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akatsukibandhscenarios · 6 years

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44. When It's Their Birthday

Itachi It was June 9th, Itachi’s birthday. The whole Akatsuki celebrated and threw a party for the Uchiha. He didn’t seem to care really. Once the dango and other food were gone, it was time for presents. Most of the Akatsuki got him pointless cheap things and some got him nothing at all. Itachi still looked so sad and depressed. He looked at you with hopeful eyes. He hoped you’d make the day worthwhile. “Here Itachi.” You handed him a slip of paper. He looked at it questioningly. “It’s a coupon for free dango for life.” You explained. Everyone watched as Itachi's eyes widened. He looked at the paper and actually smiled. You heard gasps and the sound of Konan fainting. “Happy birthday ‘tachi.” You smiled at him. “Thank you _____.” Itachi stood up and hugged you tightly. “That was the best present.” “You’re welcome.” You and Itachi kissed and held each other. Everyone in the room was even more in shock. You and Itachi couldn’t be happier. Kisame It was March 18th, Kisame's birthday. He seemed enthusiastic about it. The Akatsuki threw a big party. Everyone ate shrimp, crab and cake. When it was time for presents, everyone got him something. Most was things Kisame already had or didn’t want. There was one that confused Kisame. Itachi got him shark food. Kisame questioned it, but Itachi wouldn’t explain. “Come on Kisa. It’s time for your final present.” You told your confused boyfriend. You led Kisame to the pool are. Itachi was following close behind with the shark food. “Happy birthday Kisa.” You said happily. Itachi threw some food towards the water but seconds before it touched the water, a baby shark leapt out to eat the food. “You got me a baby shark?” Kisame gasped before pulling you in for a bear…well shark hug. “This is awesome. I shall name him Sam.” “Sam the shark?” You giggled. It seemed like he was happy about his gift. You just hoped he wouldn’t feed anyone to it. Pein It was September 19th, Nagato’s birthday. Since Pein had been working so much, he forgot it was his birthday. He only remembered when he entered the living room. A surprise party was there waiting for him. After cake and grilled fish, everyone got ready to give Pein his one and only present. “Happy birthday Pein!” You and Konan said together. You handed him a piece of paper. “What is this?” He asked, confused. You and Konan smiled at him. “It’s a vacation to a nice place.” Konan explained. “You and I are both going away for a whole week!” You exclaimed happily. “Away from work, for a whole week?” Pein asked, just to make sure he heard right. “Yup.” You were then hugged by Pein. “Thank you so very much.” Pein pulled away and looked at you hopefully. “When can we leave?” “Now if you want.” Pein then dragged you from the party and headed for his vacation. Pein seemed happy with his gift and you might have even seen him smile. Hidan It was April 2nd, Hidan’s birthday. He loved the attention he was getting. There was a party, cake and spare ribs. He got simple things from the other members. He was disappointed every time he saw his gift. Before his birthday he made it clear he wanted a new Jashin pendant. It seemed like he was never going to get it. “Here Hidan.” You handed him a little box. He sighed and opened it. “You got me a new Jashin pendant?” Hidan’s normal mood fully came back. He jumped up and hugged you. “Thanks bit- I mean thanks _____!” He held you tightly. It was nearly bone crushing. “Hidan you’re killing me.” You choked out. He released you and put his necklace on. “Don’t lose this one. I don’t need to hear your bitching again.” Kakuzu said, in his usual harsh tone. “Shut up Kakuzu!” Hidan yelled. You smiled as the two bickered. It seems like Hidan was happy enough. You did hope he wouldn’t lose the necklace again; it was hard to get a replacement. Kakuzu It was August 15th, Kakuzu’s birthday. He didn’t want a party, since he’s gone through so many before. He was feeling down too, because he hadn’t been able to get any replacement hearts lately so he was down to his own heart. After Kakuzu ate some liver and everyone else ate normal food, it was present time. He got money from most people, but then you set a medium sized cooler on the table. “Happy birthday Kakuzu!” You said loudly and happily. Everyone just stared at it. “It’s from Hidan and I. Open it Kuzu.” “Alright.” Kakuzu opened it and saw all the replacement hearts he needs. “You got me hearts?” “Yup, they are all of the chakra natures you need too.” You said with a big smile. “Thank you.” Kakuzu closed the cooler and hugged you. It was a rare display of affection around others, so you knew he was extremely thankful and maybe even a little happy. You hoped he’d tell you now how old he really was. Zetsu Zetsu didn’t have a birthday and he was very upset over it. Everyone around him was getting a party, except him. You decided that July 27th would be his birthday. You and the rest of the Akatsuki threw him a party. You all played games, ate cake and had a good time. It was finally present time. You and Zetsu left the group to go outside. Once outside Zetsu saw a pile of bodies. “What’s all this?” White Zetsu asked, sounding very excited. “Happy birthday Zetsu. All of these are for you.” You said smiling at your boyfriend. “I get to eat all these people?” The black half questioned. “As long as I’m not around to see it, yes.” “Well I suggest you go away then.” “Alright, have fun.” You rolled your eyes and left. Zetsu was happy to have so many bodies to eat. He wouldn’t be happy after you told him that you won’t kiss him until he cleaned his mouth our 10 times. Tobi It was February 10th, Obito’s birthday. Clearly Tobi decided to not lie about that. He had been bouncing around weeks before yelling about his birthday. Everyone figured Tobi would cry if he didn’t get party, so that’s what was going on. Cake, ice cream and all of Tobi’s favorite foods were eaten. “Rime for Tobi’s presents!” Tobi yelled suddenly. You rolled your eyes and gave Tobi all his presents. He opened everyone else’s first and then got to yours. He got toys and games from everyone. He hoped for something less childish from you. You handed him a bag. He quickly pulled out your gift; a mask. “It’s special.” You informed him, with a smile on your face. “What does Tobi’s new mask do?” Tobi questioned. “It changes colors, designs and shapes based on what you want.” “Really?” Tobi ran off to try it on. He seemed happy enough to have a new mask. You hoped Obito liked it as much as Tobi did. Deidara It was May 5th, Deidara’s birthday. He didn’t really want a party; he just wanted a small celebration. Everyone ate food, cake and other random things. When it was time to give Deidara his presents, you noticed no one got him anything good. You were thankful you made him a great person. When it was your turn, you led everyone outside. Everyone sat down to watch the explosion show. “Is this is?” Sasori grumbled. You rolled your eyes and told him to keep watching. ‘Happy Birthday Deidara!’ was lit up in the sky. Once that faded ‘Art is an Explosion!’ lit up the sky. “Whoa that was true art, hm!” Deidara said happily. He hugged you and smiled. “Thank you, hm!” “You also have another present, but that will be shown to you in private.” You whispered to your boyfriend. He was happy before, but now he seemed to be even happier. Today seemed like a good day. Sasori It was November 8th, Sasori’s birthday. Since he didn’t age, he didn’t think he needed a party or anything. Deidara got him a gift, but other than him, only you got Sasori anything. You and Sasori were in the room the two of you share. He was relaxing on the bed, and you were getting his gift. It was a wooden box. It was carved and looked beautiful. It was about as long as his arm and as wide as his chest. It was pretty heavy. “What is that?” Sasori asked, sitting up. “Your present.” You smiled and set it on the bed. Sasori got closer to it and opened it. Inside there were two puppets. One looked like you and one was like Sasori. They looked a little freaky since you weren’t as skilled with making puppets as Sasori is. “I made those. I know they look weird but-” “They are beautiful.” Sasori said, cutting you off. You smiled at him, thankful for his words. “Happy birthday Sasori.” You mumbled as he pulled you to him for a kiss. He seemed happy about his new puppets. He was even smiling at you.

Madara

It was the day before Christmas, December 24th and you were busy preparing all your usual traditional decorations. You were also baking cookies and other various foods. Your friends were coming over the following day and you wanted it all to be perfect. However, there was one who was clearly not in the holiday mood; Madara. He was sulking on the couch, half watching bad Christmas movies.

“Madara, what’s your problem?” You asked, pausing your decorating for a moment.

“Who cares? Tomorrow is what’s important.” His tone was bitter, alerting you to an issue and not just him being his regular bitter self.

“Tell me, please?”

“Today is my birthday.” Madara mumbled a moment later.

“I had no idea. I’m sorry. I would have celebrated it with you.” You sat on the couch with him, a sad look on your face.

“Don’t worry, it isn’t a day to celebrate.”

“Well, come on. Let’s get ready for tomorrow together. Maybe that will cheer you up.” You pulled Madara into the kitchen to help with decorating cookies. He ate a bit more than he decorated, but it succeeded in cheering him up. Overall, he was just happy to finally have a good birthday, all because of you.

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daydreamers-corner · 6 years

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naruto akatsuki turning into children crack-fic (2/5)

author’s note and warnings; akatsuki-centric. this is crack inspired by this fic. oc / outsider pov.

s-rank criminal children; chapter 2 "Yeah, me too!" Hidan seconded.

"Now that I think about it, so am I," Kisame mumbled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Kasumi sighed, but uncrossed her legs and proceeded to get up. She was yet again reminded that she was a babysitter now and that these weren't normal kids she was dealing with, no matter how much they seem like it. They're demon spawns- well, with the few exceptions. Itachi, Nagato, and Konan were sweethearts, meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, there were Hidan, Deidara, and Sasori.

"Let's go to the kitchen, then. I'll whip something up real quick," she says as she starts to walk, "What do you guys want?" She asks, though she may as well have been talking to the air for she received no response. Sensing that the girl was leaving, the children quickly moved to follow her. Zetsu, Sasori, and Kakuzu trailed after her, keeping their distance from both each other and the other kids, but careful not to fall too far behind. Konan, Nagato, and Pein were all huddled together as they walked, with the first two engaged deep in conversation and the latter making sure all three were keeping pace with Kasumi's long adult legs. Deidara had latched onto her shirt from her right side and was keeping pace with her that way, while Kisame held her left hand. Itachi quietly hovered near Kisame, which just leaves Hidan, who was in the front, swinging his scythe around carelessly and loudly talking about something or other. Nevermind that he had utterly no clue where he was going and kept glancing back to Kasumi for cues on what direction to turn.

"Your place is really big, Mimi-chan, un!" Deidara exclaimed, eyes filled with wonder as he tried to take everything in. She chuckled at the nickname and his antics, hurriedly stopping the thought of 'it's not mine' before it escaped.

"Yeah, I, uh... get that a lot?" Curse her for making it sound like a question.

"You don't seem very confident," Black Zetsu raised an eyebrow.

"No, no. It's definitely mine... ha... ha..." The girl trailed off and Itachi frowned. He was always a perceptive one, it was one of the reasons he was considered skilled and talented at his age. Luckily for her, the others were either not as perceptive (Deidara, Hidan), were invested in something else (Kakuzu, Pein, Nagato, Konan), or simply didn't care (Sasori, Zetsu, Kisame), which allowed the girl to get away with not being questioned.

Finally, after a long trek- to Sasori's chagrin- of constant chatter thanks to Hidan, the group had made it into the kitchen. It clearly didn't see much use, if the cobwebs in the corners and dust were anything to go by. Fortunately, the fridge and cabinets had actual items she could use to make a quick meal for ten kids- geez, she's never getting over that- but first, she'd have to clean the place up. If they got sick, she'd never hear the end of it.

She did the hand signs easily, her mind already accustomed to them. Breathing in deeply, she gathered air. Then she blew it all out, the wind filling the room and clearing it off the cobwebs and dust. Behind her, the children were awed.

"Woah, that was awesome! Do it again, lady!"

"I'm not a damn circus show," She retorted, ushering them inside and into seats, "Now, be good and stay here while I make some food." An order, which of course, wasn’t followed, because this is the Akatsuki we’re talking about.

The black-haired girl gathered all the ingredients she could possibly find and put them on the counter top.

Her eyes went first to the ramen noodles and she brightened. Surely making ramen wouldn’t be too hard, right? Even for a non-cook like herself? Turning around, she noticed many of the kids starting to get antsy and moving around. Ramen, it is, then.

She begins to slice and fry the chicken, concentrating hard on her work so she doesn’t mess up. Because of this, she forgets to pay attention to the miniatures and some begin to move around- probably just for the purpose of not following directions.

When Kasumi returns (triumphantly with her ten bowls of ramen) to the dining room, it looks like it exploded. Which, with the blonde bomber being in it and left alone without supervision, was entirely possible. Even as a kid- actually scratch that, because he was a kid- he was even more of a nightmare. There were kunai everywhere, stuck on the walls and on the ceiling, and really where did they even get that? Thankfully, not all of them were up and about; some actually listened to her and stayed at the table.

Kasumi found the source of the kunai to be Kakuzu (which, surprising, considering he hadn’t done anything noteworthy the entire evening), who’d gotten fed up with Hidan’s non-stop talking. The silver-haired kid, of course, took this as a challenge and began swinging at the older boy with his scythe. Deidara, excitable by nature, had wanted to join in and used his signature bombs. How did she miss all this?

The children still at the table weren’t any better. Sasori was still sat at the table, but looked to be at his last shred of patience. Kisame was watching the fight and cheering on the combatants, his mini-Samehada at the side of his chair.

Wait, nevermind that. He just joined in. Great. As if she had any sanity left to lose.

Nagato and Konan, for their part, were watching in wonder at the fight. They were being good kids, but definitely very unhelpful. Then there was Itachi, who was sitting perfectly straight in his chair and frowning at his (very) loud companions. Pein just looked on with his eyes that never seemed to blink- seriously, how was that even possible- and Zetsu was, again, talking to himself and ignoring everything happening around him.

Kasumi sighed, before raising her voice to catch all their attention, “OI!

“Get in your seats or you don’t get any!” Hidan startled and, after seeing her, all the kids who had been out of their seats quickly returned to them. The girl made quick work of passing out the food and pretty soon, it was quiet in the kitchen as they started to eat.

“It’s hot as fuck, lady!” Hidan complained loudly.

“Yeah!” Deidara raises his hand, “I want another!”

Ungrateful brats.

“It tastes fine,” Itachi mumbled, eating like the good child he was.

“You’re overreacting,” Kakuzu countered.

Then there were the angels to their demons.

"Am not! It burnt my tongue!" Hidan stuck his tongue out, "See?!"

Kasumi sighed. It's become her thing lately.

The girl is frustrated and she really wants to do is sleep right now. After Hidan's outburst, he and Kakuzu got into another fight, which sparked a war in the dining room. There was soup on the walls and the floor now too, and dear lord, how would she explain this to Tobi? As she contemplates that thought, she shoves them all out of the room while she hurriedly cleans it. If cleaning meant shoving everything in the corner of the room to be forgotten about, like how someone would shove all their things in their closet right before their mom walks in the room.

Luckily, all the children are still there by the time she deemed the room clean enough and left. It didn't mean they were quiet, however.

"Shut the fuck up.”

"Fight me, asshole!"

“Fight, fight, fight!" Deidara and Kisame started to chant. Kasumi facepalmed.

"No. No more fighting." She needs sleep and she needs it now. "I'm tired, and we're all going to go to bed now, okay?" She doesn't give them time to respond before she's saying, "Okay. Now let's go."

"What? But we were just sleeping!" A certain silver-haired brat points out.

"Well, too bad."

"I'm not very tired either, miss." The first time Nagato's spoken since the introductions earlier. Konan nods along with him, while Pein blinks for the first time. The black-haired girl rubs her temples.

"I know you might not be tired, but it's really late and I am. Just try for me?" She asks and doesn't receive any argument, so she guesses that they'll go along with it. That doesn't mean they're happy about it, though. Some are visibly disappointed that the fun has to end. She makes her way to one of the many bedrooms, which are actually quite spacious, and the kids trail after her again, surprisingly quiet. Kasumi doesn't think it's because their antics have caught up to them. They're probably planning something that she'll have to deal with later.

Just as she opens the door, the girl realizes they're all still behind her. She turns to them, raising an eyebrow. They all stare at her back. "What...? You all want to come with me?" Some nodded, some shrugged, and some just pushed their way into the room because the door was already half-open.

"Hey, wait!" Before she can do anything else, they all file into the room. She can do nothing but accept her fate as they all settle around her on the bed. Well, except for Zetsu, Kakuzu, and Sasori, but she'd expected that of them.

She's on her side on the bed with Deidara's head on her stomach. Hidan is back-to-back with her, snoring loudly. She couldn't move, even if she wanted to. Nagato and Konan are cuddled close to each other at the end of the bed on the right side. On the left, Kisame is star-fished. Itachi is on the bed, but on the outskirts, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. The girl doesn't know if he's really asleep. Pein is on the floor at the foot of the bed, awake and apparently self-appointed night watch.

On the other side of the room is Sasori. He's asleep on the couch, but when the girl strained her eyes, she could see chakra threads surrounding the area. Kasumi will have to watch out for them the next morning should she try to wake the demon spawn up.

Much less subtle is Kakuzu, who is in a corner, leaning against the wall with one leg pulled up to his chest. He's surrounded himself with a half-circle of kunai that have explosive tags attached to them.

Then finally there is Zetsu. He occupies another corner of the room, venus fly trap closed and completely silent.

The girl closed her eyes for some well-deserved sleep.

She opened her eyes and can just make out the forms of Zetsu and Sasori, who are in the same position they were in before she fell asleep. However, there is no warmth on her stomach or a weight pressing against her back. Blinking, she sits up (considering no one is stopping her now), and realizes that Kisame is no longer at the end of the bed and Itachi has also disappeared, which explained why the bed was lighter. When her eyes travel to Kakuzu's corner, she sees the kunai still there, but the boy himself is nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, boy," She whispered to herself to make sure she didn't wake up the ones who were still sleeping. "Why do they have to be like this."

She gets up and asks herself, "Where could they have gone?"

"They wanted to explore." Pein spoke from his spot on the floor and Kasumi nearly has a heart attack. She puts a hand over her mouth to make sure she doesn't wake up the still-sleeping. "Oh my god, you scared me. Don't do that!" She whisper-scolded, but the boy simply blinks at her, which reminds her of what he had said.

She sighed, "Stay here, okay?" And then tip-toes her way out of the room to find the others.

Deidara turned left, then right, then another left. He sighed as he saw that everything looked the same. Mimi-chan's home was much larger than he'd first thought. Now he's lost and he doesn't know what to do. The blonde huffed, remembering the conversation he'd had with Hidan.

The other boy had woken up sometime in the middle of the night and his shuffling had woken him up, as well as Itachi. Kakuzu had already been awake.

"Psst," He had tried to go back to sleep but Hidan had started shaking him persistently until he gave in and sat up.

"What?" He hissed, clearly cranky. He had never been a morning person, preferring to sleep in whenever he was given the chance.

"Let's go on an adventure!" The boy had suggested, his eyes lighting up.

"What?" Deidara raised an eyebrow incredulously. At this time of night? It had to be around two in the morning, right now.

Kakuzu seemed to share his thoughts. "You really are as dumb as you look," The older boy snorted. Hidan grew irritated.

"No one asked for your opinion!" He whisper-yelled, which successfully woke Kisame up.

"What's going on?" He questioned, rubbing his eyes as he, too, sat up.

"We're going on an adventure, do you want to come?" Hidan extended the invitation to the shark boy, who blinked and just went along with it.

"Okay."

"Sweet! Let's go!" Hidan and Kisame began to quietly make their way off of the bed. Deidara, never liking to be left out, began to follow them.

"You guys are stupid."

"You're just a pussy," Hidan insulted as they made their way to the door. "That's why you don't want to come. Because you're scared," He mocked.

Kakuzu's eye twitched, "No. For your information, I'm not coming because it's a bad idea. And if you had a brain bigger than a pea, you'd know that."

"Coward!" Hidan stuck his tongue out and Kakuzu got up.

"I'm not scared of you! Catch me if you can!" He provoked before running out the door, a furious Kakuzu and two confused boys following after him.

Itachi sighed before getting up and tailing them quietly. Kasumi-san didn't deserve all this trouble, so he'd try his best to prevent too much destruction from happening while she was getting her rest.

And that was how Deidara found himself in his current predicament. He had tried his best to keep up with them, but he was the youngest in the group, and had been quickly left behind. He grit his teeth, feeling the tears come.

No! He was a man! He'd find them, even if he had to make a way to them!

With that, he formed a clay sculpture and set it to explode right as it hit the wall. The walls of the base shook.

Kisame found himself in the same position as Deidara. Despite being older and also the tallest in the group, he couldn't keep up with the other two energetic boys as they raced through the compound. He'd eventually lost them at a turn, not realizing he had taken the wrong one until the voices of the other two were nowhere to be heard.

He sighed, though kept his head up. "I'll just have to find the way back myself, then."

He started walking, but was quick to notice the near-silent footsteps that followed after his. He continued to walk to confirm that there was someone there, and when they walked and stopped just as soon as he did, he whirled around to confront them.

"...!' Itachi had looked genuinely surprised at that.

"Oh, it's you," Kisame's eyes widened and he put down Samehada. "Sorry, I thought you were a bad guy."

Itachi blinked, "It's fine."

A moment of silence passes, and Kisame, never one for awkward silences, quickly filled the void.

"So... did you follow me here?"

"Not exactly. I was following all of you, but then I lost the others, so."

"Ah, I see. So now we're both lost, huh?" Kisame chuckled.

"It seems so." Itachi replied.

"Well, since you're here already, you wanna team up and get back together?"

"Sure." The black-haired boy agreed and walked up to him. Side by side, they began to discuss which way they should turn next in order to get back.

"Running shows cowardice!" Kakuzu yelled as he ran after the silver-haired boy who simply stuck his tongue out again. He growled and sped up.

"Get back here!" He yelled, then nearly tripped at the abrupt stop. Furrowing his eyebrows, he's about question the boy before he looks up and realizes that they were at a dead end. So that's why.

"Nowhere to run now," The black-haired boy snarled, preparing to litter the other boy's body with his kunai.

"Tch," Hidan frowned before smirking, "It doesn't matter, because I'll beat you!" The boy then leaps at Kakuzu, swinging his scythe and only narrowly missing Kakuzu. And that's because the other boy had dodged.

"You're better than I thought," He smirked, scythe resting on his shoulder.

"Same to you," Kakuzu acknowledged, throwing multiple kunai at Hidan, who avoided by leaping out of the way. He was getting ready to dodge another swing at his head, but they were both stopped by a rumbling, followed by the base shaking.

"What the fuck is that? That's not you, is it?" Hidan's eyes narrowed at him as they both try their best to stay standing.

"No, you idiot. If it was me, don't you think I'd be prepared for it?" He snapped, sticking a kunai into the wall and holding on to keep on his feet. Hidan was already sprawled on the floor. Figures.

Once the shaking had subsided, both boys were left panting.

"Okay, fight's over. Let's get back. For all we know, we could be getting attacked right now." They eventually agreed to a truce.

They started walking in a direction and then Hidan turned to him, "Which way is the way back again?"

Kakuzu exhaled deeply and asked god for patience.

"Oh my god, what was that?" Kasumi whispered, horrified as the ground shook. She put her hands against the wall to steady herself and waited for the ground to stop moving. During that time, Nagato and Konan had joined her outside, with Pein following behind them. Their eyes were wide.

"Are we being attacked, miss?" Nagato asked worriedly as he and the other two children clung to her legs.

"I don't know," She responded with equal worry. "Just stay close to me," She ordered as they slowly made their way through the base, suspicious of anything and everything.

After walking around, they found a large hole in the wall, rubble scattered around. Smoke and dust covered the area like mist, preventing the quartet from seeing the extent of the damage or what lay beyond. Kasumi frowned, then made the familiar hand signs that allowed her to breath in air and blow it out with incredible force, which successfully cleared the area to reveal... a certain blonde-haired kid who had been missing from the bed.

"Deidara?" She asked incredulously.

"Mimi-chan!" He shouted happily, before launching himself at the group of four. Kasumi barely caught him in time.

"Did you see that, Mimi-chan?" He asked excitedly, gesturing to the hole in the wall, "I did that!"

She wanted to yell at him for worrying her like that, but she sighed instead. He looked so happy. Clearly, even as a kid, he was this powerful with his bombs. So, instead of yelling, she opted to just scold him gently.

"Deidara-kun, we don't explode bombs in here, okay?"

He pouted, "Okay."

"But you are definitely amazing," She muttered in disbelief and the blonde brightened.

"I'm strong!" He cheered and Kasumi put him back on the ground so he could do his little victory dance. "I'm a man!"

The black-haired girl sighed. Now for the others.

She blinked, feeling a tugging at her pant leg. Looking down, she saw Konan, who pointed at something in the distance. Looking up, she saw Itachi and Kisame making their way through the hole. She stared at them with a disappointed face.

"..." Itachi looked down while Kisame smiled sheepishly.

"I know you two are good kids, so why did you leave?" She questioned gently.

"I was going to follow them and make sure they didn't cause any trouble. You needed to rest," Itachi responded, "I'm sorry."

Kasumi sighed. He was a sweet boy. Too sweet, in fact. She nodded and patted his head, smiling at him when he looked up to indicate that he was forgiven. Before she could ask Kisame to explain, two boys appeared from the other direction. Kakuzu was calmly walking toward the group of (now) seven people, while his companion ran all the way to the woman, grinning.

"I'm back, lady!" Hidan announced, not looking guilty at all, even with all the stares from the other kids.

The girl sighed in exasperation.

"..." When she looked at Kakuzu, he simply shrugged. "He was annoying me." And, knowing him, that was the best she was going to get. Rubbing a hand over her face, she questioned why this was her life.

"Alright, seeing as everyone's back," She started, mentally counting to make sure everyone was, in fact, there and in one piece, "Let's go back to bed. For real this time." She took Nagato and Konan's hands and lead the group back to the bedroom with no further explanation.

Zetsu's still in the room when they return, but his fly trap is now open and he's staring at everyone in confusion. "What did we miss?"

"Nothing," The girl groaned, walking into the room like a zombie with equally-tired kids following after her. However, due to her lack of sleep, she failed to notice Deidara walking up to the couch. The one Sasori had settled himself into and had apparently slept through all the ruckus. Her eyes widened and by the time her mouth could open to say anything, Deidara couldn't be stopped.

Sasori instantly snapped his eyes open when he felt a pull on his chakra threads and a puppet came flying out of nowhere (where the hell did he even hide that) and nearly stabbed the shocked blonde in the chest. Thankfully, the boy was disoriented from his abrupt awakening and was slow to get his puppet to actually carry out the move, which allowed for Kasumi to step in, grab the blonde, and hold him away from the puppet.

Deidara could only blink for several seconds.

Then, "What the hell, un!"

Sasori frowned, "Don't wake me up."

Meanwhile, everyone else was ignoring the near-death experience of their blonde companion and went right back to sleep. Or in Pein's case, keeping watch.

She doesn't know how much more of this she can take.

#akatsuki #stories #humor #deidara #sasori #hidan #kakuzu #kisame #itachi #zetsu #pein #konan #nagato #crack-fic #akatsuki turning into children

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