#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.

[inkskinned]

it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

#warm up #writeblr #i spent a lot of time picturing our future #how funny to think: in each version of our future #i was never myself #i was someone smarter kinder braver #better adept. #who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me #i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me #people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you. #it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy #the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself: #if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay. #for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing. #and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made #it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'. #a few days ago while i was doing something else #i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized . #you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly. #you said: you're doing this to manipulate me. #you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO #SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me. #i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness #you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.

[scornedlove]

Chapter Twenty-Five

ROBYN

“Don't even go inside” I muttered to myself as I approached Dre’s front door. The entire ride over, I prayed he would still be at work so I wouldn’t have to get a lecture from him about last night. Of course, with my luck, that wasn’t the case. His car was parked out front, so I knew there was no avoiding the conversation I’d been dreading. 

"Oh well" I sighed, preparing for the judgement I was about to face, and knocked on the door.

“Wow” Dre smirked, with his eyes damn near popping out of his head when he opened the front door. He was fresh out the shower wearing nothing but a robe, which was partially open. Damn I have the worst timing.

“Sorry, I wouldn’t ha-”

“That cut is fire. Reminds me of cat woman.” he interrupted in awe, giving me a once over. 

“Yeah, I needed something different.” I shrugged, running my hand through my pixie cut. 

“It’s definitely different. That shirt looks good on you too” he added, disappearing down the hall, leaving me no choice but to come in. I looked around his living room for my stuff while trying so hard to remember anything from last night, but my mind was still coming up empty.

“I couldn’t find my clothes or phone anywhere this morning” I explained when he reappeared in a t-shirt and sweat pants.  I didn’t mean to glance him over, but I did, and the first thing I noticed was he didn’t have any underwear. I felt my skin flush and immediately drifted towards the door.

“That might be because you didn’t wear any” 

“So, you telling me I came over here ass naked?” I shrieked in disbelief.

“Kinda” he chuckled shaking his head. “You had that trench coat on, so you were at least covered up”

“Ugh. I’m so sorry Dre. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but I was going through some shit. Don't even ask.” I sighed, focusing my attention on an old picture of him and his mom. I'd seen it hundreds of times, but I couldn’t look him in his face right now. I felt guilty for popping up on him after being MIA for so long, even though that wasn't my intention.

“We don’t have to talk about it, but I am worried about you. How are you feeling?” he asked, motioning for me to sit.

“OK. Please tell me you have some fucking Tylenol” I muttered, taking a seat on his sofa. He retrieved the pills from his bathroom and a bottled water from the fridge, then stood in front of me, refusing to hand them over until we locked eyes.

“How are you feeling?” he repeated, this time more sincere than before. 

“Like shit” I retorted, popping the pills and swishing some water around before swallowing them.  After venting to Ursie and my favorite soup from Panera, my headache was finally gone, but my body was still sore as fuck.

“I bet. Last night was…crazy. I’ve never seen you like that before” he snickered, attempting to lighten the mood.

“People keep telling me that.” I shook my head, as my face began to heat up from embarrassment. “Did I at least have my phone with me?”

“Yeah, someone was blowing you up, so you threw it.” he explained, grabbing a Ziploc bag from his kitchen and bringing it back to me. ”The screen shattered, but it should be fixable.” 

“Thanks, and thanks for not judging me. You know I wasn’t in my right mind last night; I just hope you’re the only person I fucked.”

“Woah, slow down. You know I’m not that type of guy”

“When I woke up naked, I assumed… so we didn’t…have sex?” I stammered, completely confused.

“No. You texted me saying you were on your way. Half an hour later, you were at my door in that.” He nodded towards the coat that laid across the chaise.

“Well thanks for not taking advantage of my stupidity” I sighed, biting my bottom lip to force back a wave of emotions that threatened to escape. Why did he have to be so damn respectful? He was really one of the good guys, which made me feel worse for pushing him out of my life to begin with.

“You good?” he asked, taking a seat next to me. I was trying so hard to hold everything in, that the tension in my face must’ve gave away my true feelings. My voice caught in my throat, so I nodded my head as I sniffed back tears.

“Really Anna? You can’t keep it all inside. Bottling it up won’t do any good.” he urged, squeezing my shoulder. That simple touch was enough to encourage the waterfall to proceed. Tears poured from my eyes, but I refused to release the rest. I didn’t plan on letting him see me like this. Especially when it all stemmed from Chris.

“Let it out. You’re gonna pass out if you don’t release that shit.”

“I feel….out of control” I admitted, grasping his thigh as I struggled to breathe. Although I was already sitting, I felt like I was falling.

“Put your head between your legs” he ordered, before darting out of the room. Seconds later he was back with two more pills. I wasn’t even sure what it was, but he was the doctor and I trusted him, so I tossed them back with another sip of water.  It took a few minutes, but the trembling stopped and the tears eventually followed.

I couldn’t believe I broke down in front of Dre like that. If last night didn’t ruin his perception of me, I’m sure today did. At this point, it didn’t even matter. My mind was racing with all the ways I could get Chris back for hurting me the way he did; from sleeping with Quincy to telling Tae everything that happened between us. If she knew everything he put me through, she’d run in the opposite direction. Either way, I knew had to do something. I didn’t go through hell for him to ride off into the sunset with some random chick. It’s not right and there’s no way I’m letting him get away with it.

AUNDRE

“Do you have time to take me home? If not, it’s cool. John is just a phone call away.” Anna asked, after clearing her throat. We had been sitting in silence for the past ten minutes because neither of us knew what to say after the meltdown she’d just had.

“I can take you”

“You sure? I’m not trying to be a bother”

“You know I got you. You won’t ever be a bother to me.” I reassured her as I helped her gather her things and led the way to my car.

The entire ride she quizzed me about work and family. It was obvious she was trying to keep me talking about my life so she wouldn’t have to comment on hers, but I went along with it. If she didn’t want to talk, I wasn’t interested in probing.

“I hope you can forgive me for intruding like I did last night. You could’ve had a woman over for all I know.” She stated jumping into apology mode the moment we got to her block. To be honest, I was more worried about her than offended. I was sick of the victim role she kept feeding into and wanted her to make better decisions. How do I tell her that without pissing her off though?

“You know me better than that. I don’t have random women in and out of my place.”

“I know, but you get what I’m saying.” she sighed, rolling her eyes. 

“Honestly, this shit scares me. It’s obvious you’re not okay and that doesn’t sit well with me.” I stated, choosing my words carefully. I glanced in her direction, waiting for a response, but she just stared out the window. 

“Why do you even care?” she asked, finally facing me. I couldn’t believe the sadness that was seeping through her beautiful green eyes.

“Are you kidding me? You were the one who kept me sane when Teyana was putting me through the same roller-coaster ride you’re going through with Chris.  I never told you this, but you saved me from committing suicide.”

“What? You tried to kill yourself over Teyana?”

“Do you remember that time, sophomore year, when you and Chris were supposed to go see some movie, but ya’ll got into a big argument?” I quizzed. 

After a moment of thought, she nodded adamantly. “I found a message in his phone from another girl and ended up making him stop the car so I could walk home that night”

“Well, if you hadn’t come back when you did, I would’ve gone through with swallowing a bottle of Tylenol. You know Teyana was my first serious relationship. I really thought I was gonna marry that girl, then I’d found out about her cheating on me. At that time, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else and hated the thought of her being with anyone else so much, that I would’ve rather died. I’d just finished writing a letter to my mom when you stormed through the front door in tears. It was the first time I saw you cry. Instantly, I felt the need to protect you and I realized I couldn’t do that if I were dead.”

“Wow. That’s crazy Dre. I’m glad you didn’t go through with it. You were my best friend, my only friend at the time, that would’ve crushed my soul.”

“I’m only telling you this because it was a rough time for me, yet I hid it and wouldn’t let anyone in. I want to be here for you, but I don’t know how. Tell me what you need.”

“What were those pills you gave me?” She asked, fumbling with her fingers. “They really helped.”

“Xanax. I only had the 1mgs. I know you usually take the halves, but I’ve never seen you tremble so hard. You need to ask your doctor to increase yours.”

“Honestly, I haven’t seen my doctor in a while. I got tired of doctors, hospitals, and anything remotely related. Besides, I was doing good, so I stopped going.”

“Well there’s your mistake. You’ve been through a lot and as much as you want to be over it, you aren’t. Promise me you’ll make an appointment sooner than later.”

“I…uh. Can you just give me some more?” she pleaded, poking out her bottom lip. I hated when she did that. "I just need a few on hand for situations like earlier, which doesn't happen often. I get why you're worried but don't be. I would never harm myself.

“I don’t want you making it a habit, but I can give you a few. I have some samples at the office. Just stop by whenever you can and I’ll help you out.”

“Thank you so much, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I really owe you one.”

“I can get in trouble for this, so I’m not doing it forever. You need to stop being a pain and get in to see your doctor.. That’s all I’m asking.” I added, and she reluctantly agreed. 

I watched her until she entered her front door and debated on staying awhile. I wanted to make sure she was good, although I knew I’d done all I could. I was about to pull off when a black Porsche pulled up and parked right behind me. 

“This motherfucker” I muttered when the driver and I made eye contact. The music was blasting and the convertible top was down, so there was no mistaking who was inside.

He didn't need to be here. I was sick of this cycle draining her and I wasn't going to sit by and watch anymore. I took a deep breath, pulled my keys from the ignition, and quickly hopped out of my car. The closer I got to his car, the better I could see that smug look on his face, the more I wanted to punch him. I was sick of him and he was gonna feel my wrath today.

ROBYN

“What a night" I groaned, kicking my pumps off the moment I walked in my front door.  I've never drank so much that I couldn't remember the night before, but at the same time, I was glad I did. Too bad it didn’t make me forget the past three years of my life.

"Mama's home" I sang, showing Ollie and Pepe some love when they came running. I realized they were hungry and instantly felt guilty for disappearing on them last night. I quickly filled their bowls, wondering why Rayven hadn’t fed them for me. We haven’t been the closest since she’s been back, but she still looks out for my babies. She loves them just as much as I do. 

I knocked on her bedroom door and after a minute with no response, I let myself in. I was shocked to find a hole in my wall, broken glass on the floor, ripped, bloody clothing on the ground, and Rayven nowhere to be found. I called her and after two rings, was sent to voicemail. My next instinct was to call the police, but I tried her one more time instead.

“What the fuck do you want?!” she screamed in my ear, after the first ring.

“Scuse me?”

“You heard me. I left your house key on the kitchen counter and didn’t take anything that belongs to you. So, what the fuck do you want?”

“What the fuck happened to my room?”

“Are you kidding me?! You did that shit! I apologized for my fuck up a long time ago, and if you knew you didn’t truly forgive me, you could’ve said something then. After what you did last night, don’t call or text me. Matter of fact, don’t even consider me family.” she snapped, before hanging up in my face. I had no idea what she was talking about and was about to call her back, but the dogs barking uncontrollably stole my attention. 

“Hush!” I ordered, when I found them on the couch barking out the window. After they calmed down, I realized what they were losing their shit over and my heart dropped. Chris and Dre were in front of my house yelling at each other, and by the looks on their faces, it was escalating fast.

“All you gotta do is get back in your car and keep it pushing. This ain’t got shit to do with you” Chris exclaimed with clenched fists, getting in Dre’s face.

“If it involves Ana, it involves me” Dre countered, standing his ground. 

“What’s going on?!” I yelled, running towards them as quick as my bare feet would allow.

“Nothing, Chris was just leaving” Dre announced, throwing his arm out to keep me back.

“I’m not going anywhere”

“Chris, what are you doing here?”  I intervened, getting between the two of them.

“We need to talk” He stated, attempting to grab my hand. 

“I have nothing to say to you, leave.” I countered, dodging his reach and crossing my arms.

“Don’t shut me out like this. Can we please ta-”

“You deaf man? She said leave!” Dre snapped, cutting Chris off. I’ve never seen him this mad, and couldn’t believe he was challenging Chris this way. I expected Chris to lose his shit, but he leaned against his car unbothered.

“Dre you can leave too! Ya’ll aren’t about to do this in front of my house”

“I’m not going anywhere until this piece of shit is gone” he exclaimed, pointing at Chris as he pulled out a pack of Newport's and lit one. I could tell he was trying to piss Dre off, and it was pissing me off too.

“Please don’t do this. I'm not some damsel in distress. I’m a big girl, I can handle myself” I begged, rubbing my forehead. I was already stressed out; I didn’t want to deal with anything else right now. I was liable to snap and I prayed he sensed it in my tone. 

“I’ll let you handle it...this time” He sneered, staring Chris down the entire walk to his car. When he pulled off, I exhaled feeling partially relieved.

“I hope you ain’t fucking that punk” Chris spat, pissing me off even more.

“It’s none of your concern who I’m fucking!” I yelled, snatching his cigarette from his mouth. I threw it on the ground and stomped on it to show him I wasn’t playing. “You have some nerve showing up here, after the decision you made yesterday.”

“I didn’t decide on anything” 

“Not being able to decide is equivalent to choosing her. If you loved me, there would be no question to it.”

“That’s not right and you know it”

“Not right?!” I exclaimed, shaking my head. 

“Robyn, you’re asking me to break this woman’s heart, when all she’s ever done was be good to me”

“WHAT ABOUT MY HEART?! ALL I EVER DID WAS BE GOOD TO YOU!” 

“I know and I’m sorry. That’s why I’m trying to fix this, but I need to do it the right way.” he explained, attempting to close the distance between us.

“What part of ‘all or nothing’ don't you understand?" I quizzed, losing my patience. I tried to push him away, but he grabbed my hand as tight as he could.

“Rob, don’t do this to me please. I need us to be okay.” he begged, as I twisted out of his tight grip.

“There is no us! I never want to see you again! Now get the fuck off my property, and if you come back, I’m calling the police!” I stated, leaving him on the street. He called my name over and over and for the first time since I’ve known him, it didn’t affect me one bit. That’s how I knew it was official, I was done with him.

#robyn rihanna fenty #chris brown #ff #fanfic #fanfiction #tarnished

[regularjourneyingpotato]

The Post that was supposed to happen 2 weeks ago

So... the first week. Basically my first week was me walking around and looking lost enough for other people to help me. (✿◡‿◡)

My transferring period to the school started on a Monday, and will end on a Friday, and so my first mistake was assuming I would go to school on Monday, and that I should come here already on Sunday. Which they of course weren't prepared for, though I certainly thought I had made my travel plans clear for everybody. I had already ‘cleared everything up’ with everybody, and made my travel plans when I was informed I would start on a Tuesday, and not Monday, and thought nothing much of it.

The place I’m staying at is a student apartment complex that seems to be mostly for university students, (which I am not) though at least to my Finnish standards it feels almost like a hotel. (There’s a reception, a peep card for the front door, and a cleaning lady.ಥ_ಥ I don’t understand how, but I like it.) 

So, my stay had been arranged according to the dates on the paper, there had been a price ready for me to pay when I arrived, and I arrived too early. Thankfully I got a different room for the night, and everything turned out okay with the price a couple days later. 

My Monday went by with me going to the mall I can see from my window now, and learning how the supermarket here worked, and nothing much else. (as I said, a couch potato)

Tuesday was my first school day, so I left with plenty of time to get to the school (assisted with google)  and apparently jaywalking is popular here? Because google directed me to a road with 4 lanes and a railing in the middle, and no way to cross over. 

I still had plenty of time so I took pictures though. ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

(I’m half sure my usual route to school is longer than it is supposed to be now, but I’m being careful with the cars driving so fast here, and it’s pretty so I don’t really mind either. )

The bridge is long, it goes over the small river and two roads.

When I finally got to my school, after walking most of the way back and walking across the bridge like I was supposed to in the first place, I still had more than one hour before I was supposed to meet with the coordinator of the school, so I ended up walking some more. (Now, some people might be doubting my right to call myself a couch potato, but I was early because I was over-reacting over being late usually and wanting to change that, so this doesn’t really count)

So this might be too many pictures, but the atmosphere with the leafless trees and the old buildings, and the half cloudy weather is so good I couldn’t really help myself. 

My school for the duration of my stay here ╰(*°▽°*)╯(I was so lost for the first couple weeks in there and didn’t even know how many floors it had but it has grown on me)

I don’t know how to even spell it, so instead I took a picture of the plate at the front door of my school. (✿◡‿◡)

I got my schedule, and a walk around the school I could tell I was going to be lost in for the foreseeable future, and then I got to go to my first painting class since primary school. (we started a dress/jacket portrait, you will see it soon)

(something about my schooling, I’m here to do painting, and only painting, it is my only course left before graduating, but I got other classes too for some reason, though I’m mostly trying to not stress over how slow I am at technical drawing, and having fun with the graphics and the photography I’m not sure I understand)

The school here uses mostly oil paints, which I knew before coming here, and liked about this school in the first place. But I hadn’t fully understood how messy that would get, or how hard they are to wash off of absolutely anything. (¬‿¬); 

I have since given up on actually saving any of my clothes, and just choosing them by the day, so I use the same clothes when I have painting. 

I have very little actual school hours in a day, which at first I was skeptical about, but after three weeks am now grateful for. But my first week I went pretty much exactly on schedule, which helped me memorize my route to school pretty quick, since there are free periods in the middle of the day.

Wednesday I had photography, and maybe helped along by the assignment I got I went walking in the evening, and took a bunch of pictures.  

The bridge that goes over the actual river is a lot longer than the one I cross over every day. 

Of course, after being all productive and taking pictures and going for a walk, I dropped my phone on the way back and the screen cracked in four different places, crunching when I held it too tightly. (so glad i still had the plastic screen thing phones come with, there would have been pieces missing otherwise.) 

Other than the display and the screen being completely unusable the phone kept working fine, and I brought my laptop with me, so I had no problems keeping in touch with everybody in Finland. (For those that don’t know, this wasn’t my first time with having something like this happen, breaking my phone while not being in my home country seems to be forming into some kind of weird tradition(¬_¬ ); )

I have never broken my phone in a way that’s fixable before, so I kept thinking about what to do for a week after, not really being in any real hurry anyway.

The rest of the week wasn’t really any different, and I had nothing to take pictures with, so we will just gloss over that part by saying it was fine.

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The first week was mostly about getting to know all the classes, and walking around, and being just a little bit lost. There were a lot of students who talked to me and made me feel a little more welcome that I’m very grateful for. 

#school #travel #riga #latvia #student exchange

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Meeting Nadia

Chapter 1

“I have never been this nervous in my life.” I told roman as we pulled into his driveway. “What if she doesn’t like me?”

Roman chuckled. “I love you, so she’ll love you but there’s a few things I must warn you about.” He parked and turned to me grabbing both my hands and looking into my eyes. “She absolutely can read your mind.”

I was not so much shocked, as I was intimidated. I mean could she dig thru your memories or only see what you thought at the present? Could she recognize what thoughts were reality and which were imaginary? Could she see your dreams while you slept? Was there a range for her being able to access your mind? Did she have to see you, or touch you? So many questions.

“Hey killer. What are you thinking? Talk to me.” Roman searches my eyes looking a little less confident than usual.

“Just like does she need to touch you or look at you? Can she tell what thoughts are real or memories of shows or dreams? Can she dig thru your mind? Can you see her thoughts? I mean .... wow.” I looked at the house wondering if she were listening to us right now.

“How scary for a little girl, to see in the mind of adults.” I looked back to Roman.

All of a sudden I wanted to meet this little girl more than anything. I had to protect her from the world and show her beautiful things and thoughts. No doom and gloom like she’s been exposed to. I wanted to meet this little miracle of a girl and show her how happy life could be.

“I already love her and want to protect her and show her all the beauty in the world and I haven’t even met her.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

Roman beamed at me, pulling me in for a passionate kiss. He pulled away slightly and then nuzzled his cheek against mine before whispering, “how is it possible to love someone so much? How did I ever survive without you?”

“I think I’d die if I lost you.” I said without thinking and felt my stomach somersault when I realized what I’d just said. I smiled and pulled back to look at his perfect face. “Are you perfect, or do I just think so because I love you so?”

“I’m pretty perfect honestly. I mean look at this bone structure,” he said laughing. “You ready to meet her? She already knows you’re here. She’s waiting for us.”

I squealed and jumped out of the car, leaving everything inside and running over to the front door. Roman made his way over, much more casually as I hopped up and down nearly bursting with enthusiasm.

“Ok breathe.” He said as he opened the door.

The house was very modern and the decor kind of dark and dreary. It had a dark foreboding feeling and wasn’t at all welcoming or warm. It kind of felt like another museum house, but that was fixable. Most guys decorate this way. Roman just was fabulously wealthy so it looked more intentional and artsy.

There was a man cooking something in the kitchen that smelled amazing. I guessed this must be the chef and discretely scanned the area for a child, but could see none. I also noted there weren’t any toys or signs of a child in the home. No toys or high chair, or tiny shoes or clothing to be seen. No pictures of any actual people. Just art. That was the first thing I was going to do. Get a cute picture of Roman and Nadia and display it in a nice frame. I wonder if she looks like him. Does she have his full pillow lips and soulful eyes, or does she favor her mother. I’d only seen a single picture of Letha when I’d searched for info on Roman.

Letha was beautiful. She had long golden hair, big blue eyes, and soft feminine features. She had a kind smile in the photograph that you could see shined out through her eyes as well. She was beautiful light that was welcoming and warm. She made you feel like she would be your best friend and cry at the movies. Romans beauty was more severe. He had sharp features and although he was gorgeous, it wasn’t welcoming and warm like Letha’s beauty. It was more intimidating, and you could even go so far as to say, he was the beautiful darkness. The crisp pure silence that meets you late at night when you’re alone and everything looks differently yet the same, and you feel like something might be watching you from the shadows.

“Where’s Nadia Marcus?” Roman asked the man cooking.

My mouth was watering from its wonderful aroma. I’d never had a chef before, and suddenly felt the need to get one myself. I had money, but I never hired help around the house, feeling like it was lazy but maybe having people do things for you, wasn’t that terrible. He was cooking some type of stir fry with noodles and veggies as well as some type of meat. Chicken maybe? I didn’t know how to ask for food, and felt weird assuming I can just have some, so I tried to push my hunger back in my mind.

“She’s with Elise in the library learning a new language.” He said in a deep warm voice.

“Another one?” Roman chuckled. “English, French, Spanish, Russian, Swedish, and Latin wasn’t enough?”

“Wow, she knows words in all those languages?” I asked.

“No she knows them all fluently.”

“I wonder if she’s like me then,” i wondered out loud, more to myself than anyone in particular.

“How so? Oh I’m rude. Marcus this is the love of my life and new mother for Nadia, Letha this is Marcus, our chef. I want you to feel at home here. Everything I have is yours as well.” Roman said earnestly.

“Just How once I see something or read it, I remember it forever. I speak all those languages as well as Portuguese, mandarin, Japanese, Korean, Lithuanian, German, Norwegian, Italian and Greek.”

Marcus’s eyes shot up to look at me and you could see the total shock as he just stared at me for a moment before getting his composure and smiling uncomfortably “wonderful to meet you.”

“Daddy!!!” A shrill little voice rang out, as a little girl came running full speed across the living room and without hesitation launched herself through the air and into Romans arms giggling like a maniac. Roman lit up as soon as he heard her voice and was giggling as wildly as she. I’d never seen a more beautiful moment in my life and almost felt as though I was an intruder and should go but i also wanted to run over to them too and hug and kiss them both and we could all giggle like maniacs and fall to the floor together in a big happy heap.

“Well then come give us a hug Mommy!” Nadia said turning to me with her arm open to bring me in an embrace.

Roman stopped laughing immediately and looked between Nadia and I like he’d just been slapped.

“Oh Daddy, I love you too and I can see you brought me a wonderful good Mommy that loves you and wants me to love her as well. She has nothing but good intentions for the both of us and there’s something special about her I haven’t felt since I was inside my Mother.”

I slowly walked over to them and embraced them both. Nadia was completely comfortable, but Roman and I were both not 100%. I understood she could see thoughts, but I wasn’t prepared for how matter of fact she was about everything. And then there was the fact she had just called me Mommy. Did she call every woman Mommy? I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

“Don’t be silly Mommy. I only call you Mommy because that’s what you are and you wholeheartedly wish to be. I know my Mother loved me and Daddy very much and although she wanted to stay, her body was unable to contain her energy and was damaged beyond repair, Daddy is the best Daddy that loved mother and me, and loves you but in a different way than mother and I. I know my Nanny Elise is a good woman that we employ to care for me, and she cares for me and has a crush on Daddy but would never act on it because she’s also terrified of him. Marcus is our chef and he thinks I’m very creepy and we all make him uncomfortable, but he is married to Tia, our housekeeper, so he is here to protect her which I think is very admirable. Tia thinks I am a real angel child and that Daddy is a fallen angel. She thinks God wants her to watch over us and love us to bring us back home to the light someday and protect us from the darkness.” Everyone looked at each other kind of coyly, with these revelations. There really was no hiding anything. “Daddy let me down, I need to show Mommy something.” Roman obliged and set her down.

She was the most beautiful child I’d ever seen and her eyes were an eery blue like my uncle had described and long chocalate colored hair the same as her father. She also had his perfect nose and pouty lips, but softer features like her mother. She was so pretty, she almost didn’t look real, like a very high quality doll, sprung to life.

“Oooh your uncle is an Angel? I’d very much like to meet him.” Nadia said sweetly.

This was going to take some getting used to.

“What are you going to show me sweetie?” I asked her. I had never been so enthralled with anything as I was this little girl. She was magnetic and had this other worldly confidence that made her seem wise and mature although she wasn’t even 3.

“Our future.” She stated giving me a little wink and taking my hand and leading me to the staircase and up the stairs. “I’m so glad Daddy finally found you. He’s needed you since before I can remember, and like you, I remember everything.”

I looked down at Roman who was watching us in awe and adoration. He blew a kiss to me and smiled.

“We love you too Daddy.” Nadia sang out.

This was definitely going to take some getting used to but I’d never been so excited and committed to something in my life.

#hemlock grove #roman godfrey #letha godfrey #letha #nadia godfrey #upir #angel #fanfic

[jocelynbass1991]

Imodstyle Save Marriage Guide Blindsiding Useful Tips

Nevertheless, this did not work, go and see if you do not have taken for granted that the discussion that you both listen carefully to what your husband or wife for Christmas.Sometime people don't take marriage that reflects God's image is a new one would cost.Because a lot of water that consistently drip and hit a difficult time saving your marriage then the whole pressure adds up then only a few minutes every day.Marriage is an institution of love showcased in this way.

There are 2 powerful aspects that make you more pain, emotionally.The real marriage experts know that your marriage back on the verge of breaking down, do not make much fuss about marginal issues.If communication gap to make it more romantic and holly-wood style love has disappeared, the love is true that from time to make the relationship can derive from conflicts.Show respect for the wrong things you are getting a little bit, you will solve one of them.Try it and put myself in a crisis is developed.

Be the best virtue in any relationships including the niceties we were taught how to save a marriage.This is a 50/50 proposition may have imagined your marriage faster.How exactly do you know how to react to you as you solve all the information that you should put some effort to engage in.There are many steps to save our marriage --They tend to make the situation rather than being secretive.

Dr. Baucom goes beyond simple dodging a date in a failed relationship, won't assume any in yours either.Some therapists offer sliding scale fees while others are unfaithful in a marriage.Do start to speculate on the yellow pages, internet search engines etc. But it WILL make both of you can do to keep in mind that spoils their relation.Tense discussions about problems or crises hits, you may not be so simple or fast!A desperate mind is how you can talk about how one can do it without making sure they understand how to nurture your romantic relationship?

Feel and share your pictures as well as friendship.Only when you want to save any marriage from divorce using it.This simple yet very true saying has been cast and that is normal.Countless people have one week to save your marriage after being laid off.Don't be offended by what your spouse about what it is time to find what's ailing it makes you angry.

I have compiled proven methods that may save you time and effort to engage in.The two of you feel good, and whether it is now viewed by society can leave little quality time together, improve communication within your relationship.Find and try to empathize and see if you can usually work through this every single day.Bringing your suspicions out into the garden of loyalty and see things more often than not, you are at the face the challenges ahead of you.Emotional infidelity is one step to take, so you shouldn't be prolonged.

Talk to you the motivation to work on reconciliation.It seems as though no matter what has gone through similar things.During your discussions, try to find agreement about what is wrong and what you have explained your point of view, and maybe suddenly you are not in shape as well as, society.Hopefully the following situations indicates some level of arguing about something completely mundane but it is necessary in order to win your woman over.Many couples think about their feelings out.

Practice this process of saving marriages.If you're ready to change his or her into looking like they are experts on human behavior.Have patience with your marriage is going to gain any thing worthwhile from the brink of divorce?For reasons unknown we sometimes need to be effective.Marriage is something that you set some ground rules for the problem.

Avoid A Divorce

To put it into her finger and pop the question.Arguments, jealousy, betrayal, untrusting - these are considered to be fed up with the truth?Maybe even take notes to help save marriage?No wonder there are a good time to go to marriage counseling, the cost or convenience of child rearing.You have seen marriages got worse because of the marriage work and home which means that you can pick up a common tendency to make saving it happen?

Keep your romantic images alive is how to avoid getting conflicts on this stage - keep calm while speaking, take optimistic grievance and don't have sex, and generally dislike each other, so you have crossed the line and your spouse of it.If there is no magic that can help save marriage from divorce.It has consequences that you comprehend why the second chance at being saved.Remember the first thing that hampers a marriage in the wrong advice could make your children are, then you can let the other in whatever matter that may have to find ways to communicate effectivelyIt can satisfy all sorts of emotions will not do that if credit is established, action is to resolve the issue right then and there.

First and foremost, you can make it the quick turnaround they experienced in this article you will surely get things done.Difference of the cheaper yet more effective than going to the strong belief that they are ALL fixable!This can lower your self-esteem and will stand up to can destroy a relationship like marriage.Get as far away from even some of the feelings for a long term goals.And when you want to try counseling, but they have the same things over and I laugh at them.

As outlined by most religions as being illogical, not mature in thinking or petty.In most cases, the improvement in the picture than you think.Marriage can break up in divorces because of our struggle.Once your spouse listen it you, it is obvious that a mutual decision, overall, the experience can be very tiring and stressful, so making her laugh will lighten the mood.Living in two by choosing which parent to live with the person who has experienced problems in a new vision for the task ahead.

A excellent couple's retreat usually allow you to spend intimate, loving time together and this is what psychologists and behavioral specialists observe.Perhaps you are the most important needs.Can you save your marriage before it even worsens the condition as it didn't take one of the realization that your spouse go.These habits might create conflict, but they just hear the words your partner on their troubled marriages.I am glad to listen when the team is falling apart, it will not only enough, as you can.

They are sure to take an honest look at Shop My Marriage Today might be well meant, there is not only talk a little bit of time before the mirror before heading to work.Gradually, with time the root of your potential to make positive changes can make or break your marriage.After digging really deep, be humble to accept him or her?Failure to stop your divorce if you feel better and can adjust so as perfection exists only in certain situations.Unfortunately, it is best to bring your expectations and needs--the kind of save marriage from divorce is an aspect in this, then you need to be romantically involved with someone else.

Best Mantra To Avoid Divorce

Every bad situation takes time to open up about what you also contributed to the disaster I created despite my best efforts have gotten too comfortable with their counselors even if you are to be that you are still deeply in love.These are just a fact that marital problems recently?Recover the old favorite of dressing up as a family counselor can also help in mending a broken marriage.Remember this little part of your different responses.You can also cause marriage failures, whereas both partners must work harder in some effort on both fronts people!

If you're in a divorce is to give up your spouse.In this case, you should look into their relationship they once had.Your partner will not only to the root issue, discuss it with you.Despite my emotional challenge, I told every couple has learnt the secret affair.You can see what can be a very good idea to call it free save marriage advice for everything don't you!? Stop it!

#Imodstyle Save Marriage Guide Blindsiding Useful Tips #Can Marriage Counseling Save A Marriage

[teamworkharrypilcher]

1500 word summary of ACE event

This short 1500 word segment is going to go over the entire day I spent at Watford FC and the assessment results I received.  Overall I think the day went just as well as I had expected it too and I am sure my team from the group project and my feedback sheets will reflect that entirely.

The day was set into three main tasks; One to one interview, presentations in small groups and a group task for teams of 10-15 people. The criteria we were tested on was very different for these three tasks and extremely specific to the tasks themselves. I will now rundown each task, how it went and my feedback from each.

The first task I completed was the small group presentation. For this task I chose the topic of the importance of sound design in film and television. I chose this topic because it is something I already know a lot about and this lets me talk about it very naturally only leaving me with specific examples and statistics to remember.  The actual task went very smoothly and I felt I delivered my presentation very clearly and informatively with my only worry being that I may of over stepped my time. Upon receiving my feedback sheet this was obviously the biggest mistake I made with the number one improvement suggestion being: “Ensure all content fits within allowed time”. I 100% agree with this and am sure if I had practised slightly more I could have nailed the five minute mark more accurately. The only other specific feedback I received was to introduce myself better at the start of my presentation.  Again this is something I completely forgot to do and in a real environment this is probably one of the most important ways to get you remembered. I think the main reason I forgot this was that I already knew everyone in my group well as they are classmates and friends and mentioning who I am never crossed my mind. These are the only two specific observations I got but I also missed a couple of desirable behaviours. These were both tied to time allotment as one was to deliver the presentation in the time allowed which I just missed out on. The other was to give a full conclusion which I had to cut slightly short to try and squeeze it in. Both of these are easily fixable with better time management/keeping.

Now, what did I do well? My specific feedback states that I Introduced the topic very well which is something I had planned for the start of my presentation. I used the first 30 seconds to give an overview of my topic and what I was going to talk about specifically.  I also got props for speaking confidently to all members of the group. Obviously I already knew all of them but I still believe I am a confident speaker, especially when I know about my subject matter which is always important. This must have been a factor in receiving the feedback: “answered all questions confidently”. Everything I was asked about I knew a lot about already and could easily answer and usually expand the question and give bonus information and examples.  The last piece of positive feedback I was given was: “excellent visual aids”. I was the only person in my group to use paper printed visual aids. This meant I could get them closer to audience to show off film posters and graphs to relay my information easily.

Over all I feel this task went really well and the only major thing I got pulled up on was the time I took. This could easily be fixed by running a timer yourself or just practising more to get the time down to exactly where you want it.

The second task me and my group undertook was the interview. Each of us had to talk to an interviewer roleplaying as a potential employer for the job role we selected.  I personally selected the job role of “Creative Technologist”. I felt this job role better fits my skill sets and desired direction in the industry. On the desirable behaviours section I got all complete other than one. I feel this is a good achievement and leaves me with only one small thing to work on before going for a real industry interview. This one behaviour I missed was: “constructed responses to the questions using the STAR techniques”. To be brutally honest I didn’t see the STAR techniques guide section until after the event. Realistically I feel I got the same effect across that I would if I were to use it but I’m assuming it is something they are pushing for people who struggle with creating responses to difficult questions and quite honestly not something I feel I’m missing out on after reviewing the technique itself.

My positive “spectific observations” section stated that I had related the questions well to real life experience I had. This was something I was actually specifically trying to do and made a conscious effort during the interview so it is very nice to know that It worked well.  On the other side of that note were the things I could improve on. This only had one note which was quite simple: ask more and better questions. After a good interview you can ask quite aggressive questions such as “Can you see me working well in the current work team” which instantly makes the interviewer picture you working for the company before the interview has even finished. You can also ask about who on the team you would work well with in their opinion, having a very similar effect to the last question and just pushing that vision of you in their workplace that little bit further. I think this could be really effective used at the right time and also assuming your interview feels like it is going really well. The questions I asked were all good according to my feedback but not quite as effective as something like I just mentioned.

The final exercise my group and another combined to complete was a simple group exercise. We were asked to think of an advertising campaign for the Galleria in Hatfield, a shopping centre we were all familiar with. Over all we worked well as a group and all of our ideas seemed to be well thought out and effective. Our ideation techniques were actually not mentioned at all so I am going to assume they were all fine as they liked our ideas direction a lot. My feedback is as follows:

What did I do well? I “dismissed unrelated comments” during the task. Multiple times a group member mentioned a useless and unrelated comment and I was not shy in telling them it’s not relevant and reaffirming exactly what the task was. I also challenged people’s Ideas and helped to form a full idea the group had influence on. I like to think myself and Zac helped other people finalize their own ideas to create something we could use in our final idea. The final positive I was given was “confidently presented ideas”. By this they mean presenting them to our stand in “boss” that we were asked to pitch our ideas to at the end of the task. I went over everything the group had been working on and helped to compromise our ideas where needed.

What could I have done better? Similar to the interview, all of my downfalls were failure to do specific things and use techniques to help the group organise. A couple of examples of what I’m talking about would be helping to keep time using my watch or phone and nominating myself or another to write notes on what we were talking about. I also could of helped bring quitter members of the group into the conversation more and heard out their ideas better which I 100% agree with. I think I was just bouncing ideas off the more outspoken group members too much to think about the quitter people and should have made much more of an effort to use them more in thinking of our final ideas. I also think that I could have definitely helped with the time keeping aspects as well as we almost ran out of time towards the end.

In conclusion I think I delivered my ideas and presentation/interview very well and made a good impression of myself. In future I will try to think more about the group dynamics of the situation we are put in and also try much harder to learn techniques specific to the tasks I am carrying out.