Eloise: Hey, can we talk? One Pen stan to another?
Colin: I'm her husband, but continue.
Insp
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*Eloise catches Penelope and Colin kissing*
Eloise: What the fuck is this?
Colin: Listen Eloise-
Eloise: This is incest!
Colin: No, it’s not, we are not related!
Eloise: Oh So it makes it okay???
Colin: Well, it makes it not incest!
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Eloise: since when do you care about Penelope Featherington? 🤨
literally Polin at every ball:
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Penelope: Do you want to explain the text you sent to me last night?
Colin: That was autocorrect.
Penelope: Autocorrect wrote “you’re so hot. Please step on me.”?
Colin: Yes.
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Colin: Wait, are you flirting with me?
Penelope: Have been for the past three years, but thanks for noticing.
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Colin: Penelope and I are going to be married!
Anthony: (eyes Colin's tousled hair, mussed clothes, and dust marks on the knees of his trousers)
Anthony: If you try and sell me that bullshit line about not compromising a lady because you are a gentleman, I swear--
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Benedict: Your new dresses look great, Penelope
Pen: Thanks, Ben
Benedict: they‘d look better on Colin‘s floor though
Pen: …
Colin: Are you hitting on Pen … for me, Benedict?
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Colin: Penelope and I are no longer friends.
Penelope: COLIN THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE COURTING!
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Colin: What are you in the mood for?
Penelope: World domination.
Colin: That's a bit ambitious.
Penelope: You are my world.
Colin: Aww...
Penelope:
Colin:
Penelope:
Colin: OH.
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Penelope: If I died how much would you miss me?
Colin: It's cute you think death could get you out of this relationship.
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colin: you don't trust bad boys, and yet you married one
penelope:
colin:
penelope:
colin: *blows on his tea*
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Colin: Penelope is annoying me.
Anthony: She isn't even looking at you.
Colin: That's what's annoying me.
Insp
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Anthony, Benedict, and Colin:
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Violet Bridgerton: Lady Danbury, there is something I must discuss with you... urgently
Lady Danbury: put the corpse on the ice, I'm on my way-
Violet Bridgerton: WHAT?!? THAT IS NOT WHAT I DID, I JUST THINK IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR BROTHER-
Lady Danbury: WhAt?!?!
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Colin: I like your pants!
Penelope: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Colin: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Penelope: The store can’t just give out stuff for free.
Colin: That’s not what I-
Penelope: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Colin.
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Colin: I’m not jealous. I just get a weird burning feeling in my chest when I think about Penelope being with someone else.
Benedict: Yes, that’s jealousy.
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