#on fire garbage can hal jordan
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“why do you always single out Hal Jordan in your shitposts” it’s what Bruce Wayne would want
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by TheResurrectionist
“Me, you,” Hal said, voice rising, “Horizontal tango. Preferably while looking away from Supes. Yes?”
There was a long, awful pause as Bruce stared at him.
“You think,” and there was that voice again, “that I want to spend the last ten minutes of my life with your dick down my throat?”
Words: 1270, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent
Relationships: Hal Jordan (Green Lantern)/Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne (Implied)
Additional Tags: inspired by a tumblr post, Inspired by Art, Minor Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, batlantern decided 10 minutes before death to let the intrusive thoughts win, Bruce Wayne is So Done, Jealous Clark Kent, Resolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Voyeurism, Kryptonite (DCU), Crack, no beta we die like jason todd, or like hal's dignity, which was already on thin ice, Hal Jordan my beloved on-fire garbage can, Clark Kent is Batlantern's #1 hater
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/48188866
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What do you think Hal’s favorite food is
I have many ideas about this. Like I have to put this under a readmore because I have to scroll to get to the bottom types of thoughts
Hal Jordan does not like chili. He especially does not like the new guy Green Arrow’s chili that he brought to the JL potluck. He doesn’t know what Arrow guy put in it, but he saw the face that Superman made after eating it. He’s seen Superman eat alien food that tastes like garbage before, if Superman doesn’t like it, no one does. He tries it and he almost throws up with how hot it is. He doesn’t like chili. He will stick with his crackers and baked ham, thank you very much.
Hal Jordan doesn’t like chili, but he might make an exception for Ollie’s. They’re in the middle of nowhere, just the two of them. The guardian had left a week ago and Dinah had gone ahead to the next town. It was just the two of them and Ollie’s chili starter in the truck. They warm the chili over a fire. Hal gets it down, washing it down with a piece of fancy bread (well at least the type that isn’t just processed white bread, more of a round loaf from a small grocery store in the last town). Hal thinks he likes it this time. He doesn’t know what is different (yes he does, and its him and its Ollie). To see Ollie smile and laugh when he says he loves it, he thinks he’ll eat it a thousand times, just to see that sight again.
Hal Jordan hates the mere sight of chili. Oliver Queen is dead and gone. He should have been there for him, he should have been there. He can’t stand the reminder of times and places and memories long past. He would remake the world for Ollie. He can’t stand the smell, the sight, of something once so precious to him.
Hal Jordan treasures the taste of chili. He doesn’t like it, he never will, but it means Ollie is alive, that Ollie is here with him. He ruined all his bridges a long time ago, but they’re being rebuilt now (he ignores what he had to do, the lines he crossed to make that rebuilding happen, they can never know the truth). He puts some chili in a bowl, right next to his plate with a hot dog and crackers, and he smiles. Happiness, he thinks, is stored in things like this. He cannot think of a better place to be.
Okay, yeah there are Hal’s very complicated thoughts on chili. My thoughts are my boy cannot stand spicy things, he is a generic white American in that. Otherwise, because he’s supposed to be such a man’s man, he doesn’t like traditional manly things but tries to act like he does. He doesn’t like a ton of red meat, he doesn’t like burgers and steak and stuff. As he grows more comfortable with himself, he stops forcing himself to eat those types of food. I feel like he would be a white meat for chicken and turkey type guy and he loves baked hams (especially if there’s mashed potatoes and corn). He believes saltine crackers are the best part of chili because they are. I also feel like there’s some weird alien food he loves, but otherwise he’s pretty safe in his food choices. Thanks for the ask!
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savestate
by TheResurrectionist
“Me, you,” Hal said, voice rising, “Horizontal tango. Preferably while looking away from Supes. Yes?”
There was a long, awful pause as Bruce stared at him.
“You think,” and there was that voice again, “that I want to spend the last ten minutes of my life with your dick down my throat?”
Words: 1270, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent
Relationships: Hal Jordan (Green Lantern)/Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne (Implied)
Additional Tags: inspired by a tumblr post, Inspired by Art, Minor Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, batlantern decided 10 minutes before death to let the intrusive thoughts win, Bruce Wayne is So Done, Jealous Clark Kent, Resolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Voyeurism, Kryptonite (DCU), Crack, no beta we die like jason todd, or like hal's dignity, which was already on thin ice, Hal Jordan my beloved on-fire garbage can, Clark Kent is Batlantern's #1 hater
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/48188866
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❛ this is an on - fire garbage can. ❜
❝ YEAH, BECAUSE I WILLED IT INTO EXISTENCE. That’s how the Ring works. ❞ Somewhat disturbing sneak peaks into Hal Jordan’s psyche aside, the green trash can disappears, taking its heat and its flames along with it. Hal makes with the jazz - hands. ❝ —— Ta -da. ❞
@tstvrk / MEME WEEKEND
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Constructive criticism: Green Lantern
(Originally posted on Deviantart May 8, 2018)
Before Man of steel Warner Bros tried to get the DC comics`s cinematic universe started with Green Lantern in 2011. I liked that they aimed the spotlight at someone who wasn`t Superman or Batman for a change. To bad it didn`t work. Mediocre CGI, dialogue that felt like it was written so that it wouldn`t go over the head of the average seven-year old and a bad guy that was so powerful that they should have saved him for the sequels did not help this movie. At first I was gonna write this CC as if it was meant for the freestanding movie that Green Lantern ended up as. But I wondered: Could I fit it into my own hypothetical DCEU? I preferred putting him in the first Justice League movie rather than postpone his League-joining to a much, much later one. So... if I could run so fast that I could screw the laws of physics, travel backwards in time and change these movies, Where in the movie-order would I have put it? How about... after Wonder Woman but before Batman v Superman?
Here`s how I would do it.
The CGI suit I can see what they were thinking, it was supposed to look artificial. But it didn`t look good. Don`t make it completely CGI, make it a practical suit, but the Green Lantern symbol on the chest can be done with CGI. I like the idea of at least some part of the suit generating light.
The Plot: Outter space: Abin Sur is on a desolate planet, cutting off a piece of a meteorite. (He`s on a mission to take it to his home planet so scientists can analyze it.) He realizes that he`s not alone. He gets attacked by an old enemy who wounds him. He takes the meteorite-piece, flees to his ship and gets the hell outta there. The wound is serious, he fears he may not survive and flies to the nearest planet.
Earth: Hal Jordan wakes up, realizes he`s late, drives like a madman to the military base where he and Carol tests how well the two of them can handle the new A.I. planes. On his way to the locker room he bumps into his friend Tom Kalmaku and a scientist named Hector Hammond who are talking about the destruction of Metropolis. (Continuity!) Unlike Hal in the movie, my version does not freeze up because of stress or when he sees his dad`s photo. Hal is a guy with strong willpower (Why else did the ring choose him?). Like in the movie he puts himself in a dangerous situation, becomes afraid but with a little effort overcomes that fear and takes care of the A.I. planes. He still gets yelled at by his superiors because he takes unnecessary risks just to prove a point. They don`t fire him but they give him a warning. On his way out he gets a half-hearted but well-meaning pat on the shoulder by Hector Hammond.
A little later, at the end of the day he gets abducted by Abin Sur`s green light. It takes him to the dying alien pilot who gives the GL ring to him. After Hal has buried Abin Sur, gotten back to the base (thanks to his buddy Tom Kalmaku) and had a little talk with Carol, the ring activates and takes him to Oa where he meets Tomar-Re, Arisia and Sinestro and is introduced to the Green Lantern Corps.
He is told, by Sinestro, that millennia ago, one of the guardians (Krona) tried to harness the yellow light of fear but it backfired horribly and he is believed to be dead.
He also finds out why Abin Sur was flying around in a spaceship, despite the GL ring making such form of transportation unnecessary: An Oracle told him that one day, when he would need it the most, the ring would fail him. Abin Sur decided to use the spaceship as a precaution. Without realizing that by doing so he helped the prophecy to come true. His ring was working perfectly, it failed him because he let fear get the better of him. Sinestro laments Abin Sur`s passing and reveals that he was his friend. Meanwhile on Earth: government-people have found Abin Sur and his spaceship. They take Abin Sur`s body and the meteorite to a lab under the military base where Hector Hammond gets to analyze them.
Hal is trained to be a Lantern by Kilowog who is a tough, relentless teacher. Hal thinks about quitting but Sinestro convinces him to continue his training with a "the ring chose you for a reason" speech. While making this speech he uses his ring to show Hal holographic images of his own planet Korugar as a way of telling him "This is what I fight for, this is what`s important." Hal continues, survives Kilowog`s training and has finished the first step in becoming a Green Lantern. Next: Hal gets to go on a mission. Since he`s still green (pun intended) he gets assisted by a more experienced GL: Sinestro. They travel to a planet where their job is to take down an escaped criminal. As they are searching for him Sinestro starts talking about the power that the Green Lanterns have and what amazing things they could do with it if they weren`t limited by the old, dogmatic rules of the Guardians.
Sinestro: "We could do more with the power we have, so much more."
Then they are attacked by the criminal.
They fight him only to realize that he is the same guy that killed Abin Sur. Sinestro lets rage take over him and wants to kill the criminal. Hal manages to stop him, calm him down and convince him to put the criminal in prison instead. Later Hal needs to return to Earth to tell his friends that he`s still alive after having been missing for more than a day. He asks Sinestro if he will be OK, Sinestro says that he`ll be fine but when Hal flies away we see that Sinestro is not fine. Back on earth, Hal is working on what to say to his friends who are probably worried sick about him.
Meanwhile: Hammond is analyzing the meteorite piece, it starts to glow and explodes. The explosion causes parts of the military base to collapse. Carol saves a couple of people but puts her own life in jeopardy. She`s about to get crushed by the debris... but is saved, by a green forcefield. A forcefield that seems to come from a mysterious man in an alien, green costume. Knowing that Carol and everyone else is safe he leaves without saying a word. (Everyone else may be safe but Hammond is in a coma.) Later that evening Carol is visited by the mysterious man in the green suit. She goes up to thank him but notices something.
Carol: "Hal?"
Hal: "Miss?"
Carol: "Hal? Oh, my G...! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Hal!"
Hal: "How did you know it was me?"
Carol: "What do you mean? I've known you my whole life! I've seen you naked! You don't think I would recognize you because I can't see your cheekbones? What is this? Why the green suit? What the hell is with that mask?"
Hal: "It came with the outfit. Cool, huh?"
(Yes, I`m keeping that scene in my version because that scene is gold!) So Hal tells her everything, about him becoming a Lantern and that his new job will involve a lot galactic travelling. As Carol processes what she`s just heard Hal gets a signal from his ring. The Guardians are calling him, must be important. Hal travels to Oa and is (for the first time in this movie) allowed to meet and talk to the Guardians. He finds out that Sinestro has used his GL ring to take control of his own planet Korugar. Hal, Kilowog and Arisia travel to Korugar to take care of Sinestro.
They arrive on Korugar and try to reason with Sinestro, but he doesn`t want to listen and instead talks about how the Green Lanterns are garbage collectors.
Sinestro: "The only way to operate out here is by fear. They hit, I hit harder. They attack, I annihilate. I am the one constant, unassailable force against their chaos! Look at the universe the Guardians have created. We have the greatest power in the cosmos and what have they made us? Garbage collectors! We pick up the trash!"
"A thief here, a killer there. Scum, dirt, filth! There's no end to it, but there could be. It's my dream that one day all of the rot will be wiped away. A new order will prevail, one that will end the chaos. But it won't be built by the faint of heart!" Then they fight. Sinestro is defeated and stands trial before the Guardians. They banish him to the planet Qward. Even if what Sinestro did was wrong Hal defends the point that he was trying (and failing) to make: that the laws that the Guardians expect the Lanterns to follow are too rigid. Some of them could be changed, like: at least allow each sector to have two Green Lanterns patrolling it. (The sectors are very big, it`s a lot of work for just one Green Lantern.)
Hal expects the Guardians to fire him from the Green Lantern Corps. But all they do is say: "We will consider it." Hal returns to Earth were he talks a little to Carol, gives her a good-bye hug and kiss and flies away. Mid-credit scene: Planet Qward: Sinestro is visited by a mysterious, levitating hooded figure. We can`t see his face because it is hidden in the shadow of his hood, but we can see his glowing, yellow eyes. The figure tells Sinestro that millennia ago he tried to harness the yellow light of fear. It backfired but he survived and learned from his mistake. He met a Master who showed him the way: The only way to bring order to the universe is to strike fear into the hearts of others. Something Sinestro understands.The figure gives Sinestro a Yellow Lantern ring.
(Dun-dun dunn! It`s Krona! And the master he speaks of is Parallax!)
End credit Scene: Dr Hector Hammond wakes up from his coma and has developed telekinetic abilities.
The reason why Hal was absent during the events of Batman v Superman, Flash and Aquaman was because he was busy patrolling in space.
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I love that one comic panel where Hal is like “oh yeah I can totally take the Justice League in a fight…”
*quietly, to the floor*
“…aslongasbatmanisntthere.”
“What did you say?”
“I said…aslongasbatmanisntthere.”
#bruce wayne#batman#dc#justice league#hal jordan#on fire garbage can hal jordan#bamf batman#like it’s literally canon#his only plan is to yeet Bruce as far away as possible#to even have a chance
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The League has to tolerate Batman because if my man ever got pissed and decided to flip sides? Instant loss. There’s no way a team with Hal Jordan on it could play metaphorical chess against the Batman and win.
#the league exists purely because Bruce is too good of a person to ever flip#but still#bruce wayne#batman#dc#justice league#JL#on fire garbage can hal jordan#unhinged batman is my fave#poor Clark
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savestate
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/t7VQnvA
by TheResurrectionist
“Me, you,” Hal said, voice rising, “Horizontal tango. Preferably while looking away from Supes. Yes?”
There was a long, awful pause as Bruce stared at him.
“You think,” and there was that voice again, “that I want to spend the last ten minutes of my life with your dick down my throat?”
Words: 1270, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Hal Jordan (Green Lantern), Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent
Relationships: Hal Jordan (Green Lantern)/Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne (Implied)
Additional Tags: inspired by a tumblr post, Inspired by Art, Minor Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, batlantern decided 10 minutes before death to let the intrusive thoughts win, Bruce Wayne is So Done, Jealous Clark Kent, Resolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Voyeurism, Kryptonite (DCU), Crack, no beta we die like jason todd, or like hal's dignity, which was already on thin ice, Hal Jordan my beloved on-fire garbage can, Clark Kent is Batlantern's #1 hater
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/t7VQnvA
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“Take your glow stick and go home. Gotham’s mine.”
#brb just fell for justice league war’s batman#bruce wayne#batman#dc#justice league#justice league war#hal jordan#on fire garbage can hal jordan
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