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#or like he knew on some level but didnt rly have the words for it cuz that happens to probably. most ppl. it might be a little different
matoitech · 1 year
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i think realistically galo would not get phallo before promare events cuz this guy had no money and he knew zero people, who was helping him how did he get the money. its possible he couldve gotten the money/insurance from kray but kray wouldve held that shit over his head until the day he died and also i dont think galo wanted to talk abt bottom surgery with his like conservative adoptive father figure whose too busy to ever see him lmao. phallo after promare events for him i can see tho i think itd be after he met n got w lio. i don’t believe in like, got all the surgeries he wanted before he was 21/22. that timeline is way too quick w him starting transitioning stuff after 18. of course SOME ppl can do that, but i think galo had a lot of shit going on that wouldve made that tougher lol
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bigmack2go · 5 months
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I dont like the headcannon of davey being jewish.
Why? I am glad you asked!
Now listen dont get me wrong here!
Representation is so important especially for religions because in that department even the most popular ones r being bullied these days and then that religion isnt just any but the most hated one in history. The religion that was blamed for practically anything bad that has happened in the last 500-1000 years. In ww|| children didn’t even know this WAS a religion. In Germany they were taught that the word “jew” stood for a monster, like the wird rabbit stands for an animal. Idk if this makes sense but they LITTERALLY didn’t know any better which i personally find makes it worse. The ppl KNEW that they were wrong, and that they couldn’t convince poursouled children of anything unless they made up lies. The thing those children hated was justified. Anyone would hate a monster that only brings evil upon us. But they conected it to a name that describes something else.(the movie jojo rabit brings this accross extremely well and truthfull! It’s available on netflix and i think on prime!) And thats the problem. They knew they were wrong but they needed someone to blame for their own failures and problems. ANd WhO bEtTeR tHaN tHe OnEs ThAt HaVe BeeN aT bLamE fOr ThE pAsT 700 YeaRs???
This began with the germanians spreading Christianity around Europe when jews were still a majority. It was generally a seen as a sin to get along with a Christian, and as we all know in the middle age there have been some babaric events towarts (but also by) religious ppl.
In thirteen-sixty-something the thing got to a whole new level when in (i think it was italy but idk) a fountain was moisted with bacteria and brought back black plague for a lot of people, which obviously got word all around the world quickly. And with that obviously also rumours. The thing is that those rumors were LOADED.
Thats how the hatred toward jews specifically began. People thought they were witches that poisoned their food causing them all to get sick.
(Sry i didnt mean for this to turn into a history lesson hahaha)
So yeah. Representation is so important and I totally stand behind that!
That being said however i genuinely don’t like it with Davey and here’s why:
Im have no problem with the headcannon itself and obv not with people having thah headcannon. What bucks me is how that came to be.
It just feels sooo cliche taking the one character named david jacobs and saying he’s jewish.
I mean
Seriously
David jacobs
David. Jacobs.
David and jacob (lemme guess his sisters name is sarah hAHa- oh wait-)
Like it might be just me but that’s loaded with stereotype.
This might sound weird and/or mean but i genuinely get the feeling, the only reason ppl hc him as jewish is his name.
On top of that theres the fact that i generally just feel like its forced at this point. Again. I stand for representation with everything in me. but people just decided (rather than felt/knew) they needed to represent jewish folks and picked out ONE (1) (s i n g u l a r) character (LITTERALLY NAMED DAVID JACOBS!! Idk if u can tell but im getting rly worked up abt this)and said his family is jewish.
(Then if course theres the fact that i cant deal with the fact that he would have been killed at least in wa|| if not earlier due to being an non-arian jew but he prolly would be killed in one of the worldwars anyway so thats not much of an argument lol)
THATS IT! TYSM if u read this completely!
I also wanna take the opportunity to compell everyone to support palestina!!!!! I’ll put some links down below!
As a Christian i am lucky enough to not be bothered with shit by people i cant deal with but not everyone has that! So here’s just a gerneral reminder to educate and support people of any minority!!!
I will put some links so u can read up about the history of discrimination towards religion and jews!⬇️⬇️
1 Wikipedia article generally summarising antisemit!sm
2 definition
3 antisemit!sm+ history of rivalry between Christianity & Judaism
4 on discrimination and hate/ harassment towards religions in school and workplaces
5 discrimination WITHIN religion
6 some facts
7 using religion as an excuse to BE descriminating
8 read about judaism as a religion, rules and beliefs
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videostak · 9 months
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i hate that i spent like idk the whole past year of 2023 sorta slowly healing myself piece by piece and also just slowly making little progress getting a job driving learning to be content w/ what happened and then when i see them again just feeling so out of place and just ashamed to exist like :/ like was rly made to feel like i was a genuinely worthless person who didnt even deserve the time of day in that friendship while also being given like constant fake reassurance abt actually bieng a close friend of theirs anytime id like try to confront them abt the way i had been treated and then to just get ghosted after a 3 yeear freindship sooo shitty and tht sucks obv but what makes it worse is that i kno she like def did it because she knew no one cared abt me so no one would give a fuck if i even did bring up her shitty behavior like lol. so weird being idk inducteed into a friend group of ppl who def think ur ugly n a loser but are too fake to say so to ur face and just act alarmingly fake to u. like i rly wonder how they rationalize it in all their heads like its one thing to be treated shittily and fake by one person but a whole group of them u'd think one of them would pull me aside or msg me being like hey we kinda dont like u but insteaed they were fake and not even like putting up w/ me fake but like overtly kind and positive in a way i totally suspected w/ some of the more overtly rude ones lol. liiike i rly do wonder how they rationalize it i guess kinda just being like oh well he was ugly and had no taste of fashion so he deserved it lol like its so idk. like scary cause they all had a faux positivtiy progressiveness to them and theered be times where id be like oh thats kinda red flaggy when theyd drop lil hints at awful behavior but id always brush it aside as smthn they were genuinely working on to remove and to better themselves (anytime id call them out for their behavior theyd avoid accountability by saying they were going to therapy for it and overall blame it on bad mental health which put me in a rly rly fucked situation not wanting to be a person who stops being friends w/ someone cause of mental health issues so i would just always 100% take her word for it even tho she'd treat her actual friends one hundred times better than she did me lol) like so many angles of it being fucked i wish i could just call them out or that one of their friends or any1 they knew would reach out to me saying they were also treated similarly but like the fucked reality is probably that not a single one of their friends gave a shit abt me since day one and could care less abt the way i was treated. like just so insane on so many levels cause it was like so quickly escalated into a close friendship and shed constantly bring up collaborating artistically n musically and would liteerally even come over sometimes just so we could work on music she wrote lol and then like go silent after i contributed something i guess she thouhgt was good lol and would invite me to TONS of shit then would go silent when id actually take her up on her offer and aks for like specifics of where the place she invited me was n stuff. like liteereally invited to dj sets n to go w/ her to record stuff in a studio and stuff like just so insanaaaane who even says that like if u genuinely dont give af abt some1 why constantly drip feed them random shit to them unprompted. just sooo fucked like no half assed apology message after it all or anything just like the moment i was out of her life she moved on just like that while i was still confused abt whatt the hell was even going on. have no idea how to avoid friendships like these but everytime i geet into one it just makes me feel so isolated from like every1 else in the world. i guess this could stop once i get a job with ppl i get along w/ who are my age or once i start taking college classes again. but just so insane i feel like only 1 or 2 of the friendships ive had have been actually normal positive effects on my life every other one is some rly awful person who acts crazy overly nice
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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years
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Tbh i find it rly funny how other shippers have started to feel threatened ever since lets bts and have started camping on vminie twts. Like it was a sincere statement from tae and even us vminies wont take it as a love confession or anything. But these other shippers, i get feeling threatened or sad but how does attacking other shippers make their ship anymore real. I m also seeing some toxic taejinners which i m shocked i didnt know they were like that. Anyway i guess even vminnies need to be
More level headed and not go into delusions. Yes it was a very sweet and very genuine statement but that doesnot prove that vmin are a real couple. It jist proves what we always knew that vmin are precious to each other and have a very deep bond. So i hope vminnies wont become cocky and be toxic to other shippers. Please do consider posting this ask bcoz i m seeing some vminnies getting swept up in their own thoughts.
I do mostly agree, and I’ve also seen this new very aggressive wave coming at vminnies from other shippers in the last two days, though admittedly that wave has been steadily building for quite a while now. I’ll never understand that mentality, since ship w*rs are one of the most pointless things you can engage in since, like you pointed out anon, even if one shipper camp “wins” against another, that won’t change reality and their ship won’t magically become real or more valid or anything like that. As ARMY we should appreciate every bond within BTS, regardless if it’s a bond we think has potential of being romantic or is “merely” platonic. All their bonds are wonderful after all.
But, what Admin 2 and I find even more alarming in all of this is the literal tsunami of hate and toxicity that’s been happening against Tae since Let’s BTS. It’s happening on all sns platforms and it’s just truly vile and crosses all the lines and then some. When you check the profiles to which those posts belong, it’s quite easy to tell that they are either solos or “believers” of other ships who very much did not enjoy Tae’s words, or Jimin’s to Tae.
What can we do? Well, we can’t police how people will behave on sns, can’t police and watch every Vminnie and somehow get them to “behave”, that’s simply not realistic. The bigger a “fandom” grows, the harder it becomes to control it and make sure everyone stays rational and doesn’t get swept up in petty fights and other stupid things. The bigger the “fandom”, the more likely it is that you’ll find a few bad apples even if the bigger part of it all is rational and chill. The only thing we can do, realistically, is pay attention to our own mindset, to not allow ourselves to drift off into delulu land in such a manner that we, too, turn into “believers” preaching conspiracy theories and spinning crazy speculations. If we want to be delulu, we should always remember to put our hats on (just in case), make that clear to the people reading our posts/tweets, and remember that none of us, regardless of whichever ship we like, will ever know if any of our thoughts are true unless the members themselves tell us.
As long as we remain rational, stick to facts and quotes that we have sources and actual, factual “evidence” for, instead of just making things up to fit our narrative, we should be okay. Besides, even just taking Tae’s words to Jimin about how he likes him the most at face value is overwhelmingly sweet, genuine and impossibly sincere, and shows how beautiful their bond is.
The only true advice I have is this: don’t give in to any ship w*rs. If other shippers come into your space and try to mess with you, ignore them. The block button is truly your best friend, or if too many come at you, go private and wait it out. Don’t try to argue or reason with them because regardless of what you’ll say, and how solid your “proof” is, they won’t care. They just want you to react, want your attention. They want to feel powerful by seeing you bow down to them, by getting you to eventually give up. Or, which I’ve also seen, they’ll take your observations about vmin and make them their own, claim their ship does that, too, or that they’re the only ones with which that’s true. Even if it isn’t. And if you see something that crosses the line into pure hate, or purposeful(ly) misleading/misrepresentation of things in a way that is really harmful, report it. 
Eventually, if you don’t give them attention, they’ll give up because it’ll stop being entertaining.
A little addition from an anon we just received and I agree with:
what is saddest for me is how those people who claim to be fans do not accept tae’s sincere words and decide twist it to fits their narrative. for how many years tae and jm have been talking about how they like each other. Are they calling them them false and liars? it’s unhealthy. it's about respect. people are crossing boundaries. If vmin are all over the place is their choice. The same goes when they keep their private time to themselves.
Or when tae and jm are “always” with other members. And what we as vminie do? We respect that. Why people think they can decide what the members should or shoudnt feel about each other. They know each other for 10 years while those people claim to know them better lol. People should think more how that is insane. Anyway let’s enjoy VMIN they want us to enjoy it. because tae said 95z are love so let’s love and ignore the rest 🥰 
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@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated
onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one
onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths
onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality
onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system
onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..
onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this
Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did.  I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl. 
I think kabu and minatos relationship  is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over.   you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.
I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time
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faunusrights · 5 years
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OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 9
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oh goody!
well this is it. the Date Chapter. the chapter, in which, the Date happens. lowkey im so fucking hype for this stupid goddamn chapter AAAAAAAAAAAA this is when the sexy got kicked up about seven notches and i know its gonna be a fucking twenty from here on out so LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO
“Is this your date, Ms. Fall?” he asked.
Cinder didn’t look away from Glynda. “Mhm.”
STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GODDAMN GATE WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A SECOND TO EVEN GATHER OURSELVES JUST STRAIGHT UP HUH!!!!!!!!! ‘is this your date’ im legally dead
What the fuck.
already im fucking THRIVING im so glad this chapter’s mood got encapsulated within the first ten seconds and im definitely gonna have to re-read this chapter for the full unannotated experience OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD IM SO READY
Glynda’s thoughts ricocheted inside her head like coins left in a dryer. A part of her couldn’t understand what was happening and disengaged. The rest of her, grasping for purchase in all this, reasoned that going with Cinder was better than staying here confused, alone, and utterly displaced.
glynda ‘i aint ever had a gf before’ goodwitch at her PEAK right here. like GOD shes gone from ‘cinder’s trying to murder me’ to ‘cinder just plopped me right into a date’ like CINDER. CINDER YR CHANGING GEARS SO FAST. YOU DIDNT EVEN SEND FLOWERS OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
is it because shes a u-haul lesbian or
Higher, Glynda realized the dress itself was backless, revealing the black tattoo she’d seen so often before, perfectly centered between sharp shoulder blades.
this gay energy is BONKERS, quite frankly??????? where did cinder get her dress from? why does she have it? did she buy it just for this fuckery? or will she pull the ‘i just had a this lil number laying around’ line????????? does she wanna seduce glynda to death?????? was this PLANNED OR DID SHE JUST DECIDE SHE WANTED A DATE AND WTH LIFE REALLY IS SHORT ON REMNANT THESE DAYS?????????? cinder fall please explain your workings to the class
maybe Glynda wasn’t the only one who’d become adept at reading her opponent.
👏 when 👏 will 👏 they 👏 kiss 👏 already 👏👏👏👏
me: this is a slowburn also me: if u assholes dont give me this in the next ten seconds-
“Unarmed? As if you could be so helpless.”
cinder’s style of flirting is just. commentating on a person’s deadliness. that’s IT it’s the only TRICK SHE HAS and its working, is the thing,
im reading the description of the table and remembering the shitpost and oh my god i have to draw this???? hell IS real!!!!!! COULDNT YALL JUST TOSS EM IN A PLAIN BOX,
Cinder eyed her from her bastion of dark cushions,
cinder, ass-deep in cushions: this is peak cuddle territory come and join me
Cinder, for her part, seemed delighted Glynda had noticed. Touching the pendant more gently than Glynda might have ever thought her capable of, Cinder said,  “Yours? You didn’t seem to mind parting with it.”
im still deeply enjoying this powermove the novelty NEVER wears off (and at risk of light spoilers i do enjoy its place in this story 👀)
Cinder let the necklace drop, settling against the swell of her bust once more,
/lightly coughs 👀👀👀
im losing my MIND at how gay this bit is i physically cannot HANDLE IT and if they even describe the meal once im gonna pop off cause i am. SO HUNGRY RN. AAAAAAAAAAAA
Cinder indicated a dish of lamb and vegetables, served on a bed of rice and drizzled in some sort of sauce.
SRY THIS ISNT GAY BUT OH MY GOD IM SO HUNGRY I WANNA E A T I T THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD UGHGHGHGHGHGH WHY DID THIS CHAPTER HAVE TO BE TODAY OF ALL THE DAYS,
Glynda cleared her throat, working out: “The Grimm.”
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like. GOD WE KNOW GLYNDA IS JUST SO FUNCTIONALLY BAD AT CONVERSATION BUT OF ALL THE THINGS glynda please just. just. stop thinking abt her sexy tattoos for a fifth of a second,
“You can control them.” A sedate blink. For all the world, Glynda might have just commented on the weather.
which is a faux pas for a date!!!!!!!!!!! at least tell her the DRESS IS SEXY WE ALL KNO WHATS WHAT YR THINKIN ABT
Glancing down as though it were being pointed out to her for the first time, Cinder shrugged and adjusted the end of the glove a little higher on her bicep. “And?” 
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a quick aside im enjoying how like... visually expressive cinder is in this remaster! i can see her facial expressions and her motions really clearly in my mind’s eye which is a fun little boon if only because i have to redraw this nonsense hjsgdfjhfksgd but cinder’s got a Good Face this time around! A QUALITY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You should know by now, there’s something about you that’s simply irresistible to Grimm.”
HERE COMES THE PLOT (and a single surviving line so far... this one sentence has survived all the world could throw at it... we stan)
Cinder straightened, and Glynda saw that this was what she’d been waiting for.
“It isn’t every day the great Glynda Goodwitch kneels before her adversary, is it?”
HELLO??????????????????????????? WHATS THIS WORDING????????? honestly tho for a second i thought she meant like. quite literally and i thought id missed some PROPER SHIT RIGHT THERE BUT YEAH WTH!!!!!!! C I N D E R
“You cheated. You can’t beat me on your own.”
yes glynda we gathered that yr a top
“Really, Glynda? Poison?” she sneered, something like offense simmering in her expression. “After all this?”
looks at the camera
anyway,
god im literally losing grasp of words to say because theres such a charged mood in this scene............. theyre brushing fingers............ trading jabs.......... im slurpin it up babey!!!!!!!! this rly is the BEST remaster of this whole scene it DESERVES this wordcount!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Beat you,” Cinder corrected. “And call it a point of pride.”
yes cinder we gathered yr a brat,
this dynamic is why this fic is so fuckign good when will winter have a swift return to add even more fuckery to this wild ride
Then, with a heavy-lidded look, Cinder found Glynda’s hand between them, the touch so sudden and daring that Glynda flinched. The fabric of those gloves was smooth against Glynda’s flesh, and for all that cruelty had marked every other instance of contact between them, Cinder was surprisingly gentle.
whomp there go my nuts
WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO MADE THE EXECUTIVE CHOICE TO ADD THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????????? im losing my BRAINCELLS
What she wasn’t ready for was for Cinder to guide her hand to her own throat and hold it there.
THERE IS IT THERE’S THE KINK IT’S BEEN SPOTTED
oh my GOD what even IS THIS WHO ADDED THIS SECTION WHO ALLOWED THIS TO COME TO P A S S WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO????????? HEWWO??????????
Now… Now Cinder interested her.
tbh how can i liveblog this? what commentary can i POSSIBLY add that we arent already all THINKING. we just launched into a level of hell so deep that lucifers gonna have to pull some goddamn tricks to follow us down here!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS SCENE! THIS MOMENT! IM SCREAMING
Glynda mirrored the expression back at him, and finally, he coughed, not making strong eye contact with either of them. He set their plate before them and hurried out without so much as a check-in.
i just KNEW that was gonna happen JHGDSFGJHKSDF he was gonna walk in on SMTHNG but i didnt think itd be CINDER’S CHOKING KINK,
okay i took a break and ate my weight in roast chicken and we’re back babey
Almost nervously, her fingers carded through her own dark hair, and there, among the locks, Glynda spotted a glimpse of something white, structured and ridged.
AND I AM INSTANTLY KNOCKED BACK UPON MY ASS 👈W👈H😨A👈T👈
It was easier to ignore the rest of it—whatever it was.
glynda you are a fool and a moron im withering into DUST
On no level had she expected those to be Glynda’s words.
then what... did she expect... well probably -- and rightly so -- ‘bitch WHAT ARE THOSE’ TBH
wait sorry i have to jump back because i forgot customary fingerguns on the most brazen bit of Shit yet:
Cinder was occupying herself with something else: the head of a dragon, perched over the door and staring down at the two of them with red, glossy eyes.
👈👈👈😎👈👈👈
okay BACK TO THE FIC
Fangs snapped together around the word.
aka back to me horni
/chanting TEETH! TEETH! TE
okay but the reason i doubled back to catch that fingergun is because we’re getting ass-deep into plot now!!!!!!!!!!! WITCHES AND DRAGONS BABEY......... HERE’S WHAT OFFAL HUNT IS ALL ABT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant rly drop more fingerguns than that because any astute reader will start realising the dots im shouting abt and honestly half the fun of this fic is the ride so >:3c
“Funny. I was sure he would have told you.”
that blow was so low i think cinder hit the concrete with that one
oh god theyre gonna get to the bit and i-
“Is that what all of this has been about? You called me here to remind me that I'm autistic?”
/SCREAMS
The words were delivered firmly, calmly, but Cinder’s response was the opposite, sudden upheaval seizing her. Her expression opened in something akin to panic. “Wh—no? What? No! That's not what I—”
/SCREAMS
oh my GOD CINDER YOU HAVE FUCKED UP LEGENDARILY!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD SHE WAS FELL ASS-FIRST ONTO A LANDMINE OH MY GOD
offal hunt v1 cinder: im totally in control and im playing glynda every step of the way
offal hunt v2 cinder: OH JESUS OH FUCK OH NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT-
Cinder seemed genuinely stressed now, speaking quicker as though trying to bury the last sixty seconds.
i knew this remaster would have sections that would blow me away but this bit really took the fcuking cake DGHSJFSJHFDG holy SHIT this is AMAZING
It was difficult to tell in the low light, but if Glynda wasn't mistaken, there was a bright flush of embarrassment coloring Cinder’s cheeks.
this is SUCH prime content hey remember in one of the early liveblogs that cinder would descend into full dork? WELL THE DESCENT CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pops bottles
“Cinder.” There was a very real line of threat in Glynda’s tone. “Don’t.”
oh this whole scene just keeps getting better i am LOVING this dynamic now!!!!!!! before it was all pretty one-sided so having the conversation rock back and forth is 👌👌👌
That Witch soul of yours—it was designed to void out everything but the prey before you. To be numb to all human emotion. To focus on the hunt and nothing else.
finally the fruit of 50% of my fingerguns COMES TO LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! PLOT PLOT PLOT
“This is bullshit.” Jabbing an accusing finger at Cinder, Glynda said, “You’re a liar. You’re a criminal!”
i LOVE glyndas pottymouth in this its such a good like... change from her being strict and formal and teachery and now shes full on gremlin huntress hell YES BABY!!!!!!!!!! GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“There’s all kinds of things I bet he never told you.” Cinder continued. “Did you know he was close to your predecessor? The Witch who came before you—they were inseparable.”
SRY IM LIKE STRUGGLIN TO COMMENTATE because so much of this like. speaking as an Old-Ass Reader this is like. a LOT! A LOT HAS CHANGED and yet,,,, stayed the same,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yall kids WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHAPTER LIKE................ 15 FOR THIS SHIT (but like. chapter 15 was different because this chapter used to be like chapter 7? so now everythings moved along so chapter 15 doesnt sound that impressive but trust me it was a different fic back then)
When they fell away, burnt and ruined, she could see Cinder’s bare arms for the first time. The red lines drawn across her skin sloped down the entire length of her arms, circling her elbows, carved into her wrists. They ended right at her hands, ensuring any long-sleeved garment would hide them. Every covered inch of her was filled like a canvas, like abstract art.
lets pause the fight scene for glynda to be gay!!!!! god im. okay look i said this earlier but im so glad we have more cinder like this tbh. the first version was rly lacking w/ cinder content until late-game when the plot sorta. got itself going? but now we’re eye-deep in this content i LOVE cinder i love this WEIRDO who is a HUGE LOSER and IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And Glynda could not dispel the fear that she had been telling the truth.
and after committing Some Amount In Damages, we’re at the end of the chapter!
okay so i really enjoyed this version SO MUCH MORE. everything abt it was polished and worked together so much better and it really needed the space to breathe in its own chapter. its been horny, gay, intense, hilarious, and way more in one chapter and its SO good this really is PEAK offal hunt!!!!!!!!!!!! good job diesel and kc but im still going to murder you both,
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epiphanyksj · 6 years
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TELL ME ABT JK DURING UR CONCERT IN LA !!!!!! HE LOVES LA N U DIDNT TELL ME ABT IT IN DETAIL !!!!!!💞💕💖💓
oh god :(((( HHH!!!!!! ok im literally gonna go through this event by event. so I WALKED INTO THE ARENA with my friend to go find my seat and there’s a moment of silence before the beginning of danger’s mv begins playing. and up on the screen is jungkook playing outro: propose, that really pretty dramatic piano part. and let me tell you i literally burst into tears AT THAT MOMENT because it was just so overwhelming to realize that i was actually there and going to see them. and then there was the vcr and they all looked. So Good! i literally said “oh my god” so many times during the concert it was unreal i mean ive told you about this but yeah on to actual performances (read more)
so all this fire starts torching into the air and the stage lights are flashing everywhere with this dramatic music with heavy drums (think mama 2016 fire-esque). ok so im rewatching the vid i took as i write this and im laughing because everyone else is like “TRAADE OFF” and from me you just hear this hysterical “CHOO CHOO” OK thats not the point. i could barely focus in the first performance because i could not believe they were real but like he’s GORGEOUS they were all so gorgeous n i wanna gush about the others too but this is a jk ask. he is So Stable and powerful i dont know how he even does it. so after they finish performing they begin their ments…. when it goes to jk he kinda looks up like “:o its my turn” but then he goes “WASSUP” and he’s so sos ofuckginfg pretty he glows and his eyes and just his face at that point i screamed “I LOVE YOU… (weakly) jungoo….” and then he also said LONG TIME NO SEE he has the cutest voice :(.
when he starts singing in save me… his voice is so beautiful. and i already said it but his dancing is so powerful. n the way he looks at the camera… you feel it in your soul. and his voice is so good in im fine!!!!!! i was not, in fact, fine. the part where he falls to the floor then suddenly looks up is so intense.
but incredibly he looks absolutely ethereal when he stands and sings. this might sound weird but like…. the way his eyes are half closed is so pretty and he looks at peace. even more so when he closes his eyes all the way. ive said it so many times but his eyes literally are so captivating. all of bts look unbelievably good in person. also there’s supposed to be a fanchant In Magic Shop During The Instrumental Break But Nobody Did It but i faithfully went through all the way anyway.
n then. THE GOLDEN DUO VCR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! theyre so cuuuteekjsdhdskjfh :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( like it was just such a happy pure colorful lighthearted vcr!!!!!
ok not to be cheesy but i literally got goosebumps and started tearing up when i heard his voice say “euphoria” in the silence. the pretty guitars start coming in and he’s revealed on the stage. he looks so at home when he sings it and there’s golden light all around him and he’s smiling. but when it’s not the chorus the lights are a blue color and it reminds me of the ocean in the music video. he really puts so much into his singing and just his overall performance. and when he does the high note in euphoria and the golden confetti explodes into the air and shimmers in the lights.
he puts his hand to chest often when he sings like he’s feeling it in his soul. but he also jams out really cutely! he jumped around during run a lot (and yet is ridiculously stable still) and his hair is bouncy! he headbanged a little too :( at the end of run during hoseok’s part he took out his earpiece to listen to us. his part in dna with tae is so iconic!!! rapper jk!!!!!!!!! literally even just the way he sings “DNA”!!!!
he asked us if we were having fun!!!! babie :( (side note tae is SOO cute when he talks in english). also the army bomb ocean was so pretty it was a range of colors from yellow green to purple and it was this amazing gradient.
then. Then. 21st century girls. Came On. but i need to save this gushing about the song itself for the next ask. all of them gather together to jam out in the center of the stage! afterwards jk wanders around! YOU SAY YES OR NO YES OR NO WOOAAAHOHHH
this goes for everyone else too but when he sings in gogo its like the words are just rolling out of his mouth if that makes sense.
but the transition to bst. unreal but im also saving that for the next ask. god and i keep talking about jk’s dancing but seriously him and the entirety of dance line are a serious force to be reckoned with. his voice when he sings his parts is so light and fluttery.
you shouldve heard me during his rap part of boy in luv. i was like “APPAAAAAAA” “EOMMAAAAAA” “PYEONJIIII” “MWONJIII” like i think those technically aren’t his lines but that whole section. and they cut straight to the bridge instead of doing the second verse and jk’s voice there especially combined with jimin and jin. and he holds the high note!!!!!!!
but his rap part in danger. hard fucking core. he’s so talented it’s unbelievable. this man does not hesitate when it comes to bangers or when it comes to headbanging.
airplane pt2. he saunters onto the stage like nobody’s business and sits and kicks back on that damn chair with his sultry ass voice. his falsetto is gorgeous when they do that part before hoseok’s airplane rap and at the end of the song. and i know it’s only part of the studio recording but when he does the “ah ah” part i lose my mind. the way he sits with the other members surrounding him just emanates this air of power and regality but almost in a casual way like “yeah we’re royalty, what about it?”
his outfit during fake love is perfect. all of the outfits are so good i could gush about them all day but alas this is a jk ask. his sleeves are see-through and he has shiny chains going across his chest harness and i’m sure you could find pictures of it but i hadn’t looked at concert pics beforehand so i was in shock at how good the outfits were. it’s like some performing beast is unleashed from jungkook during fake love. he’s absolutely in the zone and i couldn’t take my eyes off him because his presence is so strong especially when he’s in the center. it’s like he moves his body and projects his voice perfectly to the flow and energy of the song. fake love as a whole is so captivatingly intense it’s like you’re under a spell when you watch them perform it.
ok im burning out i can only write so much DSKJHSDF but the truth untold. it’s like he transforms into full angel form at this point. his voice is incredible and his harmonies and pitch and the emotion he puts into it. also everybody say thank you stylists!
he also has such an aura during mic drop. everybody does but it seriously is honestly such a great track live because the energy is dominating and in that moment you really know that they absolutely do own the whole arena and set the stage on fire. ugh! and the strength that he has during the dance break at the end of mic drop!! unreal!
also i can’t imagine genuinely truly hating so what. like i see so many people saying they hate it but you know that when you hear it irl that shit makes you JUMP and they have so much fun on stage especially jk! we like to make fun of him for his shoot dance but seeing him go across the stage enjoying himself so much makes you feel just as much joy as him :( at this point would it really be a performance of so what if he didn’t do it?
at this point i knew that so what was one of the final performances n i was like. What. because it really passed by like a blur it didn’t feel nearly as long as it supposedly took and before i knew it they were performing anpanman so i HAD to cheer up because that song is so cute. and jk is all smiley when they perform it! nose scrunches and all! he actually gets up in a normal way during namjoon’s part. his eyes are all big and sparkly and playful and it feels very boyish!!!
N THEN DURING THE ENDING MENT JOON CALLED JUNGKOOK “MISTER COOL GUY JK” AND JK WAS LIKE “cool guy!” n then like “make some nooooiiiise!!!” n he was smiling doing his cute scrunch and rewatching this like. ive said it 50 times already but he’s seriously so pretty. his eyes are lit up and his expression is bright and there’s a blue light shining on him but his EYESSSSS :((((( he has a slight accent which is rly cute but his pronunciation is also really good and it feels like you just want to hug him really tight even though he’s sweaty but like Would I Complain.
his voice in answer: love myself is so smooth it’s like sitting in a warm patch of sun with a cool breeze looking up at the sky. ok i know i said i was burning out but am i really. rewatching the videos makes me so happy. and his harmonies were so nice. and he was moving side to side really cutely! like one of those figurines you put on the dashboard of your car and they dance side to side! n he’s so full of love. they were all moving their arms side to side and the army bombs were moving along with them i want to cry watching it again it’s so weird thinking that i was actually there it felt like everyone in the audience became one with all the members on stage jk was acting cute and he and all the members were waving to everyone in the audience in the pit and the further away and upper levels of the arena.
for a really long time i’ve never been able to pinpoint the happiest moment or memory of my life everytime ive been asked about it. for lack of a better answer i always left it vague but ever since the concert i can easily say it was the happiest i’d been in a long time and possibly ever and i wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything else in the world
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burningalight · 4 years
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my binders/locker in grade school were stuffed with so much shit i couldnt find anything...always crumpled up papers, trash etc
chewed pencils/pens, broke them taking them apart in class, lost them, often didn’t have one, frequently borrowing them and forgetting to give them back to the point that certain people wouldn’t give me pencils
could comprehend reading i liked very well, but when we’d have reading groups with boring books id always be lost,  or when the teachers would have one on ones and have u read something short and ask questions after to assess ur reading level, they’d often have to tell me to read it again bc they knew how much i remembered didnt add up to my intelligence and reading speed 
moms college friend gave me an unoffical iq test and i did much worse than i know i shouldve on the reading portion bc she’d play a story and then ask me after to list every detail i could remember and i couldn’t remember anything. but when she played 10 numbers and asked me to say them out loud backwards i scored extremely high ?
couldnt do projects, would be in tears, last minute every time, parents mad bc i need a poster board RIGHT NOW ITS DUE TOMORROW . hated assigned reading, horrible at essays even when they helped us plan them. 
i remember my 7th grade social studies teacher assigning a paper, i wrote extremely detailed and well in the first paragraph or 2, and the following ones got shorter and shorter and were completely bullshit bc i got bored. she told me ‘really strong first paragraph.’ and gave me a B  
talk too got damn fast. customers constantly telling me to slow down bc they cant understand me
my mom always says she had to challenge me as a kid bc i would get bored and get in trouble. i was acting out bc i was understimulated, i happened to like learning (esp numbers and puzzles) bc smart so that’s what i could fixate on and felt stimulated by
lunch detention frequently in 8th grade in my first highschool class, algebra, bc i wouldnt do my homework, at one point he just stopped giving lunch detention for that bc i wouldnt do it. i hated that class bc the math was boring and i never paid attention but would somehow pull off a’s and b’s on tests so i ended up with a B. my first B, and i had brought that up from a D (told my mom it was almost a C, he gave a really hard test and we all did bad etc, when she had to sign a paper about my low grade) at the end of the year, during the exam i was so confused the whole time, it was my first highschool exam and i didn’t know ANYTHING. i ended up with a 92 from guessing, and a curve, and every one of my friends got at least a 93 or better and i felt so stupid bc i was supposed to be the best at math
i would take every highschool class in honors but not one english class bc it required more essays and summer reading and i knew i wouldnt do the reading and would cry over the essays
the only other class i didnt take honors was chemistry bc i knew the honors teacher had a lot of projects and i would be stressing over them. i ended up with an A in the standard chem class even tho i never finished any work in class and didnt do homework, but i was still the smartest in the class and did the best overall
lunch detention for forgetting to get papers signed like report cards. they weren’t even bad grades i just couldnt remember. one time i got actual detention for forging my moms signature bc i got lunch detention for several days straight bc i kept forgetting to get the paper signed 
often had permission slips waiting to be signed the day before the field trip, or told my mom it was picture day the day before or morning of. one time i totally forgot it was picture day and didnt dress up
acting out and not thinking ab the consequences, many referrals.. many more times that my teachers let me get away with acting out when someone else doing the same thing would’ve been punished. one time anna and i left in the middle of class to go with emma to the library, only emma had permission, and my teacher had anna and i do wall sits instead of going to the office. in gym in middle school i would never dress out. i hated the clothes and hated gym bc i was awkward and if we didnt dress out we had to copy pages out of the health textbook the entire time and i would barely write 2 paragraphs bc i was so bored and my hand hurt and he never did anything ab it. i wouldnt dress out at least twice per week if not more. told my mom I had a C bc he had it out for me but i was the problem
in elementary school if we didn’t come to gym day wearing the right shoes we had to go into the back and pick out a pair of sneakers that fit out of a box of shoes, and also borrow socks if necessary. i had to do this frequently bc i never remembered to wear the right shoes
i would extremely often forget my library books and have to sit on the couch waiting for everyone to pick out their books for half an hour
when we were even younger we’d have story time and you had to sit in the middle of the floor inside a big circle of chairs where everyone else was if you forgot your library books. i lost one at one point for months and my parents didnt just pay for it so i had to sit in the middle every time. we found the book on a shelf somewhere in the house 
my chorus teacher never liked me bc i talked too much and i always felt like the worst singer, not bc of my singing but bc she wasn’t ever nice to me
in 7th grade science we learned latin root words and every day we’d play a game where we all stood up and one by one he’d ask for a root and we’d give it. if you got it wrong on the first round you’d have to write it on a piece of paper x amount of times and turn it in. if you were the last person left you were allowed to sit on your desk for the rest of the year, during these games while everyone else had to stand up. i wanted so badly to sit on my desk, esp bc i was fidgety and couldnt stand still, but i would never study them bc i’d forget or not want to if i did remember, even tho i really wanted to know them and sit on my desk. that teacher had a huge soft spot for me and one day i just started sitting on my desk during those. everyone knew i was smart, and it was all the smart kids who got to sit on their desks, so no one questioned it. im not sure if he knew i wasnt supposed to and just let me, or didnt realize i hadnt won bc i was smart. 
hyperlexia? mom said i could practically read before i was taught. i’ve always obsessively air written, ie writing words out w my finger in the air, on my leg etc. 
esp during lectures i doodle excessively to the point that my papers margins have always been covered with random scribbly overlapped words, or song lyrics. the words are usually something someone in the class said. ive started keeping an extra sheet of paper just for scribbling when im taking notes or listening in class. when we finished end of year tests in school i would write down full lyrics to songs on my scrap paper so i wouldnt be so bored. my hand cramps up so much but it was better than staring or trying to sleep with the lights on 
doing things and forgetting to turn them in
hyperfixating on books to cope w boredom and social anxiety, at one point read one per day, i was definitely one of the most frequent people in the library 
‘ The way I see it is if I can get information into my mind, I can do a lot with it but getting it in there in the first place is the really difficult part.’ - not mine
none of my teachers ever told my mom any of this i dont think, bc i was the smartest and i always got good grades, most had a soft spot for me BUT COULDNT SEE I HAD ADHD like damn. one time my fourth grade teacher whom i liked a lot was mad at us and indirectly calling people out, and referred to the fact that some of us never stopped talking , then made direct eye contact with me and i felt rly embarrassed bc i didnt realize i did that until she mentioned it
i often had to move seats if i was near friends bc i wouldnt stop instigating talking
at big lots when i had to run the register i was so painfully bored , fidgety, had to sneak my phone soo much bc i was so bored. when i was on the floor i would put away the go backs very quickly and then take upon myself a project like going through the entire wall of individual drinks and pulling out all the expired ones, it was like 5 carts full. my manager put me in charge of organizing the entire makeup section and all the gross clearance makeup bc she knew id do it the best and fastest 
when bosses have me do inventory i can count the products super fast and efficiently, but then when they have me put them into a spreadsheet i stare at it for hours getting nothing done bc distracted and its boring. ammar told me if i’d just get off my phone i could get it done bc he’d been asking for it for weeks, i wasnt trying to ignore it 
when im trying to do something at work that needs more concentration, i want to cry with frustration whenever i hear the door chime and have to get up and help customers and break my focus
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pungenday · 7 years
Text
@pineapple-millionaire in depth fucking stragner things 2 analysis under the cut
honestly bob's death was so, so cheap. bringing in a brand spankin new character, getting him endeared to the audience by showing he's a genuinely kind, gentle, loving and brave person who could really make joyce happy despite seeming like a bit of a boring guy, and then pointlessly killing him off JUST so the audience is sad - but not too outraged like they would be if it was one of the main cast from the first season. it felt fake. it didnt even spur the plot forward! the shadow monster had already taken joyce's son, there was no need for extra motivation for her to want to kill it. heck, it might have been extra interesting had she not had the extra level of vengeance spurring her on and instead had to worry a little more about the monster's death killing her son. it was literally just done to jerk some tears. im still really gotdam mad
i think billy was intended to be a complex character - probably not intended to be empathized with so much as pitied. he's fucking awful but he seems like he could get a redemption arc in the future. i think he has the potential to be likable if that happens, but only if he's truly remorseful and really tries to make up for all he's done. also yh i agree, along w/ some other context clues the dad's specific use of the f-word in that one scene rly makes me think the writers intend for him to be gay and in the closet (maybe probably also in denial). but like its the tragic 80s so. wont be pretty if he is. im not sure which outcome i hope for
also at least in this season i dont think steve did anything wrong, he's a good guy if a bit emotionally dumb, just wasn't right for nancy. i think nancy was really stressed when she was with him specifically bc he was so good at pretending the whole upside down mess hadn't happened, and she couldnt do that, which stressed her out even more. he was a pretty good boyfriend otherwise? there was also how it played into nancy's character arc - her being w/ him was the pinnacle of her trying to pretend life was normal and nothing had happened, once she let him go she could stop pretending and actually take action against hawkins lab. it was kind of a symbol in that way?
im kinda lukewarm on jonathan. ive never really felt one way or another about him i just really wish they hadnt gotten together in the way they did.
i didnt understand el's reaction to max either but ive been thinking on it. i guess maybe seeing mike smiling w/ someone other than the friends she knew made her think that his life somehow became better when she was gone? and she began to equate max w/ that and resent her for it, turning max into a symbol to direct her anger, when really she was upset that mike had seemingly moved on and become happy even though he thought she was dead. her journey then was kind of like. finding some place that she was needed, where she needed them in return? and she sort of assumed then that mike didnt need her. thats my only theory on that. it shocked me to see it too, especially the snub in the last episode.
mmmmmm lastly - sorry i have too many thoughts on this show - i didnt like the way the arc w/ kali went down. it felt really unresolved, and it was left open whether kali genuinely felt the 'connection' she said she did to el, or if she was just using her for her powers. probably if they have another season we'll see more of her. i kept waiting for her to become relevant again after el went back - even if it was just in the epilogue - and she never did, which was disappointing. 
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illusionlock · 7 years
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under the cut bc uhhhhhhhhh its a lot
chapter 3 spoilers too
i still like alice, i dont think she is bad, she just seems to be, desperately trying to fix herself, she seems like the kind of person who tried her best to be good, to impress, but when all that failed, when no matter what everything went downhill, she just got tired of playing nice. n i understand, i rly do. just. what the hell tho. do you rly need to go to those lenghts. cant wee just talk alice. cant we
joey you manipulative fuck... pals you just cannot trust men
from my view, susie fused with alice out of pure spite, to somehow prove to joey she could still be alice, but it ended up making a very... fucked up fusion. from the way alice talks even, she knew susie, n susie convinced her to do it, in a possibly manipulative manner, but it happened.
actually, heres what i think: humans rnt meant to fuse with toons. toons n humans can exist separately from one another (even if in imperfect forms, like in the butcher gang or all the other boris’, even the searchers r perhaps prototype toons) but they rnt meant to fuse. if they do, they create an amalgalm, a badly mutated copy of what that toon used to be.
alice kind of explains how toons r born? theyre born spontaneously, burst out of puddles. said puddles probably come from the machine (?) n theyre born in the bundles. alice talks of hearing multiple voices inside the puddles. considering whatever weird supernatural shit joey was involved in, those voices were likely souls conjured up to animate whatever being was gonna burst outta there.
theres a theory about being like, the first ink machine made imperfect toons, n the second made them correctly, which might be why alice said her second form was the angel form. i dont disagree, but i also rly like the idea that toons face some kind of evolution. the searchers would be the most basic stage, the butcher gang we see is probably in its imperfect stages still, until the very later stages, which i imagine the boris’ have reached, though they still seem to come with varying levels of ‘perfection’. thought there r no multiple alices or bendys. what caused boris to be so ‘mass produced’?
i mean alice does say ‘that is the most perfect boris...’ and refers to him as an ‘it’. were boris’ like, just made in the bundles bc they were easy to make n helped around? i mean boris’ personality is very helpful n loyal, like a dog, so i imagine joey wanting to mass produce boris only for the purpose of having lots of handymen who dont question orders
speaking of themes of perfection, theres an interesting line on one of her monologues. ‘and she was perfect... no matter what joey says’. was she still considered imperfect by joey at first? did he disapprove of the first alice n wanted to repurpose her whole character, n when susie refused, probably standing up for alice, he threatened to replace her?
my boyfriend pointed this out, n i agree: i think a lot of the anger alice directs at bendy is actually supposed to be pointed at joey. i mean, joey was the one who manipulated her n made her feel special in one moment n imperfect n terrible in the next. n who was joeys little darling devil, who he hated seeing get at least one little insult? bendy himself. so this anger is specifically spiting joey n his egotistical creation
i think, what happened to make the rest of the employees fucked up is much more complicated. obviously, fusion with a toon grants immortality, but turns you into a mutant with a higher or lower grade of deformation depending on how ‘perfect’ the toon is. so im thinking, something happened to make everyone want to desperately fuse with any toon available, including half made borises, searchers, you name it. n im calling it now: it was the ink machine flooding up the whole damn place. i mean, seriously, dont you think its suspicious that in updated ch2 n ch3 you have to DRAIN the ink to get down the stairs cuz theres so much?? so.. yeah. YEAH.
final point, this just further brings my point of this ‘bendy’ going around being a result of a fucked up fusion of joey n bendy. bendy mightve been considered sufficiently perfect by joey once to fuse n make him immortal, but apparently it wasnt enough, n so the fusion still suffered a great deformation n loss of most conscious perception, only leaving intact what i believe to be vague thoughts, only fragments of what they once were, but not enough to form a fully functional thinking being, only rather a near animalistic thing moved by instinct.
alice also says that although toons cant die, they can be pulled back into the puddles, by getting touched by other toons who r highly corrupted or imperfect. from her words, ‘bendy’ is such a toon.
actually, the more i think about it, the more i think human/toon fusions r based off of liches. you see, in fantasy, liches r creatures that come from a wizard who concentrates all their magic in becoming immortal supernatural beings. however, they usually tend to lose themselves n become a destructive force, UNLESS they have somethign to hold on to. this could explain why some fusions maintained their consciousness (alice n sammy) while others didnt (norman n ‘bendy’).
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some short naegiri drabble thing
just a short naegiri drabble thing bc why not im craving naegiri also btw i just played a three hour game of monopoly that isnt finished yet (continuing tmw morning) and im loaded eat my ass togami also i wrote this on my phone which has autocorrect turned off so sorry for any typos/grammar errors and sorry this is not v good i wrote it late at night :/ It wasn't often the two of them got to be alone together, and to be honest Naegi couldn't tell whether that was good luck or not. He and Kirigiri were close, sure, but the two of them often shared awkward silences. To occupy themselves, they decided to walk around the third floor together, hoping to find something that peeked their interests. Aside from a few notes of possible weapons found in several different rooms (ones they'd make sure to be wary of) nothing came up. They returned to Naegi's room together and conversed casually, Naegi often being the conversation starter. They got to know each other a bit better, however Naegi realized something and couldn't help but speak his thoughts. "Y'know, Kiri," he started, looking up at the ceiling. "I don't think I've ever heard you laugh before." "Is that so?" Kirigiri answered, turning to Naegi. "I don't remember ever laughing around you." "Well, I was just thinking that..." Naegi started. "You just seem to keep your composure in every situation... how?" "I can't exactly guess," Kirigiri shifted a bit. "It just comes naturally." "I see... well, I think you should loosen up a little... you seem to be tense most of the time." Naegi faced Kirigiri, his expression showing childish enthusiasm. His friend couldn't help but smile at his expression. "Is this a challenge?" Kirigiri smirked, obviously challenging Naegi. "Alright, make me laugh." "Any rules?" He asked. "No constraints." The next few minutes were spent telling ridiculous jokes and Naegi attempting to do weird actions, but nothing seemed to phase Kirigiri. The odd chuckle was the best reaction he got out of her. "This is impossible!" He half-whined. "You're way too good at this..." he scoffed childishly, trying to think of something else to try. "Hmm, well if you think of anything that tickles your fancy, let me know." She huffed, still smirking at Naegi. "Wait..." Naegi paused, a sudden idea popping into his head after hearing Kirigiri's words. He cursed himself for not thinking of this sooner. Now that he thought about it, this course of action should've been the first thing he tried. "Hey, Kirigiri," Naegi mused, smirking at his friend, which in turn made Kirigiri frown back. "Can I ask you something?" "I suppose," she answered stoicly. "Are you ticklish, by any chance?" Naegi mentally highfived himself for his own idea as he watched Kirigiri's face go from one of confidence to one of slight panic. The answer was clear as day, and Naegi could see the anxiety clouding her eyes. She was blushing slightly, but she was trying to keep her composure as much as possible. "Uh..." Kirigiri trailed off after clearing her throat. "I... don't know?" "You don't know, huh?" Naegi asked a retorical question, leaning over his friend and making himself seem slightly taller. "Makoto Naegi, I swear..." she whispered as she backed herself further away from Naegi, almost falling off the bed. "Well, if you don't know, don't you think it's best to find out?" Naegi asked, raising his hands to his chest level and wiggling his fingers deviously. Upon the sight of his fingers, Kirigiri made a strange choking sound as if trying to fight back a snicker of anticipation. It's not that she was unbearably ticklish, but it was something about Naegi's tone of voice and smirk that just got to her. "I think information like that is best kept secret..." "I don't think so," Naegi said as he started lightly fluttering his fingers over Kirigiri's stomach, causing his friend to jerk and gasp suddenly. She didn't struggle too much, as if determined to hide her ticklishness from Naegi, but oh, he knew. "N-naegi!" Kirigiri gasped. "Un-hand me this i-instant!" she demanded in-between grunts and tiny squeaks, trying to squirm away from Naegi. "Hmm, not gonna happen," Naegi answered, continuing to poke at Kirigiri's stomach, concentrating on getting her to crack. He noted that she must not be that sensitive on her stomach, so he moved his fingers to Kirigiri's sides and gently clawed at them. To say the reaction he got from that was surprising would be an understatement, because he swore he just heard his normally-stoic friend squeal. "Weak spot?" Naegi asked, frowning when Kirigiri shook her head and bit her lip, preventing herself from giggling. Naegi changed techniques, dragging his fingers lightly over Kirigiri's sides. His friend seemed to be more sensitive to that method, so he did more investigating and tried moving his hands even higher. That's when the dam broke and Kirigiri's sudden loud squeak made Naegi jump. "Naegiiii!!" Kirigiri almost whined before starting to laugh, trying to grab Naegi's hands to pry them off the sides of her ribs. "I-I swehehear!! Nohoho!" "Looks like I found a weak spot~" Naegi teased and laughed along with her. He blushed upon hearing her giggles and squeaks, realizing that Kirigiri's laugh was quite... cute. And it seemed that as time passed, his friend's laugh just got louder and squeakier, which in turn made Naegi laugh because this was definitely a rare sight, considering Kirigiri's personality and stoicness. He switched from gentle touches to digging into his friend's ribs, which appeared to be effective. Naegi decided that he should just have fun with this. "Hey," Naegi said in an bubbly tone. "Hey, Kiri." He retracted his hands for a short moment, allowing Kirigiri to breathe. "Eheh... wh-what?" She tried to sound serious, but her aftershocks of being tickled kept her giggling and blushing. "I'm assuming you know about the theory where men have one less rib than women... or maybe it's the other way around? I wanna test that." Naegi smiled almost innocently. "C-can't you just look that up?!" Kirigiri was in-directly begging at this point, considering her ribs were most definitely her weakest spot. "The internet doesn't always tell the truth you know, and plus, why do that when I can have more fun testing my theory on you?~" Naegi teased, which made Kirigiri un-characteristically blush and snicker. God, she's adorable... Naegi thought as he slowly dragged his fingers across each of Kirigiri's ribs, counting them one by one, which was proving to be a good method. He could feel her skin twitching underneath his touch, and it was a feeling he found to be quite satisfying. "Okay!! Okay!!" Kirigiri admitted, folding her arms across her ribs to try and prevent Naegi from tickling them. "Nohoho more!" "But Kiriiiiii..." Naegi whined childishly. "I'm not done counting your ribs yet, and all your distracting laughter made me lose count! Now I gotta start all over again," Naegi huffed, starting back at square one, except this time he allowed all of his fingers to flutter freely over Kirigiri's ribs, which in turn made his friend nearly hysterical. "M-MAKotohohoho!! STOHOhohop!" Now she was begging, and Naegi was feeling quite satisfied with his friend squirming and laughing beneath him. "Hmm... not yet..." Naegi said, moving his hands back to where he started, the sides of her ribs. He dug his fingers into the bone, not harsh enough to be painful, but just enough to make it torturous. "Admit defeat and I'll stop." He teased, his voice just loud enough for Kirigiri to hear over her hysterical laughing fit. "C-Come on!! NAEGI!" She squeaked, rolling onto her right side to try and block out Naegi's hands. This only resulted in her friend moving both his hands to her left side, which didn't make the sensations any better. "Just- STOhohop!!" "Is that you admitting you've lost?" Naegi asked, chuckling as Kirgiri nodded. He stopped, just resting his hands on Kirigiri's ribs as he took in how adorable the other looked. She was blushing and still snickering cutely because of the aftershock. He gently curled his fingers, making Kirigiri tense up as he dragged his fingers down both her sides, getting a few last giggles out of her before finally retracting his hands. "Th-that was cruel..." Kirigiri panted, looking up at Naegi, who seemed quite confident. "I won, though!" Naegi exclaimed triumphantly, smirking down at Kirigiri. "I bet you regret putting 'no touching' in your list of constraints for this game." "Don't think you've won this little game of yours just yet," Kirigiri sat up, quickly recovering from the previous attack and Naegi swore he could see her smirking. "We still have another round, and you're the victim this time." With that being said, Kirigiri tackled her friend so she was on top of him and wasted no time in digging her fingers into his stomach. "W-Wait, nohoho!! KIRI!" Naegi squeaked before being reduced into a laughing mess, squirming around and trying to escape his friend's devious fingers. Let's just say Kirigiri got a more than proper revenge that day. NOTES: frick i didnt expect it to be this Long and i dont rly like how this came out but here take it i havent written a fic in so longgg
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changji · 5 years
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There’s a limit for when you’re in school but in summer I can do whatever I want bc it’s a Free Country 🤪 u miss are not allowed to get sick u hear me or else I will personally fly to cali & nurse you 😤 A STARBUCKS DRINK FOR $4.85 EYE- THAT’S SO GOOD WTFF I DON’T THINK I’VE PAID LESS THAN $5 FOR A DRINK THERE. You’re really out here like that
Ah I forgot to say how often I climb but I usually try for 3+ times a month bc the gym is pretty far away (by far i mean 2 different buses & an hour of crying). When I first started I was being taught how to tie a figure 8 knot (which is the most important one you need so you don’t die) and i couldn’t fucking get it right so the instructor had to go over it 193837 times & was getting annoyed @ me. LOL I couldn’t look him in the eye at all and my face had never been redder that day lmfao
At least ur teachers like you. I’m like that one student that never says anything and just sits there with an rbf so idk what my teachers think of me LOL. Half the time they don’t know I’m there. I got marked absent a couple times before but i was there in class 😤😤 ohh that’s cool. Band season runs the entire year for my school but that’s probably bc it’s a credit course. Newborn babies kinda are, it’s when they reach a couple months old they become cute
LOL how do you pronounce breakfast? I say salmon with the L & I get hated on by everyone. Taeyomi was great but changji is even better. Like changbin + jisung? Genius. Legends Only. Jkhsdiweiihfew I’m glad my url has an impact on ur daily life 🥵🥵 languages are so hard, I’m literally illiterate in every single one ik. Ikr? Our names are so easy like how do u mispronounce arella? One time  someone spelt my name as Adly and I wanted to Perish
The chance the skip 2 math levels? Once again ur a genius legend. I could never esp w math holy moly. Okay dark ones it is!! I was thinking either the 1st or 2nd ones? Which do u like more? Ah new friends. The first weeks are always so awkward bc you don’t really know them well so you don’t know how much of urself you wanna expose (or it’s just me. I’m too much of a crackhead apparently). Wait a moment. Do you have multiple buildings at ur school like a uni campus??
Make out spots at my school is this one sketchy stairwell where all the scary ppl are. The whole school just smells like weed bc 90% of the school are potheads. Alright that’s the deal if we die we die together 😤 I have never heard of bathroom portables before,, those sounds so Extra. Are they like a porta potty? Omg speaking of older grades a bunch of girls who graduated last year came to my work & I was like “oh shit lol ik u all this is awkward” 
Oof I’m the older sister so like. Favouritism never works in my favour. My sister will literally start a fight w me but I’m the only one who gets lectured in the end. Like. Bitch u started this 😤 I’m on the older side out of my cousins so I’m just Ignored 😪 I’m placing my bet on 2k words right now for our convos 
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ah makes sense, i thought there was a time for summer too but it might just be here or i’m dumb 😔 I CANT AFFORD TO GET SICK MISSING ONE DAY OF SCHOOL WILL NOT HELP ME AT ALL ! but thank u for ur concern miss, u should just fly to cali anyway 😪 myb i’ll go to u can i hitchike from here ?? IT IS SO GOOD ITS AMAZING IT WAS SO CHEAP but the drink was super sweet 🤢 i have converted back to normal lattes with no syrup. peet’s is usually 5.20 for my drink and it’s so strong i don’t need extra shots ☺️ 
3 times,, a month,, i go to the mall like 3 times a week, look @ u being so athletic! tbh i sound lame but i’ve never taken a bus (other than a school bus for field trips) before like. buses here are lowkey sketch but it’s mostly college students. i rely on my parents and uber 🤧 sometimes i walk but. i don’t like to but if i have to i will oop. it takes an hour to get there and an hour back then right? i can’t imagine bro omg i’d just die. i know how to knot my shoelaces and never being able to untangle them so i now wear slip ons 🤪 poor ada, were like the same person but that was me when i took a knitting class for some reason and couldn’t do any of it 😪
okay idk if i told u yet but my ap euro teacher asked who’s been to italy so i raised my hand, he asked how it was and i said “the gelato is rly good” and his face was just. utter disappointment. turns out he was asking abt the art but he didnt clarify it and we weren’t even talking abt art so now i’m known as That Girl 😔 it’s hard to miss me oop, if it’s quiet then i’m sleeping & all my teachers last year knew this 😪 how do u get marked absent?? i wish band was a credit course but it’s only extra curricular 😔 are ur teachers snakes i will Step on them. newborns look fake but yeah they get cute when they’re like half a year old. 
like. brek-fust by my friends says brek-fist like it’s more of a u sound than an i but go off u idiots. salmon with the L,, ada,, no,, if u say carmel instead of caramel i’m gonna riot. ugh thanks bro i was lucky someone gave me this url, but nohyuckclub? aka the author of the most legendary mark lee social media au? A Whole Legend, but treerachas? my absolutely fave 🥺 languages are dumb i don’t know english i don’t know spanish my vocab consists of sksk and i oop, and that’s it. HOW DO U MISPRONOUNCE ADA LIKE. when i saw ur name i was like ay-da not ah-da, ppl need to learn bro it’s just said how it’s spelled. AND PERISH LOL I LOVE THE WORDS U USE
i’m actually dumb tho i just hate math oops, i’m more of a lunch kind of person if u know what i mean 😉 JK IM GROSS STOP ME and i like the 2nd one (the red one right? idk it’s all pretty u choose) i don’t wanna expose myself but it happens bc i’m just naturally a crackhead oops. but yeah we have multiple buildings! my campus is pretty small tbh? compared to other schools we’re really small, there’s like 2k kids here and i wanna die. it’s so crowded in the halls like get away from me u smelly thot. we have 3 buildings connected by 3 hallways, and a few other ones like the science buildings, music room, portables, 2 gyms and classrooms. in total i think there are 10 buildings? how’s ur campus like?
do you have one big building or smth? in my middle school had stairs and. stairs aren’t fun i hate them. if people kissed on the stairs everybody would hate them bc they’re blocking the halls LOL. we have our legendary D wing bathrooms where people smoke its so funny how often i got offered a roll,,, people straight up vape in class its so funny. but yeah a porta party. disgusting 🤢 in my head that’s what i call it LOL, a portable bathroom… i hate when i see people from school or just. ppl in general, did they recognize u?
U SPELL FAVORITISM WITH A U THATS SO WEIRD FUCKING AMERICA but im lowkey spoiled (highkey) but i. don’t pick fights, its my brother who does that LOL, he gets lectured tho so,,, not my problem oops i have a lot of cousins but we split it when we were younger so its wrong but teens (now adults but still called teens), kids (now teens but still called kids), and the adult adult cousins (which is the only correct one LOL) but i fit into the kid category so,,,, also we have almost 20k im literally SCREAMING, including this we’re at 20,712 words im-
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survivormarmoreal · 5 years
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Episode #13: "im so EMO (TION)" - Bryce
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I cant believe that im still here. And we have majority. 3 vs 2. Matt is coming to me know saying that he wants to work with me but like. Bruh. But that could be good tho having him. I have to see what happens with immunity first.
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OKOKOKOK CAN WE JUST DISCUSS HOW AM I A FUCKING GOAT. FIRST OF ALL Jock destroyers was a pretty dominant alliance i played a SNITCH RAT GAME with exposing plans and i was lied to but like can i get some credit here like first of all it was my fucking ideal to even force a tie, bryce wanted sharky out he didn't want rocks i wanted rocks when my ass was literally on the line here and i was still willing to go to rocks because i don't want to be a fucking goat and do what bryce or sharky wants this is the only way i could get brian SHARKYS #1 ALLY out of the game so that you know who sharky's #1 ALLY IS NOW FUCKING ME. so you know what yeah i'm a goat, greatest of all time actually and i at least deserve some level of credit or respect here to pull some shit off like this. only person on the fucking tribe with the balls to do this shit and i don't even have balls. OK BYE.
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i literally dont have words. i keep having meltdowns and like its so not like me i usually just treat games as fun but im just so upset bc brian went home when we could have prevented it and now im in a spot where annabelle and sharky control things and im basically going to get 5th. i really thought i was doing something and life came at me real quick and said learn ur place KJFSHKJDFHSKJ. like the play anna made was smart so go her i just hate that i got played and that brian left with the vote steal and that my game is ruined and i came so far and i thought i was playing alright also i hate how everyone and their mother keeps calling me out for playing the middle KJSFHFKS like grow up and shade me in ur confessionals not to my face im SENSITIVE AUBRY. basically the point is: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/506665419092918273/541697763788980225/image0.jpg
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I'm SHOCKED. I swore to Annabelle I wouldn't right her name down. And yet she writes my name down! And just as I was thinking I could trust Bryce HE RALLIES VOTES AGAINST ME! I'm so pissed off, and scared, and hurt, and now I have to scramble to figure something out.
Okay let recap everything that has gone down in this 24 hours since I was betrayed. So I talked to Annabelle A LOT. Basically we've talked to each other a ton. I discover that Anna made the plan for the tie and then Bryce was only willing to flip if the vote was for me. SHADY. I knew I should have never trusted him. So basically either I convince Annabelle to save me, everyone goes to rocks, or Matt and Brian flip on me and I go home. I would have said the last one was super unlikely. So I start busting my ass to sway Annabelle. We have really opened up to each other about our games, she is feeling like she has to make a big move. I talked to her about how I feel hurt because I've busted my ass all game to save Anna and Matt and now they both seem unwilling to save me. I tell the guys we just have to be nice but imply to her she stands no shot of making the end without me and how Bryce is going to win. She has no idea we have the vote steal so Brian/Matt would definitely get Bryce out next. So I go to sleep thinking we are making progress. I wake up an Anna is like "Matt was rude to me so I'm definitely not flipping" so I'm starting to feel really hopeless. And then Matt and Brian both started to dodge the idea of rocks. And Anna is telling me Bryce thinks Matt is probably going to flip. So i'm thinking it's over. And in the FB Bois chat Matt and Brian both keep being like "I'm so conflicted" "we'd be guaranteed f4" "blah blah blah" So now I'm realizing these two aren't willing to go to rocks for me. I've spent this whole season trying to save our alliance at any cost. And now that I'm the one in danger...they aren't willing to take the risk. SO now I get it. I've been too nice. If they are going to put their games above mine and aren't willing to risk it so all 3 of us can make F5...I'm going to have to make sure we take that risk because it's my only shot. So I pitch to Anna a way she can get her rocks and I can be safe. We tell them that Anna agrees to save me. That way they think were set and it'll all work out and then it'll go to rocks and I'll be safe. It's super risky and I'm putting all my faith in Annabelle and I feel so scared and guilty and idk but this is the only way I survive and there is a chance Anna goes and it all works out. But...it's also not lost on me that Anna is willing to risk her own game to save me...but my own alliance isn't. I'm feeling...weird.
Brian went home. I...honestly am just feeling horrible. And he was so mad at me. Like mad to the point that I'm worried I ruined a real life friendship over this game. And Matt is furious too and he's going off on me in our group chat which fucking sucks. Like that was the worst case scenario for me. And it sucks. But I shouldn't have to feel bad about this. Like both Brian and Matt were willing to vote me out so they didn't have to go to rocks. They put their game first so why am I a villain for doing the same thing? And they want to be like "we were up front with you about not being sure" like that's supposed to make me feel better. Yeah of course you were honest you weren't the ones in danger. It's easy for y'all to be honest when you're just going to vote me out. I couldn't have been honest with them or they would have flipped and I would have gone home. How do they not see that? Was I supposed to just give up? How is that fair? And how is it that they can vote me out and I just have to accept that but they can't accept that I saved myself. I'm feeling super alone, like I can't trust anybody, and like my best friends won't even take a second to look at it from my point of view. Of course I feel terrible. I just hope this doesn't come between genuine friendships.
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ANNA REALLY JUST CLOCKS ME AND SHE KNOW SHE CAN BC WHAT ELSE AM I GOING TO DO. me matt maynor better be this f3 matt might win tbh but idc! anna has CROSSED ME and like laughs in my face FKJADSHFKAJ like yes ur iconic yes u did #that but im in this game with u and its a lil rude to flaunt ur success at me FKJADSHFAKJ when i do sth good i would never constantly bring it up (btw i won immunity once and got that cute blue color so everyone is jealous prob...) also im so emo i miss dennis and i miss brian they were the 2 ppl who i felt close to in the game and theyre both gone i literally am so upset i feel like if i wasnt so busy before tribal i could have talked to brian more and convinced him he had to vote sharky bc i KNEW anna was voting sharky but he bought her lies and i was convincing enough so i just feel its my fault i lost my closest ally (and his vote steal) although maybe he would have beat me in the end so this is good thing? nope! like i think i played alright in the middle but ppl prob wont respect it and idk if i would bc clearly im biased and maybe i am just a goat and thats why im still in like i rly tried to do sth this round but didnt i just ugh so demotivated hehe but maybe ill snap or sth insert positive uplifting quote here i just hope that i can turn this around and defeat anna and her pet shark. ALTHOUGH ITS LIKE WHERE THE BIG DOG PULLS ITS OWNER AND WALKS IT INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND. im so EMO (TION)
yesterday i was feeling a LOT of emotions and now that i have distanced myself i realize that my emotions were VALID and i am perfect and had the RIGHT to be upset that everything went wrong. i am speaking my immunity win into existence it WILL happen. i HAVE done the homework and even if i flop it (which i wont) i will still NOT GO HOME bc matt and maynor are hopefully on my side. OK BUT LIKE IM JUST SO JKAFSHKAJDSFHADSKFJA
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This immunity is very important. We cant let Matt or Sharky win it. We need to have the opinion for them available to be voted out.
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So like.... I am upset and feel very alone now in this game. Brian got rocked out and i was lied to again. I am just like so over it. I feel manipulated when I did have all the power and could've got a big threat out. but NO sharky and anna the fucking dynamic duo they are decided it would be fun to go to rocks! I am just so over it. Im getting fucking 5th place and I am MAD.
OR AM I? I decided to lie last night and say i gave my idol to brian last night. Why? It would paint an even bigger target on my back so i can go idoling. Cause of course I am not dumb enough to go and give my idol away hell naw. Instead, I need to knock sharky out of the immunity comp tonight but then get everyone on my case so they vote me. then boom idol. i know that this should get me to f3. I hope. If sharky goes next, and anna/maynor win FIC. then i know i can get at least maynor with me cause Bryce will then be the clear winner out of us 4. then maybe i will have a shot at the win but eh, need to get there first. I hope to god this can work and if not, final juror here i come!
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I woke up feeling TERRIBLE. I feel so bad about the Brian situation. Matt won't respond because he probably hates me. I feel like a trash person. And tbh I'm questioning if I even deserve to be here.
I feel sick. Literally this is the worst case scenario. If anybody else had won everything would be fine. And now Matt has like given up which makes me even sadder. I'm honestly considering asking everybody to vote me out. So that Matt at least has a shot of making FTC. This sucks.
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I WON IMMUNITY WOOOH IM SO ICONIC IM LITERALLY A LOSING FINALIST AND EVERYONE WANTS ME OUT I FEEL LIKE ILL LOSE IN THE END BUT THAT WONT STOP THESE PPL FROM GIVING ME 4TH WHEN I LOSE THE NEXT IMMUNITY AJKFDSHKFAJ THEYRE ALL LIKE SO VISIBLY DISAPPOINTED I WON IM SO SAD NNNN I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR THEM! i really hope they vote out sharky now bc its literally the smart move but im willing to bet theyll keep him to spite me annas gonna be like sharky needs to stay we get him out NEXT round and maynor might be convinced or sth idk and matt idk askdjfhdkjf i thought we were good but he ghosted me all day today so hm. club 96 nina and tina really falling apart
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Matt is literally shutting down. Like I'm trying to talk with him and mend things and try to rally him so we can figure out how to keep us both safe and honestly he's just not interested. He seems disinterested and honestly he's being kind of a brat. Stop pouting! Sack up and help me fight. Because yes I was selfish last round and that put us in a tough spot but It was never my idea to trust Bryce or my idea to ignore that we had a vote steal to secure our vote at F6. I'm not the only one who made mistakes. So come on and let's freaking recover! Or are we just supposed to lay down and award Bryce the win? UGH
I was really on the brink of asking everybody to vote me out. But Matt is being so useless right now. If he's going to act like that he'll just get picked off at F4. He has no fight. So I'm over it. I really do love him but at this point I'm going to have to just try my best to get Annabelle and Maynor to believe that they stand the best chance at FTC against me, instead of Bryce or Matt. I've already ruined my reputation so I might as well at least try to fight. I feel over everything but I have to get it together.
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The vote hopefully is between Matt and Sharky. I know Bryce really wants Sharky gone. Annabelle and I are talking and seeing which route is the best for us to make it to the end.
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Like wow. My brain is so big. Im pretending that I threw away my idol to brian at the last second, and that I am leaving this round. Whereas in actually reality I still have my idol and sure as heck im playing it tonight and making final 4 YEET. like woe is me, woe is me, lol no bitch im here to stay. Sharky like, needs to leave as well. I love him but 2 big if a threat and I would quite like to well, win.
Oh and as I write this annabelle needs me huh. Well listen here, you lied to my fucking face and got brian out. Thus, you also need to leave bish. I am fed up of being lied 2 constantly by these fuckers called my tribemates and I am NOT here for it anymore. Time to play the lies and deceit game myself huh
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This round is so weird for me. I felt like I was in such a tough place and feeling really defeated. But now Anna is getting paranoid and there is a very slim chance I could get her to to vote Maynor and then Matt and I both make F4. But my issues is I can't trust anybody. Because I don't think anybody trusts me. Like Maynor is being very noncommittal. Anna keeps flip flopping and maybe she'll flip onto me. Matt seems on board but honestly maybe he deeply deeply hates me and is just lying and will vote me out.
There is a little over an hour left before tribal. I'm convinced that it's me going home. Everyone seems to be too easy to agree to vote with me. It's not looking good.
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Literally wtf. The Biggest plot twist of the century is occurring. I'M THE SWING VOTE?? Like since when in hell was I going to be the deciding factor. I mean I like it, I have the power for once and I am safe but still omg i LOVE IT! I am bunsen the Berner in this image, deciding between 2 fates: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DzD8lXwUwAAgTlp?format=jpg&name=900x900
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Having a panic attack. Im really nervous. Like i know its between Matt and Sharky. But there is still a chance that somehow me or annabell could still go. I hope it doesnt and its clear cut with Sharky and Matt. Fingers cross. Or imma die.
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i had a good talk with anna today and i kind of love her (as long as she votes sharky) i think maynor might go now which is sad bc anna says matt/sharky are doing that but like matt says that he wants me maynor him f3 so who knows! anna like was honest with me about not knowing who to vote and seems to be voting sharky but literally anything can happen so whomst knows.
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okokok i feel so fucking badly about this move like so badly ughhhhhhhhhh but i feel like it has to happen i'm so so soooo sorry sharky like you have no idea i've been torn all day on what i should do and idk i feel like i lose no matter what this fucking blows
Sharky is voted out 4-1. 
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