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realbeijinger · 4 months

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Another semi-coherent rant on climate change, the value of idealism, and TGCF (I finally finished!)

Well, I finished Tian Guan Ci Fu. And, oh man, if you read my last post, you’ll know that I was terrified that the entire novel would be a criticism of blind idealism. But I am SO glad I was wrong!!! Looking back on what I wrote before… it’s kind of hilarious how worried I was. I was so sure that I knew where it was going, was so busy preparing myself to be offended/emotionally crushed, that I wouldn’t even entertain the idea that maybe MXTX had a similar worldview to me all along.

In my defense, aside from the line, “Something like saving the common people… although foolish, it is brave,” everything seemed to point toward the idea that trying to do good is pointless. I mean, up until the moment when Xie Lian was lying with a sword in his chest on the streets of Yong’an, all of his efforts to do good had essentially been in vain. He hadn’t been able to help anyone.

And then, when the one guy stopped and gave Xie Lian his hat, I dunno, I just cried. It was so perfect! Like, ugh, damn you, MXTX! So sneaky… destroying us, just to bring us back later!! It was such a small, insignificant win, but it was exactly what Xie Lian (and I) needed. I love the line, “Just one person was enough!” Just one person doing something selfless. It’s enough to give us hope.

It really resonates with me because I think a lot about how to maintain hope. In terms of the climate crisis, I feel like Xie Lian—completely powerless. I want to stop eating meat, use less plastic, spend more time on environmental activism, but honestly, what do any of these things matter? The meat industry is not going to change because I choose to stop consuming. Even my activism has a completely negligible effect—whether or not I join a protest or write a letter to my congressman will almost certainly not be the deciding factor for any climate legislation, no matter how much effort I put in.

And yet, I still want to. I love the moment when Xie Lian chooses to get stabbed over and over rather than create a second plague of Human Face Disease, and White No-Face asks him in shock, “Why??”—as in, why would you ever do that? And Xie Lian responds: “I don’t have a reason—just because I want to! Even if I explained it to you… Useless trash like you wouldn’t understand.” This line is so great. Xie Lian can’t explain it to White No-Face, because, in truth, it isn’t entirely logical. It can’t be explained by reason. I want to do my measly, unimportant part to help the world… because I want to. Because it feels right. Because it’s my way of keeping my heart, of maintaining faith that there is some good in this world worth upholding. (As an aside, I love how the English title of the live action drama—which we may never get to see, God damn censorship!!!!—is called “Eternal Faith.” Of course it refers to Hua Cheng and Xie Lian’s faith in each other, but I think it also means having eternal faith in the value of doing good, despite centuries of experience that seem to show its pointlessness.)

As I talked about in my last post, if you zoom out far enough, nothing really seems to matter. Everything we love and care about will one day be gone. And yet, I believe we still have to act like it matters. This is the basic tenant of existentialism, and I think MXTX portrays this philosophical paradox really beautifully.

It’s funny, because I think MXTX has a lot of profound things to say, but in an interview I read, she warned against viewing her work too deeply, saying, “I am not a guru.” I get that she may not want the responsibility of giving people spiritual advice, but I do think she presents some really fascinating, really novel, philosophical ideas. So, sorry MXTX, but I’m about to analyze TGCF like it’s a piece of freakin scripture. Soo here we go…

The main theme she comes back to again and again is that fortune is limited, so the only way you can do good for others is by taking fortune from somebody else. Which leads the characters to a bunch of ethically impossible choices: the people of Yong’an and the people of Xianle can’t all be saved (Xie Lian must choose who to help), neither can the people of Wuyong and the surrounding kingdoms (Prince of Wuyong must choose), and Shi Wudu can’t save his brother from a tragic fate without taking fortune from an innocent person. When the characters try to avoid choosing, and try to “play God” by creating a “third path,” it just invites disaster.

But is this really true? Is fortune actually limited? It’s an idea that reminds me of Buddhism and Daoism, but also seems kind of revolutionary… (I like to think I know something about Chinese philosophy but it could certainly be a thing and I don’t know). I don’t believe in fate, but I do believe in limited resources, and the idea that nature tends toward balance. I think conceiving of it this way, as a pool of fortune, is really interesting.

It reminds me of this Meme:

In other words, who is the protagonist and who is the villain is entirely based on perspective. And, according to the laws of nature, we all must survive by eating others, or causing others to starve (i.e. avoiding being eaten).

I tried to think if this is really true in all areas of life. I’m a teacher, and one of the ways I convince myself that I am doing good in the world is by helping my students—preparing them well for college so that they can get into good schools and follow their dreams. But then, is this just taking fortune from others? If I do prepare my students well, and as a result they all get into top universities, does that mean they are taking spots away from other students? Am I simply just helping “my own,” at the expense of others?

One place where I see this concept play out very clearly is with our modern, industrialized society. As I mentioned in my last post, we live in a world of abundance. Most of us have enough food to eat, live in houses with electricity and running water, and don’t worry about a whole host of diseases endured by our ancestors. It seems we have done what Xie Lian couldn’t—we have expanded the well of fortune for most of humanity.

But this fortune wasn’t spontaneously created. It was taken from other species. It was borrowed against our own future, when climate change will likely destroy this world of abundance we have created, causing untold suffering. In truth, when it comes to prosperity, there is no such thing as a free lunch.

Even now, when we ought to be enjoying our fortune, most of us are not happy. We want other things. We take food, clothing, and shelter for granted, creating even bigger, more lofty demands—a bigger car, a better house, a machine that’s sole purpose is to make bread. In fact, it seems like whenever we make things “better,” the goalposts just move. I recently read a book called Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, which mentioned that with the advent of washing machines and vacuum cleaners, everyone assumed there would be more free time. Yet, the real outcome was that standards of cleanliness just changed. Suddenly, people expected you to wear fresh clothes every day and have a perfectly dust-free home, which meant spending just as much time cleaning as in the past.

And according to psychologists, getting what we want doesn’t really make us happier. Instead, something like getting a promotion causes our happiness to spike, before it quickly returns to baseline. The psychologist Dan Gilbert writes that the purpose of our emotions is to act like a compass—to tell us which direction to go in. If you feel good, you can continue the way you are going. If you feel bad, you should probably turn—make a change. But if you get what you want and become permanently happy, your compass is now broken. It’s stuck in one direction and becomes useless.

All of this is very Buddhist, of course. Suffering is not caused by our external circumstances, but our desire to change them.

Like I said, I don’t necessarily believe in “fate” or “fortune.” But I believe this all points to something deeper that MXTX is getting at: which is that we cannot fundamentally make a better world, for the common people, or for anyone. This idea of “better” doesn’t really exist. The world is as it is. Trying to alter that is like playing God. And like Xie Lian says, “In this world, there are no true gods…”

So, what do we do? How can we survive this absurdist tragedy of life? I don’t think we can just throw up our hands and not give a shit—that way lies depression and Jun Wu-style cruelty. We cannot lose our heart. But we also can’t try to fix everything.

One thing I find a bit difficult about MXTX is she is very clear about the impossible situations our characters find themselves in, but not really clear about the solution. She seems critical of the characters’ actions (I’m thinking also of Wei Wuxian here), but what exactly does she think they should have done? In other words, what is the point?

I spent a long time thinking about this. And I realized that Xie Lian was able to get back on his feet, find happiness and make peace with himself. How did he do this? Ultimately, I see Xie Lian’s solution as having three parts: self-sacrifice, gratitude, and purpose. Which all sounds very academic and maybe not that profound on an emotional level. But hear me out. Because, in the end, I think these choices are incredibly beautiful. They are the kind of thing that make me feel like reading TGCF was actually a spiritual experience, no matter what MXTX says. That makes me admire Xie Lian and want to follow him (like the God he is).

Okay so first: self-sacrifice. If fortune is limited, and the only way to make others’ lives better is to take fortune from someplace else, then there is really only one place you can take it from without hurting others—yourself.

So, part of Xie Lian’s solution is to take fortune from himself and give it to others. It’s why he asks for a cursed shackle that disperses his fortune, so that his fortune will naturally flow to those around him. It’s, of course, a very small thing. He is no longer playing God, or trying to “fix” the world on a grand scale. He is simply, in his own, quiet way, serving the common people.

My desire to give up meat and to spend more time on activism—these things feel like big sacrifices for me. And yet, they will have a very small impact on the greater situation in the world. They’re a drop in the ocean. I still want to do it, but it’s hard. It’s hard to care, or think that these things matter. Yet, this is the trade-off Xie Lian was willing to make. I really admire him for it.

I believe self-sacrifice is actually a really important, beautiful thing, that our society has forgotten the value of. We are individualistic—obsessed with our own wants. As I mentioned previously, our expectations have risen, so we buy and buy and buy. We are unwilling to rein in our consumption. I know a lot of people baulk at lifestyle changes as a solution to the climate crisis, and I agree that putting pressure on individuals instead of governments or corporations is misguided. But, first of all, there simply aren’t enough resources on earth to sustain our current levels of consumption. And, second… I don’t think we can completely let individuals off the hook. What is society anyway, but a collection of individuals? If we are going to address this thing, it’s going to take a massive movement—bigger than the civil rights movement or the works’ rights movement or the women’s movement. It’s going to take millions of people worldwide getting out of their own heads, their own lives, and concerning themselves with the greater good. That requires immense sacrifice.

Which takes me to gratitude. In order to be willing to sacrifice, you have to appreciate what you already have.

People often talk about gratitude these days as a path to mental health. Instinctively, it sounds like an uplifting, positive thing. And it is… but it also entails having a relatively negative worldview. It means remembering all the horrible things that exist in this world which we are lucky enough to avoid on a daily basis. You stepped in some dog shit? Well, that sucks, but you could have stepped into an open manhole and broken your neck! So! That’s something to be grateful for.

We are all so lucky. I’m sure everyone reading this has pains and traumas and challenges. This isn’t to diminish those, but, I hope, at least we all have at least one person to love. That’s all Hua Cheng had, and it’s what kept him going. Just one person was enough. And most of us, I hope, get to eat food every day, get to sleep in a bed, get to play video games or read novels or write poetry when we are sad. Not everyone gets those things.

Xie Lian, of course, was the king of low expectations, because he knew his future was going to be bad. He had intentionally accepted bad luck for a lifetime. So, there was no point in hoping for things to get better.

I think this attitude is best shown by his interaction with the Venerable of Empty words. The Venerable of Empty Words feeds off people’s fears. But Xie Lian didn’t really have any. When the Venerable of Empty Words warned him that his hut will collapse in two months, his response is, “Two months? If it’s still standing in seven days, then it’ll be a real miracle.” Because his expectations are so low, he’s essentially immune to fear. I can’t help but think that if you could really think this way, it would be a kind of superpower. It reminds me of the famous quote by spiritual teacher Krishnamurti, “Do you know what my secret is? You see, I don’t mind what happens.”

And so Xie Lian is okay with everything. He can sleep anywhere, crash boulders on his chest for money, not eat for three days, regularly suffer corpse poisoning, and still be okay.

Which leads to my third point: purpose. Xie Lian is able to endure such hardship because his expectations are low, but also he knows all his suffering has a purpose. “If I am to become a God of misfortune, then so be it,” he says. “As long as I know deep down that I am not.” He is okay with being laughed at or avoided for his bad luck, because deep down he knows he is doing the right thing. People can withstand a great deal if they feel their suffering has meaning. In Man’s Search for Meaning, the psychiatrist Victor Frankl’s writes about the horrors of living through a concentration camp, and how over and over, it was creating purpose that allowed him, and others, to find motivation to survive. Which I think has an important lesson for self-sacrifice. People are willing to sacrifice a lot, if they feel their sacrifice has purpose.

I get it when MXTX says that she is not a guru, and maybe it’s a lot to ask of a danmei novel to take spiritual advice from it. The book wasn’t necessarily perfect, and I do have some critiques (which I was gonna add here, but this thing is already wayyy too long). But… I do think I found something really meaningful in this story—some inspiration. I want to follow Xie Lian’s example, and live with gratitude and acceptance, while keeping my faith in doing the right thing. In other words, WWXLD! (What Would Xie Lian Do?)

#tgcf #mxtx #heaven official's blessing #tgcf meta #tian guan ci fu #climate change #xie lian #hualian #danmei #chinese bl

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jayktoralldaylong · 2 years

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Imagine being Heaven's Therapist. The person would probably quit after the first day.

Pei Ming would show up there just to flirt, regardless of gender, he will try his luck.

Xie Lian would be the only one showing up daily except that he doesn't like to acknowledge that he has trauma so he'd be laughing about it and feel awkward when the therapist isn't laughing too. Meanwhile the therapist might have second-hand trauma from Xie Lian's jokes.

Mu Qing won't even show up.

Hua Cheng sneaks into heaven just because there's someone getting paid to listen to rants so he can talk about how much he loves Xie Lian all day long.

Jun Wu would also never show up. 2000 years of baggage, one therapist will never be enough.

Feng Xin might show up and actually get shit done. He needs a therapist and not their go-to sarcastic one (I mean you Mu-Qing).

Shi Wudu also wouldn't show up but he'd make Shi Qingxuan go.

Shi Qingxuan would drag Ming Yi with him and it would be so awkward for so many reasons. Cause Shi Qingxuan isn't even aware....that he has trauma...... (Yes, this is pre canon). Ming Yi would go for the snacks though.

Ling Wen would go. It's an important part of her schedule but she's only going because it's the only time she can sip tea in peace and be left alone. She's not speaking a word to the therapist. Except maybe bonding from their stressed out jobs.

Quan Yizhen would go because everyone told him to go. He's not sure why he's there. If someone asks about his feelings he'll talk about Shixiong before he curls on the couch and fall asleep.

Lang Qianqiu...... actually has a lot to get off his chest. Even pre-cannon. It gets worse post-cannon. I'm sure, like Qi Ying, he just wants to ask "Did I do something wrong?"

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kanonavi · 5 months

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hello new mutual navi <3 what are your thoughts on tgcf <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hiiii new mutual Star <3 It's nice to hear from you, even though Hua is a menace and is terrorizing us <3 <3 I'll have you know I was at orchestra rehearsal and was unable to defend myself from their vicious attack, this was all very rude of them lol

But yeah tgcf omg.... I have so many thoughts about it tbh. For reference, I'm currently 6 volumes in (7 is in my possession, just waiting on my roommate to finish it first. If I read past him he'll get sad) and have watched all of the donghua so far and it's like. There are few things that I have felt more like the Target Audience for. My roommate clocked me for this, so this entire thing is his fault and now I've read 6 entire not-insubstantial novels in half a year.

To get the obvious part out of the way, I adore hualian, and out of all of my ships I think they're the closest I've ever gotten to loving both characters in it equally. Like in xiaoven I have a bias for Venti and in xingyun I have a bias for Chongyun, but with hualian I really and truly struggle to pick a favorite. If I had to choose, Xie Lian would probably win out just barely over Hua Cheng, but probably only because we're in his head for the books and thus get to experience his silly thoughts and awful trauma firsthand. However, they are rightfully a set, do not separate in my mind.

I do have a favorite character outside of the main pairing though and that character is Shi Qingxuan and I love her so so so so much it's not even funny. My roommate didn't predict this even though Qingxuan and Venti are so incredibly same guy, it's like. Of course I, renowned Venti enjoyer amongst my compatriots, was going to love the character who's the master of the wind, is a bit silly goofy, enjoys their drink, and also has a cool Gender going on. I have, however, been cursed (blessed) by my roommate's takes about her that don't seem very fandom mainstream, so I am just going to be content rotating her in my brain endlessly. She is in the microwave. Also, it's been an absolute treat watching her in s2 of the donghua, she is everything to me.

The last thing I'll add for my bare minimum thoughts about this series is that I do actually like it for very similar reasons that I like Genshin Impact. In Genshin, I've always been very fond of the immortal characters because I love the way that the writers at mhy explore the humanity of inhuman characters. The Gods and Dragons and Adepti and God-made Puppets and otherwise in Genshin aren't human, but the struggles that they face are incredibly human, whether living like and alongside humanity is one of their goals or not.

Tgcf, with its humans (exceptional humans, but still humans) that ascend to godhood, is much the same to me. Most of the Upper Court officials are completely detached from humanity much of the time, but their struggles and their vices are completely and totally human. Xie Lian is the most interesting of them all to me, since he's used his godhood to live the human life that he was never allowed when he was actually human, and I could go on an entire rant about that but I'll spare you the details. Every character in the series is so interesting in the way that their human problems have been left to grow and fester over the course of the centuries, and it's both awful and enthralling to watch.

oops that was so long my head is very full of thoughts. Thank you for the ask, even though it was kind of an arranged playdate lol I appreciate the chance to ramble <3

#navi answers #stardust-make-a-wish #Also if my roommate is reading this don't laugh at me #Which is basically an invitation to laugh at me so rip #My brainrot over this series is crippling please send help

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user-needs-new-hyperfixation · 1 year

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An incomplete list of things in TGCF Volume 4 that made me shriek or laugh:

(TGCF spoilers but like, as per usual I’m very late to this fandom so not sure it matters)

The illustration of sleepy Quan Yizhen yeeting a table at Pei Ming is very fun.

Xie Lian you beautiful dingus that thing you’re feeling is called jealousy and you are jealous of yourself (literally the only kind of love triangle I can stand is the Two-Person Love Triangle, it’s both funny and frustrating).

PFFFFT coffin scene, good grief you two are absolute disasters. "Why didn’t you just build a bigger coffin?” I’m wheezing. 🤣 (That said, I’m annoyed by the implication that Hua Cheng was also having a *ahem* “problem” in this scene, for the same reason vampire boners annoy me. Like at least Hua Cheng sometimes has a functioning circulatory system, but he did just shift into the form that doesn’t automatically have one. Logically, as tragic a loss as it is for moments like this, that man should only be able to get hard on purpose. End of rant lmao.)

Poor Pei Ming building coffins all night when they’re no longer needed lol.

I am very very worried about Shi Qingxuan somebody give that precious baby a hug.

I absolutely adore Xie Lian’s complete trust of Hua Cheng and his refusal to do anything other than give him the benefit of the doubt.

Local god pinned to his own altar and kissed senseless by his most loyal believer, who built the altar: 10/10 this is excellent.

Xie Lian seeing through “Lang Ying” and cornering him into admitting who he is was very cute.

The automatic “Ling Wen, something bad happened!” when Ling Wen is causing the problem, and her just going “I know.” 😂

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hualian

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ocdhuacheng · 2 years

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Hey, so can I ask about the thought process (idk words but anyway) behind why you headcanoned Hua Cheng as having OCD cuz I'm very interested? :0

KSJDNKSJDFN sorry it took so long to reply to this I promise I wasn’t ignoring you I was just overwhelmed this week and then after I actually sat down to write out my very long answer I accidentally unplugged my computer and I LOST IT ALL so sorry but this version Is going to be rather incoherent and missing stuff probably bc its pretty much just copied and pasted from one of my discord rambles/previous posts bc I don’t have the energy or memory to rewrite everything how I had it before.. but ive kept u waiting long enough so. Yeah. Sorry.

Also if I sound salty at all its not anything directed at you im just pissed at myself for writing like >3k words all in tumblr like a fool and not backing it up then accidentally yanking on my computer cord like RIGHT as I was going to post it. But I promise im actually very happy getting asks like these even if it takes me a long time to respond ;_;

So anyway basically the tldr version is that I have ocd and I love rubbing my terrible little projection paws all over my favorite characters, but also I do genuinely think that what we are shown of hua chengs personality and actions does naturally lead to the headcanon that he has ocd (and ocpd), kind of like how it seems very clear to me that wwx has adhd and lwj is autistic.

Longer version under cut bc. Well. Sorry in advance lol

So. To start off. my ocd got suuuuuper bad in my second year of college, like to the point where my parents and psychologist was considering putting me in a hospital, so i know how awful ocd can get. and because of that ive always been kinda annoyed that all the ocd """""rep""""" in media is just comedic relief kinda stereotypical clean-freak perfectionist haha look at this weirdo sort of thing. like I was barely functional I couldn’t do basic tasks the majority of the time. ironically, my room was extremely dirty and messy despite my main obsession being about contamination. so yeah not all ocd manifests as the spotless perfect room perfect closet perfect desk or whatever the fuck. sometimes its the opposite. I also got put on academic probation bc I failed all but one of my classes (the one I passed was an art class. Lowkey think that class was the only thing keeping me out of a psych ward that quarter. lol. But anyway. That’s a different conversation) BUT ANYWAY it was all around Awful. Like idk it makes me feel kind of stupid for being such a mess before my medications when everyone just sees ocd as a joke or something. like for example, i loove death the kid soul eater, and hes a good character to make fun of urself after you’ve been medicated for ocd, but i wouldnt exactly call him good rep lmao. But after that relapse episode, I kind of really really really desperately needed a character/story to relate to about it but yippee! there are approximately zero (0) canon ocd characters that aren’t comedic relief! but anyway, i know hua cheng isnt canonically ocd but i was actually able to project on him alot from what we got of his personality (and i do gotta say, sorry but despite my attachment to him i dont actually think hes written all that well, but thats another rant), and its part of the reason why i love him so much bc hes like, definitely my biggest projecttion in this regard. so anyway

i mean theres no argument that his personality and actions are very. obsessive, and rather unhealthy to a degree, especially when he was younger, not so much as he matured over literally 800 years lol but he still has some hella issues. so like, [gestures to all of him] with how he chose xie lian as. HIS PERSON, and proceeded to revolve his entire personality and life around him is obvi v obsessive, i think its very obsessive compulsive personality disorder, which is slightly different than just ocd, one difference being (besides ocd being an anxiety disorder and ocpd being a personality disorder.) in that with ocpd, you dont really think theres anything wrong with how obsessive or compulsive you are, while with ocd it causes a lot of distress. (i havent been formally diagnosed with ocpd, but i do think i definitely at the very least have tendencies in that direction too. Like with certain things i know what im doing/thinking is irrational and it upsets me, but with others im just like. why cant other people see this the way i do? why cant they just understand why this is important? like I just get so! Angry! all the time! with people or in general when things aren’t how I want them to be. I get so judgemental even when other people cant possibly know how specific my standards are like I know its bad and I know it makes me act like a bitch and im sorry) anyway……….. sorry about the tangent but back to hua cheng. he is never distressed by how much he fixates on xie lian, the only thing that distresses him is his own percieved shortcomings with how he cannot serve xie lian the way he wants to. im not sure im explaining this well but i do definitely think hua cheng has ocpd as well. his fixation on xie lian actively prevents him forming meaningful relationships with other people, and even causes a lot of antagonism between him and others (especially fxmq). he just doesnt think anyone else is worthy of his attention. which is obviously, very unhealthy and kind of sad. (i do like to think he grows out of this a bit like with yin yu and he xuan, even if he doesnt want to admit it. AND YUSHI HUANG, bc i am also a ysh/hc brotp propaganda machine as well, and well because she was the only one that was willing to help xie lian during the war too. gay lesbian solidarity mwah <3)

so this ocpd thing.. i believe it extends to things like how the temple in ghost city, or paradise manor, is set up, he'd be classic perfectionist for the layout of it all, probably gave yin yu a lot of grief over it every single time he changed his mind and decided to burn it to the ground or redecorate it because it didnt seem good enough anymore for the hypothetical day when he can bring xie lian there. i dont like to think hua cheng treated yin yu badly on purpose, i dont like thinking hes cruel to him for the sake of being cruel like ive seen some people imply or outright suggest, i mean yin yu is obviously overworked but i think part of that is just hua cheng is so perfectionist about certain things (how the temples and manors look, how theyre run, anything that can be used for or by xie lian in the future) and he just doesnt see that its become a large burden on yin yu because he thinks this kind of stuff is just the rational thing to do, and that everyone should put as much thought into these things as he does. and if he doesnt feel like he can get things to be set up the way he wants it to be it becomes. catastrophic lol

so thats more of the pure ocpd side, though there is a lot of overlap between ocpd and ocd obvi

one thing about ocd is like. its all about wanting to be in control of every tiny part of your life. like for me when certain things are out of my control it freaks me out so much that it basically disables me. Its why I hate planes so much despite cars being statistically much more dangerous. Because if something happens in a car I at least have some semblance of control over how I can escape the situation. In a plane youre just. Fucked. (sorry to all pilots its nothing personal I think youre braver than I will ever be but its basically impossible for me to trust you (and the engineers and inspectors) with my life like that) anyway, i despise ambiguity of any kind and i hate not knowing things or having concrete answers to any questions or worries i have. like. i couldnt decide on a hypothetical grad school because i was weighing the possibilities down to like, ridiculous perceived probability percentages of how likely a natural disaster were to occur in the area, and how dangerous said natural disasters could be, etc. (well. i didnt have to worry about any of that in the end bc i got rejected from literally every school i applied to LMAO RIP but anyway.) so you get the gist. its all just very irrational, and time consuming, and ridiculous to try to gain control of every single possible path your life can take. AND I HATE IT. that was kinda yet another tangent but, to apply this concept to hua cheng. one thing that i find super funny about him is how he always has his nose in everyones personal business like hes such a fucking gossip girl its hilarious. like jokes aside its obvi helpful as a ghost king to know whats going on in the 3 realms, but i think he takes his info gathering up to 11 like he definitely has these control issues about having to know about everything thats going on at all times, having to be on top of everyones business so he cant be caught off guard by anything. over those 800 years of sending his butterflies out recording things he was primarily looking for xie lian, but hes also just kind of. snooping. lmfao. Because If He Doesnt Know Whats Going On Everywhere He Will Die. (again)

and well. with his butterflies to help him, it does work, i mean. hes always on top of things hes always got a plan, hes always the one that people are going to in the book if theyre in trouble. He seems so put together but the things he cant get information on completely eat him alive sometimes. cant let others know that tho, bc hes Cool(TM), hes Chill(TM). cant let anyone know there are things that, god forbid, hes IGNORANT of. embarrassing. tch.

his hoarding im a little ? about because i dont exactly remember the details of it but i do know he has a ridiculous amount of like trinkets and weapons and magical items and stuff in paradise manor, but i also know he doesnt really care if they get destroyed or not, which is kind of strange but i do what i want and im making him a hoarder bc im somewhat of a hoarder and i love projecting. though now that i think about it. like if i have a big pile of something that i dont want to get rid of, but someone else does it for me without asking or something happens to it like yeah i get angry but sometimes i also just get kind of relieved……….. idk.

so now about intrusive thoughts, i bet he has suuper disturbing ones. Like we know how he was debating slaughtering those humans on mt tonglu but ended up not because xie lian would have saved them. obviously that was already a stressful unusual situation but like i dont think that kind of thing gets any better even when hes just like. chilling. he gets visions of himself burning ghost city to the ground or attacking humans or destroying his own ashes or otherwise causing harm to others, like yin yu. like he pretends he doesnt care about yin yu and he xuan and stuff but i do think hes fond of them, but he tries to keep his distance because 1) hes dumb and 2) he gets really freaked out by these violent thoughts he has about them. the worst is, when he finally meets xie lian again he gets these thoughts about him too and it takes literally everything he has not to like. throw himself into a volcano, or something.

and its already been established his self image isnt. great. which is a kind way of saying it. he thinks hes worthless and ugly, esp if he does even the slightest thing wrong. I mean I definitely think hes better by the current timeline of the book, but it still reads as a kind of precarious thing to me? Like he wants to be a companion to xie lian instead of just a servant like wu ming, but even after 800 years he still feels this inferiority and disregard for himself u know? If im explaining in an okay way? and body dysmorphia is also something that can be ocd related. OH and i forgot to say this before but ocd/ocpd can also sometimes be a way that ptsd can manifest and id definitely say with all that he was said to have gone through as a child he has ptsd, leading to, well, exacerbated ocd symptoms, among other things. his body dysmorphia is obviously something he internalized (for 800 years!!!) from when he was a child, and i can imagine him absolutely agonizing for centuries over his san lang form, because it was supposed to be his most perfect form, he needed to make it perfect, and he never felt like he could

similarly, for the cleanliness side of ocd that i feel is kind of stereotypical? at least how its portrayed in most media, hua cheng has been show a couple times not wanting to get things (or xie lian) dirty. he was very poor and dirty as a child so now he has the connection of being dirty = being miserable, and this is taken to the extreme when he becomes a supreme bc now hes rich and able to be clean and any dirt or blood on him or something/someone he cares about (’cant let you down the ground is dirty’; shielding the flower, etc) is like. an attack on this power he has now ? iykwim

anyway sorry this is long and rambly. if you actually read it all… respect……. Also ignore those parts where I might get a little too personal :^) like idk if it is but I feel like I might regret some of this in the morning. honks. Anywayyyy as you can see im completely normal about hua cheng im saaaaaauuuuur normal and well adjusted and I just think hes neat oky byeee jumps out my window

#yiling-patriarch-kinnie #hua cheng #ocd tag #asks #tgcf #.txt #cc #anyway a lot of this is copied from other stuff so if anyone sees me repeat things verbatim from another post/chat..... mind ur business <3

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everybodylovesyuu · 2 years

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why MXTX is my new most favourite author

So recently, I started watching The Untamed and then decided midway through that I want that bl so I tried to switch to the novel and that... was a whole fcking mess where now I have no clue what's canon and what's not cause I ended up finishing it by half watching through The Untamed, half through the manhua and half through the novel...

And then I decided to try Scum Villain (SVSSS) and then Heaven Official's Blessing (TGCF) as well because I enjoyed both MDZS and SVSSS. And 3 books later, I'm now writing a post just to express my love for MXTX's wonderful amazing writing. And just to scream into the void of all the reasons why I love her works.

1. Premises

Starting off, her ideas are just very unique and I absolutely love how hooking each of them are!! The world building, the plotting and the settings are insane in practically all of her novels and I'm just in awe of how consistently she keeps coming up with something fresh and interesting that will grab the interest of everyone who stumbles across it.

2. Genres

As somebody who likes to write myself, I consider comedy as the hardest genre to write. Followed by sexual/erotic scenes. And action too! MXTX somehow manages to do all of them so well and I just feel a lot of admiration for her as a writer for all the fun and the heartbreak that she puts into her stories.

3. Romance

MXTX's romance is just *chef's kiss*. There's no other word for it, it's just mind blowingly good. It never gets to the point of being "cheesy" or "cringey" or too forced. It always sounds natural, feels good and feels deep. There is a pattern to how she writes her main characters but I love it. I love that pattern. It's always the other MC (LBG, LWJ, HC) that falls first and falls deep while we see the story from the point of view of someone who falls without even knowing it (SY, WWX, XL). What that leaves behind is the constant thrum of anticipation, of knowing what their actions mean while the main MC is being dumb and frustrating lol. Her dialogues and scenes between them are always just 😵‍💫 [Eg. wangxian's first kiss?? hua cheng's 3000 lanterns??] There is so much love through actions and acts of service and it translates so well into what they have. She writes romance that is meant for the centuries.

4. Characters

MXTX's characters are just. so. good??? Like I'm not even talking about the main characters, it's always the side characters. Like she just has a way of writing such rounded fleshed-out characters with their own stories and own behaviours and own reasonings and you can't help but love them. Really, even the antagonists have so much in them that you can't help but feel for them, even if you hate what they have done. I love how her characterization for each of them is so distinct and clear and their conversations are always so so natural and real and I feel so in awe of the situations she builds up around them. Their problems are always something that can never be blamed onto a single person– they are deep and multi-faceted just like real life. The choices made by the characters are always right in their own terms and you can't even hate them for those choices because you understand the reasoning. That is how real life is and MXTX captures it so so well.

5. Side Stories

Also, what's with her side stories being so fcking angsty 😭 Like beefleaf (Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan) and Banyue in TGCF, XXC/SXC/Xue Yang in MDZS, Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan in SVSSS??? She does NOT hold back on the side characters and gives them so much depth that you just start caring for each and every one of them. You see them in a thousand different lights from their own monsters to the smiles they have on now. She writes her side characters like they are real people too and I absolutely love that. So much. That automatically made her one of my favourite authors ever.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my long rant for why I love MXTX and her writing so much lmao. I don't think anyone is interested but I had to get it out of my system. She's fcking amazing.

#tgcf #mdzs #svsss #mxtx #writing #basically just me loving mxtx for how awesome she is

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lanshappycorner · 4 years

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Damb ppl nowadays rly DM me and then never reply again after I respond like. ok why did u msg me

#dude in another site i have my icon as hua cheng and someone dmed me and was like 👀👀 u lead tgcf??#and i was like yea!! 👀 and then they never replied again #why do i even still go on that hellsite anymore anyways i hate it!!#i keep getting weirdass DMS from ppl on that site i dont get it WHAT did i even DO to those ppl #i can list off at least 4 times someone dmed me and ended up never replying/blocking me for some reason even tho i did absolutely nothing!!#on the other side of the spectrum someone once DMed me and was like hi its ur stalker :) UMM EXCUSE ME???#ALSO dont get me STARTED on that one person who was like hi we've never talked but I've decided to worship you :)) and they meant that like-#-unironically!! i dont even post shit on that site anymore i just ghost every now and then!! how do ppl find me?? why do i get weirdass DMs!#sjfjsf this is turning into a rant but while i AM freaked out sometimes by these its also on some lv funny zjfjsjx #ive recieved so many strange dms before thats why im so cautious about them now 😔👊#lans idiotic storytime 101

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starbiology · 2 years

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Would you ever consider doing a meta on lqq? Especially what you mean by his morals?

Sure!!

Im not the best with character analysis so please understand this is just me having fun talking about Lang Qianqiu bcz I love him and I love TGCF

!SPOILERS!

i think where most of the early mismatch between the portrayal of Lang Qianqiu's personality and his actions is due to the story being told from Xie Lian’s perspective. Xie Lian is a VERY unreliable narrator which is important to keep in mind when really looking at any characters in the book. Makes it extra fun!

A lot of readers either miss, or just nearly miss the fact that Lang Qianqiu buried Xie Lian alive, stabbing his chest through with a dowel to make sure he couldn’t escape the coffin. It’s purposeful that its a very easy detail to miss. Throughout the novel Xie Lian refuses to acknowledge his past if he believes he was at fault and deserved whatever mistreatment.

In this case it leads to an introduction of Lang Qianqiu as this naïve and rash character who is friendly and a little dumb, the reader at this point does not know that this guy literally buried the main character alive so he seems very sincere. He continues in the Ghost City chapters to be played up as this kind of character. He even cant stand the thought of not upholding justice to the point where he blows their cover condemning the ghost city residents in a rant...

“This hellish place reeks of smoke and corruption, and it’s filled to the brim with demonic chaos. What scum is gathered here, committing what kinds of deeds? Running a place like this, none of you have a single trace of humanity!” (lol)

But then he quickly doubles back shortly after that if Hua Cheng is Xie Lian’s friend then XL can’t ever lie to HC “one should never deceive a friend”. It’s a pretty freaking hilarious switch in mood that gives you whiplash. The only reason he changed his tune on HC is bcz the other god he “just met” is supposedly friends with him. That’s really it, it’s not like anyone said “oh no HC doesnt ACTUALLY accept cruel bets”, because well he does and so LQQ just simply accepts it because he decides friendship is more important than his godly stuff. Its weird but you assume that hes just kind of silly.

So alright, he values Justice and Righteousness but over that, friendship and loyalty. Even more than his roles of a god.

He finds out that XL was his past teacher who he believes killed his family and has this huge confrontation then chases XL down and then has a bigger confrontation where hes crying and yelling all proudly at XL that he’ll never become like XL.

Then we get into what Ill call “Post- I found out the friend I thought I had as a mortal 300 some years ago deceived me” aka “LQQ goes back on everything he just passionately cried about”

This is my fav LQQ, and takes up basically the rest of the book until the very end.

He starts it by cleaving Qi Rong in half then boiling him alive snapping at XL that he should be allowed to make him suffer when XL yells out to him. Its shockingly gruesome, but i wouldnt say “hes not acting like himself”. I dont think thats really fair due to the fact that he challenged XL to a duel to the death despite already having buried him alive. He already has done acts of cruelty purely for the sake of revenge, its not justice. He’s very much acting like himself, just even more aggressive.

He continues throughout the book in the bg trying to find QR’s ashes to truly kill him. Theres a point where everyone is looking for Jun Wu and I truly believed when he yelled out “found him!” he meant Guzi, who we assume was just burned to death, but no he drags Qi Rong’s body out and tries to kill him lol

Its only at the point when the rest of Qi Rong’s ghost fire disappears and LQQ isn’t even sure that hes the one that actually killed him does he realize he’s fucked up. He didnt do anything to get his family back he just killed another person, one who has a son who mourns him just the same as he with his own parents (just know im sitting there like 👌oooh chefs kiss love love love this circle narrative).

And now hes suddenly responsible for his obsessive vengeance and the harm it caused, taking in Guzi and (working on) restoring Qi Rong’s soul. It’s only at this part that I think his character changes from what he was like at the start. That whole “out for justice” early Lang Qianqiu and “out for bloody revenge” Lang Qianqiu were one in the same, its not til he puts aside his vengeance that his character changes.

Okay tldr,

I love Lang Qianqiu very much. hes a crazy ass bitch who became even more crazy ass bitch but he gets a pass on his crazy from the gods because he seems nice and a little naive when really he decides whats Just is what hes feeling at the moment and will kill u. At the very end of the book is when his character changes and its v v good.

#asks #lang qianqiu #tgcf #long post

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deathcupcake · 2 years

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Favorite Chinese Drama Pairs 2021

Because I have been deep into Chinese (mostly) dramas this year, and they tend to be heavy on tropes and relationships (and angst/pain), I find myself with hundreds of screenshots of (mostly) pairings depicting both romance and friendship. Here are the ones that have made 2021 bearable (not all are from 2021 shows).

There are definite spoilers here but pretty sure no one is reading this.

Romantic Pairs

Gao BingZhu and Wu SiYue from Luoyang / Fēng Qǐ Luò Yáng

Thanks to Luoyang being fast-paced and not overly tropey, this romance worked extremely well for me. A bit of a slow burn with moments of angst, given how much their lives were thrown into chaos by both foes and friends. The chemistry was there from the start and progressed logically, but quietly, never overshadowing the actual storyline. I really love them both, they are hands down my favorite couple of the year. And that is why I’m still not over it, dammit. I’ll never be over it. I love bittersweet but what’s up with the tragic? I swear I’ve watched way more tragic endings in Chinese dramas than not. And I’m not ok with it.

Wen KeXing and Zhou Zishou aka WenZhou from Word of Honor / Shan He Ling / Tian Ya Ke

I had/have so many unsatisfied thoughts at the end of the series, but it’s still a show that I enjoy rewatching. Really enjoy. The dialog and expressions on these actors’ faces speaks volumes. The show is somewhat messy, though (for cultural/political reasons) and left me ranting about stupid plot holes. Reading the book filled in a few of the holes, but because the adaptation of the show veered quite a bit, there were still some very unsatisfactory threads. Overall, though, the main relationship, costumes, feel, basic story, and relationships between so many of the minor characters makes me extremely happy. WenZhou forever.

Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian aka WangXian from The Untamed / Chen Qing Ling / Mo Dao Zu Shi

WangXian will probably be one of my favorite pairings ever, up there with Han & Leia. I will always have misgivings about near-obsessive personalities, but WangJi is a logical, externally reserved, protective kinda guy that carries a torch forever (apparently, I love that) and despite - or maybe because of - some less astute moments in his youth, he is my favorite type of character. The only thing that annoys me about the show/series/book is that the characters are (mostly) so young, and I am an old, old lady, so I have less tolerance for some of the silliness caused by themselves. I think that’s why I might prefer the WenZhou relationship more: they are older and Seen Some Shit, which makes them far less silly (and more flirty).

Gu Xiang and Cao WeiNing from Word of Honor / Shan He Ling / Tian Ya Ke

I fell in love with A-Xiang the minute we met her, and the same with WeiNing. I’ll never be over it, you hear me? Never. Precious cinnamon rolls forever!!!

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng / San Lang aka HuaLian from Heaven Official’s Blessing / Tian Guan Ci Fu

I really enjoyed Xie Lian’s slow realization of his feelings, even though Hua Cheng’s obsession somewhat bothers me. However, since the obsession is in the protection trope vein, I’m generally ok with it. I don’t find either Xie Lian or Hua Cheng overly deep or intriguing, but that also was refreshing. I do think they are the most outwardly romantic pair from MXTX’s three major novels - and I actually appreciated the fact that she didn’t try to write more of the simply awful sex scenes that made their ways into Scum-Villain’s Self-Saving System and Mo Dao Zu Shi. No shame meant on writing pwp or any (consensual) sex, but I still shudder at how painfully awful those were. In contrast, the night-long “transfer of energy” scene in Qiangdeng Temple was pretty sexy.

QingQing and Xue QianXun from Miss The Dragon / Yulong

Miss The Dragon / Yulong was a decent enough story, and the visuals were nice, but the main couple were just ok. It was the side-story couple that made me look forward to finishing the series. Without a doubt, it was a more tragic and better resolved storyline. Again, see my favorite kind of character: the logical, emotionally reserved Xue QianXun. QingQing was also adorable.

Jing Beiyuan and Wu Xi from Qi Ye / Lord Seventh (screencap from Word of Honor / Shan He Ling)

I am including this one even though I don’t really feel that Jing Beiyuan and Wu Xi are on the same page, and that bothers me. Yet I adore Wu Xi for his ability to cut through all Beiyuan’s bullshit, and I do love a reincarnation story. However, I think I prefer their relationship depicted in Word of Honor much more than the book. Qi Ye wasn’t a bad read, but it is yet another danmei book that follows the obsessive and submissive path, which is not really my cup of tea. It doesn’t hurt that Fan JinWei looks like a cinnamon roll that can kill you.

Non-Romance Pairs

QingMing and BoYa from Yin Yang Master: Dream of Eternity

I will take these two as soulmate friends thank you very much. The actors depicted the characters so well and so connected, I do not need the characters to be romantic (though the production clearly toed that line). They are so satisfying as they are. I am actually mulling over a short fic that places them firmly in “devoted to you forever” friend land, but not exactly sure where to go with it. The movie is beautiful, which helps me overlook all the flaws. It also didn’t hurt that the demon servants/spirit guardians were often depicted as if right out of my young Goth daydreams (long hair, sharp cheekbones, skirts, makeup/eyeliner, jfc hand me that fan I’m getting the vapors).

Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui from The Untamed / Chen Qing Ling / Mo Dao Zu Shi & The Living Dead

Best boys, best cousins, I have the softest spot in my heart for Ghost General Wen Ning and sweet, empathetic, smart Lan Sizhui. I want to pinch and kiss their cheeks and pat them on their heads and tuck them into bed. I will protecc these little babies with my life.

Shi QingXuan and Ming Yi aka BeefLeaf from Heaven Official’s Blessing / Tian Guan Ci Fu

To be honest, this side relationship was more intriguing to me than the main couple’s relationship. I would love to read an entire book about Ming Yi / He Xuan from his POV. I know folks ship these two as romantic partners but for me, there is too much baggage/backstory to feel comfortable about that. However, I do like to think that in all the time that the two have known each other, Ming Yi might not outright hate Shi QingXuan and grudgingly kinda miss him/her/they. Still doesn’t excuse what horror he caused.

Prince Bo and Prince Chuan from The Wolf

I loved that while these two were rivals, they still helped each other and felt a kinship/bond despite all the reasons they should hate each other. I wasn’t happy with the main couple’s resolution, but did like the promise of a better resolution for Prince Chuan. And when either of the actors smile, it’s like a beautiful day.

#2021 favorite pairs #favorite pairs #Cdrama #once again i bemoan the fact that a lot of wuxia and xianxia #does not seem to like women that aren't love interests #or even women at all #recommend me good women-centered stories if you have them #man i'm still not over luoyang #best of 2021 #2021 favorites

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