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#rl simself story
aleksa-sims · 7 months
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RL Simself Story (18+)
CW: addiction
"Let's see?"... Ha? Is that dude crazy or what? That damn party stressed me so out!... Stupid Claudia. 😒 Couldn't she just stfu?? Or at least tell the others, that I’m NOT a new student, who wants a welcome party? Agh, I'm gonna need Ana's help for this.😳Just Ana was a bit mad at me, bcs I asked that guy last night for drugs.🤦‍♀️And she's gonna get even more upset with me about Adam.
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memoirsofasim · 11 months
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Sims Tag
I was tagged by @theageofsims thank you! 🤗🌷
What’s your favourite sims death? I don’t really have a favorite but if we are going to be morbidly humorous then electrocution or laughing. Majority of my sims die from old age which is on occasion forced by me due to wanting to speed up to the next generation or reducing my games sim count.
Alpha CC or Maxis Match? The only cc I use is a default skin, lips, eyes and cheek blush. I used to use eyelashes but then they stopped working with one of the recent patches and I was like, meh, no biggy and then I never bothered to figure out why and just accepted my very vanilla sims. 💗 To be honest I cannot be bothered with all that stuff with TS4. I went banana’s on it with TS3 so I guess I’ve had my day with cc.
Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? No. I’ll get them to workout for a bit but I don’t obsess over it.
Do you use move objects? Yes
Favorite mod? MCCC
First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Get To Work
Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? As LIVe mode.
Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? Some of my favorite sims were probably from my TS3 sims story that I wrote on Blogger years ago. I gave them very detailed and individual personalities and I got quite attached to them. I tried recreating them in TS4 but they just never felt quite the same. 
Have you made a simself? Yes and it was a very false representation of myself so I never did again. 😆
What sim traits do you give yourself? Perfectionist, which is inaccurate - I’m not looking for perfectionism, just for things to be organised. Active and I think the other one was Loves Outdoors but then I changed it to Loner.
Which is your favorite EA hair color? Probably brown because in RL I’ve always loved brown hair.
Favorite EA hair? I like a lot of the Updo hairstyles.
Favorite life stage? Infants and elders. What more can I say about infants but I am obsessed with them at them moment. Their cuteness out weighs their neediness. Elders I have always loved, even back in TS3 days. They are cute and funny and quirky, and I find their grumpiness amusing.
Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I enjoy both and when I get bored of one I switch to the other. Building for me comes in waves. Sometimes I get this huge burst of inspiration and other times I have nothing. Gameplay is a bit easier I feel that I don’t need to be too inspired as there are always things to check off with inspirations, or life milestones for a sim and keep me inspired to keep playing. I’m a check off the list kind of person.
Are you a CC creator? No
Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I think of the fellow simmers I interact on here with as my online friends/mutuals. 💗
What’s your favorite game? I’ve loved all of them and appreciate each version of the game for what was/is at the time it was released.
Do you have any sims merch? Yes. I used to purchase the game magazines at the newsagent. I’ve kept them and have all versions except for Sims 1. I also have Sims 3 guide books and I also once purchased a mobile phone holder once but I think I threw that out years ago.
Do you have a YouTube for sims? No
How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? I don’t think I really have a so called sim style. In terms of playing the game I think as the different game versions came out I adapted and changed with them. Sims 1 & 2 I just played randomly and played around with building. Sims 3 I began a story which I then wrote for 10 years on blogger. I also really got into building but didn’t really consider myself a good enough builder. Sims 4 I struggled with at first because it was such a big change from Sims 3 but I feel pretty comfortable with where I am in my gameplay and how I post about my gameplay now. 
What’s your Origin ID? simmemoirs
Who’s your favorite CC creator? For my default skins I like luumia, for lips simsontherope, for blush squeamishsims.
How long have you had a simblr? Since December 2011. 
How do you edit your pictures? In Photoshop. I use an action from another simmer but for the life of me I cannot find who or where I got it from. It’s called Gohliad Subtle and it resizes, adjusts levels, brightens etc. 
What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? None. To be honest, my game is so full of packs and kits (not all kits) that I’m quite content with what I have already. I think I might be done in downloading & paying for extra stuff from EA. Though if we get a horses pack, as per the rumors, then I’ll probably eat my own words and buy it. But not for the horses 👎, for the new world! 😀
What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? There are two, Seasons and Growing together. Both of these have been a massive gamechanger for me. I love seasons in my game and the infants, well they have my heart!
Tagging: @payte @furasims @serenasims @cantseemtohide @aleksa-sims @happylifesims @simmer-rhi @breakfastwithbeb @natolesims @turtleshellsims @babblingstacey @whatawhim @koomeba No pressure and apologies if you have already done this. It’s not been a great week for me and I forget which simblrs I’ve visited/read this week. 
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snarkysims · 4 years
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Simmer - ‘Get to Know’
by @cupcakegnome​
I was tagged by @silverspringsimmer​
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Your name: Temesha
Languages you speak: English and three years of high school Spanish
Are you a mermaid: Seeing as I can’t swim, no, but mermaids are one of my favorite mythical creatures.
Your play style: I love to play rotationally and build up a community which is why TS2 has always appealed to me most.
Your selfsim picture:
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  Stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: Gameplay, but I see my Sims as characters and try to make stories out of the gameplay.
Your favorite age state: Really all of them, except for Elder because it means I will have to let them go soon.
Your favorite season: Fall in the Sims; Spring in RL
Your favorite holiday:  Thanksgiving. I enjoy the time with family and of course the good food.
How was your day: One word: Dentist
Your favorite career: In the game, I enjoy farming, but not so much in RL. 
Your favorite aspiration: Family, followed closely by Knowledge
Your favorite EP, SP or GP: TS2: Open For Business; TS3: Seasons; for TS4, I don’t really have a favorite, but I enjoy Seasons, Parenthood, and Spa Day 
How old is your simblr: I created my Simblr near the end of 2012, but posted sporadically over the years. I didn’t begin posting regularly until August 2019.
Have you woohooed: Well, I have a kid and my name ain’t Mary!
Your favorite skill: In the game, gardening, fishing, cooking, writing, and musical instruments.
The size of your mods folder: TS2: Just under 3GB
Your 3 favorite mods: ACR/Inteen, poseboxes, and anything by Sun & Moon 
Your interests (other than sims): reading and writing
Your favorite sim (picture if possible): My husband’s simself
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 Which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): TS1, TS2, TS2 LifeStories, The Sims Medieval, TS3, TS4, The Sims Freeplay, and The Sims Mobile (for like one day)
Propose a crazy scheme: How about we all just try to get along?
Best part of simblr: Interacting with people who understand my passion for this game.
Worst part of simblr: These days it’s Tumblr’s flaky queue!
What other games you play: Wait, there are other games??? Seriously, Banished, Civilization VI, Transport Fever 2, Tropico 5, and Cities: Skylines
Other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..): Wordpress: simsofsapphiresprings.wordpress.com;  Twitter (snarkysims); Facebook Group (The Sims 2). Also, I lurk on the official forums, PBK, and MTS.
Are you single: Nope! Married for 11 years this April.
Tagging: whoever wants to do it
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aleksa-sims · 7 months
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RL Simself Story (18+)
CW: drugs, addiction
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As I was in bed with Dan, he went to the bathroom to get something. Protection, you know. It was already in the morning. Ana was worried. She was looking for me, bcs I didn't answer my phone and she & Adam also had a fight. Since Ana was pregnant a few weeks ago, things haven’t been going really well between her and Adam.
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Anyway, Adam suddenly came into Dan’s room. I think he knocked before he came in. I'm not sure? I thought it was Dan. I was sitting at the edge of the bed, totally high. I constantly nodded and was in that slow motion state, as always, when I was high. Adam sat next to me, he didn’t say anything. I still thought it was Dan, leaning on his shoulder. But after a short while, I recognized Adam by his fragrance. I was just about to open my eyes, to see what he was doing. But before I could see it, I felt it... Adam touched my breasts and my hand was... in his pants.😖 Once I realized, what I felt or HAD in my hand, I almost became sober again. Eww... 🤮🤮🤮🤮 Of course I pulled my hand out of his pants and..... then Ana came into the room.
Adam got what he wanted. He wanted Ana to see us like this. But Ana didn't care about Adam. She was rather shocked and worried about my condition. She also thought that Dennis was taking advantage of me. But he didn't! He didn’t even sleep with me, he was going to, but Ana and Adam got in the way.😬
However, I will have to go home. Ana didn't want me there. I didn't know what to do? I couldn’t go back home to my apartment. I was still so sad and just not ready yet. Second, I was afraid I'd callI Alex to come to me. He'd help me getting durgs again. The only right thing would have been to go to an addiction clinic.
But I won’t! I’ll go to Philip. I mean, I’m not staying with Philip or at his place!!!! I just had a few questions. But apart from that I got to hear some news, that I didn’t expect.
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aleksa-sims · 7 months
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👩‍🎓... 🌿📸🐝🐜..... 📝❤️
RL Simself Story
I went to university. 🤓..... Not really! 🫤 I visited my sister and my cuz M. there, to...... take pics of bugs.🤷‍♀️
Ana and Mario didn't go to exactly the same university. Ana studied something different from our Cuousin. She continued with that dull business thing and he studied cine technology and something else. I'm not sure? 😬 (Idk the exact technical name for it.) But their universities were on the same campus & they also lived in the same dorm.
Yesterday Ana and I arrived there, at her dorm (I got 2 weeks off) and this morning, I accompanied her and M. to their campus. Because, I also had a job. I worked on a university project with my cuz.😁 But back to yesterday. Last night I couldn’t sleep. I kept dreaming about Daniel and I also had withdrawal symptoms.🤦‍♀️So I walked like a ghost through the halls of that student housing, to get tired and distract myself. Well....
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a.... crazy student who also lived there wanted to get off with me. 🤨... "Just fuck off, man!", I thought. But instead of saying that to him, I did something extremely stupid.🤦‍♀️ I was so desperate and my pain so strong.... I asked him for drugs. And as if all this wasn't already embarrassing enough, my cousin M. came out of his room. We were standing right in front of his door in that hallway.
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He recorded something for college and the background noises that this guy & I made, were on his recording/tape, so he couldn’t continue working. He asked us to.... shut the fuck up! He was a bit pissed, you know? 😬... However, that weirdo left. About that drug & my conditon, I'm not going to talk about it today.... M. asked me what was going on? He didn’t know what happend to D. & me. .... So I told him....
He couldn’t believe Daniel just left. He was there at our wedding and saw how happy Daniel was... M. asked me a ton of questions... But... yea. I didn't really wanna talk... So my cousin had an idea for me. He asked me to help him with his college project. That way, he tried to bring me to other thoughts. 💚
He remembered that I used to like taking pictures, when we were "little", which was a pretty nice hobby of mine for a while. He needed some close-ups of different things, actually it didn’t matter what, but it had to be in nature/ out doors. Somehow I liked this idea and also felt pretty good helping my baby cuz. The next day I made my way for some nice shoots, as you can see above.
However, that was not all I did that day. The nice stranger I met online at the Sims 4 Gallery, also had a little task/job for me. He wanted me, to write him a love letter, handwritten!! 🤣 (He's so crazy!) When he wanted this from me, I had the strong suspicion that it's Nico, who texted me. And this was also his intention! He wanted me to think of him. Cos those... love letters, I have actually written to him in the past., when he & I were just on the phone.
Nico wanted me to get him back in my mind, he wanted me to think about him and not Daniel. I asked him if he was Nico, the stranger who texted me?? But he never really gave me a clear answer. He just said, I’ll find out who he really is and no matter who he is. Nico or not, I won’t be disappointed. The person who is texting me, is definitely not as he once was, he said. .. WTF? Ha?.... That's so confusing! But I was pretty sure, it's Nico. He knew that I love Sims and play regularly. So suddenly everything he told me weeks before, made sense now. But I'm gonna tell next time more about that, when I see Philip.
Oh, and in case you wonder where Ana was? She had a date with Adam. They had a fight a day before we went to her dorm. It was about me. And drugs. Ugh yea, but Adam's gonna talk to me too about that and well, I think he didn't do anything to me that one night in my apartment. (😞🤦‍♀️Not yet.)
Something else:
This post today was kind of a test for me. Maybe I will post in the future without captions? I'm not sure yet? Pics with captions are... Idk? I’m having a hard time with that tbh. Cos.. you can hardly see anything that's going on in the pic, with so much text on it. And sometimes it’s hard to read anyway. But yea, if you don't like it that way, just let me know! Idk yet what I'm going to do? Maybe a Mix? Agh, let's see...
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aleksa-sims · 8 months
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RL Simself-Story (18+)
CW: addiction
Life brings sometimes really strange surprises. 🫤Exactly the man who abandoned Daniel and his sister 21 years ago and disappeared himself for years (21), will find Daniel and bring him back home.🤷‍♀️....
Alex once asked Daniel if he wasn’t wondering, why their Dad suddenly came back to their lifes, after all these years? They both couldn’t find an answer to their question and their dad also couldn't really explain why NOW, after 21 years? The day, D.'s Dad found Daniel, they all got their answer. What exactly was, I explain when I see Daniel again.
So yea, they will find him, but Daniel won't come back to me. Not immediately! He just wasn’t ready yet, after what he did. But his Dad & his half-brother, whom he met just a few months ago, helped him. Still, even Alex won’t tell me right away, that they found Daniel. Because if Daniel and I had gotten back together at this time, the same thing that happened to him, would probably have happened to me too. However, I’m just glad Daniel is fine today. 😥
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aleksa-sims · 8 months
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RL Simself-Story (18+)
⚠️CW: addiction, drug use, suffocation... ⚠️
About the fight between Irena and me: Daniel didn’t tell Irena anything about that threesome thing!! It was Dominick that nag!😠 He knew about Nico & Philip, after all, the two idiots threatened him at that time. 🤦‍♀️🤨
But Irena used this to hurt me. She wanted me to think, that Daniel would talk badly about me or share with her such private things about my past. However, she succeeded.😞😭
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aleksa-sims · 10 months
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RL Simself-Story (18+)
CW: addiction
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Transcript ⬇️
Pic 1:
Since my failed surprise to him, Daniel hasn’t been well. Maybe I overreacted a bit that night when he came home late? Idk?… After all, he apologized to me and regretted it. I shouldn’t have rejected him and compared him to Mr B. What I didn’t do, but I think D. got me wrong.
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Even Lucky was sad. I cried in the bedroom and worried about Daniel, who had been lying on the couch for almost two days. He just didn’t want to talk to me? I wasn’t sure? I felt like he didn’t want me around him, so I just played Sims all day yesterday. And you know, I’ve been writing with Nico, but I still didn’t know it was him!!! I thought Nico was a woman who was chatting with me about Sims. His Origin ID was “EllaSheSims…” But since yesterday I knew that Nico is a 22 year old guy and not a woman/girl, who’s playing sims. That username he used, belonged to his current girlfriend/fiancé.
I asked him why he plays Sims? I thought it was…. weird? He told me that his ex gf loved Sims. They broke up, he said. But he still missed her sm. He bought her the base game and some packs ,so she could play Sims on his pc and bla bla bla… He told me OUR story, you know? But I didn’t get it!!! Instead, I felt sorry for him because he missed his ex. (me)
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I told Nico what’s going on with Daniel and that I was really sad & worried about him. I know I told a stranger my probs. But…. he also told me about his ex, so I felt like I could talk to him about Daniel. Nico advised me to talk to Daniel, he said Daniel needed me now. Actually, that was totally sweet of Nico in retrospect. He wanted to help me make it work between Daniel and me, even though….. he missed me.
Back to Daniel… I think that’s when D. thought about leaving. He felt he had lost control of his addiction and wanted to prevent me from relapsing. But it was all my fault! I wanted us to do it again a few days ago because of this shit with Mr B. and now Daniel may have relapsed. I HAD TO do something!! I somehow misjudged the whole situation with D. He has been constantly helping me and he seemed so determined to do everything right. I had the feeling he was fine. But… Daniel is kind of sensitive, like me. Being constantly rejected by me, because of my panic attacks made him totally insecure, especially our last dispute. Anyway, it was time for me to get out of hiding and help him!!
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Me: I’m so sorry D. for what I said yesterday to you. But I didn’t mean it bad. I was disappointed, you know? Ily sm and wanted to make up for what we missed. However, tell me, what’s up with you? I’m here for you and you don’t have to feel bad about anything or blame yourself. You helped me sm, D.! Now I’m gonna help you. Daniel: You can’t help me, you’re only gonna hurt yourself if you try. Me: I don’t care!I will always love you and stay with you whether you stay clean or not. I’ll be strong for you and I’ll help you! Honestly. I’m not like I was in the summer, you changed me and you showed me that I can live without that fucking drug. I just need you. And…… you me. Daniel: Everything goes wrong, I failed….. You have to learn to cope without me & I, without you. Otherwise, we’ll never really make it.
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Me: It doesn’t matter, we’re married! Why would you or I….. leave? I’ll stay with you forever. I can’t live without you! Is that what you want Daniel: No…….. Still, I’m not good for you. I screwed up and without me, you would never have been in danger three months ago. All this shit would have been spared you….
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Me: I was so happy when you asked me to marry you. It doesn’t matter what happened to us. Without you, I wouldn’t have survived last summer or last year in general. I was totally out of control!! I was busy destroying myself completely! Nothing and nobody could stop me, except you. And when you moved with me here, to start a new chapter together, I was really happy, like never before. Finding this place for the two of us was…. the best surprise ever!! I love it here with you and I don’t give a shit about anything else. But now you have to get up D.! I’m gonna help you. Or tell me what to do for you?
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I went to buy Daniel something to eat, but getting groceries wasn’t the only thing on my to do list. I had to get a pregnancy test. I still haven’t told D. I was overdue. On our honeymoon I only had my period for 2 days, but I didn’t think anything of it. And this month…. maybe my period was just late? After all, my cycle in recent months has been constantly irregular because of what happened in the summer. We didn’t really use contraception. I gave up on this topic tbh and since summer I kept feeling that I could not have kids.
Though I was terrified to have a baby, I wished it deep in my heart.
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I thought sex was the one thing he wanted or demanded most from me because we couldn’t do it for weeks. But I guess, I was wrong again. He just needed me.
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Um… how am I supposed to sleep now? I don’t know what’s so great about falling asleep on another person? A pillow is much more comfortable. But well , maybe that’s just me. However, as long as he got better, that’s all I wanted.
I just looked at him and wished he never had to be sad about me or anything….. And yet in 3 weeks this chapter of my life ends here for me. Not really and not forever, but still. Whether that was good or not, I can answer today, 9 years later. I would say, NO! But then I would never have had my son and met him, so it must have happened!!!
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aleksa-sims · 10 months
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A little journey back in time....
My horrible teenage years! 😒I was 17-18 then and..... wish I was invisible....As promised, I try to summarize the past of my story as best I can, to explain the beginning. I’ll split it into chapters and this one is about Nico (& me). How we met. When I have finished all chapters, I will make a own post, where all chapters will be listed, so you don’t have to start from the beginning..... I hope I don’t mess anything up.
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aleksa-sims · 8 months
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RL Simself-Story (18+)
⚠️CW: addiction
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aleksa-sims · 7 months
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RL Simself Story (18+)
And P'.s new gf is.... yea, let's say, an interesting girl. I get why Annabelle didn't like her. 😬🤭
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aleksa-sims · 8 months
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RL Simself-Story (18+)
⚠️CW: addiction
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aleksa-sims · 7 months
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RL Simself Story (18+)
CW: drugs
few hours earlier....
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Me: Adam!.. What happend? Did you and Ana fight?
Adam: Ugh, not you! 😒I fuck off! Don’t worry, I won’t touch you, A.!
Me: I'm sorry! Wait a moment, please.... Let me explain. I was so scared about this thing with Sandra. I thought you were gonna do the same to me as this guy did to her. I felt so weak after you gave me that...shit. 😞
Adam: Sure, just blame me, if that helps you. But don't forget what you used to do for a fucking line, A.!
Me: Hey! I said sorry! So watch your-..... I don't wanna fight. I need your help tbh.
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Adam: What do you want?
Me: You know, I'm not well. And... Idk who to ask? You're the only one I could think of and might understand me a bit.
Adam: Let's hear, what you've got to say.
Me: I’m in pain and I shouldn’t have come here... Adam, I need that shit! Tell me, how did you get drugs here? I don't know anyone in that city. Help me.
Adam: You're crazy A.! And btw, I have no access to such hard stuff. I can get you some E.'s or even a bit coke, but not that fucking smack!!
Me: Hard stuff, ha? And what did you do Adam? You did blow all weekend. You aren't any better! And I don't shut that stuff, if you think that. 😒
Adam: And I don't do drugs every damn weekend, hell...... If Ana get's any of that.... she's gonna fuck ME, up.
Me: I won't tell her! I don't wanna worry my sister. She knows that I relapsed. That's why I can't just leave now. She’s gonna want to go home with me, but I don’t want Ana skipping her class because of me.
Adam: But Idk where to get that shit for you?...... Ugh, let me make a call, I’ll ask someone I know, who might be able to help.
I shouldn’t have done that, asking Adam for help. But how many times have I done things, I shouldn’t have done? 🤷‍♀️ Exactly! Way too often! I’m someone who keeps repeating old mistakes. Even though I’m aware of the consequences!! So I can not use stupidity as an excuse, but must confess, that it's just pure negligence.... After Adam made a call, he came back to me.
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Me: Please say you have good news for me!
Adam: You get what you want. I have to leave. I’ll come by later.
Me: Tysm! If you ever need my help, I'll be there too. I owe you that.
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Adam: Why am I even doing this?... I have a bad feeling, A.! 😕
Me: Shall I come with you?
Adam: I don't mean that. I'm talking about Ana. 😟
Me: I won't tell her! This is gonna stay between us. You know why I thought you did something to me? I asked you to leave, but you're there. You opend Alex the door.
Adam: You scared the hell out of me. I thought I poisoned you. I was trying to figure out what went wrong? Why did you tremble and suddenly become so weak? I-... I stayed there to keep you safe. I was so glad when Alex showed up. I just wanted to run away form there.
Me: Sorry you saw me like that, but yeah. Just fuck it.
I believed Adam. He didn’t do anything to me. He was rather afraid to be blamed, if something had actually happened to me. Still, I wondered why he helped me?? And also when I had that fight with Irena, the situation with the broken bottle.... Adam was really a mystery to me. I mean his behavior, especially after what's gonna happen at that party. And that guy "Dan". His name's not Daniel. I just thought that, bcs he said he's Dan. But his full name is Dennis. They just called him Dan.
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aleksa-sims · 1 year
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RL Simself +
P. & Annabelle 🍼🧸
After the update I finally had some time to play with infants. Since Annabelle was just at the right age (7 months), I played with Philip's Simself. But also Nico showed up, (after such a long time), because he was the only friend, who helped P. back then. 🤷‍♀️
After this stupid kiss, I had to promise Daniel❤️ to end my friendship with Philip for a while. But in about 2 months, I will meet Nico again and he will tell me everything what happend with P. & Annabelle. But I’ll see them soon, too anyway.
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aleksa-sims · 9 months
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👚👖😸
I had a pretty wild night with D.🤨Maybe a bit too wild , as I got to feel the next day in my neck, while doing our laundry. Instead of continuing my work, I turned on my PC and did my Sims's laundry. Yea, that makes sense, I know.
And Lucky really stressed me out, too. That cat was totally obsessed with our laundry.😅 He loved to roll into our laundry piles, whether in the laundry basket or on the floor. I mean, it's cute and funny ,but my clean cloths was covered in cat fur. More work for me.🤷🏻‍♀️
After playing a bit Sims, I had a short chat with Nico. We were still texting each other almost every day on the Sims 4 Gallery, but we also started writing emails, because it was easier and we talked about some private things. I mean about our lives and all that. But that day, Nico asked me for my number. I said no, after all he was still a stranger to me. Sure we started to develop a friendship but, I knew at the time, that Nico was a 21 year old guy and I was married. So it felt wrong to give him my number. Even that we texted each other felt wrong tbh. But I trusted him and I've talked with him a lot about Daniel. That helped me! Sometimes it’s easier to tell a stranger certain things than someone you know. At least this is the experience that I made. Nevertheless I decided to tell Daniel that I have...... an online friend. Yea, let's see.
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aleksa-sims · 9 months
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RL Simself-Story (18+)
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Transcript ⬇️
Me: Hey Alex…. Am I disturbing you? … Um, sorry it’s about Daniel. We need to talk.
Alex: Yea, ok… Did you talk to him about that girl, Tina?
Me: Yea. …And he still doesn’t remember her. But I’m afraid he might remember her, once he sees her, you know?
Alex: I understand you, but you shouldn’t keep secrets from him. And that Tina won’t stop bothering you about Daniel. She has to hear it from him himself. He has to make it clear to her, that he doesn’t remember her and doesn’t want her.
Me: I’m still scared, maybe he wants her after she talked to him. I’m so afraid of losing him. And that’s exactly why I wanted to talk to you. Daniel is a bit insecure and irritable rn. He thinks I-….. I have a crush on you. Yea, totally silly, I know. But you have to go. So sorry, Alex. I don’t want you & Daniel fighting, so I thought I’d talk to you about it before he does.
Alex: It’s okay, A.! I was going home today anyway. I noticed my brother is pissed at me. Now I know why! And well, we really hid something, so I get him. You need to tell him about that too.
Me: I can’t! You don’t understand! If he finds out, he’ll blame himself and I don’t want that! I can do it! That was just an exception. Just forget that!….. You know, I feel so bad. Maybe you don’t have to go? Tomorrow is your birthday and your sister’s coming home too. She’s so excited and wants to meet you.
Alex: No, I can’t stay here. But I want to talk to Daniel later. I want to sort this out with him and there’s something important I need to tell him. Don’t worry, I won’t talk about you. It’s about… our father. But why does he even think you’re into me? Did you ever cheat or something?
Me: No, I swear! I’d never cheat on him! And that’s not what he thought! It has to do with something…. I used to do…..with my….ex. Our relationship was a bit….. weird? However I don’t want to talk about that. I mean, this could get kind of awkward.
Alex: I wish I had met Daniel much earlier…. But yea, I’m used to being misunderstood. I shouldn’t have stayed here, even if you were so nice and offered it to me. I was just surprised because usually no one else trusts me.
Me: That’s just my fault. I should have told him this shit about Tina right away. And Daniel wasn’t always so…. pissed. So much happend… It’s been tough for us. Anyway, you don’t have to be ashamed because you were in juvie. D. & I have done a lot of shit too. Maybe even more than you.
Me: Where were you last night? Did you find the girl who did this to you? I ask because I see you have a black eye.
Alex: I changed my mind, I don’t want to find her. I’m tired, A. Now it’s too late for justice anyway. I served my sentence and maybe that was the best thing that could have happened to me. I went to school there, graduated and even worked and learned a lot over the last two years. And the black eye was…. just a misunderstanding. Don’t worry, I’m fine. And… no matter why I was in for, fact is, I wasn’t innocent.
Me: You violated the law, but honestly? There’s worse. Everyone deserves a second chance and you have served your sentence. But how did you even get into this thing? I mean, you’re a normal guy. You didn’t have a criminal past and you grew up with your mom in a nice home.
Alex: Ask yourself, A. How did you get into drugs? I guess, you just fell in with the wrong crowd.
Alex: I hope Daniel believes that I don’t want to cause you any trouble. We got along well. I really didn’t think he’d get that mad at me.
Me: Maybe he calmed down. This morning he seemed to be ok again. Is there something you need from Daniel or me? You seem so worried.
Alex: No, I just want to sort this out, and my father only told me about Daniel and Tatjana two years ago, as you know. I was an only child, I always wanted siblings. So why did he keep silent for so long? I only had my mother. Still I had it much better than Daniel & Tatiana. But our father could have changed everything for us, he just had to tell me that I have siblings.
Me: Maybe you & Daniel should discuss this with your dad? I mean, this is…. just crazy and chaotic! Your parents should finally clear up all the shit & mess they caused. And as for you and your siblings, everything will be fine! You will see! Daniel will calm down and Tatiana is such a sweet girl. You’ll like her.
Alex: You’re right! And thank you! Thanks for everything. You could have stopped Daniel from meeting me, his unknown brother, who was in jail. And as for that girl, Tina, don’t worry about her. I’m sure she can’t hold a candle to you. And if you still need my help, I’ll help you. But now that Daniel knows, let’s see what he’ll say about that.
Me: Maybe I’m exaggerating about Tina? But if our love was/is just a lie and I’m just a replacement for Tina, I don’t want it anyway. I hope Daniel sees it like you do! However, thanks, A.! That was sweet what you said.
Alex: I’m leaving. I don’t want to trouble you two and there’s nothing between me and her! We just talked about that Tina, that’s all.
Daniel: Who beat you up?… What about your eye?
Alex: Um…. Nothing. I just was …. in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I don’t know what our father told you, but he did the same to my mother as he did to yours. And he was never really there for me, he was visiting twice a year for a short time and then he pissed off again. So, don’t trust him.
Daniel: My mother’s crazy! She thought I was cursed when I was born. So our father left. She scared him and yes he locked her up, because she was a danger to my sister and herself.
Alex: I belive you! And I’m so sorry for that. But he also hurt her. He did the same to my mother. And did you ask him where he’s been all these years? I mean now that you’re 21, he shows up, why? And why didn’t he tell you and your sister about me? Or me about you?
Daniel: Listen! I honestly don’t care where he was. I just wanted to know who this man is. Who’s my biological father, producer. It’s about knowing who I am. But now I don’t need him anymore! I’m an adult. So I don’t give a shit about him. The truth is, my parents are both crazy and I have always known that. That’s nothing new! So it doesn’t stuns or shock me either. But if you need answers, I understand that. And you don’t have to go. My sister called me. She wants to see you. She asked me to let you stay. She’ll be home tomorrow. You and her can ask our father all these questions if you want, but I have other things to take care of rn. Maybe when I get better, we can…. go on.
Alex: You’re not okay? It’s about that… Tina?
Daniel: No, man. I don’t give a fuck about her! Idk exactly what’s going on with me? But I might get an answer in a few days.
I didn’t interfere in the conversation between the two, I just made sure they didn’t start arguing or anything. I wanted Daniel to sort this out with his half-brother.
I felt so sorry for Daniel, Alex and Tatiana. It’s just sad that they didn’t know about each other in all these years. I don’t think this would have changed anything for Daniel & Tatiana but at least for Alex it would have been good to know that he has siblings. And as for Daniel’s dad, if Alex was right, D.’s mom actually told the truth about him. Then I’m not surprised that she was so afraid of him and escape was the only solution for her. Nevertheless, she should never have abandoned her two little kids. And even later what she did to Daniel was just… NOT normal!!! And Lucky, he’s been acting like a stray cat since he was constantly with our neighbors. They also had a cat, but their cat never left their apartment. She didn’t like it, so Lucky was always with our neighbors. So cute, but I missed him sm…..
….But he didn’t leave out his food, he knew exactly when he had to come home.
I was a bit jealous of our neighbors. Just because their cat didn’t leave the apartment, Lucky was with them so often. But our neighbors were so nice. It was an older couple who had no kids. The two invited Daniel & me constantly over to themselves. The woman loved to bake and brought us cake or pie every Sunday. Once the old lady didn’t get her door open, so Daniel helped her. Idk how he did it, but he got her door open. I didn’t make it either, she asked me for help that day. And well, I saw that she has a cat. Her name’s Biene (Bee), so cute and yea, that’s how Lucky & Biene got to know each other.
Me (to Lucky): All right, you little lothario, you’ve had your fun. Tomorrow you can see Biene again. But now go play with Daniel, he needs you! He’s not well.
Daniel was clearly Lucky’s fav person/human. He’s simply his best friend. That’s why I gave Lucky Daniel back, after he left. And yea Daniel wasn’t well at that time, but I’ll explain later. Also, we will meet Tina to sort this out with her. But you’ll see. And between Alex & me was nothing! We just got along well. But when Daniel left and I was so devastated, I almost got hooked again. Alex was trying to help me figure out what was going on with D. and why he left? But Alex didn’t do me good. And…. Nico! You know? I continued writing with him but still didn’t know that Nico was the person with whom I started that…. online friendship. I told N. what happend and…. yea, Nico opend my eyes! He said as long as Alex doesn’t leave, I won’t feel any better.
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