO ;A;

BUT ON A LIGHTER NOTE YES YES YES ALL OF THIS YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS ;A; once again and as always YOU GET IT YOU TOTALLY GET IT!!!!!!!!

I think Nol and Shinae's story is VERY MUCH a matter of like.... yeah, you don't have to love yourself to be loved, that's bullshit, we all know it's not true. That maybe you can learn to love yourself by being loved. That maybe through the process of being loved you can start to see yourself through their eyes, the version of yourself that they see and love and that it can make that version of you come to life. That even though Nol sees himself as this unworthy monster, that he has been made to feel like he's nothing, a nobody - she can show him that he's something, somebody, she can say his name with an affection that no one else has ever said it with, that she can breathe new life to something that was taken from him and ruined.

I think we VERY much are approaching that point and Nol learning that Yui has been drugging even Kousuke honestly may be the beginning (or again I might just be being very hopeful). I keep reiterating that Nol needs to know this goes beyond him. I want Shinae to get to sit down and talk to him - not just about their feelings but about Yui, that even before Yui knew about their attachments, that she was already put through hell. Tell him about Kousuke's birthday, something that shows Nol even if he leaves Yui already has her claws in her, was already interested even before it involved him. Tell him about the offer because she will end up taking it one way or another and it's better than he knows how, so he's reminded how much she hates this woman, too.

And maybe if Nol can see that it's more than just him, maybe he can see that there is no point in pushing her away. And if that isn't enough, maybe she can convince him how very much they can't ignore any of this, to prove to him how badly she wants to know him, Nol, to see him and meet those secret parts of him he doesn't want anyone to say. To say the name that has felt like a lashing so many times used by everyone else in a way that takes it from nothing to something and makes him want to hear it move. To say her name again and be so familiar (so SO familiar god PLEASE) ;A;

Like IDK I know we've had this conversation a LOT lmao but it just feels like it's two steps forward five steps back if we don't get that closure if they don't have that talk. No one is asking for or expecting him to share everything - to just open up enough to show that he wants to. To admit his fear. If Shinae saw what Dieter did, that kind of fear, how intense it is, and couldn't connect it to what has happened to her, maybe she could get through to him better but at this point she just doesn't know, doesn't understand why he's pushing her. Maybe now that she's realized her own feelings - and can maybe wonder about his - it might make her think of what he said in the alley about fear and people getting hurt but it's a conversation they need to have directly.

And yes, I feel like even from a metaphorical point, he cannot begin to open up as Yeonggi, as this nameless person. They cannot begin anew with her uncertain what to call him, not allowed to use his real name, while he still calls her Yoo. What's he gonna do, maul her and swallow her heart and still call her Yoo? PLEASE. NO.

I feel like it MUST be coming, that some kind of understanding will be coming, even if they know they are separating for a while, even if they know that whatever is between them isn't something that can happen right now, I feel like they HAVE to separate on a true first name basis, right? ;A;!!!!!!!!!

AND I AM DYING FOR IT. /DYING/ I WANT HIM TO SAY HER NAME SO QUIETLY (AND MAYBE BRUSH HER HAIR BACK FROM HER FACE WHEN HE DOES) I WANT HIM TO TWITCH A LITTLE WHEN SHE SAYS THE NAME THAT HAS CAUSED HIM SO MUCH PAIN AND THEN INSTEAD MELT INTO HER. I WANT IT TO BE SO TENDER, SO INTIMATE, THAT HIS NAME NEVER SOUNDED THAT GOOD ON ANYONE'S ELSE'S TONGUE, THAT IT NEVER SOUNDED SO MEANGINGFUL AS WHEN SHE SAYS IT. The intimacy of being the first person to be allowed to say his name, to speak it with so much affection and care that it can undo what others have done to it, that it can breath back the life that was beaten out of it. ;A; What it would mean for her to say it!!!! That thrill of being allowed to share this very secret part, this very special part, something she is so hungry for!!!!!!

Shinae wanting to know everything about him is honestly SO FUCKING TENDER. Like, yes, that's what happens when we find ourselves liking someone, wanting to know everything, wanting to know about the things we were never present for and what shaped them into the person they are, but for Shinae there's that added layer because he has locked out everyone, pushed everyone away, and she wants to know the secrets he won't share, the parts of him that he hides, she wants to privy to every part of him. She wants him in his entirety, she wants to know him and be just as known and GOD to get to breathe his secret name, the forbidden name, the one he would not allow her?

GOD

I cannot even put it into words i just

[explodes on the spot]

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WHEN IT HAPPENS FOR REAL? WHEN HE CALLS HER SHINAE AGAIN? LAKJFKAJKAFKJAFKAKFJJA i can't do this lil anon i aM SO, SO WEAK AND FULL OF EMOTIONS AND TENDERNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS they make me feel sO TENDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #ILY Anon #Lil Anon #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlain #Randulph Hirahara #Shinae Yoo #this ask (like all of your asks) gave me SO MANY FEELINGS #but i had to get my Rand post out of the way so i could answer this #it's being proofread but i think you'll see why i had to get it out of the way and why bringing up this possibility of Rand making such a #sacrifice made me SO EMOTIONAL #i have some big big feelings about Rand these days and like.... just his circumstances ;A; #and how so very much of ILY is a tragedy that cannot be stopped ;A; #;AAAAA;

[crescentfool]

reunion 🌸

#persona 3 #persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #makoto yuki #ryoji mochizuki #aigis #ryomina #lizzy does art #HELLO EVERYONE!!! march 5th is upon us again so i bring... my contribution for this year. my third year drawing for it! #i made the thumbnail for this a few weeks after last year's graduation day #i thought it would be fun to lean into the ryominaigis angle of graduation day (you could read this as minato/aigis if you like- #but i feel like most people would read it as ryoji/minato) #IN ANY CASE working on this made me very emotional over this game :') (specifically minato) #i really enjoy how p3 ends it's such a nice way of wrapping up the narrative's messages and themes #working on this. minato's kindness was at the forefront of my mind throughout the piece #and i really wanted to capture how. ultimately it was his decision to sacrifice himself- to do the great seal #while to an outsider's perspective it is. sad that minato passes. i think becoming the seal is something that minato- #actively welcomes. in the same way that death (ryoji) is a comfort to him because death was housed in him for Ten YearsTM #AND I ALSO GOT REALLY SAD OVER AIGIS TOO. i still get fucked up over how in fes's animated cutscene for 3/5 they portray- #her as human and not drawing the robot parts so i wanted to do something smilar here... #but also i am very sad on aigis's behalf because she discovers her humanity through minato and realizes what she- #wants to do and then. well. minato is like. he's ready to pass on (even if he's scared) and im like. OH MY GOD THIS TRIO GETS ME MESSED UP #this was more coherent in my head LOL BUT ough i like drawing p3 and working through my feelings about it... #anyway! happy (in quotations) march 5th. i love this game to bits. it's so fun to draw for this day every year and see how i've improved #if you've read all this thank you :) lizzy appreciates you all very much. mwah! <3

[lvstharmony]

​beyond grateful for the people that are surrounding me in my life, just as i am grateful for the people i’ve parted ways with, for without them, i would not be the person i am today.

#i have left so many people throughout my life #and #if someone would ask me if i’d regret any choice i’ve made i would say no #i regret hurting people yet i wouldn’t change a thing if i could #without the suffering the sacrifices and the lessons i would not be the person i am today that i can finally say i’m proud of #whenever i read the question “would you want to be your friend if you’d meet yourself?” deep down my answer was no #i was a good friend and i always tried my best to be there for everyone #but i was so blinded and overwhelmed by my pain that i tried so hard not to project on others that it was exactly the thing i’ve done #i was extremely caring sensitive loving and selfless but my ”bad“ traits were just as extreme #my emotions were so overwhelming that they were scattered all over the place that it didn’t allow me to have any control over them #i used to be so terrified of being alone. all i’ve felt was a great loneliness that was residing within me #until i’ve gathered the strength to leave an entire friendgroup with people that meant the world for me #they weren’t good for me anymore just as i wasn’t for them #since that day i’ve grown a lot i became a better and healthier version of myself #i learned how to be alone and to find the peace in it and in myself #all i’ve had was Allah swt. and He is all i will ever need. #without the hardships in terms of friendship i wouldn’t have been able to learn how to be alone and love and enjoy it #without it i could not say that i could easily give up the people in my life #i could if i had to bc i have Allah swt. #but i’ve learned how to choose and to choose the right people #i don’t need you and never will but i choose you bc i want you in my life and i think that makes it so much more special #i can finally say that i love the person i am today and can’t wait to see myself grow even more as the cycle of growing is never ending #I still have so much to learn and I will let it come to me with open arms #an open mind and an open heart #above all the most precious gift i’ve earned is to learn how to have tawakkul. #everything that happens every trial that is afflicted upon us has meaning #and it’s beautiful. #being able to pick out the khair in everything is the biggest blessing #alhamdulillah for the things that bruised my soul alhamdulillah for the things that mended it #alhamdulillah for everything bc truly; Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.

[hyunpic]

STRAY KIDS: all we need is enough love, to hold us where we are

#skz #video #hiii for all the one direction and stray kids enjoyers… #making this made me weirdly emotional idk 😣 #hope u like it i put my love in it so it makes it special 🤭 #i had to delete my tiny tower and all of my pixel residence there to give me space for this.. 🫠 now they are all homeless in the #trash can of the pixel universe. sacrifices had to be made

[ashinaisshin]

it is done! i love this game...

#personal #armored core vi #3rd fromsoft plat ayy #yamamura pls gib dlc..... #ac6 became a strong contender for my favorite fs game ajkfsk #at least it's definitely the one that got into my head the most #the characters really grow on you despite having no faces #and the emotional bonds you develop tie directly to the major theme of finding purpose and having to make the sacrifices accordingly #and the combat... getting s ranks really made me see the depth of the mechanics and its so much fun #i was literally never big on customization/build variety in games but i very much enjoy them in ac6 #in ac6 the customization feels more like an integral part of the gameplay rather than a feature of the gameplay(?) if that makes sense #finished most of my playthroughs with a mid-lightweight build and did most s ranks with steel haze (very light) lol #wanna try learning how to play with heavy builds next...

[astranauticus]

todays orv mood: standing at the water dispenser under my dorm building waiting for my instant noodles to cook just pacing in circles and swearing

#orv liveblog #should i tag spoilers for like. ramble in tags?? #ok i'll do it just to be safe #orv spoilers #idk in case my webtoon only irl friend suddenly decides to log back into her tumblr after 3 years #context chapter 311/46th scenario #ok theres a lot going on here #first off 1863th round yjh is a character made to haunt me specifically so when the name hell of eternity came up wow i was feeling like #500 emotions at once and none of them were good #second i saw someone on lofter say today that most of the talking kdj and yjh do in this book is through fights and just #LIKE I JUST. cannot get over how our perspective of their relationship is just always being filtered through these two people #who are just fuckin INCAPABLE of TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS like NORMAL PEOPLE #like it drives me so insane that this book is so show dont tell by necessity bc kdj is a fucking moron so we just get these #insanity inducing details like yjh paying to extend his midday rendezvous with kdj for 3 years and just using it as a personal journal #and then you get past all the fuckin. the two of them beating the shit out of each other by way of communicating and its like #'i want to lock you up so you'll stop dying because im scared im not strong enough to be able to stop you and we cant lose you again' LIKE? #SIR WHAT??????? HELLO?????????????? #also the line that made me start pacing in circles around the water cooler while swearing in mandarin was specifically #'i couldn't be the protagonist. i couldn't save someone else' #says the DEMON KING OF SALVATION. like damn its 'sacrifice's will is a stigma that didn't really suit me' all over again #like i love that kdj has the nerve to be like 'of course i dont want to die' and yjh just absolutely does not buy it for a second #god. i want to hit him on the head with a brick.

[takiki16]

I will wait for dinner to settle BEFORE I watch the keelhauling episode

#black sails #my posts #like…I flatter myself I have a reasonably average genre fan’s tolerance for violence and gore #the rest of the show is fine for me in that respect. nothing testing my tolerance limits #but the keelhaul…really truly made me nauseous the first time around d #it’s not WHUMP. it’s specifically and distinctly to my mind NOT whump. it’s a CHARACTER DEATH #Whump is fine bc the whumpee has a certain amount of either plot armor or external purpose #the emotional undercurrents of the physical damage are what is being communicated to me - the audience #the nobility and sacrifice of the sufferer. their helplessness and submission or whatever else etc etc etc #and even if the whumpee does die the emotional undertone is still there #I usually have a specific empathetic bond with the whumpee that puts a different cast on the violence #I have NO SUCH BOND with Blackbeard so his gruesome end is just that. gruesome. #even his defiance and determination not to give Roger’s anything makes it WORSE rather than better #maybe BECAUSE I don’t like him as a character. there is no intermediary emotional layer #which is of course the point. the point is that Roger’s is committing an act worse than any pirate and he has the backing of the Law #and it’s gruesome and sickening in a way that none of the so called monsters sailing under the black have managed

[lcerys]

LUKE + THOUGHTS ON CORLYS

corlys velaryon was, after his mother and siblings and father, one of the most important people in luke's life. there were political reasons as to why corlys was as important as he was to luke's life ― but the most relevant part for him has always been how much he loved the man.

corlys is someone luke has always deeply admired. he was known as the sea snake, one of the most remarkable men of his generation ( and further ), and who would leave his mark in history. he had led house velaryon successfully during years, raising it even further than he had inherited it, and done so through work of his own through his voyages. he was one of the best sea-fearers of his age, who travelled far and further still.

for all his accomplishments, it was not those that earned corlys luke's eternal loyalty, obviously, but how he stood by his and his brothers' side. how he upheld what laenor had said and claimed them as velaryons. house velaryon was by no means small ― he could have easily looked towards a nephew of his to name heir, someone unquestioned. someone who had grown at driftmark. anyone without the stain of a disputed legitimacy. laenor had died when he was four, which means the protection he derived from him was lost ( and luke did see to his father to fill that aspect of protection in his life, regardless that they may not have lived together ) he never looked to corlys for said protection, as that was not his role in his life, but that corlys looked to him and didn't reject him ? meant the world to him. the fact that even when luke proclaimed himself and his brothers targaryens, corlys would call them velaryons and be proud of them ? meant the world to him.

there might have been a political angle to it. it might have been because his betrothal to rhaena has stood since he was three years old. it might have been to get a king with the velaryon name in the throne ( even if jace would have taken the targaryen family name upon becoming king ). he doesn't know. he doesn't care. all he knows is he choose to support him and claim him as his family and his heir.

there is little luke would not forgive him for, due to all this. corlys is one of the people luke would always try and see his perspective of matters ( the truth is, luke tends to do this with most people. there are some glaring exceptions that stand as a sore thumb because of how he closes off, but in general luke is infinitively understanding ). his first instinct is to think that he must have a reason and an explanation for anything. he has luke's eternal loyalty and love, due to how he behaved with him and his brothers.

[ the survival verse is infinitively more complicated if everything from canon from f&b remains ( there should be changes if luke doesn't die, primarily blood and cheese and erryk and arryk at the very least ). but corlys, upon rhaenys' death, argues with rhaenyra and tells her it should have been her. tells her she should have sent her children ( and considering how luke feels about his brothers, he would take issue with. especially with joffrey, the youngest of the three velaryon brothers ). and then the gullet happens ― and he seems to be regretful, later, but it'd be an issue. uses rhaenys' death to legitimize addam and alyn ― who luke likes, but it is a clear political move, and a show of power, and luke would see that. and in the end he betrays rhaenyra. and despite it all, in any survival verse, no matter who survives exactly, no matter if he becomes lord of driftmark or gets pushed aside as joffrey was in canon ― corlys' eventual death would shatter him. it would leave him a shade of who he was, for months. it is different from rhaenyra's ― that happened in a war, who was murdered, where he had to push forward for aegon iii. there is none of that in corlys' case, and with how much luke loved him ? it would be terrible ]

#this is. the abridged version 😭 #headcanons › even if i'm the seed. even if i'm the sacrifice. #the way i'm still mentally pacing after those pictures. again. feel unwell over them they make me so emotional actually #anyway i SAID i was going to write the meta i HAD to after that. i even made time from work because i needed to write it

[soldier--poet--queen]

what came first, the body dysphoria flare up or the internet deciding now was a fantastsic time to show me transmasc content

#rin rambles #tw i get real heavy in the tags #SLAMMING. MY. HEAD. #HHHRGHHGHHH I GET SO ANGRY AT MYSELF #WHICH I KNOW IS STUPID AND POINTLESS BUT ARGH #every time i like. even have the twinge of these emotions. my brain is like ah. #so you're a failure? you're a fucking disappointment? man. sucks to be you. you should do something about that dysphoria. OH RIGHT. #and then i cry a little in Adoration it's okay #it doesn't feel okay. but like. ah. #i just feel like a disappointment to God. like He gave me this body and i hate it. and i hate that i hate it. #idk i just feel like i'm in so much pain. and then i try to talk with other Catholics about it and i'm seen as a wounded animal. or inhuman. #and they're like 'your dysphoria isn't causing you the anguish it's something else' LIKE IT CAN BE BOTH? #is it so bad to say that YES i am sad that i can't transition? that this causes me grief? but i follow Christ because ultimately He is worth #that pain and suffering? #is it bad to say that love is a sacrifice? and that the whole point of sacrifice is that it hurts? #where was that one post about the ai generated Bible verse. bc it wasn't /totally/ theologically correct but ough. #it made me feel things. i know God sees me and loves me. despite everything. there is love

[decarbry]

"What do you mean the scene I was looking forward to the most was stuffed into 25 seconds before the OP played??" THANK YOU so much for putting my thoughts re this latest ep into words better than I ever could. 😭 It gives me a bit of peace of mind. 🥲

Listen it was the best part of the episode for me but seeing it gotten over with 30 seconds after I sat down to watch took the wind out of my sails. My Eraser-loving heart was hoping for… I dunno… maybe a clip of Aizawa telling Eri he had to go help the other heroes and that they’d keep practicing her quirk when he got back. Or asking Mirio or Toshinori to watch over her for him. Or literally anything to make it hurt us even more

#but noooooooooo LMAO #imo it was still the best part of the episode but mannnnnnnn #if ever there was a time to insert a non-manga scene #I had also hoped that they might do a cute Aizawa/Eri/students mid-credits card like they did for Twice #just to show the intensity of his sacrifice #but Bakugou’s made me feel emotions so it’s fineeeee #unfortunately they’ve been very stingy about using that even though I figured they could do so much with it #but only twice and Bakugou have gotten it so far #I also kind of hoped we’d see one for Midnight but it’s not lookin good there either #bnha spoilers #bnha s6 spoilers #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

[amatres]

honestly wish dragon age 2 and inquisition gave options to have our player characters die at the end i love drama and tragedy and narratives that eat their protagonists by the end

#ama mumbles #dragon age #my canon warden does the ultimate sacrifice i want the option to kill off my other ocs in narrative fitting ways too #and no leaving hawke in the fade doesn't count its lame i want them to die in Their game #but also da2s tragedy is being forced to live on as you lose everyone you love so maybe i would keep hawke alive #and i just want to kill my inquisitor for the drama i have no emotional attachment to them and i want them to be made into a literal martyr #bc thats fun #let history repeat as solas betrays someone he was close to and it kills them. let him be consumed by his own history #and then it consumes others as well who only meant him well #like come on 'the hero always dies' its right there!! let me kill them!

[toadplatypus]

I tried calling my salon to set up a hair appointment but they didn’t answer right away and the phone kept ringing so I just hung up 0(-(

I’ll try again in half an hour

#it’s so nerve wracking 🤕 #but my mom said if I don’t do it myself she won’t pay for it and I do not have the money right now so a sacrifice must be made #pls like and comment to send me one (1) emotional support

[anotheruntitledsong]

i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty

#the golem and the jinni #i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP' #but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is #his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved #which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to #when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change! #and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni #but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him #and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich #what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about) #emotional connection to the jinni in a human way #which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend #(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf) #anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead #BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need #but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart) #which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife #it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me #arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it #if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation #BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him #alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that #although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia #so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE) #BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me #The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are #could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE #im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle #the hidden palace

[cyrsed]

#im curious #polls #i haven't decided who i'd vote for yet tbh #between reese hal and lois #malcolm in the middle #feel free to rb #like lois is so compelling as a character w her family relationships n her hopes n dreams n sacrifices she's made/why she is the way she is #but hal can be compelling too and also he has so many great moments i love like when he goes nuts when lois is out of town #and reese is great and thinking about him makes me emotional ghlskdfj

[cascadianights]

*Me behaving (lying on the couch as close as possible without touching) instead of straddling my ex and attacking him carnally*

This is a noble, brave endeavor. I deserve rewards

#lmfao #meanwhile hes making it Abundantly Clear sex is very on the table and im like I know that you dummy #we always had incredible sex that rarely made it to the bed lmao #but that doesnt mean its the right call #restraining myself from having sex with one (1) whole friend #truly a sacrifice for the ages #dont get me wrong there are many other feelings #but if i act on anything but talking then we will have sex and we cannot have sex & you think its a casual thing and me still LOVE YOU #how did i never get over gim #i cant even pretend i was totally over him before we reconnected i truly believed we'd circle back again in some way #its so ridiculous having emotions its better to make fun of myself for valiently not pinning him to the wall lmao

[dduane]

Hi Diane!

I promise this will end in an ask, but I have a story to share first, if you have the time.

I’m very new to Tumblr, in fact, I was moved to finally create an account to send you this message, but I’ve been casually poking around for a bit. A quick google last summer told me that Tumblr is the best place to get Good Omens news from Neil himself, but it didn’t do the courtesy of warning me just how magnetic this particular bastion of chaotic creative internet mayhem can be. This story is one example. Fun note, when I was composing this message my husband looked over my shoulder at the literal essay I’d typed out and suggested that I maybe, perhaps, might consider shortening it to the length of a conversation that could take place in an elevator. Or in line at the coffee shop. However, i’m not one sacrifice enormity for brevity.

Your post the other day regarding the cover for your novel, Stealing the Elf King’s Roses, got me thinking. First, that it was a very genuine thing to share, second, that I wasn’t entirely sure why I wasn’t immediately familiar with your work, and third, what a fun visual challenge. I was still thinking about it when I should have been sleeping, so I decided to dig in. I almost stopped reading your bio at the ‘blah blah blah’ because I was feeling quite bad about my media literacy at that point, but then I saw that you’re well-known for the Young Wizard series.

The Young Wizard series.

I said I’d try to keep it brief and this is my best attempt. I read books 1-5 of that series during the hardest, strangest, most heartbreaking time in my childhood when I desperately needed a different reality than my own. What I found in your novels was so much better than that. Your stories, your characters, your vision, helped teach me to ground myself in my strengths, frame my reality with hope and purpose, and how to build the spaces I needed within myself to find the compassion, forgiveness, joy and peace I so desperately needed. One of the things I built within myself on my healing journey was a beautiful jeweled box. It resides in my mind just off of I-335 in Topeka, Kansas. I was driving through the flint hills on a road trip from Milwaukee to Wichita when I finally finished the long process of constructing it, so that is where it stays, shining in the sun and twinkling under the stars. This box contains everything I experienced that couldn’t come with me as I grew. Crafting it was a lengthy, emotional, wrenching process, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done to allow me to become the person I am today. I used visit it every now and again, to make sure the jewels are still bright, but I’m very careful to not jostle the lid.

I’m recounting all of this to you because two nights ago I quite suddenly found myself standing beside my box for the first time in almost a decade. I could feel the gravel under my slipper socks as I gently opened the lid to see my copies of your books resting at the very top. I wasn’t immediately familiar with your work when I saw your name because it is so inextricable from the very fabric of how healed myself, that I accidentally let your words fall under the closed lid of the very box they helped enable me to make. Nothing else clamored to be released as I carefully pulled them out, and once more closed the lid.

So, the ask. I will be brief here - I’m an artist. Not currently working professionally as I’m exploring a different career path, but I’m usually working on a personal project or two. I needed a new one and was still intrigued by the post that started this all, so to help me process the emotions described above I made a version of a cover for STEKR and wanted to ask if I could share it with you. It looks like I can’t attach here, but I’d love to post it on my new, very empty page. It truly might not be your style, but I once again found solace in a space you opened the door to and this time I have the opportunity to share it!

Also, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

You're so very welcome! And I'm really glad the books were there for you when you needed them. (And plainly are there with you still.) 😊

And absolutely, post that cover! I'll be delighted to see it.

#Stealing the Elf-King's Roses