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solariaperegrine · 1 year

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Art by @celestialsmessy1

A party, there just had to be a party. Penelope always hated parties. They are too crowded and too loud and once in a while, a creep would hoot and holler at her, thinking she would take it as a compliment.

Penelope is not that desperate for a dick. She may be twenty and still a virgin but no, thank you very much, she is not that starved for male attention.

If anything she's had enough of it.

The creep this time around is some blonde affluenza kid.

She knew his name.

He wore a name tag.

Did she mention this is a fundraiser she was required by her publisher to attend? It was supposedly a professional event hence the need for nametags.

Hers read: Penelope Featherington/Novelist, Danbury House

Great! Now, the creep will have a way to find out her info.

Penelope shifted her weight on her feet in discomfort. Not only is the Creep asking her if she has a boyfriend, he's also asking if she's interested in shifting publishers

Full name: Richard Fawker, from Abbott Publishing. If his nickname was Dick, then she would tag him as a Dick Fucker. If it’s Rich, then he's a Rich Fucker. If it's Chard, then he would be a Charred Fucker.

She giggled to herself as she thought of the many ways he could save his phone number (which he handed to her in a business card BTW) then block him later. She was being careful not to offend the asshole. Abbott is a top competitor and they have been vying to acquire Danbury House for years.

Just last year, they attempted to outdo Danbury House sales by signing Cressida Cowper, a well known "radical" feminist (but in actuality just a misandric narcissist). Only for their sales to be stomped when Danbury House signed both Eloise Bridgerton (an actual, intellectual, no nonsense, next Simone de Beauvoir, actual feminist) and Lady Whistledown (the most popular romance novelist Europe has ever seen in the last 50 years) in one month.

Agatha told Penelope how butthurt Execs at Abbott would jump at any chance to diminish the Danbury brand, perhaps even using tactics as low as attacks on grounds of character.

Additionally, Agatha Danbury herself might pull out her hair if she discovered Penelope humiliated a competitor. It would relflect badly on the company image. Agatha always prefer for their sales and awards to be their weapon.

Penelope thinks otherwise. What use was her sharp wit if she can't use it to shatter overinflated egos?

"I've been told Lady Whistledown will attend. Do you know her?" Rich Fucker asked. Penelope bit the insides of her cheeek.

She internally scoffed upon realizing the man in front of her was showing his real intention.

"I wonder if she's a looker" he said. Penelope cringed.

Would the dickwad die in embarassment if Penelope was to suddenly tell him, she is in fact Lady Whistledown all along.

Tempting. Penelope thought. Tempting... but not worth it.

Not worth it. Her thoughts echoed inside her.

Not worth it. She repeated to herself. Besides, Agatha also wants me to scout new talent.

Penelope looked at the crowd for a sign of Eloise. She had excused herself to go to the loo. And in the five minutes El left her side, Penelope managed to attract trouble.

A sigh of relief escaped Penelope when she saw Eloise finally returning from the loo.

...only for her to do a 360 degree turn around upon spotting Penelope with a man.

Damn it!

Penelope's eyes widened in horror.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. No!

It was truth she wanted dick but not just any dick. And certainly not the horrid Gucci wearing man's dick.

He's both a cad and a chad.

The words died in Penelope's throat. Must have been the glass of Amarone she downed before the man with an assault of color for a wardrobe decided to sour her already unpleasant evening.

There was also the slight buzzing in her head. Damn Eloise and her alcoholic choices!

The Best Friend said it was liquid courage.

...liquid fire more like it.

Everyone knows Penelope and alcohol don't mesh well together. They seem to always find a way to end up on the floor.

"Can I get vodka for the lady" Dick Fucker said to the broad shouldered bartender whose back was to them as he was putting some bottles on the shelf.

The bartender turned around. "Afraid not Sir, the organizer said we can only serve wine" His voice, honey on her ears as it has always been.

It cannot be.

"Colin?" Penelope said in surprise. "Colin, you're home? El never said--"

"Surprise!?" He said, sheepishly.

Understatement of the entire fucking century. Not only was Penelope surprised, she was also scared, and horny and shocked and nervous because what the flying fuck is Colin Bridgerton doing in London when he should be in freaking Tuscany?

And damn it Colin Bridgerton is fit! Is that a tan? And a new tattoo on his forearm?

Colin peered over to Charred Fawker, then stared intently at Penelope. "This git bothering you Pen?"

She nodded softly, feeling a lump form on her throat.

Colin stared Fawker down. "The lady's clearly not interested, mate. Get a hint!"

Maybe it's the tattoos or the tan, or the black button down shirt, but somehow Colin looked quite scary when he had admonished the annoying man.

Penelope had never pegged Colin as someone intimidating. In her mind he has always been the charming, all smiles, lovable dork who sometimes make her panties wet when he rolls up his sleeves to reveal his inked and toned forearms.

To her distress, he did roll up his sleeves, then poured a glass of wine as they both watched Rich Fucker leave them be.

Colin and his forearms and his voice.

Yum...

"Drinks on me, Pen"

She did not say anything.

"Pen? You alright?" He asked in concern. She must have looked flustered.

"I-uh- the Tattoo. It's new!" She managed to say.

"They're my favorite flowers" He said with a smile. It is so like him to ease in a conversation with her as if they had not seen each other in six months.

"Roses?" Penelope asked.

"Not just any rose" He said with an affectionate expression overtaking his face.

Penelope knew Colin's tattoos always signify a person.

A girl perhaps

She did not dare ask who could be the person which inspired the tattoo. For all she knew it could be Marina, the influencer.

Eloise sent her a picture of Colin and Marina in France, laughing over Croissants.

What is even funny about Croissants? Other than it's the only instance where being flaky is the desirable outcome.

Ah. That had to be it. Colin probably came up with a ridiculous joke like that and Marina didn't know what hit her.

Gods, the man made Penelope fall in love with him because of a horse joke he made once upon a time, five years ago.

The tattoo IS probably because of a girl. Penelope resigned.

And I am not that girl

"Anyway, thanks for that. I owe you Col--catch you later. " She said, then turned her back to him, intending to leave.

Colin stopped her on her tracks, by reaching to grab her arm.

"Where do you think you're going Pen?"

Oh no. Not the voice and the vice-like grip.

"I need to go" she made an act of swiping through her phone as if checking something.

"You didn't even ask me what I'm doing here?" He asked, offended. He then looked from her arm to her face and finally let it go, reluctanctly.

She replied with a smirk. "Oh! I know--New Club? Charity event organized by Danbury House? You stacking shelves? This is one of your new establishments isn't it? Otherwise why would a BridgerBro bother with bartending?"

He laughed in response. "You know me too well, Penny but...No! This is actually Theo's"

Theo Sharpe, her and Eloise's Agent Theo Sharpe.

"I better go. I don't think I can get home if I drink more"

"Pen you cannot be thinking of driving--"

"I've had two glasses of wine Mr. Bridgerton" she said.

"You and alcohol are a match made in hell Penelope" he joked. "You are not leaving. I forbid it"

She scoffed at him. "Fine! FYI. I didn't drive here so I was thinking of getting a cab. But if you're so concerned about me, find your ghoster of a sister and tell her to drive me home."

"I don't think that's an option"

"Why?"

"Eloise kinda already left the bar --with some dude" Colin said uncomfortably.

"Why would she do that? That's dangerous"

"Um.. it was Theo--" Colin finally confessed.

"Oh!" Penelope said, realizing.

"Take a chill pill Penny. One can pick up a lover anywhere"

"Speaking from experience" she retorted.

"Guilty" he said with half smile, then bowed his head in embarassment.

"Then-- I have no choice but to get a cab"

Colin furrowed his brows. "You say that as if I am not an option-- Am I not an option, Pen?"

Was she imagining the strange lilt of disappointment in his voice.

You're the only option, actually. She thought.

But of course she did not dare say that out loud.

It would be friendship sabotage.

She shook her head.

"So I'm not-not an option, that's a double-negative. I take that as a yes"

"Colin..." she groaned in frustration. "Is this how you usually pick up women? By being insufferable?"

He chortled. "Yeah. That and my beautiful face" He bit back. Penelope laughed too.

Their eyes met then.

Colin stopped laughing, his face suddenly becoming quite grave.

"Penelope--I must insist. I will take you home. I need to tell you something anyway"

***

Soon Penelope found herself staring at a Ducati.

"That's a motorcycle"

"No--it's an Elephant" Colin said sarcastically, while handing her a helmet.

Penelope hit him on the shoulder.

"When you said you're going to drive me. I assumed there would be car"

" I told you I was going to take you home--not drive you home"

Penelope shuddered. "Fine"

She put on the sky blue helmet but struggled a bit with the buckle.

Colin watched her fumbling before deciding to help her. He grasped the buckles, his knuckles grazing Penelope's chin.

"Look up" he instructed at Penelope, who kept her eyes pinned to ground.

"Look up. You're too short if you don't look up I will need to bend a bit and my cute ass is gonna be on display for the whole world to see"

Penelope looked up but rolled her eyes at him.

"What's up with these buckles. Why are they so hard to fasten" she said, with some annoyance.

"It's lower tech, but safer for crashes" Colin explained.

"Wow. Thanks for reminding me we could crash anytime" She said in sarcasm.

Colin tapped her helmet. Penelope felt the vibration on her scalp.

"We will not. You're precious cargo. I'll be extra careful"

#polin au #colin x penelope #polinators #penelope featherington #polin fan art #polin fanfiction

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