I'm genuinely so close to just breaking down one day because oh godddddd I'm turning 18 this year and
I have to get my bank account either independent or make a new one
Get a transgender identity card from the government
Get my Aadhar card linked to my phone number instead of my mom's
Figure out international payments because I very much plan on taking commissions to tide me through uni
Start saving for top surgery
Get a little bit independent from my fucking parents???
Like I'm so close to tears because I just had to get born in an emotionally abusive family while being trans it's genuinely a nightmare and I'm so sick.
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as much as i miss having roleplay accounts, this site is so beyond un - user friendly that i'm almost tempted to try out that new fangled twitter rp i hear so much about. it'd be a good reason to stretch out my fingers and be a good source of distraction in these trying times lmao.
but at the same time, ehhhhhhhhhhh, idk. maybe.
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“Summer Dream” (2017)
At times I find myself drifting away from reality,
Closer and closer towards that one summer dream;
Eight months past, if I recall.
I never came out.
The burden of being outed was thrust upon me,
Dealt by my own actions in a cruel twist of fate.
I didn’t think I would ever come back.
I was mistaken.
At times I find myself drifting away from reality,
Closer and closer towards that one summer dream;
I remember the cold dark nights, trapping fear inside of me,
And I remember the warmth of the California sun, keeping me safe;
Once upon a summer dream.
I remember the way he kissed my hand,
And called me a woman,
Just like I always knew I was;
Once upon a summer dream.
And I remember the way that they stood up for me,
Insisting that I be referred to as a girl,
Just like everyone else;
Once upon a summer dream.
I remember my anxiety,
The first time I went into the girls bathroom.
Body as tense as I could be,
Only to find that this time-
I was safe.
And I remember my anxiety,
When I walked into that courtroom;
Dressed as femme as I could be,
As if to call out to them-
“Fuck you.”
---------
“Dreams Never Last” (2017)
At times I find myself drifting away from reality,
Closer and closer towards that one summer dream;
Dreams never last, you know.
I, of all people, know that.
It was hard, at first.
I say that if it gets any easier.
They didn’t believe me;
For months they insisted,
“Are you sure you’re really a girl?”
I grew tired.
Of the butchering of my name.
Of the insults hurled at my looks;
The laughing and the screaming.
I grew tired.
Of the constant excuses,
And the constant inquiry,
“Are you sure you’re really a girl?”
I grew tired.
Every little victory came with a price.
Every new hairstyle came with a new name to be called,
And every time I wore that single blue dress,
Came with the looks of the disdained and the resentful.
At times I find myself drifting away from reality,
Closer and closer towards that one summer dream;
Dreams never last, you know.
I, of all people, know that.
But dreams are not meant to last-
Merely messengers passing in the night.
And I remember,
A dream from several years past.
Sitting at the edge of a pool,
With a sign clearly reading,
“Girls Only.”
Yet a woman swam up to me,
And whispered gently,
“You can enter any time.
All that matters,
Is that you know who you are.”
And I remember.
And I remember.
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creek countryside au ((i’ve been binge watching studio ghibli))
unprovoked design sheet and headcanons under the cut 🚀 ☕️
Their relationship wasn't love at first sight but it was developed throughout their friendship ((Don't really want to emphasize romantic interactions or label roles on them. Just wanted to portray them as free-spirited teenagers in the rurals slowly falling in love w/o realizing hehe))
They've seen each other before few times but did not formally meet until one day when Craig was like being startled by a frog in the river (or snake in Thomas' field?) then Tweek helped him out
Tweek eventually tags along with Craig whenever he's going to the market to ship the goods (Tweek carries the stuffs while Craig cycles)
Never officially or publicly dated. I was thinking that they live in a town with a very traditional lifestyle and strong beliefs, so same-sex relationship is considered taboo.
However their parents and friends seem to notice their relationship and are very supportive of it. Especially Tweek's mom she likes to invite Craig over for tea time!!
Their relationship strays for awhile (or permanently) either because:
Both holds dearly to the morals and norms in their community, but Tweek is more religious and afraid of how the townspeople would react. He feels conflicted with the feelings he has for Craig. Even though nobody has objected their relationship, it's just some kind of personal guilt Tweek has.
Growing up, Craig has to become more serious in taking over the farm while Tweek moves out of town to attend university. Since they aren't really tied in a relationship both got busy and felt like what they had wasn't a priority anymore. Craig also couldn't handle long distance relationship so he stopped sending texts and gifts to Tweek.
Yea that's it thank you for reading the thoughts and oversimplified designs that I compiled for three nights. Planning on changing Tweek's flipflops to something more fashionable lmao
Will make more out of this ♡
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I'm not a very good artist or a writer. I do have a passion for them, but I'm not good enough right now. I know that.
But everytime I sat down to draw, or posted something on Tumblr, the only thing I ever thought of "I hope when people see my art/post/writing, they can see how much I love Bumi." I did it all out of love for a bunch of pixels. I stayed up till 2am drawing, I sat in my room with no aircon in summer to draw Bumi, I fell sick over a weekend when I didn't draw him.
I did it for love, and now at 1am, I get a message from @ceruleansol (thank you) telling me that my shitty art and writing and silly posts about Bumi's big dick have been scraped by AI.
I have never felt more sick. I'm not sure of what to do, but I will probably delete my Instagram where I posted art, and maybe my art blog too. All my Ao3 content is going to be locked. I hate this. I shared my writing and art because I believed other people who love Bumi too would feel my love towards Bumi go towards them, a fellow Bumi fan. I shared it because I like getting compliments from friends.
I didn't share it so that an AI who doesn't know me or my emotions could steal it.
Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I hope @/photomatt dies in a car accident with hammers.
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