#one thing about robbie? he was gonna commit to the ad bits

[septembermonologues]

dorian needs to be the next guest character purely so sam can put together another dave matthews band bit while robbie has his mullet

#one thing about robbie? he was gonna commit to the ad bits #and i love that about him #he just fits at the table so well #critical role

[simply-not-an-egg]

Cobra Kai, Future Season/s Dump Because I Have Many Thoughts

I’m gonna split this up into sections because oh boy are there a lot of things I’d like to see in the future of this series from these characters. DISCLAIMER; THIS ISN’T COMPLETE YET, SO KEEP CHECKING BACK TO SEE WHEN THIS DISCLAIMER DISSAPEARS BECAUSE AT THAT POINT IT SHOULD BE COMPLETE. I COULDN’T BE BOTHERED KEEPING IT IN MY DRAFTS.

Johnny Lawrence and Daniel LaRusso

So where we left off in Season 3 is Daniel and Johnny joining their dojos to become one to defeat the big enemy, Cobra Kai. But what does that also mean for them? They’re pretty much friends now, as much as either would them would probably hate to admit it. Anyway, these dynamics now presented, it opens up a lot of potential plots for them, the biggest of which being Lawrusso becoming canon at some point in the future, which I’d say is HIGHLY likely considering, as we all know, Ralph Macchio is the captain of said ship, and William Zabka, as far as I’m aware, is fairly supportive of this ship (FYI, Macchio has also said in an interview before that Johnny and Daniel have a very will they, won’t they? Ross and Rachel relationship, and imo, that’s not something you’d say about platonic friends). Anyhoo, below is pretty much what I’d love to see of them, and how it all happens, because trust me, there’s a long road to get to the point where we all want Lawrusso to be.

Personally, I would think neither Johnny or Daniel bat an eye about this whole potential relationship between the two of them until certain kids in their dojo start pairing up, and by certain kids I mean Eli/Hawk and Demetri, which would likely happen at some point during Season 4 after they’ve talked through their trauma and, for the most part, forgiven each other (mainly Demetri forgiving Eli/Hawk). 

The reason I say this is because I don’t think either Johnny or Daniel would have ever expected such a relationship to be considered normal, or for one just have it be accepted, because the two of them grew up in the 80s, where it was still shamed upon to be anything other that cis and het.

Such a thing leads me to the next point of internalised homophobia and repression, and the absolute confusion and probably shame that would come with realising that they aren’t straight, more or less on Daniel’s end. I feel as though Johnny wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it though because a) he’s a free agent, and yes I know he’s had an almost on/off thing with Carmen, but they’ve never actually, you know, laid the cards on the table and said, ‘yeah we’re a couple’, and b) I, like many others, are inclined to believe Johnny may be bisexual, which therefore gives him the crutch of ‘well I also like girls so I must be normal to a degree’. I also think Johnny would be in some way learning through the kids that all is well, and that’s it’s alright to feel the way he feels about people, because, I mean, let’s face it, literally no one in that dojo is straight. The show’s not Cobra Kai, it’s Cobra Queer. Now, Daniel, on the other hand, would have so much more trouble coming to, and accepting the conclusion that he may have a thing for dudes.

The biggest reason for that being, of course, his marriage to Amanda. I think that would definitely be the thing that messes with him the most, and I feel as though he’d be doing a lot of self-questioning, you know, such as things like ‘did i ever love her?’ or ‘have i been faking it all these years?’, which to both, we know, the answer is no, because, even if he was a straight A gay, it is possible to love someone without being attracted to them as per say. But anyway, I digress.

Daniel would probably end up questioning Amanda a lot too, whether she feels he’s good enough for her, or if he’s done right by her, et cetera, et cetera. This would likely make her question him, obviously, because her husband’s acting stranger than normal, and I feel like all that questioning on her part would likely lead to a breakdown on Daniel’s end in which case he would spill out all these emotions and feelings and realisations about him liking dudes. And obviously, all of this would absolutely crush Amanda’s heart, and he knows it, but she takes it in her stride, and does what she can to help him.

With this though would obviously come the divorce, something which is mutually agreed on, but they remain good friends. Course, they also have to tell the kids then why this is happening, and Sam is terribly accepting, of course. Anthony I’m not so sure about, but I think at the end of the day he loves his dad, nonetheless. I also think that Anthony would be inclined to live with his mother post-divorce, although he’d still come round on weekends to see his dad, meanwhile Sam lives with her father. 

Following their sexual awakenings then, along with personal acceptance, comes the realisations of the crushing. The way Johnny cares so much about the kids and how Daniel smiles at that, the way Daniel is always so calm and collected and how comforting of a feeling that is for Johnny. And I think, as an added bonus, the kids realise their senseis have a thing for one another before they even do themselves.

Their friendship grows though, one step at a time, and I think at some point there’s a night where Johnny and Daniel are sitting out on the deck at the dojo, drinking and reminiscing and laughing all the while. And it is that exact night that changes everything. Because at some point, when they’ve become substantially intoxicated, they let both their walls down completely, and in Johnny asking a question about Daniel’s divorce, the latter opens up as to why it happened. Because he’s gay. And I swear to god Johnny almost chokes hearing that, because, deep down in his subconscious, he’s been waiting to hear something like that from Daniel since they were in high school.

Suddenly, after that, the metaphorical blindfolds come off, and Johnny and Daniel actually, properly, begin to realise now that they are crushing on one another and hard. They’ve fallen head over heels and there’s nothing they can do about it. But they are both timid, and I feel Johnny more than Daniel in this case. 

Eventually Daniel gets the guts to ask Johnny out, on a date, to which the latter agrees, and they likely just spend their night eating gas station food (to Daniel’s begrudgement), and driving around various spots in town, including the sports hall where the All Valley Tournament of ‘84 was held. There I think they also really talk, for the first time, about everything that went down that night. Daniel thanks Johnny for giving him the trophy again, and Johnny ends up in tears when he talks about Kreese and what he did to him. And all the while Daniel comforts him, and probably gets a bit cheesy in saying they’ve got each other now, and they’ll take him down together, at which Johnny makes a snide comment about the cheesiness, but they laugh together nonetheless. They end the night with a very tentative first kiss outside Johnny’s apartment before Daniel drives home, smiling all the while. 

Of course, as fate has it, and schedules, the next day there is a karate session, and it’s likely a bit awkward between the two then because their stuck in that position of ‘we’re not friends but we’re also not in a proper romantic relationship yet and we’re also basically gay so like what do we do’. To fix said awkward tension, Johnny ends up asking Daniel out on a second date on the weekend, and Daniel agrees, granted he chooses what to do and where to go (because Johnny did that last time).

I feel like Daniel takes Johnny to the forest he took Robby to for that karate training session, because it means a lot to Daniel, that spot. And much like the last time, they find themselves talking more and more about whatever deep, unresolved trauma the two have, whether that be because of each other or because of external factors (family, friends, shared enemies, et cetera). I think this date also has them gaining a tad more confidence with each other when it comes to physical things, like kissing and holding hands and just all that relationship stuff (because they enjoy it a lot, they’re both just still afraid to do these things, because, again, this stuff was taboo when they were growing up).

They end up going on a third and fourth date, the latter of which they discuss their respective families (aka the children), and what and how they’re going to tell them, along with Johnny’s own fears about Robby and, if and when he comes back, how he’s going to feel about this. 

Following the fourth date they decide to make things official between them, and once again, there is a bit of tentativity when it comes to calling one another ‘boyfriend’ but they get over it soon enough, and in time the two are happily commiting to soft PDA whenever they see each other. All the karate kids(TM) are of course happy and accepting of their senseis. 

And I’m just gonna say, the moment their relationship becomes truly public is at the All Valley Tournament. They’re holding hands, their giving comforting hugs, and when their kids kick Cobra Kai’s asses, you bet they give each other the biggest, most public kiss ever. 

And following all of that, I just wanna see the domestic karate dads just being happy??

Oh and Robby has a great reaction to this relationship, because, you know, Daniel was like a father figure, so him just being with his dad is great (not to mention, it probably makes him more open about discussing his feelings to them about Miguel)

Demetri and Hawk

Miguel, Robby, and Sam

Robby getting chokeheld by Kreese after losing the All Valley. That’s it. I want that parallel between Robby and Johnny. Adding to that, Johnny then beats the sh*t out of Kreese, and as Kreese has made the mistake of trying to choke a minor in front of a crowd, this gets him arrested

Tory

Ali, Carmen, and Amanda

Kreese and Silver

As much as I hate it, I would like to see this Daniel’s trauma pop up in season 4, better yet if it affects Daniel to a point where it worries Johnny, because then perhaps there’ll be a good understanding between the two that they’ve BOTH had traumatic senseis in the past

What I’d also like to see is for Silver to continue Cobra Kai, if Kreese gets arrested for whatever public displays of violence, because that would create quite a large fear plot for Daniel’s part, and it would be really cool to then explore all his trauma

I’d love to see more of Kreese and his Sugar Daddy in general. Like I never thought I’d say it but I do ship them. Do I like them? F*ck no. But they are husbands imo, and I need to see more of those type of scenes in S4

Something I thought of was Silver showing up at Daniel (and Johnny’s) dojo while they’re doing a class, and I want that to be the first time Daniel sees him. It will make him freeze, I know it, and as much as I hate watching Daniel suffer, I also love it

The Lawrusso Dojo

Cobra Kai

The All Valley Tournament

LaRusso Auto Group

Other

#karate kid #cobra kai #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #lawrusso #demetri deservesalastname #demetri cobra kai #eli moskowitz #miguel diaz #robby keene #samantha larusso #tory nichols #ali mills #carmen diaz #amanda larusso #john kreese #terry silver #miyagi-do #eagle fang

[nochiquinn]

exandria unlimited episode 2: there is no witty title for this that they didn’t already do IN THE EPISODE and I’m upset about it

OH NO PLATEAU

Dorian Stagename

"a simple faun druid" made of poison flowers

dwarf himbo

omar: NOT AGAIN

oh THAT'S why matt did that to his face

THE BROKEN GLASS IN THE INTRO IS RESIDUUM

A Baby Left In Prison

please turn the baby ankheg loose in emon, please please please

aw man

"people take care of expensive things"

perception check for the MASSIVE CLOUD OF SMOKE

"to be honest we're all very attractive"

"making erratic choices" you've nailed that part already

my mom's voice yelling "YARD SALE"

liam is carrying this group on melee, stealth, AND brain cells

oh no is this just the kids scrambling around the school in breakfast club

I LOVE THEM

I love the mental image of Opal Elle Woodsing while Dorian gets flailed around in the background

gaslight gatekeep girlboss

when there was only one set of footprints, it was when you were being thrown around by a probable assassin

ashley looked at caduceus' staff and said "gimme"

1/3 nelson

aabria accidentally does her dating sim after all

just squiggle out of the grapple

"his head that I wanna punch is so far away"

aimee carrero is a national treasure

broad rainlight

POINT BLANK ELDRITCH BLAST

"the sophie's choice of warlocks"

"roll your real dice! coward!"

"all the girls get rope training" I was gonna insinuate something about vex and percy but I feel like we knew

opal can help, she's clearly good at tying knots

til the name for a pergola

like I knew what it WAS but I didn't know the name for it

he drinks and he knows things

VIBRANIUM

you could SEE the realization on her face

"first giggle fit of the show" SOMEHOW

do you spice

whitestone: is it drugs yet

oh no.

god bless matt committing to this bit

cool I hate it

"we're a chaotic group" you just noticed

"we're all nonsense!"

aabria mouthing "the shade!" at the camera

the image of sparkly pink and purple opal with the black onyx crown is very nice

opal(/aimee?) just stumbling her way through the plot

"you nailed it! but you don't know that, because you rolled like dirt!"

every time aabria side eyes the camera three years are added to my life

I know We Knew but it's nice to hear keyleth's name again

feywild field trip FEYWILD FIELD TRIP

I can't figure out if I want this animated bc it would be SO much fun or if I don't bc I don't want this chaos confined to a script

"what is the alignment of a banana"

"the grapes are FUCKED"

syngorn crest??? arty get out of here

"her hooves are made for walking"

ugh ugh ugh too real dial it back

ashley WILL find an animal to give scritches, even if she has to make it herself

man I want that pride shirt

dariax

"non-binary halfling" oh, same

I swear I've been listening, something is Fucking Up with the Fire Plane and all I can think about is Allura

OH NO PLATEAU

"you grabbed the crown but you couldn't grab a little more FOOD?!"

IT'S A CROWN IN A BOX

Athlete's Foot of the Spider Queen

it's the starter area from botw

fearne needs advantage, she gots goat feet

ashley burn your dice

"darian" VALIDATION that's what I keep trying to say

(robbie IS "darien" lmao) (huehuehue sailor moon joke)

how. how often have you been almost-stabbed, opal.

"I grab Faun - Fearne - DAMN YOU ALL"

"you're YOUR OWN PAIR"

"it's for windy boys ONLY"

"I'll take a ribbon from somewhere" "BE SPECIFIC"

beans for the time soup

[dbza voice] SEN-ZU BEAN!

mister stop eating the weird sky ash

Why Don't You Just Shoot It

"I made such a mess and it's not my problem to clean it up"

big mister??

I came back to opal's magic not working??

"did I STUTTER??"

no it's because you GOT IN A BITCH FIGHT WITH YOUR PATRON

TOLD YOU

"I AM your magic, BITCH!"

"I have a twin sister" "who's a mountain?"

The Ash Hole

they broke aabria

they broke matt

they broke

"I'm really banking on the fact that my parents will not be watching"

"this is so stupid" "yes this is dungeons and dragons, what's your point"

"I will kill you in two episodes bc you turned my cool sigil into a butthole"

oh no!! vapor mister!!

also it is 1:20 am

SEE OPAL

wait a dire what, I zoned out bc of the aforementioned 1:20 am

"math! ever heard of it? NO!!"

"come back to fearne. and away from me."

"did you roll a natural 20?" "nooooo"

see, dariax, this is what happens when you attack the monkey

opAL

lmao matt calling liam out for vexnvax

dariax has monkeyphobia

wait fearne WHAT

"the scientific method" he's not...totally wrong

HEY. HEY I KNOW THAT WORD. HEY.

MY BOYYYYYYYYYY

liam don't FLIRT with him this time

opal just apologize to your sister

aimee forgot the word residuum again

the iranian yogurt is not the issue here

excited to see a. aabria’s take on gilmore 2. liam flirt out of instinct

#critical role #exandria unlimited #spoilers #liveblog #reaction post #crititag #exutag

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

Astor nodded. He and paced the hall and muttered under his breath.

“I see...I never meddled in the realm of technology...but to think that Sheikah Technology could hold such a secret.” He tapped his chin, staring at the astrolabe on the other side of the dungeon bars. “I suppose it makes sense. The advanced accomplishments and feats that such technology is capable of...it’s only naturally that it is powered by unconventional means.”

Siv spun the Sheikah Core on his index finger like it was a ball. “Yeeeep. I’m guessing that’s what allowed the super old dudes to beat the Calamity all those years ago.” He shook his head. “So, yeah. Dick Lord Ganon is gonna use that to turn the Guardians and Divine Beasts against us. And even if the science peeps keep researching into them...well.” He looked up at Astor. “Obviously, they would never figure out this crucial little detail even after a hundred years of science-ing. So this is our little secret, capiche?”

Astor nodded again. If what Asivus was saying was true (And it was) then Hyrule were truly doomed. The Calamity would exploit this secret, and use it to flip the entire war on its head. This is what Ganon would use to turn the Divine Beasts against them.

If any of the researchers found out about this aspect of Ancient Technology, and adapted to it, then Ganon would lose his biggest advantage...and it might be possible to...

The seer quickly shook away the thought. No, even if they knew, the world would be helpless all the same when the Princess fails to awaken their powers. In fact, it would probably be more brutal if Ganon’s forces were reliant completely on the bludgeoning and stabbing that came with monsters. Machines would have avoidable patterns in a post-apocalyptic world, but monsters of malice would be exceptionally harder.

So yes...We keep this info from everyone. Especially Robbie and Purah and...

“How sure are you that no one else could figure this out?” Astor asked.

“Decently sure. I mean, it’d be pretty hard to guess such a crazy thing.” Asivus shrugged.

“Are you positive? Because I know my—” He stopped in his tracks, suddenly stumbling on his words. “I—in reference to random researchers—other non-specified—she’s not—Look. There are very talented and intelligent researchers across the kingdom, surely someone—”

“Did you say it yourself? Everyone’s way to arrogant around here!” Siv threw his hands in the air, exasperated. “No one’s gonna look for faults in their perfect little war machines! They shoot lasers, and don’t talk back. It’s a general’s wet dream. Even if someone figured out this secret, no one here would listen to them.” He waved his hand in a circle and gestured towards his half brother. “Case in point: You.”

Astor folded his arms and sighed. “Alright, fine. So that’s how the Calamity will turn the Guardians and Beasts against us. But what’s the actual execution of it all? The plan? What’s your play in this? How did the Guardians in the yard get corrupted?”

Siv was silent; thinking. He seemed to be endlessly swimming through thoughts and words and memories. The man fiddled with the discs surrounding the astrolabe, eyes drooping in misery. Interesting.

“I was supposed to make them. That’s what he wanted,” Asivus finally said. “Beast of water, lightning, air, and fire. Or, demons? Blights or something. Creatures that were to take on the Divine Beasts.They’re built slightly different than Guardians, so he needed a little something special to deal with ‘em.” He blew hair off his forehead with a huff. “It all sorta just came into my head in the minutes before I fucked up those Guardians, so the details come and go, but that’s the gist. I make the Blights, Ganon does his thing, then I wait at the Sanctum to achieve true happiness or whatever he was bullshitting.”

“But you failed.” Astor interjected. “You failed to make the blights, and thus today’s calamity failed. At least, in this timeline.” Siv opened his mouth to object, but he continued to think outloud. “The Guardians were a fluke, then. You were not capable of creating Blights, but wielded enough malice to corrupt a Guardian. Although that brings into question how you control malice to begin with...and why you were chosen specifically for the task...”

Asivus was silent again, spinning the astrolabe on the floor. Astor observed him for a moment.

“Is he speaking to you? At the moment?” The seer asked. “Every time you fall silent is when you start looking down at that device. That thing I can correctly assume is the instigator of all this, given that you look at it every time I ask about the recent Guardians you ruined.”

Asivus narrowed his eyes at him, annoyed at being so readable.

“Ganon isn’t in your head, as you said you were overcome with this information in the minutes you truly held that astrolabe and walked by the Guardians.” He thought back. “Earlier before the incident you said you had a dream, and then you found the astrolabe? You leave it on your desk as a paper weight, before developing the decent moral to drop off a potential lost item to the Sheikah. But then you were holding the astrolabe in proximity to the Guardians, and subsequently are suddenly given the revelation to the Calamity’s plan...”

He locked eyes with him. “Combine that with the truth about all Sheikah Technology itself...and the fact that your eyes only change when that core is in your possession...”

Astor walked closer and gripped one of the bars, calmly. “That astrolabe is the link between you and the Calamity. It speaking to you through it. It’s lending you the power to control malice. It’s a manifested vessel of Ganon’s ill intent for this world...perhaps made of whatever malice plagues yourself. Perhaps he chose you for the job because you’re brimming with his favourite substance.”

Assivus started at the seer, and blinked once. Astor took that as confirmation, but asked anyways: “Am I wrong?”

Siv bit his tongue for a moment, before sighing in defeat. “You’ve got Ligero’s mannerisms down to the T. The perceptiveness nearly makes me wish I had actually paid attention to his parenting attempts.”

Something twisted inside Astor at that comment, and his voice grew a dangerous edge. “I’m nothing like him.”

“It’s alright, don’t take it personally. I just have a love-hate relationship with smart people.”

“Tsk.” The prophet stared down the corridor in thought. “Don’t we all.”

“But you’re wrong about one thing.” Siv added, and he looked up at Astor with a new seriousness. “I didn’t ‘fail’ to make the blights.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I didn’t fail to make the blights, I didn’t want to.” Asivus raised his voice, and rolled the astrolabe to the other side of the cell. “You can’t fail something you never really attempted in the first place.” He winked. “I mean, that’s been my philosophy on life for the last 15 years, heh.”

Astor blinked in surprise. “But...why? The world is doomed, and you were handed a position of life and power on a silver tray. Chosen above anyone else.  Why wouldn’t—?”

“I didn’t do it because I’m not like you, pissface!” Siv snapped. “I jump outta my socks to make a selfish decision. I don’t just run away from any inconvenience in my life.”

Astor nearly laughed. “Oh? And what exactly is it that you do, then? You’re really going to preach to me, Mr. Assivus Asunder?”

“YEAH! That name is exactly why I decided this!” He waved his arms in the air, and gestured to himself as he slumped against the wall. “Taking action and fighting for anything, regardless of what, sucks ass. Initiating change? Bad. Acting on what you care about? No likey.” Siv pounded his chest proudly. “The ideal ending for Asivus Ex-Hartell is to just chill out, and wait for the end. Drink in hand!”

He raised his empty flask, but nonetheless pretended to drink.

Astor frowned, but let the distant drip of leaking water echo in the corridor.

He watched Siv for a few more minutes, silently tapping his fingers on his elbow.

“You still care about your brother.”

It was a good think his flask was empty, as otherwise he would have spit out his drink. Siv angrily sputtered. “The fuck does that have to do with anything—?!”

“Why are you just relaxing in there after all this time?  You think you deserve this? Don’t want to be a burden for others?” Astor looked him up and down.

“Listen, you little shit. I know at this point it shouldn’t be a surprise that my family is made up of asshole, but—”

“You know when I first saw you around the castle, I did recognize you. The eyes, you see. But of course, I didn’t see the need to trouble you with my story, but I did watch you.” The prophet sneered. “Dear Asivus Hartell, sneaking into town to share a peach cobbler with his niece. Assivus Asunder, teaching his nephew to shield surf, and trying to encourage him down a more righteous path than his own. The Royal Orator Siv, who thanks his little brother for taking care of him by spending four hours making perfect hand drawn rat doodle cards.” Astor leaned down with a smirk. “You’re not the only one who paid attention to the captain’s birthday presents.”

“Alright get to the point, fuckface.” He waved the prophet off. “What? I screw around with my dumb family. What’s it gotta do with anything?”

“It means that for all your talk of laying down and dying and giving up, your action seems to indicate that you don’t actually believe that.” He jabbed a finger at Siv through the bars. “Or at least you don’t fully. Maybe you don’t want to. So don’t go blathering about your sorry life, only to try and insult me in the next minute. This isn’t about your apathy. You’re just scrambling at this low bar Ganon gives you as you drool the rare opportunity to unequivocally be an undeniably good person. You just want to tell yourself you’re a hero.”

Quiet.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

“OK.” Asivus curled his lip. “I didn’t want to join Ganon, because I’m still stupidly trying to not be an asshole. I’m too much of a wuss to commit to the dickhead role I was probably meant to fulfill. I’m pathetically trying to keep control over my image—is THAT what you want to hear, magic man? Congratu-fucking-lations. You turned the tables, you can see how pathetic I am and can feel better about yourself. How do ya feel?” The astrolabe had rolled by Asivus’ lap, and gold speckled in his eyes.

Astor sighed and answered honestly. “...Well. I’m envious, truth be told.” Siv blinked, but let him continue. “I haven’t bothered trying to be a hero my whole life, much less have such a driven (and these days useless) hunger to be ‘good.’” The seer shook his head, staring down the hall again. “I’m envious, but I do think you’re a fool. I’d take the opportunity to wield the future in a heartbeat, no matter the consequences.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” Siv chuckled. “This malice stuff is fucked up.”

“Only because you don’t understand it.” Astor replied, offended. “I’ve studies it for years, and it’s often misunderstood. There’s a beauty and usefulness to it, even detached from the Calamity. You’re just not intelligent enough to get it, I understand. ‘Love-hate relationship,’ like you said.” He snorted.

“Are you sick?! This Ancient Core thing made me walk through so many shitty memories and thoughts...I wouldn’t walk through that again to end OR save the world.”

“Again. All due to your plight of ignorance. It’s not your fault.”

Asivus rolled his eyes. “You know what? Why don’t you explain it me then?! If you’re so excited about it? Talk aaall about how I’m not fit to properly wield this and how pathetic I am?”

Siv dangled the astrolabe in the air between his fingers.

“Go on! Explain how great this malice is, and maybe then if you’re so eager I’ll just leave the thing in your care!”

#??? #Assivus Hartell #hku spoilers #Digging In and Sinking

[marsupials-of-mars]

Septic Android Pt2

Jack yawned. His eyes were crusted and the voices in the room sounded like they were underwater. He cracked his eyes open and rolled to the side to see Henrik at his laptop, Jackieboy, Marvin, Jameson, Chase and Robbie all huddled around him. He must’ve dosed off.

His heart started beating faster. Did he miss an upload? Did Robbie get fixed? Did Anti cause more trouble? Scenarios pummeled his brain. He pushes himself up, pulling the linen blanket around his shoulders.

“Shneep?” He squeaked out. The doctor turned to him and his eyes lightened.

“OH! Jack, you are awake! We were just talking about you-“ he was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder as Jameson pointed to something on the screen. “Ah yes how could I forget?” He fixed something he was working on and turned back.

Jack tipped his head. “Is everything okay? Did I misss anything? What are you working on?” Shneep grinned in excitement.

“Only a gift for you!” His German accent only got thicker in his excitement. Jack was confused.

“Is it a holiday...?” Shneep laughed.

“No it is no holiday! It’s a thank you gift!” The egos surrounding him nodded in confermation.

“A... thank you gift? What did I do?” Shneeps expression became serious.

“When you came in earlier, I realized you were severely sleep deprived. It forced me to consider all you do for zis household. You need more help around here. Whether you’d like to admit it or not. We’re a handful sometimes.”

“All the time.” Jackieboy chimed in. His mask was on his forehead and his nose was bandaged.

Jack couldn’t disagree. Living in such a hectic house WAS getting to him... even though he never liked to admit it in fear that they’d think he was saying he disliked them. “Wait... what kind of gift can help me around the house?”

Jameson chimed in.

*Well, we realized you were hounded with tasks and chores we gave you. So we thought that if we got you something to take care of a good amount of those, you’d be happier and healthier.*

“So!” Robbie chimed in, looking to Henrik for permission to reveal. He nodded. “We’re ordering you an android!”

Jack was washed with confusion. “Wait, hows a phone gonna do chores?”

Robbie giggled. “Not a phone! An android! Like a robot!”

Jacks eyes widened with shock. “You’re getting me an android?! Don’t those cost a fortune?!”

Henrik chuckled proudly. “Please, Jack, I am a world renowned doctor. I can operate on demons and ze undead. I have ze money.”

He turned back to his laptop, leaving Jack to wonder at the idea. An android... he swung his legs over the side of the bed and huddled over between a red bodysuit and a blue vest to catch a glimpse at the laptop.

He gasped. They had already uploaded a set of photos from his Instagram which formed the body and face of the robot. They were making it look like him. Fitting if he was going to be part of the family. The onscreen display showed premium features, speakers, wheels, grappling arms, all hidden under the synthetic flesh like a Swiss Army knife. He could barely count them all.

“Should we make the base color green? Or something else?” The doctors voice snapped Jack out of his trance. He looked at the color gradient, watching the lights of the 3D model change color as the doc slid his mouse around the palette.

“I think I like the original blue. It makes it more soothing looking. And pretty.” Shneep nodded and selected the default.

Jack pulled up the website on his phone while Shneep fine tuned the details. AI Innovation Co... He read through the descriptions of the models. This company seemed to be the most distinguished and respected. They had models made for so many companies... Windows, Apple, Google, Firefox, explorer... even Bing had somehow mustered the money to have one built.

He soon realized this must be where Mark had gotten his robots, which did put him off a bit. Mark had put in a few complaints of his Google model committing different forms of manslaughter. But a quick search through customer help revealed the problem had been solved with the implement of slightly stricter laws of robotics. His wouldn’t have the same glitches.

In fact the longer he browsed his Amazon branded model, Alexa IRL, the more it seemed like the highest praised, most fine tuned robot on the market. There were very few customer reviews considering androids were often considered luxuries for millionaires, but what he read filled him with even more excitement.

‘Excelent model! Was exploring replacements for my Explorer IRL, which was sent with a waterproofing error, and this one is much better! Reliable and durable, the best thing amazon has made besides the website itself!’

‘I was experiencing issues with a stubborn and often disobedient Google model, but as soon as I got this one it was a breath of fresh air! It functions much differently, focusing on commands rather than questions, and is always happy to help!’

‘My first android! So far no problems in the few months I’ve had her! The kids love her, she’s the perfect full time nanny! No more waking up at 4am, she’s like a baby monitor that actually solves the problem! Her administrator set childlocks make sure she never gives the kids too many sweets before bed, and always gets them to sleep on time! 10/10 would recommend!

By the time he was finished, Jack was estatic. It was perfect! Childproofing could come in handy so Anti couldn’t use him for evil... he’d be perfect for fixing Robbies mishaps...

Marvin spoke up, his cape swishing as he turned to Jack. “It says we need voice samples... you could read off a dictionary. But it suggests that if you have any videos of the person being modeled, it can sample from that. Lifesaver. Should we just upload the channel?

Jack nodded. “At this point I’ve probably said most words in the English language.”

Marvin chuckled. “It’s so advanced... it says something about if a word occurs multiplie times, it chooses the tone best fit for the sentence...”

Jack grinned. The concept only exited him more and more!

“And...” Shneep dragged out the word as a loading bar filled. “Done! Does it look good Jack?”

Jack looked. He was so cool looking... he made sure the features were correct... he even had a sewing kit built in for Rob... he was smooth, shiny, and clean cut. He leaned over shneeps shoulders and set the robot clean shaven. It only fit his sleek design. “Perfect!” He loaded it again and added to cart. He chuckled at the banner saying ‘free shipping on orders over $30!’

He looked back at the egos who each nodded in turn. Some were absent. But they wouldn’t mind. He hit order.

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#bingplier #goopiplier #jacksepticeye #jameson jackson #dapper jack #alexepticeye #alexa #robbie the zombie #doctor shneepelstein #shneepelstein #henrik von schneeplestein #jackieboy man #therealjacksepticeye #marvin the magnificent

[harleenq-harleyquinn-blog]

This picture is going to play into my rant which’ll be comin’ soon.. So. I wanted to start my first post with a rant, cause I wanted to express my disdain for a certain portrayal of a certain DC comics character. Obviously, I’ll be talking about the wonderful Harley Quinn. I thought that this will be better on this blog cause instead of my other one cause why the hell not? I wanted to start off by saying that I have nothing against Margot Robbie, she was only acting in the way she was told to and she was portraying the character that they had written. But my god did I hate how she said ‘puddin.’ Honestly, I cringed every time she said it. It just didn’t sound right. I’ll try to describe it for those who do not understand. While Arleen Sorkin (the only Harley I’ll accept to be honest) puts emphasis on the 'u’, making it actually sound like the word pudding. Margot Robbie, on the other hand, said it without any emphasis on the 'u’ and instead saying it with with an 'uh.’ (Therefore pronouncing it 'puhdin’) That was just a little pet peeve I had with her. I don’t know, maybe it’s just my family and I who noticed this, but it annoyed me to no end. As for the writing, I get it. You guys think we all like the New 52. In all honesty, DC comics fans HATED the New 52. At least, the majority did. Not only that, but because of the marketing, you have brought people who have no knowledge of DC comics (or the amazing-layered-characters it contains) to the theater and are lead to believe that each of these characters are walking stereotypes. One example of this is Killer Croc, who is another amazing, layered character that you stripped everything away from. They wrote Harley as this stereotypical crazy, edgy, girlfriend who only wants to fix her abuser. While I’m at it, I might as well bring up the fact that they romanticized Harley and Joker’s relationship. What the hell? Why? Just why? Not only have you mislead the general public that you marketed to that they’re just two crazy people in love with no problems whatsoever, but people actually believe that they are 'relationship goals.’ I honestly roll my eyes whenever I hear anyone say ’*random everyday life thing*-goals’ cause to me it’s kinda stupid, but this just makes me nervous. If they were to actually pick up a fucking comic book, they’d either be horrified by Joker’s treatment of Harley (to which I applaud you, because you aren’t one of the people that I’m gonna mention next), or they’d immediately be in denial and say 'that’s not like them, they love each other and Joker would sacrifice himself so she got to safety.’ No. That isn’t how it works. That is not the relationship Paul Dini had intended on when he first wrote their relationship. You do not want a relationship like that. Harley also isn’t that person who’d want a regular life with him. She’s accepted Joker for the twisted person he is. Hell, she might not like him as much if he were normal. So that dream sequence was bullshit. Not to mention the fact that she’s smart enough to know that there is no going back from what they’ve done. There is no normal life. They’ve committed awful crimes, there’s no normal life for them anymore. They wouldn’t be able to have kids and keep them. Hell, in the 'Injustice’ comics (which is post-52 launch), Harley admits to Black Canary that she had a kid with Joker and he didn’t notice. She gave their kid to her sister so she would have a better life, so she wouldn’t be taken away from them, so Harley could stay in contact with her daughter. Another thing that bothered me about the movie was the excessive use of feminist characterization for Harley. If you’ve made it this far into my post, then you know that she was far from a feminist when she was first written. Hell, she was written to jump out of a cake, but Joker ended up doing that himself anyway, so she was really just there but evolved into something beautiful. She was originally a tale of domestic abuse and how she struggled with it. Sure she was able to break away from Joker for a bit, she’d always come back. Introducing Harley with a song called 'You Don’t Own Me’ really isn’t the best choice for her. Cause that’s exactly what she is to Joker, a possession. He owns her, but she doesn’t see it that way. If I am correct, he says something like 'I don’t like people touching my stuff’ in 'Assault On Arkham.’ So in other media, Joker treats her like a possession. Don’t get me started on the club scene, where Harley sits on some random guy’s lap saying 'Hey, you’re kinda cute.’ No. Just no. Even if Joker were trying to trade her, she wouldn’t openly flirt with some guy in front of Joker. Even if he was cute to her, she wouldn’t admit it in front of Joker. Now for my least favorite part (and I believe Ms. Robbie’s least favorite part as well) the costume. I fucking HATE this costume. I hate it with a fucking passion. It looks cheap. It looks awful and I feel nauseous every time I see it. Who the fuck thought THIS (the gif at the end) was a good idea? The thought process behind this was 'Yep, I’m Harley Quinn so I’m gonna wear a t-shirt, some short shorts that have the colors of a harlequin jester outfit, fishnets, and wear my hair so it resembles the harlequin hat!’ It was stupid. That, my friends, is where the picture at the top comes in to play. They claimed that none of the pre-existing outfits worked out for the movie. I have come up with something that-most likely-would have worked out. Use a material like spandex for the suit, and you should be good. Oh, and instead of heels, use combat boots. That should help with moving around. The best part about my little design, is that there is an alternate version without the jester headpiece! Isn’t that great! So you could have a Harley Quinn outfit no sleeves, a belt for her tricks (and treats), her classic domino mask, and her jester headpiece or her red and black-tipped ponytails. Speaking of the ponytails, I hated how it was pink. Like, where the hell is there pink in Harley’s original colors? Yes, I added a cute blush in the design, but that’s just the makeup that would suit someone who’s been laughing, cause I know that when I laugh my cheeks get red. And why was Harley’s hair bleach blonde? If anything it would’ve been closer to Michelle Pfeiffer’s hair color. Ah, and now I get to Dr. Quinnzel. I found a post that showed her tights. Her tights had things like 'spank me, eat me, etc.’ written on them. What the hell? This just proves to me that the costume department took one look at each picture they were given for Harley Quinn without doing background research and thought 'oh, so what? Is she some sort of… sex pot or something?’ And just went to town. No, Warner Bros. She is not just some sexual object. She is sexy, but only to Joker. In the pre-52 launch, that is. I give video games like the Arkham series and Injustice a pass because they’re video games. They do stuff like that, they sexualize their female characters and, quite frankly, unless it fucks with my logic, (how the hell is THAT armor gonna help a girl) I don’t care. But DC comics saw that people liked the Arkham version of Harley and gave us some… discount, cheap cosplay of it. I’d like to point out that with the loss of her jester costume, she was less fun. A lot of her personality traits such as her childlike charm went down the drain. She was less funny. It was truly a shame. This next part really has nothing to do with the portrayal of Harley Quinn or the Suicide Squad but I’d thoroughly appreciate it if you’d keep the Suicide Squad posters AWAY from the Negan ones cause they really have nothing on my dearest Negan and it annoys me when I turn the display thing and see THAT after I’ve laid my eyes on GREATNESS!! Thanks! Xoxo -Harleen

#harley quinn #joker and harley #Suicide squad #anti suicide squad

[canaryatlaw]

So today was pretty good, both productive and relaxing which is a pretty cool balance to strike. I set my super late like if you're not awake already wake the fuck up alarm for 3:45 as that was the latest I could possibly sleep before having to do shit, but thankfully I woke up around 1 (which is pretty average). I made a smoothie for breakfast because I had a few random ingredients that I thought it could use, and it came out pretty good except it was a bit too thick and like, was not a smoothie in texture lol. But it was still good. I got to work doing the bluebook exercise I have to turn in for larc on Friday, which took while. Unlike last year's that had us write out a citation, this one was multiple choice so I wound up looking up all the technicalities of what is what. It wasn't that bad though. Finished that, then got around to finally putting my laundry away, lol. My room is still a bit of a mess at the moment, but we're making substantial progress- there's no longer clothes all over the floor so that is definitely good haha. Hopefully I can get the rest of the shit lying around organized somewhat or something like that soon, maybe over the weekend, that would be good. By the time I finished all of that it was like 3:45, so I hung out for a little bit and relaxed before getting ready and heading to school for crim pro. It was an interesting class, our prof is really cool and she's always asking us to talk about our opinions on stuff and she was going on about wrongful convictions today so during the break I was talking to her about the podcasts I listen to and all the crazy cases there are out there and she seemed really into it. Towards the end of the class there was an interesting moment, because we were reading about bail and there was a note about this guy who "swallowed a bottle of excedrin" while out of bail which the defense said was a suicide attempt and he prosecutor was like "nah it's good" so they let the guy walk out and h shot himself in the head two days later, and I was just like, I'm sorry, but how does anybody not characterize swallowing a bottle of painkillers as a suicide attempt?? And of course then I had to let slip I might be oversensitive on this exact issue because in high school my best friend swallowed a bottle of painkillers and a lot of people didn't take it seriously and believe me, she was very serious. So I think I kind of made everyone do a double take when I let that out, but I felt like I made my point haha and the prof seemed pleased I shared my opinion at least. She let us out like half an hour early, so class was over and I headed home with one of the guys in my class who was in my section last year and takes the red line home. He's the one who would also raise his hand in civ pro except the prof hated him so his answer was always wrong lol, he's funny and we get along pretty well, so we had an entertaining conversation about our legal adventures and everything else. I haven't seen e-board guy at all yet this semester, which is obviously a change from sitting next to him and riding home with him two classes a week. I'll see him Friday at the pad meeting, but it's obviously a change and I'm kind of sad about that *shrug*. Got home and turned on Frequency because that was on tonight, which is the first time in actually watching it on the night it airs (not live, but close). Interesting episode, we obviously made some progress as far as actually getting Raimy's mom back, but since it wasn't the season finale I knew there was gonna be a catch, and then obviously it was gonna be about Robbie because they kept following him. I'm confused on where they're going from here though, was it just that the douchey priest guy (never learn names) is the actual nightingale killer and Robbie killed the mom because he was stalking her or whatever and they made it look like a nightingale one? Cuz like we clearly see him killing multiple people, so he's definitely the right guy, then Robbie is just there with a bunch of photos of her? And she's back so how is this gonna effect the timeline? Cuz if he just goes on to murder her anyway Raimy's memories would've changed but she wouldn't actually come back, so it has to have changed so she does actually survive regardless of what Robbie does. So seeing what happens next week will be interesting. I'm happy for Raimy though of course that she now has her mom back and also got to have all the memories of a life with her father alive. I also don't know what's going on with the corrupt cop guy (who all I think when I see him is that he was a paramedic on third watch back in the day and I was obsessed with that show) and how he's gonna play into all of this. I was cringing a bit at the interrogation stuff of both Frank and Raimy because both of them did stupid shit that I was like omg stop you're gonna fuck yourself over. Like Frank straight up telling him he's the guy that kidnapped him and threw him in a trunk, because what's to stop the guy from being like "hey this guy kidnapped me and put me in a trunk" which normally would be dismissed as unintelligible, but Frank was literally JUST suspected of having someone in his trunk...like I mean, the circumstantial evidence there would be pretty damning lol. And their stupid IA investigation just really proves why we need cameras in interrogation rooms, for the sakes of the suspects and the cops. But yeah, good episode and I'm sad this season is over already. I don't think it's been renewed yet, or at least it wasn't in the CW's big announcement the other day about renewing a bunch of shows (like my favorite time losers) so hopefully that will happen soon because I like it a lot. We also talked about the minority report a bit in class tonight haha because we were talking about preventative detention and if we had a foolproof way of predicting who would commit crimes should we just lock them up, and someone mentioned it was being made into a tv show which lead to like half the class looking it up on their computers (it was funny, because our prof was like "oh I hope it's led by a girl this time because I hate Tom Cruise" and then like 15 seconds later I just hear from behind me "it is a girl!" and it was basically the best thing ever). And upon looking it up I found out it came out last year, just 10 episodes, and it stars one very dapper looking Nick Zano, so I may have to add that to my list of shows to watch (the episodes are on Amazon instant video, I checked). I just added crazy ex-girlfriend the other night and I'm also considering starting the Americans which has been on my list for a while so we'll see what I pick to watch after I finish a series of unfortunate events (assuming I choose to watch the whole season, which is somewhat indefinite at the moment). And yeah, after that I packed my lunch and dinner for tomorrow since I'll be out for both and then got ready for bed and that was my day. Back at work tomorrow, which should be exciting. I'm really just waiting for my 711 to come at this point so I can actually be useful and start doing actual lawyer things even if I'm somewhat scared of what that will mean lol. The good thing is the GAL doesn't really have a burden of proof, that's on the SA and the GAL just generally joins in their argument, so it's somewhat less pressure than having to make out an entire case theory and shit myself. Idk if I'll legit be doing trials and serious things or if I'll just be doing things like permanency hearings, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the former because I've heard as much from 3L's with their 711's lol- supervised tends to be a very subjective term. But yeah, that's about it. Should be good. Until then, I'd like to get some sleep being that my alarm will go off 7 hours from now, so that's what I will be doing. Goodnight peeps. Be safe.

#daily journal #January 2017