#please don't hate me with my honest review..

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

Chaos Theory review (characters' oriented review)

Since everyone is doing this, I thought I'd share my thoughts too because, to some extent, I feel like I'm in a minority here. In this post I'm going to focus mostly on the characters because there's a lot to say about the show in general and I don't have patience to write everything in one post.

spoilers under the cut

I said it yesterday and I will say it again: I absolutely loved Chaos Theory. It was action-packed, well-paced, dramatic and funny. It was everything I loved in Camp Cretaceous.

I'm especially grateful that they gave us a whole variety of emotions coming from all of characters.

I loved yasammy's conflict because it felt real and natural. Yas' PTSD being openly addressed was everything I hoped for (all of them have PTSD in some capacity but when it comes to Yas the execution was on the next level). And Sammy being fiercely overprotective over her girlfriend to the point it became too much?? That made so much sense because she had always been always protective but after the experiences in camp cretaceous, it is no wonder that this trait started to get out of her control. I don't know, it just made sense. I hope that in season 2 they go in detail about Sammy's family situation, I want her to talk about it with Yas. I'm really curious how it will play out and I can't wait to see Yas being super awesome supportive girlfriend.

I also really liked Darius and Kenji's relationship - I know, I know but hear me out. I actually enjoyed how the conflict(s) in their case seemed to keep piling up; they were growing like a fungus. I adored that little bit when Kenji mentioned that he stayed in touch with Darius' mother, while Darius didn't call her. I think it was incredible; such a small detail but tells you a lot about the years in their life that we didn't get to see.

While we are at it, I have to address the whole Darius and Brooklyn thing which I actually... didn't mind. I really didn't? And I don't mind that it was one-sided either. Maybe because it is the first (*cough*) openly addressed one-sided love story between the campers. I've always loved Darius and Brooklyn friendship, I genuinely believe that it was one of the strongest relationships in CC. It would be cool if they stayed platonic but really, I truly don't mind that one-sided love plotline. I wouldn't even call it a love triangle because to me it seems that Darius, to some extent, always knew that it was an unrequited crush, and I don't feel a sense of a privatization (between Kenji and Darius) either. You know what I actually liked about this situation? The fact that Darius didn't go to meet with Brooklyn because he was basically ashamed, embarrassed, and a little scared of his own feelings, of getting hurt. I feel like, in the long run, this is going to be incredible for his character development. Darius trying to run away from his own feelings to the point where he abandoned someone, where he tried hiding something from others? I genuinely think it added to his character and gave him additional depth. That's just my opinion though. I also think that even without that romantic plotline he would still call Brooklin after her "death". So to me, this really didn't change much other than adding more awkwardness and I had no trouble handling that (I always really liked visually the scene where Kenji and Darius were sitting in the bathtub. There was something pleasing about this)

Moving on to Kenji... Killing Daniel Kon so fast was certainly... a choice but. Kenji's reaction to his death was so well-done. It really highlighted the complex relationship that Kenji had with his father - someone he hated but who he also considered kind of a indestructible. His reaction was so heartbreaking and I was there for it.

And then there's also Ben. I'm gonna be honest - I am biased. I loved him before, I love him still so it feels unfair to write about him from my very biased perspective. Still - they could never make me hate him. I like how his character changed in so many ways but also stayed true to his core – he is adventurous and a little reckless (like a Jungle Boy that he was), and he is also soft and sensitive (that scene when he was crying when he was hiding under the truck broke me). I'm extremely curious about his background story that we barely touched upon - it is obvious that he had been living in that van for a while, which is interesting considering how he used to live on the campus and (let me remind you that) he has a loving mother that would surely support him if he decided to take a break just because he needs a break. From the looks of it, Ben seemed to be living on his own for a while – was his obsession with "being hunted" the only reason? or was there more? many questions. I am also a bit... sceptial about his girlfriend. The first time he mentioned her was not convincing to say at least, not to mention that apparently he had been living without his phone for a while now - were they talking online all this time or what? Idk, if he really has a girlfriend then first of all - the screenwriters are cowards, second of all - the relationship doesn't seem super-convincing for now.

Bonus: Mateo is one of the best characters introduced in the show, for me, he beats even Mae. He was perfect, actually perfect, I loved him. I really hope we will see him again in season 2 (above taking care of Bumpy) because I really liked his agency and his character arc.

Overall: I feel like your final review of CT depends heavily on what you tend to focus on while watching the show, and what you like in shows in general. I don't mind drama as long as it doesn't interfere with characters' personality. And I feel like a lot of choices they made in CT actually makes sense for these characters. I think it is also important to remember that this was - from what I understand - planned as a two-seasons long shows from the beginning which means that a lot of loose ends and decisions may not make sense yet but they will eventually be developed in season 2 (which would be awesome, we love consistent writing)

anyway, I only watched CT once for now, so don't quote me. I'm sure that I will have more thoughts later

#camp cretaceous #jwcc #jurassic world camp cretaceous #jurassic world #jurassic world chaos theory #chaos theory #chaos theory spoilers #jurassic world chaos theory spoilers #jwct spoilers

[bloomingkyras]

Ratana Kowit Look Book [For Rent]

Trait: Clumsy, Outgoing, Child of the Village

Aspirations: Discerning Dweller

Nadech Prachaya Look Book [For Rent]

Trait: Cringe,Bro,Geek

Aspirations:Fount of Tomarani Knowledge

Honest review for cas outift from For Rent Pack.

I'm a bit disappointed with this cas outfit for male expecially bottom part and hair. There's actually a glitch with this hair on Nadech but I just had to accept cause this hair is not that bad and my go to hair if i'm not using cc. but i don't want to complain too much just accept it although its make me not happy playing with him with that glitch. I already tried take out every cc he had but there's still a glitch or white dot on his face with this hair. and for the male bottom can't we just get a normal slack or short without pattern. this whole outfit will looks good without too much pattern. but yeah..this is not hate review cause I'm still amazed with the female outfit that they give. I will wear that Cheongsam but in longer version. So..so far only female has no bad review from me. for gameplay and build and buy item i will review it in other post cause i have not play tested it yet.

#for rent ts4 #The sims 4 #the sims 4 cas #the sims 4 look book #Ratana Kowit #Nadech Prachaya #show us your sims #accessories are from cc #Tomarang townie by bloomingkyras #not for download #the dar legacy will up a bit late cause i have irl to do ❤ #please don't hate me with my honest review..

[hotvintagepoll]

all the round one polls are over!!! huzzah!!🥳🎉🎈🎂🍾

Hooray! Round 2 will be up on Monday.

Also, before anyone wonders. I've decided to take Gish and Cooper out of the bracket, because Birth of a Nation is an explicit hate film and Gish and Cooper's careers feel inseparable from it. I'll be replacing them with Fay Wray and Jennifer Jones as the women with the closest ties. For everything else, I'm sticking to the same rules I always stick to: it's up to you to research + decide if morality matters to your vote. I cannot adequately research every single candidate and every single issue, so removing these two is a rare move for me, and I hope this is the last time in this tournament I have to.

However, since this is an international bracket and I'm not aware of every woman's filmography, there may be other contestants here who took part in explicitly hateful propaganda films + showed no second thoughts about it (the second thoughts part is important). If you are aware of someone who took place in a film during our era that was made for the sole purpose of inciting violence and was as clearly and explicitly hateful in its intentions as Birth of a Nation, please send me a link to the film (if possible) and some backup material so I can review for myself and decide on a contestant's inclusion. If you can't provide the problematic film for me to see for myself or any conclusive evidence of the harm it directly caused, I will not remove a contestant; I don't operate on hearsay and I don't have time to do your research for you if you can't provide proof. If I see trolling about this, instead of honest discussion, I will block.

I spent a lot of time reading up on BoaN to make sure I made a decision I feel solid with, and my sources are under the cut.

Sources:

The Birth of a Nation: Media and Racial Hate by Desmond Ang

How a racist film helped the Ku Klux Klan grow for generations from the Economist

The Birth of a Nation: the most racist movie ever made from the Washington Post

The Legacies of Lillian Gish from Inside Higher Ed

Where to Begin with Lillian Gish from the BFI

Lillian Gish: should a great actor be judged by a racist film? from the Guardian

A Public Menace: how the fight to ban The Birth of a Nation shaped the nascent civil rights movement from Slate (this was my favorite of the articles and I think gives the best historical context for where BoaN came from, how it was made, and what its consequences were)

The movie itself, which I'm not linking. I watched enough of it to make up my mind, and it is its own best argument for being a film too intolerant to support in any measure. Hope everyone understands.

#asks #housekeeping #lillian gish #miriam cooper

[neoarchipelago]

And they were Roommates (part 15)

A/N: I feel like i keep saying this but, all my chapters are long... SOO anyway. I don't know how i feel about this chapter, i'm torn between hating it and hating myself. Reviews are greatly appreciated and please be honest, don't try to make me happy, i truly want constructive critisim, so go on my babies, break my heart.

Also all lot of you seem to want to be my good girls or good boys. So yeah, sure, i'll be ya'lls mommy.

Yes. Hate me.

Warnings: Mentions of death, injury, 18+ content etc, just minors don't. F-Reader.

You sighed. Turning around in the black sheets. You could still smell his cologne in them. It's been two weeks. And you missed him like hell. You missed his voice, his touch, his eyes. You touched your neck. He had taken his dog tags with him. It felt like you lacked something now.

You groaned, throwing one of the pillows over your head. A knock rang in the room. 

"Sparrow. Come on. Get up." Bishop called through the door. 

You groaned again as a response. 

"Come on!" 

"Fine!" 

You decided to get up. You'd spend the day in bed otherwise and you had to go to base. The squad had joined Los Vaqueros to hunt down the two cartel's bosses. You had stayed behind with bishop and Coyote to remotely track any Intel on the dark web. Aquila, Carkeys and Grim went on site to collect Intel and use drones and other equipment to help the squad. 

You spent time in between the base and your house where Melissa and the team joined you as often as they could. 

It took an hour at best to get to base with everyone. You had walked into the IT quarters with a coffee in hand. 

"Rough morning?" Laswell asked. 

"Where are they?" You asked. 

She shook her head with a smile on her lips. 

"They got into the city last night. They managed to get a few high ups of the cartel." Coyote explained. 

"We managed to capture some conversations on a blank website. Two of their hackers were trying to throw false Intel to throw us off. But we managed to find their ID's which was much more interesting." Bishop added. 

You nodded sitting down at your computer. 

"Grim and Carkeys are following closely the squad with the drones and satellite images. We have made sure to protect those and are gate keeping them so they can't use those to track our soldiers." 

You sighed of relief.

"I wouldn't have made it without you guys… thank you…" you said. 

Bishop winked at you while coyote smiled. 

"Aquila is making sure they're safe, keeping track of their equipments." 

You took a deep breath. 

"Alright back to work." 

You got back to work, trying to focus as best as you could on it. The day passed by in a flash again. You felt like the anxiety would kill you at every new piece of information coming your way. At the end of the day you looked around the room full of screens. 

"Hey sparrow, come here" Bishop called with a smile. 

You walked up to her, blinking as you looked down at her screen. 

"HEY THERE!" Soap's voice rang. 

You felt a rush of adrenaline. 

"We managed to create a remote link so we could video call with their base." Coyote explained, the freckled on her nose dancing as she smiled. 

"Thank you… hey soap. How are you guys?" You asked. 

"We are good here, we are getting closer to the target." Gaz answered. 

You smiled at them. Price and Alejandro now appeared behind them. You noticed the blush on Coyote's face. 

"Oh, look, it's our ladies!" Price called. 

You chuckled as the girls giggled. 

"Princesa!" Alejandro called. 

As by magic, it immediately summoned him. HIM. Your breath caught in your front. Simon.

"My princess." 

His voice was rough. Ghost was on edge. Alejandro raised his hands up, showing there was no sign of threat from him. 

"Hey…" you greeted with a smile. 

He nodded. 

The conversation kept going, now Carkeys, Aquila and Grim showing up as well. It felt nice to be able to talk with everyone, but all you wanted was to tell him you missed him. You needed him. You wanted two minutes alone with him just to tell him you loved him again. It must have shown. Because the team did exactly that. 

You were now sitting in front of the screen with only him. Only him. 

"Hey…" you said again. 

"Say it bunny." 

You smirked. 

"I miss you… want my Simon back." 

He chuckled. 

"Miss you too bunny." He said. 

"Is everything ok on your side? You aren't hurt?" You worried. 

"I'm fine. Don't worry darling. I'll be home soon. Alright?" 

You nodded. You heard Price calling in the back, marking the end of the call. He got closer to the screen, you did too. 

"Simon… I love you…" 

You saw through the pixels how his pupils dilated at the sound of the words. 

"Don't do this to me bunny… I'm too far away to fuck you into my mattress…" 

You smiled, biting your lip. He wouldn't say it. Not yet. But you'd be patient. 

"Guess you're going to have to come back for that." You teased. 

He chuckled. You bid your goodbyes, heart heavy. 

You stared at the now black screen. You were doomed. Completely doomed. He was king of your thoughts at all times. He had managed to capture the little sparrow and make it his. You closed your eyes, biting your lip. 

"You alright?" 

You opened your eyes looking at the girls next to you. You smiled faintly nodding at them. 

"They'll be fine. They've had to fight worse." Bishop started. 

"And they have us. We'll keep them safe." Coyote added. 

You sighed. You nodded faintly. 

"Come on. Let's go home." 

You turned around to notice Laswell standing not too far as well. You stood up, the girls heading to the door. You took a last glance at the black screen before following them. 

The next few days, things started to get complicated. Tension kept rising for everyone. You'd spend more time at base. Sometimes staying there overnight. Laswell was keeping an eye on you like a hawk. But you couldn't get yourself to go home. You had ended up bringing Reaper with you everywhere. No one had commented on it. 

You were looking at the fluffy plush on your big desk. The sound of panic made your blood run cold. You stood immediately, watching everyone's voice rise and run. 

"What's going on?!" You asked. 

Bishop froze looking up at you. 

"An attack. We've lost communication." 

You cursed, sitting back down and getting to work on your computer. 

You were focused on trying to find a link, a connection, anything to create a form of communication. Every ticking second felt heavier on you. You felt trapped in an hourglass, sand filling up and pouring around you. Suffocating. 

Soon the seconds turned to minutes. Minutes to hours. You were on the verge of a breakdown. 

"We got them!" 

You ran to the screens. 

"Bravo six ?" Laswell called. 

You held your breath. 

"Bravo six do you copy?!" She called again. 

Silence. Heavy silence. 

"Bravo six copy." The rough voice rang. 

You closed your eyes, releasing the air in your lungs. Price's voice filled you with relief. 

"What's your status bravo six?" 

"Took a hit, lost a few guys, but squad 141 is operational."

Laswell turned to you. You wanted to cry. You wouldn't. Not in front of everyone. They're fine. Fuck… he's ok. 

You sat in a nearby chair. You let them talk over the radio as your mind tried to grasp what happened. You had almost lost him. It hit you how fragile this was. You could lose him at any second. You felt dizzy for a second. You looked up to see Bishop and Coyote with worried looks on their faces. 

"Bishop. Coyote." You called. 

They turned to you. You called them to you. 

"Let's not pretend I don't see your worried looks. I can see you guys have got a little something for a certain captain and a sergeant." You smiled. 

Coyote blushed and Bishop smirked. You grabbed their hands.

"We're ok. We're gonna make it. We're together." You tried to comfort. 

"Of course we are. That mohawk cutie better come back. Got to take him out." Bishop teased. 

You smiled. 

"Well… i…i don't know if the captain would be interested…" Coyote said with a little frown. 

"Ah don't worry. We'll help you with that." Bishop teased again. 

You nodded, winking at her. 

"Come on, let's get back to work." You concluded. 

You stayed all night. You had used the locker rooms to shower and change. Laswell kept nagging you to go home but you refused. Melissa had passed by with Amy, bringing some food and snacks. You had enjoyed the time with them. But it got late and they had to leave. The room was awfully quiet at night. Bishop and Coyote had gone back home as well, they needed rest. 

You needed it too. But your mind was a mess.

You couldn't get it out of your head that you had lost contact with the team and almost lost them. It felt sour. You held Reaper in your arms. Your eyes burnt a bit. You were tired. Laswell was still here. She kept throwing glances at you. 

"Hey… you should sleep." She repeated again. 

You looked at the bottom of the screen. 4 am. 

"I know… but I can't…" you whispered. 

She walked off with a sigh. 

You refused. You refused to leave. You needed to stay here. This was the closest to him you could be. And for the moment, this is what you needed.  

The next morning the team had walked in. You had nodded off around 5am but woken up an hour after. Bishop had brought coffees and snacks. You were grateful for it. 

You felt heavy worried stares. You ignored them, drowning yourself back into work. 

"Sparrow." Bishop called softly. 

You blinked. Standing up. You felt dizzy again for a second but brushed it off. You walked to her. You closed your eyes for a second when you saw it. The screen showed an empty website. Pictures of bloodied dog tags lined up. 

"Tell me It's not what I think it is…" you said. 

"I'm afraid… it's exactly what it is…" coyote explained in a sad voice. 

"They're keeping them as trophies. For each soldier they've killed." Bishop added with a hint of disgust in her voice. 

You looked at the names on the little metal collars. 

"I'll go report to Laswell… keep an eye on these…" you said. 

You felt a knot in your throat as you walked out of the room.

 

Having that kind of talk was rough. And it had been, for you and for Laswell. Families had to know the truth, and condolences had to be sent with proper decoration for lost soldiers. You knew it would never heal the emptiness the news will leave in these people's hearts. You had walked back to the IT's wing. Bishop had dragged you to a screen immediately. 

You felt your heart drop at first, your mind instantly thinking about the worst things. 

"Oh look at our little mama bird…" 

Your eyes filled with tears. The image was blurry. The sound wasn't top quality, but the faces on screen made you want to cry. 

"Johnny…" you tried with a little smile. 

Bishop hugged you as soon as she saw your glossy eyes. Coyote held your hand in here. 

"Come on, we're all ok! Gonna need more than that!" Alejandro joked. 

"We were worried about you guys!" Bishop scolded. 

"Yes… please be careful…" coyote added. 

"Look at that, our ladies got all worried about us…" Price said, winking at the screen. 

You felt Coyote tense. You smiled to yourself squeezing her hand softly. 

"I haven't seen Konig in a while, how's he?" You asked. 

"Well he's been spending a lot of time with Grim. They keep talking in German so… we have no idea what they're saying." Gaz explained. 

"They get along very well though!" Soap said with a wink. 

"Where's..?" You asked. 

"Hum… not too far. He's a bit…" gaz started. 

"Pissed. He's pissed." Soap finished. 

You sighed. 

"I'll go get him." Alejandro said. 

You nodded. The rest of the team talked a bit. 

"It's getting complicated. They're feeling surrounded. Becoming more aggressive.." coyote warned. 

"Yeah… we're going to change tactics here." Price added. 

The call suddenly fell silent. The boys rose, nodding as they walked away. Bishop and Coyote dropped a kiss on each side of your face before stepping away.  

"Simon…" 

The word fell from your lips. It was like a call to an unknown god. 

"Y/N." You heard. "You haven't been sleeping well." His voice was stern. 

Your face dropped. 

"You almost died." You countered. 

"Bunny." He warned..

"Simon." You said in the same tone. 

He sighed. 

"I'm ok. I'm worried about you right now" 

Somehow it did not comfort you. You were worried about him!

"You have to sleep. You hear me?" He scolded. 

You sighed too. You nodded slowly. 

"Good girl." He praised. 

It made you smile. 

"Have you been sleeping in my bed?" He asked. 

You bit your lip. 

"Maybe…" 

He leaned closer to the camera. 

"Good. I love it when my pillow smells like you." 

You smiled. 

"You'll have me next to you. You won't need that." You teased. 

"Hmm. Careful bunny. I'm not going to forget those words." 

"You better not. I hope it motivates you to come back." 

He chuckled. The sound of his laugh warmed you. 

"On my way baby…" 

A month. A full month and half. You were going insane. People probably thought you were insane, walking around base with Reaper hanging out of your bag. You had been forced by Laswell and Simon, over a video call, to go out with Melissa for a few hours after work. You had finally given in. There you were, in front of a restaurant on base. 

Melissa welcomed you with a hug as you walked to your table in the restaurant. 

"How are you feeling?" She asked. 

You shrugged. 

"Could be much better… could be much worse." 

She smiled at you. 

"How about you? Any news on Eric?" You asked with a worried voice. 

"No, not any. Since you talked to Hopkins I feel babysitted at all times." She said, rolling her eyes. 

"Good. Very good." You answered with a smile. 

She laughed, making you relax. The dinner spent with her lifted some stress and pressure off your shoulders. You had to be honest, it helped you feel better. You had insisted to pay for dinner, it had helped you so much. As you walked out of the restaurant, the cold air made you shiver. You were talking to Melissa when she happily waved at someone. 

You turned to watch the K.9 team discussing, not too far. You walked to them. 

"Sergeant Gallegos !" A woman greeted. 

"Hey Jenny." She greeted back. 

The woman turned to you, palling a bit. The German shepherd next to her sitting calmly, its pink tongue out, did not let her master leave its sight. 

"Sparrow.." she tried with a bit less friendlyness. 

You smiled, trying to relax her. 

"Don't worry, I'm out here completely harmless." You assured. 

Her shoulders seemed to relax a bit as she smiled. 

"What are you guys doing tonight?" Melissa asked. 

"Oh hum… we're out to throw a goodbye party…." She answered with a little sadness in her voice.

"Oh… someone leaving?" You asked. 

She nodded turning her body so you could look behind her. The team was talking, their k9s on leash next to them. You frowned, confused. Jenny walked over to them, making Melissa and you follow her. 

"Guys, Sergeant Gallegos and … Sparrow came to say hi." 

You waved with a warm smile. You were glad they didn't seem too nervous around you. 

"So, who's leaving?" Melissa asked. 

"Oh… it's um… it's him." A man said. 

You followed his gaze. A black shepherd laid on the ground. His beautiful brown eyes shining under the restaurants lights. 

"Oh he's retiring?" You asked. 

"Hum not really…" another said. 

"Can… I?" You asked. 

Jenny nodded. 

You stepped towards the dog kneeling next to it slowly. You let him sniff your hand as his head rose. He let you pet him, making you smile. 

"His soldier was KIA. He hasn't been eating since." The soldier holding the leash explained. 

"KIA?" You asked. 

"Killed in action." Melissa explained. 

"Oh…" you frowned. 

"Sometimes it happens. The dogs see their soldiers die and refuse to eat for a little while. With time and lots of patience and love it usually gets better. But… he just seems to have given up." Jenny explained. 

"He's been through foster homes and vets but… he just gave up." Another soldier explained. 

You felt your heart shatter as you looked into it's eyes. 

"What's going to happen to him.." Melissa asked. 

"Well… I'm afraid he'll have to be… you know…" he explained. 

You bit your lip. You felt the colar underneath your fingers, through the semi long furr of his neck. You grabbed the little tag on it reading the name. 

"Riley …" you let out. 

"Oh… Sparrow…" Melissa tried. 

You felt something like a flash coursing through your blood. Something that urged you to do something. 

"Is there no other way?" You asked, turning to Jenny. 

"Well… we've tried everything… we can't chose for him… and in the end it's the commander's choice… even if it breaks the team's hearts" she said. 

You bit your lip. Looking back at the big pup, you felt yourself melt and at the same time cry inside. He looked down… like he had truly given up. He missed his soldier. His family. Just like you. 

"Sparrow… i don't think that's a good idea." You heard Melissa, as she seemed to read your mind. 

But it was too late, you had already made your decision.

"I'll take him." You said in a decisive tone.

The team looked at each other, taken a back. 

"Ma'am… I don't think you can…" a woman said. 

"The commander's orders…" Jenny tried too. 

"Get your commander on call. Tell him Sparrow wants to keep K9 Riley." You said with a smile. 

She hesitated. Melissa had given up on trying to tell you no. She was just smiling, her arms crossed. Jenny turned to Melissa who simply nodded. As Jenny took out her cellphone, the team seemed to perk up. 

"Ma'am… are you really going to keep him?" The soldier holding the leash asked. 

You nodded with a big smile. 

"It'll take time… but I have patience. And all the time in the world." You said. 

Jenny started speaking on the phone. The team fell silent. 

"Hum… the commander would like to speak to you…" she said. 

"Sure! Put him on speaker." You agreed. 

She did. She walked up to you and put the phone on speaker. The team surrounded you.  You almost wanted to laugh at the team around you. How silent they were. 

"Hello?" The phone rang. 

"Hello commander." You greeted. 

Silence. Melissa held herself from laughing out loud. 

"Sparrow?" 

"Yes, commander?" 

"Hum… are you really asking to take one of the K9's?" 

"Absolutely. Is there a problem with my request…?" 

"Well… more than one but… I'm not sure I'm allowed to refuse either." 

You laughed a bit. 

"You can. But I usually get what I want." 

"What should I even say to General Hopkins?" 

"The exact truth. I met Riley. I decided to keep it. I told you. You couldn't refuse. That's all." 

You leaned down again, petting the black dog. 

"Hum.." he hesitated.

"If he has something to say. Please tell him to directly come to me." You warned. 

The team looked shocked. Melissa rolled her eyes. 

"Well… alright, I'll take care of the paperwork and have it delivered to you to sign by the sergeant." 

The soldiers around jumped happily, silently though. You smiled to yourself. Was this a very thoughtful decision? No. It definitely wasn't responsible but you'd make sure to own up to your brand new responsibilities. 

"Thank you commander, have a good night." 

Jenny took back her phone, ending the call after a few last words with her commander. The team cheered. Melissa smiled at you. 

"We have to celebrate!" One said. 

"I can't believe this just turned into a celebration" Jenny cheered. 

"Yeah… Sparrow has a thing for Riley's." Melissa teased. 

The team awkwardly looked at each other. 

"So… it's true? For… you and Lieutenant…" jenny asked. 

You nodded trying to not make a fuss out of it. 

"He said he wanted a dog. I think he'll be thrilled… or probably scold me but he'll get around eventually." You joked. 

The team laughed a bit. 

"Let's grab a drink!" A man said. 

"Oh… well… just one. We got lots of work tomorrow…" Melissa said. 

"Yeah. And I got to find lots of stuff for my new furr baby." You said. 

"We'll help you with that! We can give you a few stuff for the night." Jenny assured. 

You smiled. 

"Alright. One drink." 

You walked to the car with your new friend. You were surprised how Riley followed you without a problem. You opened the passenger door of the black jeep. Simon had left his car obviously, and insisted that you'd use it. You looked down at the dog, sitting, looking up at you. 

"Come on Riley. Let's go home." 

He seemed to understand as he jumped into front seat. You closed the door, dropping all the things the team had given you in the backseat. Walking around the car you got into the driver's seat. The black dog was sitting next to you, looking at you. 

"It's ok. We'll be ok." You assured. 

You turned the key, heading home. 

You walked into the doorway. The house was quiet..empty. You turned on the lights as you closed the door behind you. You bent down to take off the leash. Riley didn't move. You started walking to the kitchen, watching him follow you slowly. He really looked sad. You dropped the things on the counter. You looked down at the dog who looked at you. 

You grabbed the bag of dog food, walking to get a bowl. You filled it with food and grabbed another bowl to fill it with water. Walking back to the dog and softly putting down the bowls in front of him. He looked at them. He went for the water, lapping a bit. He smelled the food but refused to eat. You sighed. Of course it wouldn't be that easy. You sat down on the floor next to him. He laid down next to you, looking at you. 

You grabbed his collar softly, petting the sides of his head. 

"I know… I know… you miss your soldier." 

He whined. 

"I miss mine too…" 

The next day you had warned Laswell you'd be a bit late. She didn't mind. You had drove with Riley to the base's Vet. 

You walked in with him heading for the receptionist.

"Hi, good morning, I'd like to buy some dog food and vitamins." You asked the man. 

"Oh… hum.. Sparrow…i mean… ma'am…" he stuttered. 

"It's alright. Breath." You smiled. 

He did so. He looked relieved. 

"Hum… so you have a dog?" He asked. 

"It's very recent but yes." You said looking to your side. 

The big black dog was sitting next to you, looking up at you. The man rose above the counter to look down. 

"Oh.. that's…that's Riley…" he said. 

"You know him?" You frowned. 

"Hum… yeah. We took care of him when he came back from the field… and when he refused to eat. I thought he was going to be put down." He said with a frown. 

"I decided to take him in." You said. 

The man smiled. 

"I'll be right back gonna see for the vitamins, I'll help you choose some food for him." He said. 

You nodded with a smile. Other soldiers stood with their dogs in the waiting room. They looked at you, recognizing you and the black dog. They seemed anxious. Suddenly you heard the voices from behind the counter, in the back of the clinic. 

"Tell this woman she's waisting her time. The dog was scheduled to be put down this afternoon and I can still do it. But she's waisting money and time." 

You frowned, feeling the anger rise. 

"Hum… ma'am… I think we shouldn't…" the receptionist tried. 

"Fine I'll tell her myself. It's stupid to waist vitamins and food on a hopeless dog." 

Now you were furious. You felt a nudge in your palm. You looked next to you at the dog looking at you intensely. You bent down to pet him and drop a kiss on top of his head. You heard the voice get closer to the front desk. You were hidden behind it as you were cuddling Riley. 

"Where is she?! Ma'am I suggest you hand the dog over, he should be put-" 

You rose to your feet, eyeing the angry woman. She had frozen in spot. You glanced down looking at her badge, taking in her name. The room had fallen silent. 

"I didn't come to ask for your opinion. Did I?" You spat. 

Her gaze faltered. 

"You'd be kind enough to give me what I asked please." 

The woman cleared her throat. 

"I have to remind you-" she tried, in a softer tone. 

"Again. Didn't ask." You answered angrily. 

She swallowed. 

"You're not gonna give it to me?" You asked, raising a brow. "Very well. Hum… dr… Jenkins." You squinted your eyes exaggeratedly. 

"Come on Riley, let's go somewhere else." You turned around before stopping. 

"Wait! Hum.. we'll give you the vitamins and food. But you're waisting your time." She said. 

"You're the one waisting my time. And I'm getting pissed." You warned, looking back at her. 

Riley whined. You looked down at him, petting his head. 

"Hum… how about we look into the different foods?" The receptionist asked, trying to ease the situation.. 

You nodded, throwing a dark glance at the vet. You'd be sure to have a talk with Laswell and Hopkins later. 

An hour later your arrived at the IT's IQ. Riley followed you inside, you had a bag with dog food, a water bottle and a cappuccino in hand. The room fell quiet when they saw you walk in with the black shepherd.

"Hum… Sparrow." Laswell called confused. "What's that?" 

"A cappuccino." You answered. 

She rolled her eyes. 

"Sparrow. Why do you have a dog?" She asked. 

"Oh. That's Riley. He's my dog now." You said matter of factly. 

Bishop laughed while coyote looked confused, gasping. Laswell looked just as confused. You decided to go to your desk to sit at your chair. Riley had followed you, laying down at your feet. 

"No. No. Sparrow. We're not going to ignore this." 

You put Reaper down. It seemed to get Riley's attention. He stood, siting now. You looked at the dog, then at the plush. 

"We can share. But you need to be gentle with it. Ok?" You said. 

The dog tilted his head to the side, curious. You picked up the plush, slightly worried of your next action. You gave it to him. He very gently grabbed it with his mouth, falling back down to the floor. He put it down in between his paws, sniffing and pushing his nose into it. He was gentle with it, and did not sink his teeth. You smiled, turning back to your computer. 

"No! Sparrow! We're going to talk about this!" Laswell warned.

You did not, in fact, talk about it.

The day turned out to be much more important than you thought. It turns out the day prior the boys were very close to tracking down the brothers. And they had finally reached their targets. You had been feeling an absolute mess. You had noticed it seemed to affect Riley. He stood closer to you. Nudged your hand or leg, grasping your attention. 

You'd always pet him or cuddle him. When the news had finally fallen that they had gotten their hands on the target, the room filled with joy. It was over. The mission was a success. But not to you. Not until you had him next to you. Bishop and Coyote were stoked. Laswell was smiling at you. Yes. It relaxed you. But you only had him in mind. Only his arms around you. 

"Hey. It's over. They're coming back." Coyote said. 

You took a deep breath. Yes. They were coming back. 

You remained in the room for hours. Even after. You remained until you knew they were back on their base. Bishop and Coyote we're much more relaxed. Laswell kept in touch with the general once in a while and the authorities there. You just wanted to talk to him. You were glad they had finally caught the cartel brothers. But your mind kept running to him. He was finally coming home. 

You smiled at the pup next to you. He seemed to be curious and to watch you very often. Through the day you tried to feed him little pieces of treats or food. He had first fully refused, then slowly bitten a treat. You had been delighted, causing him to perk his ears up at your reaction. You showered him with 'good boy' and pets. Laswell kept trying to question you about your new companion and you ignored it. 

He had attracted all the attention from the women in the room and some men too. 

When the sun had started to set outside, you were called to video chat with the team. 

"Hey!!" Bishop called to the screen. 

"Well hello there, pretty eyes." Soap flirted. 

"Get out, you'll flirt later!" Gaz groaned. 

You smiled. 

Price and Simon weren't present. You chatted with the group, Konig, grim, Carkeys, Áquila… it felt great to know they were ok. 

"We're getting an extraction in a few hours! We'll be home soon!" Car-Keys said, relief in his voice. 

You had rolled your eyes, the girl nagging him about when he had lost his Car Keys on a field mission.

When Simon finally showed up, he greeted the girls before the rest of the team gave you a little privacy. 

"I got a surprise for you!" You smiled at the screen. 

"Hmm a surprise?" He looked curious. 

You picked up the big dog into your arms, Riley licking your face. 

"His name is Riley !" You happily announced. 

You heard him chuckle. 

"Where did you get a dog?" He asked, a hint of a smile in his voice. 

"He was being taken to be put down… his soldier was KIA. He wasn't eating, he let himself die. We're slowly getting used to each other, he eats very tiny pieces…I'm trying to get him to feel safe." You explained. 

There was a little silence before he spoke again. 

"Here you go again… saving a Riley." 

You blushed, looking at the screen. The pixels weren't enough. Not anymore. You wanted your soldier back. 

"Come back to me…" you said. 

"I'm coming home, baby. We have plans."

You bit your lip through a smile. Yes. He was coming home.

 

Night had settled in. You had driven home right after ending the call. For the past 2 hours you had been happily roaming around the house. Riley was curious watching you pace around. For dinner, you sat down on the floor next to him, trying to motivate him to eat. He had not eaten his food. He had accepted two little bites of the steak you were eating. It was enough to cause a happy squeal from you each time. 

It was almost midnight when the girls showed up. Melissa included. Amy was with a babysitter for the occasion. Bishop had brought a bottle of  vodka to celebrate the end of the mission. 

Riley always remained close to you. The girls loved to pet him. A conversation had settled in, time passing by without any of you noticing. Eventually, it was 2 am, and you were giggling together. You had decided to only drink a shot or two, not really wanting to get drunk. 

Riley was laying on the couch with you, bishop and Coyote we're cuddling on another couch with Melissa at the other end.  

"God! You need to be more confident darling! We see how he looks at you. He's curious" Bishop teased. 

"He's… I don't know…" Coyote blushed. 

"I say. Go for it." Melissa added. 

You giggled again.

A knock interrupted your conversation. You heard the door unlock. You frowned before hearing Laswell's voice. 

"We're here Kate!" You chuckled. 

The girls laughed too, a new friend entering the circle promised more jokes and gossip.

When Kate stepped into the room, the air shifted. Hopkins walked behind her. The air had grown suffocating. You had lost your smile. The girls had gone silent. They were dressed officially. 

"Kate?" You questioned.

She seemed to swallow hard, eyes not leaving yours. You stood up, the girls doing the same. You walked over to them, the tiny footsteps of Riley on the floor following you. You crossed your arms in a comforting movement. 

"Squad 141 initiated extraction 45 minutes ago." Hopkins started.

You frowned. 

"During extraction, they were confronted with an ambush." He continued. 

You felt your heart drop. Was he injured? What happened?

"Can you skip to the news please?" Bishop interrupted. 

He looked at her, thinking. 

"Listen… Y/N…" Kate stepped forwards to you. 

You felt the walls closing in. Something terrible hovering over your head. 

You felt a nudge on your arm. Riley tried to keep you grounded to reality. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was just… something else. You were overreacting. 

Kate looked torn. She wanted to talk, obviously. But something seemed to hold her back. 

Hopkins sighed, clearing his throat. 

"We are sad and sorry to inform you that Lieutenant Simon Riley and Captain John Price were KIA." 

What.. what was that? That sound… your ears were buzzing. You felt nauseous. You felt like your whole body had gotten heavier. Like it no longer belonged to you.

"No." You let out. 

"Y/N. Listen to me, please.." Kate tried. 

She reached for your hand but you took a step back. 

"No. That's… no." You looked at her. "Kate…" you begged. 

Her eyes were filled with tears. She didn't speak. She looked away. It was true. It was… 

Hopkins took a step forward. Riley suddenly growled, inching closer to your leg. 

"Sparrow, I would advise you to-" 

"Get out." 

Silence fell. 

"What..?" Kate questioned. 

"Get out. All of you." You said again. 

You felt surrounded. Your brain felt on fire yet you felt like you were drowning. 

We have plans.

"Y/N…" bishop tried. 

"Please. Get. Out." You warned. 

Melissa grabbed Coyote by the shoulders, hugging her. They walked towards the door, Bishop and Kate following, dragging Hopkins with them. You heard the front door close. 

Silence. Deafening silence. 

You let yourself kneel to the floor, Riley alert next to you. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be true. No. 

You felt something fall on your hand. You looked down, the little droplets shining under the light. You were crying. You felt like someone was ripping your heart out. 

Your mind had decided to torture you, reenacting every kiss, every hug every promise in a tangling loop. It felt like you could hear his voice. Him. Calling for you. But it wasn't true. It wasn't real. Never again…

For the second time in your life, you screamed. You screamed until something deep in your throat broke. And just like last time. Under attack in the training grounds. You screamed for him. You poured your mind, soul, heart into a scream you knew. You knew despite the mind wrecking hope. He would not answer this time.

-----

Everything must come to an end...

or not...

SIKE

see you on chapter 16

#simon riley x y/n #simon ghost riley smut #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost x reader #ghost smut #ghost cod #cod price #john price #price cod #captain price #soap mctavish #soap cod #john soap mactavish #soap mw2 #gaz mw2 #kyle gaz garrick #gaz cod #konig #konig cod #andtheywereroommatesfic

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.

So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.

I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.

6x06 Secret and Lies.

Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*

Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...

Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....

Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.

Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.

God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.

Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.

Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.

I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.

Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.

The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.

The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.

Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.

Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.

He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.

This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.

We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....

I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.

I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.

Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...

Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.

Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.

'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'

Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.

Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*

Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.

But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.

Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...

So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.

Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.

Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.

Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.

Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.

Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.

This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.

It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.

I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.

'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.

This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.

When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.

Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.

The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.

That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.

I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.

~~~

Side notes non Chenford.

Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.

Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3

#Caitlin mini reviews #chenford #s6 #the rookie 6x06 #6x06 Secret and Lies #otp: unless it is #otp: doing my job #the rookie #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #tim bradford x lucy chen

[youkaiyume]

So, Rise of the Beasts!!

I saw it twice of the weekend, and I want to put down my honest thoughts.

Overall, I had a great time and I definitely think it's worth watching. Ignore the critic reviews for some reason they are offended that a Transformers movie exists to sell toys. You know, their sole purpose since the very beginning of inception. But OF COURSE I have THOUGHTS so...

Spoilers under the cut!

I liked the human characters for the most part. Noah's sudden onboard motives for going with the autobots to Peru was not as convincing but adventure needs to happen so I gave it a pass.

Mirage is like, DTF with Noah. Like he is SO ready for that tiny bf bff. It's obvious that Bee spoke so much about Charlie (cuz it seemed he was the only one who did talk positively about humans in their group) that Mirage was just. HIS BODY WAS READY.

CHARLIE WAS MENTIONED!!! AHHHHH!!! That was the one tiny smidgeon of a crumb that I wanted and they gave it to me. Granted it was implied when Optimus says "I know one was good to you, Bee" But I was told that the Latin America dub had him say Charlie's actual name. There was a SCENE that was cut out according to the Hollywood Reporter--that Bumblebee had also pulled out a polaroid pic that Charlie took of them together from the first movie here to show OP. HE'S BEEN CARRYING AROUND HER PICTURE ALL THESE YEARS I DIE WHY DID YOU CUT THIS OUT!!!

Mirage's abilities seem very arbitrary. And I do not like this. He can turn into several alt modes which seems to be only a thing that he can do... he can mass shift--which I know mass shifting is a thing but when he turns into a truck to sneak past the museum security I was like??? I was always under the impression that the bots could turn into a vehicle relative to their own actual size so this just confuses me. There is supposedly an earlier cut of the film where it was more clear that the trailer was another illusion. which I wish they kept in. Also when he becomes Noah's symbiote suit at the end?? Like, as a shipper and rule of cool I am into it, but as a person who wants rules to ground my science fiction I don't like how Mirage is just a swiss army knife for the writer's convenience. It feels lazy instead of taking the time to actually worldbuild. Nobody else can do these things.

The arbitrary mass shifting of him being as big or as small as he wants (like when he becomes Noah's exosuit) really falls apart when they keep insisting that they need the humans because only they can fit into small spaces. Well, clearly not cuz you can just do it yourself. AGAIN, PLEASE BE CONSISTENT WITH YOUR RULES.

Airazor x Elena. Anyone else????

speaking of which, I am very upset about what happens to Airazor. And we never even got to see her transform. tragic.

Optimus sure was a negative nancy which--I understand why but I hope they ease up on edgy "i will rip everyone's faces off" Optimus because it feels disingenuous to his character to keep it going for too long. Like I get it, they killed your fave child so I will forgive you but also I want more of "Be strong enough to be gentle" Optimus. Not the edgelord Bayverse Optimus that they are clearly going for cuz the know certain :ahem: fans like that.

Beeeee. They put him out of commission which again, according to interviews they did just so they could make sure he doesn't steal the spotlight and give a chance for the other characters to shine lmao. He is too powerful. But also because we shots of him in the trailers, I was not too worried about Bee staying out of commission. But goddamn when if I still wasn't hyped as hell when he made his comeback. 10/10 he proves he's still the GOAT.

I hate Pablo/Wheeljack. No, after seeing the movie my opinion of him did not improve in fact it got so much worse. His design was the LEAST of his problems. Every moment he was on screen was deeply cringe. And he barely did anything!! He could have not been in the movie at all and it wouldn't have made a difference and I genuinely believe it would have been a better film. All this hullaballoo over Pablo and this is what we got. Wheeljack fans lost hard after all that defense I'm sorry this ain't it.

Hey speaking of bots that barely got any lines or screentime, wtf was up with Rhinox and Cheetor? My boys got shafted :(

There was a moment where OP is asking the bots if they detected the terrorcons and Arcee WHO IS SITTING in the pablo van was like "lol nope" and I was like GURL how could you, you're in a van. And it made no sense because don't you also have an altmode??? Shouldn't you be scouting outside to cover more ground???

I firmly believe the only had Arcee sitting in there like a dumb duck because they wanted Wheeljack to make a dumb joke in the original cut about how it was a long time since she was inside him. UGHUGHUGH.

Did I mention how glad I am that they cut the majority of Wheeljack's screentime since it was so awful especially his and Arcee's implied romance? Especially since they killed off the other femmes so the only one we got now has to have a mandatory romance. No thanks. Glad that nonsense is gone.

The Maximals' robot modes were very minimal. and they went by so fast I never got a good look at their designs.

I loved how the Maximals were harmoniously living with the native tribe--and speaking their language!

Scourge's face reveal seemed to be treated like it was a big deal but when we saw him it was just... guy without his wig on. Literally the surprise is that he is bald.

Noah x Mirage is very strong good. I have no doubt the fandom will be all over it since they seem to eat up BL romance much more readily and I am all for it. They also have all the great ingredients for it--flirting, drift compatibility, self sacrifice for the other. Another human x transformer ship for the books.

I'm sure there are some ppl who like the ending. but I.... did not. I do not want to see G.I.Joes in my transformers I'm sorry. I don't want the return of military propaganda or more introductions to several human characters that take away from the transformers. I don't want to see them exploited or used for our own human affairs--even if it's a fictional cult-- when they could be literally fighting Decepticons or Unicron or whatever. People might have wanted them in Bayverse cuz it was heavily skewed Military in those films but I don't want to see it again. It was a terrible, dark time. the Joes might be presented as good guys but I don't trust the military in general and I don't see their motives as altruistic--especially if their goal is to use them for their own purposes. Why would they help them get home? They wouldn't, if just to keep their best weapons--and Noah is bait. He is bait and he will fall for it hook line and sinker because they are bribing him with his brother's healthcare and the fact that he is struggling to find work elsewhere.I hope if they are to be involved at all it will be relegated to characters here and there but they stay in their own movies if they have to ride on Transformers coattails to revive an irrelevant struggling franchise.

There was minimal human injuries/death and I appreciate that. They did the DBZ thing where they took their fight to remote locations. This probably won't keep up if they introduce the Joes :/

Overall, 8/10. I had a fun time. I didn't love it as much as Bumblebee but it was definitely miles better than Bayverse (a low bar I know). The action was clear, the characters likable, the CGI mostly stellar. I have hope that they will bring back Charlie maybe. But hey, I took my parents to it the second time around and my Mom liked Mirage and my Dad did not fall asleep so I will consider that a stamp of approval.

#transformers #rise of the beasts #ROTB #text post #long post #read more under the cut #not so much a review as all of the thoughts i had while watching it

[elionwriter]

Sherlock Holmes the Awakened: a Review

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

Sorry, sorry, sorry, but I just NEED to talk about this game! I have been a Frogwares Holmes fan since the very beginning and 'The Awakened' was always among my favourite titles. Not to mention one of the games that had scared the wits out of me. So I have to speak about the Remake now.

First and foremost, I think it needs to be reiterated that this game was made DURING THE FU****G INVASION OF UKRAINE! During such dark times, the team kept working on this. I would have supported this game even just for this reason alone.

Now, let's be honest: Frogwares never had the most marvelous graphics nor the most polished of gameplays and this entry is not an exception. I still feel the map system is a bit difficult to navigate (I may be an idiot, but I had the same issue with Chapter 1) but I really appreciated the added help the game gives you when you're recreating a scene, letting you know which passage you got wrong. Last game I found myself changing everything trying to hit the right combination so I really liked this fix.

This needs to be said: the game doesn't feel under any shape or form a product for a new fan. Everything from dialogues to game mechanics sort of take for granted that you've at least played 'chapter one'. Honestly? I'm ok with this, I hate having to always go through nearly identical tutorial stages for games I know inside out (like Pokémon) and I believe that most of not all people who are going to get this game ARE old fans!

I wasn't originally a big fan of the new Holmes and Watson models when the last game came out but....I dunno, they have grown on me. I find myself liking them now for, I suppose, no other reason than 'they are very expressive' and 'I've gotten used to them'. I think it's gotten to the point that these might be my favourite models of the two to date. Please ignore how fickle I am! (In honesty, just to draw a similar parallel, when Roger Craig Smith was first announced as Sonic's voice I hated it and now he's my fav Sonic v. actor)

This game has something.....compared to its predecessor, that makes it less scary. I can't really put my finger on it, but I distinctly remember the feeling of claustrophobia building in me when I was in the Black Edelweiss. Or the sheer jumpscare I got when the sacrificed American detective on the altar had tentacles coming out of it and severing his head making it roll to the ground. I remember almost not wanting to paddle the rowboat under the tree of hanging men in the Bayou. I remember how viscerally sick I felt at the lighthouse by all the gore and blood depicted. This time round.....I just didn't. I'm honestly not sure why this didn't hit me nearly as hard as its 2006 predecessor did!

And talking about comparisons, one thing I'm a bit disappointed they didn't grab the chance to do in this remake was fix the loose ends that were left hanging in the 2006 version. I mean....they still abandoned completely the search for that one Maori servant, what happened to all the people they managed to rescue? Who hired the private American detective that was killed? Why give out the cheap pendants? I know I'm a bit dumb and need extra explaining than what is necessarily needed but...I can't be the only one right? Sometimes you want to be told just a bit more.

Now, getting into the really good bits, that make all of it worth it!

'Chapter One' acted as a 'de facto' reboot of the Frogwares Holmes series, and I honestly think that was for the best. I don't really see where they could have gone with things after 'Devil's Daughter' and their Holmes had changed too much to be the same guy from 'The Silver Earring'...let alone Watson. But like this? They have a fresh, clean slate to start off from and they can rebuild the two mains' relashionship and lore from the ground up in a more strictly consequential manner. And the way they are doing it? I think it's state of the art!

The fact that they poke fun at themselves on certain points like Watson stating: "What about when you used to roll up only one of your sleeves? Did you get bored halfway through?!" I think the Devs themselves realized this was a cringe design choice and I like that they said so out loud.

The meta-conversation they wrote in towards the end, 'because yes, this HAS Happened before and the story still has the same outcome', is brilliant. I don't think I've ever seen another remake that acknowledges that it is a remake, and in the general madness that is mounting in the narrative this makes perfect sense! It adds one more layer of horror and inexplicable to the tale. The villain's warning 'that the Final Problem is coming and Sherlock will fall in the abyss too' is such a powerful way to use Canon. The prophecy is only made more real and dreadful by the fact that this person is aware of what has already happen in a similar but different scenario!

Also, not them using that one quote from 'The Valley of Fear' novel which happens to be one of my all time favourites!

I say, Watson,’ he whispered, ‘would you be afraid to sleep in the same room as a lunatic, a man with softening of the brain, an idiot whose mind has lost its grip?’ ‘Not in the least,’ I answered in astonishment. 'Ah, that’s lucky,’ he said, and not another word would he utter.

I think the thing that has most benefited from the Remake is Watson's character. Compared to the 2006 version, this Watson is a truly compelling character in his own right and this time round he's not just along for the ride. In this version, you simply cannot imagine how Holmes would have done it on his own. Watson was in every way a key component to the solution of the problem and the reason why Holmes didn't drown in madness. That point is driven home by Rochester asking 'How did you defeat me?' and Holmes answering 'I made a friend!'

Much of the narrative in the game was focused on Holmes truly learning to accept Watson's friendship and him as a person when he was still clinging so much to his old imaginary friend. You can see how, at first, Holmes refuses to be honest with the Doctor about what he thinks and feels and it's only as they move forward in the adventure that they both open up to each other. You can see as the adventure progresses that Holmes shifts his desperate cries from 'Jon' to 'Watson' to 'John' and the Doctor goes more and more often from 'Holmes' to 'Sherlock'. Mycroft also points this out when he says that Sherlock 'went from one Jon to another'. But this one, John Watson, is real and there to stay. In the context of a story that happens mostly in the detective's mind, Watson's friendship is really what turns the situation around!

I could add of little tid bits which were so random and on the nose that somehow worked, like the possessed 'Heidi' doll or the fact that you had to actually 'Kill Holmes' with the booby traps instead of avoiding them.

Also, "The director Guygax was randomly killed.....by a doll?!????!?!?! Yeah, let's just walk out of here no questions asked. That's too deep a wormhole even for this f***d up Adventure to go down. I'm sure nobody is gonna ask us questions, suspect or stop us as we go out the main doors!" 😃 -Holmes, probably.

So, yeah, I loved this game despite it not being perfect and my love and support goes to Frogwares more that ever!

#sherlock Holmes the awakened #sherlock holmes chapter one #sherlock holmes #john watson #frogwares holmes #sherlock holmes devil's daughter #holmes x watson #sherlock x john #sherlock and jon #jon #mycroft holmes #chtulhu #eldrich horror #lovecrafian

[aidaronan]

✨Fic Writing Review 2023✨

Tagged by the incomparable @greatunironic and my beloved @wynnyfryd.

Words and Fics

58, 889 words published on ao3

Plus at least 14,975 or so words of unpublished things that are started and incomplete.

At least 30 new ideas and/or WIPs.

8 published fics on ao3 + some new additions to the drabble/ficlet collection + many tumblr fics/microfics

One completed collab with @sparkle-fiend and one collab (two really) with @sparklyslug in the works

Two monsterfucker fics influenced by the Steddie FanExpo NoLa crew and getting crossfaded as fuck in the French Quarter after meeting Guiseppe Quintilliano.

Top 3 by kudos

Cassiopeia, Orion, Bootes (aka he was a gator boi) Like I Always Do (post-starcourt hurt comfort) Nothing Hurts (Like Your Mouth) (oops! all monsters. vamp eddie and were steve banging in a mausoleum)

Fandom Events in 2023

Lex's Spicy Six Spring Fanworks Challenge

Multiple @steddiemicrofic challenges: read here.

Upcoming Projects

Two Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang fics. Hilariously, neither of them are Steddie as the main pairing, but I think at least one is likely to hit novella length. I can't say a lot due to secrecy, but I feel safe saying one is a gen fic and one is f/f.

One tiny baker!steve/rockstar!eddie collab with @sparklyslug, hopefully out this holiday season.

One bigger collab with @sparklyslug in the spring if we keep our enthusiasm together long enough.

Will keep trying to plug away at the witches fic. I have, admittedly, lost some enthusiasm for them but I do know where the story is going. If you love this one, please be loud at me but in a non-demanding way lmao. I need you.

Two Fandom Trumps Hate fills of at least 10k for @withacapitalp and my dearest, Andi.

Eddie Bio project.

???Who Knows??? But there will probably be monstercock involved.

Some personal chat, rules, and tags under the cut.

Doing some oversharing because I'm starting to think it's vital that we all are honest about our struggles so we don't feel alone and so we know we're not failures. We're just people.

It's been a low production year for me. It's been a difficult year in general, but sometimes change is hard even when it's change you need.

Over half my year was eaten up with job hunting, moving, and trying to adjust while feeling the depressive effects of not having a local friend/support network yet or enough money for whatever the fuck the economy is, esp in this area relative to my salary. A good deal of my body of works for 2023 were written pre-move. Hell, a good deal of them were written in the first quarter. (Which, btw, shout out to anyone else who often feels a bittersweet sort of regret at not being productive in the current internet environment where you feel like you're old news if you can't keep up an unsustainable output. I love you, same, it's prob not true anyway, and here are 200 forehead kisses. <33) All of that said, I'm feeling much better lately. I've been reading again. Writing again. Feeling like I'm living again. I'm looking forward to another arbitrary border of time and on filling that border with joy, especially queer joy and weird joy and the intersection of both of those. As they say: let's fucking gooo.

I still love it here. I know steddie won't be forever for me, just like other ships before them weren't forever for me. But I'm having fun and have been really enjoying some of the connections made in this little sandbox.

On that note:

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please do eat glass, I’ve heard it’s good for your gums. Tagging, even though I know some people have already been tagged: @sparklyslug, @wormdebut, @banannabethchase, @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @messessentialist @rainbow-nerdss @plutosrose @thefreakandthehair and anyone else. @ everyone who keeps this fandom rippin' and roarin', kissing you, kissing you, kissing you

#fic writer things #fanfiction #year in review

[epickiya722]

Kiya, you're the first person who I follow, who are a Yuuji & Sukuna fan but not shipping them. Like, it's so cool....Most JJK fan that I know are people who love either one of them, hate both of them, or love both of them (and must shipping them romantically)....Do you think in the end, Yuuji is the one who will kill Sukuna for good?

Thanks @epickiya722 for sharing your fanfics and many reviews and analysis (especially for BNHA & JJK). Love reading them 💐🌻🌷

I prefer tumblr then twitter. I sometimes tired to see many negative comments around fandom. You're right, Kiya,.there are many people who love to talk negatively about a certain fandom, like if you hate it that much, why not just stop watching or reading them (yes 'a certain fandom' that I mean are BNHA & JJK)......

Is that rare?! To like both characters and not ship them?

Anyways!!

To that question, I do!! I'll be honest, I think out of all the characters, it would make sense if Yuji is the one to land the final attack and ending Sukuna for good. It honestly frightens me a little that this makes it possible that some of the other characters may be put out commission. But! Let's think about it!

I apologize beforehand because I know this is going to get long!

It makes sense to me that Yuji is the one to kill Sukuna because out of the characters, who annoys Sukuna the most? Who does he view now as his "main dish" because of his unbreakable resolve? Yuji Itadori!

This kinda plays into some thoughts of mine I'm working on.

For one, I think of Yuji and Sukuna's relationship as more twisted version of Yugi Muto and Yami Yugi (to an extent, Ryou and Yami Bakura).

A while back, in this post, I talked a little about how JJK share some similarities to YGO, which apparently Gege likes, I don't know, I read a post. I believe so with the references thrown in there and again, similarities that could be coincidences.

Yuji and Yugi have similar names, spiky multicolored hair (black, pink and blond... Yuji used to be blond), they're high school students who wear blue uniforms, raised by their grandfathers who also happen to look like the spirit possessing them in some way, they stick to their morals, got possessed by a spirit with a "King" title through a cursed objects...

Both stories involve something about souls, Kenjaku rocked the Bandit Keith special, in the anime, you can see Gojo hold a DVD that looks like Bonds Beyond Time (I have a post here showing so)...

That's all I can capture, but thinking about all that I wondered "well, how funny it would be if Yuji turns out to be Sukuna's reincarnation? Like his soul reborn just like Yugi is to Yami/Atem?"

If that's the case, then for sure it would be possible for another similarity to be thrown in.

At the end of YGO, guess what happens to Yami and Yugi? Spoiler, Yugi beats Yami in a duel for Yami to pass onto the afterlife.

In a way, it was like he was putting his past self to rest.

So couldn't it be possible for Yuji to do the same to Sukuna? Put the King of Curses to rest as he should be? Sukuna was reawaken into an era he does not belong to. It's something I don't see talked about a lot. A clash of generations.

Think of Gojo and the Higher-Ups. Gojo doesn't like their ways of handling the Jujutsu world. Another example, Kirara's technique is more "new age" which the HUs don't care for.

With Sukuna, in 248, he's used his opponents being people who fight him to prove something or fearing him. Now? Yuji breaks that mold. He's not someone fighting Sukuna to entertain him or even fears him. He's mad at him, he hates him and doesn't seek for his praise or to please him. He has accepted that he is a Jujutsu sorcerer.

Sukuna was used to his "old" ways, that he didn't account for Yuji to come at him with a different or "new" vibe.

So yeah, Yuji being the one to kill Sukuna would be fitting in my opinion. He was created to be Sukuna's vessel, but who says he couldn't also have been created to be Sukuna's threat? I mean, it is funny that Yuji was able to suppress Sukuna with ease.

Okay, that was long! 😆

**

Seriously, it's like do some of these people ever enjoy anything and want to talk about those things?

I get not enjoying something, but the endless cycle of complaining that "this chapter is too short", "that wasn't how I wanted it go", even "break again"!

Like, damn! Is there anything in the chapter you did like? Oh, now writers and artists can't take breaks? Wonder why we have strikes...

I'm not always optimistic, but I like some enjoyment in my life, too. Post some funny memes, write about why you like a character, ramble about a ship fic you like ans trust me you will feel so much better, folks.

Also, thank you, Anon!! 🌸💜💫

I don't think of myself as a bigtime blog with analysis and theory posts, but just someone who likes to share her many thoughts. I don't except anyone to agree with me or anything. I just have thoughts that I just post.

#kiya answers #kiya answers questions #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #itadori yuji #yuji itadori #yuuji itadori #itadori yuuji #sukuna ryomen #ryomen sukuna #ryoumen sukuna #sukuna #sukuna ryoumen #jjk manga spoilers #jjk spoilers

[soleilonthesun]

📸Interview with SAE ITOSHI. What will you tell us about his youth in Spain?

The cameraman: *Focuses on the Maditerranean Sea and then on Soleil, who is walking*

Soleil: Ah, sun, beach, and sand. Perfect to rest and spend a good vacation. *Soleil looks at the cameras* Welcome to this new interview. I am Soleil, your never-before-seen reporter, and I am pleased to say that we are not in Madrid, but the third largest city in Spain, Valencia. And at our side, a promising player who went to play for Real Madrid when he was young, Sae Itoshi!

Sae: *Looks at the cameras and waves*

Soleil: *Looks at Sae* Very well, the Blue Lock fandom, and among the FC GIRLFRIEND they ask a general question, during the U-20 game, which was brutal by the way, what happened to your relationship with Rin and what happened? during your youth in Spain?

Sae: *Clears throat, and scratches the back of his neck a little* Ahem... Well, if I'm honest, my little brother and I are just... frozen. Well, our relationship is frozen, and seeing him play 'ugly' destroying football... It's something he must learn... that shouldn't be like that.

Soleil: It's because you destroy football beautifully, right? But what really happened? Why did Rin behave that way?

Sae: There are a lot of questions... *Sighs* Look, Miss Soleil, the relationship with my brother has become fragile because of me...

Soleil: Would you like to explain that for FC GIRLFRIEND and the Blue Lock fandom?

Sae: I think some people know how to read between the lines, or will find out in the future. You know that FC Real Madrid made me an offer, right?

Soleil: *Nods* That's right.

Sae: Okay. Well, it was an offer I couldn't refuse. We are talking about a bright future. Of course, my younger brother was proud of me... and I of him... But, after having gone to Madrid to play and train, I realized that Japanese soccer is mediocre.

Soleil: I see... But was the offer that good? And your brother, how did he feel after you went to Madrid?

Sae: It is, Soleil. Unfortunately, I can't go into details, but.. I think my brother hates me, after breaking a promise.

Soleil: I don't know if your brother hates you or not, but the word 'hate' is pretty strong. *Comforts him with words* But what is the promise?

Sae: To be the best forwards in the world, but after my trip to Madrid, I gave up that dream for... something.

Sara: For something? You can explain?

Sae: *Clears throat* It's a bit difficult, but it has to do with the New X Generation.

Sara: You give many clues, young Sae. Does the organization have anything to do with it?

Sae: That's right. But, I wouldn't like to talk about it.

Sara: *With a red eyebrow* So, you know the German prodigy, Micheal Kaiser from Bastard Munchen, and the viper, Lorenzo from Ubers. No?

Sae: That's right. I don't know them personally, but I have seen them play and engage in several dialogues with they.

Sara: So, let's review: You came from Japan with the goal of becoming the best striker in the world, but after living in Spain... You changed your dream to become the best midfielder in the world after realizing that Japanese soccer is mediocre. No?

Sae: That's how it is.

Soleil: But, what happened during your stay in Spain? Did you keep in contact with your brother?

Sae: Like I said, an organization promised me something to take me far away, and yes... I kept in touch with my younger brother and my family although it was difficult the first few years because of the time difference.

Soleil: I see... Currently, in the manga, you are in an unknown wall. Can we know more about you?

Sae: It will be a surprise for the future, but I won't say anything about it.

Soleil: And finally, what do you think of FC GIRLFRIEND?

Sae: They are good at playing soccer. Nothing else. They have technique.

Soleil: So, that's it. *Soleil writes it in her notebook* Thank you for doing today's interview, young Sae.

Sae: Don't even give them. My manager asked me.

Soleil: *Looks at the cameras* And that was today's interview, with the promising player in the Spanish league. Although we currently do not know his whereabouts, we know more about his past. Will the PIFA be guilty of the mental change of the players? Don't miss more interviews like this. Thanks for today's interview. I'm Soleil, your never-before-seen reporter.

>>>Behind the scenes:

Soleil: *sighs* This will be the last interview I do...

@milkteansugar: What? You mean with the last interview? Won't you do more interviews?!

Soleil: No no. I will do more interviews! Just, I'll take a break~~ I must create a special magazine for FC GIRLFRIEND!

@milkteansugar: *Sighs of tranquility* What a scare.

Soleil: *tries not to laugh*

#blue lock #girlfriend fc #blue lock imagines #fc girlfriend #interview #magazine 2 #itoshi sae

[eddie-van-munson]

pt 2 to the secret admirer?

PART ONE

(Warnings: Cursing)

-So Eddie invites you over to study at the trailer a few weeks after he starts getting notes.

-He's a little embarrassed? He doesn't love for people to see where he lives? It doesn't help that he's always had a little bit of a crush on you. But your parents aren't too keen on you inviting him over, and he really needs to pass Chem.

-So his place it is!!

-You toss your backpack onto the couch with your notebook and tell Eddie to go ahead and start looking over stuff while you run to the bathroom.

-where you're literally just trying to fix your hair because damnit why is his hair always perfect

-Eddie opens his notebook, which is literally falling apart, and tries to find the equations  you'll be reviewing.

-He finds them but it looks like he must have spilled something on the paper. It's barely legible. So, he opens up your notebook, flipping through it to try and find where you have that one written.

-He immediately freezes.

-Because holy shit he'd recognize that handwriting anywhere.

-No way. Oh my god. No way.

-Thats when he spots a little paper tucked into one of the dividers in the notebook.

-He knows he shouldn't, but he has to know.

-He pulls it out, opening it carefully to find a note.

-His name is written so sweetly across the top of the page. Eddie Munson

-Before he can read it, the notebook and paper are snatched from his hands. "What are you doing?" Your voice is accusatory, and your cheeks are bright red as you clutch the book to your chest.

-"I didn't mean to! H-Honest! I was just looking for an equation." He draws a cross over his heart with his fingertip. "I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad at me. I just..."

-He trails off, watching you tuck the letter back into your notebook. Your eyes are welled with embarrassed tears.

-"It was you, wasn't it? You wrote all of those notes?"

-There's a long silence. Finally, a tear runs down your cheek. "I should go."

-"No no no no, hey..." He lays the notebook to the side and takes your hand. "C'mere. I want to show you something.

-You're hesitant. You can hardly look him in the eye. He stands and takes your hand slowly, like he's afraid he'll scare you away. He guides you to his room and opens the door.

-Your heart stops when you see every last one of your notes, just covering his walls.

"You....you kept them all?" Your heart aches, hope burning in your chest.  Your eyes trail over the collection in amazement.

-Eddie nodded, 'I didn't just keep them." He pulls a box from a drawer, opening it to reveal a huge stack of papers. "I wrote back."

-"I've been trying to find you for weeks. It's been driving me crazy."

-Your heart is just thudding. You take a note from the box, eyes scanning his chicken scratch handwriting.

- Dear Mystery Lover

-I still haven't decided who you are, but I have an idea of who you aren't. Mrs. O'Donald made me hand back papers the other day and based on the handwriting I saw? No cigar. I think it's safe to say you aren't in my 4th period.

-I've been thinking about what you said in your last note. Do you really think I'm pretty? No one's ever called me that before, but it's made me feel like a goddamn giggly little school girl all morning.

-I don't understand what the hell you're doing to me, but I definitely don't hate it.

- Sincerely, Your pretty giggly little school girl

-You're grinning now, tears welling in your eyes. You pull him into a tight hug and it catches him off guard but he melts into you so fast.

-He lays down the box, wrapping his arms around you

-"God I'm glad it's you"

-He pulls back to look you in the eyes, cradling your face

-"Did you know that you and Jason Carver have surprisingly similar handwriting? I was beginning to panic."

-You laugh so brightly and he holds your chin, pulling you into a gentle kiss through his ear to ear smile.

***********

#eddie munson #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #eddie imagines #eddie imagine #eddie x reader #eddie x you #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munsen x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munsen

[scribble-dribble-writes]

Watched the little mermaid and I seriously don't get the hate this movie is getting. The CGI was wonderful, I felt like I was 'under the sea', literally.

Halle crushes the role with her acting and singing, I was moved to tears. Jonah as Eric is perfect, he's so soft and in the screen time he gets allows us to see who Eric really is. He had me giggling.

Plus his song????? Had me melting in my seat and raised my standards. As a beauty and the beast 'Evermore' girlie, this song is my new obsession.

Melissa McCarthy as Ursula got me laughing and wetting my pants in fear and felt like a true Disney villain. 'Poor unfortunate souls' is top tier and Melissa's vocals is just AHHHHHHH so good!!

Javier as Triton omg, he portrayed Triton's protectiveness and love for Ariel really well.

Jacob, Daveed and Awkwafina smashed their roles as Flounder, Sebastian and Scuttle. Loved Scuttle's song too, it had me laughing. Also when they orchestrate 'Kiss the girl' omg it was everything 😭

Jessica as Vanessa killed it, I was legit scared haha.

It was amazing to be honest. Yeah nothing can compare to your memories of the original but this movie is meant for the this generation's children and having different women from different ethnicities play the mermaids of the seven seas and having Halle be Ariel actually was so beautiful.

Please watch the movie in a theater or write a good review for it, because people are just review bombing it and I feel that is not fair to everyone who created this magical story during covid.

#little mermaid #halle is ariel #halle bailey #jonah hauer king #prince eric #disney

[disgruntledkittenface]

annual* writing self evaluation

thank you @kingsofeverything and @nouies for tagging me!

1. List of works published this year:

I Choose You

when we're finished saying nothing

count me in

too into you

routine surveillance

you wanna be on top?

Suddenly Last Summer

if i'm being honest

it's a holidate

Red

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Suddenly Last Summer. I let myself let go and have fun and write exactly what I wanted, and I love the way it turned out.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I hate this questionnnn

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I love this bit from Red, the fic I wrote for @crinkle-eyed-boo birthday:

When Harry turns his head to bite Louis’ earlobe, Louis buries his face in Harry’s hair, breathing him in. He detects a faint whiff of smoke, and frowns.

“Did you smoke?”

Harry presses his face into Louis’ neck, nodding. 

“Oh, no,” Louis says, rubbing a soothing hand over Harry’s bare back. “I know you hate to smoke without me.”

Louis barely hears the whisper as Harry says, “I’m sorry,” since he doesn’t bother to lift his lips from Louis’ skin. But then Harry says it again, louder, following it with a kiss against Louis’ neck. And then again, over and over, leaving apologies and kisses against Louis’ skin like he wants them to stay, as permanent as the ink of their tattoos. Louis sags against the wall, trusting Harry to hold his weight, as the relief finally hits him. Harry hates apologizing, even when he knows he’s wrong. And Louis can’t even remember who was wrong, and more than that, he doesn’t care. He just wants Harry back. He doesn’t need Harry to beg, and it feels like that’s exactly what he’s doing right now. 

“Baby,” Louis says at last. “Stop, stop it. I’m sorry.”

A tear slips down Louis’ neck, and he wrinkles his brow in confusion. He hasn’t cried in several minutes, a record for him today, if not every day since the breakup. But then a sob wracks Harry’s body, his grip tightening on Louis as his shoulders shake. 

“Oh, baby,” Louis says, petting Harry’s hair. “No, baby, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

“I just missed you,” Harry chokes out. When he draws back, it’s Louis’ turn to smooth away his tears. “I missed you so fucking much, Lou.”

“I missed you, too,” Louis says, resting his forehead against Harry’s. “We’ve never been this stupid before, have we?”

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I really loved getting both @kingsofeverything and @allwaswell16 reactions to Suddenly Last Summer! Lauren theorized via voice note and I was glued to my email while Anitra commented as she read, and it all just felt really good!

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I'm not going to lie, writing was not that hard this year. I think I was just picking things I really wanted to write for myself. And it was a good coping mechanism when things were hard in my personal life. But honestly, it kind of feels like dumb luck because I've definitely had my share of writing block.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I don't know where the itch to write dark Harry in routine surveillance came from!! That took me by surprise, and I loved doing it.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I think just by writing for myself. I always wish I had different stats on my fics, but I can't write with trying to please people in mind.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I don't know! Keep writing for myself and being the weirdo who likes to do lots of different things.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

I am fortunate to have a lot of support!! This year, I really noticed the lovely comments I was getting from @nouies <3

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes! Just about everything that the cat does in if i'm being honest has been done by one of my new cats. It's my love letter to them.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I don't think I have much new wisdom. I always say pay attention to the writing advice that works for you, and ignore the rest. I think telling a story and making people feel something matters more than the technique, but I also say that as someone who has spent a lot of time on technique so don't listen to me if you don't want to!

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I want to write a girl direction When Harry Met Sally AU and make it VERY GAY and I'm excited about it!!

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

@neondiamond @homosociallyyours @absoloutenonsense

*All answers should be about works published in 2023

#zarry omegaverse #harry/chris pine #fbi man larry #zouis au #an american tragedy au #narry cat lesbian au #gryles xmas au #red (kim's version) #whms lesbian au

[totalcharliespringsimp]

K stop

The ending of young royals stop ok STOP

OMG 😭♥️

Ok my honest opinion warning slight spoiler alert

It was a good show but I don't think it deserves all the hype it got. In my opinion there was too much fighting between William and Simon like I wanted them to get together and yes they do in the end like William breaks free of the royal shackles and then confesses his feelings to Simon and they drive off.

But I actually wanted to see that relationship like it a good show but I feel like it wasn't amazing it was only so so. I genuinely don't get the hype and I would've rathered see a much Happier and less depressing show. I wanted Simon and William to have more happy moments in the show I hated how sad it was. We have enough sad queer shows and based on the hype it got I assumed it would be similar to Heartstopper where there's sad part but untimely was a good happy show.

Anyway I'm going to go cry in the corner because the end going to make me ball my eyes out :)

I feel like Young royals fans are going to give me a lot of shit for this but yeah this was what I thought. If you do like a little sadder darker queer shows I would definitely recommend and it wasn't a bad show it just wasn't what I wanted and expected from it.

But overall 6.5/10

Please also let me know if you'd want to see more of this kinda movie/TV show review kinda base because personally I have a hard time watching new shows and not just recycling old ones but this would give me a little motivation anyway that's all. Young royals fans please don't kill me when I sleep 🙏🏼😭

#young royals #film #review #queer #lgbtqia #gay #overhyped #please don't kill me 😭🙏🏼 #for saying this! #tv show review #netflix

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Cul-de-Sacs are Bad Writing

Ok, I have to be honest with y'all here. I didn't QUITE throw this book at the wall, but I WANTED TO. I don't know what HAPPENED with this book. ACOTAR was aggressively fine, if poorly paced and plotted, and ACOMAF was actually fun to read and enjoyable. Then we get to ACOWAR and the pacing and plotting problems are back with a goddamn vengeance, there are chapter cul-de-sacs that go nowhere and add nothing to the story or the character arcs, and SJM has this GODDAMN INFURIATING HABIT of just...picking up words that have specific meanings in specific contexts, going "that sounds cool" and dropping them places that make my extremely well-read, allusion-alert brain tweak in some extremely painful places because you can't just...APPROPRIATE WORDS LIKE "SERAPHIM" AND "MYRMIDONS" WITHOUT MEANINGFULLY RECONTEXTUALIZING THEM!!!! Not to mention that SJM murders the stakes of this book in their cradle. I swear to cauldron, this book was actually inexcusably bad. So let's talk A Court of Wings and Ruin.

So this is both your SPOILER WARNING and your heads up that this will be a RANT REVIEW. If you loved this book, this is not the review for you. Do not come crying to me that you weren't warned if you read past this point. This is also a CONTENT WARNING because there will be mentions and discussions of sexual assault because every SJM villain is also a rapist for SOME REASON.

I don't even know where to start with this book. I suppose...I suppose we could start with a few of the things I didn't hate. Oh, and the one thing I actually did like. That seems like a good way to begin.

The one thing about this book that I actually genuinely enjoyed was getting the foundation for Nessian. I was actually interested in Nesta's emotional journey because she had some goddamn agency in it. Like yes, she was yote into the cauldron against her will, but she never let go of her agency and she MADE it give her something in return. Like, yes girl, tell me more. Explore that. Dig in. And also, yes, I too am interested in the man-bunned jock who, when he is adulting, is a general and baddest bat boy on the battlefield. I enjoy their evolution from schoolyard hair pulling and insult slinging to actual partnership on and off the battlefield. I almost get a "he fell first, she fell harder" vibe from them, but their dynamics aren't fully cooked yet so don't quote me on that. Nessian was the best part of this book for me.

I also appreciated the setup and payoff of Nesta getting to absolutely annihilate the King of Hybern. There was something deeply satisfying about her taking his head off slowly and brutally for what he did to her and Elain. That was a great moment, even if the broader scene was in a part of the book where the stakes had long been dead and buried and the Nessian stakes in particular felt a little...hollow...as a result. Still loved the visceral, hands-on revenge murder for Nesta. Why yes, I did major in early modern drama and yes, I do have a thing for revenge tragedies. What gave me away?

Finally, can we PLEASE give Nesta the goddamn credit she deserves for single-handedly saving the High Lords alliance meeting? Because Feyre fucking blew it. She fireballed and everyone was about to bail and Nesta single-handedly saved the damn meeting through sheer force of personality. Girl understood the stakes and was the only one in the room who managed to get past the petty political and emotional bullshit and keep that big picture in mind. Nesta is a queen in her own right and frankly? She's a better Rhys than Rhys is in terms of actually trying to create a better world.

Sadly, we must now move on from the things I liked to the things I didn't hate. And there were actually a few, although they're more moments and little pieces of themes and character than actual themes and character arcs, because this book does actual themes and character arcs TERRIBLY. But. I didn't actually hate Amren getting to be high fae at the end of the book. Amren's whole deal was that she had to choose to be someone else to get out of the prison, and in the years she has BEEN Amren, I think she discovered that she really likes being Amren. The fact that she gets to be high fae Amren at the end of the book, that she gets to be the person she chose and likes? I can't not get behind that. The way we got there was inexcusably monster ex machina and SJM leaned WAY too hard on resurrections (Not even joking, when I was reading this, I live-reacted at my sister going "WTF AMREN!!" and her response was literally "give it five minutes, she'll be back".) in this book, but the core of "Amren gets to be the person she chose and liked" was good. I didn't hate that.

This might seem petty, but another thing I didn't hate was Feyre constantly crashing into trees, walls, and the ground while learning to fly. Some of these moments were genuinely comedic, some of them were nice little arrogance takedowns, and sometimes it was really just nice to see Feyre hit a hard surface at speed because lord knows I wanted to fling objects at her more than a few times this book. The pitfalls of learning to fly also felt real, grounded, and appropriately frustrating, so I didn't hate those scenes.

I also can't say I hated Feyre systematically dismantling both Ianthe's and Tamlin's credibility in the Spring Court. Was it shortsighted and ultimately counter to the larger goals of the book? God yes. Was it petty AF? Hell yes. Was it really straining the credibility of Feyre as "the people's hero"? YOU FUCKING BET YOUR ASS IT WAS. But all of that said...my God it was satisfying to watch Feyre show back up to the Spring Court and take it apart piece by piece. It's wildly unfair to Tamlin, but SJM seems to have appointed this poor 20-something with generational and personal trauma, leadership responsibility, no experience and no help as the series punching bag, and I can't fix that. All I can do is enjoy the petty assholery of Feyre taking his entire world apart (and shooting herself in the foot as she does so). (I was less enamored of Feyre beating Ianthe's hands into pulp instead of killing her. I am aware it was for plot reasons, but that was possibly the dumbest decision she could have made.) So while the early chapters of the book were objectively a Tamlin character assassination, those early chapters paced decently well and were fun in a petty, set-it-on-fire-to-watch-it-burn kind of way.

Another thing I super did not hate was Lucien. Lucien has always been an interesting character, and he shows himself to be capable of critical thought in this book, which we love to see! Then of course SJM writes him out for 85% of the book, so there's not a lot of time and space to love him.

Ooh, I also liked Bryaxis. Cool idea, great vibes, and I'm very much here for Feyre STILL NOT BEING ABLE TO INTERNALIZE NOT MAKING DEALS WITH FAE OR ELDRITCH HORRORS. Like...girl. You were warned multiple times, but now you have shadow kitty wanting pets. Did not hate anything about that.

Which...I think rather takes us to the end of the things I didn't hate about this book. Yikes, that is a short list. So if you're a Feysand stan or adored this book and somehow made it this far, I am going to respectfully suggest bailing now. I did not enjoy the rest of this book, and I'm going to explain why. If you're cool with that, we love to have you. If not, we will catch you next time.

For everyone who is still here, let's dive into ALL THE THINGS ABOUT THIS BOOK THAT WERE INEXCUSABLY BAD. And we're going to have to start with Rhysand, because dear god, what the hell happened. (And yes, I ended that sentence with a period. That sentence doesn't deserve a question mark.)

I thoroughly enjoyed cocky asshole Under-the-Mountain Rhys. He was a dick, he knew it, but he also had a sense of...idk, almost fair play that worked for him. I also am a big proponent of if you're going to write a cocky asshole, they better ENJOY that shit. "Hello Feyre, darling" was an A+ moment. It was the epitome of cocky asshole who knows he's a cocky asshole and enjoys it. I was tentatively on board with secret feminist Rhys in ACOMAF, but then we get to this book, and I just straight-up could not with traumatized bat bitch who was willing to completely toss his ideals out the window and retraumatize his found family for...reasons. In no particular order, these are the things I took issue with where Rhys was concerned:

Repeatedly traumatizing Mor and then INVALIDATING her very reasonable responses to him full-on not giving a fuck if the Darkbringer legion raped and pillaged their way across a battlefield, bringing Eris Vanserra into a meeting without warning her, opening Velaris to the night court, and invalidating her (heavily implied to be) sexual trauma and abuse by saying he'd have worked with Amarantha so she should work with whoever he tells her to. Like...holy shit Rhys, you say you're over here to help women recover and heal from these kinds of traumas, so WHAT THE HELL IS MOR TO YOU? All of this was shitty and Mor lets him off the hook way, way too easily. I'm not going to, though. Rhys was actively playing "my trauma was worse than yours" with Mor and that's a SHITTY thing to do to literal family--both blood and chosen.

Rhys letting Feyre off the hook for invading Lucien's mind. Let's be super real here: Feyre has been kind of a bad friend to Lucien from minute one. She has no boundaries, no ethics, and is possibly the worst person to have her particular set of powers. But it's not like she's getting EFFECTIVE HELP AND GUIDANCE from the one other person with that particular skill. She apologized to RHYS about it and he accepted the apology and told her she wouldn't cross the line again. Like...Sir. That was LUCIEN'S APOLOGY to either accept or reject, and I no longer love that you don't have ethics around this power use either. Shaky magical ethics are NOT GOOD. Adhere to them or don't, as is appropriate for a character, but like...have them well-established and strong. (It is possible I read Arrows of the Queen at too formative an age, but y'know, magical ethics are a thing I think about!)

Rhys's self-sacrifice obsession. This is one of those "your mileage may vary" things, but it absolutely did not work for me as a reader. I am too steeped in the "Dying for people is easy, it lets you off the hook" mentality to appreciate Rhys over here constantly going "If there is a price, I will pay it with my life." It also made fixing the cauldron REALLY fucking frustrating for me, because they had the five minutes to get the rest of the inner circle over there (or literally any of the other high lords or people with magic) to help. There was also an opportunity for a found family save, with Rhys going for the sacrifice play and the fam going "Hell no." But no, we had to LIE TO OUR WIFE and DIE. For all of about five minutes before we do a Twilight where "OH-EM-GEE FEYRE NOW YOU TRULY UNDERSTAND HOW I FELT UNDER THE MOUNTAIN" because apparently empathy isn't something Feyre is capable of...? I keep getting told not to try to logic this book, but some of this just defies even vibe reading, you guys.

I found Rhys a STRUGGLE and deeply unsympathetic this book despite a tragic backstory that should have done a lot of heavy lifting. Like, he's had some genuinely harrowing and traumatizing experiences. But then he invalidates other people's trauma and is super willing to INFLICT it on people. And he's not even got the courtesy to ENJOY it, so then I'm just over here drowning in angsty man pain that is in no small part of his own making...like there were moments I genuinely went "Did Rhys and Harry Dresden go to the same school of man pain?" I lack patience for this kind of non-self-reflective nonsense these days. I understand being protective of family and wanting your family to be ok, but Rhys gets smothery and toxic in ways that I am not here for.

Since a fair amount of my issues with Rhys are how he treats Mor, I think that makes for a decent segue into my issues with how Mor is handled. These come in two somewhat intertwined branches. The first is Mor's treatment of Nesta. The second is how SJM handles Mor's sexuality.

I'm going to say right here and right now, these books were DYING for LGBTQIA+ representation. These books are SO heteronormative, and adding representation would have been lovely...except that I would argue that the rep was handled poorly, leaned into harmful stereotypes, and poked holes in both Mor's characterization and the narrative structure of the book. I'm not here to disbelieve Mor when she says she prefers women, but finds pleasure with both men and women. I believe Mor. What I do think is that SJM coded Mor as straight for two and a half books, and that last-second pivot does a couple of things.

First, it calls Morrigan into question as a reliable narrator out of absolutely nowhere. Nowhere in ACOTAR or ACOMAF do we get a sense that Mor is an unreliable narrator. She has her perspective and biases, as any character does, but nowhere do we get the sense that she is hiding anything or lying. The inner circle TRUSTS her, that is established and shown. To suddenly have her go "Yeah, I've been lying to Cassian and Azriel for 500 years, and every time Azriel gets too clingy I sleep with a man where he can see to remind him to back off" is deeply toxic and this is sort of...never addressed? Not to mention that until this point, I had read Mor's leaning into open sexuality as a way to take agency and control after what her family did to her, and the reveal that she's bi kind of changes that into the "promiscuous bisexual who is often toxic" stereotype, which like...HATE THAT for Mor. The writing directly undercut something I was reading as strength and made it stereotype-y and toxic, and I hate that. And the book doesn't even address it! I could see a plotline in which Mor recognizing and addressing this toxicity and evolving herself and her relationships with the inner circle to a point where she is out, happy, healthy, and supported, and her boys are just happy she trusts them enough to be her whole self with them, but the book doesn't do that. It just reiterates stereotypes and keeps Mor with one foot in the closet and one foot out of it. LET MORRIGAN BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND HER WHOLE SELF!!!

And for the love of god have her stop actively being nasty and aggressive at Nesta over Nesta's interest in Cassian. That was uncalled for on every possible level. Before we get the bi reveal, it was the tired, toxic, girls fighting over a man thing. Afterward, it's another really ugly layer of Mor trying to keep Cassian trapped as a permanent buffer between her and Azriel. Literally nothing about this dynamic is good, but again, the book just kind of...presents it and does nothing with it. And I really don't love that because the potential for strong communication and growth in the inner circle dynamics was THERE and it was INTERESTING and then it was SQUANDERED in favor of the Feysand show. And it's not like there are any other characters to give another perspective on this--we just have Helion who also falls into that bisexual stereotype. So I would have loved some more representation here, but the representation we got was...not ideal.

I also have a bit of a bone to pick with the Illyrian wings. They got SO SET UP as delicate and difficult to fix if you fuck them up. But then all three of our bat boys have them absolutely shredded in this book and like...it's not fun but it's also not given the weight I'd have expected from how they were built up in ACOMAF.

We cannot talk about this book without also talking a little bit about the bigass High Lords Alliance Meeting. This thing got SO HYPED in the first half of this book. Like it was constantly being talked about, planned, and reiterated in terms of its importance. I was expecting an actual discussion about politics and alliances and the practicalities of working together to defeat Hybern. And in SJM's defense...we do get a little bit of that. But MOSTLY what we get is high-school level sniping, aggravated assault, and FEYRE FUCKING FIREBALLS BERON. Which pretty much could have torpedoed the meeting except for Nesta. NGL y'all, I was SO LET DOWN by this whole series of chapters. But at least these chapters had actual effects on the story...unlike the next bunch of scenes and chapters.

The latter half of this book, and particularly once the war gets going properly, this book is FULL TO THE GODDAMN BRIM of cul-de-sac scenes and chapters that go nowhere and affect the status quo not at all. Big standout examples of this include Elain getting kidnapped by Hybern and Rhys being dead for like five minutes.

Elain getting kidnapped by Hybern was literally just payoff for Feyre's flying lessons. Which didn't end up mattering anywhere else. Az and Feyre do a quickie side quest to rescue Elain and some random girl and Az gets his wings shredded, but it's ok, they have healers and he can *checks notes* MAGICALLY PATCH WOUNDS LONG ENOUGH TO GET BACK. Sure. Whatever. At this point I didn't even care, nothing mattered and there were no stakes. They get Elain back. It's fine.

Rhys was dead for less than ten minutes. Holly Goddamn Short could have brought him back easier than she brought Butler back. And it's not like we genuinely thought that Rhys was going to die after all that, this isn't that kind of book. Literally I'm so pissed off though, because SJM full-on did the whole, "Now you know what I went through when you died under the mountain, Feyre" thing. Like...is empathy not one of her skills? Or is Rhys so insecure that he can't imagine empathy without a 1:1 experience relationship? I hated this so much because it was dumb, it isn't how EMOTIONS work, and frankly? Why didn't Rhys want to SPARE her that experience? Because it sounded like it sucked.

I also need to address the Jurian/Mirayam/Drakon/Seraphim thing. It was underdeveloped as hell, doesn't come to a satisfying ending, and "OOPSIE POOPSIE OUR SHIELDS DON'T HAVE FRIEND FILTERS" so they were exactly where they were meant to be the whole damn time was fucking infuriating. This either needed development or to be left in draft, and at this point I don't care which.

Finally, the end of this book just felt limp. We half-assedly attempted to get everyone to renegotiate the treaty, and then went back to Velaris and broke out the good stuff. It is possibly the limpest ending I've read in a longass time.

This book didn't need to be this long. There was too much padding and not enough development, and a lot of it was just infuriating. The Mirror of Ouroboros was super underdeveloped, the character dynamics got driven into the ground, and the writing was deeply problematic on a bunch of technical levels. I have NOT forgiven the use of "twisted" or "Seraphim" or "Myrmidon" wildly out of context. These terms do not just...decouple from their connotations and contexts because SJM think they sound cool and yeet them at a book. The truly infuriating thing was the squandered potential after ACOMAF, because I genuinely enjoyed that book. I can't say the same of ACOWAR.

#acowar #a court of wings and ruin #acotar #faeries #fantasy books #books and reading #books #books and novels #books & libraries

[loquaxleemons]

More rainworld ramblings: DP spoils under cut

I may get hate for this hc but it's my headcanon not yours, and if you believe otherwise good for you.

Again I don't expect anyone to read these it just makes me happy to ramble.

After reviewing all SRS dialogue with Pebbles and NSH, its pretty clear they really don't get that their actions affected more than just their life. I mean they only mention Moon a few times, and usually it's because NSH brings it up.

I don't hate SRS as a character, they're written really well to make me feel so strongly about how bad of a friend they are to NSH and FP. And I still think they're a silly lil dude despite being, a terrible friend.

I'll review what we know.

First Offence: Spearmaster's pearl

The message seems really sweet at first glance and you think, man FP is being such a douche right now. And well he is, but he's also really young, and he's in pain, being cyberbullied by UI, and upset. Sun's approach is not very good for his current mentality, they come in preaching things FP already knows about, they berate him for not doing the experiment right and acting rashly despite him being in pain as his insides are getting eaten, and they know, him they know that he's emotionally immature and probably really upset, and they chose to send him something they knew would just make him more upset.

Second Offence: Watch in Horror Broadcast

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[LIVE BROADCAST] - PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment SRS: I'm in noticing you are becoming more defensive. This obviously wasn't the end result I was aiming for, you know. SRS: Please respond to my messages. I don't want to leave it like this. I need someone to talk to. NSH: I don't mean to be cold, I'm just very worried. NSH: The activity I'm seeing from Moon's can is becoming increasingly... concerning. NSH: Our available options are rapidly diminishing, and I feel helpless to do anything. NSH: I can just watch in horror. SRS: ... NSH: You should have sent the messenger to Moon instead of Pebbles. SRS: Do you think that would have helped anything? NSH: To be honest, no... I'm not sure that it would.

Suns gets on NSH's ass for being upset Moon is dead. There is no, I'm sorry for your loss, or even comforting NSH. It's just "I need someone to talk to" it's about SRS, and how SRS feels. Not how NSH feels. And this is more apparent in the other broadcasts because it's just about Suns and how they feel about Pebbles or about Spearmaster.

Third Offense: Humiliated Broadcast

[LIVE BROADCAST] - PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment SRS: I'm just so frustrated. SRS: I feel like I've doomed not one. but two iterators. SRS: And in the whole process I've lost a great friend, who won't even let me help him. NSH: We make mistakes, it'll be okay. You know Five Pebbles really looks up to you. SRS: Yes, I know that, but... NSH: I think he's scared. Scared, and humiliated. Unparalleled Innocence spreading the news probably made him feel even worse. SRS: ...I think you're right.

this one is actually not bad, but still the conversation is about SRS, they don't ask how NSH feels despite being Suns' therapist friend this whole time.

Fourth Offence: Tragic and Big Setback broadcasts

[LIVE BROADCAST] - PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment SRS: I just don't understand... why hasn't Moon done anything about the situation herself? SRS: She was appointed as Pebbles' superior. She has the power to stop him. NSH: I've been very close with Moon, and I can tell you she is incredibly caring. NSH: And while her kindness is one of her greatest attributes, it is also to her detriment. SRS: Isn't this excessive, though? Surely she at least has a sense of self-preservation. NSH: I'm sure she convinced herself that she could help Pebbles. That she could bring him under control with words rather than forced action. NSH: She's probably still trying that now, unless her systems have degraded past the point of even allowing that. NSH: That's why this is so tragic to me. [LIVE BROADCAST] - PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment SRS: I remember talking with Five Pebbles not too long after he was first put online. He had a bit of defiance, even back then. SRS: It was an odd situation, to be certain. Its quite rare for one iterator to be made the administrator of another. Just as rare as them being built right next to each other. NSH: His lack of appreciation used to bother me. Moon was a great big sister to him! SRS: Yes, absolutely. However. Five Pebbles had a very strong drive for independence. He was never one to want to be told what to do. NSH: I think a lot of us were like that in the beginning. I remember being in that phase a very long time ago. It takes many iterations for our world views to develop and for us to realize the flaws in those lines of thinking. NSH: Unfortunately, from what I've seen, Five Pebbles seems to have plateaued at that phase. SRS: No, that's not true. I was helping him to get past it. We were making good progress, actually! SRS: The current situation, however, is going to be a very big setback...

I don't like the way SRS explains Moon to NSH despite him being closer to Moon than Suns is, you know Pebbles, NSH knows Moon.

And I just hate the whole big setback chat, seems like they're (NSH and SRS) objectifying Pebbles and treating him like a project rather than a person. Also feels like they're forgetting that he's younger than they are so he's still growing.

AGAIN despite saying all this I enjoy SRS's character, their role in the story and their dynamic in the group feels good, and real. It's exactly how a friend group like this would work. It just confuses me a little how people depict Suns often as a caring person when they are really never shown to be considerate of anyone's feelings like Moon or NSH is. I don't think SRS was a good influence on Pebbles, and might be the reason he's the way he is.

This entire thing is partially why I also don't really ship sunstone, but yk I still enjoy the Sunstone art and stuff. I don't waste my time chasing people I don't agree with. You've got your ideas I've got mine, I bet your art/story is beautiful it's just not for me.

#rain world #rainworld #headcanon #rambling #seven red suns #text post #Loquāx Rambles