#or some bullshit like that idk i'm talking out of my ass rn lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ambreiiigns · 26 days

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Yes tell me about "rick's crybaby backstory"! I didn't think this was a backstory type of show, that's exactly what I'm curious about! And what do you mean evil morty?? Tiny rick? Beth clone? Toilet episode? Pissmaster????? What is going on lol

YAYYYYY THANK YOU BUCKLE UP SORRY FOR TAKING A DAY XX HEHE

rick's crybaby backstory. that's what he calls it. he had wife (diane) and kid (beth) for whom he was going to give up science entirely (big deal for a rick, apparently he's the only one who was willing to do that !) enter Rick Prime. remember how the multiple realities and multiple versions of characters is a big plotpoint. yea. this Other Rick shows up and tries to get our rick hooked on interdimensional traveling but he refuses! bc he says it sounds lonely! ARGH so prima kills his wife and kid. oh well. we Later find out he's been killing everyone's diane and in fact invented a device that allows you to kill evert version of someone throughout every dimension. so rip diane forever and ever

so our rick goes on a revenge spree. he invents his own portal gun - apparently every other rick borrows their portal gun from prime who's the only one who built it himself. besides Our rick. and starts tracking prime down killing a bunch of other ricks in the process. so many in fact that those remaining build. the citadel of ricks. stay with me. it's like. idk a space station something where a bunch of ricks and their morties live and or stop by to mind their business. whatever. so this haunt for rick prime and killing himself over and over is what eventually gets our rick, who was gonna choose his family and human connections over science and adventure, to be as jaded and nihilistic and Alcoholic as every other rick before and after him. f in the chats for my man

so when the premise of the show is "rick had abandoned beth as a child and randomly crashed into her garage and settled down w her a couple of decades later" we know that's Wrong and that he's been on a quest to avenge her and her mom for all those years. aight. now it also ties into the overarching Plot of rick and morty bc during his quest to kill rick prime our rick also got in general trouble w the Galactic Federation who's like. big ass space government. and made friends w people who want to overthrow it. so he helps fight it yippie. this is how he meets my BELOVED birdperson and squanchy The Boys™ gang gang. we don't have time to discuss that rick's in love w birdperson maybe next time. the federation seems to be permanently dead rn if you care

by evil morty i mean THEE mvp i think some of the most iconic episodes revolve around him he got fed up w his rick and almost killed him put like some computer shit inside of him to control him like a little mechanical puppet. slay. then he went on to. become president of the citadel. slay. and revealed his Final Plan of killing a bunch of ricks and morties to create a portal that would get him out of the. my god. central finite curve. which we find out it's basically. every universe in which rick exists as the smartest being. evil morty's Evil Plan is simply to get out from under ricks' collective thumb and live by himself for himself. there's like a whole morty black market around the universe bc ricks use morties GOD I DON'T WANNA GET INTO IT IT'S SUCH BULLSHIT ACTUALLY but evil morty is my sweetheart he was right he did nothing wrong. he had a convo w our morty that knocks your tits clean off that goes like "if you've ever been sick of him you've been evil too" or "he's attached to us infinitely through his weakness and our forgiveness" like it slaps. it slaps i'm sorry what can i say

i feel like i end up talking too much abt rick when i love morty so much more but ofc the old man who goes on space adventures has more to be said abt him than the 14yo boy. but i do love him to death he's had such good if slow growth he's such a. victim to rick lmao even tho we find out very early on that ricks are usually SO much worse to their morties but he's been growing balls! he tells rick off now and finds him annoying and gets mad at him and all that! i love to see it. in fact rick is just as attached to morty at this point. it's so cute to see. grandpa's little buddy FUCK yeah and the other ricks make fun of him for that HA

tiny rick is. one time he turned himself into a teen and went to school w morty and summer. i like that bc he became pathetic and kept admitting he's Sad. beth clone is umm whenever we find out beth is in fact her father's daughter and is probably just as clever and violent as he is he proposes to make her a clone that will watch after jerry & the kids while she gets to go on space adventures like he did. and she doesn't decide she lets Him decide but instead of deciding her fucking. randomizes it so now there's a SUPER FUCKING COOL SPACE BETH RUNNING AROUND BEING BADASS and her own dad doesn't know which one is the original. top 10 most pathetic rick moments. the toilet episode good lord rick has a special planet where he shits and some alien guy finds his special shitter and rick gets really mad at him. the guy tries to make friends but rick refuses until guy Dies and then it's sad. it's sad. pissmaster episode? EVEN FUCKING SADDER it's like rick has a bunch of random enemies that bother him pissmaster being one of them jerry fuckin Destroys him and it's so humiliating that pissmaster. kills himself and his daughter's looking for him and it pulls at rick's weak spot so he. dresses up. as pissmaster. and sets up this fucking. suicide mission where he saves people from a bomb but dies in the process to kinda. give pissmaster a. proper sendoff. give his daughter closure. you know. it was SAD OK!!!! IT WAS REALLY GOOOOD

#JUST WATCH RICK AND MORTY EVERYONE GIVE IT A CHANCE I SWEAR THE REDDIT BROS ARE WRONG #ask

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neganium · 1 year

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1 and 7 for the ask meme 👀

Hrmmmm. If I answer the first one, nobody would know what the hell I was talking about, anyways... But uh. I have a good one, I think; particularly bc this apparently became canon in an even more obscure sequel series to Kaitou Joker, Kaitou Shounen Jokers (Kaitou Boy Jokers); it's a nextgen story, so right off the bat we're in dangerous territory of potentially ruinous proportions. These kinds of things are always very hit or miss. The biggest issue I have with it, though (other than characters from the previous series barely making cameos at all, in spite of presumably being at least tangentially relevant to the plot as legacy characters, and one of my absolute favorites apparently not appearing at all, even so much as a mention as far as I am aware), is that to facilitate the existence of who is basically the main character, i.e. the previous titular character's son, they paired said character off with a a girl who is basically his sister in the original narrative. 😬

Like, they are not blood relatives (as far as is told, which, the manga in particular isn't really heavy on details bc the author wrote it by the seat of his ass nearly the entire decade-long run, barring a couple of exceptions; really the anime is a lot better irt a cohesive storyline), but like... I remember reading somewhere (and this is hearsay, so like... idk man, it's apocryphal at best but) that the author himself once described them as being like brother and sister, as opposed to a romantic relationship. And then he went and shoved them together for some kind of comphet nonsense, even tho there were at least a few other characters he could have potentially paired off with him if the comphet bullshit was really mandatory (including one that old posts in the tag speculated was the most likely suspect before the series properly released, but instead got paired with a character who is like 8 in the main series when she herself is clearly closer to Joker's- the main character's- age, which isn't clearly defined but is estimated to be somewhere in his early to mid-teens due to a comment by the author; bc Bee Puns, ig); but no, set him up with his own goddamn sister, why don't you. Fucking nasty asses.

As for seven, ah... maybe?? I have a lot of issues with Astro Boy nowadays. I don't outright hate it, tho, I don't think. Then there is uh, Roppu-kun? I barely know anything about that one, but it was kind of soured for me after a random falling out with the one other person I knew who also liked it (at the time, anyways; I suspect they were being petty about smth I said to them in private, about how they were behaving publically- as in, I got blocked, and it took me a few days to realize it LMAO). Pretty neutral towards it now, tho.

Honestly after learning something about my more recent obsession, Kaitou Joker (or more like, confirmation about something I was beginning to suspect/dread; went into that a bit on the catchall sideblog iirc), it came dangerously close to killing that for me. It still has the power, actually, if I think about it too much... Shit's already pretty tainted, after learning about what just the fans liked to do to these characters. Yick.

If I am not entirely coherent rn, it's bc I'm pretty seriously sleep-deprived and therefore having a hard time keeping my run-on sentences in check. Apologies.

#nobody else I'm friends with proper outside of the one server gives a shit about KJ or my salt irt it #but damn if that'll stop me from word vomiting about it‚ I suppose

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lailarain · 3 years

Text

Spoilers for TBHK

TW: Mentions of s3xu@l åss@ult/@buse, $uicidə and bl00d

Episode 1:

I just finished episode 1 of Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun(Weird title, I know), and I just have to say...

I love Hanako and Nene and I will protect them both with my life🥰

Episode 2:

WOAH Hanako wyd😳

I kinda ship Hanako and Nene tho lol don't attack me

AYO THERE'S AN EYE UNDER YOUR DESK

Wait did Hanako steal her books or was it that eye thingy🤨

The title spelt faires wrong

OH SHOOT THE SCALES

Wait NO DON'T FALL FOR IT NENE IT'S BAIT

YES MA BOI HANAKO TO THE RESCUE

Wait are Yousei from japanese legend, like yokai or oni?

Okay I DEFINITELY SHIP THESE TWO

Wait why does Hanako look kinda said when she says that

awwww Hanako🥺

Wait what is he talking about who was his friend before

Nene is awesome istg🥺

WAIT WHO IS THE BLONDE DUDE WHY IS HE LOOKING FOR HANAKO NO

"I wish a hot guy who fall out the sky for me that way" girl Hanako is literally RIGHT there

Omfg this orange hair f-boy🤨

Wait WASN'T THAT THE NAME OF HER CRUSH

Hanako just standing there like 😐

WAIT NO LEAVE HANAKO ALONE

He tried to not swear in front of her lol

HOLDUP MA PRECIOUS BABY BOI DID NOT MURDER SOMEONE WTF

HOW DARE HE SAY THAT NO ONE WANTS HANAKO AROUND

Jesus Hanako is so cute lol

I honestly can't tell if hanako is an owo boy or a bruh boy istg

OKAY CAN SOMEONE TELL WHO THIS WEIRD RADOI LADY IS AND WHY SHE KEEPS SHOWING UP AT THE END OF THE EPISODE

Episode 3:

(That one part in the intro) Step-yellow sillouette, what you doing😳

For real tho Hanako looks pretty scared during that part of the intro why are they biting his ear(maybe Hanako was a victim of s3xu@l assault?)

Wait isn't Hanako the 7th of the 7 Wonders

Okay that's kinda gross😟

Okay Aoi is pretty sweet😌

WAIT NO AOI SHE WAS TOO PRECIOUS

NO AOI BETTER NOT BE GONE

NO NOT THE BLOOD

What is she talking about he's not hot at all🤨

OH SHOOT IS HE A GHOST

Okay can minamoto leave Hanako alone🙄

Awww Hanako is half hto and half cute I might be a simp

OKAY WOAH THIS PLACE IS COOL

I mean Hanako has a good point😳

NO DON'T ANSWER IT

OKAY WOAH DON'T ASK SOME HIGH SCHOOLER TO GO COLLECT YOUR BODY PARTS NOPE

Okay WOAH how old are you exactly, Hanako?

Okay this fantasy is making me uncomfortable😀

Girl, you're already cute. You don't need to be a Miu Iruma lookalike to find love

THE BOOBS LMAOO😭😭😭😭😭

Awwww Hanako being sweet to Nene🥺

YES HANAKO SAVING THE DAY

Wait why didn't she answer his question🤨

Wait who WAS making those phone calls?

WAIT THE EPISODE IS ALREADY OVER?!?!?!?

Episode 4:

Okay but for real WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE YELLOW SILHOUETTE AND HANAKO IN THE INTRO?!?!?!

Wait I just noticed that in the part with the yellow silhouette, Hanako is tied up with rope😳

Okay here's my theory:

When Hanako was alive, he was a student at the school. He was s3xu@lly a$$aulted in the bathroom, and muđəred his attacker out of anger/mental instability, therefore cursing him to the bathroom he was assaulted in. He became a ghost to make up for his sins.

Idk I could be totally off-base

HOLY FUCK IT'S A HEAD

IT'S THE BODY LMAOOO

Wait she actually likes it🤨

HOLY SHIT EWWWWWW

WAIT WHAT NO NOT AOI

WHAT THE FUCK NOOOOOO NOT AOI

WAIT YES AOI ISN'T DEAD

Hanako is so sweet istg.

HANAKO REALLY JUST PUSHED HER OFF THE EDGE LIKE A PSYCHOPATH AJAGRKEBDUDBD

Can she not spell or something🤨

WAIT WAS THE GHOST A STUDENT OF MISAKI

Wait she had a crush on her teacher that's so gross

Oh no. The student didn't know Misaki was murdered🥺

WAIT NO THIS IS SAD

OH SHOOT THAT IS DARK

aww she misses the teacher🥺

YES HANAKO MY BOY

WAIT HANAKO NO HE'S HURT

Nene is really fed up😳

WAIT WHAT NO SHE'S GONNA DIE?!?!?!?!

Awwww poor girl🥺

Why'd she have to die😭

Little Fox is mean😑

WAIT DID HE JUST KISS HER YES BABY

WAIT WHO'S THAT GREEN-HAIR GIRL

HE FORGOT ABOUT MINAMOTO LMAOOO😭

Episode 5:

Okay BUT WHO IS GRABBING HANAKO IN THE INTRO ISTG

LMAO SHE WAS FANTASIZING😭😭😭

Okay but she's SO pretty with her in a braid

Are you sure there was NOTHING good about that😏

YES AOI MY GIRL GIVING HER GOOD ADVICE

But I doubt Hanako would admit it

WAIT DID HANAKO PLANT THAT TREE OR AM I PARANOID

I'm excited to see how THIS plays out😁

HANAKO WHAT DID YOU SAYYYYY

WAIT IS HE REALLY GONNA DO IT

WAIT ARE THESE BITCHES GAYYYYYY

Wait what if the tree curses people

GIRL ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT HANAKO ISN'T HOT AS IS!?!?!?

WAIT YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS THIS IS SO COOL

WAIT WHAT'S THE CATCH

Of course he didn't actaully mean it THIS SUCKS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE'S HOLDING HER I REPEAT HE'S HOLDING HER

poor Nene

WAIT OH NO SHE'S CRYING

WAIT DOES HE ACTUALLY LIKE HER

HE'S BLUSHING WHAT

YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSSS

WAIT HE'S RIGHT THERE

I was right they have the same last name!

WAIT THIS BITCH BETTER NOT COME BETWEEN HANAKO AND NENE

CAN THIS BITCH SHUT UP

TERU STOP IT RN

Okay I kinda feel bad for Kou rn🥺

HOW IS HE ANY OF THOSE THINGS

Wait who is that girl🤨

YES I WANNA FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HANAKO

THE GREEN HAIR GIRL AND NATSU-SOMETHING ARE UP TO NO GOOD I CAN FEEL IT

Wait WHY WAS HANAKO SMILING

I have a bad feeling about this.

Episode 6:

Yeah Hanako really seems like the good guy🤨

WOAH what's up with the door?

I love the Mokkes🥺

It's her book😶

WOAH OKAY THEN SHE REALLY IS IN LOVE

WAIT WHY IS THERE BLOOD

HOLDUP HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT

HANAKO MA BOI

WOAH OKAY YES HE'S HOLDING HER

DID HE JUST EAT THE BUTTERFLY

God I love Hanako

WAIT YOU'RE GONNA CANCEL THE WHAT NOW

Ooooooo I wanna heae some juicy secrets😏

Girl, that secret wasn't juicy at all🙄

Wait what does the library ghost know🤨

SAY SOMETHING HANAKO YES

He's so cute tho

BUT I LOVE DONUTS TOO HOW IS THAT JUICY

HANAKO YOU WERE LOOKING REAL PROTECTIVE OF HER THEN😏😏😏

I feel bad for Nene because they keep saying her legs are fat, as if the boys that say that are gonna get any better. NENE IS A FREAKIN CATCH😤😤😤

Wait what is he talking about Hanako😶

WAIT HE IS TALKING ABOUT HANAKO, ISN'T HE

WAIT HANAKO WAS HIS STUDENT HE'S SO CUTE

Awwwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺

WAIT HANAKO ISN'T EVEN HIS NAME!??!?!? IT'S YUGI?!?!?!?

Awwwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Wait, so did Hanako commit $uicidə, or am I just paranoid?

Wait so that means that happened on the day of July 15, 1969.......SO HOW OLD IS HANAKO AGAIN?!?!?!?!?

WAIT SO HE NEVER GOT HIS DREAM TO COME TRUE BECAUSE HE DIED THAT'S SO SAD

Wait so am I right DID HE REALLY COMMIT $UICIDƏ ?!?!?!?

I THINK HANAKO SMELLS A SNITCH

Man this is a lot to unpack for just one episode

Episode 7:

I love how childish Hanako is

WAIT I SAW THE YELLOW SILOUETTE THING AGAIN AND I HAVE A THOUGHT:

What if Hanako got those bruises because of the səxua| ass@ult thing I said before? That would make sense.

Idk maybe I'm just too obsessed with that theory

I see Hanako differently after the Library too, but in a different way.

What why the donuts?

He's totally lying. I bet he's gonna make some for Hanako🥺

Okay but Kou is actually pretty sweet

I mean, if he DID murder someone who bullied him, they had it coming for touching my precious Hanako😤

Yous shouldn't stop being friends with someone just because it's complicated. ALL friendships are complicated. It isn't supposed to be easy.

Awwww Nene🥺🥺🥺

Okay I'm kinda hungry for donuts now

Ugh it's Teru🙄

Okay KOU YOU'RE ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL

Okay Teru YOU SUCK SO MUCH

SO ARE THE GREEN HAIR AND NASTU-SOMETHING BIY EVIL OR NOT I'M SO CONFUSED

Hanako is so cute sometimes istg

POOR HANAKO OOF

YES NENE😤😤

THEY ARE BLUSHING I REPEAT THEY ARE BLUSHING

"You're totally not my type" okay first of all that is bullshit and second of all get yourself a boy who's chill when you say you don't like them

OKAY WHAT'S GOING ON

HE'S GOLDING HER

Wait why does Hanako look terrified that's not good

HOLDUP WHO DID HE KILL WHY IS THERE AN AD RIGHT WHEN IT'S ABOUT TO SAY WHO HE KILLED

WOAH WHO THE FUCK IS THAT WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE HANAKO WHAT IS GOING ON AHDVEKDVEIDVDJ

GET YOUR HAND OFF OF HIS FACE THIS GUY TOTALLY $EXU@LLY @SSAULTED HIM

YES NENE PROTECT YOUR MAN

HOLY SHIT HE'S BURNING

DID HE REALLY JUST RE-TRAUMATIZE HANAKO AND THEN LEAVE?!?!?!?

WAIT WHAT IS HANAKO DOING

WAIT HE'S CRYING

HANAKO WHAT'S WRONG

I WANNA GIVE HANAKO A HUG SO BADLY ISTG

WAIT SO THERE'S THE ONES CHANGING THE RUMORS?

OKAY WHO IS THIS BITCH

Wait THAT'S HIS BROTHER WHY DID HE KILL HIS BROTHER

This partially denies the possiblity of my theory(MOSTLY denies it), but not entirely. There's a big chance I'm wrong.

WAIT SO SAKURA IS THE ONE DOING THE RADIO THING?!?!?!

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺

I have a feeling that that is probably jsut a random student😅

Hanako, I hate it when you're sad😭😭😭

WAIT SO HIS EARRING WAS FOR TRAFFIC SAFETY THE WHOLE TIME LMAOOOOO

OKAY WOAH BACK UP GHOST-PERSON

KOU IS NOT A M0ŁƏ$TER

Wait that was the whole episode?

Episode 8:

Okay the person @ssaulting(maybe even $exua||y @$$aulting idk I think I'm just obsessed with that theory) in the intro is definitely his brother

Mitsuba is kinda weird and annoying, but also funny at the same time

Excuse me Traffic safety is no joke😐

WAIT SO HE KNEW MITSUBA AND JUST FORGOT?!?!?!?

Awwww Mitsuba🥺🥺🥺🥺

No Mitsuba you're cool

KOU WHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING

AWWWWW THIS IS SO SWEET

MITSUBA I SEE YOU BLUSHING😏😏😏😏

MITSUBA NOOOOOOOOOO

TSUKASA STOP IT

NO POOR MITSUBA STOP IT

HOW DARE THEY

NOOOOOO MITSUBA AAAAAAAA

OKAY IMA BOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH TSUKASA, WHO'S WITH ME😤😤😤😤

TSUKASA YOU SICK SEDUCER STOP LYING TO MITSUBA

NOOOOOOOOO MITSUBA

POOR HANAKO LEAVE HIM ALONE TSUKASA

Okay "Let's play together like we used to" really sounds like $exu@l @$$ault

Kou🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Awwww Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

NO THIS ISN'T THE WAY MITSUBA SHOULD GO OUT NO

I'm am so close to crying rn

OH KOU JUST REALIZED WHAT HE WAS TAKING A PHOTO OF AWWWWW

Okay wow all of that really happened in one episode

Episode 9:

I'm sorry that I won't shut up about my theory BUT THAT ONE PART REALLY LOOKS LIKE WHAT I THINK IT IS I SWEAR

I feel so bad for Hanako rn tho

Omfg It's Natsuhiko🙄

Nene stop it this dude is BAD NEWS

WAIT NO THEY BETTER NO DO ANYTHING TO MY PRECIOUS NENE ISTG

I HAVE THE SAME QUESTIONS, NENE

FRIENDS MY ASS

(To be continued here because I ran out of space)

#tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun

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saint-gerard-of-arc · 6 years

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Make a list of your fav artists who are gay or into bdsm (or both lmao) I'm genuinely curious

Omg lmao I didn’t expect someone would ask that but yeah let’s start with Roggo Woggo over there in the post below. As I mentioned in the tags, I was actually thinking about that a couple if days ago and I was like “hrrnn I wonder if Roger would be a dom or a sub” but I guess I don’T fUCKING neED TO wONdER anYMORE since apparently he’s a huge sub???

Another one who is DEADASS into BDSM is James Hetfield. Like, I don’t even think I need to explain why just look at that fucking face and him wanting to be called Master (there’s also the evidence of him bringing a black bandana on his right side of the pants which usually means one’s a top in BDSM in the handkerchief code)

Kirk Hammett is a bi icon and also a kinky little shit but I still don’t know if he’s sub or dom (most probably he’s a switch because everything about him is ambiguous lmao)

Billie Joe Armstrong is quite evidently a bi sub icon too (same thing of James with the handkerchief code but since he’s bottom he actually does wear a black bandana on his left (I wish I could link all the stuff but I’m on mobile rn fjfhfjgk but if you’re curious of what I’m talking about there’s a wiki page))

Nikki Sixx was very probably into BDSM at least for a period in his life. All I have to make that assumption are some lyrics he wrote for the Dr. Feelgood album. Hell, Sticky Sweet literally talks about this lady who makes him shiver when she calls his name and then apparently she slaps his ass (lucky girl) when he’s been a good boy, and that song alone is enough for me to think that he’s a HUUUge bottom

Tommy Lee is a kinky foot fetishist bottom switch (maybe bi too? I have seen pics of him kissing boys and he actually kisses Nikki A LOT, but idk who wouldn’t want to kiss Nikki after all)son of a bitch and I don’t know how I couldn’t realize it earlier tbh

Dave Mustaine has this weird habit of choking people, has a superiority complex and probably makes the other band members call him daddy (Kiko is his slave bf thing)

Freddie Mercury as we all know was bi and if I found out he was into bondage I wouldn’t be remotely surprised

…and that’s all of them I can think of. Sorry if it’s all over the place lmao and also I wish I could link some posts/pages/whatever that made me get these assumptions

And yeah BTW, just to make it clear, there are ALL assumptions by me. There’s actually no proof that I am aware of that could confirm my theories (except for Billie Joe and James with their handkerchief bullshit), so don’t take any of my words for granted!!

#witchy's ask booth #thank you kind sir

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hoenursey · 7 years

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Hi, can I ask the I guess story of Othello real quick even just a summary if you don't want to go in depth because I was excited about hearing about it, but then I was also really thrown off seeing Othello being a slave and all and now I'm just kinda confused?? Because Nursey in silk with a choking kink DOES sound amazing but I guess I'm just confused af now

lmao, okay, so. originally i was writing just an au of nursey and dex playing desdemona and othello, respectively. however, othello’ character background is that he was a former slave and a moorsman, or a person from the moor, and moorsmen are black people.

the beginning of othello starts with roderigo and iago outside of the house of brabantion, desdemona’s father. roderigo is jealous of othello because he’s in love with desdemona and she pretty much turned everyone down and she’s like dainty and pretty and hot as fuck, like the most beautiful fair girl ever and shit, but she’s falling in love with othello. also i’m pretty sure roderigo saw her and othello chilling or w/e. so basically, in the middle of the fuckening night, roderigo and iago start yelling to brabantion to come outside and talk to them. brabantion is generally a pretty cool dad and he’s like “bitch she doesn’t like u stop getting drunk and coming to my house my daughter turned ur ass down already”, rod and iago proceed to say a bunch of racist shit and say “check her bed she’s out being a slut with a black dude lol” to which dadbra says “she would never she’s so sweet and she’s also turned down literally everyone who’s ever wanted to date her” but desi, my girl, is actually gone from her bed, so dadbra is like “you’re right!!! i can’t believe my daughter is fucking around before marriage in the middle of the night!!! i trusted her!!! time to go chase after othello, who i welcomed into my house, with a bunch of pitchforks” which they do. they show up to othello’s crib like “what’s up here’s our accusations time to throw you in jail for fucking my daughter because if she turned down all the hot dudes in the entire city she’s definitely not gonna fuck a black dude out of wedlock unless there was some type of witchcraft involved” to and othello is like “uhh okay cool i’m dealing with the house of senators rn so like. can this wait a second my dudes” and they’re like “perfect! we’re gonna show them what a terrible black dude you are!”

they go in front of the senators and they’re like “what’s the sitch why is this angry mob here my dude” dadbra is like “uh he fucked my daughter, i’m sending him to jail for witchcraft or kidnapping bc there’s literally no other way she’d fuck a black dude when she doesn’t even like these hot white dudes”

othello’s like “uh actually i married her”

everyone: “what”

and he kind of explains like “buddy yeah i’m not super good with words so i’m not gonna bs you. i married your daughter. no kidnapping, drugging, or witchcraft. she fell in love with me and so now we’re married. she’s at the inn down the street also so like i’m def not fucking her since we’re at my house and she’s at a hotel”

everyone except dadbra is like “oh okay that sounds reasonable” but dadbra is like “you’re telling me that my good white upper class daughter fell in love with a black dude who she’d be afraid to look at? i’m calling bullshit it’s clearly witchcraft”

the duke p much is like “uh… but where’s the receipts tho i don’t see any witchcraft” and the senators are like “go get desdemona so we can confirm this also othello bro keep talking”

othello’s like “yeah i was a warrior and i travelled a lot and dadbra used to like me a lot so he invited me over to hear my stories about the wars and how i fought and battles and being on ships. i told him my entire life story from when i was a kid all the way until now, how i was captured and sold as a slave, how i bought my own freedom and just all types of cool shit and then when she did her chores around the house for dadbra she would come around as soon as she finished and ask me more and ask me to tell her more stories” essentially desi thinks he’s hot and a tragic hero and she’s like “everything that happened to you sucks but you’ve also got some sick ass stories so maybe that makes it a little better? idk sorry all this bad shit happened to you but you’re rly interesting to talk to. if any friends had any stories like yours i’d probably fall in love with them”

othello’s like “yeah uh i’m not that smart and i’m more of a military dude than an intellectual but i know a fucking hint when i see one”

he says the sweetest thing too like “she loved me for the horrors i had been through and that i had the strength to come out on top, and i loved her for feeling so strongly about me and having passion. here comes my wife now and she’ll tell you the exact same story”

desi comes in and is like “yeah dad sorry i shouldn’t have like run out in the middle of the night to get married but i really do love him promise no messing around”

and this is part of the reason i think brabantion is kinda cool bc he’s not actually a racist he just said some shit without rly thinking and let the things that he’s used to hearing influence him and he’s like “oh, well, you’re in love. that’s fine then sorry i didn’t realize. i’m super glad you’re my only daughter because after this whole disaster, if you’d had any younger sisters i know i would have overreacted and acted like a prison warden to them and women don’t deserve that. i’m still a little upset abt u sneaking out in the middle of the night but like blessings on your marriage i guess.

so that’s like…. act one

later on some fuckery happens, iago decides to be a dick, because they’re all together for some reason that i don’t feel like saying idk something abt the turks and also because he’s a miserable worm

cassio is one of their friends who’s also there and he’s, like, some type of foreign i think (probably spanish or italian) and has respect for women and his wife (who’s not there) but bc he’s spanish or italian (probably italian as verona is mentioned and shakespeare REALLY has a thing abt italy??? idk he’s a pasta fucker) or whatever he does the thing where he kisses people on the cheek and because it’s the elizabethan era, he kisses women’s hands, and earlier he had like politely greeted desdemona and iago’s wife and called them beautiful and smart and shit and called iago out on being a misogynistic piece of shit. iago like actively hates his wife and also literally anyone else’s happiness so he’s like i’m gonna fuck up cassio’s life and i’m gonna fuck up othello and desi’s and also he’s a jealous racist misogynistic asshole wants to fuck up othello and desdemona’s (healthy, loving, trusting, equal) relationship so he’s like

"hey othello. ur wife’s a slut. she’s fucking cassio behind ur back lol”

and othello, who thinks his wife is the shit, is like *daveed diggs voice* “whaaaaat”

iago: “yeah totes she’s a massive hoe”

and othello is like “nah not my wife. maybe someone else’s wife, but not mine”

and iago is like “no bro im serious. we’re sleeping in the same bed (i don’t know why i mean his fucking wife is there isn’t she) he’s been having like wet dreams about her and saying ‘damn i wish u weren’t with that black dude’ and he’s been rolling over in his sleep and dry humping me whilst moaning ur wife’s name” (honestly iago the reason you don’t like women is because you’re gay and jealous calm down)

(literally that was so extra i can’t believe how overwhelmingly bisexual shakespeare was that he needed to slide that gay ass shit in there)

anyways othello’s like “okay so that’s a little weird but that doesn’t mean she did anything. maybe cassio just wants to bang my wife. that’s understandable, as id also like to bang my wife” (they’re super into PDA they’re so in love)

iago: fair. also iago: i mean there’s no way to prove it but like… maybe your wife gave him something. like, idk, does she have a hand embroidered handkerchief maybe? just a thought just a thought lolothello: ya i gave that to her as like a courtship gift she never goes anywhere without it bc she loves me so muchiago: yeah well uh i cassio wiping his beard with it so they’re definitely fuckingothello, my dumb son: NO!!! THAT DEFINITELY MEANS THEYRE FUCKING IF MY WIFE GAVE AN ITEM OF GREAT SENTIMENTAL AND PERSONAL SIGNIFICANCE TO HIM!!! MY ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY FAITHFUL AND COMPLETELY INNOCENT UP UNTIL THIS POINT WIFE!!!!

so he’s like “uh i have to kill her i guess now :(((((((”

problem is he’s still fucking in love with her like he literally loves her so much and can’t even bear to stab her like a normal person would do if they’re trying to kill their wife, so what does he do? he fucking kisses her awake to explain what he’s doing and why he’s doing it and then gently smothers her to death

so gently, in fact, that she doesn’t actually die, just passes out

a servant walks in and is like “boi what the FUCK”

othello: uh

it’s desi’s handmaiden lmao and he’s like “i had to she’s fucking other men” to which she says “no she’s not you idiot” and then desdemona wakes up to say something dramatic and then properly dies

except no she doesn’t bc othello literally is just really really fucking in love with his wife so he’s an incredibly ineffective murderer despite literally having been in the military for almost all of his life but that’s all i’m explaining bc my hands are tired and i answered this all on mobile plus that’s all you need to know for my story

#othello #aus #anonyomous #fic talk #asks

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