#pappa | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pencilofawesomeness · 2 years

Text

htryds: Nakia

“Microshot” I would say, but this baby is 4691 words so here, enjoy a random chapter.

A continuation from Penelope and Donovan, otherwise known as me being back on my Bickslow’s Babies nonsense, with encroaching plot-building (and also art).

----

When she finally convinced one of the humans to confirm that her little sister was dead, Nakia laughed.

It was a horrible thing to do. The sound was grating to her own ears, her vocal cords weak from the years of mutations and surgeries, but it was reflex all the same. Her sister was finally free. With no help from Nakia, of course, but she had already given up the notion that she could possibly do anything. Especially not now. So, when she tapped the floor and felt the emptiness of the cell next to her, and she replayed the curt “Subject 003 is no longer present” in her head, she laughed, again and again.

One down, one to go, then.

If anyone from the outside world were to see her, they would surely deem her crazy. She certainly felt it. Her understanding of the outside slipped into nothing but a bizarre dream, and the only thing Nakia was certain of was that this human-made hell was a bad thing. How far the expanse of metal walls and forced, tasteless magic went… She didn’t know. She didn’t really care. It existed, and she existed in it, and that was simply her existence. Nakia had the feeling that she should care more—and once, she did—but the passion was no longer there. There was no energy for useless things like anger and fear, so she didn’t make the effort for it.

Vaguely, she could recall her village—but only vaguely. Her parents existed in her memory, but only as fuzzy, warm shapes. Her little sister, who had been taken with her in the raid… Nakia remembered her a bit better, if only because her presence was something she had been aware of for years—a small shape felt through the floor. Her shape changed, sometimes, and Nakia didn’t have enough sense of what she looked like anymore, so it was hard to tell which shapes were right and which weren’t. The only thing that Nakia could remember was that her sister had the same hair she did. At least, she used to. The color itself was irrelevant: just another thing she had forgotten. And Nakia remembered enough to know that she has forgotten many, many things. (She couldn’t even remember her sister’s name anymore: just ‘subject 003.’ How awful was that?)

Not that it mattered. The little girl that Nakia’s cracking heart still ached for was gone. There was nothing to ache over anymore. She only had to feel the coldness of the steel floor, and the vibrations of foreign footsteps she knew so well, and something the jittery magic that pelted through her until her brain wasn’t memories or thoughts—just soothing static.

“Subject 004,” a nasally voice announced. Oh, good! It was the bald one! They were easy to recognize, and better yet, they were one of the few humans that didn’t fuss when she ran her fingers along the hall. They didn’t say much at all, but that was okay. None of them did.

She stood, bracing herself against the corner of her little room. It was time for another one of the more exciting days.

—o0o—

Nakia’s fingers tingled. She didn’t like that. If she pressed her bare feet against the ground, then she could still feel the room, but if she used her hand… It was harder. All she could feel was the static—and that was a feeling that belonged in her brain, or maybe on her tongue, but not her hand.

She pouted to herself. That sucked. She liked her hands. That’s how she felt things the best. Her feet would do, but her feet have been off for a long time. Nakia’s memory may be bad, but she did remember that she used to be able to do…something with her feet. They transformed. (Okay, so the details were lost to her, but she knew that she forgot, at least.) Now they were always human feet, and that wasn’t terrible, but they couldn’t feel things as good as she knew they should.

So. Hands.

She wished they would return back to normal soon enough. Nakia knew how to manage this horrible life she lived, but without her best sense? It would so much worse.

—o0o—

She was beginning to suspect that they were running out of things to do with her, because they kept changing what happened. It was exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time.

After a few more different tests, the humans stopped concerning themselves with her body. Maybe it was because she looked human now? (At least, Nakia thought so. There was no way to tell for sure.) She didn’t try to think too hard about it, because the humans and their reasonings always confused her, and honestly? She didn’t want to know. That would just be another fruitless worry.

“We have a sensory test scheduled,” one human said. “Why are you setting up for another magic probe?”

“We just did a sensory test,” the other human responded. “The results were as expected at this stage. It would be better to pair it with a reading, so we can compare it to the control data.”

The first human scoffed. “We have a thousand of those readings. We already determined that 004 maintained the same frequency, despite the loss of non-human facilities. It’s pointless to do more.”

“And it’s pointless to do more sensory tests, too.”

She didn’t pay much attention to the humans’ conversations when they happened, because it was mostly jargon to her ears, but it was also more interesting to listen when the alternative was re-evaluating every scratch on the metal surface. (There were a lot, and faulty memory aside, Nakia didn’t think that all of them were hers. At least, she didn’t remember making any at all, so there probably wasn’t many that she was the cause of. As far as she was aware. How would she scratch the surface, anyway? There was nothing sharp about her. Not now, and she didn’t think there used to be either…)

“Subject 004,” one of the humans said, and she recognized that they were talking to her. “Come.”

She hopped off the table, glad that whatever they determined to do didn’t involve it. The table meant having to stay still while they worked on her or did stuff to her, and those things tended to hurt.

Nakia recognized the winding path to the Large Room, where the running platforms and other physical activities were. Oh, this wasn’t bad at all. She wasn’t fond of the feeling of her legs collapsing, but she also did want to stretch them. Anything to make the weirdness in them go away.

The human guided her to one of the running platforms, and she felt the tickle of those little strings they attached to her legs.

“We’ll just do a little today,” the human murmured, “until the boss decides what to do with you.”

The boss—that was the maybe-human with the weird scent, right? She wondered if she was going to be in a room with him again. Nakia wasn’t sure she wanted to, but the magic that crawled around him was bizarre enough that she would surely be distracted by it, if she sensed it again.

Not that the boss usually visited. Of course, just because Nakia only remembered it once, didn’t mean that it hadn’t happened before.

Oh well. Whatever happens will happen.

—o0o—

They didn’t do anything with her for a while. Probably because of all of that talk of the boss. She never sensed him near her, though. It was a little disappointing. (Except he was Freaky, so also, it really wasn’t.)

The bald human came for her eventually.

“Alright, Four,” he said, “we’re trying something new today.”

That sounded interesting. He meant it, too, because he led her down a path she did not recognize. How exciting. And nerve-wracking, perhaps, but Nakia had long since lost the energy to be anxious in that regard. Things simply happened, and that was it.

They took her into a room, and a door clicked shut behind her. She couldn’t immediately find a wall, but through the smooth and cold floor, she surmised that the room was completely empty. It was almost like her room, except one of the walls was funny. A window maybe? Nakia couldn’t sense anything past the room, so she didn’t think much more about it.

Nobody asked her to do anything, so Nakia just wandered. She found two of the normal walls when the door opened a second time, and somebody stumbled in.

The new person was small and light. Nakia’s nonchalance faded, just a bit, as she realized that they must be a child—another one of the human mages’ test subjects.

There was nothing that could be done about it, but Nakia still found herself sad over the matter.

“This again?” the new person whined, and his voice matched the age that she imagined. He wasn’t a tiny child, but he only came up to her shoulders. A few years younger, perhaps? (The age of her sister?)

“Sorry lady,” he said, rubbing at his eyes. “Can’t keep the peanut gallery waiting.”

Nothing happened, though. Nakia could sense magic from him, but nothing beyond that. The room was still, and so was he.

After a few awkward seconds of silence, Nakia grew impatient in her curiosity. “What are you doing?”

“Huh.” The boy sounded just as confused. “Nothing, apparently. You can, uh, still move and stuff?”

She stretched her hands back and forth and nodded. “Am I… not supposed to?”

The humans hadn’t told her to do anything, or to not do anything, so she was confused on that front as well. They probably told the boy what they wanted from this room, so she listened to him instead.

“Um… No, not really? Ugh, my stupid eyes finally don’t work, I guess.”

He looked nervously towards the fake wall, but nothing happened. The humans were being patient about this. The boss must not be interested after all—that’s always when they got nervous and wanted to go faster.

Nothing happened, and nobody said anything.

“Huh.”

The boy’s voice was quiet and perplexed. Nakia didn’t know what spurred on the reaction though. Nothing was happening.

“Your soul looks weird.”

Oh? Nakia didn’t remember anything about souls—although she was far from reliable in that sense. “My soul? I didn’t realize they looked like anything.”

“Uh, yeah, I can see them. Yours isn’t a circle though.”

“Is it supposed to be?”

“Yes…?”

Nakia did not pretend to understand the contents of the conversation, but it was also the most anyone had talked to her—and listened to her—in… Well, she couldn’t remember how long it has been, but it felt like forever. Some of the humans—er, older humans, if she were to assume this kid was human—would answer her questions from time to time, but they never indulged her for long.

None of them stopped her and the boy from talking now, so Nakia took advantage of it, even if the topic didn’t make that much sense.

“What does it look like, then?”

The boy had to think about it. “Kinda…long? Oval-ish? That’s not normal, right?”

Hm? Was he asking her?

“Yeah okay, you’re right. Of course you don’t know,” the boy sighed, having received an answer. There was no one else in the room, though, and Nakia didn’t hear anything. That was weird.

“Maybe that’s why my magic isn’t working. Hey, quick question: are my eyes green? I’m pretty sure they’re green when they hijack people. That’s what granny said at least—she said they were super creepy, too.”

“Green?” Oh, he was asking her about what his eyes looked like. “Oh. I don’t know.”

“Huh? Wait a second!” At this, the point had some sort of epiphany. He moved closer to her, waving a hand near her face. “You can’t see, can you? Your eyes look kind of glassy.”

Did they? She hadn’t realized that was a thing. “Nope.”

He laughed. “That makes sense. I gotta look at your eyes, but if you can’t see me, then it doesn’t work! Or, maybe because your eyes are broken it doesn’t work? No offense.”

“None taken.”

“Hey, um, doctor dudes?” he called, raising his voice. “I can’t do the thing with her. Just so you know.”

After a pause, a disembodied voice came from the fake wall. “Carry on attempting non-visual manipulation.”

“Non-visual… What?”

There came an agitated grunt from the voice. She believed it was the bald one, but she couldn’t be sure through the weirdness of the floating voice. “Make contact with the soul without the eye-link. This is currently a long-term project. You have time.”

The voice cut away. It was just the two of them again, and since there wasn’t anything they wanted her to do, Nakia was content on enjoying the company of somebody who was actually pretty nice.

The boy huffed, a cross between dramatic and resigned. “Okay then,” he muttered. Then, louder, he said, “Guess we’ll be here a while then. I’m Bickslow, by the way.”

She perked at that. It had been so long since she heard a name of any kind. Honestly, it was a miracle she remembered her own. She hoped she didn’t forget the boy’s too quickly. “I’m Nakia.”

Bickslow bounced a little at that, and judging by his tone, she guessed he was excitement. “Wow. It’s so nice to hear a real name, and not just numbers. What’s up with those guys and numbers, anyway?” He paused, before spluttering. “What? No, your names are real! I just meant a name I didn’t have to make up.”

“I don’t think I made ‘Nakia’ up,” she responded, bemused by the conversation and by the prospect that maybe she hadn’t remembered her name after all. Oh well. It didn’t bother her if it was made up; at least she remembered it.

“Oh, uh, sorry, not you,” Bickslow chuckled awkwardly. “Nakia’s a nice name though. And, uh, sorry if I accidentally mess you up a bit. If I don’t try to mess with your soul, they’ll notice and get mad again. It shouldn’t hurt you or anything! But, uh, I also don’t know what I’m doing.”

“It’s fine,” she assured him. It was sweet. All the humans here had poked and prodded her to their hearts content, messing with her head, her eyes, her skin, and anything else, but the boy was the first to apologize for it. Besides, Nakia wasn’t so far gone as to not realize that the boy had no choice in the matter, unlike the other human mages. The boy even wore the same kind of loose shirt that she had, the kind that barely kept her warm like she thought clothes should, even after they finally gave her a bigger one.

There was no need for the boy to worry about her.

She knew there wasn’t much left of her anyway.

—o0o—

It became the new routine.

Occasionally, she would only be in the company of the humans, who would do that magic sense thing over her and write things down wordlessly, but mostly, she was taken to the room with the boy.

Bickslow. She could still remember that his name was Bickslow.

He tried using his magic on her too, but it never really worked. Sometimes, she could feel something in her chest, or she would black-out for a second, but those things were normal; she wasn’t sure if it was his doing or not.

Not that it mattered to her. Really, she enjoyed the time she spent with the boy. He was very talkative, even if sometimes he talked to things that wasn’t her, and that got confusing sometimes.

It was just nice to be in the company of another—especially somebody so lively. She wondered: was her little sister this energetic, back when they were both younger and they hadn’t been caged in the cold human building? Nakia thought so, but she couldn’t trust the memory.

Either way, the younger boy made her think of her sister a lot, and that was a good thing, even if it could make even Nakia needlessly sad, from time to time.

Mostly because it made her wonder if she would outlive him too.

—o0o—

“So, if you can control somebody’s soul, you control their body?” she asked. Nakia wasn’t all that curious about the topic, but it was something to talk about, and it helped Bickslow focus.

It also meant that he wasn’t pushing his magic, making his nose bleed and his eyes hurt.

“I guess, yeah. They are sorta connected, but also not really? Since, uh, souls can come out of the body sometimes.”

“What happens then?”

He didn’t answer immediately, his voice lowering in volume. “I’m pretty sure that just happens when someone is dead.”

“Oh.”

—o0o—

“Did they do something to your eyes?” he asked one day. “Not that you have to answer or anything. I know I usually start my magic by looking at somebody’s eyes, and I’m really not sure if it doesn’t work on you because you’re blind, or if because they look kinda screwy. Or your soul shape. Then again, I haven’t really seen all that many souls before I got locked up in here, so maybe that’s normal.”

Nakia had to think about. “I don’t remember seeing anything,” she recalled, though it was hard to say if that meant she had been blind forever, or if she forgot what it was like to see. “They did do things to my face though. I think. It might have been my eyes. What do they look like?”

“Uh…” Bickslow had to think about it. “Cloudy? And I think there’s scars over both of them, though one of your pupils is missing?”

“What’s a pupil?”

“…nevermind, it’s not that important. I was just wondering.”

She shrugged. “It’s okay.”

—o0o—

“Subject 008,” the human warned. “Do not waste time.”

He whined slightly. “I’m trying, okay?”

There was a crackle and a hum. Whatever had happened had displeased them, and their displeasure showed up in the form of angry magic and pain. She had witnessed them take their displeasure out on Bickslow once already, and once was enough, Nakia decided.

She pulled Bickslow closer to her, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “I felt something,” she assured them, even though she still wasn’t sure precisely they wanted to happen. “It was working.”

They paused, contemplating her words from beyond the fake wall. They tended to listen to her, she noticed, only after seeing how they treated Bickslow. It might be because they said she was “docile.” That was fine. Nakia did not waste energy being scared of them, and if that meant they didn’t get upset, then it was beneficial.

“Very well,” they conceded. “Carry on.”

—o0o—

“No, I totally did it! What? No, I’m not crazy, you’re crazy! …Okay, fair.”

Nakia rubbed her head because it was a little sore, but she felt fine overall. Not that she could remember what just happened.

Oh well.

Bickslow was having a conversation with the invisible person (people?) again, though, and this time Nakia was curious enough to question it.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Huh? Oh. Um.” He fidgeted, glancing to the fake wall. “Nobody. Just myself.”

He didn’t want to say. That was fine.

—o0o—

It was later when he finally told her, in a nervous whisper. Perhaps he did not want the older humans to know, and Nakia didn’t blame him. They might try to take them away.

It had been a long day, and they were both exhausted, slumped in a corner for the time being. Nobody bothered them, though, so perhaps nobody was paying attention.

Whatever it was that Bickslow was doing, she could feel it now. It was like she had used too much magic, except she hardly used any.

Bickslow was pressed against her side, so she could feel him without needing her magic to do so. He poked at the air absently, then whispered, “There’s two souls that follow me around.”

Souls without bodies.

Ah, that would explain it.

“That’s nice,” she hummed, even though she could see how it would be a little sad too. But, they had each other. “They keep you company.”

He made a little noise in his throat. “Yeah, you could say that… They don’t really talk much, but they can…emote? Is that the right word? I can understand them, if that’s what you mean. I, uh, hope it’s not too weird?”

Nakia didn’t even know what was normal. But Bickslow asked her these kinds of questions fairly often—maybe because she was older, and he thought she knew stuff. “It doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“Guess not… Still, uh, I don’t want them knowing I can do that. They might…” He shook his head, not finishing the sentence.

She changed the subject for him, sensing his distress. “What do they look like?”

“Oh! Um. Like little colored balls. But not like how souls—except for yours—look like balls. They’re…floatier? Gasier?” He snorted. “No I didn’t mean that in a bad way.”

Nakia giggled. “So they’re like little babies,” she decided. Perhaps not the best analogy, but it was better to imagine that they were simply young and hidden, and not removed from the world to the point that they forgot how to exist.

“Eight. Four,” a voice warned.

Bickslow sighed. “Break time’s over.”

—o0o—

Bickslow finally did it.

Of course, Nakia wasn’t fully aware of how it went down, but she somehow knew that he had grabbed a hold of her soul.

Perhaps because she could, in a way, feel him in return—not just physically, with her magic. She knew he was elated, and then, she knew that he quickly fell into despondency and cold realization.

Then again, that wasn’t entirely new. She had a good grasp on the boy’s emotive state before, the more time they had spent in the room together. Even if she didn’t fully understand it, she knew it was there.

(Maybe it was the magic. Or, maybe, she just remembered what it was like to be a big sister again.)

So, when she reached out to him, she wasn’t surprised when he crashed into her chest, hugging her waist tightly.

“If I don’t see you again…” he started, but a hiccup stopped his sentence short.

It was okay. Nakia understood. If he was able to consistently replicate what the humans wanted, then the experiment would end.

They may never be in the same room again, even if they were prisoners of the same building.

She placed a hand on his head. It had gotten fluffier. “Then you can remember me.”

His memory was much better than hers, after all—though Nakia sincerely hoped that she wouldn’t forget him so soon.

Bickslow sniffled a bit and continued to hug her. She managed to awkwardly return the gesture before the humans interfered, ending the experiment and sending them back to their rooms.

—o0o—

Bickslow had been right. They never saw each other again.

They started to take Nakia to a new room—one with a table.

After so long of not having a table, she was a little annoyed to be faced with one again, but she got over it soon enough. For the most part, it was just more scans and little prods. Nothing too bad, though sometimes it burned and kept burning, like an irritation to her skin. Nakia would listen to the humans, at those times, because it was distracting, even though it was confusing.

“Subject 004 is theorized to have a pliable magic container, according to the seith experiments. Boss cleared her for the dragon operation.”

“Really? I thought he was shutting down that one? Subject 002 failed, and 003 was removed. We were never able to replicate Subject 001’s results.”

“Subject 004 here is said to have a similar aptitude for the element we have on hand. Not as much as Subject 003, but that can’t be helped. Honestly? I think the boss is curious. That lacrima isn’t good for anything else—especially with Subject 001 a closed case.”

“Still seems like a waste.”

“You wanna tell the boss that?”

“Fair point.”

“This one’s got the best disposition for it anyway. If it goes well, the boss may get involved—give her an opportunity to move elsewhere, maybe, like with One.”

“Maybe. None of these subjects are nearly as crazy as One, though.”

—o0o—

After several visits to the table room, they brought her to a new table room, just to strap her down. They hadn’t the last few times, and she couldn’t remember the last time they did it at all. Back when the table experiments jolted her, maybe?

Not that that mattered now.

“Try to relax,” a voice murmured, near her ear. “Don’t fight it.”

“Commence the lacrima insertion.”

There was a tingling. For a second, it felt like it had with Bickslow—a warmth in her chest, straining through it was. Then, the tingling turned into electricity, then it burned.

The burning spread. She probably screamed. Her chest burned, then her skin burned, and her magic was consumed.

Nakia simply… burned away.

—o0o—

There was something she needed to do. She couldn’t remember what, though. Somewhere she needed to go? Maybe someone she was going to find. To join? She thought that there should be a compulsion, for some reason—a trail to follow—but there was nothing.

She floated for a bit.

Floating was nice.

Then she remembered that there was a trail. A different one. (She wasn’t sure how it was different than what she expected, but it was.) It tugged at her faintly, and as she floated, the tugging grew.

She followed it.

It led her to a boy. She remembered him, even if he wasn’t the family that she initially expected.

He remembered her too.

Inside the bland room, the boy startled, staring at her like she was a ghost.

(Oh wait. She was, wasn’t she?)

“Nakia?” he asked, and she knew he was upset. She couldn’t do much about it though—just float into him gently.

“Shit, Nakia, I didn’t… I mean, I thought about it, but I didn’t want you to kick the can too, you know.”

There two balls of light next to him. She wasn’t sure how she saw them, but she did. Everything was more of a sense anyway—just energy and magic, that swirled around in shapes that made sense.

One of the balls flickered angrily, and the other flickered warily.

Bickslow shushed them both. “It’s okay, guys, Nakia is a friend. Was? Ugh, shit.”

Oh no. He was getting upset again. She didn’t like that. She nudged him once more, until she elicited a giggle from him.

There. That was better.

“Sorry,” he muttered, wiping at his face. “It just sucks, a little.”

She didn’t mind though.

The angry soul sputtered.

“Oh right. That’s Poppo, and this is Pippi. They’re my—what did you call them again?” He laughed. “They’re my babies.”

Poppo huffed, and Pippi peeked at her.

“Yeah, I kinda had to name them myself, since I didn’t know their names, and I didn’t want them to not have a name.”

She thought they were cute.

“Heh. Really?”

Peppe drooped a little.

“Sorry Pippi,” he apologized. Then, to her, he whispered, “I think she’s jealous.”

Both of the other souls startled. She giggled. It was funny.

“Hey, what if I gave you a nickname? Just to stay on theme?”

Oh? She liked that idea. His names were fun anyway.

“Um… Pappa? You know, ‘cause you were kinda like…” He coughed awkwardly. “I dunno, kinda parental? To me, at least.”

She didn’t follow his reasoning, but she liked the name.

“Okay. That works. Yeah.” Bickslow took in a shaky breath. He was still a little upset, but Pappa believed that he would be okay.

She’ll watch over him and make sure of it.

#htryds #htryds microshot #nakia #pappa #bickslow #bickslow's babies #human experimentation #scars #character death #pencil is back on her baby backstory bullshit #with art this time #almost didn't include it but #i sketched it in my sketchbook and then i liked it #so digital it became

28 notes · View notes