#submitting this here to be peer reviewed by my fellow riverdale scholars

[mean-vampyre]

Riverdale’s gay gene

Okay so, the riverdale gay gene theory goes something like this: just like the serial killer gene, sexuality is inherited in the riverdale universe, mainly from parents to children, but in some cases (like cheryl and toni) from the most prominent ancestor featured in the show so far (season 6). How does it work? idk, it’s riverdale but my theory is that 1bi/gay parent = 1bi child, and 2bi parents = 1gay or 1bi children.

The Cooper-Smith family: in season 6 Betty is confirmed bisexual and that implies that one of her prominent ancestors is gay, which could point to Bitsy Smith from 06x05. HOWEVER the storyline of Abigail-Poppy-Cheryl being immortal is not within the continuity of season 6, and Bitsy and Betty are not related (also confirmed by Madelaine Petsch). Therefore Betty gets her bisexuality from either her father or her mother, but most likely her mother Alice since she is also the one who gave the serial killer gene to her and Charles, who has the gay gene too. 

The Smith-Jones family: Charles gets either his gay gene from Alice or FP, but (see above) most likely is from Alice or both of them if we go by the theory that 2bi parents are needed to produce 1gay child.

The Jones family: by the 2bi=1gay formula theory, FP is bi (unconfirmed), which makes Jughead bi. Nevertheless, he would remain bi even if we don’t go with the gay formula and FP is not bi, since Gladys aka jugmom is most likely bi because if riverdale writers love something it is metatextuality and references to other media, and what is gina gershon (jugmom) known for? Bound (1996), where she plays a lesbian icon. By metatextuality rules Jugmom is, then, bisexual (also have you seen her? leather jacket and string choker? she is definitely fucking women).

The Andrews family: Mary is a bisexual icon that got straight and gay divorced, that makes Archie bisexual (+all the times he has kissed men??? and all that stuff that he has said that is straight out of the 2003 atlanta-based play archie's weird fantasy?? my boy is bisexual).

The Topaz-Fogarty family: now this confirmed the gay gene theory, since both Toni and Fangs are bisexuals who have a child, baby Anthony, who is confirmed queer (undisclosed whether he is gay or bisexual). And going back in time, Tony’s only on-screen relevant relative is Thomasina, who is also confirmed bisexual (or perhaps lesbian, it is never stated), creating a direct line of the gay gene inheritance from Thomasina to Baby Anthony.

The Blossom family: it’s not confirmed that queen of serving cunt and evil Penelope is queer, although it was implied, BUT it could also be Abigail, Cheryl’s most direct ancestor (aside from Nana Blossom), the one who gave her the witch gene and the lesbian gene.

The Keller family: is Tom bi? perhaps anything is possible in Riverdale, but most likely the evidence points to either his unnamed mom who never even lives with them (like Mary did with Archie’s dad, before she got a divorce to marry a woman). But it’s also possible that gay kevin is just spontaneously gay, which would explain the fact that his whole personality is being gay.

The Mason family: Marcus (Moose’s dad) is most likely gay, but got therapy conversion at the sister’s of quiet mercy, but he could be bisexual and only they only scared away the gay part, and passed on the gene to Moose, who is bisexual.

In conclusion, only in riverdale you get the serial killer gene and the gay gene.

#riverdale #archie andrews #betty cooper #jughead jones #cheryl blossom #submitting this here to be peer reviewed by my fellow riverdale scholars #since most of the info is stuff that i remember and not really revised by rewatching #but anyway jarchie longcon lives #roberto you crazy genius hmu if you want to talk about this