my core four headcannons lol
tw: mentioned ed, mentioned intrusive thoughts, trauma, and internalized homophobia
archie:
good and sporty boy bi.
works out when he’s stressed.
shadow boxes as a stim.
he has a hard time eating and will work himself to the point of exhaustion bc of his time in prison.
he used to play guitar all the time but now he has trouble remembering it all.
he/him and didn’t really understand pronouns until jughead and veronica explained them to him.
he doesn’t cry easily and you can tell how mad he is if he cries.
hiram gave both him and vee horrible body issues.
he’s neurodivergent, probably ADD or ADHD.
has such a hard time with tone, bless his soul.
everyone thought he was the token straight friend of the group before he and jug dated.
he’s had a crush on jughead since they were kids.
came out to his dad right before his dad died.
jughead:
sad and poetic ace/gay.(he's canonically ace in the comics so i need that rep)
has a tumbler called yesihadanmcrphase and cheryl follows it but doesn’t know it’s him.
he wishes he wrote happy stories.
has horrible intrusive thoughts all the time.
really bad at showing emotions(has kanner’s syndrome).
he has ocd and kanner’s syndrome(which is under the autism spectrum) but was never treated for either up until fp got a stable job as the sheriff.
has always liked men and had a crush on archie(that is why his mom thought they were dating).
cries himself to sleep at night and has horrible night terrors.
secretly obsessed with harry styles and taylor swift lol.
he/they but doesn’t really care.
read a lot of lemony snicket books as a kid.
came out to his parents when he was like eight but didn’t come out to archie until junior year.
betty has known since eighth grade.
veronica guessed it.
betty:
preppy lesbian who likes nancy drew a little too much.
she has high masking BPD that was mistaken for psychosis disorder.
blames herself for what happened with the black hood and couldn’t look anyone in the eye after it was revealed to be her dad.
she loves true crime documentaries and the board game clue.
used to pray to be normal bc she grew up thinking liking girls was bad and that your brain shouldn’t work differently than others.
she got over that and jughead was the first person she came out to(polly was the next person).
she doesn’t know how to reject men so she just pretended her and jug were dating and now everyone thinks they are.
hates when people refer to them as #bughead bc she’s her own person.
she/her but doesn’t mind they/them.
penelope scott
veronica:
mafia queen bi girlboss.
really likes playing poker but their dad didn’t let her play it as a kid bc they’re a girl.
really hates being alone and likes being around people.
physical touch is their love language.
has body issues and anxiety from living with her dad and all the problems he caused.
really good at manipulating but also really easy to manipulate.
has depression but doesn’t talk ab it and prefers to act like everything is fine.
pronouns are they/she and their parents don’t know she’s bi or demigirl.
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in honor of that anon who said jews have done nothing for the world, here’s a non exhaustive list of things we’ve done for the world:
arts, fashion, and lifestyle:
jeans - levi strauss
modern bras - ida rosenthal
sewing machines - isaac merritt singer
modern film industry - carl laemmle (universal pictures), adolph zukor (paramount pictures), william fox (fox film forporation), louis b. mayer (mgm - metro-goldwyn-mayer), harry, sam, albert, and jack warners (warner bros.), steven spielberg, mel brooks, marx brothers
operetta - jacques offenbach
comic books - stan lee
graphic novels - will eisner
teddy bears - morris and rose michtom
influential musicians - irving berlin, stephen sondheim, benny goodman, george gershwin, paul simon, itzhak perlman, leonard bernstein, bob dylan, leonard cohen
artists - mark rothko
actors - elizabeth taylor, jerry lewis, barbara streisand
comedians - lenny bruce, joan rivers, jerry seinfeld
authors - judy blume, tony kushner, allen ginsberg, walter mosley
culture:
esperanto - ludwik lazar zamenhof
feminism - betty friedan, gloria steinem, ruth bader ginsberg
queer and trans rights - larry kramer, harvey milk, leslie feinberg, abby stein, kate bornstein, frank kameny, judith butler
international women's day - clara zetkin
principles of journalizm, statue of liberty, and pulitzer prize - joseph pulitzer
"the new colossus" - emma lazarus
universal declaration of human rights - rene samuel cassin
holocaust remembrance and human rights activism - elie wiesel
workers rights - louis brandeis, rose schneiderman
public health care, women's rights, and children's rights - lillian wald
racial equity - rabbi abraham joshua heschel, julius rosenwald, andrew goodman, michael schwerner
political theory - hannah arendt
disability rights - judith heumann
black lives matter slogan and movement - alicia garza
#metoo movement - jodi kantor
institute of sexology - magnus hirschfeld
technology:
word processing computers - evelyn berezin
facebook - mark zuckerberg
console video game system - ralph henry baer
cell phones - amos edward joel jr., martin cooper
3d - leonard lipton
telephone - philipp reis
fax machines - arthur korn
microphone - emile berliner
gramophone - emile berliner
television - boris rosing
barcodes - norman joseph woodland and bernard silver
secret communication system, which is the foundation of the technology used for wifi - hedy lamarr
three laws of robotics - isaac asimov
cybernetics - norbert wiener
helicopters - emile berliner
BASIC (programming language) - john george kemeny
google - sergey mikhaylovich brin and larry page
VCR - jerome lemelson
fax machine - jerome lemelson
telegraph - samuel finley breese morse
morse code - samuel finley breese morse
bulletproof glass - edouard benedictus
electric motor and electroplating - boris semyonovich jacobi
nuclear powered submarine - hyman george rickover
the internet - paul baran
icq instant messenger - arik vardi, yair goldfinger,, sefi vigiser, amnon amir
color photography - leopold godowsky and leopold mannes
world's first computer - herman goldstine
modern computer architecture - john von neumann
bittorrent - bram cohen
voip internet telephony - alon cohen
data archiving - phil katz, eugene roshal, abraham lempel, jacob ziv
nemeth code - abraham nemeth
holography - dennis gabor
laser - theodor maiman
instant photo sharing online - philippe kahn
first automobile - siegfried samuel marcus
electrical maglev road - boris petrovich weinberg
drip irrigation - simcha blass
ballpoint pen and automatic gearbox - laszlo biro
photo booth - anatol marco josepho
medicine:
pacemakers and defibrillators - louise robinovitch
defibrillators - bernard lown
anti-plague and anti-cholera vaccines - vladimir aronovich khavkin
polio vaccine - jonas salk
test for diagnosis of syphilis - august paul von wasserman
test for typhoid fever - ferdinand widal
penicillin - ernst boris chain
pregnancy test - barnhard zondek
antiretroviral drug to treat aids and fight rejection in organ transplants - gertrude elion
discovery of hepatitis c virus - harvey alter
chemotherapy - paul ehrlich
discovery of prions - stanley prusiner
psychoanalysis - sigmund freud
rubber condoms - julius fromm
birth control pill - gregory goodwin pincus
asorbic acid (vitamin c) - tadeusz reichstein
blood groups and rh blood factor - karl landsteiner
acyclovir (treatment for infections caused by herpes virus) - gertrude elion
vitamins - caismir funk
technique for measuring blood insulin levils - rosalyn sussman yalow
antigen for hepatitus - baruch samuel blumberg
a bone fusion technique - gavriil abramovich ilizarov
homeopathy - christian friedrich samuel hahnemann
aspirin - arthur ernst eichengrun
science:
theory of relativity - albert einstein
theory of the electromagnetic field - james maxwell
quantum mechanics - max born, gustav ludwig hertz
quantum theory of gravity - matvei bronstein
microbiology - ferdinand julius cohn
neuropsychology - alexander romanovich luria
counters for x-rays and gamma rays - robert hofstadter
genetic engineering - paul berg
discovery of the antiproton - emilio gino segre
discovery of cosmic microwave background radiation - arno allan penzias
discovery of the accelerating expansion of the universe - adam riess and saul merlmutter
discovery that black hole formation is a robust prediction of the general theory of relativity - roger penrose
discovery of a supermassive compact object at the center of the milky way - andrea ghez
modern cosmology and the big bang theory - alexander alexandrovich friedmann
stainless steel - hans goldschmidt
gas powered vehicles
interferometer - albert abraham michelson
discovery of the source of energy production in stars - hans albrecht bethe
proved poincare conjecture - grigori yakovlevich perelman
biochemistry - otto fritz meyerhof
electron-positron collider - bruno touschek
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Riverdale’s gay gene
Okay so, the riverdale gay gene theory goes something like this: just like the serial killer gene, sexuality is inherited in the riverdale universe, mainly from parents to children, but in some cases (like cheryl and toni) from the most prominent ancestor featured in the show so far (season 6). How does it work? idk, it’s riverdale but my theory is that 1bi/gay parent = 1bi child, and 2bi parents = 1gay or 1bi children.
The Cooper-Smith family: in season 6 Betty is confirmed bisexual and that implies that one of her prominent ancestors is gay, which could point to Bitsy Smith from 06x05. HOWEVER the storyline of Abigail-Poppy-Cheryl being immortal is not within the continuity of season 6, and Bitsy and Betty are not related (also confirmed by Madelaine Petsch). Therefore Betty gets her bisexuality from either her father or her mother, but most likely her mother Alice since she is also the one who gave the serial killer gene to her and Charles, who has the gay gene too.
The Smith-Jones family: Charles gets either his gay gene from Alice or FP, but (see above) most likely is from Alice or both of them if we go by the theory that 2bi parents are needed to produce 1gay child.
The Jones family: by the 2bi=1gay formula theory, FP is bi (unconfirmed), which makes Jughead bi. Nevertheless, he would remain bi even if we don’t go with the gay formula and FP is not bi, since Gladys aka jugmom is most likely bi because if riverdale writers love something it is metatextuality and references to other media, and what is gina gershon (jugmom) known for? Bound (1996), where she plays a lesbian icon. By metatextuality rules Jugmom is, then, bisexual (also have you seen her? leather jacket and string choker? she is definitely fucking women).
The Andrews family: Mary is a bisexual icon that got straight and gay divorced, that makes Archie bisexual (+all the times he has kissed men??? and all that stuff that he has said that is straight out of the 2003 atlanta-based play archie's weird fantasy?? my boy is bisexual).
The Topaz-Fogarty family: now this confirmed the gay gene theory, since both Toni and Fangs are bisexuals who have a child, baby Anthony, who is confirmed queer (undisclosed whether he is gay or bisexual). And going back in time, Tony’s only on-screen relevant relative is Thomasina, who is also confirmed bisexual (or perhaps lesbian, it is never stated), creating a direct line of the gay gene inheritance from Thomasina to Baby Anthony.
The Blossom family: it’s not confirmed that queen of serving cunt and evil Penelope is queer, although it was implied, BUT it could also be Abigail, Cheryl’s most direct ancestor (aside from Nana Blossom), the one who gave her the witch gene and the lesbian gene.
The Keller family: is Tom bi? perhaps anything is possible in Riverdale, but most likely the evidence points to either his unnamed mom who never even lives with them (like Mary did with Archie’s dad, before she got a divorce to marry a woman). But it’s also possible that gay kevin is just spontaneously gay, which would explain the fact that his whole personality is being gay.
The Mason family: Marcus (Moose’s dad) is most likely gay, but got therapy conversion at the sister’s of quiet mercy, but he could be bisexual and only they only scared away the gay part, and passed on the gene to Moose, who is bisexual.
In conclusion, only in riverdale you get the serial killer gene and the gay gene.
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