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#pathetic cringefail in real life
hypnoticmoth · 3 months
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It's 4:20am, and i can't sleep because my brain is too hyped by the finale and no one i know watches the show, so i am screaming in a void AAAAA
It also just make me want a RP friend to share stories and hcs with hhhhhhhh
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wraithsoutlaws · 7 months
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every time i post zephyr, in my mind im like "oh boy you're gonna flop" because idk he usually does but the fact that he flops is *so* zephyr, its so meta it makes me laugh so hard
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ROUND 3 MATCH 32
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Mammon propaganda:
“He was done dirty in the first round, I hope he wins this time because he deserves it 
First of all, he hates you at the start but then he starts to like you but he exclaimed his hate too much at the start so he can't admit it 
Everyone knows that he likes MC, even his little D (who are demons familiars) thinks that they should date 
He is a classic tsundere but doesn't actually hurt you like other tsunderes but he is so bad at hiding his feelings that everyone is just ignores it 
He is the avatar of greed, meaning he is clingy which may be a turn away for some people but he cares for you so so much 
He has never turned into his demon form to hurt you (Asmo hasn't but he has tried to seduce you with his power)
Don't get me started on his story cards, he literally is so cute
He wants to be a mentor to Luke, like Lucifer was to him, he is only mean to Luke because he wants Luke to learn about how life isn't all sunshine and rainbows
He is also so hot, he is a bisexual panic 
He is bullied by his brothers but he cares for them so so much despite their bullying
I am so in love with him and have written so many fics about him 
Anyway, I'm going to stop here because otherwise I'll be here all day”
“First friend, first pact, practically the MC's first everything, he is a major Tsundere, he holds my heart hostage, I just want to smooch him, he and MC share a room, he is such a cute little bab, he does bully Luke (a child) but it's revealed that he just wants to show Luke that the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows and want help him figure things out
He is the cutest little guy, he cares for his brother 
His sin is greed so he does steal things from people but since lesson 1 he hasn't stolen anything from MC 
He wrote a song to propose 
Sure he is clingy but in a good way
He is so cute 
He adopted a child, which he had to leave in the care of witches and willingly let's the witches extort him 
There is so much that I can say about him but 1. Spoilers and 2. I don't think you want to read that much”
“OKAY SO. OH MY GOD. 
First person we're able to properly romance in game. AND FOR GOOD REASON. He's had MCs back from the beginning, hes the one real one in the game. He's always trying to protect us and its so nice. Puppy boy. He's so me as well??? Like he's such a doting boyfriend it's literally so cute. When MC had to go back up to Earth, he kept breaking the rotating schedule in order to call us more. He always gets MC gifts (avatar of greed love language being gift giving im gonna collapse) and he just drops the most romantic lines out of nowhere??? Like sir are you trying to give me a heart attack. He's the secretly traumatized comic relief. He has ADHD. He's canonically queer (MC doesnt have a set gender). He even likes Head pats. Vote Mammon.”
“HE'S SO PATHETIC AND CRINGEFAIL. I LOVE HIM��
Jaehee propaganda:
“only female love interest in MM, not included in the first round for SOME REASON, you literally go off and live your coffee shop au with her at the end of her route.”
“My lesbian wife. Open a bakery with her after convincing her that she doesn't have to give up her happiness to make money. She can pursue her passions. Also her backstory is so sad and I just wanna hug and kiss her and throw hands at her "family" for making her feel like she does. Also the Valentine's dlc, you get locked in the back of the bakery with her and... Yeah that's my wife. I love her dearly. Also can we just acknowledge that she's like the only path that involves almost none of the dramatic death defying nonsense. You're just gay and in love and it's beautiful”
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Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Finals
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Propaganda
Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):
#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show
Young hot rocker dilf
Loyal to his dead wife <3
Does in fact smoke weed
BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)
His band was a Christmas cover band btw.
Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy
Anti government (ofc)
Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)
Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??
Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch
One incredibly buff arm
Has a pet rat named after his son <3
Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged
OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE
HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON
A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)
HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS
IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED
Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence
Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!
I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.
Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so
HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.
Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP
Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.
I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.
vote Glenn I am asking with the biggest saddest eyes possible 🥺🥺🥺 he is so sexy it's pathetic and also so pathetic it's sexy, no I can not possibly adequately elaborate just trust me
Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.
Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.
Gable (Campaign: Skyjacks):
7ft tall silver-haired thembo of a fallen angel. was the literal sword of god until they killed him! reasons slightly unclear but probably sure to forbidden queer love! super caring for their friends. has one friend they have known for hundreds of years who they HATE but are bound to by the red string of fate. their sword is a part of them, they can sheathe it into a tattoo. they start out indistinct at the edges but as they have continued on through the campaign they have become more and more distinct. they became a flaming engine of justice to kill their friends shitheaded older brother who was following him. they have learned enough necromancy to allow other fallen angels to die, even though they typically cannot. they fly giant birds in to battle.
7ft tall beefcake wielding a sword as tall as they are. vengeful sweetheart
Imagine now: a fallen angel with beautiful gray hair and very big muscles. Now imagine them with a 9 ft sword. Now imagine them as a helmsperson of a pirate ship in a flowy deep-v pirate shirt. Now imagine they're dumb as a fucking rock. And finally, imagine that they killed god. Here, you have made Gable Skyjacks: sexiest podcast character of all time.
7ft tall nonbinary/genderfluid thembo fallen angel sky pirate who wields a buster sword. silvergrey hair with black/gold streaks as they regain feathers/memories of before their fall. back is covered in tattoos that hide the scars of their shredded off wings. killed God. toxic exes with lucifer. they are the keeper of several giant war birds who occasionally crave human flesh. they enjoy getting rowdy/smoking rope with their boys. they collect rocks that they think are neat. When anyone admits they are attracted to them, Gable trips over their words and absolutely swaglessly ends up sounding stupider and sexier by the end of the conversation; the will they/won't they and teasing they dish out to these (un?)lucky few is palpable. Sometimes the buster sword is on fire. They are immortal, they are cringe, they are trying to atone because they believe they are the reason the world is ruined.
Okay so aside from all of the above (giant with a matching giant flaming sword, killed god, extreme dumbass), here's some more propaganda for Gable the Godkiller.
They've escaped death multiple times with their partner in... crime? Like literally they were about to be executed in the most brutal way possible and just. Escaped and killed all their captors in the snowy wastelands.
They are the helmsperson of the Uhuru and take this job very seriously and definitely haven't left it to Bowser (you know, like from Mario) multiple times. Can steer that flying ship in horrible weather and still make it to port safely.
Healed an entire fucking hospital by cutting their hair for someone they had the hots for who was also in the hospital. Imagine being on that level of myth making in some random port city because of a hair cut.
Giant bird caretaker and also took the giant birds out on their friend's bachelor party (this was like. his Xth polyamorous marriage at this point btw) and had a fucking blast getting high on some rope and fucking around. They've also flown these birds into combat and looked cool as hell doing it (see: killing their friend's shithead of an older brother in a joust).
Had a relationship with Lucifer the Morning Star before they fell as an angel and killed God. Literally the reason the stars fell was their love for each other. The world would not look the same without Gable and they are, at the very least indirectly responsible for the creation of the Church of the Slain God and everything it represents (fantasy Catholicism).
And also yeah they are regularly tripping over themself and saying very silly things. 10/10 character we love Liz Anderson and Gable in this house
I am seeing people say that this Nicky fellow is basically trans! That's very cool! Gable is actually trans. Pronouns they/them/any presentation whatever they feel like.
Gable held a bachelor party for a BFF where the attendees hunted from their sky birds, wore dresses, and still managed to keep their eyeliner on point!
Gable killed God because he wouldn't let them be queer. They should rightfully crush anyone in their path.
We are finally going up against a character I know. I can confidently say all sexy moments with Gable are much sexier than TAZ's largely off-screen romances. Mod Note: This was written during the poll versus Killian Fangbattle.
But seriously. Listen to Gable's most recent introduction. Unparalleled sexy thembo introduction! Context: The Captain's Council is at a magical tattoo/piercing parlor (which has a lengthy form and disclosure process), trying to stay below the radar, and the Captain and Jonnit are pretending to be father/son to keep up the ruse. And to let Jonnit get a tattoo, since he's technically sort of underage. Bonus: Gable's decision at the tattoo/piercing parlor and noping out of Orimar and Jonnit's acting. (You should check out the full episode! Episode 197 starts a new arc and a good point to step into the series!)
Nicky Close (Dungeons & Daddies):
One armed half-demon man with a sword (also a Dedicated, Involved, Loving Father). (Specifically campaign 2, where he is an adult)
Transmasc bisexual (or at least so widely accepted as such it's basically canon) dilf half-demon let's start with the basics
And by half-demon I mean the literal prince of Hell
But also simultaneously is Saint Nicolas get you a man who can do both specifically this man
Missing an arm cause his ex-friends tragically betrayed him and shot it off but he doesn't need two arms to show you a good time wink wink ;)
The betrayal in question forced him to be seperated from his also hot milf voice actress wife and their son which is sad but in like a way that makes him sexier
Uses his one hand to wield a flaming katana that he used to rescue his son from the FBI
Protects his family with his life very literally which is hot as hell
Big himbo energy couldn't come up with a good plan if he used 100% of his brain
When he does fail at things it's pretty cute honestly
Definitely played a variety of musical instruments before the whole arm thing happened! Maybe he still does idk he's a sexy mystery
2 in 1 deal! This man was born from the merging of two timelines! Kinda sick!!! Also two dads = twice the daddy issues
You'd think the whole being forcibly split from his family thing would mean he isn't very close with his son but nope! His son adores him! They get along great!!!
His mom is simultaneously alive and dead
His mom bagged fucking two different dudes (one of whom FOUND HER DEAD in a different timeline, both of which are demons)
HIS MOMS NAME IS MORGAN FREEMAN, HIS DAD’S NAME IS GLENN CLOSE, AND HIS OTHER DAD’S NAME IS JODIE FOSTER, AND HIS GREAT SOMETHING GRANDFATHER’S NAME IS MERYL STREEP
HIS SONS NAME IS TAYLOR SWIFT
Lifelong pot smoker 👍 (plus drug flower user!!)
CANONICALLY BOTH A POLO WEARER (and yes, has all the stereotypes of that attached with it — a nerd, which is hot) AND A LEATHER JACKET WEARER (which also has all the stereotypes attached with it — a rebel dude person, which is also hot) [<- all widely accepted as canon by the fandom even as he’s older]
A part of the SECOND BIGGEST ship of season two, (Nark) despite the two characters only having one-two canon interactions (one of which JUST happened last episode)
Man’s a himbo what’s hotter than that
So many fucking names. You try to tag him in anything and he takes up half the space. That’s probably hot. For someone out there
This was already mentioned but so very very trans. Like. It’s basically canon
Rock and roll(er)
Joined a group of thieves called the watermice when he was like 13
for a few minutes had a guitar called the Battle Axe of Hatred
definitely had an frienimies with benefits relationship with his childhood friend Lark (sorry ppl that don’t ship nark lol) (it’s canon after ep 44 hah)
Nicky also acts like his sons Pokémon! Taylor tells his dad to do things, and Nicky does it without thinking about anything else he could do!
I feel like the audio of the entire Nick-breaking-into-the-FBI scene should be propaganda, but I'm copying select bits from the transcript:
Anthony: Yeah, it kind of echoes up through the vent, like the beginning of Metal Gear Solid. You hear a voice that strikes you as ever so slightly familiar, Taylor. Saying—  ??: [a deep voice] [echoing in the vent] Where is he?  Anthony: You hear—  Will: Uh-oh, he’s hot.  Anthony: —a bunch of shouting voices.  [giggles]  Beth: Uh-oh! Anthony: You hear a bunch of shouting voices and people shouting for him to get down on the ground to turn off his flame. To fucking get his hands behind his back. You hear this rhythmic stepping forward— because his footsteps don't sound like anybody else's because it's almost like… y’know when you toss a little bit of water onto a really hot pan and it just sizzles like that? It's like every footstep he's taking, you can hear that— Freddie: Cool  Anthony: — and you can feel some of that heat coming up in this vent, even though you can't see him at this point. And he goes—  ??: [echoing] Where. Is. My. Boy? Anthony: You hear the FBI agent—the FBI in quotation marks agent—in the back going like—  Agent: [echoing] He's safe for now. If you want to go ahead and make sure that he stays that way, you feel free to go ahead and step inside the suite that we've prepared for you, my boy. Anthony: And you hear the hot guy voice saying—  [chuckles]  The Hot Guy: [echoing] I don't think that's going to happen.
...
[a powerful rush of air builds] Anthony: You hear—  [gunfire, and the air rush culminates in a burst of flame; from underneath the fire, metal music starts playing] Anthony: —plumes of flame exploding.  [a person’s pained shout, gunfire and bursts of flame continue]  Anthony: You can feel the heat radiating through this metal vent and it's actually beginning to hurt and burn your hands.
...
Anthony: And you hear blood—  [sizzling]  Anthony: —hitting the fucking ground and you hear sizzling and things boiling and burning. Taylor: That could just be coffee! That could just be coffee. Link, let's go. Anthony: And you are getting closer and closer to the elevator. And you hear that same hot voice say—  The Hot Guy: [echoing] Where the hell is Taylor?
Gable and Nicky Together:
We are on a joint ticket now! This is a truly unbeatable combo. Not even god can nerf it because Gable killed him. Vote for us. Nicky Close will watch your stuff and play with your cats while Gable gives you the night of your life.
Gable and Nicky can literally be yuor angle or ur bevil.
Art of Gable and Nicky from @slightlyhopefulromantic.
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CALLING ALL CRINGEFAIL LOSER ENJOYERS
Is your fave pathetic? Are they cringe? Do they take nonstop Ls? Are you willing to die on the hill of loving them in all their pathetic cringy fail glory? Perfect!! Then submit them here for the chance of them being crowned as cringefail loser of tumblr!!
i hope nobody has done this yet if they have then lets pretend this didnt happen lmao
Rules!
No real life people! Characters from live action shows and movies are fine
No MCYT or Harry Potter characters (JK Rowling is a dickhead and no MCYT bc i really dont want drama please respect that)
Propaganda is absolutely encouraged!! I'll figure out a tag for it later (suggestions are much appreciated) just @ me and it will be reblogged!!
You can submit multiple entries but only one entry per character. Different characters from the same media may be submitted.
I will try to be able to filter through and get this up and running in a timely manner but I am one person and I am also a university student! I've also never run something like this before lmao
Don't be an asshole please this is literally just a fun poll!
This poll was inspired by:
@autismswagsummit @mad-scientist-showdown @siblingtournament @epicdivorcemantournament @tboyswagcompetition @teenagemutantninjaturtleshowdown @he-would-not-fucking-say-that
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squivulous · 8 months
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My Podcast Masterlist
I have a long commute, giving me two hours a day to listen to podcasts. Here is my documentation of all the audio dramas I’ve consumed plus a little blurb. I just wanted to organize them in a list and also (selfishly) get recommendations if anyone would be so kind. Or maybe you’ll see something that’ll interest you. Enjoy!
Podcasts I’m Caught Up With
The Penumbra Podcast: I’ve made an animatic for this one. I’m down bad. This is the one that sucked me into this podcast world.
Malevolent: Arthur dating sim when??? Everyone wants him. Also it took me way too long to find out it was an actual play podcast.
Red Valley: Gordon fan all the way. Normally I do like the Sad Boy but Gordon is that type of dorky that makes me want to protect him.
Caravan: Interesting world and love a main character that makes questionable decisions. Everything is going to be fine :)
WOE.BEGONE: I’m obsessed. It happened slowly but now I think about it every day… And the music is so good! Mike Walters is cringefail, bbygurl, easy to manipulate, and saws his left arm off at the shoulder.
The Cellar Letters: Legit gets me spooked at times. Steve and Nate are good vibes. I’m sure glad nothing ever happens to them.
Harbor: Love that Sam being a malewife ruined his life.
Rifted: Aurora, another Sad Boy to add to my collection. Daniel should give him a kiss to make him feel better.
Heroics: Pls come back some day… I need more Josh. He’s in his slay era.
Second Fiddles: Max is owning being a bbygurl. Also there are a lot of poop jokes which is weird but I’ll look past it.
Hand in Glove: idk anything about baseball but these baseball players are smoochinggg.
Find Us Alive: Lancaster in booty jorts. It's canon. Don't look it up. I'm right. ALSO HE NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM PLS.
The Kingmaker Histories: The kiss is still the subject of much historical debate. Eisen <3
The Viridian Wild: It hasn’t been updated since 2021 but I still have hope.
Dos: After You: Ghosting GONE WRONG
Brimstone Valley Mall: SEASON TWO IS COMING. 90’s mall setting is really fun and I’m here for the thing Asmoraius and Trent have going on.
Levian: It starts off with a bang! Well not quite since his sister walks in oops. Excited to see where this pirate tale takes us.
Midnight Burger: Each episode is a delight and as someone who is bad at science, I appreciate Gloria and Caspar. Caspar pls stay forever and also Brodie <3
Return Home: I’m really listening to it for Buddy and DW.
Raythe Reign: Sometimes you need a yaoi.
The White Vault: At this point, I know what I’m getting into and yet still decide to get attached to these characters
The Amelia Project: Please don’t hurt the Interviewer! He’s too goofy for all this drama. I’m scared!
Fawx & Stallion: James Stallion being canonically hot in any situation is such a win
Victoriocity: Inspector Fleet has had a long week and needs some days off
Yokai Detective Agency: I’m always a sucker for detective stories and I’m looking forward to where this one is going
Desert Skies: Charming characters and love that the plot has a nice pace, not dragging things out
The Grotto: the music is so good but also please help. The emotional turmoil is torrential.
Camlann: Yo…. Dai, for real???
Podcasts I’ve Completed
Dash: This might not be completed? This is actually the first audio drama I finished. Classic noir but supernatural and boys are smooching!
The Two Princes: This was wholesome and had good vibes. I prefer the first season but it was still a fun time.
The Magnus Archives: Arrived late to the party on this one, but I love all the fanart. Awakened my interest in pathetic men.
EOS 10: I also am not 100% sure this is done but I enjoyed the shenanigans!
Wolf 359: Eiffel, my beloved. I liked the silly and dramatic parts of this story. It hurt my soul but it was worth it :)
Time:Bombs: noahdeaart's fanart made me think this was going in a different direction... Still a fun one!
Valence: Love this one WAAAAHHH! Pls listen. I love Nico. Sad Boy but hides it under their chaos energy.
The Bright Sessions: I would 1005% listen to a spin-off just about Mark. This Sad Boy keeps collecting trauma and I need to see him and Oliver maybe go on adventures or something. ANYTHING.
Roommates: I, too, had a pandemic college experience. It's kinda bizarre that there's already a story about that and I love it!
Look Up: Wholesome. Briggon Snow kept me fed.
Moonface: Appreciate having an audio drama from an Asian American perspective. Didn’t realize how much I needed that.
Murray Mysteries: Must protect Jonathan.
Kaleidotrope: More wholesome content. I got more into it by the second half. The hosts have a fun dynamic!
Re: Dracula: Still thinking about Inside You.
Wooden Overcoats: Rudyard is my fav. Chapman deserves the hate.
The Vanishing Act: this Rudyard wasn’t my fav. I was happy to listen to him suffer but also happy when he fell in love. A win for Griffson!
Greater Boston: Michael Tate <3
Ars Paradoxica: Nikhil Sharma <3
Podcasts I’m Catching Up On
Life with Althaar: I knew that plant lady was sus
The Night Post: Ashley……
Love and Luck: I’m on ep 87 now some magical things are going down
Going Lowbrow: I wasn’t expecting a musical but I’m not complaining.
SAYER: There are no bees on Typhon :)
WTNV: I got behind during high school and now I’m too scared to get caught up… one day. It's been so long at this point I think I'd need to start over.
BRASS: I fell behind on episodes :(
Not Quite Dead: If there are vampires, I'm automatically interested. Only a few eps in.
Hi Nay: I’m listening to Murphy respectfully.
Podcasts I’ve Dropped
Moonbase Theta Out
Dreamboy
Archive 81
The Sheridan Tapes
Jar of Rebuke
I’ll keep this updated every so often. Most of these I’ve found either from scouring rec lists or seeing nice fanart.
Please let me know of any recommendations you may have! Thanks for reading if you got this far. Mad respect.
Last updated: 04/14/24
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web-novel-polls · 8 months
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MXTX Side Characters Tournament Submissions
SUBMISSIONS ARE CLOSED
Rules
One character per submission. If you want to submit multiple characters, please do so in separate forms
No main couples (Bingqiu, Wangxian, or Hualian)
Preliminary polls may occur to decide whether or not to include other significant characters like Feng Xin, Mu Qing, or Liu Qingge. Minor but popular characters like Six Balls will be allowed.
Tag: #mxtx side characters tournament
Submission List below the cut (Dealer's Choice not included)
SVSSS
Zhuzhi-lang 
Submission 1: Snake boy my beloved
Submission 2: I love him
Shang Qinghua / Airplane
Submission (2): He's a sidekick and he's so sidelined that despite creating the universe he's treated as an afterthought - doubly a side character! But also? So relateable. He would absolutely have been on tumblr in his first life, he gets so excited about his blorbo who treats him terribly (until they finally get a happy ending in the extras - also! he has to wait for the extras to get his happy ending! very side-character of him). He holds the fascinating position of being mostly irrelevant to the story and yet without him the themes would totally fail. He deserves a win on something for once, okay?
Sha Hualing
Submission: Her cringefail losergirl swag has captivated me 
Mu Qingfang 
Submission: Ppl tend to completely forget he has a mad scientist side (see Jinlan arc) and if he gets into the tournament I'll have a reason to bring it up.
Daoist nuns triplets 
Submission: Authors of "Song of BingQiu" and the true culprits behind the ass wine extra. Stop crediting Liu Mingyan with their hard work! 
Mobei-jun
Submission: He's a demon tsundere who doesn't realize his human boyfriend is scared and easily squishable. Got demoted from king to cabinet minister during a hostile takeover but is pretty chill about it. Huge boobs.
Six Balls
Submission: When he was born he weighed as much as six balls. Current ball number unknown.
Helen of Troy*
Submission: uhm she isn't a Side character ? but she is referenced heavily by the main character and the subtext. This is integral to the plot of SVSSS because the subtext is where it's actually at. If all you do is read the book you will have several misconceptions of the plot. Anyway Shen Yuan!Shen Qingqiu is a metaphorical Helen of Troy within the story AND HE FUCKING SAYS THIS HIMSELF INSUSJSKS
*will have to pass a preliminary poll to be included in the tournament (<-thinks it would be funny to put her in)
Ning Yingying
Submission: Her glow-up in the SVSSS timeline is real! Instead of becoming Luo Binghe's childhood sweetheart, she roasts him for referring to her too familiarly. Love this for her. 
Gongyi Xiao 
Submission: He is such a Good Person who didn't deserve his fate :(
Qin Wanyue
Submission: Scum Villain's wettest and most pathetic loser! Of course, she's so pathetic that she's constantly overshadowed by more bombastically pathetic characters, but I think she deserves her chance at recognition. 
OG Luo Binghe’s Harem
Submission: Binghe's harem the whole collection all of them together an amalgamation of all the wives 
Tianlang-jun
Submission: Incredible character who does it like him 
TGCF 
Quan Yizhen 
Submission: He's a good boi and thinking about him makes me cry a lil'.
Yin Yu 
Submission: The guy of all time. The most average god ever. Someone give him a break. His face is so average that Xie Lian thought it was fake 
Ling Wen
Submission: Girlboss. Did nothing wrong
Bai Jing (Brocade Immortal)
Submission: no 1 ling wen simp (just like me fr)
MDZS
A-Qing 
Propaganda: She's so smart. She tricked so many people into thinking she was blind for so long. Also, she was really kind and considerate. Like she didn't have to save all of those people from Xue Yang. Oh and she's an excellent judge of character and super brave. Really hope she wins, she's such a fun little genius girl
Su Minshan / Su She
Propaganda: Idk I just kinda like him
Submission 2: Look at him having his own life and grudges and friendships and priorities completely unrelated to the main characters! He was so right to curse Jin Zixun 
Wen Ning 
Submission: This poor guy dealt with so much shit in life, only to be killed, resurrected, and forced to deal with Wuxian's bullshit for years on end
Jiang Cheng
Submission 1: Extremely traumatized yet also somehow the most normal and functional by the end. Huge bitch but I (and at least one of the other characters) think he deserves to be even worse after everything he's been through
Submission 2: Simultaneously badass and the most cringefail man. Extremely funny and stylish but still manages to be very uncool. Cries a lot. Also he's lost a lot of tumblr polls—let's give him another shot! We definitely love him more than his dad did!
Submission 3: He's got mommy issues AND daddy issues. He loves his sister and his shige so much. He's traumatised and incredibly competent. He rebuilt his whole sect! He's an asshole (affectionate). He's purple! He's got the coolest weapon ever conceived. I'm so worried about his blood pressure basically all the time. 
Wen Qing
Submission 1: Doctor, mad scientist, war criminal, protective big sister... she has the range!!
Submission 2: Wen Qing my beloved!! She did surgery on a grape. Mad genius for real. Also a loving sister with a very sharp tongue and maybe no sense of how far is too far. Can't wait for them to find her alive in a Koi Tower basement!
Submission 3: Justice for my girl!!!! 
Submission 4: She's bitchy and pragmatic and cares deeply and did an unprecedented operation (experimental and nonconsensual!), what's not to love? Also she deserved better.
Jin Ling
Submission 1: He may be a brat, but he has a good heart and a friendly dog. He thinks he's the main character of a much less intense story which keeps almost getting him killed 
Submission 2: Bestest boy in the whole world. He's got a dog! A helicopter uncle! His dad's sword! Yeah he can be a little brat but he's SIXTEEN okay (or thirteen, or whatever, MXTX HELP) and he's got an incredible capacity for forgiveness. He's so good!
Xue Yang
Submission 1: No propaganda submitted
Submission 2: It's not that he's evil. He lacks empathy and he goes into a disassociative state and commits atrocities.
Xiao Xingchen
No propaganda submitted
Song Lan 
No propaganda submitted
Fairy (Jin Ling’s dog)
Submission: The cutest, smartest, and goodest doggo! She's the one who led WangXian to the Nie sword tomb to save Jin Ling! and led Jiang Cheng to Guanyin Temple to save Jin Ling! and led Lan cultivators to the temple to help Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen (and Jin Ling!)
Bichen 
Submission: this sword has been through a lot…
Lan Xichen
Submission: Pay your respects to the captain of the WangXian ship! Those idiots would keep pining for another 13282627 years if it weren't for him!
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cielomist · 1 year
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This is very much not april fools related i genuinely want to hear your thoughts /srs but i am begging you can i Pls have a full ass rant abt all your vexen thoughts im backreading through propaganda and youre making me go OUGH - @fuckable-kh-men-battle
HOUGH
i want to preface this by saying i am not super articulate, i am very much a person that just rotates characters in my head at high speeds and doesn't form super coherent thoughts, but by god i know i have a lot of vexen thoughts its just gonna take some time to put them into like, understandable words
under a cut bc im sure its gonna get long. also im sorry that this is so incredibly disorganized.
OK SO
i have loved vexen. ever since i was a kid. i never even played com i just saw him in the kh2 journal and was like "THAT ONE"
(i was also deep in the like… 2009-era deviantart kh fandom, but… 😬)
but getting into the deeper stuff, vexen has this fun little dichotomy of somehow being incredibly cringefail but also EXTREMELY accomplished. he brags about how smart he is, he giggles to himself about it in the castle in days, and it comes across as this pathetic little man just being full of himself, but he also can like, legitimately back it up? he just MADE another riku. he MADE xion, and xion is absolutely extraordinary because she was not supposed to develop as her own person, but he was just so damn good at making just real ass PEOPLE that xion became her own person with her own thoughts and feelings and dreams
one of my favourite scenes is this one. first of all i live for all interactions between vexen/even and zexion/ienzo because GOD. i'm fucking obsessed with dad!even as a concept and i love thinking of the dynamics between ienzo and all his dads and i need to stop myself here or i'm gonna go off on a whole other tangent about ienzo specifically and how fucked his entire life was--
anyway that scene is one of my favs because i just love vexen running through the castle, yelling for his son, because his boss is actively avoiding him. i just assume this is how it always is with him.
also it's been pointed out that vexen, when talking with zexion, will often bend so he's eye level with him and i love that. i adore that.
also speaking of vexen/even and zexion/ienzo, THIS
god sorry i just read ienzo's character file and he mentioned even would scold atw for buying ienzo so much ice cream and i love that mental image. atw is literally king of radiant garden and even's bitching him out for spoiling his 8-year-old
and god VEXEN'S CHARACTER FILE... "I had lost sight of why I wanted to be clever in the first place. I wanted to be clever because I wanted to be helpful to someone." HHHHHHHH even became a scientist in the first place because he waanted to HELP PEOPLE and he got in this spiral of "i need to be smart to help people" and he worked HARD to become smarter and eventually dropped the "to help people" presumably because of xehanort and then when he was recompleted the first time he REMEMBERED WHY he wanted to do all the things he wanted to do in the first place, and in order to help people he gave up his heart, his humanity, what the original organization had been WORKING TOWARDS THE WHOLE TIME and i just. ough.
also in birth by sleep even talks to ven for like, two minutes maximum and from that is able to just deduce that ven's heart is not only completely devoid of darkness, but also that any darkness he DID have was forcibly removed. i don't know where to fit this tidbit in but i think about it a lot.
i mentioned in one of my propaganda asks a post that theorized about vexen's shield, and while i still can't find that post i did remember a fic i read based of of it
i somehow don't have coherent thoughts on his redemption arc in kh3. i get distracted by how pretty he looks when he says he wants to atone i think. but his little monologue when he's trying to convince demyx to help him out... ough. i am personally of the opinion that even was the apprentice with an actual like, medical phd. i think all of the apprentices specialized in different things, and i don't really have a solidified idea for anyone else (though dilan is shown to like flowers in his character file, though i think that gardening is a hobby for him rather than his professional field) but that's my Even's Professional Career headcanon. he absolutely has the entire ICD manual memorized. and rememorizes it every time it updates.
i also think post-kh3 when he was re-humaned he just straight up euthanized himself to be recompleted. he didn't want to wait to regrow a heart and it beat the hell out of immolation, axel
anyway i really wish people wouldn't reduce vexen/even to just being a creepy weirdo; he has SO MUCH to him, but ultimately i think people overlook him because he's not an anime prettyboy and i and the other vexenfuckers are stronger and smarter and sexier than everyone else
for now that's all i've got. if i think of more things i will rb with more vexen thoughts. thank u for your patience as i go insane writing this. <3
(fun fact! when i was in middle school (maybe high school?) i set his japanese laugh as my alarm and to this day i remember it bleeding into one of my dreams via a man in a parking lot laughing at me until i woke up and realized it was my alarm going off for school)
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frosteee-variation · 1 year
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WAIT. WHO IS MISS DIRECTION
my friend you do not know the can of worms that you have opened with those five words alone
I typed up a full explanation before my tumblr crashed because there was so much I put
hang on okay
okay. okay. okay. missy. miss direction. miss interpretation. miss ellaneous. my beloved. my loathed. my cringefail girlboss miss direction.
upon the second time typing this I realize that it’d probably be much quicker for me to get past the context
OKAY TL;DR my friends and I are part of this campaign in a system called Anime Campaign which is also tied to the series Epithet Erased and we’ve been obsessing over it for about three years now even though nothing has actually started yet.
basically, some people have these things called Epithets and they’re random words tied to a person that lets them do cool stuff, yeah. like, someone in the campaign has Project as an Epithet. she can like, make film-style projections that come to life. it’s very cool!!
So Missy. Missy. Missy is my character. She originally started off as a silly evil NPC the first time we tried to start a campaign but I grew attached and started playing her as a PC in this one. Her Epithet is Concept. There’s a whole lot of complicated nuance surrounding how it actually works but bottom line is she can make things act like other things if people believe that, conceptually, the two things are one in the same. Like making plastic money act like real money, which is something she definitely does not do frequently she is a very honest person and not at all scamming people what are you talking about.
So she was silly!! She was so so silly!!! Basically played up the goon bit of “yeah boss” and all that. She was also a massive theater nerd, and made an active effort to ensure that literally nobody could forget that she was an actor and she knew several plays and shit. So when the most recent attempt at starting a campaign came around, I started thinking to myself, “hm. yeah, missy’s funny… but why is she funny?”
worst mistake of my life (/j)
So. Miss Direction (not her actual name) was an actor. Or she was learning to be an actor, at least. Absolutely loved the stage. And she was a really charming person, too!! But then for reasons I SADLY CANNOT ELABORATE ON HERE BECAUSE I KNOW THE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THAT CAMPAIGN ARE FOLLOWING ME AND WE’RE PLANNING ON KEEPING THE MAIN BITS OF OUR BACKSTORIES SECRET she eventually booked it halfway across the country to this coastal city, Gallenset Gulf.
And she’s like “hhhhhouGHGGGGGHFUCK my life is RUINED” because of said nondescript Horrors™️ in her backstory that I cannot elaborate on and she’s kind of like. Not doing good. At all. She’s really shaken by the whole thing. Like it’s bad. She basically comes to the conclusion that she’s a horrible person for leaving and eventually gets roped into working for these small time criminals because (because of The Horrors™️) she’s technically a wanted criminal herself now.
So she works for them for a while, until she gets noticed by this woman named Ritz. K. Ritz, to be exact. Terrifying woman. Has a lot of “Hell” symbolism surrounding her for obvious reasons. You know the hound thing? The hound thing I mentioned in the last post? This is where that comes in. Hounds of hell, dogs of war, however you cut it. Ritz basically looks at this pathetic woman and goes “yeah, you know that stuff you said about you being horrible? You’re right. You’re totally evil. Like, holy shit, you’re bad. I’m worse though, so why don’t you work for me and you can go be a lot more honest with yourself.” AND IT WORKS.
After that, she ends up developing this whole brand around herself and takes up the Miss Direction moniker. She does some freelance work as a henchperson for a while and plays up the “VERY EVIL” gimmick to get more business and gets fairly far because she treats it more like a show, than anything. And she’s cunning, too! Really smart!! Absolutely PERFECT hitman material!
Right now, she’s basically easing off the gas and taking a bit of a breather by the time the campaign starts. Most of her attention has gone towards her startup (HenchPeople Incorporated, or H.I.P. for short because she’s a bad guy and doesn’t listen to the rules of acronyms) and she’s absolutely horrible and I love her so so so much.
She’s a dog person. She sings while she works. She failed to intimidate a kid one time and said kid turned around with a nat 20 and completely and utterly disgraced her. She constantly changes her name. Her jacket is this weird fucking white trenchcoat with baroque trim for some reason. She has an irrational hatred of Julius Caesar (the show). I absolutely adore her
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transgirl-catra · 1 year
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Okay first time Utena movie thoughts
-short hair utena i owe you my fucking life oh my god
-the degree of visual spectacle here is just. god. Like a lot of it is the product of having a feature animation budget for an established franchise but it also feels like there was just an increased confidence in the vision at this point. I really really love the way it leans into the surrealist aspects of the setting and those shots of the ruined garden in the rain are. mwah. good shit.
-why is the turning into a car the part of this movie that people clown on. that was maybe the thing that made the most sense to me the symbolism is extremely well established already.
-my one complaint is that i think it would have benefitted from like. an extra 20 minutes of runtime? the transition to the final sequence felt really abrupt
I don't think I could spoil this if i tried but im gonna put stuff under a readmore just in case
-first and foremost this is really interesting to me as something which is like. very self-consciously a retelling and playing with the expectations that the audience comes in with.
-I think this is most notable with the Akio reveal-the entire reason that it works is that we're USED to him not appearing in the flesh for the first half of the story. His absence doesn't really seem notable until we Find Out and it throws away everything we had been assuming.
-see also the touga being dead the whole time twist, which would be way more obvious if your brain wasn't already using what you've seen of him in the show to fill in his characterization especially re: how he should be interacting with the rest of the council.
-on a related note I was not expecting the differences in characterization to be so drastic. I think they're kind of a mixed bag? I vastly prefer show!Anthy but I really like the way they draw out the more sympathetic/tragic aspects of Touga's character. and also making akio just cringefail and pathetic and die before the movie even starts like a fucking idiot is great.
-Juri and shiori,,, ough
-I knew utenanthy kiss real but i did not expect it in THE FIRST 20 MINUTES. and then the second one at the end!!! god!!!!
good fucking movie. probably going to end up watching it again with friends very soon and im excited to like. try to get a better understanding of it
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snobgoblin · 1 year
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"sure you want ___ in fiction but what about real life" I have actively seeked out the most pathetic cringefail men I've ever seen in my life and it was glorious. best crushes I've ever had fictional crushes absolutely do translate to real life. at least for me. sometimes
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emma-d-klutz · 11 months
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I can never forget the time I briefly befriended a guy and then one day he said we can’t talk anymore because my “dorky virgin thing” was a massive turn on to him and he knew I wouldn’t want to deal with that. 
Like absolutely respectful and emotionally regulated king deciding to remove himself from a situation, you know, like this isn’t a creepy guy story in the slightest, but that shock still rings through me. I was his sopping wet pathetic little meow meow for real and he could no longer watch my cringefail ass trip over nothing without the risk of jumping me and I tell you I had no idea of any of this whatsoever until that very moment and we never spoke again life is a sitcom
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sainztander · 1 year
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your thoughts about brazil gp drama max/checo ... charles team radio
HI ! yeah why not !
ok rbr drama first: it was HILARIOUS. rbr was just done with winning both wdc and wcc by an insane margin and shaming everybody else in the meantime and then just went like. hey you know what. we made these last races too boring maybe. so here's some free drama <3 and they really delivered god bless
it's just so insane by any point of view. max - already the world champion since 3 races prior - just flat out REFUSING to give up on that p7. and throwing a tantrum for all the world to hear. apparently having held a grudge at checo for what. 6 months?? and taking revenge simultaneously in the most girlboss AND cringefail way possible?? he's so real (mv00 girlies DO NOT interact). and the fact that checo apparently crashed purposefully in monaco just to fuck with max - and then confessed right away?? pathetic. and 6 months later he's fighting his life for that p2 in the championship but here's max 'fuck around and find out' emilian just parking in front of him. delicious. and all of that chaos managing to cover rbr fucking with the strategy by not pitting checo (and actually making him lose the p2 in the end) AND max crashing into lewis because everyone was too busy making sad edits about the end of the fantasy max/checo bromance........ i know the ferrari smm was FUMING.
oh and charles..... can i say i actually cringed when they played his radio. like i get where he was coming from with the weekend he just had but honestly i was like. babe please you're embarrassing BOTH of us!! of course he couldn't have known about the ongoing investigation on carlos but still...... you're really throwing a tantrum for a..... p TWO....... in the championship........ boy get a grip fr..........
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sandjosieph · 1 year
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What exactly is the method the Watchers are torturing the participants of the Life Games with? The best I can come up with given the sort of chaotic lunacy that usually happens is forcing the players to watch their friends be cringefail and slightly more unhinged. Which, for an all powerful cosmic entity, is kinda pathetic.
Because let’s be real: If there was a evil cosmic entity in control of the games they wouldn’t be NEARLY as entertaining (which is probably the reason why I have such a disdain for Watcher based stories).
That’s the reason why we have to transplant all the angst after the fact. There’s absolutely no way we could come up with plotlines as enthralling and unpredictable as what the players make just being themselves.
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valv413 · 9 months
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Playing Disco Elysium is really painful for me because I'm a sorrycop in real life and it makes me feel so pathetic and cringefail but not in the charming way
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cringefaillosersummit · 6 months
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Round 2 - Group 1A
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Submission notes under cut. Some submissions had notes others did not:
Minamoto Sakura
Literally been a loser all her life. Became depressed and apathetic. When she finally got her life together again, she got run over by a truck and fucking died. Also, she’s the only one of the zombies who’s not LEGENDARY, and she continuously gets bullied by Kotaro. Cringefail Queen <3
(SPOILERS FOR SEASON 1) She failed at everything she ever attempted (got sick when she had the lead role in a play, sprained her leg 3 years in a row before a relay race, got distracted on her way to her high school exams and couldn’t focus so she got low scores) until she finally gets hit by a truck immediately after leaving her house (she was on the way to mail in her submission for an idol audition). THEN she gets turned into a zombie except she loses her memory until she gets hit by a truck AGAIN (she never looks both ways when crossing the street rip). She loses her zombie memories but gets her human ones back only to remember that she was the ultimate cringefail loser who never succeeded at anything she tried in life. Also (SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2) her former classmate is the one who revived her and she cant even tell who he is when his entire disguise is a pair of sunglasses.
Operator 6O:
she talks about getting into astrology then immediately says she thinks it isn't real because she got an awful fortune. there's unskippable dialogue where she calls the protagonist and sobs about getting turned down by a girl she liked. she even dies
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