A Tudors OT3 verse in universe tumblr post about The Tudors in that universe. Very much inspired by @nocompromise-noregrets to whom Ellie belongs.
I regret to inform the tumblr that I have sunk into depths of clownery previously thought of as impossible. I am the Mariana Trench of Fail. I am not serving cunt, I am serving nothing.
It starts with going to my girlfriends cousin regular pub quiz because they were out a person and I know Some Things and also hey, free snacks!
At the start of this I want to note this was pre Unmasked Part I airing and I had No Fucking Idea. I was just there, sexualising Rupert Graves and James Frain and thinking oh what a great enemies ship need to smush their faces together and also their dicks.
[insert that meme about being in hell looking for Fail King Hugh Norwich here in retrospect also thee iconic post by dansemacabrebutts, Ioan I am in your clown shoes]
So I was chatting to one of the quiz team and turns out she’s (a) watching the show and (b) definitely a Fandom Person and we get on to shipping at some point and so I open my mouth like “isn’t the sexual energy between Norwich and Cromwell off the charts charged? Can’t wait to write porn about them”
She looks at me with the kind of pained expression that I have only seen in parents of small children watching them spill paint on themselves for the fourth time - in the awareness that really, it’s their fault for trusting them with the paint. At first I thought oh maybe it’s an anti thing? (She’s not a restorationist which was my second notion because my girlfriends family would Kick The Fuck Off and listen, Restorationists do not carry Tolkien merch at all - especially not that gorgeous print of the wedding of Bard and Thranduil from the estate)
“I think that’s something you’ll have to wait and see about” she says and my cousin in law is looking at me like they want to disown my entire family line back fifteen generations.
I think oh that’s an odd answer and kind of shrug and change the subject awkwardly and we don’t really talk. And then like a week later I watch Unmasked Part I. And then they have the after show interviews and:
GUYS THAT WAS THE ELLIE WHO DISCOVERED NORWICHS PAPERS. YES THAT ELLIE. I WILL BE MORTIFIED ON MY DEATH BED. I WAS NORWICH GLORIFYING TO THE PERSON WHO WAS THE VERY FIRST PERSON WHO HAD TO READ HIS WORKS. MY COUSIN IN LAW IS RIGHT TO DISOWN ME DISHONOUR UPON MY NON EXISTENT COWS. I am putting on the clown makeup and the shoes as we speak.
truffleboyenjoyer
300,000 notes
Update. I am glad you all enjoyed my MORTIFICATION.
16 notes
·
View notes
re: my last post, just a reminder that the pub trio managed to get beard to ramble about simulated reality / whatever happens after death, etc . . . for over two hours.
4 notes
·
View notes
“Football stars, they’re just like us!” Paul is allergic to metal too, use that as we will
12 notes
·
View notes
i think a huge thing about beard is that......he is a combination of never talking about things, but also mentioning stuff and never being truly heard. yes, beard has a habit of not talking about his emotional or mental health, but also uh.
he’s openly talked about jane throwing his keys in a river. he’s mentioned how she has access to his icloud account so that if he were to download bantr, she’d destroy his phone. he’s mentioned how she’s kept drugs out that he accidentally consumed, leading to him being high at a match. all their breakups. talking to mae about how jane broke up with him because he was unsure of where he stood in their relationship. he’s talked about how jane is moving in with him, and no doubts mentions that she moved out. again.
he is talking a whole lot about jane, and nobody really listens. they hear him, but. only really higgins is the one to breach it with him. ted doesn’t want to get involved. even someone as opinionated as roy leaves it alone. rebecca glosses over it, and keeley talks about how jane stalked her like it was amusing to her. higgins talks to him. the pub trio points out that jane playing chess in front of beard with a new man was “fucking brutal.” but none of his genuinely close friends say anything.
5 notes
·
View notes
thinking abt how most people mark beard down as enigmatic & mysterious . . . without even talking to him. like they just assume because he doesn’t always offer information , that he won’t. like just talk to beard. he’s typically pretty open when people actually talk to him.
4 notes
·
View notes
"BEYOND THE THRESHHOLD OF PAIN -- ACHTÜNG: THIS BAND TAKES NO PRISONERS."
PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on a concert poster for the 1977 joint headlining "Beyond the Threshold of Pain" UK tour with the mighty MOTÖRHEAD and proto-punk/pub rock/maximum R&B band THE COUNT BISHOPS.
Also included are record adverts for both groups, with the Bishops and our beloved Motörmaniacs being label-mates under London's Chiswick Records.
Source: http://chiswickrecords.blogspot.com/2007/01/motorhead-1977-tour.html (3x).
0 notes